#442 – The Expat Files: Nicaragua’s Canal, Costa Rica’s Expat Market, and Racing in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wander Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started So lately with Nicaragua all over the news concerning the canal, of course I've been speaking to people from Nicaragua that I know common people, you know middle-class people making anywhere from 200 to maybe

[00:45] 500 bucks a month You know what when I asked them what their desires are what they really want They don't want the canal their wants and needs are much much simpler clean water and better toilets I'm not kidding and the ones that have any foresight at all Think that the canal is eventually gonna turn their country into a Costa Rica and believe me Nicaraguan's don't much like Costa Rica. They've got a border with Costa Rica So they see all too well what can happen when development comes too fast Foreigners will flood in and they'll get rich and the common people will lose out just like Costa Rica prices will go up and There'll be more not less air water and environmental pollution not to mention more taxes and bigger more corrupt Cronyistic government that said those same Nicaragua's would secretly love to work for government since they pay twice as much as the same

[01:38] Kind of job in the private sector. So then everyone's a hypocrite, right? So anyway, just to give you a take on what the common people are thinking However, it's much different if you talk to anyone from Nicaragua Who's from the government or who has a business of any kind that's on the books that means paying taxes and registered They'll tell you the canal is the best thing that ever happened in Nicaragua Just like 30 years ago the people in northern Japan said the best thing that ever happened there was the building of Fukushima So then you might ask who's right as far as I can see none of them In fact, it's almost a sure bet that canals never gonna get built now Ex-pat Eddie who's been scouting out Nicaragua lately Figuring if the canal goes through there would be a lot of places along the route to stick a few of his little sushi

[02:23] Restaurants anyway when he came back from that tour just recently stopping along the way in Costa Rica boy Does he have stories to tell about Costa Rica? He said he stopped at a few clandestine casinos You know, they have those all over Latin America And of course a lot of legit casinos to you see him in some of the very big hotels And the difference is the legit casinos have big lights and signs all over the place and people handing out flyers Whereas the clandestine back door casinos, they're obscure places you hear about by word of mouth Usually located in someone's spacious apartment or nice house though They're not scruffy and dangerous like you might think they don't want to scam you or scare you They want you to come back and drop more dough And of course the reason why so many people prefer those back door casinos is because they get better odds

[03:12] They can do that because they're off the books pay no taxes and have little overhead And by the way, those back door so-called non legit casinos are almost always run by Asians Hmm. Anyway, Eddie said he recently made the rounds at the casinos in Nicaragua and Costa Rica and guess what? They're all giving anywhere from three to one to ten to one odds that canal will never get built That is actually finished and with real traffic going through now They all say it'll get built to some degree, but it'll never get finished So if you're a betting man or woman and really believe the positive pressure hearing about that canal How'd you like to get five or ten to one odds on that? Remember the smart money at the gambling casinos and elsewhere say it's never gonna get done

[03:58] So Eddie hearing all that is naturally off the idea of setting up any restaurants in Nicaragua Not based on anybody's positive ideas about the canal. Anyway, and speaking of Eddie, let me tell you what happened him in Costa Rica Now except for airport layovers in San Jose Eddie hasn't been wandering around Costa Rica Not boots on the ground anyway for about five or six years and because Eddie's no dummy. It should be no surprise to you He's got no restaurants in Costa Rica. He says way too many gringos Which means too much gringo competition, which usually means the slow kiss of death for anybody in the hospitality bar Restaurant or mom-and-pop hotel business exactly the kind of enterprises so many fresh green gringos want to put their money in

[04:46] Like Eddie says the only competition he wants is Latin competition In fact, he welcomes it since gringo organization and attention to detail blows Latin business competition out of the water So anyway, Eddie hadn't had boots on the ground in Costa Rica for five years or so And he decided to visit his old friend Jack who owned the beetle bar in downtown San Jose That's beetle bar as in the Beatles a theme bar In fact 20 something years ago when I was in Costa Rica, it was practically the only expat bar downtown San Jose So anyway, Eddie went to San Jose and was walking around by the Central Park looking for the beetle bar and it wasn't there anymore So by hook and crook he found out it got moved to Hakko Beach one of the surfer beaches in Costa Rica

