#595 – The Expat Files: Pets, Pests, and Practical Living in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the Expat Files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started There are a lot of pet lovers out there And I'd say at least 25% of expat wannabes and wannabes have pets and they ask me all the time about bringing them down Which is not a cut-and-dried subject There are a lot of horror stories out there of pets being stuck in quarantine suffering with cold heat

[00:50] dehydration in a cargo hold of a jet up at 30,000 feet and funny enough you even hear of old ladies and their lap dogs flying together first class I've seen that actually Once I sat next to a little old lady with Dolly Parton lacquered hair and her tiny chihuahua cage packed under her seat in First-class, I guess first class has its privileges I mean you pay about five times as much for the seat and the reason why I was first class Well, I got a mileage upgrade By the way, that's what I'd do if I won the lottery I'd start flying first class all the time No, Ferraris, Maseratis, helicopters or glitzy beach houses for me Though a Tesla would look awful nice in the driveway wouldn't it anyway for those of you thinking of bringing your dog cat or python down You should visit this site called PetTravel.com before you do anything

[01:37] I've never seen a more complete site when it comes to moving your pets around the world You just click on the country where you're thinking of shipping your pet Then you download the proper veterinary and immigration forms right from that site and you're off So as for my bit of advice in that area I'd say be a little cautious if you have a very old pet because Pets being creatures of habit even more than we are when they're old especially they just don't adapt to their new environment or Climate very well. In fact, I've seen animals exhibit a kind of a location or habitat shock Young and adult animals get over it rather quickly But older ones not so much especially if you're moving them from a climate That's got four seasons like for example Chicago or Cleveland to one that's got just two I can't tell you how many times I've seen a long-haired pet suffer while his owner happily sips umbrella drinks in a hammock by the beach

[02:29] Bottom line don't bring your shepherds and huskies and long-haired dogs down if you're gonna be hanging out at sea level by the beach Short-haired dogs and cats though seem to do fine Now the good news is most expats who move down to Latin America have a nice big yard often much larger than the one they had Up in New York or Atlanta, so there'll be all those great new places and smells for your animal to explore Oh, but do remember there are so many more and different kinds of wild creatures living down here It gives a completely new meaning to the phrase look what the cat dragged in Speaking of what the cat dragged in expat Eddie's got a cat that drags in all kinds of weird creatures iguanas frogs crabs turtles even those Disgusting giant kookarachas Gotta hate those things they're kind of like the insect version of a Mac truck the little ones

[03:18] You know you can step on and forget about but those big ones you don't want to step on them They make a mess out of the floor in the bottom of your shoe now I know you've got kookaraches up in the states every big said he's got trillions of them But I have to say all those years. I lived in a middle-class suburb of Chicago I never once saw a single kookaracha in my parents house never of course my mother came from a family that were More or less European German clean freaks, so if there were any kookaraches around they had no feast and were probably quite anorexic Now my brothers got a friend who's a Chicago building inspector And he says that for every person in Chicago there are 10,000 kookaraches that would mean there's a big vacancy at my mother's house Oh boy not to say kookaraches aren't everywhere down here, too But if you stick to just a few simple good habits you might never see them lurking in your house at all in fact

[04:07] I see only about two or three kookaraches a year where I live in fact the last two I smushed came from a box I brought in from Costco So your house might be free of them for a while, but eventually they'll get in sometimes with your help now you longtime listeners No, I once gave you a recipe for what I call kookaballs those little 100% natural kookaracha Exterminators that you can place around your home all you have to do is make up a dozen or so and put them in strategic Locations so you make these things up into tiny little balls about half the size of the nail on your pinky finger They're made of 50% flour 50% borax a pinch of brown sugar and some water you put it in a bowl knead it to the consistency of cookie dough

[04:53] Make up a dozen or so little balls position them in the cupboards and closets in your kitchen And behind your refrigerator make sure you place them where the wall meets the floor Those are the usual pathways the kookaraches like to run they're creatures of habit, too You can also put them deep in the corners of your food pantries and cupboards now I've used this method for years And I change out those kookaracha balls for fresh ones about every four to six months and note They're not in the open at all when you walk around the kitchen You can't see them because they're nicely tucked in the hidden places where kookaraches like to dwell and about that ingredient borax B-o-r-a-x by the way you won't find it in your average grocery store or Walmart However, sometimes you will find it in a hardware store

