#591 – The Expat Files: Life, Culture, and Challenges in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started You know I got a lot of emails from people after I did that show Talking about Muslims and Arabs in the Middle Eastern population here in Latin America now one listener who lives in Brazil And you know Brazil has the highest Muslim population in Latin America 1.5 million of them

[00:47] He says he's not happy about it. He sees him all over the place now not like years ago Anyway, he also says of course everybody in Brazil now knows about that 72 virgin thing. By the way He's a Canadian who works in the oil field business. He said before he was in Brazil He was in Saudi Arabia doing the same kind of work and there most of his company workers were Canadians including a few women He said behind closed doors. They spoke of terrorism and the Muslim faith quite a bit You know would it ever hit Canada because Muslims are pouring in there, too Anyway, he said when the question would come up the Canadian woman would always say by the way with some disgust Especially the lady who was an obvious feminist and never let anyone forget about it. She'd always say what about those 72 women?

[01:35] Don't they have any free will at all? Are they just kind of materialized for the benefit of Allah's male martyrs? What about Allah's female martyrs? Anyway, all kinds of questions would come up. Of course, we're talking about fantasy land and all that though I'll never forget what that Canadian lady said. She said if I was a Muslim and I died in the service of Allah. I Certainly wouldn't want 72 guys That would be the definition of hell for me and practically every woman I could think of with that the emailer said to her What would be fair? What would you want? She said I'm a simple person. How about 72 pairs of shoes? So what's this got to do with Latin America? What am I bringing this up for? Well, it's because I'm always talking about boots on the ground here in Latin America, right? And I'm not metaphorically speaking here either. I'm talking about actual boots on the ground

[02:24] Nope, not sandals, Nikes, hushpuppies, penny loafers, or crocs either. I mean real boots It's a prerequisite to finding out what it's really like to live work play and or hang out here in Latin America But ladies generally don't like to wear boots. Not the poop kickers We're talking about anyway. When ladies think boots, they're thinking high heel boots So then is it boots on the ground for guys and high heel boots on the ground for women? Well ladies, that is a good look but not recommended not down here Now of course for my ex-pet insider seminars I always discourage the ladies from bringing down high heels and it's not because they're rare or little used down here It's just the opposite Every Latin lady has a very nice selection of high heels and I'm talking very high heels

[03:10] Yes, even way out in the boonies the indigenous ladies in their typical indigenous clothes Have a couple of pairs of high heels in the closet You'll see them in full force on special occasions And that's even though the roads and sidewalks are absolute minefields for anyone who hasn't got a completely stable shoe We're talking about basic brick-and-mortar infrastructure failure on a large-scale here Yes, when you're walking you have to keep your head down and your eyes open at all times or else and of course It's true down here every time you see a government building a road or a sidewalk or whatever any kind of public project It looks good for a year or two Everything new does including cars and apartments and houses etc But these things degrade rapidly and after a year or two They always seem to fall apart the people down here are so used to that they don't even complain now

[03:55] I'm sure you've heard that universal axiom that money can't buy culture or taste which is why when you walk into a wealthy Latin It's beautiful home. At least it's beautiful on the outside great garden and all that You'll often wonder why a guy with money like that would let his house Deteriorate so the fact is I've been in many million dollar homes where I wouldn't want to sit on the furniture even though most wealthy Latins have at least two full-time maids a gardener a maintenance guy and a 24-7 driver speaking of drivers or Joe fairs as they call him down here If you ever had a chance to get into a wealthy Latins car same thing applies though They might have a late model Audi BMW or even Porsche Cayenne You'll notice right away that even if it's only a couple of months old

[04:42] There'll be scratches here and there the headliner will be scuffed and they'll be stains on the seats and carpeting I've seen it myself many times. In fact, just last week. I was in Costco parking lot I saw an upscale Latin lady get out open the door and whacked the new SUV right next to her and Both cars were shiny new. Nope. She didn't bat an eyelash She just proceeded on into the Costco and by the way, she had high heels on yep Latin ladies are absolutely in love with high heels Now I ask you how many times have you been into Walmart or Costco or office depot and have seen ladies all decked out in high heels Well, you see that all the time down here. Of course, they do it for the guys It's a macho society and guys love that kind of stuff but also because Latin ladies are as a rule a couple inches shorter than first world ladies height or

