#388 – The Expat Files: Life in the Dominican Republic and the Politics of Immigration

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:14] Hello there all you expat wannabes, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America. It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great and it's all right here so let's get started. So I'm out and about traveling again through Latin America of course and you'll never guess where I'm broadcasting from this time. Nope, not from jail, not this time. Though that's always a possibility if by chance you're invited to an embassy party and you run into an embassy jerk or a visiting US politician or his or her latin scumbag political equivalent. Come on, are there any other kind? The only thing those pretentious asses merit is a punch in the face but luckily I'm not

[00:59] that kind of guy. Or maybe I am which is why I keep away from those kind of parties. Which by the way, you're paying for. That said, you know there are 20 Latin American countries actually, I always mention that number. Though there's always some dispute because often people include Puerto Rico. Now it's a US territory but some people say it's a Latin American country and that would bring the total to 21. Personally, I don't rate it as a Latin American country any more than I rate Miami and the greater Florida area as a Latin American country. Wait a minute, that's not right, Florida is Latin America now, isn't it? That's what I've heard. Anyway, I'm broadcasting from the beautiful Dominican Republic. Known to gringos and expats living in Latin America as the DR and known to Latins as

[01:48] just La Republica, meaning the Republic, but who calls their country the Republic? Kinda screwy, huh? Since nearly every democratic country is considered more or less a republic, right? Or more precisely like the US, a failed republic. Alright, alright, so what if it doesn't make much sense? This is Latin America, you know. Anyway, if you're from the Dominican Republic, you're from La Republica, that's the slang on the street. Confused yet? Well, to jostle your brain a little more. In Latin America, people from the Dominican Republic are called Dominicanos, not Republicanos because that would piss off Republicans up in the States now, wouldn't it? So they're Dominicanos from La Republica, go figure, huh? And don't worry, I won't confuse you with the fact that there's an island in the Caribbean

[02:36] called Dominica with residents who also have the perfect right to call themselves Dominicanos or Dominicanas. But why confuse ourselves with the facts, right? So let's talk about the Dominican Republic here. And it really is a wonderful place if you have the money. I mean, come on, with electricity at 35 to 45 cents a kilowatt hour? I know, I know, the internet says 20 or 25, but that's before they load all those unintelligible taxes on your electric bill. Because you know, as a gringo or expat living there, you won't be in the preferred subsidized poverty classes that are only paying maybe 15 cents a kilowatt hour. You know, the class of people living in tin roof shacks in the slums. Because you see, the fact is if you use less than 100 kilowatt hours a month, which the

[03:26] average slum dweller does, you'll be in that low 15 cents a kilowatt hour subsidized class. You as a 24-7 air conditioning user will be in the gringo gouged classes. You'll be using anywhere from 500 to 1,000 kilowatt hours a month. That's what I've been hearing from the average first world person living down here. That's about four times what you pay in the States. And gasoline at $6.50 a gallon. You'll be shelling out $300 or $400 a month alone just on air conditioning, and you'll need it, believe me. I should say the very hot and beautiful Dominican Republic. And don't worry, the next couple of shows will have a lot to say about this place. Why? Because I often do get emails from people asking me what it's like to retire or do

[04:14] business and, well, live the expat life there, of course. And the reason I've been holding back on it for so long is because, well, I hadn't been back for about 15 years. And since I'm here now, I can let you have it with both barrels. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the great. When we can find it. And believe me, after you hear what I have to say, I don't think you want to be living here anytime soon. Oh yes, it is a great vacation by far. A couple of weeks, you'll love it. But living here permanently? Well, we'll get to that. And just to give you a little taste, did you know that the Dominican Republic has, besides Cuba, the lowest minimum wage in all Latin America, which should be a good thing for Gringos and expats, right? Well, it happens to be a double-edged sword because in the cities, people are

[05:04] so poor, cities like Santo Domingo, that if you don't know your way around, it can be a very dangerous place to be. Bottom line, in Santo Domingo, you don't want to be a clueless gringo standing around looking at a map or punching numbers into your iPhone. That's one good way to get mugged. Now you see, the minimum wage, as stated, is very deceiving in Dominican Republic. I know, I know, you can look it up all day on the internet and see that it's around 300 bucks a month, but it's really not. It's only about a hundred bucks a month. And people who talk about a $300 minimum wage, which is set by law, are talking about something that's unobtainable down here for the average unskilled worker. Unless of course you're working in a big factory or a large company, which means you'll be on the books, of course.

