Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller dives into the complexities of expat life in Colombia, discussing racism, cultural dynamics, and the challenges of forming meaningful relationships. He shares insights from expats, explores the social and economic landscape of Medellin, and offers advice for those considering a move to Latin America.
Johnny begins by addressing an email from an expat named 'Not So Randy Andy,' who shares his experiences with racism in Colombia and the challenges of maintaining long-distance relationships. He explains that while racism exists in Colombia, it is less overt compared to the U.S., and that skin tones vary significantly by region in Colombia and Brazil. He also touches on age differences in relationships, noting that Latin cultures are more accepting of such differences compared to the U.S.
He then discusses his experience living in Medellin, Colombia, highlighting the social and economic dynamics he has observed. He critiques the role of international dating sites in connecting gringos with Colombian women, warning that many of these relationships are doomed due to cultural and lifestyle differences. He suggests that for meaningful relationships, expats should avoid the more popular, tourist-heavy areas like Poblado and instead seek out smaller cities where there is less cultural pressure and more authentic interactions.
In another segment, Johnny explores the cultural dynamics of Latin America, particularly Colombia, focusing on the attraction of gringas (North American women) to Latin men. He highlights the prevalence of machismo, the educational background of Colombian men, and the societal expectations that perpetuate traditional gender roles. He also touches on the challenges gringas face in relationships with Latin men, including infidelity and the need for domestic help.
He then discusses the cultural and social dynamics between gringos (expats) and Latinas, particularly in Colombia. He highlights the challenges gringos face when forming relationships with Latinas, including issues of personal space, cultural differences in social behavior, and the tendency of Latin men to be dishonest or evasive. He also addresses the economic challenges faced by expats in Colombia, such as high taxes and currency devaluation, which make it difficult to start new businesses.
Finally, Johnny shares his personal experiences living in Medellin, highlighting both the positives and negatives of expat life there. He notes that while the dollar has strong purchasing power, the country is experiencing economic and safety issues. He mentions the high murder rate in Medellin, personal experiences with crime, and the inefficiency of the police. He concludes by suggesting Cuenca, Ecuador, as a better alternative for expats due to its safety, affordability, and quality of life.
Topics
Racism in Colombia, Expatriate experiences in Latin America, Age differences in relationships, Cultural acceptance of diverse skin tones, Social and economic dynamics in Colombia, Cultural and class divisions, International dating and expat experiences, Critique of the media and beauty standards in Colombia, Advice for expats seeking meaningful relationships, Cultural dynamics in Colombia, Machismo and traditional gender roles, Educational background of Colombian men
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:14 Introduction to the Show and Host 00:00:42 Colombia's Popularity Among Expats 00:01:36 Email from Not So Randy Andy 00:02:42 Racism in Colombia 00:04:09 Age Differences in Relationships 00:05:32 Diversity of Skin Tones in Colombia 00:06:08 Introduction to Medellin and Poblado 00:06:14 Gringos and Economic Impact in Poblado 00:06:50 Class and Ethnic Divisions in Colombian Society 00:07:47 Alternative Pathways Out of Poverty 00:08:47 Failed Relationships Between Gringos and Colombian Women 00:09:43 Testing the Commitment of Colombian Women 00:10:32 Advice for Finding Authentic Relationships 00:12:17 Introduction to the Gringa Phenomenon in Colombia 00:12:42 The Big Bottom Beauty Pageant and Cultural Expectations 00:13:19 Machismo and the Educational Background of Colombian Men 00:14:20 The Need for a Maid in a Latin Relationship 00:15:15 Gringas and the Abundance of Latin Suitors 00:16:03 Infidelity and Its Acceptance in Latin America 00:18:15 Gringas and the Cosmetic Enhancements of Latin Women 00:18:19 Gringos and Latinas: A Cultural Clash 00:18:53 Why Gringle Men's Relationships Fail 00:19:46 Social Behavior and Personal Space 00:20:45 Honesty and Dishonesty in Relationships 00:22:34 Integration into Family and Religious Life 00:23:47 Economic Challenges for Expats in Colombia 00:23:58 Economic Context in Colombia 00:24:26 Johnny's Experience in Medellin 00:25:08 Safety and Crime in Medellin 00:26:08 Police Inefficiency and Harassment 00:26:37 Alternative Expat Destinations
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right, and the last show I was running out of time So I wasn't able to finish some of the emails regarding dating mating sex and romance in Colombia So we'll finish that stuff up right now And I think today we'll spend some time talking about various topics of interest in Colombia since that's the country