[05:31] Altura as they call it here is a very important component of a person's self image and self-esteem In fact, there have been times when I'm sitting in a Latin person's living room and they're watching TV and some beautiful girls are on The screen and one or more the ladies in the room will make a point of criticizing someone They believe is too short to be on TV or too short to be famous. How do you like that? I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. In fact, they even talk about height Discrimination down here In fact, it gives new meaning to the phrase tall dark and handsome because down here for a guy to be in great demand with the ladies you don't have to be dark or handsome just tall and look out gringo males and females if you throw in light colored hair and Clear eyes that would be blue green or gray man in the love and romance department. You're playing with dynamite

[06:17] You already knew that was part of your gringo advantage, right? But that's a topic for another show We're talking about infrastructure roads and sidewalks and high heels And it's true. Even though lower middle-class Latin girls even poor Latin girls might only have three pairs of shoes That would be sandals flats and a pair of high heels those three things plus a purse and a cell phone Comprise your basic survival kit per the average Latin girl who takes the chicken bus and now that the third world has discovered What's up? That's turned out to be a gift from heaven to Latin girls who are always dumping money into their cell phones for calls But the strange fact is as ladies move up the social economic ladder. It's not more flats and sandals It's more high heels and of course a bigger better cell phone

[07:04] In fact, there are some Latin ladies that just won't go out of the house without their heels on you see them all the time standing around waiting to get on the chicken bus and Millions of others who walk out of the house in their flats and get on the chicken bus all the while Carrying their high heels around in a bag for a quick change later when they get near work or school or whatever I can't tell you how many times I've heard first-world gringa expats make comments about the high heels that Latin girls are wearing Why because they're always shocked and dismayed by the conditions of the streets and sidewalks They say how can they walk in those things and worse many downtowns and historic districts in Latin America are Cobblestones not only are they terribly uneven to walk on in the best of cases They're always popping out because they're set improperly

[07:53] Reason number two thousand three hundred and twenty six why it's never a good idea to drive at night One of the only things that's more dangerous than driving at night is walking in high heels at night Though you should know that nothing will separate a Latin lady from her high heels And as for you gringo ladies who do come down you two will have high heels. It's inevitable, right? But do be careful a friend of mine down here is an emergency room doc He says the number one reason for emergency room visits is high heel accidents. Just kidding. It's motorcycle accidents Gotcha there, huh? In fact, he says get this in those crappy ill-equipped stinking public national health care hospitals during work hours and rush hour traffic fully 75% of the admissions are due to some kind of motorcycle accident or other if that doesn't surprise you this will in those

[08:46] Private first world style hospitals where you actually have to pay to get treatment. You'll rarely see the victim of a motorcycle crash Why because the national health care hospitals are free and motorcyclists don't carry insurance in fact only about one Percent of them carry insurance and that one percent are wealthy Latins who have Motorcycling as a hobby they're weekend warriors with Harleys and Ducati's and BMWs, etc So the doc says public emergency rooms and trauma units are filled with motorcycle injuries Which he says is one of the big reasons why emergency rooms at private hospitals are almost always empty But he says emergency rooms both public and private handle a lot of leg and foot injuries

[09:32] Mostly on weekends when guys who have had too much to drink stumble and fall on the pavement And that's when ladies are out in force and there's two little heels Anyway, you could say Latin America is the land of high heels on steroids Nothing wrong with that, but it could be dangerous in more ways than one You just have to see it for yourself get your boots on the ground or your high-heeled sneakers or that Conis, you know, that's what they call high heels down here Takones, which also is the word for tack like thumbtack. Guess that paints the picture, right? Speaking of hospital and health care related stuff You've certainly heard me talk about lag time over and over again and how things eventually get down here to Latin America might take six Months might take 20 years

[10:17] It always amazes me that none of the big pharma companies the transnationals has been able to commercialize any of their prescription drugs on Latin American TV, they just haven't been able to make any inroads or break into the market There's just no comparison at all to the crazy drug ads. You're bombarded with every hour of every day And you know, I'm reminded of that fact every time I flick through the channels myself now where I live I have this standard cheap ass Latin basic cable, which runs around 12 or 13 bucks a month Only three of them are in English and they come from the capital of Latin America in the US my jammy So I've got CBS NBC and ABC coming out of Miami in English and every time I land on one of those channels