[05:40] It's a white powder that usually comes in a sealed tin can and if you can't find it there All you have to do is go down to a tool shop or a welding supply place because they use pure borax as a flux in certain welding operations They'll usually sell you a cup or a scoop of it and put it in a plastic bag for you for just a couple bucks You might remember borax from the 20 mule team borax laundry detergent commercials back in the 60s and 70s Borax was one of the active ingredients. It's non-toxic to humans But you don't want to eat it But I still use plastic gloves to knead it with the flour and the water and the pinch of brown sugar So why am I mentioning this again? Well, I think it's about time I went through this a couple of years back and people who just don't know about this simple technique

[06:25] Often bombard their houses and kitchens with all kinds of toxic chemicals and sprays and you know down here in Latin America You can get a lot more of that stuff than you can up to the states because it's virtually unregulated Yes, you can get raid and off and all the other toxic brands as well as a lot of brands You've never heard before all in Spanish. Of course always much cheaper than those first world brands, too I'd keep away from all that stuff unless I had a true infestation. But again, it's buyer beware Now get this local Latin homes, which are usually infested with kookarachas with them. It's live and let live They gave up on the kookaracha battle generations ago and basically just ignore them And even if they wanted to fight back the owners know nothing of the kookabool technique and they don't spray with insecticides either

[07:11] If they did they'd be added all the time and it'd get way too expensive Forget about the fact that insecticides are toxins. They know nothing of that either It's all about lag time just like people poured on the DDT a few generations that go back in the states That's the mentality of latin's here and now so really it's a good thing that insecticides down here are expensive For latin's that is it pretty much keeps the stuff out of their hands. Oh, and by the way Here's something you really have to look out for people down here use the word kooka Cuc a as a short word for kooka ratcha. It's also used as a vulgar slang word for vagina So do watch out how you use that phrase in mixed company In other words, if you have any latin female visitors and they inquire about those little balls in your kitchen cupboards

[07:58] You're much better off saying they're for kooka ratchets than for kookas Anyway, like I said all families have learned to live with their own family of kooka ratchets I can tell you by my own experience that every single latin person I know and every single latin home I've been in has to our first world sensibilities. Anyway, a kooka ratchet problem and Overwhelmingly, so in their kitchens. However, all latins are quite used to them They've grown up with them that said when they see one scampering across the floor of the countertop They're in no way horrified or even get the heebie-jeebies Most times they just let them scamper on their way and don't even swat them now I can tell you most gringos and gringas I know especially gringas they instantly subtract a few points when they go into a person's house and see a few kooka ratchets Just hanging around and as for latin families who basically live in a kind of symbiotic relationship with them

[08:49] I've noticed that when they don't have company and kooka ratchets are making their presence known It's no big deal at all and they're just ignored however, if there's a party company or especially if there's a gringo coming to the house when a Kookaracha rears its ugly head the attack forces mobilize. It's oh That's disgusting and the owner dives for the flyswatter as if the presence of a kookaracha is somehow an unnatural and disgusting occurrence So again, it's all about appearances all about the show gotta make the gringo. Think you've got a happy hygienic home So call me stuck up. Call me a food snub. Call me a dick But I just don't like eating dinner over at a Latin person's house That's why when I'm there the dog under the table always feasts like a king

[09:34] And if you think food preparation in upper middle class or even wealthy Latin homes is any better or more hygienic than in Middle or lower middle class even poor Latin homes You're mistaken because guess who's cooking the food the maid or the cleaning lady Who's used to living side by side and knows to know is with thousands of kookarachas and her own tiny little Laminated house with no screens and sometimes not even glass in the windows and believe me when Latin people hire maids even Upper middle class and wealthy Latins the boss lady just gives the orders to clean the house do the laundry the food shopping and the cooking From what I've seen there doesn't seem to be any kind of training or follow-up whatsoever By the way, that's why most restaurant owners like for example expat Eddie who's had many restaurants insist that people who apply for jobs

[10:22] Obtain what they call a certificate of the salute is an Italian. That's a Certificate of health and sanitation. That's a one-day two to four hour course in hygiene and cleanliness Offered by most every Latin countries health department However, there are ways to pay off people to get that certificate without even taking the course Probably half the people do it that way and Eddie who actually attended one of those courses some years back to see what it was Like said it was basically useless and half-assed at best But better than nothing now as far as the maids and cleaning ladies that I've had over the years I just won't let them do the cooking. I'd rather just do it myself. They have such bad and unhygienic habits I just don't want to let them loose in the kitchen I know I know I sound like a jerk right but I'm not in any way a chef or an expert at cooking

