#508 – The Expat Files: Life in Latin America, Craftsmanship, and Cultural Challenges

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America the show that tells you just what it's like to live Work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Okay for all of you guys and gals up there living in that particle board and drywall world up in the states I mean, that's what it's come to right Seems like all furniture and appliances come from China these days and of course, that's all press particle board

[00:46] You know wood shavings and glue. Well, like I always say when you come down here to Latin America, you've got some Fantastic hardwoods stuff that never makes it to the first world for one a lot of it's considered exotic and endangered However down here as much as you've heard the force have been clear-cut There still seems to be plenty of that exotic hardwood to go around just go to any lumber company They've got stacks and stacks and buildings and buildings full So yes, some of that stuff's considered endangered But there are other types of more common hardwoods that never get exported to the states either You want to know why? Because it's almost impossible to do the paperwork Necessary to get it approved for sale up in the states in the first world little example here Well, you may or may not know that over the years along with a lot of the other crazy things

[01:34] I've done besides going around the world twice. I've been a semi professional musician Started when I was six years old with accordion and cello. How about that? I still have a really nice collection of vintage guitars from the 60s and 70s I have them down here in Latin America, by the way, too Nope, I didn't buy them at vintage prices. I bought them before there was even a vintage market Anyway, all you musicians know that your equipment does need some maintenance on occasion Especially if it's made out of wood like a guitar or piano for that matter. So about three or four years ago I went looking for someone to do a little repair job on a Martin d28 guitar. I have that's 1965 now I bought that guitar up in the states for around 50 bucks in 1980 back then there was no such thing as a vintage guitar market at all

[02:22] And well, I bought it from an old hillbilly going through a divorce selling off all his equipment You know that happens a lot in the white trash trailer court music community Anyways, so I bought this Martin d28 and I hauled it around the world ever since along with a couple other of my favorites 1970 Fender Jazz bass and a 1967 Les Paul, how about that amongst other things? Well about two or three years ago I pulled out my old Martin guitar. I noticed the pick guard was peeling off the body of the guitar I checked an original celluloid pick guard on the internet They were going for around 10 or 15 bucks including shipping now while I was on eBay I checked my own guitar to see what it was worth. What a surprise guitars like mine were going from five to twelve

[03:10] Thousand US dollars remember I paid 250 for this thing I didn't realize a couple years ago. How crazy the so-called vintage guitar market had become However, that's in the US and Europe. There is no vintage guitar market in Latin America So if you keep your eyes open and you know what you're doing You could actually make a business out of buying and selling but that's another thing So anyway at the time I was down in Central America And I went to some of the local big music stores and asked around who if supplied with the right parts could do that Kind of work, you know replace my pick guard but not just anyone I wanted an artist a guy who really knew what he was doing and Musicians all around were telling me the same thing There's an old guy in his 70s named Luther Iglesias. Who's a master instrument maker

[03:55] He's made all kinds of musical instruments all his life So by hook and crook I found this guy's little workshop and believe me Took me hours and hours to find it and I was only within maybe four or five blocks the whole time And man, when you see this guy's house, you know, he lives alone doesn't have a cleaning lady a wife or a gardener The house is maybe a hundred years old paint peeling falling apart Basically, it looks like no one's done any repairs on it for 50 years But inside the place boy, you got to see inside that place. So how old is this guy? I'm guessing maybe 75 80 Yet he makes some of the most beautiful guitars and basses and cellos and violins you name it that you've ever seen Oh, and he makes congas and drum sets to all 100% by hand now, of course, he's only an old-time master woodwork and knows nothing about electronics

[04:45] So when it comes to the electronics in a guitar or bass, whatever he has a couple of hotshot young college-age electronics whizzes Workout where the electronics are gonna go in the pickups and they do the fine-tuning on that stuff But he does all the rest. So anyway, I bought in my slightly damaged 1965 box guitar in there and he looked at it and said wow That's a guitar. What a piece of workmanship. Of course, you know, it's 50 years old. Anyway, he looked at it and said Yeah, I can fix this thing and he said come back in three days I did and instantly I noticed he didn't use a pick guard bought off an eBay or any other place on the internet He handmade one out of a piece of fantastic hardwood my cost about 18 bucks