[11:02] Just one thing I can't help but notice every third commercial is about some prescription drug I've never heard of for some kind of new disease or ailment that didn't exist when I lived back up on the stage a couple Decades ago and you know when I contrast mindless first world TV to mindless third world TV I have to say as much as the production values and the talent down here really stink I mean a high school AV department could do better in most cases aside from that Latins don't know how lucky they are That big pharma hasn't invaded their airwaves and their culture, too. Oh, they're all down here All right Abbott Merc Sandoz bros welcome, etc. They're producing and they've got big factories here But the product is being shipped to the brainwashed and addicted first world Oddly enough with all their manufacturing facilities here in Latin America

[11:51] They've only managed to make their mark in common non-prescription over-the-counter stuff So yes, there are many big pharma TV commercials, but it's all about the old traditional stuff toothpaste mouthwash antacids skin creams feminine products and the commercials Well, they're idiotic and dumbed down, but I do have a personal favorite. It's for a product called Melorex Hc The commercial starts out in a modern call center office with a bunch of people sitting in little cubicles They show a guy in his cubicle starting to sweat. He's all stressed out He stands up looks down at the seat of his chair and suddenly shards of glass start growing out of the seat

[12:37] Then in front of all the office workers He gets down on the floor starts scooting around the office on his butt like a dog That's trying to scratch an unimaginable itch. It's a hemorrhoid commercial Weirdest attention grabber I've ever seen in fact with gringos first see this commercial I think it's gotta be some kind of comedy skit from Saturday Night Live or something But it's not so that's about how far big pharma has penetrated the Latin American market Hemorrhoid products antacids deodorants facial creams and vitamins truly television like it was back in the 60s 70s and 80s So what happened to American first world television? How did all those prescription drug commercials get on the air? When I was a kid they allowed cigarette commercials of all kinds, but prescription drug commercials that kind of stuff

[13:25] Just wasn't allowed. Well, I understand now that during the Clinton administration a law was passed that gave pharmaceutical companies for the first time the right to advertise that stuff recent number 5276 not to vote to continue the Clinton dynasty now Of course your average first world brainwashed person one of the sheeple would certainly be confused If you tried to explain to him or her that it was the American Psychiatric Association along with big pharma that labeled and basically invented many of these new phantom diseases that didn't exist a couple of decades ago And isn't it funny that soon thereafter? There's an expensive toxic pill that you'll have to take the rest of your life. They call that the Hegelian dialectic, right? You philosophy majors out there will know all about that in a nutshell as applied to this case

[14:15] It's when big government or big pharma create a problem that they've already got a solution in the wings for With big pharma, for example restless leg syndrome. They've got a pill for that By the way, I was afflicted with that new ailment before it was an ailment. Yep. Restless leg syndrome. Who'da thunk, huh? You know until the geniuses at big pharma claimed it was a disease I just thought my motor idled a little higher than the next guys Wait a minute. You think I'll have to put that down on my mcdonald's application So I wonder then if I die will that be on my autopsy report? Yep. I can see it all now Johnny mueller dead of a heart attack complicated by restless leg syndrome poor unfortunate fellow Was he a member of restless leg anonymous? I think not. He was a non-conformist surely

[15:03] He never followed through on that 12-step program Restless leg 12-step program forget about it Anyway, unfortunately in their quest to copy and assimilate everything in anything first world Latins too will eventually come to believe they have ailments like that and they'll need the necessary big pharma treatments Yep, they'll swallow the propaganda and the pills hook line and sinker just like most first world people do though Thankfully that's a long way off except for that maybe one to three percent of the latin americans who have real money You know the ones that speak some english Go shopping in my jammy a couple of times a year and well Spend their whole lives trying to copy everything first world gringo so they can prove to their neighbors that they are virtual gringos and have virtual gringo status

[15:51] And although it's laughable even ridiculous to us. It's a very serious thing to them Now you new listeners tuning in maybe for the first time might think i'm a jerk or an ass for saying such things But remember i've been living down here 27 years now And it's true when you first get down here. You just don't notice those things You're still trying to find your footing and kind of maneuvering with the language and such But believe me after a while most gringos come up with the same hypothesis. For example, not three days ago I got a phone call from a gringo who's been down here a little over a year now Came to one of my earlier expat insider seminars and he moved his family down here for good And you know what he said to me on the phone johnny took me a year Dealing with latin's mostly educated high-end latin's and you know what i've get it. I get what you're saying