[00:48] That's the hottest on the radar for gringos expats gonna bees and wannabes Yeah, that's how the ebb and flow of Latin country popularity works You know first it was Mexico a popular hotspot for gringos wanting to get away from things that slow trickle of gringos to Mexico Goes way back to the golden days of Hollywood back in the 30s 40s and 50s Then came international living the AARP and all the retirement bags saying Costa Rica is the place to go That was 20 or 30 years ago Yep after the gringos ruined that and then the next place Panama Then even now gringos have been flooding in thinking it's the next version of paradise Then on the heels of Panama all of sudden the latest rage became Ecuador along with Uruguay And now all the focus is shifted on Colombia. So by all means let's talk about Colombia
[01:36] By the way, the email I'm finishing now is written by a guy who calls himself not so Randy Andy He claims he's just a nice average expat guy a 5 on a 10 scale Just looking for a nice pleasant long-term relationship So let's continue with the second part of not so Randy Andy's email. He says, you know, Johnny I've been down here what 10 years now or so and I have a lot of friends back in the States and not One has ever come to visit me. Oh, they promised to all right? I want to hear all my stories, but none have visited me excuses excuses cowards all of them then he says Johnny, you know I have some black friends up in the States from the old neighborhood not Cleveland But close and a couple of those guys are just about ready to come down But they're wondering about the racism thing now
[02:24] These are slightly upscale guys who really never had any boots on the ground in Latin America But they ask is racism prevalent in Colombia if so How persistent is it like they've said they grew up with a certain amount of it up in the states and want to know If it's better or worse to which I have to admit Yes racism exists in Colombia as it does in probably all countries including the US But to what degree well, you can't compare black and white in Colombia or even Brazil to most of the subtle ways You see it up in the states because number one the people here come in a large palette of colors Number two whereas up in the states if you see a racially mixed couple, they'll get your attention But down here in Colombia or Brazil, there's so much of it. They just don't get noticed at all
[03:13] In fact the definition of racially mixed means something different to first-world people than it does to people down here For example a dark person in the states would be considered black down here in Latin America That might not be the case at all. He could very well be a Moreno or dark Latino So in fact, if you see a very dark guy with straight black hair and you call him black He just might be offended and correct you by saying no Joe soy Moreno, which is a kind of racism, of course Oh and another thing earlier I referred to the fact that many 50 ish gringos come down here and hook up with 25 30 35 year old Latinas And of course if they visited back home in the states with that young girl They would surely feel the heat of all the gossip going on behind their backs as opposed to here in Colombia
[03:58] Latin people as a rule don't really seem to care about big age differences They're not bothered and they rarely talk about it because so many married couples have a huge age spread For example, I probably know three or four married couples were the age spread between the guy and his wife is 20 years or so I'm speaking of native Latin couples, too Why that phenomena is so prevalent down here? I don't know perhaps it's due to the fact that so many Latin guys are womanizers It's not uncommon for them to have more than one family or children from different women how they get away with it I'll never know but they seem to I heard one Latino psychiatrist on TV once explained that older Latin guys are seen as pretty good providers Whereas young Latinos aren't so younger Latin women feel they'll have a guaranteed better lifestyle with an older guy
[04:48] Which is probably true and to that point I've had a few Colombian and Brazilian girlfriends over the years whose parents Had an age spread of 20 years or so. No big deal in South America Those kinds of situations just don't generate any undue gossip However, if that happens in the States, it's the talk of the town Then he says strangely enough in the reverse situation when gringas from the States are down here in Colombia and have a latino Boyfriends, I'd say at least half of the time. It's the American lady That's much older than her latino boyfriend husband or counterpart However, you rarely see that with Latin Colombian couples. So racism classism sexism elitism Yep, they've got all the isms down here But to some degree what country doesn't as for racism Colombia is very diverse and skin tones vary by region
[05:40] Even more so in Brazil though if you were to try to quantify or qualify the skin tones in Brazil You'd find they're very much darker on average than people from Venezuela Argentina or Colombia Brazil really does have a spectrum of skin color You have to see to believe in Colombia where I live skin tones vary by region There are many more black people on the Caribbean coast like Cartagena and in Kali than in Medellin I've been living in the district of poblado Medellin Colombia for some time Yes Poblado is now famous for all the gringos that have been rushing in and driving up real estate prices and Distorting the economy here. You'll find blacks are far and few in between However in other parts of Medellin and in most other Colombian big cities. There is a vastly different ethnic makeup