[05:32] And since Eddie had a couple of meetings and he was stuck in Costa Rica for a few days He headed down to Hakko. That's JACO and sure enough. He found the beetle bar Of course, it was kind of run down and decrepit with the requisite tourist drunk surfers Washed out hippies and hookers that you see all over Costa Rica. Basically. Anyway, it was CD and it hit the skids Totally unlike the way the beetle bar was when it was located up in San Jose the capital Jack the Canadian owner had always kept the place in San Jose up to sort of first world standards back Then it was a gringo expat hanging place And he never let the blatant hooker crowd from the bars and clubs and hotels around the neighborhood sit around Scout the place out or just take up space now

[06:19] Here's what Eddie found out and let it be a lesson to anyone who's thinking of opening up a bar or restaurant on or near The gringo tourist trail and that goes for anywhere in Latin America It turns out some years ago when Jack set up this new bar on Hakko Beach It became the center of the Hakko nightlife It became a huge gringo pickup joint and not for just gringo guys either the gringo girls on vacation would come too It was just the local spot to be but mainly the local Costa Rican girls would come from miles around to hustle fresh tourist gringos out of drinks dinner and Real and pretend love connections. Anyway, the place was so hot with the tourists The owner Jack did exactly the right thing at the right time Which believe me few gringos ever do when they're making money hand over fist somehow

[07:07] They believe it's gonna last forever Anyway, he sold it at its peak to a group of undisclosed gringo investors who immediately decided to milk the place by Instituting an unheard of cover charge first four bucks then a few months later Six bucks at the door then ten then twelve bucks just to get in so then came the competition the gringo competition the stuff you don't want a new hotel called the Hotel Coquille opened up right nearby and suddenly the patrons were gone and Jack's investors defaulted on their contract and Jack took the property back and you know Eddie said that was Jack's first big mistake If you're gonna sell a bar, especially to a group of people who are investors

[07:53] They should be able to come up with at least 50% of the cash and Eddie says you never give them more than a year To pay off the remainder because so many bars and restaurants lose momentum after a year under new management Even if when you turn it over to them, it's going gangbusters. So anyway, they went bust and Jack got screwed He's got it back again, and he's trying to build it back up very difficult now that he's got that new gringo competition Anyway, and he said he walked in one day about two in the afternoon sat next to the bar and there was maybe 10 15 people in the place and about two stools down Set two beautiful young Costa Rican girls and a 40 ish kind of scruffy looking gringo Who was in real need of a shave and a haircut not to mention a little soap and water

[08:42] He obviously footing the bar bill this guy blabbering away in English as these two girls sucked down their expensive umbrella drinks Then as all gringo tourists usually do the guy looked at Eddie and said hey, where are you from dude? God I hate that word and Eddie always being cautious about saying anything personal to strangers He said Texas by way of Oklahoma and the guy said yeah, I lived in Texas for a while How long you here for sport and Eddie said one day's all just passing through I gotta be in Managua Nicaragua tomorrow Then the guy said well, come on over. I'll buy you a drink So that's how gringos bond in expat bars and become best of friends in about three minutes So for the next hour or so they talked and the guy bought the two girls more and more umbrella drinks

[09:30] then finally as girls do they slunk off to the bathroom as a pair and Then maybe five minutes later the guy's cell phone rang He answered it covered the mouthpiece turned to Eddie and whispered. Oops. It's the wife I'll be right back and he headed out the front door Then after another 10 minutes went by the bartender walked over a new bartender a different one a female Anyway, she handed Eddie the bill it was 86 bucks Then Eddie looked at the bill and he said no no mines 12 bucks The rest is theirs with that the bartender said they're gone and somebody's got to pay for this now Eddie's a calm guy. So he doesn't get mad when things like that happen. He just said nice and calmly Can we talk to Jack about this? She said Jack he's not around. He won't be back for four or five days

[10:20] So Eddie got to see the new relocated beetle bar, but never got to see his old buddy the owner Canadian Jack Then Eddie said I don't even know those people if they're regulars. They'll be back. They are regulars, aren't they? Then he said the woman bartender cracked a crooked smile and said how long you here for and he said well I gotta get out of here. I'm going to Managua tomorrow. Then she said did you by any chance tell them that he said yeah I guess small talk, you know Then she gave him that buddy. You just been scammed look in fact She said I'm surprised the gringo was in on it. Then again, maybe he wasn't who knows people run all kinds of scams This is Costa Rica, you know every new flock of gringos brings a new scam

