Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller addresses a variety of topics related to life in Latin America, with a focus on climate change, agriculture, and cultural observations. The discussion begins with an email from a listener, 'Altiplano Drifter,' who asks about the effects of climate change on the Altiplano region, the resilience of local food and water supplies, and the use of pesticides in farming. Johnny emphasizes the value of 'boots on the ground' experiences, as they provide a more accurate understanding of life in Latin America than secondhand information. He also discusses the availability of rainwater as a sustainable resource and the broader effects of climate change, noting that all countries are experiencing climactic shifts, with firsthand observations from long-term residents.
Johnny then delves into the impact of climate change on agriculture in Latin America, noting that small farmers are experiencing more unpredictable weather patterns. He highlights how traditional seasonal markers, such as the start and end of the rainy season, are no longer reliable. Despite these changes, farmers adapt by having multiple crop plans and growing a variety of crops. Johnny also talks about the diversity of fruits and vegetables available in local markets, emphasizing the richness of Latin American agriculture. He then addresses the perception of the 'altiplano' region, which is known for its 'perpetual spring' climate, and points out that many cities in this region claim to have the best weather, though this is not unique. Johnny concludes by discussing the potential effects of global climate change on the altiplano, noting that while rising temperatures could be devastating, the region's varied elevations provide some natural resilience.
In another segment, Johnny discusses the impact of geographical variations on weather patterns in Latin American cities, particularly in Costa Rica. He explains that due to the presence of mountains, valleys, and hills, different parts of a city can have significantly different climates, leading to unpredictable weather conditions. He uses San Jose, Costa Rica, as an example, highlighting the elevation differences between districts like Escazu and Aloeila, which result in temperature variations. Johnny also mentions the phenomenon of 'mini climates' and how they can cause sudden weather changes, even within a few blocks of a city. He humorously notes that weather forecasts in Latin America are often unreliable, leading to the stereotype that weather forecasters are more about appearance than expertise. Johnny also touches on the cultural aspect of weather reporting, where female weather presenters are often more prominent and attract viewers due to their looks rather than their meteorological knowledge. He concludes by discussing the local farmers' concerns about climate change affecting their small agricultural patches on hillsides.
Johnny then discusses the challenges faced by indigenous farmers in a region experiencing climate disturbances, particularly in terms of drought and shifting weather patterns. He recounts a conversation with an indigenous farmer who explains how farmers adapt by moving to higher altitudes, switching crops, and utilizing the natural advantages of the terrain. Johnny also touches on the broader implications of climate change on farming, the role of government in providing resources like fertilizer, and the historical manipulation of markets by government policies. The segment ends with a reference to the ongoing issues with pesticides and Monsanto, highlighting the complex relationship between agriculture, climate, and corporate influence.
In another segment, Johnny discusses the use of pesticides and the state of farming in Latin America. He highlights that while pesticides and large agribusinesses like Monsanto are present, the majority of small-scale farmers still rely on traditional methods, such as using oxen and manual labor. He emphasizes that modern farming techniques have not fully taken over the region, and small farmers often lack access to education and resources. Johnny also notes the presence of imported fruits and vegetables, particularly from Chile, which are often labeled as high-quality but may have higher pesticide contamination. He concludes by advocating for local produce, which is fresher and less contaminated.
Johnny then discusses the variety and quality of locally grown produce in Latin American markets, emphasizing that while the size, shape, and color of vegetables and fruits can vary greatly, the locally grown items often taste better than imported ones. He highlights that less than 5% of produce in Central American markets comes from Chile, and that avocados from Mexico are typically Haas avocados, known for their consistent quality. Johnny also warns about the use of pesticides and fertilizers on imported produce, advising listeners to avoid fruits and vegetables with foreign origin stickers. He further notes that even imported goods like garlic can be competitively priced, but there is a cultural tendency to prefer foreign products over locally grown ones, especially for manufactured goods.
In another segment, Johnny discusses the quality of food in Latin America, suggesting that for better tasting and more flavorful produce, one should avoid Walmart or Costco and look for foreign origin labels in big markets. He then shifts to addressing concerns about the possibility of street gangs from large Latin American cities expanding into smaller towns and suburbs. He emphasizes that such expansion is unlikely due to the lack of transportation and vehicles among these gangs, unlike in the first world where gang members typically have cars. Johnny also warns about the dangers of living near bad neighborhoods, regardless of location, and highlights the importance of being aware of one's surroundings.