[05:51] And down here, only about half of the population actually works on the books. Basically because it's a country with heavy illegal immigration. So it's often impossible to enforce government-mandated work benefits and wages when you've got millions of illegal immigrants who will take the job off the books for a lot less. Now, does that sound a bit familiar? And if you talk to anyone on the street, and by the way, it'll have to be in Spanish unless you're at one of the big resort hotels. Anyway, if you talk to the average guy on the street, let's say a cab driver. Gotta love those cab drivers. They always know at least 20 or 30 words of English anyway. Now, first thing you'll find out is that every single Haitian has three missions in life. One, just to survive, of course. Two, to have, get this, a big screen TV.

[06:39] And three, to sneak into the Dominican Republic and live happily ever after as a means to get that stuff. So that's how Dominicans view their Haitian illegal invaders when you talk to the average guy on the street. I know, I know, it's a stereotype and not quite reality, but it's their stereotypical view of the Haitians. And you'll find it's kind of the glossy, nice version that they'll give a gringo expat like me, a guy they never really met before, but who's riding in the cab or getting his shoes shined or whatever. So that's what you hear in a quick conversation. But if you talk to any average Dominican for long enough time, you know, and believe me, everybody seems to smoke down here.

[07:26] Even a ton of women. Why? Because tobacco cigars and really good cigars, by the way, are a huge export business for them, but I'll get to that later. Anyway, after a short trite conversation, they'll open up a bit more about their disgust for the Haitians. Like, for example, who they view as low-class, uneducated, culture-less invaders who are stealing their jobs. Sound familiar? And I'm telling you, I must have heard that a dozen different ways from a dozen different Dominicans on my travels down here. So you might ask then, how many Haitians did I speak to? Well, I know I spoke to quite a few of them, but they'll never admit it. In fact, just like in the States, Haitians who are legal residents of the Dominican Republic will diss other Haitians who are coming in illegally.

[08:15] Now that they've become legal through marriage or whatever, they don't want any of their fellow Haitians piling on in. Now, come on, doesn't that sound familiar? And remember, we're talking about the island of Hispaniola here, which consists of two countries, Dominican Republic and Haiti. And each of them has around 10 million or so population. Now, the fact is, every single Haitian wants to escape into the Dominican Republic to get a job or at least to live a halfway decent life, since Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Now, to any first world or gringo visitor to that island, just by looking at the two groups of people, we really can't tell who's a Haitian and who's a Dominican, except for the fact that the Haitians, so they say, have a little French lilt in their speech. However, ask the Dominicans and they'll tell you that the Haitians

[09:03] are low class blacks. However, nothing's that simple, as you'll see. The fact is, there's so much severe discrimination here that ask a Dominican what cultural heritage he or she is. They'll never admit to being black. This you'll hear him say all the time. They'll say, the Haitians are black. We Dominicans come in about 12 different colors, don't you know? Now, don't laugh. It's true. Even though to most all of us first world folks, Dominicans are mostly black. But please, don't ever say that to them because a black person down here is a Haitian. So anyway, these Dominicans are really stuck on that 12 different skin color shade thing.

[09:50] And while they can rattle them off like nothing, you and I, gringos and expats, well, I guess we're just not trained in the subtleties of all that. In fact, let me read you this excerpt from a locally famous sociologist. Well, at least he's published and has a lot of op-ed pieces in the local newspapers, Dayasi Josephina. Now, I'll quote from this article, Dominicans are a rainbow of blacks, tans, and browns and very proud of their mixed race heritage. They reserve the word Negro or black for Haitians only. Even though 85 to 95% of Dominicans have African ancestry. He goes on to say, Dominicans go to great lengths to avoid defining themselves as blacks.