[11:10] And I don't feel like training of myself. In fact, I wouldn't know where to start So then how'd I get that bad attitude? Well, I've been to many upper-middle class and wealthy Latins homes I've popped in and out of kitchens and I've watched maids and cleaning ladies cooking for their bosses families Let me tell you in most cases. I'd say most all cases They pretty much use the same unsanitary techniques that people use in those food stands and kiosks You see everywhere on the streets in Latin America I won't go into detail here But for all of you who've been down to Latin America and have walked through the busy streets where the kiosks and food carts abound You'll know exactly what I'm talking about That said I do know some expat gringas not gringos Who have taken things into their own hands and have whipped their cleaning ladies and maids into shape so well

[11:57] That you really can't trust everything and anything that they cook, but I'll tell you It's the rare maid who cooks who actually disinfects the vegetables going into raw salads Which is why I won't eat raw salads at anyone's house Which is also why Montezuma and I have not crossed paths for a long long time But it's the rare gringa who goes through all that time and effort to whip them into shape now I mentioned expat American gringas here not gringos because gringos as a rule don't really give a damn They just want someone to prepare their food and they don't care how it's done. They just want to eat Well as Shakespeare might have said I ain't one of those and you know I still think it's a great idea for a gringa to put together some kind of a Weekend for eight-hour course where rich latin ladies can send their maids and cleaning ladies to bring them up to gringo standards

[12:46] Part one how to clean and manage a house first world style part two hygiene cleanliness and food preparation in the kitchen You know I've been bringing this up for a couple of years now, and I've yet to see someone do it So is there a market for it? I'll tell you what every gringo and gringo. I know would send their maiden cleaning lady That's for sure, and I believe the upper middle class and wealthy latins would jump on board in a hurry to for the bragging rights If nothing else and the cost to market a weekend course like that probably almost nothing But I digress as usual man that I digress I was talking about pets right Anyway, here's a latin vet story Was that the vet the other day with a sick dog and the vet said he needs an injection every day for a week Now we're not talking about vaccinations here

[13:33] I don't believe in them not for man nor beast and for those of you who are confused about that just rent the movie vax to be a XXED But regarding pets and vaccines when you first get a pet they're usually two months old or so and have had some vaccinations You can't help that, but you don't have to continue with it now if you think that's cruel unusual and mean I have a report in my hand. It's called are you? Vaccinating your dog way too much the answer. Yes Listen to this it starts out by saying it's recently been reported by the senior brand manager of Bollinger Ingleheim one of the top pharmaceutical and Vaccination companies for pets in the world. He says quote the majority of vets are over

[14:20] Vaccinating in fact he and other scientists are saying vaccines are causing many of the ailments certain dogs are afflicted with today again It's all about the dough and what you and I don't know up in the first world vaccines have become a very big cash flow item For vets so anyway, I have this brand new PDF report, and if you want it send me an email And I'll ship it off for free I know this isn't a show about pets But when you ship one down to Latin America or you pick up a pet down here that is in our living in Latin America universe now isn't it? Anyway this week I was with a sick dog in the vets office and as I sat there watching the vet give the dog his first injection I said you mean I have to come back six more times so you can do this and Me being a kind of a cost-conscious guy who asks a lot of questions

[15:06] I asked her how much the injections and the visits were gonna cost each time and she said oh around five bucks I said what five bucks, and I guess I said it wrong or she took it wrong Thinking maybe I thought she was gouging me But just the opposite five bucks for an office visit and an injection those are 1960s prices then she left the examination room for a second came back with five ampoules in her hand and five syringes She said if you don't want me to do it you can do it yourself at home Then she asked me have you ever done injections before if not here's how you do it Then she grabbed the dog by the neck and said you just pull up the loose skin jab it in here and inject slowly Then I said wait a minute you mean a lot of people inject their own pets down here

[15:54] She said when necessary sure now that threw me a bit when I lived in the states I always had dogs, and I never knew anyone that shot up their own dog now of course if you were a human diabetic I think you'd have no problem shooting up your dog Maybe at least you'd know how in fact I've got some immediate family members up in Chicago who are injectable diabetics They're overweight of course and have a typically terrible American diet, but they eat what they eat They're not gonna change you know the drill like most Americans They know what they should do, but they just don't have the discipline, but again. That's another story anyway So here's the question. We all know people up in the states with pets, but do you know of any who inject them? Well, I guess maybe some of you up there have pets with diabetes, and that's necessary, but I don't know of any well

