Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller shares his personal experiences and practical advice for expats living in Latin America. The episode covers a range of topics, including crime and safety, document security, car theft, and emergency preparedness. Johnny recounts his experiences of being robbed in Costa Rica, emphasizing that while crime statistics may be high, violent crime is relatively low. He advises expats to remain calm, let thieves have their money, and politely ask for their passports back if possible. He also highlights the importance of keeping copies of important documents, scanning them, and storing them securely, either physically or digitally, to ensure they are accessible in emergencies.
Johnny then shifts focus to evaluating the safety of countries in South America, emphasizing that most are relatively safe, with exceptions like Venezuela and rural Colombia. He addresses concerns about Brazil, noting its high crime rates, lack of effective police, and the prevalence of scams, while also acknowledging its economic challenges and the misleading portrayal of it as a powerhouse. The segment concludes with a discussion on the common practice of tourists renting cars to explore tropical countries, highlighting the risks of car theft and break-ins in parking lots, especially in areas like beach destinations and national parks. Johnny explains that even secure-looking parking lots can be unsafe, with attendants often living on-site and having little incentive to protect vehicles.
The episode also covers the challenges of parking and securing cars in La Saba, a city on the Caribbean coast of Honduras, which serves as a gateway to nearby islands like Roatan and Utila. Johnny explains that while parking in La Saba is convenient, it comes with significant risks, including theft of car parts or the entire vehicle. He highlights the lack of accountability from parking lot attendants and the limited recourse for tourists, who often have to rely on rental car insurance. Johnny offers practical advice on how to protect one's car, such as disabling the ignition system by removing the appropriate fuse from the car's fuse box, and warns against relying on car alarms, as thieves in the region are often familiar with bypassing them.
In addition to car security, Johnny discusses the importance of having an extra key stashed in a secure location to avoid the hassle of being locked out of one's car. He highlights the risks of being in a dangerous neighborhood when keys are lost and suggests hiding keys in a hidden zipper pouch on a belt. He also warns against carrying valuables during hikes or in nature, especially in areas like jungles or national parks, where theft is common. Johnny recommends hiding valuables in the air cleaner cover of a car, which is less obvious to thieves, and explains how to access this space.
Finally, Johnny provides practical advice for expats living in Latin America, focusing on car security and maintenance. He shares his personal experience of successfully parking and securing cars in various Latin American countries, emphasizing that it's a straightforward and reliable method. He then discusses the challenges of parking in the sun, highlighting the damaging effects of intense sunlight on vehicles, particularly on plastic and painted surfaces. He also mentions the importance of using dashboard protectors to prevent dashboard deterioration and fading. The episode concludes with a discussion on the strict tinting regulations in the United States compared to the more lenient and often unenforced laws in Latin America, noting the prevalence of heavily tinted windows and the resulting difficulty in seeing inside cars.