Finally, Johnny discusses his observations on the cultural and fashion trends in Latin America, particularly focusing on the presence of goth and rebellious styles among young people. He reflects on how these trends are often more visible in media than in real life, and he shares an anecdote about encountering a young Latin goth couple in a mall, highlighting the contrast between their appearance and the typical stereotypes he has encountered. He also touches on the idea that such trends may be spreading in the region, possibly influenced by global fashion movements.
Topics
Climate change and its effects, Agricultural adaptation, Diversity of crops in Latin American markets, Perceptions of the altiplano region's climate, Impact of climate change on the altiplano, Geographical impact on weather patterns, Unpredictable weather in Latin American cities, Weather forecasting in Latin America, Cultural aspects of weather reporting, Climate change effects on local agriculture, Climate change and its impact on farming, Adaptation strategies of indigenous farmers
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:16 Introduction to The Expat Files 00:00:32 Email from a Listener 00:00:50 Questions about Climate Change and the Altiplano 00:03:55 Water and Sustainability in Latin America 00:04:40 Climate Change and Its Global Impact 00:05:01 Changing Weather Patterns in Latin America 00:05:37 Unpredictable Rainy Seasons 00:06:28 Fresh Produce in Latin American Markets 00:07:22 The Altiplano and Its Climate 00:08:53 Climate Change and the Altiplano 00:09:54 The Impact of Topography on Weather Patterns in Latin America 00:10:38 Unpredictable Weather and Mini Climates in Latin American Cities 00:11:13 The Reliability of Weather Forecasters in Latin America 00:12:01 The Cultural Significance of Female Weather Presenters 00:14:00 Climate Change and Its Effects on Local Agriculture 00:14:07 Acknowledgment of Climate Disturbances in Farming Practices 00:14:16 Indigenous Farmer's Perspective on Climate Change 00:15:08 Adaptation Strategies and Government Influence on Agriculture 00:17:16 Pesticides and Monsanto in the Context of Agricultural Challenges 00:18:21 Modern farming techniques have not taken over Latin America 00:19:56 Local produce is fresher and less contaminated 00:20:01 Variety of Local Produce in Latin Markets 00:20:24 Imported Produce May Taste Better Than Local 00:20:59 Pesticide Use on Imported Produce 00:21:38 Locally Grown Produce Makes Up Most of Market Sales 00:22:00 Locally Grown Garlic is Very Cheap 00:22:25 Cultural Preference for Foreign Products 00:22:38 Food Quality in Latin America 00:22:54 Gang Activity and Expansion 00:23:06 Transportation and Gang Activity 00:24:07 Safety and Neighborhood Awareness 00:25:24 The Emergence of Latin Goth Culture 00:26:02 The Boyfriend Takes the Cake 00:26:34 Lactime May Just Have Arrived
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play And now that I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great And it's all right here so let's get started Here's an email from someone who attended my latest Expat Insider Seminar And he's still down here, how about that? Nothing like drinking from the fire hose at a seminar And then spending a couple of extra weeks with your own boots on the ground Nothing like it
[00:45] So here we go And I'll paraphrase this a bit here He says, hey Johnny I'd like to hear your thoughts on how you think Guatemala And specifically the Altiplano areas will do Concerning global climate change and weather effects and all that That said, do you feel the Altiplano areas will avoid most of the weather effects Or is it a big question mark? What do you think will happen if the people in the Altiplano Have to go off to the grid for a week or two or four or twelve Do you feel the local water supplies and food supplies would hold up pretty well If the truck stopped rolling for a few months or more? What about the quote road warrior like gangs invading from the big city Into the smaller, safer local towns and such By the way, would you say a lot of the fruits, veggies, etc. in the markets
[01:32] Are grown without Monsanto poisons in the soil and in the sprays Or would you say that Latin farmers too are now using these ubiquitous substances Just heard your most recent show by the way, which was funnier than usual It hit the nail on the head though Especially since I've had the last three weeks of my own boots on the ground experience firsthand I've seen a lot of what you were talking about Really? Then he uses the A word here Couldn't resist using that A word, he says Anyway, here's a cultural observation for you Latins are in fact incredibly nice, kind and patient Could it be Valium and all the toxic poisons they buy in and just from the countless tiendas Or just something in their DNA and culture Yet they're so thoroughly brainwashed when it comes to their glowing opinions about our US fascist state
[02:24] After all, they all really do want to be a part of it now, don't they? Anyway, that's just one of the many paradoxes encountered daily, as you well know Then he closes out by saying Thanks for taking the time to answer more specific questions I know you're often buried in email No doubt it gets tedious answering the same or similar questions from hundreds of clueless and semi-clueless gringos Signed, the AP Drifter, that would be the Altiplano Drifter Well, Mr. Drifter, glad you're drifting along That's really the only way to see what things are really like down here in Latin America You could read the blogs and listen to shows and download international living seminars and such But it's never like being here in person face to face with boots on the ground But I don't have to tell you that, right?
