#407 – The Expat Files: Pension Abuse, Cultural Insights, and Venezuela’s Economic Crisis

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wander Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here So let's get started now you might remember on the last show I talked about how certain lazy-ass government employees are double even triple dipping on pension funds To the tune of well over a hundred grand a year now I know it's completely legal of course

[00:46] but sadly it completely uncovers the underbelly of a very twisted and Deteriorating state of affairs up where you live and you have to wonder how much longer could it last before the whole thing falls apart? And it will oh and by the way as you probably noticed my voice is a little bit shot today But don't worry I'll slog on as usual since I've got nothing else to do except to watch the coffee pickers on the other side of The river and watch a pair of toucans fight it out over an avocado that just fell on the ground and split wide open Yep, such serious things seem to fill your day when you're down here living the life of an expat Anyway after last week's show talking about those double and triple dippers in government I did get a couple of emails from people saying stories like that put a bad spin on government workers

[01:32] Naturally those emails came from government workers But I also got an email from another Illinois teacher who sent me this link Which should interest you and all you non-believers out there and here's the headline in Illinois Substitute teachers for one day can reap nearly one million dollars in taxpayer funded Pension money say what well, let me paraphrase this disgusting development for you It starts out by saying even though the Illinois governor and the Illinois Congress took credit for stopping Pension abuses in late 2011 through January 2012 with new legislation aimed at stopping massive teacher and state government worker pension abuse Nevertheless just a few weeks ago

[02:19] investigative reporters uncovered a long list of retirees Belonging to the Illinois Federation of teachers receiving life expectancy payout pensions of well over a million bucks each Now get this according to the Washington Times over 40 that's for zero Private sector union leaders from the National Education Association of Illinois took home more than five million dollars each in teachers pensions Okay, come on for all you guys and gals out there who say unions suck Well, then I guess you never worked for one. Anyway, the article goes on to say Investigators have uncovered more than 24 teachers union employees that have already Collected more than a million dollars each in their retirement pensions

[03:06] Then the Washington Time article ends by saying sadly these kinds of pension abuses and other drains that cause Severe shortfalls in the pension system are by no means unique to the state of Illinois The fact is 40 of 50 states have severely underfunded teacher pension systems that will all hit dead ends Sometime within the next 10 to 15 years. Okay That's for all you non-believers out there who think things can just keep on going like they are and it's also for all you guys And gals up there who think it's just one-off cases of abuse or simply oddball criminal examples of fraud But note all of this is completely legal and funnier yet is an email I got from one guy who said when he hears stories like that

[03:53] It makes him cringe not because he's pissed off at the people or the government But that he couldn't get in on the gravy train himself He said he knows people personally who are sucking off the government pension trough hard and heavy He feels bad and slighted because as a retired government employee himself He was working in the wrong state to cash in like that so I guess the bottom line is all you guys and gals up there and Cleveland and Boston and Schenectady if you're expecting some kind of pension big small fat thin or otherwise deep down You just have to know it's all gonna end pretty soon That's not to say you're not gonna get some kind of a payout, but you're gonna get your pension slashed It's gotta happen unless of course inflation really takes off and then you'll get your pension But it won't buy crap

[04:39] And if all you've got to bank on is a measly social security or disability check You might start by buying a case of cat food to see if it really does taste like tuna, which makes plan B Moving to Latin America look better all the time now, doesn't it? But you know no matter how many times I mentioned to you guys and gals up there that you can live a completely Normal first world life down here on that measly social security check. You really have to see it to believe it That's why while you still have time you should signed up for my January 2015 expat wisdom boots on the ground seminar That's six days and nights in and around Guatemala And if there's one thing I can promise is that when you get down here You're gonna meet some expats who've been living on those social security checks, and you'll see they live completely

