#445 – The Expat Files: Organizing in Latin America, Dental Care, and Expat Wisdom

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Okay, before we get rocking here today. I got a couple of messages now You all remember a few weeks ago when PRN was hacked in fact even the backups backup was hacked How's that for throwing a wrench and then a bomb and then another wrench into the works, huh?

[00:48] Anyway as PRN is still not up to speed and trying to rebuild their back catalog of old archive shows I'm under the impression that some of them a lot of them will be lost forever But they've got a lot of people working on it. So who knows in fact I'm looking right now at the PRN website and I see that the archives only go back to the beginning of this month I mean if for some reason there's a fatal flaw. That's years of archives lost Anyway, that's how it stands right now. If you try to go to PRN and go into the archives But luckily at our private website expat wisdom calm all my 540 something old shows that sounds terrible doesn't it old shows anyway past shows then We're heavily wrapped in tinfoil and stored in the freezer in my bomb shelter and better yet

[01:34] They're not in the states or in any first world country either. In fact, I have multiple backups on my past shows I mean, come on. I was an engineer in a past life, you know In fact, I remember my very first day at engineering school Orientation day and get this the Dean of the school got up and said all you students now Have a look at the guy sitting next to you There's less than a 40% chance that he's gonna graduate not an engineering. He won't he told us we had infinitely better odds of graduating in art drama sociology psych business and history and then he said this if you believe in mathematics and trust the odds There's the door you can walk out right now and switch majors which scared the crap out of us Of course, then he said the number one reason why the guy next to you probably won't graduate is

[02:24] Can you guess by the way? Time's up. He said the number one reason is lack of Organizational skills starting with the fact that most people don't take notes or take very incomplete ones In other words, they're naive enough to trust their own memories And then he said, you know I can walk into any one of your dorm rooms right now and you've been here like a week and I can look around in your closet under your bed on your bookshelves and tell pretty much who's gonna make it in who isn't Which scared the hell out of us too So we all ran back to the dorm room after that little lecture and filed everything nicely and spit shine the place Man, what a tough old bird. He was by the way the week we graduated as full-fledged engineers The forty seven point six percent who actually made it we put on a little graduation play and

[03:15] one of our more eccentric outgoing engineers dressed up like the Dean white lab smock and all and Sang that famous Frank Sinatra song my way with by the way All seven of George Carlin's seven unmentionable media words edited into the lyrics But you know that was then I think there's only two words you can't use now unless of course you're a rapper But I digress as usual man. Did I digress, huh? Though in this case there is a method to my digressional madness I have to say that one of the number one faults that Latin professionals have is that they just don't write things down And strictly speaking, it's not just with professionals. It's with every class of Latin society Are you one of those maybe hope not so I suggest if you're dealing with a bookkeeper a lawyer or an accountant here

[04:03] Make sure that before during and after a sit-down with these guys You take down some good notes yourself because I tell you they're bound to miss something I can't tell you how many times it's happened to me details details, huh For example, I can't tell you how many times I run into a gringo expat and I say hey How's that contractor that residency thing going whatever and the guy he'll say ah Don't ask I was supposed to be done with that three weeks ago But my lawyer or his runner or the accountant or bookkeeper Whatever dropped the ball somewhere along the way and forgot to file XYZ paper or didn't get a signature on this or missed Inofficial sticker or stamp on some other thing. It's all about the fact like expat Eddie says Latin businesses somehow get away with not having

[04:52] Operational handbooks or even employee handbooks and if they do they're a joke In fact one Latin professional who I've scolded many times about this. He told me one day very sincerely said Johnny You know, you're right. I just got to take better notes. I got to organize myself Then he went into his briefcase and pulled out the latest iPad or iPhone or I something then he cracked a huge grin He said this is gonna do it for me Then he started showing me on the screen all the ways you can organize yourself Etc with just a swipe in a sweep of the finger on that very cool touch pad. Yep He gave me that little demonstration about a year ago. Wouldn't you know it? I recently ran into the guy and he's just as disorganized as ever Then he showed me the newest version of that. I think whatever it was

