Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller explores the unique cultural and environmental experiences of expats living in Latin America. He begins by discussing the prevalence of superstitions among the region's diverse indigenous tribes, which have been influenced by modernization and globalization. Johnny highlights the recent rise of Halloween celebrations in Latin America, noting that while the tradition is growing, it's still not fully embraced in all communities. He explains that trick-or-treating is more common in wealthier neighborhoods, and the concept of 'trick or treat' is not yet widely understood. Additionally, Johnny shares a personal anecdote about a friend's pool cracking due to seismic activity, emphasizing the importance of regular inspections for expats living in seismically active areas.
Johnny also delves into the prevalence of hairline cracks in concrete structures in Latin America, noting that while they are common and often invisible, they can lead to significant issues, such as the case of Eddie's swimming pool. He explains how the cracks can cause structural problems if not addressed properly and highlights the cost and labor involved in repairing such issues. Johnny touches on the broader topic of building practices in the region, emphasizing that while minor tremors are common, major collapses are usually due to poor construction or building on unstable land rather than the tremors themselves. He concludes by mentioning certain cultural superstitions in Latin America, such as the practice of tickling a guy under his armpits to test his jealousy.
In another segment, Johnny discusses various Latin American superstitions and the influence of the United States in Latin countries. He begins by talking about how Latin men's ticklishness is linked to their jealousy, followed by superstitions about palm itching and determining the gender of a fetus through hair curling. He then shifts to a more serious topic, discussing the U.S. influence in countries like Costa Rica, Panama, and Colombia, highlighting the presence of U.S. military and alphabet agencies. He criticizes USAID as a CIA front, pointing out its supposed mission to end extreme poverty while actually serving U.S. interests. He concludes by advising expats to be cautious and to look into the real activities of USAID.
Johnny also discusses the opportunities for expats in Latin America, particularly for those seeking employment with organizations like USAID and US consulates. He highlights the availability of jobs in various fields, the requirement for bilingual skills, and the potential for high-paying positions. However, he also critiques the nature of working for the US government abroad, comparing it to a bloated and collapsing system. He shares a story about an expat who has multiple government pensions and benefits, illustrating the perks of such positions, while also expressing disdain for the parasitic nature of these roles.
Finally, Johnny discusses the inflated housing market in embassy areas, where expats and government workers pay exorbitant rents compared to other parts of the city. He highlights the disparity by comparing the cost of living in these areas to the rest of the city, emphasizing that expats often avoid these areas due to the high cost. He then shifts to discussing the financial benefits of government pensions, using the example of a retired Illinois teacher who receives a substantial pension and breaks even quickly after retirement. Johnny warns about the unsustainable pension systems, referencing Illinois as a case study, and encourages listeners to prepare for potential financial instability by attending his seminar on plan B for expats.
Topics
Cultural and environmental experiences of expats in Latin America, Superstitions among indigenous tribes, Halloween in Latin America, Seismic activity and its impact on infrastructure, Personal anecdotes and expat life, Hairline cracks in concrete structures, Swimming pool repair costs in Latin America, Building practices and structural failures, Cultural superstitions in Latin America, Latin American superstitions, U.S. influence in Latin America, USAID and its true purpose
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:51 Superstitions in Latin America 00:01:30 Halloween in Latin America 00:04:05 Seismic Activity and Pool Safety 00:06:06 Hairline Cracks in Concrete Structures in Latin America 00:06:49 Eddie's Pool Crack and the Cost of Repair 00:09:17 Building Practices and Structural Failures in Latin America 00:11:45 Cultural Superstitions in Latin America 00:12:07 Ticklishness and Jealousy in Latin Men 00:12:30 Superstitions About Palm Itching 00:12:47 Determining Gender Through Hair Curling 00:13:21 U.S. Influence in Latin Countries 00:13:38 U.S. Military Presence in Colombia 00:15:03 USAID as a CIA Front 00:15:46 USAID's Mission Statement and Real Purpose 00:17:45 USAID's Role in Disaster Relief 00:18:25 Introduction to Expats' Employment Opportunities in Latin America 00:19:31 Potential for High-Paying Jobs with USAID and US Consulates 00:20:18 Critique of Government Work and Personal Reasons for Leaving the US 00:22:45 Story of an Expat with Multiple Government Pensions and Benefits 00:24:14 Housing Market in Embassy Areas 00:25:31 Illinois Teacher Pension Crisis 00:27:13 Plan B for Expats
