#477 – The Expat Files: Life in Latin America, Economic Crises, and Cultural Insights

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wander Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here, so let's get started now You know I have quite a few listeners in Venezuela believe it or not I get emails from people there all the time and man if you've got dollars down there right now you rule however If people know you have dollars you could get mugged or disappear because you see the official

[00:47] Exchange rate for US dollars to bolivars is six point three. That's six point three bolivars to the buck But now things are so bad especially since the price of oil is quite low Comparatively, and that's pretty much the only export. They've got the so-called black or gray market exchange rate the dollar to a bolivar is 79 times the official rate meaning of course if you take a dollar down to the bank you'll get 6.3 bolivars because banks operate at the official rate they have to but if you walk across the street You'll find the money changers will give you get this 500 bolivars for $1 that's 6.3 versus 500 which is why Nobody, I mean nobody is using banks in Venezuela to change to the local funny money

[01:38] That is nobody except importers and exporters who have to use the banking system Which is why there's a shortage of everything including toilet paper Tampexes and of course like I've mentioned in the past show believe it or not but and breast implants, too Which is why Venezuelan women who are just in love with plastic surgery are Slipping across the border to Colombia to get those surgeries done so those formerly somewhat wealthy Venezuelan docks are actually selling off some of their prized possessions I mean they have to maintain their somewhat higher standard of living now Don't they so they're selling off their newer high-end cars and trading down now the only thing that's ridiculously cheap Or virtually free over there is gasoline because like I said in a past show you can fill up for around

[02:23] 15 cents, but then again you have to have a car first and now it turns out only about two Percent of the Venezuelan public can afford to buy a car even a rusted out junker So new car dealerships are virtually empty Most have gone bankrupt except for the ones that are supplying parts and maintenance Anyway, Venezuela has the highest inflation rate in the Western world, too. Now. It's at 68.5% a year however, as usual since the government publishes those figures their total lies and the people on the street are saying inflation is more like 500% a year when dealing with basic commodities. Meanwhile as elections will be coming up President Maduro has jailed his opponents So much for that populist brand of socialism that always seems to arrive along with a soft-handed

[03:14] Dictator what I mean by that is that there are no firing squads or midnight round-ups where dissidents just disappear But there is no freedom of the press or expression or speech Now if you have boots on the ground in Venezuela like I had just about a year ago when the official weight was around 6.8 boulevards to the dollar and right across the street from the bank The money changers were giving 50 to the dollar back then a year ago things were very bad There were lines for milk three and four blocks long I thought the place was gonna implode any second and now today is 500 boulevards to the dollar a Thousand percent worse and now they're telling me the Chinese have arrived to put Humpty Dumpty back together again Yep, and they're taking no prisoners

[04:00] leasing renting buying up giant tracks of empty buildings in vacant land and Businesses that still have a spark of life left in them So just like in the book the art of war the Chinese are coming in with open arms as rescuers even saviors But their real agenda is not hard to guess in a few years They'll end up owning and controlling everything there Just like they're doing in Panama right now and for those of you who've been asking me about the Chinese in the rest of Latin America that is off the gringo tourist trail You will find they do own quite a lot of clothing and Makila businesses and of course Chinese restaurants They're really heavy and apparel and textile production and associated import and export So they own things but in actuality, they're not very visible at all

[04:47] For example, if you're walking around town in a Latin big city or in any shopping center low medium or high-end You might spot an Asian shopper or two, but I'd say only about 1 in 500 people down here is Asian So whole days can go by when you're doing your shopping and your chores and you just might not see an Asian person at all Except of course if you're in Panama or believe it or not Argentina where they seem to be buying up that place, too You can't go shopping or walk around in a fairly busy area without seeing an Asian person or 10 every couple minutes because you know the Chinese own the Panama Canal and Everything around it do a search. You'll see what I mean now It might sound like I'm painting all Asians with the same broad brush, but that's what Latins do 24 7 to them