[11:05] She said I watched the local girls do it all the time They sit around in here and any other the bars on the strip They have some nachos and nurse one drink then somewhere around midday The buses start coming into town with the newly landed gringos and they pick on the ones that are here for short stays Like you you're going to Managua tomorrow. Perfect Then the lady bartender said I bet you they asked if they could use your phone, right? Then Eddie said yeah Well, one of them said her battery was dead needed to make a call could she borrow mine? With that the bartender laughed and said yeah, that's a famous Costa Rican lady bar trick, too You know what they do they use your phone to call one of their girlfriends or their own phone now They have your number call their ID, you know So she said don't be surprised if you get a phone call tonight from one of those girls

[11:54] Apologizing for having to leave and wanting to meet you on the strip somewhere and you'll end up getting scammed again Or worse. Yeah, I'll bet you get a phone call tonight. Alright, you're probably get invited to a party So then you might ask why wasn't Eddie smart enough to see all this? Well, that's because he's been living off the gringo tourist trail for 12 13 14 years now and off the gringo trail, you just don't see that kind of stuff happening like Eddie says the girls are a thousand percent more humble and discreet and even timid that is Unless you make it a point of hanging around the bars and discos Then you're bound to run into the tainted type the party girls When by the way, Eddie said in that six or seven years since he's been to Costa Rica

[12:40] It's gotten much worse and in so many ways He says for one thing everywhere. There are a lot more scruffy dirt bag greasy kind of smelly Gringos who kind of went native the kind you meet at a bar or a beach or even at a park that are just a Little bit too anxious to be your friend They want something they want you to buy him a drink or they want your money or they want you would invest in some stupid scheme Or more often than not. He says they just wanna bomb a cigarette from you In fact, he said last time he was there six or seven years ago in one day He remembers getting hit up for cigarettes four different times from scruffy gringos. Yes, that's right Eddie's an on-and-off smoker Anyway, he's long since learned his lesson and now he implies a neat little trick

[13:26] He almost never carries a pack of cigarettes on him, but only one cigarette in his front pocket He said no cigarette smoker. No matter how desperate whatever bum what they think is your last smoke. I wouldn't know I'm not a smoker and I don't know smokers etiquette In fact, I didn't even know there was smokers etiquette for the down-and-out street gringo Anyway, not till Eddie filled me in on it Oh and by the way as far as the original beetle bar that used to be in San Jose so many years ago I may have mentioned in a show a long time ago one of my first shows I guess that Canadian Jack got tricked into buying the place as partners with a Costa Rican woman when he arrived many years ago And didn't know a lick of Spanish She sat him down with a lawyer and they both told him it was the law that he needed to have a Costa Rican partner

[14:11] Or couldn't have a business a total lie So Jack got the Costa Rican knife in the back some 30 years ago. Just imagine how sophisticated the scams are now That said I mentioned the fact that when you're off the gringo tourist trail the girls and the guys Are really much more friendly sincere likable and even humble unless of course you're the partying disco clubbing type Then you're gonna meet the wrong kind of people I can guarantee you that that said you might remember I mentioned in the past I was the host of many Latin American radio shows in English Anyway, my show format was usually like this I'd have two hours a day doing the morning and sometimes evening drive-by shows in those big Latin markets Just taking phone calls and playing songs, etc You know like in the states the usual shock jock stuff only down here

[15:00] Let's just do not get American humor, but that never stopped them from listening Why because it was considered oh so cool stylish and fashionable to listen to gringo radio now I only played one or two songs an hour. The rest was all fun and games I'll never forget one time I asked the audience this question. I said call me right now I'd like you to tell me what's one of the things in your past that you're most ashamed of call me now No names, please and I asked that question one day for ladies and I asked that question one day for guys Remember now since these were big markets way off the gringo tourist trail My callers were almost all upper middle class and upper class Latins who spoke pretty good But not great English and of course I had all the US Canadian British Australian New Zealand Embassy and military people listening to

[15:49] because well I was first world gringo radio for them now in talking about the people that would call into the show I'd say half My colors were wealthy people or children of the wealthy and the other half a much more interesting and diverse group These were Latins who had money but grew up poor or with very little coming from the lower middle class or middle classes Then later becoming self-made business people and it was these folks by far that had the most Interesting things to say for example when I asked ladies to call in and tell me their moment of shame I remember these three stories Specifically one lady called in and she said when she and her girlfriend were around nine or ten years old They were addicted to this soap opera coming out of Mexico and as usual the female Protagonists in soap opera were blonde and light-skinned the kind of lily white gringo