Topics
Safety in Latin America, Crime statistics in Costa Rica, Personal experiences of expats, Practical tips for expats, Document security and encryption, Safety in South America, Crime and security in Brazil, Economic realities of Brazil, Expats and tourism in South America, Tourism and freedom of movement, Car theft and security in tropical destinations, Parking lot security and attendants
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:49 Introduction to the Show and Personal Experience with Crime in Costa Rica 00:01:08 Johnny's Personal Experience with Robbery and Advice on Dealing with Thieves 00:03:03 Practical Tips for Expats on Document Security and Backup 00:04:05 Document Security and Encryption Recommendations 00:04:47 Safety in South America and Exceptions 00:05:31 Crime and Security in Brazil 00:07:07 Economic Realities of Brazil 00:08:14 Tourists and Car Rentals in Tropical Countries 00:09:08 Tips to Avoid Car Theft and Break-ins 00:12:11 Introduction to La Saba and the Islands 00:13:10 Theft and Liability in Parking Lots 00:13:51 Tips for Protecting Your Car 00:17:00 Avoiding the Hassle of Lost Keys 00:18:07 Carrying Valuables in Nature 00:18:39 Hiding Valuables in Your Car 00:21:06 Car Security Tip for Expats 00:21:23 Parking Challenges in the Sun 00:23:29 Tinting Regulations in the US vs. Latin America 00:24:49 Tinted Windows and Crime Perception in Latin America 00:26:28 Importance of Liquid Tire Inflators for Expats
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:01] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love When the stars above came out to play Hi everybody, I'm Johnny Mueller And you're listening to the Exped Files Living in Latin America The one of a kind show that tells you what it's like To live, work, play and or retire in Latin America So let's get started He was a picture in Old Spanish Now on the last show, I talked about the safest countries To work, play, live and or retire in Latin America As well as the most dangerous countries Which I said pretty much includes all of Central America
[00:47] All the countries north of Colombia And I mentioned that Costa Rica was an exception In that their crime statistics are quite high But violent crime is low In other words, you get robbed and scammed Just as much as any other country in Central America But after they're done robbing you They generally won't beat the crap out of you Or shoot you That is unless you have a really big mouth Because in my own personal experience down here After being robbed a half dozen times in the last 20 years I've learned that it's a very good idea To let these guys be in complete control Or let them think they are I mean of course agree with everything they say And ask them very politely If you can keep your identity documents Unless of course you don't mind spending three days down at the embassy Trying to unscrew that mess And I don't know what you've heard or read about Trafficking of stolen documents down here
[01:34] I personally know some people who've had their documents stolen But that wasn't the main point of the robbery Not at all It was about the money, the cell phone, the credit card or the iPod And I think that document theft rumor is way overblown Because these days with all the embedded chips and barcodes And passports and identity documents That it seems like it would be awful hard To alter documents like that to suit somebody else Even if you're an absolute pro Just one scan through a machine at the border or the airport And you're screwed And believe it or not I was told by an official at the airport That passports and ID documents As long as they have a barcode on them Can be scanned in red at any place that has a barcode scanner Like Sears or Walmart Or any other place that scans the barcodes on your products before you buy them
[02:20] And they can pull up all your ID and passport data Right up on a checkout counter screen Which is another reason why passport and ID document theft Just can't be that much of a going concern Not when a Walmart checkout lady can read your scan So I always suggest if you do get robbed Let the guy have your money and stuff But ask him at least if you could have your passport back And sometimes they'll actually oblige It's work for me and other expats that I know There's no harm in asking That is unless the robber seems like a complete psychopath And if you open your mouth and say anything He's liable to cut your throat But it seems like being a thief down here Is just a job They don't really want to hurt you They just want to get in your face Take your money and leave And by the way that reminds me You should always have a copy of all your important documents
[03:06] Hidden away in your car Or your hotel Or your house Or with your lawyer down here Or in some other good place And another great idea is to have your documents scanned And it's fast and easy since practically everybody has a scanner these days And if you don't have one Certainly your lawyer will And there's always Office Depot and mailboxes etc And Kinko clones And all the thousands and thousands of little internet cafes down here Not to mention these days If you have an iPhone or a Blackberry You can actually get a scanner app Now after you scan them You just download them into a file in your little USB flash unit And then you upload them into your email account You know if you got Yahoo or Gmail or whatever All you have to do is write an email to yourself And save those scans as attachments Then you know they're always available If there's an emergency
