#466 – Expat Life in Latin America: Security, Identity, and Lifestyle

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wander Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started now Here's something you'll never see up in the first world at least I think you want if you did I think you'd be looking at some big-time lawsuits turns out the other day I was invited to someone's house at a very high-end upscale neighborhood in Latin America Where else and what I mean by high-end is that when you drive up to the guard station you have to give them your license

[00:50] Of course and you actually slip it into a little slot and a photo is taken of it Which I absolutely hate then he checks your car and looks under it with a mirror as if you were driving into the Pentagon or something Whether they're looking for car bombs or freeloaders who knows but funny enough with all that overkill. They never check the trunk Then they leave you sitting there a while and before they even open the gate They call the person you're supposed to be visiting and see if it's true Then when you finally get in and you're driving down those nicely manicured boulevards and down here They do have the best gardeners in the world by the way So once you're in you notice rent-a-cops on bicycles patrol in the neighborhood 24-7 And of course the neighborhood isn't closed by a very high well manicured wall now this particular neighborhood has maybe

[01:39] 60 or 70 houses the smallest ones about 3500 square feet worth maybe 300,000 US or so the smallest ones being on the smallest lots of about a third of an acre Then mixed in with those houses are some spreads that are a city block square We're talking million even two million dollar houses on two or three acres So this would be the wealthy class in Latin America the cream of the crap lots of scumbag politicians and such the half Oh one percenters, but here's the part that I noticed and I don't think would ever happen up in the first world now remember all these upscale private developments have their own water supply their own wells and What does that have to do with anything you see when you're driving out of the place Right under the large pitched roof of the guard shack where they hand you back your license. There's a big bulletin board

[02:30] Yeah, believe it or not Some of the entrance guard shacks at these upscale subdivisions will take your license for the duration of your visit God, I hate that which is why certain expat gringos like a guy named Eddie and we won't mention any other names They'll often carry an ID document or two that aren't so real just for those occasions When a rent a cop wants to confiscate your license for the term of your stay there So then is that illegal? Well up in the States, it probably is everything's illegal up there, right? You remember that book three felonies a day don't ya? Anyway, as long as you have your real legit documents on hand for when the case arises that you need to flash them Most expat gringos can see nothing wrong with carrying an extra license. Let's say

[03:16] One you may have bought or downloaded from the internet or simply photoshop from elsewhere Now gringos who carry such items. Tell me these documents you could get off the internet that are advertised for quote entertainment purposes only unquote Love that should always be in English Why because naturally the guards and the rent a cops will have no idea what it actually says Since so few lands especially off the tourist trails speak any English at all Anyway, who cares? These guys are just rent a cops security guards and secretaries They really have no official authority over you. So why play their game? They've got no right They think they do in order to let you into the neighborhood or into the professional building, whatever But remember this these rent a cops and guards have about a fifth to an eighth grade education and don't speak English

[04:08] So you should make it a point to have a small a footprint as you can which is why it's not only prudent But actually kind of fun to play that Disinformation game as much as you can and don't forget you've always got that gringo advantage going for you Especially when you're off the tourist trail, which means in certain circumstances when dealing with latins with some authority real or otherwise over you often the flimsiest of excuses will get you through the ordeal simply due to your gringo advantage as Opposed to them dealing with the average latin For example, there are a lot of buildings and places and even events in Latin America where they frisk you before you go in You know, there's a guy at the door gal for women and you get the white pat down I don't know if they do that up in the US much probably in the Latin neighborhoods because they're used to it

[04:55] But down here, I can't even count that dozens and dozens of times They just kind of waved me through and didn't pat me down at all just because I was a gringo I stood in lines at these events and seeing a lot of this kind of pat down thing going on And strangely enough the guy or gal in charge makes no exceptions Except for the rare gringo and or scumbag politicians and their bodyguards So along the way some of the same privileges afforded to scumbag politicians are afforded to us gringos due to the gringo advantage That said get ready to be treated occasionally like a B grade rock star or ass wet politician Why fight it? So like I said these seventh and eighth grade educated rent accounts have no right asking you for your documents Much less take your document or documents and hold them while you're out there visiting a friend