[03:10] And believe me, if I could tell you all the hundreds, if not thousands of times People with boots on the ground have said, hey Johnny, you're absolutely right about so and so That happened to me too Never would have believed it if I hadn't experienced it myself And sometimes, you know, I get emails from people saying They think I'm stretching the truth to get a laugh or to get a rise out of people Then when they come down and get boots on the ground, they say, you know what? I saw the same thing or it happened to me too People who do get boots on the ground, whether it's on or off the grango tourist trail They know there's no need to stretch the truth Things are very strange here in Latin America Almost always, in a good way So you can read about it or listen to someone talk about it all day But it's the boots on the ground that matters Okay, now, adjusting some of those points from our Alti Plano Drifter First, let me talk about the water here
[03:57] Of course, all the rivers and lakes throughout the world are pretty much polluted now Lifts you a little bit on a mountain top However, I have to tell you that during the rainy season in Latin America If you collect your own rainwater off your roof And you can do it here There's no law against it and there never will be That said, you'll certainly collect enough in one month to last the entire year Of course, it'll rain a bit every day for six months So, theoretically, you'll have six times as much as you need Just coming down on your roof I know, I know It's more convenient to have a well or municipal supply But what if the power goes out for a long time? If you have a big cistern, then who cares? You gotta love that, huh? Okay, then what about the effects of climate change? Now, whether you believe in human climate change or not doesn't matter
[04:44] Every country around the world is experiencing some kind of climactic shift And since I've been down here 26 years now in Latin America I've been able to see it firsthand too In fact, Latins who've never ever been out of their own countries are talking about it too Especially some of the small farmers They're saying that the rainy and the dry seasons are not quite as predictable date-wise as they once were For example, ever since I've been in Latin America People will always say, on the first of October, the rainy season's completely over That would be, speaking of Central America, for South America, it's the reverse So, historically, everyone knew on October 1st you could start outdoor projects Paint your house, trim the hedges, clean the dog poop off the lawn Well, most gringos will anyway That said, up to a few short years ago
[05:32] You knew there'd be about six months of almost no rain You could count on it But, for example, this year, the first half of October, well, it was still the rainy season Which never happened the first 20-something years I was down here So, unfortunately, that means farmers can't really tell by the calendar when it starts and ends Yes, it's true, the climate is shifting and a bit more unpredictable But farmers do roll with the punches If anything, farmers always have a plan B, or plan C For example, none of the small farmers who make up about 85% of Latin American agriculture Depend on one single crop for their livelihoods Though almost all of them grow milpa or corn, they have a lot of other mixed crops Squash, melons, tomatoes, avocados, mangoes, just too many to mention
[06:20] And since in most of Latin America there's three to four growing seasons That's why even at the small markets you've got massive varieties of fruits and vegetables Absolutely fresh that you could never get in the markets up north In fact, the last time I went through one of the big produce markets down here With a gringo from up north who'd never been to Latin America Before we even went into the place when we were sitting in the parking lot I said, take note of how many different fruits and vegetables that are new to you And you've never seen before in your life And guess what, when we got back to the parking lot with our load I said, how many were there? He said, how many what? I said, how many fruits and vegetables did you see that you'd never come across before in your life? And he said, oh, I quit counting at 12 And then he said, that's not even counting the different varieties of one kind of fruit or vegetable
[07:07] Like for example bananas where I saw four different kinds He said where he comes from in Connecticut The stores have only one type of banana and he thought a banana is a banana He never knew there were more than one kind And you know what, before I came down here, neither did I Now about that altiplano region everyone loves so much That it would be the region from about 3,000 feet to around 12,000 feet above sea level Certain cities are strategically placed at those high elevation points And they have what they call perpetual spring like weather Which is why unless you work in a stuffy business office with no ventilation You do not need air conditioning or heating So what's that worth to you? And you know what always makes me laugh when I read a blog or see an article about some city