[16:39] The point is veterinarians down here in Latin America are Comfortable with just handing over the ampoule and syringes and saying go ahead and they'll train you how to do it, too And you know I actually did take the syringes and the ampoules and stuff and that's what I'm doing now injecting the dog And how do I know how to do that? And why do I seem comfortable with it being that I'm not a diabetic nor a heroin addict well It's that I did an advanced CPR and emergency medicine course way back when and learn how to do all that stuff So it's no big thing to me And when I mentioned to the vet in Spanish of course that I don't think anyone up in the states would be comfortable Shooting up their pets. She said yes. I know I have a friend up in the states Who's also a veterinarian then she said can you believe it? They have to carry malpractice insurance up there, and she said up in the states

[17:29] That could never send anyone home with an ampoule and a syringe to shoot up their pet sometime later That would violate the terms of the malpractice insurance. Nope can't get away with that up in the states Just another reason why the first world in Latin America are worlds apart in various things and all to the good down Here oh, and let's get back to the fact that a vet down here will only charge up five bucks If you have to come back and get an injection for your animal Hell you'd pay more than that for a short cab ride to the vet up in the states wouldn't you? So what do vets charge up in the states look it up the average visit 45 bucks the average booster shot or injection 18 to 35 bucks all in all some very good reasons why you really have to get that plan B in motion Okay, switching gears just a little bit on the last few shows

[18:18] I've been talking about shipping stuff down from the states to Latin America And I spoke just briefly about shipping vitamins and supplements that you just might not be able to get down here in Latin America I know many of you listeners take them as do I and I also mentioned in previous shows that they have GNC down here and now the vitamin shop you probably heard of that company It's a franchise from the states and both of those franchises do have many of the vitamins and supplements that you'll need or want But not all now the vitamins and supplements you might want to buy at those ripoff joints will be two to six times as expensive as You can get them by ordering direct from the supplier up north or from Amazon So then who buys that junk from the vitamin shopper GNC? Well, it's not astute gringos. I'll tell you that

[19:05] It's upscale Latins who do it for bragging rights and prestige Expats are not that dumb. We order from Amazon or whatever and have them shipped down not directly to Latin America Remember that's very expensive but through one of those freight forwarding services that has a my jammy office and mailing address So what are the import taxes on that kind of stuff? Well, it depends in some countries medicines vitamins and supplements have no import tax Whereas in other Latin countries it could be 10 20 even 30% now to avoid all that you can select the freight forwarding service That's all-inclusive a fixed price per pound where you pay no import taxes or adwana fees And as for me when it comes to vitamins I'll have the stuff shipped down through a service that costs six dollars and fifty cents a pound That's the all-inclusive fee

[19:52] So for example, I can order four bottles of coins. I'm q10 120 capsules in each bottle Total weight coming in around one pound That means my cost from the my jammy box to Latin America's six dollars and fifty cents complete And you know in most cases when dealing with a company like Amazon if you order over a certain dollar amount 50 75 100 bucks Depending or if you belong to Amazon Prime you get free shipping throughout the US That means when you have it shipped from wherever to my jammy doesn't cost you anything So your total cost for four bottles of coins i'm q10 about a year and a half supply Six dollars and fifty cents for shipping direct to your latin country However, sometimes amazon alibaba ebay and the others will pack some other junk in the box

[20:41] Promotions and pamphlets and samples and such and it'll go over the advertised shipping weight And you'll never know until your shipping company advises you by email what the actual weight and cost will be So then even in the case of the four bottles of coins i'm q10 If it comes in at two pounds because of the extra added unwanted junk, that's only an additional six dollars and fifty cents Now if you remember from my last two shows I mentioned there's two ways to ship you can use the One-shot deal at six to eight bucks a pound which includes all import taxes and duties Or you can have it shipped a much cheaper way for around two dollars and fifty cents a pound and pay the taxes Whatever they are and that could be quite arbitrary in my experience Even though I said that most latin countries won't charge you taxes or eva on vitamins and supplements

[21:28] Sometimes they'll do it anyway So what you're gonna do if they charge you an extra 20 30 even 40 bucks on an order who can you complain to? Well, no one really and i'm bringing this up because it's happened to me In fact just last year. I ordered I think around 250 dollars worth of vitamins and supplements Normally they're exempt from taxes and duty So I shipped the cheaper way at two dollars and fifty cents a pound and lo and behold when I got the stuff I only had to pay five bucks Two pounds right along with an unexpected 20 import duty. That's 50 bucks extra Even though vitamins and supplements are supposedly exempt Well, sometimes they are because i've done it that way before But this is latin america and unless you've got infinitely more time than money