[03:51] And you can access them anytime from anywhere in the world As long as you've got internet access So it's nice to know that Even if you get your car stolen And your house completely emptied out Or they strip you stark naked As soon as you get to any internet You just go to your email And all your documents are there But don't go naked to your local cafe internet And of course you just don't want to scan your documents And put them up on the internet For any mischief maker or hacker to steal Not with all this identity theft going down these days So what I suggest is you download one of those free encryption programs Like PGP By a guy named Zimmerman Go ahead and just Google that In fact his encryption is so good The US Defense Department And dozens of foreign governments use it And like I said it's free And very easy to use
[04:37] So all you do is scan your stuff Encrypt it right away And then download those encrypted files To your own email address But back to my main point Like I said I was talking last week about the countries That are safest and the ones that are most insecure in Latin America And I mentioned that in South America Most places are so safe and secure to live in That in general they have three times better crime statistics Than in the United States And the only places that remain really dangerous in South America now Are Venezuela The countryside of Colombia But not the cities The cities are absolutely safe And certain very large cities like Lima, Peru And of course Brazil Now I did get some emails asking me how I could make a blanket statement About a country as big and diversified as Brazil
[05:25] And why in the world I don't recommend it Of course you know I'm generalizing here And I'm painting in broad brush strokes But Brazil is very dangerous The big cities have their pockets of extreme poverty And the police are absolutely overwhelmed And in the boonies in the countryside Of course you're going to find some nice calm decent places to live But even there the police are ineffectual And you have to put your faith in the locals and the honor system When it comes to crime and punishment Because there is a high tolerance for crime And nearly everyone I've ever talked to Has been a victim of a robbery or assault Or some kind of scam And I don't mean it's a once in a while thing The fact is there's so many gangs of delinquents In every city in Brazil That you're always taking a big risk when you go out at night And there are some great safe parts in every big city too
[06:11] But at night all bets are off And if you've had a few drinks and you're walking down the street And you've got a long way to go till you get home You better have some people with you Because there's safety in numbers And you better have reliable transportation And even taxi drivers who are generally honest good guys Well pretty honest anyway When they pick up an expat, a foreigner, or a tourist Especially at night, after a foreigner has been out partying and had a few drinks Well there's always a chance you won't make it back to your hotel With your wallet, your cell phone, or your iPod But I'll save my personal stories about being robbed multiple times in Brazil For another time, so stay tuned for that So the bottom line about Brazil is Don't believe all that propaganda you've been hearing About how Brazil is emerging as this giant international powerhouse I don't know who the Brazilian PR people are who are pushing this
[06:58] But they're doing a great job because they got everybody up north convinced Everyone who's never been down there that is Like economists and financial analysts for example The fact is Brazil's per capita income is only about $10,000 a year Come on The United States per capita income is about $50,000 a year Which means the average Brazilian makes about a fifth of what the average American does And Brazil has just a little more than half the population of the United States And that's why when you compare a country like China, which is a real powerhouse Even though their per capita income is only $6,000 Well they're a huge force because they have about four times the population of the United States Which pretty much leaves Brazil with only half the US population in the dust And Brazil with its $10,000 per capita income
[07:45] You know that puts it right up there with Costa Rica and Panama and Venezuela and Colombia And no one in their right mind would call those countries powerhouses, that's for sure The only thing Brazil's got going for it is it's huge And it's got a lot of natural resources But guess who's buying all that stuff up? Not the Brazilians, the Chinese So don't believe all that propaganda please But now I want to talk about something I think you'll all be quite interested in Now normally expats down here drive their own cars And tourists who come down often rent a car That's because when they come down to one of these tropical countries They like to do some exploring on their own And generally they don't like to be holed up for too long In a gated all exclusive hotel complex And no matter how beautiful it is If you're stuck in one of those places for more than three or four days