[16:39] Look that you just don't see down here in Latin America Except in the soap operas Anyway, she said her and her girlfriend wanted to be like the heroines in this soap opera so badly that they took a scouring pad and some chlorine bleach and they tried to scrub their own skin starting with their faces their cheeks to change their own natural brown Coffee colored skin to lily white kind of pull a Latin Michael Jackson She said it seemed to be working They scrubbed for a while until the skin got red and raw and really started hurting and now she said at the age of 28 When she called in she still has a little spot on her cheek about the size of a quarter That's not nearly the same texture or smoothness of the rest of her skin So she says every time she wakes up in the morning and goes to the mirror and puts on her makeup

[17:27] She's reminded how much of a dummy she was way back when then she said there's a moral to that story of course Anyone with a half a brain could figure out and speaking of personal shameful moments I had another phone call from a Latin lady who said when growing up She lived in a lower middle class kind of poor neighborhood. No car. No hot water. No washing machine So they all washed their clothes by hand in the outdoor basin known as a Pila Anyway, she said there were four kids in her family And she said the only time her and her brothers and sisters got new clothes was right before the new school year when the kids would go down with their parents to one of the big department stores and she'd get a skirt two blouses a

[18:13] Pair of slacks and some new shoes and she said at Christmas. That's when you'd get your underwear in your socks Anyway, she said the people next door who had an adjoining fence only had one kid and they were in the same boat They were lower middle class. However, the parents routinely bought new clothes for that one kid because well, they only had one girl So the caller said because she only had one skirt and one blouse, etc She had to wash her clothes every day when she came back from school every day and the rest of the kids did too So every day as she washed her clothes She'd look over the fence with envy and see the extended wardrobe of the little girl next door three or four pairs of pants Three or four skirts, etc. Hanging on the clothesline Now the little girl next door was very proud of the fact that she had more clothes than most kids in the neighborhood

[19:02] And she let them know it. She strutted her stuff So one day the caller said when no one was looking she was out washing her own clothes And she tossed some chlorine bleach over the fence and within a couple hours That little girl's wardrobe was trashed and she said the next day the mother took the crying little girl around the neighborhood knocking on doors Asking who did such a thing and all the neighborhood people when face-to-face with the crying child and mother They were duly outraged at least on the surface. But inside most had a good case of schweidenfreid It's a German word meaning secretly rejoicing in another person's misfortune So then you might wonder did the guilty party fess up? Nope She too appeared to be duly outraged and lives the lie to this day

[19:51] And when I asked her why she didn't admit it, even though she was 30 something when she called me about it She said because some years back the girl got married and had a kid and asked her to be the godmother And of course, she said yes, you don't turn a thing like that down. Oh the little secrets We keep huh and now for what I think is the saddest story of all This caller said she too grew up in a poor lower middle-class neighborhood Her dad had abandoned the family and she lived with her mom three kids and when she was about 14 years old the next-door neighbor Lady knocked on her door and gave her a little proposition She said that she was worried about her young daughter going to school and would like to pay her the next-door neighbor a dollar a Day to get on the bus every morning and take her little eight-year-old daughter to a school that was some miles away

[20:41] To make sure the little girl got off at the right place and got into the school safely And then ride the bus back to that school and two in the afternoon pick her up and bring her home safely Naturally, she didn't want her little eight-year-old daughter on a public bus alone So our caller made a deal with the neighbor lady to do this Every day the neighbor lady would give her bus fare and a dollar and she'd take her little daughter On the bus and drop her off the school and pick her up in the afternoon as planned kind of now Here's the unmentionable part every day when she'd take this little girl on the bus going to school She'd grab the little girl's lunch bag Undo her sandwich take out the meat and eat it The little girl always had meat in her sandwich as opposed to the caller who said she only had meat at her house

[21:31] Maybe once a week now she did this for an entire school year So naturally I asked her didn't the little girl tell her mom on you She said no because I told her if she ever mentioned it to her mom or dad or anyone I'd take her in the bus to the next town over and drop her off at the market where they steal little girls And they're never heard from again man. This girl was evil, huh? Anyway, she said that lasted a year for the next school term The little girl switched to a much closer school only about six blacks away and her mother would walk her there every day Then of course, I asked the caller what happened? Did she stay in contact with that family or that little girl and the caller said yes I lived there about three or four more years and met a guy and we got married moved away But some five years later she bumped into the little girl again