[05:40] So technology is the crutch that Latin professionals lean on they think the latest gadgets gonna solve their organizational problems But it almost never does. Oh and by the way, unlike up in the first world You should never judge a professional guy or gal by how messy or clean his desk or office is Because remember down here almost everyone in business or every professional has a mate or two And if you've got a good one, they can make your office and your house look pretty impressive Though that doesn't mean the guy sitting behind the desk necessarily is and by the way Some people like expat Eddie say that because latin's even of minimal means by first world standards Anyway have maids and gardeners 24 7 that's one big reason why down here first impressions aren't what they're cracked up to be

[06:28] By the way here. I have to qualify professionals I'm not talking about medical professionals now because so many of them especially people who are in the specialties Have been first world trained or had first world Residencies that means they've had first world record-keeping habits drilled into them from the beginning from what I've seen Physicians and dentists and nurses and hospital types do keep very good records. So you don't have to worry about that Now speaking of the first world I have to mention that some of the most brilliant and effective people that I know have absolute cyclonic Disasters going on daily in their offices. I mean one engineer I know you go to his office and you have to wade through the half-eaten Sandwiches and happy meals and melted dilly bars just to find a place to sit down at your own risk

[07:16] And you don't wear white even so if I had a tech business, I'd hire this guy in a second Yes He's a gringo and by the way since I've known so many engineers who are very organized yet Very messy looking at first glance which extends to their offices desks and workstations, too That said after seeing so much of that up in the first world I'm always a bit leery when I walk into a professional anybody's office and see that it's just way too clean You know tiny stack of papers perfectly placed No, doodles or scribbles on the notepads three pens lined up next to the laptop evenly spaced and perfectly parallel Anyway, if you know anybody like that, you know, it's eminently safe to use the guy's bathroom. That's for sure You could eat off the floor and there will definitely be no errant pubes

[08:05] So your first impression a guy like that is anal However, if you see something like that down here in Latin America 10 to 1, it's the cleaning lady who's anal But where were we? Oh, yeah talking about the PRN radio station hack Anyway, after the PRN site got nailed we at expat wisdom calm experienced our own peculiarities Spam invasions suspicious activity, etc. Which is why we introduced those rather annoying daily passwords Yep, it was a pain in the Hillary All right But we knew it was only gonna be a temporary band-aid and we sorted it out now The new good news is that we now have a new site a membership site to log into on expat wisdom calm Yep, it's a membership site. All right, but it's free to join and you'll get all my shows from one easy location

[08:56] So if you go to expat wisdom calm Just click on the expat files tab then sign up for free as a member And you know everybody listening out there is sort of a member of a club We're all sort of a like-minded community and even though Groucho Marx once said I'd never want to join a club That would accept me as a member. There is something to that. You know, anyway, many of you I know out there are getting your ducks lined up You're thinking about this expat thing quite a bit. Aren't you? We're all just a little bit more aware of what's really happening up in the first world We see the disco ball cracking around the edges and we don't want to be under it when the glass falls Do we so like it or not? We're kind of a loose knit group of above average slightly eccentric slightly adventurous opinionated people. Am I right?

[09:46] So anyway, just go to expat wisdom calm and sign up today And after that you won't need any more additional passwords. That's it. Once you're in as a member you get access Oh, yes, and by the way, I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you about the gold membership option Now for some time Robert Culpepper and I Robert's the other guy on the expat wisdom site He's the European expat wisdom connection. Anyway, you know There's only so many hours in a busy person's day and there's even less if you're kind of retired If that's what you want to call living the good life down in Latin America and not having to go to a nine-to-five Anyway, we've been trying to figure out a way where I could be a little bit more available to people Some way to get more expat file information out there

[10:31] In fact a while back the management at PRN asked me if I'd like to do another show or two every week And I figured two is enough I didn't bite but you know I'm more than willing to make myself available if it was for example a question and answer or live thing As long as it didn't screw up my time or my schedule too much because you know I'm one of those guys that everybody thinks is kind of retired which means a 24-hour day just isn't enough, right? I know that some people think especially my friends and family up in Chicago that I sit around with my thumb up my Hillary All day long and that's just not true. Remember every man was born with two thumbs So anyway, Robert and I figured out a couple of ways where I can be a little bit more available Of course, it wouldn't be free, but it wouldn't cost a lot of money either