[05:46] now you might find that when you're visiting your lawyer physician accountant or dentist that he or she has their office in one of Those big professional towers and you'll have to go through that rigmarole and note When you go past the guard and go up to the desk to sign in usually they'll have a sign larger small It says the only identity document we accept is the DPI which is the Latin version of the identity or residency card and you'll get a card like that when You get your permanent residency though It's probably gonna be just slightly different and have a different colored lettering somewhere on it It's just to differentiate you a foreigner from a natural born citizen So like I said, you'll see that sign when you walk into certain professional buildings, etc Even banks that says the only ID document we will accept is your DPI course

[06:35] It says that in Spanish, which is partial BS Because that's only true if you're a Latin person because you see if you're a visitor in that country or not from another Latin country You won't have a DPI will you which means if you're a gringo you can pull out practically any ID even your Cleveland library Card or your Darth Vader secret decoder card and that'll be good enough for that guy or gal at the desk You'll see for them It's a real novelty to look at someone else's ID card from a different country Same thing happens if you happen to get pulled over at one of those police roadblocks I guarantee when you're off the gringo tourist trail some cops gonna look at your Hawaiian driver's license and say hey What a coincidence my cousin Jorge lives in Atlanta, Georgia Then he'll ask you if you've ever run into him since of course, Atlanta, Georgia is only a short bus ride from Hawaii

[07:25] I'm not kidding you over the years. That's happened to me dozens of times Not just with cops of course, but at parties and in lions waiting at the bank That's what happens when you're a lone gringo in a place that rarely gets them now Even though most Latins off the gringo tourist trail have less than 20 words of bad English If you start talking or bonding with one of them in any way Say you're stuck in line at the bank for a half an hour face-to-face with somebody if you smile and say a few nice words You'll hear the cousin Julio story. Alright, of course, they won't tell you he's legal But you can assume that most of the time now if you nod and say well, maybe tell me what cousin Julio looks like then Especially if you're dealing with a friendly cop that just pulled you over You're looking at another half hour to 45 minute delay. You've bonded with this guy and now you're his new gringo best friend again

[08:14] It's that gringo advantage working for you. So where was a oh, yeah What I'm saying is if some rent a cop or security guard at a desk asks you for an ID Why give them all your real data go ahead and give them your Cleveland library card or better yet a Cleveland library card that you Photoshop with a few little changes in it, of course, so then you might ask could that catch up with you in the end? Could you get in trouble for that? Well, if you do it'd be the first case I ever heard of but I digress as usual. Where was I? Oh, yeah I was driving out of that very high-end upscale neighborhood as I drove out on the big bulletin board attached to the guard shack Was a list of about 10 or 12 people in that very wealthy subdivision of about 60 or 70 houses who had not paid their water or maintenance bill for get this the last three months and

[09:05] The time said if you don't pay up in seven days, you'll have your water immediately cut off now The cool thing I think anyway is they listed the names of all the did delinquent homeowners along with their house numbers and DPI numbers That's their national identity card numbers kind of a Latin scarlet letter if you know what I mean And my friend who lives in that upscale neighborhood an expat gringo someone from one of my expat wisdom seminars He rents and he told me he's really glad they have that bulletin board up there with delinquent payers because his own Landlord shows up on that sign every once in a while, even though he my gringo expat buddy paid his rent a year in advance So that should give you a little bit of an idea of the mentality of Latins Even the ones with a lot of money, even though as I've said many times before especially with the high rollers

[09:55] It's all about the show here You're judged by what kind of phone you have and what you drive and all that even so they don't seem to embarrass easily as one banker Fred of mine said Everyone seems to be maxed out on their credit cards and the so-called wealthy people of means are sometimes the worst Sound familiar? Oops. Don't think I'll say that anymore. It's a terrible cliche by now, isn't it? Now get this my banker friend also said that it's infinitely Preferable to be maxed out on your platinum card then to be denied with a regular or gold card At least when you pull out that platinum card, and it doesn't go through the cashier knows you're a person of importance Vip but I digress as usual. Where was I? Oh, yeah