[05:30] First-world lives they lack for nothing and some believe it or not are actually able to put away a couple hundred bucks a month For a rainy day and note that because every day we'll have boots on the ground and we'll be meeting a lot of people You'll be able to get those expat stories from the horse's mouth not from some article or blog on the internet So just go to www.expatwisdom.com click on the Latin seminar link for full details and note We're just about two months from liftoff and we're over half filled already meaning don't sit on the fence and procrastinate too long You won't want to miss this enough said about that now if you've been down here in Latin America as long as I have soon enough You'll note the obvious temperamental and personality differences between expats and local ends

[06:20] Even with upscale adult Latins who try their damnedest to copy everything gringo they possibly can Still as much as they try to copy us They will never quite capture the essence of being gringo nor can we capture the essence of being Latin now Of course, you've heard that the polls always say that Latins are happier than first world people sure That's true But it's never more stark nor brought more close to home than when you see a new expat come down with all his first world ticks and stresses and anxieties I'm not saying we're bouncing off the walls or anything though. Some of us are it's just that there's a huge contrast between the way We view the world and the way Latin people view it and that also includes the way Latins handle certain personal situations versus the way we would handle them

[07:08] You could say as expanded he says the average Latin is just born easy-going Which might sound like an oversimplification, but it really says a lot I mean just look at that pervasive Latin problem. At least we call it a problem of Manana time but to them it's no problem at all In fact, we a screen goes are the ones that gave it that term manana time to them It's just whenever you get there or whenever you get to doing something now Every gringo and expat you run into down here will tell you it's a business gaffe very much a negative and a bad first impression To show up late for a meeting or appointment or an event or make promises or deadlines that you can't keep Professionally or otherwise, for example, if a gringo or an expat says he'll call you later today around four or five o'clock

[07:59] That'll usually happen But if a Latin person says the same thing Don't count on it and believe me It doesn't matter if the Latin that makes that promise lives in a tin shack with a dirt floor or Has a million dollar house with three gardeners and two bodyguards. They're both just as likely to be working on manana time So here's the thing if a gringo or expat fails to make that four o'clock call that he promised to make When he or she realizes it there'll be some stress involved some consternation Apologies, maybe and a general feeling of loops. I screwed up won't let that happen again Let's just say when it has to do with business. Anyway, it's a bump in the social road that it'll have to be smoothed out somehow

[08:44] However, if a Latin person even a Latin business person promises to call it for and doesn't call you at all next time you meet that person or talk to them for him or her there'll be no stress or bump in the road that needs to Be smooth and just as an aside here one of the biggest reasons why so much of that manana thing happens Is that Latins do not write things down now? I don't know about you, but ever since I was a dumb young kid I would carry a pencil and a notebook around with me nothing exotic Just a tiny little address book that my mother forced me to use and I'm forever grateful for her Instilling that habit in me now The fact is most first-world people will write things down on receipts on the back of their hand on pieces of toilet paper

[09:30] And napkins, but they will write things down. Wait a minute. I take that back. That's old school Now everybody just puts it in their smartphone, right? Well, I still write things down. I guess I'm a dinosaur Anyway, now we all know that up in the States. There are only two situations where manana time prevails We don't like it, but there's nothing we can do about it. Can you guess what they are? Well one of course is when you go for a doctor's appointment If you're not the first one there in the morning or right after lunch You know you've been there and the other of course is if you have to do anything That involves the government like going to the Social Security office or the license bureau or the VA or the unemployment office Etc. Etc. In fact, you just know if you have to deal with government or government offices in any way

[10:18] It's gonna be a day in the crapper. Now, even though up in the States most things might go rather smoothly Except for those two unavoidable situations. I just mentioned we still get all uptight and generate all kind of stresses for ourselves just doing the things we usually do like for example driving to work or shopping and Because we believe our lives are so complicated Really, we've done it to ourselves and to deal with all that we need or think we need shrinks and prescription drugs Self-help books yoga Tai Chi Deepak Chopra fat-ass Oprah and Dr Oz not to mention sex booze illegal drugs and rock and roll and still we just don't seem to be very good at conquering stress Where as for Latins their stress is so dialed down it barely registers now