[16:38] I'm seeing that latin mindset. You always talk about even educated latin's with seemingly thriving businesses Don't have all the first world pieces of the puzzle together It doesn't matter how rich their parents are or what high-end helicopter schools they went through Even if they spent some years up in a first world university, they're short on the details So he said I see that now I get it But where were we? Oh, yeah So the fact is nine out of ten of the ailments that you see big pharma advertising treatments for Every 10 minutes on your tv channels. Just don't ever show up on latin tv Not at all now on occasion a so-called enlightened educated latin person will say hey, you know johnny It just ain't right. I take that back latin's don't say ain't even the educated ones

[17:27] Since at high-end schools they teach proper english not johnny's english Anyway recently an upscale latin who owned his own business said this to me You know johnny too bad we're such a backward country or latin america is such a backward region Then we'd have all that modern up-to-date pharmaceutical stuff, too Yep, gringo wannabes one and all And here's what I told him I said nester Did you know that your country's life expectancy is about exactly the same as a life expectancy of a north american? And we're the ones on all those expensive prescription drugs You've never even heard of and you've got 10 20 even 30 percent of your population living on two bucks a day Meanwhile people on welfare in the states and those working minimum wage are making at least 50 bucks a day

[18:13] How can you explain that which country do you think has the better old age quality of life the us or your country? Then he said in a split second why your country of course I asked him for an example and he didn't have one but said johnny. It's america for christ's sakes You got the best of well everything Then I quickly pointed out that my own brother who was a superb athlete in his younger years and is now in his early 50s Is on 10 prescription medications up from around six medications two or three years ago He's got high blood pressure gout thyroid problems arthritis Insomnia depression gastric reflux knee problems and backaches He's got all the modern diseases the usual suspects and is on the usual suspect prescription medications

[19:03] Yep, and he still lives is what you might call a pretty normal life. But really what's normal about that? Then there's my other brother who's in his late 40s He's only on four prescription medicines had a couple of heart stents already, too Also an award-winning athlete in his younger days. Yep. The miracles of modern first world medicine, huh? So am I supposed to feel good that i've got two brothers that are victims of the medical industrial complex up in the first world They're in good hands, right? Oh, and of course as for me I take no prescription medicine and I don't double dabble with the hemorrhoid cures either Hmm double dabble wrong choice of words Oh and speaking of hemorrhoids in the old days known as piles A pharmacist I know down here told me that 10 years ago

[19:49] There was really no call to stock more than one brand of hemorrhoid medicine and that stuff He said just sat there and gathered dust However, these days it's a funny coincidence He says ever since latin's have had the extra spending money to toss their traditional diets aside for junk food and more or less fast food diets Gastric problems and hemorrhoids are big business at the pharmacies So bottom line he says people have enough money for junk food, but they don't have enough money for prescription drugs So though it's sad and it's a pity that the average latin only makes around three to four hundred bucks a month The good news is because of that big pharma has not penetrated the market and it looks like they won't for a long long time Why it's obvious. There's no money in it. You can't get blood from a stone

[20:36] Not to mention only two to three percent of latin americans have any kind of health insurance That means no prescription medicine coverage either Okay, switching gears here, but not too much I just came across an article today in the biggest daily honduran newspaper It starts with an unusual headline question. It asks Are you or your neighbor stealing electricity? Wow, that gets your attention, right? Well in this article, it says that in the country of honduras population approximately eight million It's estimated that year over year the electric power company loses on average 15 million dollars specifically due to individuals and companies stealing electricity directly from power poles or by directly Bypassing electric meters then it goes on to say in spanish, of course

[21:25] In other words They really don't know the correct amount that 15 million is just an estimate Then it says the electric company itself really has no way of telling if people are stealing electricity Except when instances are reported by friends or neighbors. In other words Loose lips sink ships for example in the town of el progressa honduras a town of around 140,000 people last year in 2015 172 cases of stealing electricity were reported to the local electric company Certainly turned in by envious neighbors who weren't on that gravy train Then it goes on to say most of the power theft occurs in congested poor neighborhoods where there's no zoning houses