[08:32] You get cabin fever Even though the vast majority of hotel packages are set up that way Anyway, people like to get out and have some control over what they're going to do Instead of being stuck on a tour bus with a bunch of retired grannies Though I have to admit that newbies who do come down here Often book an all inclusive travel package And get stuck on a boring tour of some dilapidated museums At least a couple of days on their vacation Now we've all been through that And then when the tour is over They end up dropping you off at a tourist trinket mall Where prices are double or triple Of what places charge for souvenirs off the beaten path Anyway, for those of you driving your own car or renting I'd like to offer you some tips now On how to avoid or minimize break-ins and theft Which is a big problem
[09:18] Even if you park your car in a protected lot Because what happens many times down here with tourists and expats Is that you'll drive to the beach Or a city Or a nice tourist destination And you're going to end up parking your car for a day Or even a week or two or three in a nearby parking lot Which is supposed to be secure But in actuality, it's not And those parking lots, believe me, can be pretty rustic Especially the ones at beach destinations and national parks In fact, almost all of them are dirt or gravel And don't offer any protection from the sun And though, of course, they are fenced in And some nicely fenced in The parking lot operator and his family Who are almost never the owners Often live in a tin shack with their kids And their dogs and their cats and their chickens Right on the grounds
[10:04] Somewhere in that parking lot area And that's how they can guard the place 24 hours a day Because they live there But I can tell you this If you're a foreigner or an expat or a tourist And you've got your car loaded down with lawn chairs And coolers and other party junk And you tell that parking lot operator You're going to be gone for, let's say, five days And that's not unusual at all If you're going off to a beach resort or an island That doesn't have any access by car So you have to leave your car in a nearby parking lot But in doing that, there is a chance When you come back from your little island vacation That your car will have been broken into Or, in fact, stolen And worse yet, down here, those crimes are so common And the police so disorganized and lacking in knowledge That the authorities almost never solved these kind of crimes
[10:49] And not only that, they're such low priority cases That some people don't even bother to call the police They just call their insurance company That is, if they do have insurance And your parking lot attendant The guy that lives there in a tin shack With his chickens and his kids And has the family underwear Hanging on a clothesline right next to your car Now a guy like that's making minimum wage Maybe two or three hundred dollars a month And so he's living from hand to mouth And always looking for a leg up Well, a guy like that can get a little windfall If he just opens the parking lot door at midnight And looks the other way when someone offers him a deal he can't refuse And tourists who have rent-a-cars Are especially fair game for those kind of scams And rent-a-cars are late model And in big demand by thieves And easy to spot
[11:35] Because they've always got a few rent-a-car company Identifying stickers on them And by the way, the scenario I point out here Whether it's an island or a resort or a tourist attraction Some place where you can't drive your car Is a very common occurrence down here in Latin America And here's a typical example One I've done myself Let's say you've been in Cancun for a while And you've rented a car And you want to drive down the Yucatan Peninsula South through Belize Down to Honduras and go to Roatan Which is a very spectacular vacation island Very laid back and safe and calm Anyway, you cannot drive your car to Roatan Because obviously it's an island So to get there, that is if you don't fly in Well, if you're coming in from Mexico let's say You have to drive your car down through Belize
[12:21] All the way down to a city in Honduras Called La Saba Which is right on the Caribbean coast About an hour's boat ride from Roatan And some of the other islands out there And once you're in La Saba You can park your car in any number of public parking lots And those parking lots are within walking distance Of the pier and the boat ferries That go to the islands of Roatan and Utila So you park your car in one of those lots For however long you're going to stay on one of those vacation islands Whether it's three days or a month And you take the hour ferry ride to one of those islands And when you return, let's say a few weeks later You go back to the parking lot Pay the parking lot attendant and take your car That is if your car is still there And if it is, you might find your radio is gone Or your cell phone or your iPod or even your battery And when you confront that parking lot attendant