[06:31] So remember on the Atlantic coast the people are much darker on the Pacific coast Noticeably whiter and not surprisingly in the wealthier suburbs of cities like Cali Bogota Cartagena Medellin You'll find much whiter skinned taller latinos many many more bottled blondes that look like Shakira And the waiters cleaning ladies maids and gardeners mostly short dark brown and indigenous looking. What does that say? Looking at Colombian Congress and government the people are taller and lighter skin, too What does that say and on TV in the media? They're taller and lighter skin, too What does that say it says that in Colombia and Brazil and pretty much the rest of Latin America for a Latin person to live The good life have a car a house or apartment
[07:18] They either have had to have been born in an upper-class family or somehow along the way get mighty lucky Because if a Latin person is born poor there's almost no way out of the cycle of poverty unless they grow up to be beautiful or handsome and That's becoming a reality more and more for many Colombian ladies However, many beautiful Colombian ladies do get shafted on the way up as they get shoved through the media fashion beauty pageant cultural meat grinder Lately there's been a third way out of poverty and into the good life. Thanks to blogging international living and internet mating Dating and hookup sites a lonely heart gringo could come to a girls rescue And why not tens of thousands of people are playing that game? Which is why I think gringos in the states are nuts for contacting women through the popular Colombian online dating sites like
[08:09] Colombian Cupid calm or badu calm Gringos who use those sites are asking for a load of trouble Especially if the girls speak English and most do then you can bet she'll also be wanting or even obsessed with the car Kardashians Disneyland my Johnny US cable TV fast food glitzy fashion and always looking to change Partners in the move on up to the so-called American dream meal ticket. Otherwise known as the good life I know a number of gringos who came down to meet and personally interview the Latin princesses They met on Columbia Cupid calm soon enough They find out most of the girls they meet want to get the hell out of Columbia and move to the states And of course the clueless gringo in the mix has no desire to live in Columbia
[08:58] He wants to bring her back to the states back to his hometown Big mistake that almost never works out because the guy goes back to his 40 hour a week drill press job at John Deere And she's left at home a strange creature in a strange world eating bonbons and watching Spanish cable TV all day Having no friends and family. She'll feel terribly lonely and displaced and soon enough She just might become addicted to food Skype and worst of all the low-class Latin barrio nearest you Then that's so Randy Andy says I have one more tip for clueless gringos If you think you found a real keeper Latina whether on the Colombian dating sites Or if you come down here yourself try this conversation on her
[09:43] Tell her that you're a libertarian and you hate the US government and it all it stands for by the way You'll have to explain what a libertarian is and her eyes will glaze over Then you hit her with both barrels and tell her that you've left the US for good and never want to go back Not even for a visit not even if your grandma dies Not even to visit Mickey or goofy at the Magic Kingdom Tell her your life's plan is to live in Columbia permanently then wait for her response Check out the look on her face if it's extreme disappointment All I can say is I told you so then Andy goes on to say when I first arrived It took me a few years to figure things out I made some foolish romantic moves, but I did find out if you're looking for a nice relationship
[10:32] You must make friends with normal Colombians who are not obsessed with the first world plastic Hollywood culture Now that's not to say they won't be curious about it. Even in Colombia. You can't avoid the first world media However, like I said before the ladies you want to meet work at coffee shops banks malls, etc And the worst place to meet the right kind of girls would be clubs bars and in high-end gringo ice districts like most of Medellin, especially Poblado where there's practically more gringos than locals and now because of all the gringos and Europeans flooding in it's Colombia's wealthiest neighborhood Poblado poblado poblado. It's all the gringos are talking about. I'm tired of hearing about it
[11:19] So if you're really looking for sincere love romance, etc Stick to the smaller cities like Perrier or book at a manga They're really medium-sized cities of about a half a million or so But they get almost none of the press or media coverage of the big five Bogota Cali Medellin Baden Kia and Cartagena You can read my long-winded email if you like Johnny. Thanks for the show and for telling it like it is Normally, I'm not a whiner Colombia is still a very fantastic place as long as you stay out of the big five cities and especially poblado Well, thanks for that. Not so Randy. I guess you've said it all by the way I have a nice little virtual stack of a lot of emails from expats and gringos living in Colombia