[05:30] He was a real artist. All right on my little job. Well, it was a thing of beauty So anyway from time to time I stopped in that guy's shop and kibbitz with the other musicians that come in They're kind of like Floyd's Barber shop, you know from Andy Griffith There's always a great interesting mix of people coming in and out of that place things weird and fantastic go on there, too Jam sessions, of course Philosophical and political discussions all the time So I guess it is a little more heady than shooting the breeze with Andy and Barney and Floyd's Barber shop Anyway, about two years ago or so a professional musician from LA came down to one of my expat insider seminars And he ended up moving down. He's here permanently now So naturally he and I having something in common like that We began talking about the musical scene in Latin America

[06:18] Specifically Central America and he wanted to get the inside track on the music scene. So naturally I said hey There's an old luthier artist a guitar maker and his workshop is the gathering place for a lot of musicians So I brought him over to that little guy's workshop in that crazy ass neighborhood now. I don't mean crazy ass dangerous It's just that there's no rhyme or reason to the way it's laid out like the original surveyors were a bunch of drunks There's not a square or straight block in the whole area, which is typical of many many cities in Latin America But I digress. Anyway, I mentioned this whole guy a couple of times to my new LA friend and he said, oh, yeah I just gotta meet him. In fact, as soon as he walked in the place, the wheel started turning in his head He said to the guy man, how about if I market this stuff in the States, you know custom-made instruments

[07:09] I'll do all the groundwork and the legwork and the old guy said sure why not give it a try and in the Meantime the old guy said why don't you look at my YouTube video? Some of these hotshot young guys that you see coming in and how to hear all the time. They put one together for me It's a nice showcase of the stuff I can do and what kind of instruments I can make You can probably use that to promote my work By the way, that said I urge you to go to that YouTube site. It's quite a thing to see You want to see some fantastic artistry? Check it out right now. Just go to YouTube and plug in luthier Ramon Iglesias luthier Ramon Iglesias You know luthier means guitar and wood instrument maker. So it's luthier Ramon

[07:56] Iglesias with an I Iglesias and then while you're at YouTube plug in Iglesias instruments for another short YouTube video where they interview him and some of the people who own his guitars Now note it says young electronic whizzes that put this YouTube together But you can see his workshop and just what kind of rustic but adequate conditions he works in I mean, it really is like going back in time a hundred years Anyway, my new music buddy that came down to one of my expat insider seminars The first thing he said to me when he got here was Johnny. I have to market these things They'll go nuts for him up in the States. They're works of art. They're beautiful So I left it to him and Ramon to work out the details and next thing I heard maybe two or three months later that

[08:44] The project had stalled. Well, how could that happen? Were his custom-made instruments too expensive? Nope In fact, they're much cheaper than some of the brand name instruments that are machine-made like Fenders and Gibsons and stuff Well, you see it turns out to sell anything up in the States or in Europe the first world That's made out of something organic like a piece of wood Especially if it's considered an exotic rainforest hardwood, which is naturally what gives these things their sound and their natural beauty Well as it turns out there's about 10 or 15 forms you have to fill out Tests that have to be done approvals that have to be made and in each stage of the process money that has to be Forked over. Let's just say that there's a tidal wave of paperwork that no single person could ever fight his way through

[09:32] So the process in trying to get these things approved for shipping up to the states was way too daunting So that was a couple years ago. Anyway Recently, I've been back in his shop and I said to the old guy Tell me Ramon there can't be a big market for custom instruments down here in Central America How do you make your sales and he said you're right? But the thing is famous musicians from around the world come here to buy my instruments now He himself's a laid-back old guy who doesn't give a rip about government and their paperwork So he says people from all over the world will order an instrument Then in a month or so when it's finished that person or someone will come into his shop pay cash and they're on their way Which really is the only way to get one of these instruments to the United States

[10:18] you just buy it and pick it up at his little workshop and when you fly out stow it as luggage or Walk it into the cabin as a personal carry-on. No paperwork. No worries Of course, you'll have to deal with the TSA jerks, but that's another thing However to import it into the states as a product for sale forget about it. Not gonna happen That said do check out those two youtubes Unfortunately, they're in Spanish But if you have an artistic temperament yourself, you'll love these you haven't seen anything like this since you're rummaged through your great Grandfather's tool shed back in the 60s. Believe me. Oh, and here's another thing He says he has a love for certain rainforest hardwoods some personal preferences that make for a certain sound Resonance and appearance. However, he says sometimes he's driving out in the boonies and he'll stop been an old woodworking shop or a lumber yard