[11:17] So we came up with this gold membership plan if you're in the gold membership You get a lot of special things for very little money. And right now it's that the lowest price it'll ever be So what are the benefits number one looks like that once maybe even twice a month I'll do a live call-in group question and answer and you all can get on the phone with Robert moderating And we'll be able to talk about anything and everything having to do with expats in Latin America or even Europe Europe being Robert's specialty and of course we can discuss your own personal Situations and talk about things that I just can't mention on the air too many alphabet agencies listening, etc And speaking of a live group call-in we're gonna have our first one this Friday at 10 a.m. Central Standard Time

[12:04] Now at first we had it set up for Wednesday at 10 But the gods of pain struck and I have to go to the dentist now We may or may not record this first call-in So if you want to hear it, you got to sign up today or at least before Friday gold membership point number two You'll be able to download and listen in stream, etc My expat file shows about a week before they broadcast to the general public or on the big stations So unless I'm in Venezuela or Cuba where the internet really sucks or I've been kidnapped Ship director of thrown in the slammer, you know, everything's possible, right? That said barring those eventualities and natural disasters like volcanoes chronal mass ejections and tsunamis I should be able to get you those shows about a week early. So what else?

[12:52] Oh, yeah number three you'll get with the gold membership a hundred dollar voucher for my Latin American seminar or Robert's Barcelona Spain seminar by the way, his seminar is closing down any time now as he's only got three spots left But that's not all we'll be adding even more extras So just go to expat wisdom calm and click on the expat files tab or you can go directly to it Just go to members. That's M E M B E R S dot expat wisdom calm That's members with an s dot expat wisdom calm So with this new membership site We'll be adding new stuff all the time for both the basic and the gold members the first group of gold members though We'll be getting access to this and at the lowest price we'll ever be offering it

[13:37] So do check it out now that said, you know, I just mentioned I had a visit from the pain gods And I've got to go to the dentist. I just wanted to mention that my dentist by the way It took me years to find this guy. Well as it turns out He's become the dentist to many of my expat wisdom seminar people, too Okay, then let's talk about this guy for a minute First of all when you walk in his office It looks like any high-class first-world dental office with all the computerized gadgets and ultra clean and sanitary like you'd expect Oh, and by the way, it's in a large highly secure office building. In fact, it's security overkill if you ask me There's four steps actually first you go through a secure parking garage Then down the hall to a metal detector Like at the airport where you take out your keys and you're changing your phone and you put it in a little basket

[14:26] Etc. Then you go to a desk show them your ID. They give you a magnetic card You go to a turnstile you deposit the card in the turnstile slot then only then you're at the elevators I mean come on the Pope never had it so good In fact in all of Latin America except that airports and government buildings. I've never seen security like that Oh and like I mentioned that's one of the places you have to go up to a desk and give them an ID Document and then give you a magnetic card and you go to the turnstile, right? Then you're at the elevator and you press your floor now naturally I despise Security like that when they're tagging you and checking you out and filming you etc. So I recommend a little disinformation I suggest like I mentioned in the past show to carry slightly altered ID documents

[15:14] Nothing illegal about that. They're not the government. You know only well-dressed rent a cops in an upscale office building It's only right that if they're screwing with you you screw with them, but we were talking about the dentist, right? Now this particular guy graduated tops in his class, you know Latin American dental school And because he was one of the top guys he was recruited to go to a US medical Dental school to get a specialty degree. So while up there he became an oral surgeon Meanwhile when he graduated from his extra four years, I think it was up in the States He was asked to stay on at that US University as a teaching professor of oral surgery Which is unusual because normally if you're a Latin American medical professional oral surgeon nephrologist pulmonary specialist

[16:01] Whatever your visa runs out when you graduate with your specialty and you're supposed to go back down to Latin American practice I mean, that's the point of these exchange programs Well in his case, they thought so highly of them they asked him to stay on But he said no because his family lives down here in Latin America Oh, and by the way You got to know this guy's really on the same wavelength as most of us are in that he will not let his kids Watch television. He has no cable TV hookup in his house and his kids are teenagers Imagine what kind of grief they get at school, huh? And his kids are not on Facebook They do not have advanced smartphones And so he says when people say you mean you don't have TV and your kids aren't on Facebook Insinuating there's something wrong with him and his family other Latins and his social status