[07:52] Let's say Cali, Colombia Or any of the dozens and dozens of good sized cities in the altiplano Why? Because every altiplano city they write about claims to have the most perfect weather in the world According to gringo and expat writers that is And they say it as if their new adopted town is the only place with that distinction Well how can that be? In fact whatever altiplano city you happen to be in You'll always find signs and pamphlets that say just that Quote, you are now in the land of perpetual spring, unquote But did you know there are hundreds and hundreds of towns and cities that fall into that category So next time you're in Medellin, Colombia don't send me an email saying Johnny it's got the best climate in the world because I can name 150 other places Where gringos and expats living and passing through say exactly the same thing
[08:42] So three cheers for the altiplano, you just have to check it out So then what about global climate change? What's that going to do to people in the altiplano who have that perpetual spring weather? Well guess what? If the whole world on average gets a couple of degrees warmer In many maybe most agricultural areas it would be devastating But when talking about altiplano regions you must realize for example That a city is really never on a level plain Even though the word altiplano means high plain Let's take Cuenca, Ecuador As with all altiplano cities and towns the elevation varies quite a bit Cuenca is all over the place too With parts of the city at 7700 feet Rising in other spots to 8600 feet So the city has its ups and downs with a spread of around 900 feet depending where you are
[09:31] And when you're at 8600 feet in the higher end of the city You'll find it's two or three degrees cooler than other parts So when people ask me about the climate in the altiplano I always say within each city there are actually many climates For a lot of reasons One because they're really not on a flat plain at all Secondly many of these cities that started out as small towns are now expanding And so they have to creep up mountains or down valleys That not only means that the neighborhoods and subdivisions are not at the same elevation It means different parts of the city have got different wind, sun and shade conditions too Let's take San Jose, Costa Rica Really the only city in that country that's in the altiplano For example there's the wealthy district of Escazu
[10:16] Which is four or five hundred feet lower than the district called Aloeila So normally it's a few degrees cooler And if you look at a topographical map of any one of these so called altiplano cities You'll see there's peaks and valleys and hills and mountains all around in unpredictable places So you're gonna get those so called mini climates Which is why in your particular neighborhood It could be raining cats and dogs and driveway chickens And just six blocks away It could very well be sunny and dry as a bone It happens all the time you're driving along It's absolutely clear and sunny and suddenly boom It's pouring so hard you have to pull over for a while till it passes Then you might run into someone later that day and say Wow what a downpour today huh? And they'll say it rained? When?
[11:03] Again that's something you'll only experience if you get boots on the ground down here And you know I'll never forget the time maybe twelve or so years ago I was sitting down with some Latin girls and guys and I said You know I really can't understand why Latin TV stations have weather forecasters at all I mean you can't trust them up in the States but down here You do just as well flipping a coin Especially during the rainy season You've got sections of the city that are dry as a bone And others that are flooded and underwater Who can predict the weather when you've got all these mini climates And guess what? The girls laughed and they said mini climates? Nope they'd never heard that one before To them it doesn't matter if there's five different climates going on at once They still need a weather person Because well every TV station has one It's tradition Oh and by the way speaking of television weather forecasters
[11:51] Well let me tell you this In Latin America all the competition in the hottie department on TV is For the weather lady positions Nope there are no weather men down here They're all weather ladies and they're all very hot And you know it's not like you need an IQ over 80 to do that job Like I said down here especially in the Altiplano With all these mini climates Weather forecasters are baton 500 They're half right and they're half wrong In fact if Bush Jr. and U. Spanish had the right measurements Maybe even he could do the job Whereas up in the states to become a weather person You have to have a degree in meteorology That's a minimum Down here all you need to be is a young female With a certain look and a skimpy wardrobe In fact Latin guys will tell you The only reason they tune into the nightly news at all