[11:06] That's not to say that occasionally you don't meet a wired up kind of stressed out Latin person In fact occasionally when you do meet a person like that He's often in management or has his own company because people who are a bit wired and stressed like that are generally overachievers And as you probably know those are the traits you often find with successful first world business people now Of course those people might not be very pleasant to be around Still people like that are very handy to have when you're organizing and putting together a business So down here in Latin America if you do happen to run into a Latin person that has some of those traits What you'll often find is that when you make a plan have a date or have a meeting with a person like that They'll go out of their way to tell you look I'm not like other Latin people when I say I'm gonna do something

[11:54] I'm gonna do it when I say I'm gonna be there at 3 o'clock I'll be at 3 o'clock and if I tell you I'm gonna call you at 5 I'll call you at 5 which you know is music to the ears of us gringos However, what I've learned from all my years down here is that when a Latin person lays that on you It's mostly bluster because you're a gringo that he wants to impress because you see He's smart enough to know that us gringos and expats put a lot of value on being organized and timely So when a guy comes on strong like that, it leaves a very good impression with us In other words a guy like that's smart enough to know how to set the hook But let me tell you don't be fooled by all that first world style bluster Because 90% of the time people like that who really make a good first impression

[12:40] Will disappoint you it won't be long before they too are late for meetings and forget to call Deja vu all over again, just know that even with guys and gals like that you'll have to spell out the tasks Yep, that means write everything down or things just won't get done to your satisfaction As harsh as this sounds Latins as a society are not very creative I could give you a million reasons why but I've only got so much time, but I will give you one It has everything to do with the fact that when Latin kids attend school It's all about memorization and pleasing the teacher Schools here do not intend to turn out creative little individuals But to turn out obedient little worker bees to work in the factories and the Makilas, etc

[13:26] You know the upside to all that is that once they've been around you for a long enough time and see what you expect They learn fast. They're smart. They'll soon enough understand the first world style of doing things And often the result is that you will have whipped them into very good first world style employees Now that said I'm not saying you'll be able to turn on that creativity gene or even find it wherever that is Then again, I know a lot of people up in the states that don't seem to have one either Including some members of my own family. I mean, what's it that sociologists say 5% of people are born leaders 80% of people are born followers and the rest are flunkies working in that oozing Colostomy bag we call government or maybe it was me that said that but I digress and

[14:14] One more thing about first world habits now do note that when you're down here You won't meet quite a few Latins who speak a bit of English ones that have been Deported as illegal aliens up in the states and many of those guys have had quite a few good first world habits whipped into Them since they were in the workforce up in the states for some time often years So if you're thinking about hiring a gal or a guy like that, here's some advice for you Oh, I'm not saying they're gonna tell you they were up there illegally. They almost never do but you'll figure it out Now know it along with some rudimentary street English That employee will be much easier to train and understand more of what you want out of him However, you'll have to balance that out with the fact that you're dealing with a person who likes to break laws or at least doesn't

[15:02] Mind-buck in the system over and over again. So right off the bat You'll be hiring a kind of rebellious type who will always have in the back of his or her mind To somehow by hook and crook sneak back into the States once again. And how do I know that? Well because over the years I've met dozens and dozens of deported illegal aliens Some of them quite nice people too And every last one of them has told me of their great dreams of returning back there someday In fact, some of them have been deported three and even four times so what that means is the wheels are always turning in their heads and they're always thinking of ways on how to get back there and Like one of these guys told me and I'll never forget what he said He said once you've had the taste of the good life in a place where even if you fail and you can't find a job

[15:51] There's this excellent thing They call a social safety net the foundation of which is called welfare and aid to dependent children and he said when you fail in the US you make more money on welfare than you'd ever make working a full-time job back in Your home country and in fact, he said you can not only support yourself up in the States on a welfare check That along with food stamps and heating assistance and all the other perks you get when you game the system up in the States You also have enough money to send back to support your family back home So who wouldn't want to take the risk and try to slip back in if he could and by the way I find that about nine out of ten people down here in Latin America that have been deported are males