[05:34] Every Asian is simply a Chino. That means Chinese South Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese. It doesn't matter They're all Chinos to Latins. C-H-I-N-O-S The average Latin makes absolutely no distinction between Asian countries. Why? Well, that's because Latins are geographically and culturally ignorant Sound familiar? Now, of course, Latins don't know any better. They're not mean-spirited about it. But since everyone's a Chino Asians have to accept they're gonna be called that. Now, I know they don't like it But if they're gonna live in Latin America, that's life For example, a South Korean guy that I know just despises being called a Chino But he puts on a happy face and bites his tongue because he knows it's futile to try to explain the differences And like he said when he does try to explain they nod and smile

[06:23] But the next time he sees him he's back to being a Chino again So except for Panama, Argentina and Venezuela when you're off the gringo tourist trail You'll see a very very very minute population of Asians And the only time you might run into them is if you're shopping at a convenience store They seem to own a lot of them and they're heavily involved in retail wholesale and manufacture of clothing items So if you're shopping at a cut-rate clothing store You just might notice that one of the guys or gals hanging around is an older Asian person the owner Oh, and by the way by now I believe Panama has 324-7 Asian television stations So, you know, there's a high population there and you'll see a few Asians even running for political office in Panama

[07:10] You won't see that anywhere else in Latin America So then you might ask and a lot of people ask I get emails like this all the time They're asking what about the infiltration of Muslims in Latin America? Because after all if you're living up in the States right now I'm sure you've heard the stories of how Muslims are sneaking into the States illegally to join their cells So what about Muslims in Latin America? Well, I can tell you this for every 20 Asians There's probably one Muslim meaning you rarely see them, but they are down here Oh, and by the way, Latins who like I said before are very very ignorant of a geography Customs and cultures of other races sound familiar. They call everyone of Middle Eastern descent except the Jewish people Arabis

[07:56] a r a b e s Arabis Translation Arabs, of course if some Middle Eastern person says he's from Turkey then he'll be introduced as a turkeysa Or if he's from Palestine is Palestine Oh or from Egypt a hip toe But as a general term they call every one of them Arabis now some Latins will call them Muslims by their religion, even if they're Christians It doesn't matter to Latins if they're Arabis. They're Muslims In fact if you explain to the average Latin that some of them are Christians You kind of get that deer in the headlight look like you're pulling my leg, right? So then do you run into them sometime down here once in a while?

[08:42] I can say I personally probably spot one or two of them every week or so Imagine that and I get around now, of course in every medium and large Latin City They have their Middle Eastern restaurants owned by so-called ada bees And by the way, those restaurants are the general gathering places for the farfully and hummus crowd In fact every time I go to a Middle Eastern restaurant, you know when I need my hummus fix I'll generally see five or ten Middle Eastern people hanging around eating whatever and that's the most so-called ada bees I've ever seen in one place at one time. So besides Middle Eastern restaurants Where do these guys live in work and hang out? Well in every medium and large Latin City There'll be a dirty grungy low-end commercial district usually in one of the older parts of town

[09:28] Places were poor and average Latin people shop because it's dirt cheap there In other words tons and tons of pirated stuff. That's where you'll occasionally see a so-called ada be owned business Jewelry sometimes clothing import export The fact is it's rare to go to a medium or a high-end mall for example and find any stores that are owned or operated by Muslims or ada bees. Oh and notice that down here nearly every Middle Eastern woman follows a strict Muslim code For example when you're in a mall or commercial center and you see one of them pushing a kid or just walking around You will notice that if it's a couple the guy will be pretty westernized Maybe he'll just have a little beard, but the woman she'll be all burked out She'll be covered nearly from head to toe in typical Muslim woman fashion

[10:16] So the Muslim and Arab guys down here can play fast and loose with Western culture and fashion However, they're women they're still stuck back in the 15th century I guess they have to be because you know if they don't the consequences can be severe So contrary to popular first-world beliefs Latin America is not Overrun or flooded with a steady train of Muslims or people from the Middle East. Oh, they're here All right, but very very conspicuously inconspicuous and about those infamous mosques Well in a fairly big city like for example San Salvador It's a city in the metro area that has about a million people and you'll see a grand total of two small mosques Same thing with Guatemala City

[11:02] They've got one mosque and Guatemala City's got about two million people which really proves What a tiny tiny fraction of the population is made up of Middle Eastern people? Oh, and here's a little story for you one Latin lady I know owns an upscale spa in a very nice upscale commercial center first world all the way You know it's one of those places where you can get aromatherapy and hot rocks on your back Facials massages saunas Botox laser lipo skin fillers So, you know, it's your typical ladies upscale spa, although maybe 20% of her clients are guys and she tells me it every three weeks Or a month or so a couple of ada be guys will come in Middle Eastern guys You know usually buddies in pairs and always a different group every time now