[10:42] Get this my friend who rents and who paid up his rent for a year says he's received a cutoff notice Twice already and he really didn't know what to do because his Spanish sucked so bad that he didn't really know what the notice was Saying till he scanned it on his cell phone and sent it over to his landlord who instead of being Apologetic cuz remember he had a year's rent up front to play with he played that irate checks in the mail bit You know not his fault. They must have lost it or something. Anyway Imagine the tables turned like that where the owner of the place is telling you the renter that the checks in the mail Anyway, the point is in this neighborhood of very high rollers. There still are a lot of dead beats In fact, my ex-pat friend said there are only 12 dead beats on the bulletin board list now

[11:29] But there's generally between 20 and 30 and that's with only 60 or 70 houses in the whole subdivision and he said as it turns out he's been to a couple of the condo Association meetings and surprise surprise almost all of the dead beats on the lists are either Lard-ass thieving shit for brains government workers as my gringo friend so eloquently puts it or surprise surprise lawyers sound familiar Oops. Sorry. I promised I wasn't gonna say that anymore Anyway, now remember this is a neighborhood that's got more bodyguards and black bulletproof SUVs than residents Also, remember if you're a gringo of some moderate means and you feel like paying between 800 to 1,500 a month for rent

[12:15] Those are the kind of jerk-offs that are gonna be your neighbors. Okay now changing gears a bit You remember on the last show? I think it was the last show I talked about NGOs Those are non-governmental organizations and I mentioned that after 60 years of these things being in existence Almost nothing has changed except the fatter wallets and the bigger perks of the administrators of these programs In fact, there are probably even more poor destitute undernourished and undereducated people in the third world than ever now That said and I might sound like a hypocrite from here on in that doesn't mean you can't get a job with one of these Organizations and get a nice salary yourself courtesy of some do-gooder Organization up of the states or some stupid first-world government donations Yep If you could snag a job at one of these NGOs down here you two could go through the motions file papers

[13:05] Do nothing and help no one and still earn a princely sum by Latin standards that is I mean, let's face it These jobs are out there They're advertised all the time and someone's got to do it because you know If you look in the classified ads of any of the big Latin newspapers or on any of the big internet sites that have classified ads Down here. You'll see that these NGOs are advertising for people all the time That means there always is a chance for you expat Go on a bees and wannabes who are wondering if your own job Qualifications or career up in the first world will qualify you for a similar job down here in Latin America That way you wouldn't have to do what most Gringos and expats do once they get down here is start their own business That is those gringos and expats that feel they have to get a job and want to work as far as I can see

[13:50] About one quarter of the expats that come down I retired and have some kind of income so they don't really have to work though often They eventually do work because they get bored or have some kind of an interest then There's that other three quarters of expats of non-retirement age They're looking to make some money and eventually find something usually they spot an opportunity or a niche and they jump on it again That's part of your gringo advantage Anyway, even though starting your own business is almost always the best way to go I still get emails from people who say Johnny. Look, I really have never started a business before in my life I've always worked for the man I don't like working for the man But I have a career a degree and I was successful in that career and I'd really like to come down in Possibly work for a company or organization down there

[14:38] So I do get emails like that and as I've mentioned in past shows, that's always possible But you're never gonna make the kind of money you made up in the states You're gonna make about a third even a quarter of that Now for example thirty or forty thousand dollars a year in the states for a professional for let's say an accountant a systems analyst Or an engineer is not only an insult You probably wouldn't even roll out of bed in the morning for that kind of dough But down here, like I said thirty or forty grand is a princely sum Especially since you'll be in the tax bracket of that Latin country you're working in You won't be paying US taxes anymore Which whether you want to believe it or not when you add all the taxes and the fees you have to pay works out To 50% or more now I know this might be hard to believe but it's almost a given that you'll be paying less than

[15:24] 10% of your income in total taxes and remember if you're working down here in Latin America on the books You'll get that foreign earned income tax exemption of about a hundred thousand eight hundred dollars a year So you can make up to that amount and not pay any US taxes If you're living as a resident in a Latin country and doing business there that is generating income You will be paying taxes to that local entity but unlike the patently unfair tax policies of the US a country that Taxes you on your worldwide income that is if you live in the States or are a resident there Note that Latin countries and no one else for that matter except the US will tax you a dime on income That comes from a foreign source So if you're living in and doing business in a Latin country, you'll pay their taxes

