#458 – The Expat Files: TripAdvisor, Boats, and the Realities of Living in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play And now that I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great And it's all right here so let's get started Now today I have to report a little bit of unsettling news I noticed that the TripAdvisor people, of course you know who those folks are There are millions of travelers much like yourselves who write reviews on places and hotels etc. on the TripAdvisor website

[00:50] When people travel, it seems everybody checks that TripAdvisor website You could say it's the unofficial Quran or Bible of the traveling public And of course it's the TripAdvisor people who give out those nice little plaques to certain hotels and bed and breakfast etc. Stating that their place is a top TripAdvisor destination or have received some kind of TripAdvisor award I'm sure you've seen those things on restaurant doors etc. Kind of a good housekeeping seal of approval Or is it? Now in regards to the travel industry, the TripAdvisor website is one of the most visited websites on the planet I go there sometimes myself That said, I have to state that often times I don't agree with their ratings In fact often times I've been at hotels and restaurants that have a so called TripAdvisor outstanding rating

[01:41] Well let's just say somebody screwed up somewhere I mean come on, when a TripAdvisor gives a bed and breakfast or a restaurant It's highest rating and you see the plaque outside on the front desk And there's no toilet paper in the bathrooms and no paper towels to wipe your hands on Well that happened So then maybe there should be a special kind of TripAdvisor or equivalent Just to review restrooms, bathrooms and kitchens Hey now there's a gringo website niche if I ever heard one But I digress as usual That said, I'd really like to meet some of the people that give such over the top ratings To some of these awful unsanitary dirt bag joints Sometimes I feel they've been so wrong, so off the mark that they need a little lesson I got it

[02:27] How about a bare ass session on a toilet in one of those scumbag hotels or restaurants that they've rated so highly Come on it seems to me that some traveling folks are satisfied with anything I mean look at the backpacker crowd The crap in the filth and the bedbugs etc that they're willing to put up with Now that stuff frightens me Backpackers I've found are some of the people that write the most glowing reviews Now note that most backpackers don't always travel ultra low class all the time They occasionally stay at two, three even four star hotels So you can imagine if they're used to sleeping with the cockroaches and scorpions If suddenly they were in a run of the mill supposedly three or four star hotel And note for you English language nitpickers out there I said supposedly not supposedly

[03:13] No be in that word Lest my mother the English professor call me out on that one Anyway when backpackers first graduate to three and four star hotels Even when they stay in overrated mediocre ones They often think they've died and gone to heaven So then I guess heaven ain't what it used to be either huh? So there you have it you got tons of travelers out there with low standards Who pretty much rave about everything You know extra easy to please Sometimes I wish I was one of those people Then again you've got those people who complain about everything They're the ones most likely to write a bad or even evil review on the TripAdvisor You know people who complain about the littlest things that most people don't even notice You could in fact be standing right next to one as we speak They make terrible traveling companions but yet there are millions of them

[04:02] In fact I have a sister like that I can hear her now Why Johnny the nerve of the kitchen staff Did you know those so called energy bars in the mezzanine are not gluten free? Now for some of these irritable folks I know there is a method to the madness Because you know if you complain loud enough at the reception desk Especially when new arrivals are checking in The management will do something to shut you up like a pre-upgrade maybe So it seems to me you got the polar opposites writing reviews in the TripAdvisor Almost no one in the middle Now if you disagree with me on that let me ask you this question Have you ever written a review on TripAdvisor? I mean come on what people really have the time to write a review When a hotel is just average mediocre or standard

[04:50] Why bother that's what we expect most of the time right? A little good a little bad a little in between Now I bet if any of you listeners out there ever wrote a TripAdvisor review It was probably to beat up on some establishment Or because you happen to find chocolates on your pillow and a rose in the jacuzzi When you weren't even expecting a jacuzzi Well that might rate a nice comment on the TripAdvisor Now couldn't it? Anyway I could talk about how TripAdvisor misses the mark all day But the fact is people believe them They get a 98% positive rating from the general public From people who view their website But not all people love TripAdvisor In fact there's even a website called I hate TripAdvisor how about that? And who knows how many of those TripAdvisor reviews are fake