[11:49] She emphasized to me that she has no repeat ada be customers Why because she says when they come in their Spanish is always pretty horrible They come in for just one thing a massage and they always assume that it's one of those So called happy ending massage parlors, which that place isn't and never was it's obvious looking at the place It's high class and those happy ending parlors are always in seedier sections of town Anyway, the owner tells me when these ada be guys come in they want a massage and the ladies working there Always report back to the owner that these guys make absolute pests out of themselves when they find out there is no happy ending In fact, she says some of these guys insult the massage therapist and they have to actually have me jacked it

[12:35] So down here in Latin America, at least there's a huge double standard going on the Middle Eastern so-called ada be guys Western eyes themselves and hit the happy ending massage parlors while the women are stuck with the kids and the burkas So then people have asked what about the Jewish element? Well, I can tell you this all throughout Latin America in the capital cities. There is an Israeli embassy and man There is so fortified and triple protected. They make the other embassies look like prefab mom-and-pop shops Well, I guess it's nothing more than you might expect because they're always getting hassled all over the world Anyway, there is a Jewish contingent in every medium and large Latin City So all cities have a temple or two also quite well guarded and looked after and note unlike the so-called

[13:21] Atterby's in Latin America the first wave of the Jewish contingency came down a long long time ago Sometimes a hundred or so years ago Which is why if you ever do meet a Jew down here and there aren't many of them either Some are so Latin American eyes that they don't even speak English or Yiddish for that matter In fact over the years, I've met quite a few Jews that look absolutely like Latin Americans, too No, they're not exactly short dark and brown. They're tall dark and brown Obviously because it was their Jewish ancestors that came many decades ago and intermarried to some degree with the locals now No, it like I said the Jewish contingency in medium and large Latin cities isn't very very small But they have a lot of power turns out a huge proportion of businesses business centers high-rise projects

[14:10] Hotels agricultural landholdings coffee plantations coca-cola franchise, etc Are owned by long-standing various that was Jewish families and note that sometimes when you look in the back pages of the newspapers in the obituary Section you'll see someone who recently died with a typical Latin name like Juan Carlos Mendez followed by a common German Jewish Mother's last name like Stein or Cohen or Goldberg or vice versa What that says is some families who've been down here a very long time have intermarried somewhere along the line So Latin names are mixed with some Jewish names so basically that small Jewish contingency down here in most of Latin America is Generally very well off very well organized very cultured very educated at the same time

[15:00] Very Latin iced not to mention as families with old money tend to be quite low profile to and even with all their holdings Pretty much keep to themselves Now in the last maybe 30 years a certain younger Jewish contingent has come down because of all the outsourcing that's hit the first world So nowadays you have a younger often wealthy to Jewish contingent in the textiles Fabric and clothing factory businesses and these guys as you might have figured are 100% American businessmen They're typical gringo expats just like me except for the fact they have a lot more money and are pretty much in a specific Industry the clothing and textile biz so even though for example in the whole country of Nicaragua or El Salvador There are maybe only

[15:46] 2,000 Jewish people total you'd never know it now. I got that number from one of my close Jewish friends How else would I know right? Anyway, even though their numbers are so very small. They have great influence down here in commerce business and industry So like I said, you have the old very well-established Jewish families that own a lot of big properties and control in some cases Whole industries like hotels and coffee though You'd never know that as an expat when you come down here unless you actually met some Jewish people who could then Explain that all to you because if for example you were to ask the concierge and the hotel intercontinental in Panama Just who owns that hotel chances are the person would rattle off the top guy's name Jose Fernando Flores Martinez

[16:32] Whatever without even knowing at all there was a Jewish connection, which is as it should be who cares, right? So the Jews that have been down here many many years blend in with Latin society perfectly And you know a lot of the newer arrivals like I said that are in the clothing industry doing the outsourcing down here They end up dating and marrying regular beautiful Latin girls who oftentimes don't happen to be Jewish at all So there's a lot of mixing there going on too and since from what I understand the Jewish blood passes through the mother a lot of these ladies will convert to Judaism just so the kids will be brought up in the traditional Jewish faith Now the funny thing is like I said a lot of newer rival Jewish guys that means in the last 30 years or so They've married beautiful Latin women and these women are died in the world Catholic