[16:13] But if you're living in a Latin country, even if you have residency and your income is coming from a foreign source Let's say you have an internet business or SA Corporation domiciled somewhere else say in Jamaica You can transfer as little or as much as that money as you want to where you live in Latin America And you will not be taxed on it unless the money is actually made in the Latin country You're living in that is the country where you have residency Now if you haven't made your residency outside the US then you're gonna have to report all that dough the US and pay taxes on it So don't be stupid get out while you can. Okay, that said I mentioned there's a lot of these scumbag NGOs That is seemingly innocuous do-gooder Non-governmental organizations that just might hire you if you have the right credentials

[17:02] They run ads all the time and again, they'd much rather have a gringo Which is why a lot of these ads are in English However, and nearly all these job ads they also say you must know a minimum amount of Spanish They don't say how much they just say you have to know some Spanish now Let me read you from this quarter page ad that appeared in the biggest Honduran newspaper last week It's an ad for a job and guess what the Peace Corps in Honduras Now, of course, we've all heard about the Peace Corps. It is an old established NGO You know one of those non-governmental organizations that's very big on photo ops and publicity as well as big on rounding up young impressionable Volunteer do-gooder college students though, if you check it out very short on actual long-term results

[17:50] So let me read from parts of this ad that's in English who knows you might want to apply for this yourself Now note off the gringo tourist trail about one in every 30 or 40 newspaper ads is in English often by the way in defective English And that's done with many bilingual job openings to weed out the people instantly whose English sucks Like I said off the gringo tourist trail Especially if a native Spanish speaker knows how to read and write English at let's say 80% It's a highly valued skill and jobs for bilingual speakers pay about 25% more than the very same jobs Where only Spanish is required? So anyway, this Peace Corps job ad in Honduras, and I'm reading directly says in English US Peace Corps in Honduras seeks to contract a food security

[18:40] program manager required and referred qualifications are a University degree in either education international development community or international development social work health small business development or Agriculture or natural resources Those are the degrees that are preferred for this job be two years of progressively responsible experience in food programs including experience in the development of plans and the analysis and evaluation of data See ability to summarize and regularly present your findings in a written and oral form See it's preferred to have experience in managing program budgets D Fluency in English and Spanish is required yet. They really don't say to what degree

[19:31] He prior knowledge and understanding of the Peace Corps philosophy and goals is highly desired The did they really need to say that F? knowledge of USA ID Project monitoring evaluation and reporting is preferred now just a little aside here You know in past shows I mentioned USA ID is one of the very biggest NGOs throughout Latin America and the world But what it really is is a front for the CIA just look it up Oh, and by the way, if you put USAID is an NSA or CIA front in your web browser on The very first search page you'll find titles of articles like this quote USAID

[20:17] CIA front in desperate need of adult supervision or USAID a history of front companies acting on the behalf of the CIA how about this one CIA front USAID gearing up in Ukraine and This the murderous history of USAID a US government front and there's hundreds of articles like that So here we have a quarter page ad for the US Peace Corps Seeking to contract a food security program manager and it says right in there required and preferred Qualifications that you should have a knowledge of USAID project monitoring evaluation and reporting Are you seeing the connections here and why these NGOs are at best suspect and at worst fraudulent?

[21:03] But wait a minute. There are more requirements for this job. It says Applicants should have the ability to develop a range of high-level government and other contacts Now last but not least it says must have the ability to operate a manual four-wheel drive vehicle When on rural roads, okay, then it says the food security program manager That's the job. They're advertising for will work under the overall Programmatic guidance of the Honduran food security project plan with and here's the kicker USAID that lovable CIA front with all those heavily fortified triple secure buildings Strategically located in capital cities of every Latin country. I threw that last part in myself. Anyway

[21:53] Then it says as food security program manager the job they're advertising for you'll work under the guidance of You guessed it USAID Hmm, and then we get to the dough It says your annual compensation range will be from thirty six thousand to forty thousand dollars based on salary history and experience Then it says you must be a Honduran resident at the time of application So there you have it. Are you going to be some wannabes a typical example of a suspect NGO? Non-governmental organization working in a Latin country looking for someone with a degree in either education international development Community international development social work health small business development agricultural or natural resources