[12:38] Is for the weather lady and the sports recap And believe me when I say it's the hot point Of the television schedule down here You really have to see it to believe it You couldn't get away with that kind of stuff up in the states So bottom line ladies If you're gonna apply for that job You have to know Spanish And you have to have more curves than a roller coaster However if you're a gringa You get an extra two points Because you've got that gringa advantage In fact last time I was in Colombia Get this They didn't have a curvy Colombia weather lady On one particular channel I tuned into They had a blonde haired blue eyed gringa I could tell by her American accent Oh and by the way to go off topic for just a second Like I never do that Guess what they call roller coasters here in Latin America Montañez Russas
[13:24] And that literally translates into English as A Russian mountain Now don't ask me why everyone calls it a Montañez Russa I can't get a straight answer from any Latin person They just heard it from their parents And their parents heard it from their grandparents etc And even when you're at a Latin amusement park And you buy a ticket to go on the roller coaster It says right on your ticket in Spanish of course Admit one to the Montañez Russa Russian mountain doesn't make sense But that's just the way it is Ok where were we? Oh yeah climate change Well like I always suspected The local farmers down here Who have small little patches On the sides of mountains and hills They have been complaining that the climate is changing Yes it's true They are experiencing some disturbances
[14:10] In the way they've been growing things traditionally For hundreds of years That said Not so long ago I was speaking to an indigenous farmer In a small market I said to him I understand the last couple of years Have been much drier than normal Is that true? Yeah for sure you said On this side of the mountain And he pointed to the side Of a fairly large sized mountain By the way you'd be amazed At some of the steep angles These guys can plant crops But you know since this is The richest type of volcanic soil in the world They try to utilize every square foot of it If they can Anyway he pointed to a distant mountain Where he said he grew his crops And said yep it's been very unseasonably warm He said Muy muy seco No es normal Which means very dry too And it's not normal
[14:56] Then he said However my brother Who's got a parcel on the other side of the mountain He's getting more rain than normal But he's always been the lucky guy in the family Not me No tango suarte El si So then how do you account for that? And in the end he said Because it's been much drier on his side of the mountain He's moved up the mountain Where it's a little cooler More humid Where the crops get a little more rain too So the farmers in the altiplano Know how to adjust their altitude To get the right mix Not only that He says they can switch crops They've got dozens to choose from Each one growing under Slightly different conditions However he did mention That some farmers are out of luck The ones that have their patches of land At or near sea level There's no adjusting for climate change there
[15:41] You take what you get Still with farmland that's near sea level If there are nearby mountains and valleys They will have their climatic effect By the way that's climatic Not climactic Climactic refers to well Climaxes And for now we won't go there Maybe later Where were we? Oh yeah So like the indigenous farmer said Some farmers have the luck of the draw one year And there's SOL the next The fact is Like he said again Farming was never a stable enterprise Which is why he said Farmers go to church Pray a lot and Drink a lot By the way he admits He drinks more than his brother And he said They're always beholden to the government Who once a year Hand out sacks of fertilizer However he said They do win the lottery
[16:26] And get three or four sacks When it's election year So they've become addicted To that kind of government corruption And they know it Bottom line They vote for the guy that gives him The most fertilizer Which is a hell of a rotten way To run a small business, huh? But then again That's what my old grandpa A farmer up in Chicago once told me He said During World War II The government people came around And gave out subsidies For farmers to grow hemp For rope for the navy and such Then after the war When DuPont took nylon And started making rope out of that They paid ya not to grow hemp Which just goes to show There always were Pus-brained maggoty government types Artificially manipulating markets Even before most all of us were born Which brings us to the fertilizer And pesticide Monsanto issue
[17:12] That our friendly altiplano drifter Mentioned in his email So then are pesticides and Monsanto here? You're damn right they are But you see the thing is That those big open food markets Were probably 95% of the producers Coming in from very small truck farmers Within a 50 mile radius The fact is these are very poor folks And most of them don't even have tractors I'd say more than half of them use Oxen, mules, and manpower In fact at the place I like to stay out In the coffee fields I often see two giant oxen Yoked together in a harness Ambling down the center Of a newly paved asphalt road So you do see stuff like that Out in the boonies You gotta be on your lookout Because there's no street lights there Which is why you don't want to drive at night The ox will always win
