#62 – The Expat Files: Critiquing Donations, Accessibility, and Living in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:12] Hi everybody, I'm Johnny Mueller, and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America, the one of a kind show that tells you what it's like to live, work, play, and or retire in Latin America. So let's get started. I'm looking in the paper and I see that first world idiots that donate things to third world countries are in the news again today. I see that the government of Taiwan has donated 13 completely equipped ambulances worth over $180,000 a piece, which is like $2 million worth, and they're giving them away to some small cities in Guatemala, where it's said that the local fire and rescue departments have a shortage of this kind of equipment. No kidding.

[00:58] Well, somebody from Taiwan should have looked into this ahead of time, but they didn't. They just donate this stuff and feel good for a New York minute and get back to their first world work, making LG plasma screen TVs in Huyundes. And you know, it's a vast understatement when they say in the paper that these little towns have a shortage of this kind of advanced equipment. Oh really? Well, not only do those little towns in the boonies have a shortage of this kind of technical equipment, they have a shortage of tools, brainpower, and technical know-how to even maintain these things. So what you got here is a $2 million recipe for disaster. And you know, it's not the Guatemalan's fault or the Latin people in general. It's the first world donor's fault that these things usually never work out like they expected. So in this case, I promise you that within a year to a year and a half, more than half

[01:46] of those ambulances are going to be sitting in a junkyard or in the back of one of those little fire departments, stripped of tires, batteries, generators, alternators, radios, and you name it. And what usually happens is the first world donor delivers those units with all the best of intentions. They have a photo op ceremony with the ambassador and the president or the governor of the department. And they shake hands for the cameras and they cut a ribbon and they make a toast. And they smile and somebody makes a nice speech talking about the strong and unbreakable alliance and friendship between the two countries. And the Latin contingent gushes and kisses just enough first world butt to make sure that they're first in line when they dish out the next round of those free gifts. And in fact, nobody's really been trained to use one of these high-tech pieces of equipment.

[02:31] And that's always the catch-22. No oversight or follow-up from the first world donor. And the truth of the matter is that down in Latin America, most of these fire departments are volunteer. And the vast majority of these volunteer guys are from the middle and lower classes, which means most of them not only don't own a car, but they never had a license or learned how to drive. And these are the guys in charge of that high-tech piece of mobile equipment. Now you hand over something like that to a guy with a sixth grade education who never owned or learned how to drive a vehicle of his own. Well all I gotta say is good luck. That's like giving a 16 year old kid the keys to your Ferrari. It seems that first world countries just love to donate high-tech first world vehicles, machines and hardware. It gives him that on-powering feel-good sensation of donating something like that to a poor

[03:19] backward third world country. Not knowing of course that the more freebie high-tech stuff that they give away, the more difficult it is to maintain and the faster it ends up in the junkyard. Now here's another case, this time in a Managua Nicaragua newspaper. It says here that South Korea donated 130 brand new computers that were installed in two different rural schools on the outskirts of Managua Nicaragua. Now that happened about three months ago during the dry season. And of course there was the usual photo op and ribbon cutting ceremony with the ambassador and the vice president shaking hands with the principals of the schools, all smiling and happy and nice. But then early in May came the rainy season and it says here on the 22nd of May, an electrical storm blew out a power transformer up on a telephone pole a block away from one of the

[04:06] schools and they haven't had electricity now in that school for three weeks. And that means of course no computer action. Now the municipality says they don't have the money to fix that transformer and the repair bill is about $2,300. And the ministry of education doesn't have the money to fix the transformer either, so they're asking the parents of all 1,700 students at that school to chip in $2 each and that way they'll be able to buy a new transformer. And they figure it'll take another month or maybe more to collect all that money and put that project together. Now I know that would be highly unusual if it happened up in the first world. I mean asking the parents to chip in for something that should be handled by the municipality or the public utility company. But it's pretty typical down here in the third world. Now listen to this, because this is the real kicker.

[04:53] One of the repair guys from the electric company says the real reason that transformer blew was not from an electrical storm, but because it was way undersized for the amount of current being used by those brand new donated computers in that computer lab. Now you think someone would have figured that out ahead of time, don't you? Like somebody maybe from South Korea who actually donated that equipment? Well I guess not. And those kind of screw ups happen all the time. Now the other rural school that got the other half of those computers, back in the dry season of course a couple months ago, is also having their problems as I can see from the photo in the newspaper. I'm looking at a photo right now of a computer lab with about 50 or so brand new computers all nicely arranged and waiting for kids to sit down and use them, but they can't because

[05:38] there's about 4 inches of water completely covering the floor. And it's obvious from the photo that some of these brand new computers are water stained and damaged too. And it turns out last week this school that has 1400 students suspended all their classes because the roofs are leaking so badly that the kids can no longer play musical chairs by running from room to room looking for a dry spot to stand or sit or huddle in. Now I ask you once again, shouldn't somebody have figured out ahead of time that the roof was going to leak like a sieve during the coming rainy season? Don't you think the people that donated and installed those computers should have thought of that? I mean you gotta wonder who's in charge of the details. And I mention this as just one of those thousands of well intentioned cases where some first world do-gooders promise to donate something.

