#453 – The Expat Files: Colombia, Real Estate Scams, and Autism in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Okay, then let's talk about some recent news now for all you expat wannabes and gone a bees who are thinking about going down to Columbia We've been talking about that a lot lately Unfortunately now that it's getting more and more on the radar and international living and all those retirement rags are promoting it as a very cool

[00:48] Place to be yes. It was it certainly was though now for better or for worse the secrets been let out of the bag So how's that affecting things in Columbia these days? Well in bigger cities like Cali and Medi in more and more gringos are stomping around and prices are going up For example, according to recent statistics most of Latin America has an inflation rate of about four to eight percent a year the two exceptions to the rule Of course are Venezuela and Argentina which have become inflation basket cases both hovering around 40 and 50 percent this year and like I said in last week's show since they practically made the US dollar illegal and Of course, you know the inflation rate always measured against the US dollar Those two places are just not recommended for gringos unless of course, you're a very determined

[01:37] Adventurous and steely type that said if you are a big-time chance taker, well go for it You know the old saying there's money to be made when there's blood in the streets But if you do go down don't wear white socks because bloodstains don't come out Anyway, like I said in the rest of Latin America at least for the past five years or so The average inflation rate spent around four to eight percent a year Not good really because you remember the law of sevens at seven percent inflation It only takes seven years for the prices in a country to double in other words If you're using the local currency It'll take twice as much of that funny money to buy the exact same things you bought seven years ago Which is why they call inflation the hidden tax So for Latin American countries the usual four to eight percent annual inflation is not good, but it's not terrible either now note

[02:27] We're talking about Columbia here and as a matter of fact in the last year Columbia's inflation rate which used to run around six percent in the last five years or so is now around 12 to 15% a year these are the numbers that are coming from independent economists and analysts because the government still says that inflation is around seven or eight percent a Year, but you know how governments lie So it looks like all that good press Columbia's been getting lately is really drawing in the gringos and the Europeans So now month over month, we've got higher prices in Columbia and more inflation according to the latest 2015 statistics the segment in Columbia that's experienced the most inflation by far in the last year has been the food sector and next in line You probably guessed it housing even though the real estate markets becoming vastly overbuilt and vacancies are historically high

[03:18] So my take well, I like the big cities in Columbia a lot, but I really don't think I'd want to live there However in the smaller cities a hundred thousand or less far away from the big cities There are still many good places to work play and or retire in Columbia The problem is these days if you're in the big cities and you don't want to lower your standard of living you want to live Like a first-world gringo. You're gonna be paying pretty close to gringo prices now bottom line Don't think like in many other places off the gringo tourist trail You can live like a first-world person on a measly social security check of twelve to fifteen hundred bucks a month That's just not gonna happen Unless of course you're living in a small town or out in the boonies Note that your food and housing costs and other expenses in the smaller towns could easily be half of what you pay in

[04:06] For example Kali Medellin Bogota or Cartagena So don't be too quick to run to Columbia as your permanent expat getaway When you've got all those web blogs and retirement rags saying that Columbia is the next Costa Rica looks like slowly But surely they're getting their wish though Unfortunately, no world traveler or anyone with a brain would ever want to settle in Costa Rica again So be careful what you ask for now You can see in those big Colombian cities that there's a real estate bubble going down since now Flipping properties seems to be the latest thing. Of course, it's not gringos flipping properties It's the local developers who practically salivate every time another Boeing or Airbus full of gringos and Europeans Disembarks at one of the international airports and it usually starts out like this in broken English. Of course

[04:52] It's your lucky day gringo. Have I got a deal for you How long you gonna be in my beautiful country a week you say what a coincidence? I told you this was your lucky day one week's exactly when this spectacular property goes off the market Yep, that's how it goes. Man. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that spiel It's right out of the Panama and Costa Rica playbook You know a guy approaches you hands you a pamphlet with the latest developments on it saying you got to get in now there's only two houses left in the project or maybe it's just that one condo left in the tower or Better yet that very last piece of beachfront or ocean view property That's why you go down you get your boots on the ground and your rent for at least six months Just don't get sucked into that quote. You have to act fast. It's the last available condo in the complex