[22:41] By the way up in the states any one of those degrees will get you a very nice waitressing job at Starbucks Now remember I said thirty to forty thousand bucks a year for a single person is a princely some down here However, if you end up working for one of these NGOs or on some kind of first world transnational contract deal And you're sent down to Latin America You'll find your company or NGO will lay a lot of restrictions on you for example where you can live They take their playbook from the US Embassy Which is why all the embassy personnel end up spending most of their time in a clone of a high buck first world Enclave paying first world prices for most things too They just never get out of that rut Which is why so many NGO folks and embassy folks as well as gringo is working at transnational

[23:27] Corporations end up hanging at the gringo expat bars and almost never get a chance to mingle with real down-to-earth lens The fact is over the years I've met a lot of first world gringos who work for transnationals down here in Latin America and Almost none of them got hired from local wanted 99% of them were recruited up in the states and shipped down and they just like all the embassy People I've ever met live in sort of gilded cages meaning they rarely go out and explore the real country on their own They're kind of biding their time and collecting their dough until their terms up hoping to get transferred to a more developed place like Hong Kong Or Singapore Tokyo or Europe reminds me of a few years back when Harrison Ford was visiting Antigua, Guatemala Now that town especially back then was very nice and safe

[24:15] Yet the guy at the front desk of the hotel told me that Harrison Ford was such a scaredy ass chicken shit He wouldn't walk out of the front door of his nice colonial hotel without his bodyguard or a signed guide holding his hand the front desk guy told me good old indie Jones had a nice yellow streak problem was he believed all that bad state Department PR, but of course you knew all that already. All right changing gears a bit I just talked to my brother up in Chicago and you know every time we have a conversation He tells me about things happening up in big brotherland that if they had occurred in the 60s and 70s would have practically caused riots For example, he told me the last couple years He's been paying five or six hundred bucks for his private health insurance policy And he's a 50 year old single guy and now he tells me he just got to notice they're raising his premium to

[25:03] 1100 bucks a month and he's got a five or is it six thousand dollar? deductible and you'll have to kick in another 250 bucks a month if he wants to get in on the drug plan and Now, you know, I've been away from the US a long long time 25 years or so and when hearing numbers like that They just don't register with me because like I've been telling you listeners all along down here in Latin America You could get a first-class first world style health insurance plan for between 60 and a hundred bucks a month for someone aged 50 with get this a deductible anywhere from $50 to a maximum of $500 depending on the length of your visit and if something happens and you're stuck going to the emergency room. There's a whopping get this $50

[25:50] Deductible now I'm talking about a specific plan that I know of that a lot of expats are on right now But note in every big city in Latin America and in every Latin country They have dozens of such plans and how's this for a shocker the most expensive double platinum plan I've ever seen here in Latin America one with every single bell and whistle you can think of meaning with a dental and a drug plan and with no deductible for anything a plan like that for a single person Runs a whopping 200 bucks a month and by the way knowing the health insurance plans down here like I do I'd say that particular plan was overpriced and I wouldn't recommend it But the thing is you see many a gringo and expat wants a plan that has worldwide coverage Which this double platinum plan has so bottom line all you listeners up there who are crying about Obamacare and you're

[26:38] Guyrocketing premiums and crappy health care options. I asked you the same question. I asked my brother. What's your limit? What's your breaking point? How much more that big brother state abuse? Are you willing to take you really owe it to yourself to get off the fence and come down to Latin America and check it Out for yourself, and that's a good lead-in to plug my July 2015 expat wisdom seminar He kicks off in a little over a month, and there's still time to sign up So just go to expat wisdom calm click on the Latin seminar link on the top of the page Check it out and sign up and yes We'll be personally visiting one of those first-class hospital and clinics that I'm always talking about and you know the truth is people say Yeah, yeah I want to come I'll get there sooner or later But you have to know it's getting harder and harder to get yourself and your assets out of the country in fact the whole

[27:24] Thing is getting pretty tricky, but note if you come down to the expat wisdom seminar We'll help you with a personalized plan and show you just how to do that South of the border Down Mexico you've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com And don't forget to check out expat wisdom calm to sign up for your free reports on Latin America See you next time nos vemos