[16:37] So you might ask why is that? Well, first off many more males than females will chance to take the trip knowing that it is dangerous Especially for women so right off the bat three out of four people sneaking into the States are male But more importantly once a female makes it up to the States She tends to live with a much lower profile than any male Latin that snuck in now I'm sure you know that Latin males are very macho and they can't shed that skin easily by just slipping into the States They have to go out with their friends and corrals and go drinking and partying and riding around with other macho Latin guys That's what young uneducated guys throughout the world like to do when they're not working They just hang out and party and therefore are much more likely to get picked up by the cops or immigration

[17:26] That said you'll find down here in Latin America There are many more deported males than females and to add to that You'll rarely find deported Latin females who've done the trip back and forth three or four times They don't get involved in that revolving door that so many Latin males do once they've been sent back They know what it's like and how terrible the trip can be for women and that's enough for them So just be forewarned that when a person applies for a job with you and speaks pretty good English if it's street English There's a very good chance that person's a deported illegal alien and you know what expat Eddie says and he's hired Hundreds of people for his businesses. He says if you want to complicate your life hire a couple of those now changing gears a bit Remember in last week's show I mentioned that Halloween's becoming a big thing down here

[18:15] But there is a leg time with the trick-or-treat business I mentioned people just aren't giving out treats yet They have no concept yet that tricks can be involved if you don't get a treat And I mentioned that it'll take some years before you see tricksters hanging toilet paper on trees anytime soon But like everything in the first world eventually even tricks and treats and toilet paper hanging will become commonplace down here Except in Venezuela where people would never do that because there are so many Shortages in basic items right now in fact they haven't got an extra row to hang on a tree And if they did it'd be gone by morning now You know I've been to Venezuela and many times I've spoken about the shortages that they have down there for the last couple years

[19:00] It's been shortages with just the basic items like toilet paper bread deodorant and soap meaning unless you've got a cold You don't want to be stuck in an elevator with too many sweaty Venezuelans So until now the shortages have been with your common items But all that has changed recently Especially in the light of the fact that oil prices have dipped 25% Costing Venezuela something like 70 million dollars a day and profits that said here's some news That's both amusing and a bit sad now I don't know if this little news item has gotten to you guys and gals up there in the first world But it's all over the papers and the media down here So allow me to translate and paraphrase from this article that really gives you an idea What's going on in the hearts and minds of the Venezuelan people?

[19:47] Okay, here goes it starts off by saying Venezuela is known for both its socialist economic policies and its beauty queens In fact Venezuela has produced more international beauty queens per capita by far than any other country in the world But now unfortunately the socialist policies of Venezuela have begun to affect the nation's women Right where it hurts in their penchant for beauty and vanity Famous the world over for their beauty and curves young Venezuelan women are thoroughly upset with President Maduro and his socialist policies Venezuela faces shortages and everything from toilet paper to bread and so far the people have adapted Though every week seems to bring more and different shortages until now the Venezuelan medical establishment has not suffered

[20:38] Though superficial on the surface in Venezuela at least breast implants and accompanying plastic surgeries are what you might call a very important Staple in many middle and upper middle class households and on the street Here's what average Venezuelan women are saying Daniela Holmes a 20-something Caracas native explains that breast implants have almost become a cultural rite of passage with our women She says it's our version of a bat mitzvah In Venezuela when a woman comes of age, she has a basic right to have breast implants At least that's what the majority of the population believes With a population of just over 30 million Venezuelans purchased 86,000 boob jobs last year

[21:25] According to the International Study on Aesthetic Cosmetic Procedures That's a much higher rate per capita than the US Considering that the average American family GDP is about $50,000 per person and Venezuela's about 12,000 it becomes clear that what Americans consider a luxury item Venezuelans consider a middle-class purchase if not a necessity Venezuelans they say are rightfully proud of their record of 21 international beauty pageant titles That's seven more than the next runner-up the US says Alexander Hildago a Venezuelan native who actually wrote a book called our national identity breast implants in Venezuela he says that the Miss Universe competition and such are like America's Super Bowl an