[05:40] That's just BS now it might be the last condo All right, but there are a hundred other developments in the area, too It seems like Latin real estate developers just love to run ads that say hurry Yeah, I have to act now last available units and then three years later You see the same ad with the same verbiage hurry last available units. What a crack, huh? Okay, let's see what else we've got in the news here. Uh-huh I've noticed in all the big Latin American newspapers South and Central America This is telethon season say what in English It's spelled just about the same way and means the same thing TV telethon and of course along with that great big lag time factor Latin American charity organizations have stolen a page or two or three right from Jerry Lewis's muscular dystrophy telethons

[06:31] Now it's true Jerry Lewis's telethons have been going on for what 50 years now and no one's found a cure to MD So then you might ask where did that estimated three billion dollars go? That's right. I said three billion dollars That's a hell of a lot of lab coats salaries and Vaseline for Jerry's hair now. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying Jerry and Jerry's kids are crooks. I mean in all those 50 years I've never seen a scandal regarding Jerry or his kids However with virtually every single one of the telethons you see down here in Latin America There's been some huge scandal attached where organizers have run off with big chunks of dough And you do read about that stuff in the paper But it's always months and months after the telethon actually aired and like every dirty case of corruption

[07:20] That's unearthed in the Latin press It soon goes away after about a week because down here the public has the attention span of a net And I mean that in the kindest way since up in the states to have even that long of an attention span to some would be A compliment. I mean just look at the thieving nitwits that keep getting reelected to Congress over and over again Which is one of the big reasons it's time to get the hell out by the way. Oh and speaking of the scumbag Sociopaths in US politics I know I mentioned to you before that down here in Latin America even the so-called Educated Latins and the upper classes who should be discriminating and well-read have very very incomplete Education's they have huge fundamental black holes and gaps in their knowledge about what's really happening up in the first world and most of the time no matter how

[08:10] Educated or seemingly intellectual they might be they're all hell-bent on Copying exactly the first world lifestyle with a few of their own little classes twists thrown in like bodyguards and maids and maintenance guys Who come in by way of the servants entrance and are treated like second even third-class citizens in fact just the other day a Latin American political science teacher who didn't know me well at all just met him for the first time He asked me when I thought of Obama which was the wrong question ask Then after he dusted himself off and I picked him off the floor He asked me an even dumber question whether I was gonna vote for a Republican or Hillary now get this Here's a political science University professor in Latin America who doesn't even know who Ron Paul is when I mentioned Rand Paul

[08:55] He thought I was talking about the same person and then after I said a few unkind in fact Unmentionable words about the Republicans and the Democrats It was obvious where this so-called professor of political science got his info from first world cable TV I mean really down here at Latin's even educated ones They think CNN Fox and Network TV are the unshakable mouthpieces of all that's happening up in the first world So anyway stupid me I was sitting with the guy and had a little time on my hands So I proceeded to lay out for him just a few of the Obama and Clinton scandals and for good measure I threw in Halliburton Cheney the Bush bin Latin connection the 9-11 truth commission and a couple of the more plausible twin tower Conspiracies of which the so-called professor in New Zilch then I mentioned Bill Clinton and the Haiti

[09:46] Reconstruction connection, you know the half a billion dollar reconstruction project that never built anything Except Clinton and his buddy's bank accounts then I mentioned Hillary and her lies and her warmongering and her leaked emails and By then the spark seemed to have gone out of the professor's eyes and he looked as if a dog had just pissed on his leg I guess I just tarnished his pristine image of the democratic Clinton Obama dynasty According to first world media like Reuters AP CNN, etc And then he said that's not much of a scandal Hillary is still gonna run, isn't she? He said down here Scandals don't mean a thing every politician is involved in a dozen of them and they always run and get reelected Then he asked again. She is gonna run, isn't she?

[10:33] Then I looked at him hard in the eyes and I said as sure as a dog goes back to eat its vomit There'll be a Clinton on the presidential ballot next year. Then he asked that magic question again. Who are you gonna vote for? I said I already did I voted with my feet about 25 years ago. That's the only vote that counts But where was I? Oh, yeah, I was talking about those telethons down here in Spanish They're called that later on and yes, they go for a couple of days just like Jerry's telethons up in the States and Since what you see down here is always a bad bad copy of Jerry's Labor Day telethon Gringos like us who speak a little Spanish and understand what's going on can't stomach those things for more than about three minutes Anyway, all the big Latin American local television stations have their telethons this time of year