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started When you're finally living down here in Latin America as an expat every once in a while after your Spanish gets halfway decent After you hit maybe a six or seven out of ten when you actually start picking out words and phrases from people walking down the street
[00:47] In elevators and sitting in cafes and bus stops and things Soon enough after you catch on you start to realize that Latin Americans are just full of superstitions And I guess it comes from the fact that there are more than 300 indigenous tribes in Latin America And each of them was isolated for a long long time and develop their own sets of superstitions and now that the world is connected and modernized and These tribes have been pulled dragging and screaming into the 20th century. You know what I said 20th century here Not the 21st that'll take some time yet. That said all those various tribal Superstitions are now being mished and mashed together None of them falling by the wayside and new ones appearing every day and even more so now that we've got Halloween here in Latin America now
[01:33] I know this show is coming about two weeks after Halloween But note only in the past maybe three or four years has Halloween hit Latin America in a big way I'm telling you 20 years ago 10 years ago even five years ago There never was that coverage the media the decorations or the build-up But now you see all the local Newscasters and weather people in the sports guys all dressed up in costume doing their spiel on TV and a few years ago You never saw that anyway that said again. It's all about the fact that everything gringo is cool So then do Latin kids go trick-or-treating? Yes in protected neighborhoods Guarded subdivisions and such even in the lower middle class and poor neighborhoods kids will dress up and go to certain
[02:19] Neighbors houses with their parents tagging along, but you'll find as for candy and treats and stuff You'll only find that folks in the upper middle class and wealthy neighborhoods actually give out the usual candy treats I understand that in middle class neighborhoods a lot of times the kids will show up at the door Everyone will smile and laugh and throw out a few compliments yet The people answering the door will not hand out any treats because they don't know the full extent of the tradition They know people dress up that day, etc But the old North American trick-or-treat cliche is not well understood down here So when you're driving through neighborhoods You'll see no soaked windows or toilet paper trees or raw eggs splattered on someone's front door There's none of that going on because the concept of the trick or treat hasn't quite been disseminated down here yet
[03:08] So again, there's that first-world lag time But I suppose in a couple of years the day after Halloween you will start seeing some remnants of the tricks when there were no treats Oh, and by the way expat Eddie and I were gonna hit the Halloween party scene as Mormons But it'll have to wait till next year because Eddie had a little bit of a domestic emergency This last week seems the day before Halloween he woke up and walked out to his backyard He noticed it wasn't any water at all in his pool Turns out it developed a fatal crack overnight And at first he was quick to blame the contractor who put the thing in about three or four years ago But after talking to his gardener and maintenance man and a few people in the neighborhood He realized it's because of those repeated tiny little earthquakes most of which you never even feel
[03:56] So know that the subsurface in Latin America is always shifting slightly little by little and eventually you start seeing the effects So if you have a swimming pool down here do keep an eye on it Do drain the water and do an inspection a couple times a year Remember most backyard pools contain 20,000 gallons of water or more that's 70 to 100 tons sloshing around day and night and because most of Latin America is Seismically active pools are subject to hairline cracks and fissures that you see in most buildings down here, too Like I said in past shows, I've built about 13 plus structures down here houses and office buildings, etc And I have to say after a few years every last one of them has developed a crack or two here or there
[04:46] Usually very fine hairline cracks But it's always due to these tiny little earthquakes that are always going on In fact, I've spoken to an expat gringle friend of mine who has been down here a long time a geologist And he said if you were to look at a seismograph that's continuously recording It'd be shocked to see that on a usual day There could be up to a hundred tiny earthquakes at any particular spot in Latin America And that's not just a hundred little earthquakes throughout Latin America. That's in one particular spot For example a spot like Managua Nicaragua on any given day There are hundreds of tremors there mostly under two on the Richter scale and note basically only one in about a hundred people can faintly detect a two-point tremor on the Richter scale and