[22:15] Opportunity for Venezuela to show off what Venezuelans have on the world stage He says international glory is something Venezuelans do not taste except in one area Our beautiful pageant winning women in fact in Venezuela There's even a song called Miss Venezuela and as children Young girls and their friends grow up singing it and it's actually a theme song in many Venezuelan schools In fact, he says little girls in Venezuela grow up watching so many International beauty pageants that they all have memorized the theme songs And he says outsized breasts and butts play an outsized role in the Venezuelan national psyche Now the article goes on to say recent claims from plastic surgeons across Venezuela indicate it has become difficult

[23:07] to obtain safe FDA approved breast and butt implants currency controls making it very difficult for surgeons to buy the preferred and more expensive American and European implants, which they say are much safer than the cheaper Chinese made alternatives Which are starting to filter into the country according to one well-known Venezuelan plastic surgeon up to a few years ago A woman could get breast implants for around two thousand to twenty five hundred dollars using the better European and American made implants But he says over the last few months the price has more than doubled to over five thousand US dollars That is if you want the American or European implants Whereas the two thousand to twenty five hundred dollar price will get you the cheaper Chinese implants

[23:56] Which many Venezuelan plastic surgeons refused to deal with now, of course as usual when there's shortages black markets proliferate In fact more than a handful of Colombian nationals are doing time in Venezuelan prisons for Smuggling thousands of pairs of breast implants into the country from Colombia in fact one border cop says that practically every truck that comes across the Colombia Venezuelan border has some kind of hidden compartment and In regards to two of the guys that are in jail for smuggling implants according to one lawyer They probably could have gotten off with just a fine if the implants had been manufactured in Europe or Brazil other than the US Now the president of Venezuela to fend off his ever-falling popularity

[24:45] What with the ever-present shortages and the 60% annual inflation rate? President Maduro has just ordered a 15% hike in the minimum wage just a week after he gave the military a 45% wage increase knowing of course that he needs to maintain the support of the military To prevent street protests uprising and even a coup and to show you how ridiculously out of whack prices have become in Venezuela as if they weren't before if you came down with dollars and Went to the bank and exchanged them at the official government rate in a market You'd be paying the equivalent of twenty dollars a pound for carrots or tomatoes That's if they had carrots and tomatoes to sell and it would cost you about five thousand five hundred dollars for a thirty two inch

[25:35] Samsung flat-screen TV and get this it would cost you six hundred dollars for a pair of Levi's 501 genes how about this one Purina dog chow? Yep, they have it down here and actually have plants in Venezuela or at least they did so it's not even imported try it $300 for a 50 pound bag and for your slightly above average Adidas or Nike running shoe You're talking about twelve hundred dollars a pair and young ladies How about two hundred dollars for a Barbie doll? Try a hundred dollars a gallon for sure when Williams housepaint six bucks for a can of coca-cola 800 bucks for your average Goodyear tire. That's one tire a 150 bucks for a locally produced bath towel and finally about 20 bucks for a Big Mac now remember

[26:26] Those are the prices in dollars if you could even find this stuff which most of it you can't and that's if you're stupid Enough to go down to the bank and pay the government sanctioned rate for the Boulevard dollar exchange now last time I was down there some people would actually take dollars and give you about five times the official rate I'm talking about business people store owners, etc But now the government's got consumer hit squads teams of government soldiers that'll come in and bust you for taking dollars And you'll either get fined they'll close your business or throw you in jail So people are very leery to take dollars these days However, there are always gray and black market money changers on the street and they'll give you a five six or even seven times The government rate meaning the prices I just quoted you you can divide by five six or seven

[27:14] To get the actual price that astute Venezuelans pay when they have dollars in their hands So that means those Levi 501 jeans would run you about a hundred bucks or slightly less Still quite a ripoff when you can buy the real thing in many Latin countries for 20 or 25 bucks south of the border You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com and don't forget to check out expat wisdom calm to sign up for your free Reports on Latin America. See you next time. No swaymos She was a picture