[06:25] They come down to the third world, drop it off, have their photo up, and then they're gone the next day. And let's not even talk about maintenance here because it's a sure bet that at least half of those computers are ruined and they're only a couple of months old. And it's more the rule than the exception that things that are donated from the first world have a very short lifespan once they're turned over to the people down here. But that's the dirty little secret that no one wants to talk about. But you see, first world governments and non-profit organizations and church groups only seem to care about delivering the goods down to the third world and capturing the essence of that feel-good moment when you donate something that you think is going to make some kind of a difference. And I know the old cliche that says it's better to give than receive. But here's a lesson for all you first world do-gooders up there.

[07:11] If you want to donate something to the people down here, you gotta do your homework and you gotta stick around a little while to make sure everything's working right and your effort is paid off. Because you see, every project and donation of technical equipment or cars or trucks or whatever needs some oversight after the fact and some investigation beforehand. Now come on, if you want to donate something to the people down here and you really want to make a difference in these people's lives, forget about donating things like police cars and radar detectors and breathalyzers and ambulances. Most of that stuff barely lasts a year before it's destroyed or scavenged. Your best bet is to donate your own time and to come down here with something useful like a construction crew and some tools and help these guys with the basics. They need help with basic plumbing and electricity and roof repair and water and sewage treatment

[08:00] and drainage. These people need help with the basics before you go donating anything that plugs into the wall like a computer. Well, I guess I beat that dead horse enough, so let's move on to something different. Now I've got an interesting email from someone asking me about the prevalence of autism down here in Latin America. Now I know it's a hot topic up north and Gary Nall talks about it all the time on his shows, so most of you guys should be pretty well up on it. So down here I checked with a few doctor friends of mine and they basically said it's totally under the radar. Now according to them, most every general practitioner and pediatric doctor down here does have some autistic cases, but not many, only a handful in each guy's medical practice. Nothing at all like the reporting up in the first world. And surprisingly, all the doctors I've talked to said nearly all of their autistic cases

[08:49] come from families in the upper and high level income brackets. And in fact, nearly every big city down here has its own fledgling autistic organization for parents of autistic kids. So there is some growing awareness, even though 5 or 10 years ago there wasn't a single organization in Latin America like that. And again, if you go to one of those meetings, it's like going to a meeting of the wives of the country club crowd. Common folks need not apply, at least it seems that way. Anyway, when I asked these doctors about the prevalence of autism down here, none of them could give me a straight answer because no one's got any statistics. There's a low priority on it, the government doesn't care, so there's no funding, except out of the pockets of the parents of kids with autism. Although down here, it appears to be an affliction of the kids of the upper classes.

[09:36] And nobody really seems to know, or care for that matter, just what percentage of kids in the lower classes might be autistic. Because the lower classes would never think to bring their kids to the doctor for a behavioral or an attention deficit problem. For the low and very low income classes, which make up about 80% of Latin America, doctors and hospitals for them are for real physical life threatening issues, and autism would never fall into that category. In fact, according to one doctor I know, the average guy on the street down here has never even heard of the word autism. And when you run into someone who does know the word, they have no idea really what it is. Not that most people in the first world know what it is, but everyone up north has at least heard about it. And down here you know, the doctors have so little experience with it because they have so few cases, that one doctor admitted to me that if you have an autistic kid, Latin

[10:26] America is not the place to be. In fact, if you've got any kind of mental or physical handicap, no matter what age or sex you are, Latin America is not a very good choice for you either. That is, unless you have a nice steady flow of income, like a monthly first world pension or disability check, or if you were simply born rich. Now you must have heard of the ADA, not the American Dental Association, but the Americans with Disabilities Act. It's a US law that specifies that there has to be at least one ramp on at least one corner on every intersection. And it specifies all the details about the handicapped access in buildings, as well as handicapped access in bathrooms, in handrails, and handicapped spaces and parking lots, along with dozens of other specifications and workplace laws that make it easier for the handicapped

[11:13] and disabled to make their way through the world. The first world, that is. Well down here in Latin America, there's no such thing as a disabilities act. It's a big laugh if you think the government's going to help out disabled persons down here. They can't even make the streets and the buildings and the workplace safe for the regular people. The government can't even build a simple asphalt road that'll last more than two years before completely cracking apart. So helping out people with common disabilities has about as much priority as a Mexican Mars Exploration Program. And I do want to talk about this because I have gotten some emails from disabled people up north, people who are seriously thinking about becoming expats, because living down here is so much cheaper than it is up north. And since things are getting more expensive by the minute up there, and pensions and disability

[12:00] payments remain level, or actually eroding, people with disabilities are losing financial ground and it's only going to get worse. So naturally, they look to Latin America as a good cheap option for the future, especially in light of what I've been telling you all along about the very low cost of living down here compared to the first world. Well first of all, I have to preface all this by saying it depends what kind of disability you have. For example, if you're a paraplegic in a wheelchair, getting around is going to be terribly difficult unless you have someone helping you every time you go out. But because wages are so cheap down here, you could have a full-time registered nurse come in every day for three or four hundred dollars a month. Or you could have the equivalent of a nurse's aide actually living in your place like a full-time live-in housemaid for two to three hundred dollars a month.