[10:35] In fact, in the early 1970s, sociologists identified 12 skin colors, labeling different pigmentations ranging from lechoso, which means extremely white, like white milk, because leche in the word lechoso means milk in Spanish. To the other end of the color spectrum, which is morado, morado or mora, which is so dark as to be almost purple. In fact, mora means dark or black raspberry in Spanish. Even today, on a Dominican census, people will self-identify as Moreno, which is a light brown, or Indio, a dark brown, instead of obviously listing their true color

[11:21] of black or Negro. And just as an aside here, remember when I told you in a past show that the word Indio is a big insult? Well, that's only on the mainland of Central and South America, not on the island of Hispaniola, which is Dominican Republic and Haiti. For every rule, there's an exception, right? And the article goes on to say that, it's hypothesized that Dominicans will never treat other Dominicans in the same way they egregiously treat Haitians. And race and skin color are primary reasons why Dominicans look upon Haitians as lesser people. And then the article goes on and on about state-sponsored racism coming out of the Dominican Republic for the last 50 or so years. So Dominican society itself

[12:08] is heavily conditioned in that sense. Now, racial disputes and tensions that exist between those two countries doesn't affect us gringos or gringos living in Dominican Republic, for example, except as to flood the low-end labor market and to make wages artificially low. Sound familiar? And it's estimated that between one and five million Haitians are living right now in the Dominican Republic illegally. So much for bad government record-keeping, huh? Now, that's not to say there aren't a lot of Dominicans making three or four or 500 bucks a month, there are. But I'm talking about the waiter and the porter jobs and the agricultural and service workers. You know, the grunt working bottom end of the social class in any country. So now, if you're sitting around watching TV,

[12:56] you'll see elections are coming up and guess what all the candidates and political parties are harping on? They're promising a few vote for me will raise the minimum wage. What else? Sound familiar? Wow, creative geniuses, huh? So, and in fact, you could say on this island it's kind of a microcosm of what's happening up in the States. They've got a tremendous illegal immigration problem that they can't control and they really don't put any effort into controlling it all. And in fact, the government doesn't want to control it because it keeps the labor cheap and therefore the sugarcane and the tobacco business, which are huge export industries here, and the so-called Makila sweatshop business, you know, the T-shirt, tennis shoes, and hill figure boys, can only operate with very cheap labor

[13:43] or else the jobs will move to India, Indonesia, or Vietnam. And by the way, I've been down here long enough to actually see that happen. I've watched Americans come down and open up clothing factories like that. I've watched them leave when politicians raise the minimum wage suddenly. If only by a few cents an hour that makes all the difference in the clothing piz. Then the Koreans come in to take their place and at first you wonder why they come in after the Americans left. How come they can make it profitable and the Americans can't? Well, since those guys are really slave divers, they can squeeze blood out of a turnip and they often try to do it. They're the ones, by the way, that define that word sweatshop. That's why Latins will tell you how they never like to work for the Asians.

[14:29] But it is a job and you gotta eat. Then after a while, the politicians pull another minimum wage increase and even the Koreans hike back to Indonesia or Vietnam. So those big factories are always chasing down the cheapest labor. And you know the average grunt worker with no skills is so stupid he falls for that minimum wage ploy every time. Even though when a politician raises the minimum wage, it's an automatic guarantee that the country's not gonna gain jobs, they're gonna lose them, by the tens of thousands too. So who wins? The politicians, of course, because they get elected on that promise. Now, from what I've found out, one of the big differences between the Haitian illegal immigrant population

[15:15] moving into the DR and the Latin American population moving in illegally into the United States is that Haitians will do everything possible to assimilate. In fact, they'll even try to adopt the mannerisms, the dress, the culture and the style of language. What does that tell you? They're not, I repeat not, trying to set up little Haitian colonies in the Dominican Republic. Unlike illegal invaders do up in a certain first world police state country that starts with a U and taxes its citizens to death, illegals in the Dominican Republic do not wanna be picked out as Haitians in a crowd. They do not demand French as a second language, nor do they ever ask or tell Dominicans