[17:58] Even those crazy chicken bus drivers They'll screw with you and your Honda But they'll never play chicken with an ox Now I doubt Even one out of a hundred of you listeners Have seen a real live ox up close I tell ya I never did either Till I came to Latin America Now they're not scary And they're rather docile But they do weigh around 2,000 pounds At least the big ones do Which just goes to show Modern farming techniques Have not taken over Latin America yet Although corrupt governments Have gotten farmers used to those Annual sacks of fertilizer But still It's nowhere out of control Like it is up in the States Sure, you give farmers Free sacks of fertilizer and pesticides And they'll spread them all over the place Remember Most of the small farmers Have less than 6th grade educations However As far as going to the feed store And buying sacks of it themselves
[18:44] Well You don't see that very often Meaning Small farmers anyway Razor crops in a relatively Unadulterated manner However I have noticed On occasion at the market When looking at Some fruits and vegetables Like for example Papayas You can tell They were sprayed with something Because they have a slight Whitish film on them Now you don't see that much But still I always peel my fruits and vegetables Before I eat them How about you? Well and another thing Recently I've seen some Imported stuff Showing up in the markets Like for example Kiwis and apples and nectarines Coming in from guess where? Chile Which now seems to be The Latin country That produces the most Beautiful and symmetrical Looking fruits and vegetables So Agraculturally speaking Chile You could say is The California of Latin America
[19:29] Meaning If you're in a Latin American Costco Or Walmart Or even now In some of the big markets If you want to buy Beautiful looking Symmetrical Consistent Oranges Apples Nectarines Kiwis Grapes Whatever You'll find they have a little Stick around them That says They came from Chile So Do I buy that stuff? Never You don't need to The local stuff Is fresher Tastier And obviously Has much less Fertilizer And pesticide contamination If any However The size, shape And color Of your local vegetables And fruits Will be all over the place You'll see for example On the same vegetable cart Avocados That look like the size of plums And some that Look bigger than your head That goes for carrots And pineapples And sweet potatoes And everything else
[20:15] The locally grown stuff Often misshapen and ugly But tastes better than anything That's coming in from another country And I bet it tastes better than anything You're eating up in the States too So how prevalent is that produce Coming in from Chile? Well I'd say in the Central American Markets anyway Less than 5% By the way it seems the number one Crop export out of Mexico Besides ganja Is avocados And you do know that If an avocado's coming out of Mexico It's a Haas Avocado H-A-S-S A special type And they really are very consistent In shape and high quality Which is why people buy them However you have to know That when fruits and vegetables Are coming in from other Latin countries to a market They've been hit with Pesticides and fertilizers
[21:01] Probably heavily Why? Well any of you listeners out there Who've been through Latin American land borders Or even through US land borders To Canada or Mexico You know They always make it a big point To confiscate your fruit and vegetables And food stuff Before you cross the border Just won't let you take it through Why? Because they haven't been sprayed With the requisite amount Of toxic pesticides Which means When you're in a big Latin American market Don't buy anything That's got a sticker That says it's from Another Latin country Because you know It's been most likely Heavily sprayed As opposed to the stuff Grown locally Which thankfully Makes up about 85 or 90% Of everything you find in a market So bottom line Avoid those fruits and vegetables That have a foreign Point of origin sticker on them
[21:47] Oh and by the way Lately I've seen Garlic In one of the big Latin markets That comes from Guess where? And wouldn't you know it It's actually the same price As the local garlic Grown here Which is By the way Dirt cheap How cheap? I'd say 3 or 4 small bulbs For about 25 cents US So then how in the world Did that Chinese garlic Get to Latin America And who in the hell would buy it anyway Well For one It comes in a very nice presentation And package Two It's very consistent All the bulbs are the same size And the same ugly white color And three unfortunately Latins seem to think Anything that comes from the outside Is better than the products they produce Which is often true When it comes to Manufactured products Like stoves And refrigerators And radios and TVs
[22:33] Etc But as for home grown Food products I'm here to tell you They've got the whole world beat In price And in flavor But if you want Perfect looking Symmetrical fruit That doesn't have much flavor Go to Walmart or Costco Or look for that Foreign point of origin label In one of the big markets Okay I think that's More than enough About the food down here And lastly In our altiplano Drifter's email He was wondering About the possibility Of road warrior Type street gangs From the big latin cities Invading some of the Nicer small towns and suburbs Well for one That's why No one should really Live too close to a ghetto Whether you're up in the first world Or down in a big city In latin america But there is one Big important difference Between the bad ghetto areas And the rotten street gangs Up in the first world