[16:49] Just shake their heads and say to him. I could never do that in my house. That would be cruel and unusual punishment To which I say have you seen TV lately talk about cruel and unusual punishment Well, as it turns out his kids have not poisoned him or gunned him down Neither did they come home one night dressed like Lady Gaga with newly pierced and tattooed eyelids noses and tongues Instead his kids adapted. You know what they do in their spare time. They read books They play musical instruments and they're involved heavily in after-school activities Especially the cultural and intellectual ones Wow, what an amazing development, huh? Anyway, my dentist happens to be an all-star English-speaking first world trained oral surgeon and dentist

[17:38] How do you like that at third world prices and guess what? He spends one day a week at one of these big crappy public hospitals and does free Cranial facial and cleft palate surgery on people who come in from the boonies and can't afford it and he brings all his own supplies How's that for a guy with a heart of gold? You don't meet many people like that in your life, you know That said obviously he does high-quality first world work. So what is he charged? Well, you could get yourself a crown in the States, you know a tooth cap for around fifteen hundred to two thousand dollars these days And what is he charged? Well, the last one I got a few months back. I think it was two or three hundred bucks Anyway, let's just say the range of fees for all dental procedures are about one fifth to one tenth of first world prices

[18:27] And this I think will blow your mind quite a few of my expat wisdom seminar attendees end up making quick Appointments when they come down here for the seminar to stay on a few days Just to get an opinion or a price or even to get some work done In fact quite a few of our expat wisdom people even before the seminar will send me emails saying can you hook me up with? A dentist. I really don't want to spend $16,000 at the dentist in New York. I want to see what I can get down here and if it's first world quality Strangely enough surprise surprise all the expat wisdom seminar people who end up living down here in Latin America Guess who their dentist is and if they live too far away or in a nearby latin country He has his own trusty network of dental buddies who measure up to his standards

[19:14] That means if you come down to an expat wisdom seminar If you have some dental problems or you want to have some estimates done You don't have to throw a dart at the phone book or take your chances in an expat bar Asking the nearest tipsy gringo where he gets his dental work done You can avoid all that trial and error because I'll set you up with him And of course, I get absolutely nothing out of this I get no kickback no fees or anything I just offer those special introductions so that the people that come down here can get a big head start on becoming an expat Now I wonder do you get those kind of perks at international living seminars? Sure you do. Yeah, right So anyway, all you expat gone to bees and wannabes up there who've been holding off on some big-time dental work because it's just too Damn expensive up in Cleveland. Remember if you come down to my expat wisdom seminar

[20:02] I'll hook you up with someone who's exceeded all my expectations and I have dentists in the family back up in Chicago so I'm not exactly a disinterested observer not to mention the gods of tooth pain have just struck and Now for all of you out there who've been searching the net for medical tourism sites Because you either need some work done right now or perhaps you'll be needing this or that in the near future and you're shopping Around and weighing your options if you think so-called medical tourism is exclusive to places like Mexico Costa Rica and Panama and by the way, I don't like that phrase medical tourism It sounds just a little too flippant for me. I mean face it. There's really no tourism involved It's coming down here to get some kind of medical treatment. That's it

[20:48] Anyway, as I alluded to before when first world people think of medical tourism They think of Mexico Costa Rica and Panama or maybe Colombia in Brazil But almost no one from the states goes that far down So it's Mexico Costa Rica and Panama that turn up in all the internet searches Now listen to this one of my past expat wisdom seminar guys Went to Costa Rica to visit one of his buddies just recently and he went to a dentist and had A treatment plan worked up in Costa Rica now from what I understand his treatment plan came to five or six Thousand US dollars now remember this is supposedly medical tourism in Costa Rica from a third world dentist giving you first world quality work at Supposedly third world prices, right? So then he met me off the gringo tourist trail and he ran into a few other expats who are permanently down here now after their

[21:40] trip through the expat wisdom seminar and they naturally turned him on to our favorite dentist and my seminar friend said You know what Johnny my five or six thousand dollar treatment plan suddenly turned into a $1,500 treatment plan when I went to your dentist and when I said well, how'd that happen? He said his treatment plan the Costa Rican dentist was simply overkill In other words his off the gringo tourist trail dentist said you don't need all that stuff When's the last time you heard a dentist up in the first world or anywhere sit you down and try to talk you out of an expensive Procedure so you really do have to come down here and see this for yourself There is another very strong vote for being off the gringo tourist trail, huh now speaking of expat wisdom seminar alumni