[16:03] to respect their individual culture or their so-called rights. You get that? That's because they're illegal trespassers and have virtually no rights of a citizen, though they do have the right to be kicked out or thrown in jail. So that said, the last thing they wanna do is congregate in large Haitian enclaves in a land where they're illegals, as opposed to up in the states where as you will know, once illegals slip into the states, they end up in those pure Latin enclaves. There, oftentimes they never have to speak a word of English. That's why so many of these little enclaves are grungy little carbon copies of the scruffy places they escaped from back home. And if any of you bleeding heart guys and gals up there

[16:50] wants to challenge me on that, come on down and I'll introduce you to any number of illegals that got deported from the states, many of them five or six times, by the way, who've lived up there for years and years, some of them six, eight, or even 10 years, and still speak no more than 20 or 30 words of English. Oh yeah, and this should thrill you. I've met any number of deported illegal aliens down here who are happy to show me their driver's licenses, and yes, they're real. Texas, Arizona, Louisiana, you name it, I've seen the driver's licenses. Oh, and they're so happy and proud to show it to me too. Honorary US citizens, right? Yep, almost a gringo just like me.

[17:37] Now remember, these guys are illegal and most of them can't carry a conversation in English, so how'd that happen? Now, wait a second, let's get this straight. For all you bleeding hearts out there, those are the kind of people you want to live in your country, in your neighborhood, right? People who are chronic liars, lawbreakers, and felons. Yes, I said felons, nearly all of them. So why can I say that? Listen to this, I mean, really, guys that broke the law by coming into your country illegally, people who, one of the first things they do when they get there is they get a false social security number illegally, just look it up, break in another law, this time a felony, of course. Then, going to get a driver's license illegally,

[18:22] breaking another law, another felony. Of course, to do that, you have to show them your false social security card and lie your ass off on all the forms, another felony, and then there's all those social service programs that nearly every illegal eventually applies for once they get there, also illegally obtained with multiple false documents and a truckload of lies. That's felony upon felony upon felony. And you expect these folks, after gaming the system and multiplying felony upon felony, to be good solid American citizens, you know, once they've gotten here and settled down and learned how to be a good productive citizen, by watching you paint your house and fix your screens

[19:10] and mow your lawn as a good waspy neighborly example, et cetera, et cetera. Yep, that's how it is, all right. Or maybe they'll learn how to be good American citizens by watching e-entertainment television, in Spanish, of course, because that's how we all live, right? Or maybe they'll learn to be good American citizens in civics class at those wonderful first world government schools, after the daily pat down through the metal detectors, of course. Oh yeah, and all you bleeding hearts up there, you knew this, right? The vast, vast majority of them have no skills and no more than a sixth or seventh grade education. Yep, those are the kind of people you want as your next door neighbors, right? That, my friends, is what they call the American dream. That said, what's in it for you?

[19:57] All you get out of it is what I'd call the American nightmare and maybe a cheap gardener. That said, just one last question for you all. If you were to find out, for example, that there was a multiple felon living in your neighborhood, maybe working as the pool boy for your next door neighbor or the gardener, or he was doing drywall for the guy across the street, I mean, come on, you can actually go on the internet and track these guys and the neighborhoods they live in and where they dwell. Why is that different than these illegal felons that are invading your neighborhoods? I don't really get it, but in a way, almost all of my expat friends and acquaintances feel the same way. Don't think when we get together we don't talk about this stuff too. The consensus is, you can have them, take them all.

[20:45] Take all the poor, uneducated, take the children, and don't forget all those pregnant teenage children with children, oh, and don't forget the gangbangers. Because you know, in this case, it is a zero-sum game. As your country slides into the abyss, down here, things are getting better all the time. Okay, the rant's over, and I really didn't want to get into it that much, but I get a hell of a lot of emails on the subject these days. And some of them mention that very thing. So many of you guys and girls up there suspect that things are getting better here as they get worse up in the states, simply because it's a kind of a brain drain in reverse. Turns out that most expats and gringos that come down to live here, permanently or not, are well above average, some simply brilliant.