[12:08] They tell much the same tale a lot of emails from expat guys in Colombia But what about emails from expat gringas living there? Well, stay tuned got one right here for you and this one comes from a lady who calls herself a gorgeous gringa in Colombia Well, I hope so. You got a lot of competition there. She says Johnny I know all the first-world man talk is generally about sports and sexy women and lately mostly sexy Latin women Especially now the full-figured Colombian type like miss bum bum Yes There is a widely held big bottom beauty pageant that gets national attention even international attention down here and the three Latin countries that throw their hats Or bombs into that ring are Argentina Brazil and Colombia who else so yes
[12:59] It's true. Colombia has some drop-dead gorgeous girls But don't despair gringas like Johnny says you instantly get two or three points add it to your score as long as you come down to Latin America Latin ladies You see set their bar quite low at least that's how us gringas look at it. They have to Because of the low quality of the available males here, and I'm not talking physically either They get quite high points for that. I'm talking about rigid dyed-in-the-wool macho ism So I don't think because a Latin man is highly educated. He's necessarily abandoned his inborn macho nature Is there a way to prove that well Colombian men are the most highly educated of all Latins? No country in Latin America has more men and ladies with bachelors and advanced degrees
[13:46] So you think it would be a more enlightened society, but it isn't Unfortunately even the most educated Colombian men have been catered to all their lives as little princes And then big princes by their moms sisters and sebum grandmothers It's just a fact of life us transplanted gringas have to deal with you won't see one ever sweeping the floor or doing the laundry And even if they cook it's either mom the cleaning lady the maid or the sisters who'll do the cleanup chores And if you happen to be the girlfriend wife or a better half that'll be your responsibility Which is why if you have a Latin spouse you will need a maid Johnny You're right when you say that Latin men are unabashedly super attracted to gringas, so first of all ladies never Underestimate your power you may think yourself unattractive have some annoying traits
[14:36] Yeah, might be neurotic you might be a whiner you might get three o'clock in the morning phone calls from your psycho mom You might prattle on and on and never shut up You might be fat and have way too many cats or maybe you constantly forget to flush the toilet Like I said, you'll need a maid no matter. I'm here to tell you if you are a gringa of any Persuasion, especially if you've got light or bottled blonde hair I might add and if you have clear eyes that would be green blue or gray you have literally hit the jackpot However, you must use that power wisely or you're in for as they say a world of hurt The fact is if you're a gringa in Colombia, you will not fail to meet your Latin mr. Right In fact, every guy will want to be mr. Right including all the married ones
[15:26] Just be sure to check the lack of the wedding band tan and you'll know what I mean many times I've been in a restaurant cafe bar or club and I'll see a guy at a table with his wife or girlfriend doing the lovey-dovey and soon enough I'm at the ladies room or Leaving or out in the front and somehow the same guys Temporarily abandon his lady and he's making a play for me with his date busy on Facebook right in the other room shocking Yes embarrassing. Yes, not for him, but for me, so you will meet your Latin mr. Right? You can be assured of that but mark my words He'll certainly cheat on you which in Latin America is a pardonable offense at least the first or second time I know that probably won't sit well with your female listeners Johnny, but it's true
[16:15] In fact at the health club one day. I did overhear a conversation between two rather good-looking 40-something ladies Discussing how many times they've forgiven their husbands for cheating I was stunned when I lived back in New York. I was never privy to a conversation like that not even close By the way, just nosing around at my health club I've had some real eye-openers most all the men at my club are overly attentive to me and of course are trying to hit on Me even though a good 25% of the ladies I would consider sexier and better looking than I am and I'd rate myself about a seven and a half out of ten Of course, there are latinas not gringas and even though on occasion. I wear my wedding ring You wouldn't believe the persistence of these guys