[13:07] He's going to shrug his shoulders and point to a sign that says We are not responsible for damages or theft of your car or your property And of course that sign is going to be in Spanish So with that sign, they're completely off the hook If they have to go to court, and believe me, they almost never do And if you're a tourist and you're only down here for a couple of weeks, let's say And somebody does steal your radio, tires, or battery from your rental car Or even the car itself, you're going to have no time to screw around And you're going to have to let the rental car company and their insurance company sort it out And I assure you, though you've got insurance on that rental car Because they make you take it when you sign up You're going to end up losing some money, your deposit at minimum And there's going to be some kind of deductible charged against you On whatever credit card you happen to have used So I'm going to give you some tips now on how to protect that car once it's in a parking lot
[13:56] So you don't have to go through all the hassle, red tape, and paperwork Which, believe me, could be ten times worse if you don't know much Spanish Now the fastest and easiest way to keep your car from being stolen outright Is to go into the car's fuse box and disable the car permanently Which, believe it or not, takes about ten seconds But remember, these days, most cars have two fuse boxes One near your battery under the hood Another down below your steering wheel behind a little panel Or there might be one behind a panel in your glove compartment Now normally in the glove compartment you'll have the car owner's manual And whether it's your car or a rental car, it's probably in there Just flip to the page with the fuse layout And look for the fuse location that says ignition or starter It's usually rated at 20 or 30 amps
[14:41] Now what you do with the car off, of course Is you go into the fuse box and pull that fuse completely out of there And you use a little plastic fuse puller tool That looks like a tiny clothes pin, located in the fuse box too And that's what you use to grip the fuse and pull it out And once you've done that, if someone attempts to steal that vehicle They're gonna get frustrated pretty quickly and move on to another car Anyway, after you pull that fuse, you stick it in your wallet And when you return from your trip, you pop it back in the fuse box and you're good to go And by the way, when you're looking in that fuse box and fishing around in there You don't want to look too obvious in front of the parking lot attendants They surely won't know what you're doing, but you don't want to get them too interested in what's going on So that's why I suggest, right after you pick up your rental car Check out way ahead of time where that fuse box is and which fuse to pull
[15:30] And practice it a few times, pull that fuse and try to start it And prove to yourself that the engine just won't start Oh and by the way, if you think your car's burglar alarm system is a deterrent to the bad guys down here And believe me, even down here, everybody with a late model car has one these days And just like in the States, nobody pays attention to those blaring alarms anymore They don't mean anything and they just annoy And besides, the guys that steal cars, at least down here, always seem to be employees Or former employees of alarm installation companies And believe me, down here, there are hundreds and hundreds of hole-in-the-wall burglar alarm installation companies Which just means there are hundreds of guys in every city that know how to defeat these alarms in two seconds flat So don't get too overconfident when the rental guy shows you how to use the burglar alarm
[16:19] And here's another tip There's nothing more aggravating than losing your car keys or having them locked inside your car Especially when you're in a foreign country, you don't know who to trust and your Spanish sucks Now, whether it's your own car or a rental, you just don't want that to happen, believe me And often, especially when you've locked your keys inside your car And you're outside of it, beating on the windows in a panic A good Samaritan type will turn up, but beware, he might not be the guy you think he is He might be just sizing you up for what you got in your wallet or what you've got inside that car And it always seems like if you lose your keys or lock them in the car, you're never in a very good neighborhood And it always seems to be getting near dark Back in the day, they used to call that Murphy's Law Anyway, to avoid all that hassle, what you have to have is an extra key stash somewhere
[17:06] And a good place would be to have that extra key taped inside your wallet or in your fanny pack But the best place to have it would be in that hidden secret zipper pouch The one you have dangling from your belt hanging down inside the front of your pants The one that holds your passport, your credit cards, your money, and other real important stuff Remember, I explained all about that in one of my past shows And you can go back and listen to that show anytime on the PRN archives Okay, you know how to disable your motor by pulling the fuse And you've got an extra key stashed What else? Well, sometimes when you park your car in a lot and you go to the beach Or you're going to stay overnight in a hotel or hang out at some tourist attraction Like some pyramids or some ruins And often, ruins like that are smack in the middle of a jungle So you might be doing some hiking for hours at a time