[11:09] and he'll see some fantastic one-of-a-kind samples of some terrific rainforest hardwood a slab of wood that has a particular grain or swirl or modeling that he knows would add that certain custom final Detail to an instrument. So in his little woodworking luthier shop, he's got a lot of such pieces of odd wood Just laying around now some of you are ahead of me on this you can see the problem already, right? You can't ship a guitar to the US or any instrument or piece of furniture for sale That is without disclosing every bit and component that goes into it So the problem is if our little old instrument maker picks up bits and pieces of one-of-a-kind chunks of rainforest hardwood Some of which he doesn't even know their names. Well, that means you can never really fill out the customs forms properly now

[11:57] Can you then there's another bit we haven't even mentioned yet that US customs agents these days are absolutely hitler esque about Organic materials such as wood harboring dangerous insect vectors hitching a ride on said organic material that could possibly introduce a new toxic and virulent species into the pristine American landscape Which makes for still more forms and alphabet agencies to deal with and pay off So for all you new green gringos expats wannabes and gone a bees Note that you might have a great idea like our friend from LA head one that seems to have everything going for it Only to run into another Uncle Sam and old vomit paperwork poop storm now when I started this rant

[12:43] I was talking about the drywall and particle board world you all live in up north and of course since China sends their products all Over the world. You've got Walmart and Costco down here in Latin America plus a number of other hardware stores, etc Pushing that same crap too because well It's cheap and that's why it blows my mind every time when I walk into a middle or upper middle class even wealthy Latin's House or even a gringos house and I see that press wood plywood crap hell It's not even plywood. That would be a step up and they buy it because well, it's not only cheap. It's imported You see there's something in the Latin mentality that screams out if it's imported. It must be good It boils down to a kind of inferiority complex that Latin's have Thinking that everybody else's crap is better than theirs and why wouldn't they feel that way?

[13:29] It's been pounded into their brains over and over that their third world people right though Maybe it's a universal human foible People seem to appreciate less the things that are produced in their own backyard. They prefer imported I mean, come on think of imported beer European cars Cuban cigars Irish whiskey Canadian bacon French wine the list goes on and on even if it's just good marketing and the products of piece of crap and That's why I think gringos and expats down here are nuts If they don't buy the stuff bait by local craftsmen Especially when it's made with some of the best rainforest hardwoods in the world not to mention they have marble and granite mines here Fantastic ceramics and tiles to all made here. Of course that stuff always much better than the imported crap

[14:16] But the locals just can't seem to get that import is better idea out of their head It's like everything gringo is better too. Of course, that's part of our gringo advantage So I guess I shouldn't knock it though It's true some products made up in the states are much much better than their equivalents made down here in Latin America Wait a minute. Let me try to think if there is anything made in the states these days Oh, yeah, for example paint and plumbing fixtures and a lot of basic hardware store stuff However, these days even when it's got a US label on it like Kohler or Chicago faucet, for example These days they're made in China Anyway, that said when you go into an upper middle class or wealthy latin's house You're starting to see particle board and drywall junk too And how about this more and more I'm seeing when driving through cities in Latin America. I see big billboards

[15:05] advertising the floors of tomorrow synthetic wood Parquet flooring advertised as made in the USA or Europe. Yep They advertise it as better than the real thing, you know better than rainforest hardwood floors and they're claimed to fame Well, it's coming from gringo land, right? So it's the gringo advantage. Everything gringo is great And secondly, it's billed as a hundred percent waterproof So if you spring a leak in your house and it gets on your floor It doesn't make a big ugly watermark as you see in almost all hardwood floors down here because all Latin roofs eventually leak So then what does that say? Well, it certainly doesn't mean hardwood floors are inferior It means Latin architects and builders are inferior. The pinheads just can't make a roof that doesn't leak

[15:52] In fact, I was having that very conversation the other day with a so-called educated Latin I was sitting shotgun in his pretentious SUV and he hit a big pothole. I mean it was big And he said damn it Johnny. They just repaired this road last year and already the potholes are popping out Then I said, yeah, well, why do you think that is and he said well, I understand that the contractors down here Use a low grade of asphalt They get a contract and he was a cheaper petroleum base to mix the asphalt so it doesn't bind as well And so the road surface deteriorates rapidly and thus potholes and you know what that was a pretty good explanation I've heard that one before I heard it in Panama. I heard it in Costa Rica. I heard it in Honduras It seems to be one of the most common comebacks when you ask a question like that. However, it's wrong