[17:22] I mean, that's the culture down here, right? And then generally due to a bit of pressure from their husbands They will convert to Judaism though. They hardly ever buy into it hook line and sinker They just do it for the kids sake because you know that Catholicism and Christian stuff dies hard. That's for sure In fact, as far as Latin Americans go it never really dies at all Which is probably why I never met a Latin atheist or even agnostic Oh, and by the way in every Latin country, there's a tiny tiny contingent of Hasidic Jews, too And believe me, they really keep to themselves You know the guys in the black robes and the funny hats and the curly Q hair falling down by the years But you have to be down here a long long time to ever see one of those guys on his home turf

[18:08] There's just so few of them. I think in my 25 plus years down here I've only seen maybe 10 or 15 total at most so they are here and they're tight little groups And they prefer to remain isolated from the rest of the Jewish population in the neighborhood Even though it's a very very small population to begin with like I said between Nicaragua and Salvador Maybe only 2,000 people Now to tell you the truth some of the American-born expat Jews living down here are sort of embarrassed by the whole Hasidic Jew thing And they've told me so I've heard some of my Jewish buddies say that if it wasn't for these guys who just stick out like a sore thumb There'd be a lot less Jewish backlash around the world because well They just refuse to blend in and when you move to someone else's country it is all about blending in now, isn't it?

[18:57] so bottom line if you're an Arab you can come down and find like-minded souls if you're an Asian or as they say a Chino down here, you'll find like-minded souls if you're Jewish you'll find like-minded souls Bottom line whatever ethnic group or race you will be able to find Commonalities down here if you so choose not that you'd necessarily want to but it is an option In fact one of my Jewish friends in the garment business actually wanted to find himself a nice Jewish wife Sure, he had Latina girlfriends over the years and was in love a few times But he decided he wanted to have a more conventional Jewish family thing in fact He was a non-practicing Jew and he didn't want to marry a Latin girl and go through the conversion process because he knew He probably wouldn't hold up through it. That's what he said

[19:43] So even though he was practically an atheist He joined the temple just to find himself a nice Jewish wife and he did and now he's got his family And he's living happily ever after so like he said he got what he wanted except for one thing He doesn't believe any of it and can't stand going to temple nor does he hang with her even get along with the true believers And though his wife and kids go every week. They just can't budge him and never will he likes to say I found my nice Jewish wife by making a deal with the devil and now every Sabbath She goes to temple and me and my buddy Beelzebub have time to hang out a bit Okay change in gears now. Let's go to an email and this one comes from Robert. He says Don Johnny It's fascinating the price of Bitcoin has risen about 9% in the last week

[20:30] Most likely as a result of the Greek financial crisis now Bitcoin after being stuck at about 155 pounds Give or take a pound for many months before China banned it and therefore at a time when the Chinese were very much into Speculating on it. It was about at 255 pounds then when it took that hit My guess was that big decline was due mostly to Chinese speculators exiting the market when it was banned now Greece is a tiny little economy But it's probably the only thing happening right now to account for that 9% rise in Bitcoin after being flat for so many months Therefore it stands to reason that when the next or other Mediterranean country goes the same way the price will be Proportionately greater for example France is about 12 times bigger than Greece, Italy's bigger by 9 times

[21:21] Spain's about 7 times bigger than Greece and Portugal the same size Just wait when something happens to one of those countries or the US the price of bitcoins could go to the moon Okay, Robert just a little comment about Bitcoin, you know, I like Bitcoin But traditional forces like banks and governments hate it and they'll write laws and use any kind of subterfuge to undermine it So there's a war going on which is why I believe it's so artificially low right now But the upside is even if it's very low if you do it, right You can move money in and out of countries very anonymously with Bitcoin now if you're buying and selling just to speculate Well, that's an option to your logic's right. It should go to the moon It makes sense that when traditional economies collapse people rush into Bitcoin