[21:33] Then, to spike that effect with steroids, you got the poor, the sick, the desperate, the uneducated, the unwanted, and the undereducated, the pregnant, and the criminal element, vacating Latin America in massive numbers and coming your way. I've heard various numbers, but unofficially, I was told by an embassy guy down here that they figure there's about 30 million illegal aliens in the U.S. right now. In fact, the illegal Latin American aliens outnumber the legal ones up in the states by, get this, three to one. So are you all right with that? Well, if you're not, come on down and check out this American dream. You'll be surprised. Oh, and while I'm at it, I should finish this off by saying this high level embassy guy

[22:21] I was talking to said, unofficially, of course, that they talk about this subject all the time, too, because it's on everybody's radar. By them, he means U.S. embassy workers and U.S. government workers in general down here in Latin America. In fact, he's mentioned that there are a lot of solutions floating around and most of them not very humanitarian or diplomatic, I might add, and these guys and gals are supposed to be diplomats, right? Does that surprise you? It shouldn't, especially when you're talking to those military attache types that guard the embassies. You know, those guys from Halliburton and stuff who are on contract doing security for visiting U.S. scumbag politicians and various malignant dignitaries.

[23:08] So I've heard all the harsh and unhumanitarian type solutions to the problem, but I want you to hear this. He mentioned a great instant solution that's been floating around that would stop illegal immigration in its tracks if implemented once and for all. And in the end, it would please everyone except the illegal aliens, Mexico, and Obama and his brilliant colostomy bag for brain staff. Now, get this. According to inside embassy sources, Mexico gets about three and a half billion dollars with a B in aid directly from the U.S. government to the Mexican government for various programs and such, mostly the word on drugs. You know, the one we lost 20 or 30 years ago. Anyway, like he said, it's been calculated

[23:55] that it costs about 20 to $30,000 for the U.S. government to process and deport each illegal alien that they send back by plane to the home country, like Nicaragua, Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, et cetera. So here's the plan which they'll never implement because it's too logical and politicians never think that way. For every illegal alien deported from the U.S., the U.S. government subtracts $25,000 from the next year's projected U.S. aid package to Mexico. And then he gave me this example. He said, in the six month period from January 1st, 2014 through July, 2014, the United States processed

[24:43] and airlifted, deported that is, 20,000 illegal Salvadoran immigrants, one third of them get this, having felony conviction records in El Salvador. In other words, one third died in the World Gang members. Now, you just take that number, 20,000, and you multiply it by 25,000, the processing fee we were talking about. Well, that works out to a half a billion dollars. Now, if projected out to a whole year, that would be a billion dollars. So just for the tiny country of El Salvador, I mean, the whole place only has six million people, you know? You could charge a billion dollars against Mexico's three and a half billion dollar aid package.

[25:29] Well, you know what that means, don't you? When you add all the countries together, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Costa Rica, Salvador, Honduras, et cetera, and we're not even counting all those millions of Mexican illegals either. Let's just talk about Central America now. If you do the numbers, you'd find out that the Mexican government would get zero aid, none. Every last cent would be deducted from their foreign aid package. Well, you wanna know how long a plan like that would last? Well, I'll tell you, for the loss of three and a half billion dollars, the Mexican government would plug every hole in that border. They'd seal it so tight, and a Gavi worm couldn't wiggle its way through it. That said, people up north in the states

[26:16] aren't the only ones talking about it over their coffee clutches in the morning. Down here, it's all over the news and on the telly too. And of course, Latins, well, they're just completely confused about the whole thing. Especially when they see all these conflicting videos on TV showing North Americans helping illegals once they cross the border into Texas and such, giving them food and water and blankets and even shelter. The fact is, you know, when the locals down here see that stuff on TV, they just have it in their minds all that more solidly that the American dream is alive and well. That it's the Mexicans and the coyotes that are their enemies, not the Americans. From what they can see based on television images is that certain Americans seem to want them

[27:03] to come to their country, and once they get there, they'll get helped right along by all these good Samaritans. Oh, and by the way, here's something I bet you didn't know. I've heard this conversation go down more than once at a middle-class quinceaños party here. I'm serious, some of these low- and middle-class Latins are saying, if they get caught in the States, it'd be worth it, because it would be one sure way to get their possible once-in-a-lifetime jet plane ride. South of the border, down Mexico way. You've been listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America, coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border. Email me, theexpatfiles at gmail.com. And don't forget to check out expatwisdom.com

[27:50] to sign up for your free reports on Latin America. See you next time. Nos vemos.