[05:34] Almost no one can detect a one-point or less unless you're a shaman or a dolphin or a dog and occasionally every month or so I'll notice myself what turns out to be a three or a three and a half on the Richter scale It's just enough so that you slightly feel it or think you feel it and you question it later and say hey Wait a minute was that a tremor or just too much espresso? Then you had checked the paper or the internet next day to figure out if it was a tiny one in your neighborhood or a big One in someone else's 400 miles away Anyway, you get enough of those small one and two pointers over the years most concrete buildings Developed little hairline cracks in them now I'm not saying every concrete or concrete block walls gonna develop hairline cracks
[06:20] But I've yet to see a concrete structure in Latin America That doesn't have a few here and there and most often you see him show up in joint seams or somewhere on a ceiling And usually they're so fine that even a coat of paint will cover them up nicely then of course after a while They'll open up slightly again But remember I'm talking about hairline cracks so small that you can't really see them till you get up close Nothing to worry about though except like I said if you've got a built-in swimming pool Like expat Eddie has like I said in his case he woke up the day before Halloween and voila No water in the pool and no one had pulled the drain plug and then of course upon inspection He noticed a crack about three-quarters of an inch wide along the bottom and halfway up the side
[07:06] So naturally Eddie called the pool guy his crew came rambling in about four hours later They chipped away at the edges of the crack took a few measurements and came up with a figure of around 1,500 bucks u.s. To repair the thing now of course Eddie was figuring on a price of maybe two or three hundred bucks because all You do is dig out around the crack and reinforce it and repaint it That's how he figured he would have done it that is until the main guy in charge of his boys said to Eddie Your pool was filled a couple days ago, right and now it's empty What do you think that 20,000 gallons of water went? There's some kind of fissure or void or airspace in your backyard somewhere We got to find it and fill it or your pool will keep shifting and it'll happen again
[07:52] So anyway get this the next day Halloween four guys came over with pickaxe and shovels pretty much Slicing his pool in half then they dug around the crack for about four days Did all the new fill work and concrete repairs and they'll be back again in a couple weeks after the concrete cures Put the final outer finish on it. So think about it There were four men on the job eight hours a day for four days digging up pretty much as whole backyard in the end The workers put in about 150 man hours Like I said, the total cost of the project is about fifteen hundred dollars u.s With 600 bucks of that being the material cost the concrete, etc That means the total labor cost was nine hundred. So then dividing nine hundred bucks by 150 man hours
[08:40] Eddie was paying those workers a whopping six bucks an hour Which seems an awful lot since down here the average unskilled grunt worker gets about a buck fifty an hour Now the pool company is only paying the workers the normal slightly over minimum wage about a buck fifty an hour Which means the pool company made off with about six hundred seventy five dollars profit Now if that seems high to you considering it's Latin America think about this Eddie did check prices up in the States and he was quoted for a similar job up there between six and ten thousand bucks Remember Eddie's cost here was fifteen hundred But back to the main point about these tiny earthquakes that are happening all the time Tremors or as I call them in Spanish here temblores now just to set your mind at ease a bit when you do see on the news and maybe even in person a
[09:31] Building that's crumbled because of an earthquake Note that nearly in every case. It's because the building hasn't been built to earthquake standards or it's an older adobe style building Or it's a building that has been built to proper seismic standards Except it's on the side of a mountain or a hill in a precarious position Because remember there is no such commission or review board That's gonna stop you from building your house on the side of a mountain or on a precarious ledge Because you see once you have your building plans approved by a registered architect in the country that you're building that's it you pay for your permit and you're off to the races and That's why you see houses occasionally million-dollar houses sliding off hills and falling off cliffs
[10:17] So in effect you can build in a floodplain or on the edge of a cliff. It doesn't matter so in effect you can be a careless moronic idiot and no one will stop you as long as you own the property and You know that up in the states insurance companies won't ensure you if you have build in a floodplain for example Not a problem down here people don't get homeowners insurance remember But also note that nine out of ten times when you see a house fall off a cliff for example It's not from those multiple tiny earthquakes It's because of the excessive rain during that rainy season now poor folks can be excused for building haphazardly on steep hills and valleys basically worthless land that they've squatted on They've got to live somewhere and since the lands worthless nobody cares and the rich folks like to build their million-dollar