[22:09] So basically Bitcoin rises on international crisis and falls on forced government market manipulation like for example, China Banning it so my advice is to have some foreign property Some gold and silver in your possession and some bitcoins not to mention at least six months worth of US cash Stuffed in your mattress, perhaps why because you'll need it when the banks and the ATMs crash like Robert said Greece has crashed the ATMs have closed and so of the banks which begs the question What are you gonna do when it happens in Milwaukee or Cleveland got a plan B? Are you ready for that? Okay on to another email. This one comes from one of my repeat expat wisdom seminar attendees I do have repeat offenders, you know, in fact, he's living down here in Latin America right now

[22:57] His name is Captain Mango a self-anointed slash appointed tropical superhero I guess we needed one didn't we now some of you might recognize him from a few of the emails He sent to Richard Martin's show lately Anyway, Captain Mango's email seems to be a response to an email I read a couple of weeks ago on the show It came from a listener in the UK who said he'd never come to Latin America because he figured it was too poor Too chaotic and too dangerous. You can go back in the archives and listen to that show if you want to catch up but here's Captain Mango's response to that and remember Captain Mango's a super gringo of sorts who's been living down here in Latin America for some Time now, so he does have an inside track. He says and I'll paraphrase this a bit here

[23:43] Dear Johnny after listening to the last couple shows of yours I feel I need to quote Struther Martin and cool hand Luke what we have here is a failure to communicate Some people you just can't reach Specifically that UK listener of yours who said that the third world had hygiene issues, etc The fact is he ought to be looking in his own backyard Did you know it's a fact that a recent study shows that 25% of all people in the UK have measurable fecal matter on their hands 24-7 and he says the third world has hygiene issues You know, he strikes me as the kind of chisler who buys a book reads it scans it gives it to his friends then as for a refund a guy who just wants free information

[24:29] Forever and would never really fork the dole over to attend one of your seminars Johnny I don't think he's got a clue what your seminar can do for an expat wannabe now as to his comment That he thought there may be some developing animosity towards gringos that are wealthy and look down on the impoverished Down there in Latin America. Well, unless you are a thirst and howl the third anal type you need not worry There are plenty of wealthy arrogant Latino anal types to treat the poor like crap and they will far outdo any pretentious gringos in that effort Though I do advise any snooty uppity expat wannabes to drop that act or you won't have many friends down here either The key is to treat Latin folks fair whatever class they come from and any time you can

[25:16] Try to help them to help themselves You reap what you sow and you sow what you reap now concerning the dilemma of wannabe couples emigrating to Latin America You could say I'm somewhat of an expert on that topic That's what forced me captain mango into early retirement after being shot through the heart only to be revived by Multiple mango and tequila transfusions I Realized the folly of trying to save the weaker sex in the hood from their food stamp and Obama phone addictions, etc Like most failed plans the couple expat thing does work on paper Anyway, if it doesn't work out There are plenty of truly loyal partners with much less baggage available down here as far as what's happening with me down here

[26:04] In Latin America the war on killer coconuts has failed as has the war on gravity Now you Johnny have pointed out there have been more people killed by coconuts in Latin America about 150 people a year Then people killed by terrorists and sharks up in the US in the last 10 years I'll have you know I was involved in that battle with coconuts and gravity involving tequila as a weapon and well gravity one Coconuts, you know our pesky creatures with a mind of their own and you can't be everywhere and save everyone unless of course you place A camera on every single coconut tree in Latin America, so we'll need some government funding for that one and don't forget We'll need an adequate drone force, too Yes, so naturally Obama will have to appoint a coconut czar and herewith I nominate Al Sharpton

[26:53] Oh and by the way for all those gung-ho sphincter wipes who want to join a terrorist organization why not join the US military the largest and best funded terrorist organization in the world and You don't have to go alone You could go with a lot of other like-minded pinheads And that's just what they'll treat you like when you're out in disabled from coconut war syndrome and have to go to the VA for treatment Anyway, Johnny feel free to read somewhere all of this as you please Regards and may much tropical fruit and many mangoes grace your life Sincerely, Captain Mango. Thanks for that captain. And by the way, I'm in the midst of my seminar right now So I'll be reporting on that next week You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border

[27:42] Email me the expat files at gmail.com And don't forget to check out expat wisdom.com to sign up for your free reports on Latin America See you next time. Nos vemos