[17:02] I could be working out on a machine walking down the hall on the escalator going up a staircase All the guys want to get to know me They want to help me out on the machine Give me tips and such trying to impress me with their business titles or lawyer jobs Knowledge of the Chicago Bulls or Knicks just awful. Come on They'll use the lamest lines to find your Facebook page get your phone number your what's up And I did make the mistake early on of connecting one of the trainers there to my what's up I think I've gotten two or three messages a day from the guy for the past six months and I replied maybe Twice in all that time. Yes, of course, these guys are all married and when they try to invite me to coffee or lunch I sometimes say why don't we invite your wife along? You would think that would stop someone in their tracks, but it doesn't always work that way with Latin men
[17:51] That's why Johnny when you talk about great business ideas in Latin America. I've often thought of a gringa business idea I think you could call it something like cheaters anonymous or more precisely the wives of cheaters anonymous then again I don't think there's a stadium in the world big enough to hold even a tenth of the members. Oh and another thing Johnny Yes, it's true. Every middle-class Latina you meet is saving up for a boob butt or lipo job But thankfully if you're a gringa, you don't need any of that Just being a real live gringa in whatever physical shape you happen to be in is enough I also have comments on gringle men who are coming down here looking for love and romance and whatever It seems that there are ten times as many gringle men coming down here as gringa ladies and the men are coming pretty much for
[18:36] The same thing so they're snapping up these young stupid Colombian babes Leaving of course all the hot good-looking Latin guys to us gringas Being that I've been down here about seven or eight years now and my Spanish is pretty good took it in high school and college up in The States then she says I can tell you why so many gringle men who come down and hook up have relationships that crash and burn I can see a couple of fatal flaws here that latinas just don't seem to recognize gringle men hate it when they're not given their space us gringa ladies need our space, too But Latin men do give us that gringle men soon find out that latinas are very clingy They like to be around their men almost all the time. They don't give men their space
[19:23] And I think that's all very reflective of the fact that they know they're latin men cheat So they're constantly around looking for signs trying to keep tabs on him I know that sounds cynical, but I've got no other explanation for it Johnny You've mentioned that for latin's personal spaces at a minimum Which is why when you're standing in lines anywhere people could be rubbing right up against you and touching you That's the Latin society The other half of that is it seems that latin men and women don't really need all that much personal time alone They like to be in groups and to be together like you've said in previous shows Johnny Just look at the way they build their houses They love to have common walls and they love the sound of other families dogs kids and chickens right next door You rarely meet latin's male or female who are loners So I definitely notice compatibility problems when gringle men have latina girlfriends or wives
[20:14] gringle men definitely need their space now They might not do anything more than watch the game on TV or work on their car or surf porn But they definitely need that space and that time alone on the contrary a Scringle ladies that have latin husbands or boyfriends don't have that problem Latin men love to be with their friends watching the game Drinking partying and it seems after a while the only time they're with their ladies is when they get home from work at night And on Sundays, so if you're a gringo coming down to Columbia get used to it Oh, and here's a giggle never expect your latin husband boyfriend or other half to be totally honest with you Which is a double-edged sword for example if you ask him if you're getting fat Unlike some first world men who might level with you Latin men will say no, you're fine
[21:03] You're beautiful and they'll mean it or at least it'll sound like they mean it now I know that some first world studies say that the average person lies at least ten times a day Small little white lies that'll smooth you through various situations You could double or even triple that for Latin men and I suppose it's the same for Latin women, too So get used to it. Most of the time no wrong is intended. It's just that Latins are non Confrontational and do not like to make a stink not in public Anyway, however behind closed doors a couple can really brawl and have some knockdown drag-on fights one minute They could be killing each other in the next minute playing nice if someone happens to be around So we have some big social conundrums here Latin women love to be clingy first world ladies Not so much
[21:49] So Latin men will often complain in private to their other half that their gringo lady doesn't love them enough Not the sex thing But the touchy feely in public thing that Latins are so good at and gringos with Latina partners Don't want them to be so clinging and yet at first in the beginning of a relationship Well, those gringo guys seem to love it kind of a brand new phenomena for most of them I guess so are we ever gonna be able to work all this out? I doubt it Oh and one last thing it's always been said that first world ladies are forever trying to change their men I guess that's true. Their works in progress. Well, what about Latinas? Of course, I have many Latina friends So I'm kind of a second-hand expert on this and here's what it boils down to Gringo men your latin girlfriend wife or other half will constantly try to change you