[11:07] Mansions on precarious property that has a fantastic view in any case It's the poor guy you feel sorry for though I have to admit that some of us expats feel a certain guilty pleasure when a rich guy's house ends up in the river Dumbasses, so when you see spectacular collapses like that in the news and in the media Don't think by any means that's gonna happen to you if you build or buy a place down here Just don't be an idiot and you know wealthy idiots are everywhere Look at how many houses of the wealthy collapse off their precarious purchase every year in the states You see that in the news all the time too, don't you but where was I oh yeah? I was talking about certain superstitions you find throughout Latin America, and here's a couple more for you now It turns out when a Latin guy or girl first start going together. You know dating
[11:55] There's a test that the girl can and usually does perform on the guy Sometimes without him knowing it you see she'll try to tickle the guy under his armpits say what? Well Latin rumor has it the more ticklish a guy is under his armpits The more jealous he is by nature in other words if he doesn't tickle much Then he isn't the jealous type and if he's very ticklish. He'll be the insanely jealous type So then you might wonder just how ticklish Latin men really are. I think you know the answer to that one and Here's another superstition. That's quite pervasive Latins think that if their right palm starts itching for any reason that means they're gonna come into some money and if their
[12:41] Left palm starts itching that means they're gonna soon get taken or gonna lose money somehow And here's the final Latin old wives tale for the day if a woman's pregnant The way Latin women think they can tell if it's gonna be a boy or a girl They pull a long hair out of the woman's head run it hard across the edge of their fingernail And if it curls up like a curly cue it's gonna be a boy and if it remains pretty straight It's gonna be a girl which of course is a hundred percent BS But they believe it so let them have their fun, and don't be a killjoy gringo But let's change gears now and get a bit more serious now a lot of people wonder and they send me emails about it, too How much influence the US has in various Latin countries?
[13:26] Well, it's easy to see the US has tons of influence in places like Costa Rica and Panama Where there are gringos everywhere and that's a lot of gringo money, and then there's Columbia, too Where the long arm of Uncle Sam meaning of course you are? Supporting that long-lost drug war with plenty of us-backed boots on the ground in fact if you're down in any big Colombian city You might just spot or even run into personally what you might call US auxiliaries or military types and they're quite unmistakable because you know these days US military and military auxiliary types are so physically fit they all look like no neck muscle bound pro wrestler types as Compared to the regular Colombian troops who are more on the order of 140 pound 5 foot 5 welterweight types
[14:19] I mean it really is that I've seen it myself a bunch of Dolph Lundgren expendable types You know US military or alphabet agency And if you don't believe it just go to one of those expat bars in any big Latin American city You know the ones I advise you keep away from and note if you stick around long enough You're bound to run into one or two of these guys, and if they speak a little Spanish It's with a very bad gringo accent So then what are all these guys doing down here in Latin America who knows who wants to know? And though they may not exactly be working directly for the US military They wouldn't be down in Salvador Panama Honduras or wherever and of course Columbia If they weren't hooked up with some kind of US alphabet agency And you know the biggest joke of all is this agency called USAID you might have heard about it
[15:10] That's USAID which seems like a benevolent nonprofit agency when in actuality all it is is a CIA front In fact all over Latin America in any major city You'll see those us aid signs with a white background in red and blue letters all over the place Note that in every big Latin City There'll be a USAID building behind some very fortified walls in fact almost all of these USAID buildings Take up more than a city block and note the letters in USAID stand for United States Agency for International development yeah, right which again is total BS. It's just a CIA and US alphabet agency front Come on you guys every long-term expat down here with two neurons firing knows that and get this here's their official
[16:02] bogus BS mission Here's their so-called mission statement. It says USAID is the United States federal government agency Primarily responsible for administering civilian foreign aid Responding to President Obama's pledge in his January 2013 State of the Union address He said USAID's purpose is quote to join with our allies to Eradicate extreme poverty in the next two decades unquote, and then he says USAID has adopted as its mission to partner and end extreme poverty and promote resilient democratic societies while advancing the security and prosperity of the United States Hmm. How's that working for you Obama and it says here USAID operates in Africa Asia Europe and Latin America