[11:23] They usually last one to three days And I'm telling you you're an idiot if you donate one peso to these guys It's the usual tug-your-heart strings propaganda poor barefoot kids on dirt floors out in the compo Eating tortillas beans and watery soup now They interweave sad scenes like that with down syndrome kids throw in a few skinny bald kids with cancer and horribly undernourished kids in wheelchairs So it's the age-old you're okay, and they're not guilt trip that they're laying on you But please don't fall for it It's just like the adopt a kid for 20 bucks a month scam that I mentioned in a show a couple of years ago Remember that one when I went on a trip with a nice Canadian guy that came down just looking to meet that little girl

[12:08] He's been supporting for about five years at 20 bucks a month And when we got to the agency's headquarters in Honduras The parking lot was filled with late model SUVs But the secretary in charge of all the files just couldn't seem to find his girl What a monster letdown, huh? And he'd come all that way from Canada just to meet the little girl that had been sending him nice little letters every month Thanking him for being a nice adoptive dad. It's just all crap So be smart don't get fooled now. I can see how that Canadian guy got fooled I mean he's sitting up there and sending his little check down monthly I mean come on. It's guys like him that give Canadians that sterling reputation in good name now The so-called NGO Children's Agency in Honduras for them. It's the out of sight out of mind context

[12:56] They're just counting on the fact that no one's gonna come down here and check up on him Why would they well my Canadian buddy did and when he got taken he realized the world was not a very nice place You know it's gonna be a sad day when you have to disillusion a Canadian like that They're always so positive and upbeat hey now The amazing thing is when you ask someone on the street about these telethons Every last person no matter what his social status thinks these things are just marvelous that said it's obvious the general Latin public Will just never get it. It's obvious They never really bothered to read anything But the front page the funny pages and the sports section and when there is a major breaking story of a telethon ripoff

[13:41] And they happen every year Amazingly enough there are no news reports on TV Why bite the hand that feeds you they're paying big bucks for that TV time and remember since those telethons are only on TV The newspapers pretty much the only place you can find out the truth about what kind of scams They are and how they're ripping people off and remember like I said down here in Latin America There is no truth in advertising which in a way. It's a good thing It just means buyer beware in other words you have to be smart about things and I know for most Americans It's a hard thing to take back control of your own life since the government does everything for so many people these days And that's one thing that makes living in Latin America. So different here You take care of your own destiny and you watch out for yourself. Hey, what a concept, huh?

[14:28] It takes a certain kind of free-thinking person people like us to recognize how great and really fair that is What I mean for example are things like this I got an email the other day from someone who wants to attend my next expat wisdom seminar He says out in the boonies of Iowa where he lives. He's got a couple acres It's a rural setting and he wants to have a cow he wants his own fresh organic milk for his family in the end He nixed it just too much of a hassle He said he found out he'd have to open his doors to government inspectors a couple times a year Not just outside where the barn would be but his own personal residence He'd have to get a rider on his insurance policy. He'd have to file for livestock permits, etc Not to mention build an approved fence or pen like he said way too much horse or cow crap

[15:16] He'd have spent about five or six hundred bucks before he even got the cow And then there'd be no guarantee in that permit process that they wouldn't just reject his application outright Whereas down here in Latin America if you live out in the boonies, you just go buy a damn cow Period oh and I have to mention in the last month or so I've gotten some emails from people asking me about autism down here in Latin America and to me It's rather strange up in the States. It's on the tip of everyone's tongue You hear things about it all the time you read blogs They got hundreds of websites on it just like the bullying phenomena seems like every family's affected somehow brother Sister cousin, whatever. Well, guess what down here in Latin America? I've never met a single person with autism nor have I ever spoken to a person who had someone in the family who was

[16:04] Diagnosed with autism. Now. I'm not saying it doesn't exist down here. They call it in fact Outismo here. The fact is some of my gringo expat friends teaching at those helicopter schools You know the private ones that cost about three to five thousand bucks a year Lota with spoiled entitled kids with bodyguards, etc Well, guess what it turns out autism does exist down here in Latin America But it seems to be exclusive to those high-end helicopter schools What does that tell you are the common average Latin moms and dad just not reporting it or are they not noticing it? Are they out of the loop somehow? Who knows? But I can't tell you this if you talk to a teacher that teaches at a non helicopter school You know a regular public school or a inexpensive private or parochial school a school that believe it or not could cost maybe