[22:39] But not in ways you're thinking they'll try to change you into a churchgoer They'll try to get you to go to extended family events that can happen practically every weekend They'll try to get you to go to Mother's and Father's Day celebrations Graduations Kinsey annuals parties in short, they'll try to integrate you and they're mostly very large families though They won't try to change your fundamental habits, which is something us gringas are often accused of and for us gringas with Latino boyfriends other halves and marriage partners the same thing goes get ready to join that extended family or there will be a lot of friction and Get ready to go back to church once in a while to by the way make room for me I think I'm coming to your next seminar in January and as for my Latin other half
[23:26] He doesn't even know I listen to your show. He wouldn't get it I wouldn't expect him to signed a gorgeous gringa in Colombia. Well, thanks for that gorgeous I only have one question. Have you caught yours cheating on you yet? Okay one last email from a gringo living in Colombia He says Johnny, I think you better let your listeners know that if they come down to Colombia Taxes and devaluation of the currency is killing new business startups So do put them on notice that it'll be very difficult to get a business going down here I mean if it's on the books, they've got the highest tax rates in Latin America behind Brazil That's at Johnny the dollar to peso has never been better in a dozen years that I've been here So if you have dollars your purchasing power is about a third better than it was last year
[24:15] So dollars go a long long way on food travel restaurants in that respect It's great, but it's tearing the country down people are losing their purchasing power daily. All right, so here's my story I've been living in Medellin for the past four years and at first I loved it now It's gone downhill first the pluses the people Colombia has some of the nicest people in the world the weather Very warm on the coast, but never that humid healthcare Fantastic private and public systems. I've used both though The public system is cracking around the edges and of course the women Considered by some to be the most beautiful in the world and the minuses Well, let's get more dangerous el columbiano one of our Colombian newspapers published murder rates earlier this week and those in El Centro
[25:03] That's Medellin downtown rival Honduras the highest murder rate capital in the world In fact earlier this week a bomb went off a block from my apartment Not a single mention in the press about it. I've been robbed at gunpoint, too Okay, I know this can happen anywhere But what differentiates Europe and the US is that the police will actually do something here the police do nothing They don't even accept evidence that the robber left behind even though every Colombian is fingerprinted so it should be easy to ID the suspect and That big brother of fingerprinting stuff is starting to come in in a big way, too But don't get me started on that number two even though the currency is crashing against world currencies It's becoming expensive when I look at the prices in the supermarket
[25:50] It shocks me how much more expensive things are than in the US fruits vegetables and milk are less expensive But everything else is big dollars and forget about buying anything imported from other countries or even the first world Heavy heavy taxes on that and speaking of big brother I've been shaken down and asked from my settler by police more frequently than ever and for no reason I look like the average guy when I look back in 2005 to 2010 Medellin used to be a paradise and for many foreigners who live in El Poblado That would be Medellin's Beverly Hills life is better, but you better have the dough However more and more I see the city is getting more dangerous and more unruly my girlfriend who is from El Poblado
[26:37] Agrees with me and wants to leave the city soon people here say Cuenca, Ecuador is the place to go now better food In the Columbia way cleaner quieter cheaper about half for the cost of Medellin a great expat community good bars and less polluted I don't know. We'll see anyway Johnny keep on giving it to us with both barrels Signed just Lester. Okay, let's that pretty much needs no comment Besides we're getting towards the end of the show right now And this will be your last chance to sign up for my July 2016 expat insider seminar go to www the new expat Com click on Johnny's seminar link and you're there and check out John Galt's splendiferous side trips, too I'll be tagging along on his second trip So see you there and finally do check out my youtube channel to see all those wild crazy and true slides
[27:28] We've put together that go right along with the show You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border email me the expat files at gmail.com and if you want me to help you sort out your own Latin American plans schedule a One-on-one consult with me just send an email and let me know at the expat files at gmail.com. No spamos