[05:38] It's as easy to rip on a place just to put a dent in their business As it is to pump up some hotel or hostel And award them some undeserved points And I understand there are even some tour and anonymous websites Where you can connect with people to write good and bad reviews Of places they've never even been to Just to mess with people sort of revenge sites Now I understand in both the US and the UK It's illegal to write a false review like that Haha what are they going to do to you And how are they going to catch you right? I can just see some young 14 year old Russian immigrant spammer In front of a judge in the UK Facing the momentous charge of Submitting unknowingly false review on TripAdvisor

[06:23] For shame for shame 30 days in the hole Which brings me in a roundabout way To why we're talking about TripAdvisor in the first place Now you long time listeners might recall that Probably around 5 years ago Roundabout the time I was disseminating my Gringo Advantage hypothesis I wrote a little report some of you might be familiar with Called My 17 Undiscovered Latin American Paradise All of them really great places to just settle in Retire, work, whatever and enjoy that Gringo Advantage Because in those places Well off the Gringo tourist trail The Gringo Advantage was in full force But that was around 5 years ago And things have changed So I'm really going to update that report So stay tuned for that Especially you gold expat wisdom members out there

[07:09] You know who you are Anyway I know it's time to scratch One of my favorite paradises off the list When all of the sudden Rags like International Living Or websites and blogmasters like TripAdvisor Yes I said TripAdvisor Start telling the world that These are the latest and greatest Tourist and expat places to be So to my surprise today I turned on my computer and The default Yahoo News came up and guess what They're on the main page TripAdvisor is rating The 10 best island resorts and destinations in the world Guess what is number 3 Roatan Honduras A place that I'd been going to now for what

[07:55] 20, 25 years In fact the last time I was there was around 2 years ago And even then Though it wasn't exactly bustling with tourists I felt myself being crowded in By a certain percentage of ugly Americans If you know what I mean Along with a greater and greater percentage Of astute locals with an eye out To rip off or at least take advantage of Gringos And you know since I went there the very first time I think I've gone back every 2 or 3 years Because it's just so cool Or was For example Till about 5 years ago There wasn't a single US or first world franchise On the whole island For so many years it was just kind of a laid back Sun and the fun scuba diver And snorkelers paradise With one of the top 10

[08:41] White sand beaches in the world Now I know everybody thinks they know What a great white sand beach is But do they know what a really extraordinary White sand beach is? I don't think so Now for you occasional travelers out there There are white sand beaches And there are white sand beaches Let me tell you I've been all over the world And I've found that one can really be misled By the tourist promotional pamphlets And all the hype Tourist destinations lay on you For example websites and tourist agencies Will tell you how the Dominican Republic Has some of the top 10 White sand beaches in the world As does Nevis and St. Kitts And the Bahamas and the Virgin Islands Aruba, Curaçao, Trinidad and on and on

[09:26] In fact practically every Caribbean tourist destination Will make that claim Everybody says their beaches Are the best in the world Well I'll tell you I've been to all those places and many more And for example in the case of The Dominican Republic They are pure white sand beaches But like I said there are White sand beaches and white sand beaches And here's the story on that You've got what you might call The coarse grained sand white beaches The medium grained sand And those rare beaches That are like powdered sugar And there are not very many at all in the world And one of those beaches is on Roatan And as for the Dominican Republic Beautiful white sand beaches are right But they're the medium grained sand And there are really few places in the world

[10:12] Where you can walk 100 feet from your hotel Throw on a snorkel mask Walk out into the water Only waist deep Dip your head in and see Right down below you Giant crabs Octopi Sea turtles Fantastic tropical colored fish Manta rays Lobsters, cuttlefish and all kinds of stuff That you've only seen up close on that geo Now again forget about that In places like the Dominican Republic Who are supposed to have these great white sand beaches I've been there, I know Sure you've got the beautiful patches of green And blue aquamarine water But when you walk out with your snorkel gear There's so much less to see The water, slightly more clouded Slightly more turbid So on that count I give the DR's best beaches