[22:21] Now the little girl was around 18 or 20 years old And the caller said she just didn't know what to say to the girl She tried to apologize, but she just couldn't then the little girl said you know It's because of you. I can never eat a sandwich with mayonnaise or lettuce or tomatoes on it again Because she said for that year when you took the meat out of my sandwiches By lunchtime all I had was soggy bread from the mayonnaise wilted lettuce and The tomato after that I just swore off of that stuff So those were just some of the stories that latin ladies would tell me Wow, some very tough comments on latin society, don't you think? Now don't worry I will make some space in a future show to tell you some Shameful stories that male latin listeners have called in about that said let's change gears a bit

[23:11] You know, I always talk about how there are so many business niches to fill down here in latin America You only got to come down get your boots on the ground and find one or two or ten And believe me some gringos come down here and really make it big on ideas that you would just laugh at up in the states For example, here's a brand new gringo idea that just might blow your mind a little Now I know up in the states a lot of people are into racing and stock cars and all that Well, you know in a small way they've got that stuff down here, too Every big and medium-sized city has a racing car track or two or three on the outskirts of the city Yes, they have legitimate car and motorcycle races every week So it's a hobby of the rich yet The average public comes out in droves to see it because they only have to pay about two or three bucks to get in

[23:57] It's a cheap afternoon at the races. So then what's that got to do with gringos in business? Well, get a load of this Just recently i've noticed full page ads in big city latin newspapers announcing that on race day at whatever particular racetrack You a member of the public can participate in a once in a lifetime thrill for a mere 150 us dollars you could take 10 laps around the track By yourself in a ferrari 458 or a lamborghini gallardo Now i'm sure you're thinking 150 bucks. Wow, what average latin american could ever come up with that though? Well get this They let you put it on a credit card or they'll work out a 10 month payment plan

[24:44] At 20 bucks a month. So if you don't have a credit card if you can come up with 25 bucks cash They'll do your credit work up right there and qualify you So yes folks the gringo advantage strikes again, who would have ever thought of that? Don't get me wrong I don't think this is an original idea. I think they're just copying somebody up in the states What i'm saying is is it took one smart gringo to pull it off down here in latin america? Now get this last sunday. I saw a bright yellow ferrari 458 parked on a trailer in front of an audi dealership next to a big sign that said Manejarme Which means drive me in spanish and of course, this was that ferrari 458 They were talking about that you could drive for 150 bucks

[25:30] So I asked the guy sitting alongside the trailer How many people pony up 150 bucks and actually drive that car on any given day? He says usually they get about a minimum of 20 people a day sometimes up to 50 And he said there are over 500 tracks in latin america and they stay Sometimes a couple of weekends at a time at each one. Actually. He said they've only been to about 20 tracks so far So there's two guys one gringo one latin and they're pulling in three to seven thousand bucks a day A couple of weekends a month. So then what about the ferrari and the lamborghini? Well, guess what? They're not new models. They're older not really worn out or tattered But you can tell they show their age then I said it looks like a great business But you're paying for full-page ads. That's got to cost a ton

[26:17] He said nope the credit card companies the autodrome the banks the local tv stations They all want to be our sponsors and they generally do all the advertising with this idea We really bring in the crowds then the gringo said this, you know, what hl. Menken said in 1924 No one ever went broke Underestimating the intelligence of the common people and if you think that's a little harsh remember Nearly everyone who drives that Ferrari puts it on the 10-month payment plan So that means for the next 10 months you're paying off that 10-minute ride One minute at a time and if you think the owners are taking a big risk that someone might crack up the car Well, one of the partners told me that everyone's gun shy and they drive way too slow

[27:05] Just the sound and the rumble of 450 horsepower scares the hell out of people All right before we finish I'd like to remind you that i'm gonna have another expat wisdom boots on the ground seminar in latin america in july 2015 So if you're interested in coming down with me and a small select group of like-minded people Email me at the expat files at gmail.com or johnny at expat wisdom.com I'll put you on the list and let you know about the early bird specials south of the border You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com And don't forget to check out expat wisdom.com to sign up for your free reports on latin america

[27:53] See you next time nos vemos