[17:52] And believe it or not, when you go on these nature hikes down here Even with a guide and in a national park, there are a lot of assaults and robberies And the thieves know their way around these parks and jungles And know just where the dead ends and blind spots are And for that reason, I don't recommend you carry valuables with you at all Or expensive blackberries and cell phones and iPods Or for that matter, credit cards, jewelry, or much cash And that's my firm recommendation whether you're going hiking Lounging at the beach or playing in the sand or snorkeling Or jet skiing or scuba diving So what do you do with your blackberry and your iPad and all that stuff? Down in Latin America, they just don't have those nice convenient bathhouses Where you can rent a nice secure locker for a buck And even if you could, there'd be no guarantee that it actually would be secure
[18:39] So let me tell you about a place to hide your things in your car Now forget about hiding any of your stuff inside the driving compartment of your car Because thieves know exactly where the best spots for hiding are And the fact is, there are no surefire spots to hide anything in the driver's compartment And if there are, send me an email and tell me, please I'd really like to know myself Well personally, I found out one of the best places to hide things on quick notice in a car Is in fact under the hood inside the air cleaner cover You all know what a car's air cleaner is, don't you? It's a pleated paper accordion type filter That you're supposed to change every 20,000 miles or so And it's inside a round or square box right alongside your motor And sometimes directly on top of it
[19:24] And in the old days, let's say 20 or so years ago They were easy to spot Because there was a big wingnut on top of the cover And the housing itself was round like a cake box And you just loosen that wingnut and spun it off Then you took off the cover and inside was that pleated paper air filter And the filter itself was about the size of a big dinner plate And about 3 or 4 inches thick But nowadays most of those air filters come in a square box With the top held on by 4 little spring clips That you could easily pop loose with your thumbs And you don't need any other equipment, not even a screwdriver So you pop the top off and you pull that air filter out And it's usually the size of a small shoe box Anyway, you take that air filter and throw it in the trunk of your car Because of course you'll need to put it back in later
[20:10] And if your car's trunk is like my trunk All filled up with miscellaneous useless junk It won't look much out of place, believe me Even if a thief happens to pop it open and look in there Anyway, so now what you got is a shoe box sized space to put things in I'm talking cell phones and iPods and blackberries Even wallets and binoculars and glasses and jewelry But of course if you're gonna do that You have to be a little bit stealthy Because you don't want anyone to see what you're doing And I found the best way to do this Is to put all your stuff in a small plastic grocery bag While you're inside your car and no one can see what you're doing Then you carry that bag off to the front of your car Pop the air cleaner off, take it out and shove the bag in there Then of course you snap the air cleaner cover top back on And once again you're good to go
[20:56] And don't forget, after a hard day at the beach When you get back to that car Before you start that engine up Get that stuff out of there and put the filter back in And if you don't do that You're gonna feel pretty stupid, believe me Now I can tell you as a matter of fact That I've done this in a number of Latin American countries With a lot of different kinds of cars And I've never had a single bit of trouble and it's worked every time So that's just another quick and easy security tip For all you expats and expat wannabes out there Now just one more thing about parking your car down here I can tell you from experience That it's very difficult to find a place to park your car in the shade In fact for people who park, shade is at a premium Because in due time, the sun does terrible things to your car down here If you're up north, you got salt eating away at your rocker panels
[21:41] But down here we got intense sunlight Eating away at everything that's plastic Or rubber or cloth or anything that's painted In fact, after a couple of years down here Even a new car's headlights Start turning yellow and dingy And luckily you can buy car products to buff that stuff out And make your car's plastic headlamp covers Look almost new again Though if you have a real expensive car Like a BMW or a Mercedes Those plastic headlamp covers are really made of glass So you're in luck because they'll never discolor However, like I said in a past show I don't recommend you drive a luxury car like that Which means eventually your headlamp covers are going to turn yellow So anyway, like I said The sun is a killer down here And though you people who live in Florida or South Texas Think you know what I'm talking about Well you haven't seen anything yet
[22:26] Until you sat in a car down here in short pants After it's been in the sun for a couple of hours I'll tell you one thing You'll never do that again So besides the extreme heat that you get in your car Your dashboard, after a few years Starts fading and getting little hairline cracks and splits And it's quite ugly actually and not repairable So another cheap solution to that For you expats and tourists who rent cars down here Is to get one of those tiny accordion shaped dashboard protector reflector Which will not only keep your hands from burning up When you touch the steering wheel And believe me that happens all the time But the main reason for using that shiny accordion reflector It'll stop your dashboard itself from deteriorating And fading into oblivion And for cars more than 5 years old