[11:00] A 7.5 to an 8.5 Whereas the main beach in Roatan About a 9.5 to a 9.8 But that was then Now that TripAdvisor rates it number 3 in the world I just might not be going back there anymore It's getting more crowded Prices are up And they've built a very touristy Pre-fabricated little village On a nice beach Where all the cruise ships come in Now even 5 years ago Only 2 or 3 cruise ships came in a week Now you got 2 or 3 of them Sitting in that harbor every single day So is it really what you might call paradise lost Unfortunately I think that's about it for Roatan It's now officially on the gringo tourist trail

[11:46] Thank you TripAdvisor and International Living Ok now staying on that subject of islands, beaches and water As I mentioned in the show a long time ago I do get emails from people who are planning on bringing their boats Down to Latin America Hooking up at a dock or marina And living 24-7 on a beautiful bay Houseboat style However most of the emails and inquiries I get from people planning to do that Don't have a boat yet so it's kind of a dream Or they have a boat but they don't know where to start Besides that they don't know Spanish And have certain fears about bringing it down Ok that said if you remember About 2 years ago one of my expat wisdom attendees Brandon actually did bring his boat down And sailed through the Panama Canal

[12:32] Now it's in the tourist and fishing business Permanently docked in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua Where Brandon's making a pretty good go of it Now if I remember I think his boat was in the 30 something foot range And believe me I think bringing a boat like that down by yourself Is not for the faint of heart it's a pretty nervy adventure And not for crime or fear of the natives It's just that you've got those big intense epic storms in the Caribbean So in order to try that trip yourself You have to be a pretty damn good sailor Now that doesn't mean you can't buy a boat down here There are hundreds if not thousands of them for sale all the time You can even have one built There are tremendous boat builders down here in Latin America too And of course there's Latin American Craigslist

[13:17] And other Latin buy and sell websites Where all things you can think of are for sale And much of the stuff very cheap and tremendously undervalued However to get out of these sites you should speak a little Spanish Or you'll have trouble navigating Anyway it seems like a lot of you listeners Ex-pat wannabes and gunabes Are thinking about doing the boat thing because Well it is kind of a dream lifestyle isn't it Living the laid back life on a boat Now that said just recently Another acquaintance of mine A 50 something guy from Montreal, Canada A guy totally fed up with the Canadian version of Big Brother Decided to sail his get this 24 foot sailboat down to Central America

[14:02] Yep all the way from Montreal through the St. Lawrence Seaway Down the entire coast of the states Landing eventually in Belize then Roatan Then mainland Honduras and Guatemala His only other passenger A cat And a very small trolling motor Now you gotta know this guy is a real adventurer And he wanted out of Canada in the worst way In fact he mentioned he and his cat nearly died about 3 times Storms and swells and all that of course Remember now a 24 foot sailboat Is just slightly longer than a double cab pickup truck To me this guy was braver than Columbus Because look Columbus's ship the Nina was twice that size

[14:47] About 50 foot Again with a 3 hour tour How'd that get in there Columbus wouldn't like that I don't think So anyway that said People do want to live on their boats They want to bring them down from the states And they need information on that So I thought this is the perfect time and the perfect show To give you some great dope on the subject Since one of our long time Expedphile listeners and friend Robert he and I have been shooting emails back and forth for some years now While at the same time he's been firing off emails to Latin American marinas too He's interested in living on a boat in a guarded safe marina With all the first world amenities of course

[15:33] Now in Latin America there are a lot of marina type setups Where people live on their boats The question is are they adequate for a gringo's particular needs and lifestyle And what are the costs and amenities etc Luckily enough since Robert's been doing the investigating for himself We can now give you some exact information if you're planning on doing that So before I get on with this email Let me mention that Robert has been looking into a specific guarded gated marina community On the Caribbean side In Guatemala called Amatiki Bay Resort Marina Now the fact is I know this place quite well I've been there It's kind of like a combination marina timeshare hotel project Which I know sounds kind of budget tell or motel six-ish

[16:19] But I assure you it's not In fact it's upscale enough So that you might call it upper middle class or even wealthy by Latin standards Which would make it slightly upper middle class first world gringo standards Now Robert's been doing a research on his dream of docking a boat somewhere in Latin America And living there for 24-7 And in his web searching came up with this place Amatiki Bay in Guatemala A real coincidence since I know the place quite well myself And I know some upscale and wealthy Latins who have timeshares and units there Now the hotel condo and timeshare part are in the complex But apart from the marina itself Which by the way reinforces that lag time effect I talk about all the time Because you know the timeshare thing up in the first world was dead and gone and buried