[16:43] Oh, and by the way, he said anyway, Johnny You guys up in the states have much better roads because you don't have the severe climate we have then I said to the guy So, what do you think there's just one kind of climate up in the United States temper it nice Some southern states like Florida have the same weather you have heavy rainy season roads baking in the heat all summer I said you've been there right? He said yeah twice my jammy and I said, did you see a lot of potholes? And he said not really then I asked him. Do you know why that is then he shrugged and said good asphalt, I guess Then I said look at that big pothole coming up ahead pull over next to it. Just for a second I said look at it. You see the cross section of the hole and the thickness of the asphalt on the top layer

[17:31] How thick is it? Well, it was about an inch about three and a half centimeters then I said to him Do you know what the international civil engineering standard for an average thickness of an asphalt road in normal public? traffic load situations and he shrugged I mean, how could he know that how could anybody know that unless you're an engineer or you looked it up? Well, you know what it is 10 centimeters. It's about 4 inches I said your roads have constantly fall apart not from bad asphalt But because of the thickness of your asphalt almost everywhere it's about a quarter of the international standard and the secondary problem is that the Contractors skimp out on the base under the asphalt. No one can see it So they cut big corners there to just pull over to any pothole and have a look yourself where it's flaked out

[18:24] You can easily see the thickness of the top calf of asphalt now It is true. Sometimes you're driving along in Latin America and you hit a nice very well done concrete road But believe me, you won't see that often only on certain stretches of very important roads and some bridges So then you have to ask if contractors can get away with just one inch of asphalt Why are they putting down concrete in some particular areas? Well, that's because when concrete is necessary for whatever reason because of very heavy traffic or like I said a big bridge or whatever the Latin government department responsible for roads will Contract out a big international road building company and sometimes they'll even put those big projects out for bids That means the vice president's pinhead brethren law doesn't get the contract or the skim tisk tisk, huh?

[19:14] Yep, sometimes a big contract will actually get away from some of those jerks and the project will actually get done to international standards That's when you'll see big stretches of concrete highway now That doesn't mean contractors won't find ways to skimp there to of course there Well, this is Latin America, but an international construction company with that kind of contract We'll always do a better job than local contractors who do backroom deals with pus-brained politicians And you know in construction It's easy because everything does look quite nice when it's brand new no matter what went on behind the scenes Even all that Chinese particle board furniture looks clean and spiffy in the showroom So anyway my advice when it comes to wood and wood products here in Latin America Don't fall into that particle board and synthetic material trap

[20:02] You can buy the real thing solid hardwood down here for about the same price as you can buy solid pine furniture up in the states However, for those of you who are really into modern architecture and furnishings, you know post-modern lofts Industrial style Bauhaus. Well, it's true. Most of the hardwood furniture makers down here in Latin America produce more traditional style furniture So you might have to get some boots on the ground a bit to fill that glass and concrete modern bunker of yours However, if you're into classic furniture styles or better yet Latin classic or colonial style You'll find beautiful hardwood furniture to match those spaces without a problem at all again for the price of solid pine up in the states When talking about the gringo influence down here, you know

[20:50] I often mention Walmart and Costco Sears office depot McDonald's Kentucky fried even Dairy Queen if you can believe that as these franchises Penetrate Latin America you find they bring along with them the good and the bad from the first world So what's the good part? Well, they enforce first world hygienic standards Like for example in the bathroom the kitchen and they take care of the details No broken lights or windows spiffy uniforms and contrary to the usual way of things Latin workers are forced to be organized Efficient and on time and the bad of course is that general flow of terrible junk food and to Latin America Replacing and transplanting all the good and natural stuff that people used to eat down here Just a few short years ago when people were thin, but you knew that already

[21:38] Anyway, you might recall 300 shows ago. I spoke about how Starbucks first came to Latin America I was totally wrong about my forecast and projection on them I thought they'd never make it because well Why spend three four even five bucks for a cup of coffee? When you can go to the little coffee shop down the street and get the same coffee for a buck or a buck and a Half a cup and I mean the very same coffee even better. Well, I was wrong I didn't take into account the fact that Latins love everything gringo And since I watched zero network TV, I haven't for 25 years now I didn't realize how Starbucks became a household name and the coolness factor of them showing up in all these cable TV shows and in US movies So Latins were already pre-programmed to feel that going to Starbucks was a very cool gringo ish thing to do now