[22:13] If you try to fight it, it could take days or weeks going from office to office trying to find the right person From slug to slug trying to get the right signatures And if they ever admit their mistakes and you do get a refund check Try cashing it when latin governments are perpetually broke Of course, they are in the first world too, but the game goes on at least for a while So by all means do the calculations between the two different kinds of services But when in doubt choose the higher price one that would be in this case six dollars and fifty cents a pound all Included that way there won't be any surprises. Oh, and by the way, I mentioned the vitamin shop a couple minutes ago Yep, they're franchising down here now, too. I've been in a few to check the prices and they're outrageous And like I said astute gringo expats do not shop at gnc or the vitamin shop because they know how ridiculous those prices are

[23:03] And they know the ins and outs of shipping in their latin american country, too So it's upscale and wealthy extreme gringo wannabes who shop there It is a brilliant marketing strategy though The vitamin shop and gnc always appear in high-end malls nearly always within walking distance or right next door to an upscale gym or health club So I guess it knew it had to come gnc's been down here latin america probably 10 years now and they had no competition so now the vitamin shop with 700 stores up in the states found a niche that gnc first discovered a niche that Consists of upscale latin extreme gringo wannabes willing to pay whatever to appear to be hip with the trip For them it's fashionable. It's the fad factor. They believe everything they see in ads on first world tv

[23:52] Since for sure if they knew how to do any kind of research or investigation on the internet They'd find 75 of the junk they sell at the vitamin shop in gnc is overpriced garbage And by the way true to form as I mentioned on a show a couple of weeks ago Us base franchises are losing market share and their profits are falling dramatically Which is why they're expanding to latin america In fact just recently there was an article in the wall street journal about the vitamin shop the headline vitamin shop profits fall 47% says expenses rise and the company saw lackluster revenue performance in the us Meanwhile, they've just opened three brand new stores and of all places guatemala city Yep lag time and the gringo advantage rise again. Oh, and how about this? This is true to form

[24:39] I'm reading the article right now It says the vitamin shop also said it expects on news of this unprecedented quarterly profit loss To repurchase three to four percent of its outstanding shares during the following year as part of its previously announced buyback initiative Okay, you all know about those buyback initiatives that have been going on for the past couple of years with all this zero interest rates It's a kind of a corporate last-ditch effort to prop up their own stock prices When sales are down and they see no positive news on the horizon, you know that already right now upset about that Now if you listen to my previous show You know, I mentioned there are other options and solutions and a plan for getting out of dodge for listeners Who just can't afford to get boots on the ground or come to one of my expat insider seminars here in latin america

[25:30] Sure. I do understand. Most of you just can't drop everything and come down Not just yet. Anyway, but all is not lost not by a long shot And though the clock is ticking you've still got options You can still move forward with your plan b from right where you are by just going to www.expatplanb.com That's where you'll be able to check out what I call my new expat essentials It's a 35 video course with almost nine hours of content done by me yours truly. That's You started i've got three free videos for you to see again. That's www.expatplanb.com check it out. You're gonna like it now speaking of my expat insider seminar

[26:15] You can still sign up. Just go to www.thenewexpat.com Click on johnny's 2017 seminar link and get in on those early bird discounts We're three quarters filled now. So there are some spots left and don't forget if you're coming down We've got those special john gulp pre and post trips too And talk about killing two three even four birds with one stone A lot of people have not only signed up for the seminar They've signed up for john gulp's pre and post trips too as well as making arrangements to start their permanent or temporary residency process And still others have asked for our medical tourism recommendations So if you've got time you can fit that into the trip too So yes, when you come down you can do all that and more my seminar staff can help you arrange all of it

[27:01] Just go to www.thenewexpat.com and click on johnny's 2017 seminar link and click on the john gulp pre and post seminar trips too All right, that said i'd like to remind you all once again If you get any emails coming from an old set, I was once affiliated with expat wisdom Although they're insinuating that the emails are coming from me. They're not so don't fall for it And finally, don't forget to have a look at my youtube channel youtube slash the expat files all one word Don't forget to subscribe. It's free South of the border You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america coming to you twice a week from somewhere south of the border Email me the expat files at gmail.com

[27:46] And if you want me to help you sort out your own latin american plans schedule a one-on-one consult with me Just send an email and let me know at the expat files at gmail.com. Nos vemos Spanish