[16:50] 50 bucks a month the teachers there will tell you and I've spoken to a few that yes They've heard about autism and they've read the literature But doesn't seem like it's an issue at least not yet But as one female teacher told me who teaches in public school down here She said when those autistic kids come when they start trickling in they'll be ready So wait a minute you tell me then why autism occurs in those high-end gringo like first-world style schools Yet, it's practically non-existent or goes undiagnosed in the schools that the 90% of the rest of Latin American kids go to Well, could it be like one of my expat gringo friends who teaches at a helicopter school told me he thinks autism is occurring in His school because the kids all have first-world habits. They eat first-world junk food like it's going out of style

[17:42] They've got their cell phones and electronic devices up to their head 24-7 and even sleep with them and their parents are jumping on the vaccination bandwagon first-world style if the gringos are doing it It must be right now note all kids in Latin American get vaccinated But as one physician told me kids down here get a small battery of inoculations in their first year of life But after that they rarely get vaccinated again And he estimated that kids down here get about one-quarter as many vaccinations as kids up in the first world not to mention He said no one gets a flu shot. They just don't have them down here. Well, let me take that back He says if you really want flu shots They can order them from the states and get them down in the office and give them to you But in his experience no one's ever done that however, like he said most of his patients are middle-class Latin's

[18:31] Oh, and by the way, the other day I saw an ad in one of the big newspapers some kind of marathon run for autism So they do have organizations that are involved in such things. However, I can tell you this any time There's an advertised running event here in Latin America You'll find that average Latin American folks are not into running sports like marathons as hobbies Those specific kind of running sports activities are for the high-class Latin's the upper middle class and the wealthy Just drive through any big Latin American city Especially on a weekend drive through a middle or lower middle class area and you'll almost never see anyone jogging Not with a jogging suit anyway But I can tell you this if you're driving around in one of those exclusive Upper middle class and wealthy neighborhoods, you'll occasionally spot runners. Yep, and they're dressed to the hill and note

[19:20] They'll sometimes be SUVs trailing a half a block back Yep, those would be the bodyguards and those fat ass bodyguards are the ones that should be jogging So just by observing the weekend ritual of jogging You can draw a very stark line between the classes here in Latin America So again, it kind of proves the point you got high-end people in the running game Running for things like autism an affliction that only seems to exist in a meaningful way in the children of the upper classes Hmm. So what's really happening here? Well, whatever it is. You could write a book on it you not me That said let's look at Mexico. It's always in the news around here now note all the news agencies and politicians in other

[20:07] Latin American countries are really kind of skittish about Broadcasting the bad things that are happening in Mexico. It's their biggest trading partner So you could say all of their Latin countries except maybe Argentina and Venezuela Continuously suck up to Mexico Venezuela doesn't have to because well They got the oil and Argentina because they suck up to no one they think they're better than every other Latin American country Like I mentioned in last week's show And if you don't believe me just find an Argentine penpal and ask that very question So it's true for pure ego and inflated self-esteem It's kind of a neck-and-neck race between Costa Rica and Argentina Both countries think they're the cream of the crop and the absolute best and latest word on anything Latin again For those of you listeners out there who might not know why for Costa Rica

[20:54] They think they're their best because they've got no indigenous population somehow early on when the Spanish first landed. They were isolated Geographically and thus they have no poor indigenous population like most of the rest of Latin America The fact is the majority of Costa Ricans are Latinos mostly light-skinned Latinos by the way And Costa Rica has got a small component maybe eight to ten percent of Latin folks with a lot of European blood So they look kind of like gringos, but shorter So like I said Costa Rica has no poor dark short indigenous population to keep downtrodden instead They keep the black segment of their population down trodden and you'll see what I mean if you ever go there in Costa Rica They've got 98% of their black population kind of smooshed up against the Caribbean side the side that gets almost no high-end

[21:43] Gringo tourism, but you knew that already right now when it comes to Costa Rica's big-headed egotistical rival Argentina the reason why they believe there are cut above actually two or three cuts above because they too have no real low-class poor indigenous population to speak of either Along with the fact that they've got a heavy mix of Italian German and Spanish blood Which is why especially when you're walking through some of the big cities like Buenos Aires You'll often think you're seeing a group of gringos, but when you get closer you realize they're speaking flawless Spanish So obviously they're not gringos And I can say that because no matter how long a gringos been down here in Latin America He never gets rid of that gringo accent unless of course you come down here as a little kid And you go to a bilingual school the fact is if you're born a gringo or unless you're some kind of prodigy or autistic