[17:07] What 25 years ago now? But down here in Latin America In the last five years they've taken off and they're alive and well seemingly Except for the fact that if you pick up any big Latin American newspaper Looks like some of these timeshare owners can no longer afford their little investment Or maybe they're sick of the timeshare thing Like so many of us were 25 years ago right? Because you know now you can pick up the big newspapers And see you can buy these things at 50 cents on the dollar Surprise surprise huh? But we're talking about the marina boat slip part now Which is alive and well So let me get on with this email Robert says I received further information from Amatiki Bay Resort In response to my inquiry regarding costs

[17:54] Hmm it only took them a couple of months Manana time huh? And here's what they sent back to me In English by the way Now before I read parts of this letter That the manager of this Amatiki Bay Resort sent to Bob I have to mention that this is a very nice guarded community Right on the Caribbean Ocean It's pricey enough for the locals There's no riff-raff around at all And it's about 20 minutes away from Guatemala's big Caribbean port town Called Porto Barrios A really kind of dirty and scruffy port town Probably has about 50,000 people But all port towns are dirty and scruffy in Latin America So no big surprise there But the thing is if you live in that nice marina community And you need anything

[18:40] They have everything at this port town Because containers are always coming in off of ships It's a real bustling and active community And again because we're way off the gringo tourist trail Things are extremely inexpensive So it's good to know that you're close enough Yet far enough away from a pretty good sized city Where you can get anything within about a 10 or 15 minute drive But believe me it's no city a gringo would want to live in It's just a dirty scruffy port town, you know That said let me give you the response That comes from the manager of the Amatiki Bay Resort The reply that Robert got about 3 months after he sent it Anyway it says hello from Amatiki Bay Marina Thank you for your interest in our resort In an effort to answer your questions

[19:26] I'm supplying you with the following information Our boat slip rentals for boats Is $200 a month for short term And $150 US per month if you'd like to sign a 6 month contract Okay let me stop for a second and comment Now to rent a boat slip for $150 a month Sounds pretty cheap right? Well I can guarantee you can get it for $100 a month If you pay 6 months ahead That's just the way things are down here Nobody ever does that and they're just shocked When you pull out a wad of bills and say hey I'll pay for 6 months but I want a deal Of course that's something you'll have to do in person Anyway it goes on to say Our rate for electricity is $0.45 US per kilowatt hour used Now note they're making some money there

[20:11] The real rate in Guatemala is about $0.25 US a kilowatt hour So they're charging you double If you're actually living on the boat 24-7 I still can't see that you'd use more than 100 kilowatt hours a month maximum Especially if it's just you and maybe another person So at that your electric charge would be about $45 a month And that's if you're really burning the midnight oil And then the letter says, and I'm paraphrasing here All of our boat slips are side tie Whatever that means Our water quality at the slips is of excellent quality Bottled water in 5 gallon containers is available To be delivered to your boat upon your request Overnight propane refills are also available if required The marina has free wifi too In addition we have scuba instruction available

[20:59] As well as planned dive trips and tank refills here Showers with both hot and cold water and restrooms Are located at the marina for your convenience The marina and the entire complex have 24 hour guarded security Our English speaking dock master is able to handle All your check-in requirements We are located in an insurance certified storm safe zone Though we are on the Caribbean side We are very protected against storms A Matiki Bay resort and marina offer the use of our two On property restaurants serving excellent quality International menu items at a very reasonable cost Prepared to your expectations by our professional chefs Now let me break in for a second to say that I've been to those restaurants And the dishes are around 10 or 12 bucks

[21:45] And the breakfast, 3 to 5 bucks And believe me these restaurants are nicely appointed Then the letter goes on to say If you are staying at our marina You get 15% off of all our food menus If you have guests staying We will give them a substantial discount If they stay at our hotel or one of our condos The discount not applying to high season and selected holidays We also provide an outstanding water park with two water slides Large adult swimming pool with a bar built into the pool And a child swimming pool area There is also a jungle canopy zip line That runs through the wooded part of our complex All of our over 120 employees Are here to make you feel at home And provide your every need