[23:18] And the ones down here In latin america The ones up in the first world Have cars and guns Whereas down here In latin america Some of them do have guns But not many And almost none Have cars That means if they're Going to go and Vade an adjacent neighborhood Or try to get to A nearby small town They have to somehow Get transportation And when the feces Hits the ventilator For example in the Coming worldwide economic meltdown Chicken buses and Public transportation Will be at a standstill too So how are they Going to get to that Nearby a nice Safe little town That's an hour away by car Well they're not Going to march for 10 hours down the Middle of a highway With their machetes and clubs Which is why by the way Nearly all the gang Violence in latin america Is restricted to those
[24:03] Bad neighborhoods So again i wouldn't want To live in any city In the world Where a really bad neighborhood Was within maybe A half hour to an Hours walking distance That should be a rule of Thumb for anyone With a half a brain Again let me repeat Those nasty gangland guys With the tattoos on their necks They live in the big cities Down here in latin america And they don't I repeat Don't have cars Or transportation Aside from Public transportation And chicken buses So when the next Worldwide economic Disaster hits And all countries are Affected Some of the very first Things to go down Will be the internet And infrastructure Meaning public transportation So Down here in latin america Anyway If the bad boys Have a plan to expand Out of their neighborhood They'll have to do it on foot Whereas up in the states
[24:49] Everyone Even the bad boys Have cars don't they How long would it take A car full of nasty Guys to drive From the nearest ghetto To your house Maybe You ought to do a Test run huh Oh and speaking of Nasty looking gang Members with neck Tattoos I don't get it Why do they always Have Jesus, Mary And biblical sayings Tattooed all over Their bodies And don't say Johnny go ahead And ask one of them Hey I'm not that brave Anyway I never get To see guys like that In person Only on the nightly news And in the papers Why? Because I live, work and play Far far away from Many of the places Those guys hang out However the other day I was in a fairly Upscale latin mall And sitting right across From me in a food court Were a young latin couple In their early 20s The girl dressed all in black
[25:34] Black eyeliner Black lipstick Black nails A couple of eyelid And nose piercings Looked like a rebel girl Whose parents had money Yes every once in a while You'll see some young Latin college types Trying to copy that Already passe First world goth trend With real leather pants And a nice new Black Metallica t-shirt I figured her parents had dough Like up in the first world When parents have a lot of dough Sometimes there's a kid or two Who will rebel But in this case It was the girl's boyfriend That took the cake Oh they were a matched pair And he was super goth alright But with a little added extra He had those god awful Painful looking earlobe expansion hoops going What an attractive look huh? And this guy was no beginner He had some big ass hula hoop earlobes
[26:21] Now the reason why I bring this up Is because I've been down here A very long time now And that's the first time I've ever seen that in a latin Though I have seen some Low budget European and American Backpacker types With the earlobe thing going So anyway it seems Lactime may just have arrived On another revolting development Oh and by the way I picked out the accent on this couple They were from guess where? And I can only guess That they were surely Traveling through Latin America On their mommy's and daddy's credit cards After all they were a thousand miles from home In Central America now And didn't look the least bit scruffy Or backpacker-ish Wait a minute Is that a word? Who says you can't make up your own words I do it all the time Someone's gotta do it Anyway all the while Looking at that goth couple You know what I was thinking?
[27:06] If I was a younger, wilder guy Maybe I'd just walk over there Sit down and yank on one of those hula hoops Well you can always dream, can't ya? Alright we're getting towards the end now So don't forget to go to www.thenewexpet.com And check out all the blogs and information You'll find stuff from me And John Galt on that site And don't forget to visit my expat file YouTube channel Do subscribe It's free ya know South of the border You've been listening to The Expat Files Living in Latin America Coming to you twice a week From somewhere south of the border Email me theexpetfiles at gmail.com And if you want me to help you Sort out your own Latin American plans Schedule a one-on-one consult with me
[27:52] Just send an email and let me know At theexpetfiles at gmail.com Nos vemos