[22:12] Have common walls and no formal construction plans making the situation very difficult for Technicians and experts to tell when and where electricity is being stolen In addition, most of it is stolen at night and on weekends when electrical workers are off shift But there's more it says they suspect many of the illegal installations are carried out by former or present electric company employees Then the article says an electric company spokesman said you can always find someone who can do an illegal installation for a price Now if you live in a gated guarded community chances are slim that you're going to be able to cheat the power company Those subdivisions are too organized and first world-like to get away with it though, I personally know a gringo and

[23:00] A few latins including one who owns a substantial business who get their power free or at a very very reduced rate No, not legally, of course, but they've been getting away with it for years However, if you live in a middle or lower middle class neighborhood There are bound to be people nearby who are stealing electricity could be the neighbor next door the guy across the street Most likely the guy who leaves his lights on day and night Now you long time listeners might remember in a show probably four years ago or so now I mentioned that an expat gringo teacher friends of mine bought some land built a little house And as the story goes when his electrician was wiring his house He asked my friend how big or small an electric bill would he like to have? And my friend said why do I have a choice and the guy said yes, what a question, huh?

[23:47] And the teacher friend said what what are you talking about? He said well, I could hook it up straight and you'll pay the normal rate or I can Wire the meter so you'll pay about half of that or even less and i'll tell you how to do that But do note My friend only received that offer from the electrician because he kind of buddied up to him bonded with him gave him coffee A couple of beers once in a while plus he spoke spanish to the guy. That was the key At least that's how my friend explained it to me. So here's how the electrician did it Now you probably all know that houses have both 110 and 220 volt services, right? But what you might not know is they call it a balanced circuit There's actually two 110 volt lines coming into the house A ground or neutral and two hot lines each one of those is 110 if you put a meter across them to ground

[24:40] But if you put a meter across the two hot lines, it's 220 Anyway, you can split out a 220 volt system into two 110 volt systems He only hooked up one of the 110 volt systems through the meter and the other one he bypassed completely So pretty much half of his house was paying the normal rate for electricity and the other half paying nothing Well, the electrician went around the house and showed him which Outlists he would be paying for and which ones he would not be paying for And told him if he really wanted to have a stupendously low bill He was to use mostly the outlets that were free However, he told them not to be stupid or greedy and go overboard with it Someone might notice the discrepancy like for example the guard at the guard check who receives all the bills every month and hands them

[25:25] Out to the owners or perhaps the electric company would pick up on it themselves Though the electrician assured him they were so disorganized that probably would never happen So in the end my friend was paying I think around eight or nine bucks a month and that went on for years He showed me the bills. I couldn't believe it Meanwhile most other people in his gated guarded community were paying 30 40 50 even 60 bucks a month And you know for a while I was jealous. Don't tell me you're not don't be righteous who wouldn't be Okay, we're getting towards the end of the show now And i'd like to remind you you can still sign up for my january 2017 expat insider seminar It's been called by many the fastest easiest and best way to jump start your own plan b Besides that what you really need is contacts and a network once you get down here

[26:12] You can't do this stuff on your own and that's what we're here for So just go to www the new expat.com and click on johnny's 2017 seminar at the top of the page and while you're there Don't forget john gault's famous pre and post seminar trips It's a way to get the best use of your boots on the ground time here in latin america Don't just come for the seminar Take one of john gault's trips and work on some of the other aspects of getting your plan be down like for example Getting your residency started or a bank account etc Oh, and don't forget my youtube channel Just go to youtube slash the expat files and see all the fun slides and related pictures that go along with the show Do subscribe it's free and finally I hate to mention this again But if you're getting any emails from an old site, I used to be affiliated with expat wisdom

[27:00] They're not sanctioned by me. They're not authorized to use my name my reports or my mailing lists So don't get suckered in by any pitch or promotion the stuff's not coming from me The fact is if i'm going to offer any kind of extra promotion or deal you'll hear it on this show first It just won't come to you by email out of the blue I'll always give you a heads up on this show So don't get sucked in by anybody trying to use me my name or this show To try to get you to sign up for things or sell your crap hate to have to mention that again But there are bad guys out there south of the border You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com

[27:46] And if you want me to help you sort out your own latin american plans schedule a one-on-one consult with me Just send an email and let me know at the expat files at gmail.com