[22:27] Here's what you didn't know in the last three or four years. Starbucks has invaded Latin America. They're now in Costa Rica El Salvador Guatemala Mexico Panama Argentina Bolivia Brazil Chile Colombia and Peru and yes being a first world franchise They do maintain their first world standards Oh, and by the way, there's two big differences with Starbucks down here as compared to your Starbucks up in the states down here You only see them in very high-end malls and near and around shopping centers where the wealthy Latins live I mean, let's face it. They're the wannabes and the ones that can afford four or five bucks a cup Second the people at Starbucks make Latin minimum wage about 300 bucks a month Meaning anyone who's got a Starbucks franchise down here has had about 40% of his overhead slashed from day one

[23:16] So when you walk in a Starbucks down here and you see only four people in there You're thinking this place is gonna go under. Uh-uh. Probably not now a US Starbucks might need a 40 person per hour turnover to make their nut a Latin Starbucks, maybe only five or six turnovers per hour Which is why so many first world franchises that might seem unlikely Successes in Latin America do succeed sometimes with flying colors in spite of what projected numbers might indicate So when franchises come down, of course, they're virtual carbon copies of franchises up in the states However, everything they do doesn't always work either yet. They keep on doing it For example, here's something that Starbucks does that I laugh about all the time If you go to a Starbucks, that's got its own parking lot up in the states

[24:03] You'll notice they generally have a nice green garbage can with a doggy stenciled on it and a big roll of plastic bags It's in fact an excrement cleanup station pooper station. Have you seen those? Well, I guess the honcho's at Starbucks headquarters up in the states did not do their homework very well When they decided to ship those dog pooper stations down here and put them in Starbucks parking lots, too That said the other day I was in a parking lot where there was a Starbucks with such a dog Sanitation station and I asked the guard who was walking around in the parking lot Do people really use that thing and he said get this for what? I said for dog do do of course and he said no two years. I've been working in this parking lot I've never seen anyone put Mierda in there dog or otherwise

[24:50] But I will tell you this he said I do have to keep my eye on it people walk by Think it's free plastic bags and steal the whole roll. So there you have it folks a gringo idea that failed miserably It's a cultural thing Of course Latins have no idea that they should ever be picking up their dogs poop anytime I've ever brought it up I just get a blank stare unless they're upscale people who've been to my jammy and have seen people with pooches in parks Doing just that oh and by the way, like I said a few shows ago I've never ever seen a person use a pooper scooper in Latin America However, I have seen them for sale at a few upscale pet stores and ace hardware in the pet department But then again, that's the first world franchise, too So all you gonna bees and wannabes up in Cleveland forget about that pooper scooper import export idea Ben tried doesn't work

[25:42] I think it'll need about 10 more years of lag time to catch up Okay, getting close to the end of the show now So let me remind you of my January 2016 expat insider seminar Come on down get your boots on the ground with me And I guarantee you'll get a two to five year head start on your own expat plans Just go to www.thenewexpet.com click on Johnny's 2016 Latin seminar link there you'll find a great description and all the sign-up information Oh, and by the way, the expat files has a YouTube channel now So just go to the new expat.com or go to YouTube and put in the expat files And you'll see a great little slideshow. It's brand new and I'm getting a lot of good feedback on it So do check it out And finally on the new expat.com site will be running a blog with one of my favorite Latin attorneys who speaks 100% English

[26:33] By the way, he'll be talking about everything you wanted to know regarding expats the legal system and the law down here things like essay corporations trademarks contracts residency passports Everything and anything legal so check it out and you can write in your own questions to him, too He'll be glad to answer them. So check it out on the new expat website coming soon Stay tuned on one last thing for those of you sending emails wondering about the expat wisdom website Well, I'm no longer affiliated with them And if you receive any emails or promotions from the expat wisdom.com website They're not coming from me. They're not authorized and are being used without my permission. So don't be fooled It's not me know that anything I offer or promote you'll hear it directly from me in person on this show

[27:20] So why am I mentioning this? Well, sometimes as you get more popular in this kind of business people want to steal your name and your content your mailing list Yes, there are people like that out there south of the border You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com And if you want me to help you sort out your own Latin American plans schedule a one-on-one consult with me Just send an email and let me know at the expat files at gmail.com. No spamos