[16:56] So just know that however noble you think that mission statement is it's all BS Why don't you just park a car in front of the next USAID building you see down here in Latin America and watch all the Military types come and go and all the blacked out windowed SUVs zipping in and out of the place with their bodyguards all with diplomatic and odd-looking license plates Plates that don't appear on your average cars down here in Latin America. That's where all those muscle-brained the US Auxiliary Dolph Lundgren types hang out not to mention There's always a couple of armed guards at the entrance One by the way if you're ever out and about down here and you end up running into one of these expendable type guys They'll never tell you what they're really down here for
[17:41] Now I'm not saying USAID does no good at all They do hand out freebies and care packages when there's an earthquake or there's a hurricane or whatever But that's just a cover for what they really do. You don't have to believe me Just go ahead and look it up put USAID CIA front in your search box and you'll see what I mean For example, just check out the USAID building in Guatemala City It takes up about five city blocks for one thing and you really can't tell what it looks like because the walls are about 15 feet high and there's guards and surveillance cameras everywhere. Yeah, right That's just to kind of set up your need when you're handing out free bags of rice and beans to the poor, right? Oh, and by the way for all you expat gonna bees and wannabes that are looking for quick employment
[18:30] Opportunities down here in Latin America. You can sell your soul to the devil and work at USAID I mean it if you've got certain credentials and no scruples and no shame you could qualify They're looking to hire all the time what I mean by that is all you have to do is come down here to Latin America to any big city and Pick up one of the big daily newspapers the one with the thick Classified one ads and job sections and you'll see that USAID is always looking for help I mean with buildings often sitting on spaces bigger than city blocks They have a hell of a lot of people working for them So they're always looking for administrator types and specialists of one kind or another I've personally seen them advertise in the paper for psychologists sociologists archaeologists
[19:18] Security people you name it they advertise for it and at least half the time those ads are in English However, they spell out that you have to be bilingual to a certain degree Meaning your Spanish should be at least 60% So yes, you can buy Latin standards get high paying jobs down here at CIA fronts like USAID USAID not to mention you could get a job at your own US Embassy the consulate in Latin America There is a US consulate in every capital city in Latin America Not to mention a lot of the very large cities that aren't capital cities have consulates to US Consulates are always placing help wanted ads in the local papers. You see them all the time So that's always an option if you're willing to suck off the US government tit down here
[20:04] But do note if you get a job like that with a US consulate You'll be working with a bunch of brown nosing parasitic ass wipes And I do say that with all due respect, you know It's just a smaller version of government up in the states and I don't know about you But that's exactly one of the reasons I left the United States. So I don't have to be around those kind of people But that's just me anyway Just to let you know you can come down here to latin america and become part of the problem again by working for the US government And you know when you meet people like that who work for the US government down here at parties or events and such To tell you the truth. They're just cogs in a bloated collapsing system and they don't even know it They're in total denial. Obviously, you don't want to have discussions with them about government or anything
[20:49] You and I might talk about on this show and you know expat eddie gave me a good analogy once he said Back in his hometown in texas. There was a factory that had government contracts to assemble detonators for explosives Used by the us military and sold abroad to other foreign militaries And eddie said everyone in the county wanted to work at this place because they paid well and had great benefits and a lot of overtime Of course more overtime meant more detonators for more explosives for more bombs But to them the workers all it meant was a new pickup truck or a better flat screen tv And as eddie said no one he ever knew that work there could connect the dots They weren't even to the denial stage. They just wanted more overtime