[22:32] Maybe you'll never quite lose that gringo accent, but I digress as usual I was talking about Mexico right in the news every day down here in Latin America But only small snippets tiny little articles stuffed in the back pages generally so like today I'm reading a small article about Mexico on page 13 of this paper, and it says in Jalisco, Mexico 15 cops were murdered and ambushed on a bridge the attack took place on a road very near the tourist town of Puerto Vallarta now I hardly ever talk about all the bad news coming out of Mexico because after five minutes your eyes would glaze over Now the reason why I'm mentioning this particular incident is because drug dealers wiped out 15 cops at a crack No pun intended come on if that happened in Cleveland

[23:20] And the second reason I'm bringing this up is because I get lots of emails from people saying Johnny Why are you so hard on Mexico? I've been there and there's some awful nice places to live work play and or retire all that big narco crime and corruption You're talking about that occurs away from the tourist areas because well gang members and such have their own little barrios And as long as you steer away from those areas. You'll be alright So then what do I have to say about emails like that? Violence is not just occurring in narco barrios. It's occurring in and around tourist towns, too In fact, remember a half a year ago in Acapulco a purely tourist town. They found what was it 24? Decapitated bodies just outside of town. So please you guys and gals up there who've already bought into Mexico You've got a condo or some land or a trailer down there. Whatever

[24:08] I know you're gonna be biased about all this you got skin in the game You've got a nice chunk of dough invested down there and you don't want to see that evaporate So in the end, I'm not totally condemning the place I love the Yucatan Peninsula, but that's slowly but surely cracking at the seams, too I mean, let's face it if you're a bad guy after you've picked all the fruit from the local trees You're gonna head to greener pastures, right? And for those of you guys and gals up there who've been to Mexico City, that's the districto federal Remember in a city that big what is it 15 million? You're gonna find splendid and beautiful neighborhoods along with a lot of horrible barrios 60 to 70 percent of the people there are the wretched poor If you find yourself a nice gated community in a beautiful neighborhood in Mexico City districto federal Remember about those parking problems I mentioned on a past show and worse

[24:58] World Health Organization is saying if you live in Mexico City, it's like smoking two packs of cigarettes a day So can you live with that? Finally today for all you guys and gals up there who are thinking of coming down becoming an expat Hoping and praying you could find some kind of work down here to do to make some money Because you know that seems to be the aim of about 90% of potential expats unless you're retired and getting a pension Still you got to have something to do right because you're gonna have a lot of time on your hands Anyway, let me read this little snippet from Argentina's biggest paper La Nación and it's in the financial section And this believe me really does have a lot of bearing on what you might do down here to make some money. It says only 16% of Latin Americans have access to the Internet in their homes 16% now compare that to the first world the United States Europe Japan where

[25:48] 96% of people have access to Internet in the home now That's not to say that Latins don't have cheap smartphones even the smartphones you can get down here these days for 30 bucks Smart enough any way to allow you to hook up to the Internet However, since most of Latin Americans have pay-as-you-go phones. That means they don't have an actual contract plan So Internet cost is very high as soon as you hook up It instantly starts sucking your nickels and dimes away in a hurry And of course Latin people know that so they almost never hook up to the Internet continuously on their almost smartphones Sure, they might check their Facebook sites once in a while for 20 or 30 seconds But believe me, they're not locked in searching the web like you do when you're at home

[26:34] So with only 16% of people on the Internet in their houses, the Internet is in a huge growth phase here So obviously you want to be positioned on the Internet as the automatic growth happens Now that fits very nicely into Johnny's number one rule of business that is competition is okay But make sure it's Latin competition not gringo competition Whatever you're thinking of doing in the way of making money make sure it's got a heavy Internet presence So right off the bat, you've got a huge advantage because your competition will be Spanish Of course, that'll mean you have to know a bit of Spanish yourself. So get cracking on it Okay We're near the end of the show again And I want to remind you if you want to get in on the early bird discount for my July 2015 Expat wisdom seminar in Central America

[27:21] You must sign up before May 1st because after that the price goes up five hundred dollars per person Just go to expat wisdom calm and click on the seminar link for all the information You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com And don't forget to check out expat wisdom calm to sign up for your free reports on Latin America See you next time knows famous He knows