[23:11] That's pretty much the norm down here But unfortunately Hardly anyone except expats and foreigners Use those accordion dashboard protectors Since the latins themselves Don't think much at all about maintenance or prevention Now here's another thing you haven't given much thought to But it's going to surprise you Up in the first world The window glass in your car Can be dark or tinted But the tinting is strictly regulated by law In other words Each state determines the amount of tint you can have in your window Which is measured by the percentage of light That the tinting film allows through Though up in the US The laws are a little different from state to state On the front window You can't have any tinting at all And on the sides and back windows If you have tinting The tinting film has to let in at least 35% of the natural light
[23:58] And when they enacted those laws a long time ago It was because police and law enforcement Wanted to see just what was happening inside of a car At any given time Like for example Are the passengers in the car next to you Carrying shotguns or uzis You see what I mean Anyway, as far as tinted windows It's completely different down here in Latin America As far as I know There are no laws whatsoever And even if there were they wouldn't be enforced So in fact down here Anything goes The fact is there's a huge aftermarket for tinted windows And more than half the cars down here Have their windows tinted so dark That only about 5% of the natural light gets through And that means if you're standing on the outside Looking at a car like that You can't really tell anything About what's happening inside that car Including how many passengers
[24:43] Or if they're male or female So forget about wondering Whether someone inside has a gun or not It's just impossible to tell And down here They don't call them tinted windows They call them polarized windows Vidrio's polarizados Which really doesn't make much sense Because polarized doesn't mean tinted So anyway for about 50 bucks You can have your windows pitch black And everyone with a new car Especially those with high end expensive new cars Like Mercedes and Porsches and BMWs They all have very heavily tinted windows Because those kinds of cars Are the main targets for theft And a common way of thinking down here Is that if you have heavily tinted windows Since the bad guys can't see in The passengers might be armed And therefore tinted windows are a deterrent to crime
[25:30] But in reality that goes against all common sense Because since everybody who's got a nice car Has heavily tinted windows Including all the bad guys Well everybody's right back in the same boat again It's the same as if no one had tinted windows But because like I said Everybody does have tinted windows down here When somebody buys a car He feels that he has to have tinted windows And that's the first thing that he does And if you don't You're the only oddball driving around Where everyone can see inside Now I have to admit When I first came down here to Latin America All these cars with heavily tinted windows It really did look strange But now I can appreciate that for women drivers at least It does afford more than a bit of protection Because there's no one a thief would rather prey on Than a woman alone driving a late model car I take that back
[26:16] A little worse than that would be a woman alone Driving her late model car Talking on her blackberry Flashing her jewelry And touching up her makeup at the same time Does that remind you of anybody? Hmm Anyway, just one more thing about driving a car down here Whether you own it or rent it You really have to buy and keep in your trunk One of those liquid tire inflators You know, it comes in a can Because Latin America is not a place where you want to get a flat tire Dig through the trunk and pull out the car jack and the wrenches Screw around with the hubcaps and try to get that tire off Only to find that you can't figure out How they get the damn spare down From that recessed compartment near the gas tank Because some of the cars these days have a funny screw system That you have to turn and turn and turn Maybe a hundred times
[27:01] Till that spare finally drops down And with all the crime and delinquents down here You don't want to be stuck on the road for twenty minutes doing that Believe me And it takes about two minutes to use that liquid inflator in a can And when you buy a can like that At any grocery store And it's only about five bucks Do read the directions well ahead of time Because you don't want to be fumbling around in the dark Trying to figure out how to use that thing If you get a flat tire at night And guys Teach your wives Girlfriends And daughters How to use one of those flat fixers It could be a lifesaver You've been listening to The Expat Files Living in Latin America And don't forget you can email me On anything at all about Latin America The Expat Files At gmail.com
[27:47] That's theexpatfiles At gmail.com See you next time Nos vemos Of the border