[21:35] Now speaking of working for the us government down here in latin america Here's a story that's gonna piss you off the story that I heard second hand and I had to verify myself I had to actually meet this person so as to make sure it was on the level so at the risk of offending all you government employees and ex-government employees up in the states And irritating everyone else in the process Let me set the stage for you and this by the way is why you absolutely need a plan b All flow charted out and on standby before the obama hits the fan Okay Down here in a big city in latin america I just happened to meet an american guy an expat who you just might think is the luckiest guy in the world But believe me there are tens if not hundreds of thousands of guys just like him He started out as a cop in a new england police force put in his 20 years got out with a pension of 75 grand a year
[22:28] Then still being in his early 40s broad and still young he applied for a job as a us air marshal Then after putting in the requisite amount of time there to get another pension He walked out of there with another 75 grand government pension on top of the first one now He's got 150 000 bucks a year then still being quite young He applied for a security job at a us consulate overseas down here in latin america And he told me by the way all he really is is a glorified security guard And he told me on the qt he really only puts in about four hours a day though. He's checked in for eight typical government slug, huh And for that he gets paid about 75 grand a year
[23:14] And he said when he gets enough time and he'll get a third government pension for around 80 grand So what's that work out to in pensions close to a quarter of a million bucks a year, right? But that's not all because his wife's up in the states and doesn't want to come down He gets another 15 grand a year for her and he's got two kids that don't want to come down So he gets another five grand apiece for them And get this he gets a free trip back to the states twice a year Or the wife and kids can come down and visit twice a year here on your dime, of course But that's not all down here in latin america. He gets a $4,000 a month housing allowance and why that ridiculous amount of money a king's ransom down here
[23:59] Well, of course that's because consulate and embassy employees have to live in a very high rent section of town a designated area near embassy row where all the other embassies are located the british the french the german etc And that's where all the other embassies force their employees to live too So here in these tiny few blocks, you've got a totally artificial rarefied balloon of a market Way out of whack compared to the rents in other good parts of the city farther away They pay four thousand a month for something that might go for 800 in another part of town Meaning all you expats and expat wannabes. You don't want to look for housing anywhere close to what we call embassy row But that's not the point. The point here is
[24:44] There are untold numbers of ex-us government workers getting tremendous pensions multiple pensions like this guy who I met personally and when regular normal americans who have real jobs Who make real products and provide real services hear about this kind of stuff? It drives them baddie not to say that we're all so lofty minded that we wouldn't dip into that trough ourselves if we had the opportunity I mean, what are you gonna do if you're qualified turn it down? I don't think so and for all you government or ex-government workers out there who say no you're wrong johnny What you're talking about is a really fringe oddball case. It's not normal Well for those of you in denial who are thinking like that
[25:30] I have this for you My mother sent me this from illinois and the title of the article is why illinois is bankrupt the article starts by saying today 6 000 retired illinois teachers from the public school system are collecting at least 100 000 a year in pension money Then it says after just 20 months of retirement the average illinois teacher breaks even with his entire lifetime working contribution amount It says the average illinois teacher that stays in the illinois teaching system for their full career If they live a normal lifespan will retire with an average 2 million dollar per teacher payout
[26:17] And finally it says by 2029 If drastic changes are not implemented shortly the illinois teacher's fund will be entirely broke So anyway, all you folks up there in minneapolis darian madison and cleveland If you're in denial about what's happening in your abomination, that's your problem But you other guys and gals who are clued in well, you need that plan b You just can't dial 911 when hillary hits the fan You have to have a way out which brings us to a very good way to work on that plan b Just come on down to my january 2015 expat wisdom seminar in latin america It gets underway in two months. However, it's more than half filled now So don't wait too long to sign on just go to
[27:03] www expat wisdom.com And click on the latin seminar link Like I said, if you haven't got a well-designed plan b when the hillary hits the fan Just come down to my six day boots on the ground seminar and we'll work one out for you Oh, yeah one last thing about that three pension government worker He told me that from his first job the police job. He gets a 1.2 million dollar cash payout whenever he wants Makes you just want to scream, doesn't it? You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com And don't forget to check out expat wisdom.com to sign up for your free reports on latin america
[27:53] See you next time. Nos vemos Foreign