[22:30] One guy who came down to the seminar decided to make it his personal mission To get his boots on the ground in many places in Latin America to find the good the bad the ugly and the great Concerning gringo is coming down to learn their Spanish in Latin America So he was that gringo guinea pig himself the guy that wanted to learn Spanish down here So for the last year and a half or so, he's been on that mission and he wrote an e-book about it now It's not on the market yet, but he sent me an advance copy. I read it It's a fast read and I have to say if I was looking to learn my Spanish I'd give it three and a half stars In other words a must read before you come down and even give it a try It really puts a gringo down the right path on his way to learning Spanish

[23:16] Because there are a lot of dead ends and pitfalls on that journey So you get the kudos and the criticisms about private tutors immersion courses Spanish schools Internet courses CDs the whole works plus he explains about the very best and least expensive places in the world To learn your Spanish and wouldn't you know it according to him that top spot boots on the ground is a town called Chella in Guatemala and he talks about that and goes into a great deal about the mistakes that gringos make When they first go searching so he tells you what not to do while you're sitting up there in the states Deciding what immersion class or what family you're gonna stay with etc And well Let's just say he gives you so many excellent pointers that you just don't want to miss this book and guess what?

[24:03] Him and I are kind of getting a little deal together where it looks like very shortly He's gonna offer to give that book away free But only for a very limited time like one week, so I'll keep you posted on that You'll either have to go directly to his website or go to the expat wisdom website We haven't figured it out yet, but if you don't get to the link and get it for free You'll just have to dig deep and shell out a hole I think it is three bucks now the preliminary machinations of this are being worked out right now. Just take it from me I read the book this morning and very impressed plus. It's a no way boring. It's a fun read So anyway stay tuned and when I give it the word just jump on the website and get it for free Again you won't regret it and since today seems like the day. We've been plugging a lot of things free and otherwise

[24:52] Just bear with me a minute for one more announcement I just opened up the enrollment and sign up page for my July 2015 expat wisdom seminar It'll be from Saturday evening July 11th through Thursday, July 16th Just go to expat wisdom calm and on the main page There'll be a link at the top of the page that says Latin American seminar Click on that and you'll get the full details and remember the prices you see there are for the early bird signups So what does that mean well that means you get about five weeks until May 1st to get your ducks all lined up Because on May 1st the sign-up price will increase by 500 bucks So sign up within the next five weeks and get the early bird discount Oh, and by the way if you're coming down as a couple or two people sharing double occupancy you actually get a

[25:40] $1,000 discount that's five hundred dollars apiece right off the bat So again, just go to expat wisdom comm click Latin American seminar on the main page and away We go and once again, let me remind you if you got any kind of dental issues. You need implants Whatever just give us a little advanced notice on that and we'll hook you up with an appointment with our favorite dentist And yes being an oral surgeon. He is an implant specialist now don't get me wrong I don't want to give you the idea that there's just a bunch of dental cripples coming down to the seminar But over the years I've had more than a handful of people tell me that what they saved coming down here and getting their dentistry Done would have equaled the cost of a couple expat wisdom seminars had they got the work done up in the states So again, that's just one of the perks of coming down to an expat wisdom seminar and meeting these people in person yourself

[26:30] Now if you're a skeptic like me, you wouldn't want to take my word for it So if you do need that kind of work done or there's any kind of medical issue at all You want to get checked out we can hook you up with all the necessary English-speaking first world trained specialists Just send me an email explain your situation and I'll hook you up with a gringo or a gringo expat down here Who did the trip and took advantage of the medical care personally, you know first world care at third world prices. That's a given Oh and don't forget Richard Martin's wake-up call program can now be found and downloaded and streamed by going to Richard Martin's that's r-i-c-h-a-r-d-m-a-r-t-i-n-s wake-up call Dot pod bean p-o-d-b-e-a-n dot com. It's a show I listen to religiously

[27:20] And I think you should too and for your newcomers to his show don't be put off by the British accent He's got some tremendously valuable and important things to say even if he doesn't speak American south of the border You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com and don't forget to check out expat wisdom.com To sign up for your free reports on Latin America. See you next time nos vemos She was a picture