[22:31] We have a contract taxi service on call That speaks English who will take you to Portobardios To do your shopping Portobardios offers a large modern shopping center Complete with a McDonald's large hardware store Complete supermarkets, optometrists, doctors Shopping malls, multi-screen theaters Everything you could desire 20 minutes away Then he asks for some information about your particular boat And your electrical requirements at the slip Whether you want 220 or 110, 30 amp or 50 amp, etc So there you have it Now let's do some comparables Okay, that said, I know a lot of people with boats up in the States And if you have an ocean marina location Let's say in Florida or Georgia or whatever The average monthly rent on a boat slip

[23:17] Runs from 10 to 25 bucks a lineal foot of your boat Depending of course on the location and the amenities of your marina And it looks like in the case of this Amatiki Bay location It doesn't really matter how big your boat is To a point anyway They don't mention it Looks like just a flat fee You'll pay according to them on a long term rental 150 bucks Whether you have a 12 foot boat or a 50 foot boat Now let's just say you have a 30 footer Still if you work out the math you can see In the States for example in a Florida ocean marina You'd be paying anywhere from 300 to over 700 bucks a month in rent And down here in Latin America You'd be paying half of that or much less than half of that

[24:03] If you cut a cash deal for 6 months or more And we're comparing that to the lowest price you could get in the States That $10 a linear foot price Now of course you're talking about a very nice marina in Guatemala Well off the gringo tourist trail However when you're on the gringo tourist trail Let's say Costa Rica Now I had a boat in Costa Rica So I know first hand what the costs are In fact on the Pacific side between Capos and Manuel Antonio I was paying about what the Amatiki Bay Resort in Guatemala is charging right now Basically about 5 bucks per lineal foot But that was 20 plus years ago Now the same boat slips are going for 30 bucks a linear foot So a 30 foot boat

[24:49] 900 freaking bucks a month So for all you guys and gals thinking about Costa Rica Rent a house 900 bucks a month come on Of course at these luxury marinas and resorts They throw in the water, electricity and trash and all that But still come on Even if you have a 24 foot boat at 30 bucks a linear foot You could rent an excellent luxury first world style apartment Practically anywhere off the gringo tourist trail For around this same price About 700 a month So there are some options and comparisons for you Now if you're thinking of bringing your boat down to a gringo tourist spot Like Cancun or Costa Rica or Panama or whatever They'll make you fork out a cash security deposit Of anywhere from 1000 to 2500 bucks

[25:36] Whereas in marinas off the gringo tourist trail You're looking at a maximum security deposit of 2 months rent Usually just 1 Oh and by the way in Panama and Costa Rica There's a 13 to 15 percent sales tax You know VAT called EVA down here While off the gringo tourist trail That's normally included in the total price So then the question is Is it worth it to bring your boat down and live 24 7 in a marina I'd say if you like that kind of thing It's one of the best retirement scenarios of all Now I've said about that Once again we're getting towards the end of the show And let me repeat My July 2015 Expat Wisdom seminar Is getting underway in about 2 months So if you want to get in on the fun And the kind of boots on the ground action

[26:21] You'll never get at any other seminar I guarantee you that Just go to expatwisdom.com Click on the Latin seminar link for all the info And again let me repeat For all you folks who've been sending me inquiries Once you sign up I'll be sending you a special message About every week to 2 weeks A total of 6 messages in all Designed to answer pretty much every question You might have about the trip down And remember if you have any specific questions You can send me an email at johnny at expatwisdom.com Or the expatfiles at gmail.com Or better yet You can get on live with me on one of my webinars Then you've got me for an hour live And you can ask any questions you want About the seminar or anything else So by popular demand I have been doing webinars About every 2 weeks for the last month or 2

[27:08] So do sign on Just go to expatwisdom.com And you can get in on the conversation too And it's free Now a word from our special maritime guest South of the border Down Mexico way You've been listening to The Expat Files Living in Latin America Coming to you twice a week From somewhere south of the border Email me Theexpatfiles at gmail.com And don't forget to check out expatwisdom.com To sign up for your free reports on Latin America See you next time

[27:54] Nos vemos