[12:46] And unlike the first world, having a private space in your house for her to live is rarely a problem. Because like I said before in a previous show, nearly all the middle and upper middle class apartments and houses are equipped with a small maid's quarters called a quarto de cervicio with its own bathroom, bedroom, and outside entrance. So if you have a disability and you want or need 24-hour care, that room is where your nurse or nurse's aide is going to live. And by the way, since most expats don't want a live-in maid, though at two or three hundred dollars a month, nearly every expat can afford one. Anyway, because of that, the room nearly always remains empty and usually ends up being used as your workroom or storage space for tools and saws and brooms and extra parts since down here in Latin America, they don't have basements.

[13:32] So anyway, if you're disabled, having a live-in nurse's aide will make life a breeze as opposed to having a nurse come by a few hours a day, which is a common arrangement up in the first world because the average guy could never afford 24-hour care. But down here, it's well within any first-worlders budget. Which means, of course, you'll never have to go out of your house in your wheelchair alone. In fact, you won't have to go out and do errands at all unless you want to. She'll go out and do your shopping and pay your bills and do your cooking and go down to the hardware store. She'll be your very own nurse's aide and girl Friday. And you know, up in the first world, if you had to pay someone to do all that, it would cost you 20 or 30 thousand dollars a year. And that's only if she came in to do a regular eight-hour shift. And if you had a 24-hour live-in nurse's aide slash girl Friday slash housekeeper, up in

[14:19] the States, that could cost you 40 or 50 thousand dollars a year. What with room and board, social security, FICA, and with whatever other perks that might come with the job, like health care benefits or whatever. And for most disabled people up north, that's completely out of the question. Now I know that if you came down here as a disabled expat, what I'm telling you right now sounds like a very good deal. Especially the way the dollar's been taken in a beating worldwide. Because whether you know it or not, in the last five years, inflation has eaten away 50% of the US dollar's value. And living down here sounds even better when you realize you can get a really nice first world style condo or apartment in a guarded, secure, gated community for anywhere from 300 to 500 dollars a month. That is of course if you're not living in a high-volume tourist area, and in that case

[15:06] you can expect to pay double that. And even if you do decide to live in a tourist area, because you like to mix with expats and other people coming down from the states, the housing and rent prices are always much cheaper than what you could get in the United States for the same thing. And as far as your other costs, like utilities, remember, down here, people who can afford air conditioning, like expats and the upper middle classes, they normally only have air conditioning in their bedrooms for comfortable sleeping at night. So if you don't have whole house air conditioning, your electric bill will be quite low. Usually less than half of what it is in the states. And that's true even though the price per kilowatt hour could be double or triple what you pay in the states. Because remember, you're only air conditioning one room. And as far as your heating bill, well, most people don't have one at all, because most

[15:52] people don't have central or even space heaters. But that's your choice of course. And then there's your food bill, which is going to be half of what you pay up in the first world, as long as you don't buy too much imported stuff and stick to local items and open market shopping. So in general, I estimate that your day to day expenses will be about half of what you pay up in the first world. That is, if you follow most of my recommendations. But if you want to live just like a first world gringo, then it's definitely going to cost you more, because you'll be buying things on the internet, having them shipped down, paying for all those extra premium satellite TV stations, because you want to watch the old hometown team like the Knicks or the Yankees. Well to each his own, but I'm just offering some advice here. So anyone, disabled or not, can live on less than half of what it takes to live pretty

[16:38] much in the same way up in the first world. So if you're living off a disability check or pension, you're going to have a lot of extra spending money every month. And you can use that extra money to get that live in Nurses Aid or Registered Nurse, which a disabled expat living down here told me is like a gift from heaven. Because without any of these countries having a Disabilities Act in force, you can roll your wheelchair for blocks and blocks down a public sidewalk and never find yourself a ramp. And that goes for any public building too that's over 5 or 10 years old. And though most of the brand new public buildings have handicapped access, most of the time a person in a wheelchair could never make it up the stairs of 95% of these buildings. And I guarantee you that if you're in a public building, chances are one or more of the elevators, or even all of them, will be out of order. So if you are in a wheelchair and you do go roaming outside your own house, I always suggest

[17:28] that you bring your nurses aid or your nurse. And there's three reasons for that. First of course, is that she'll speak perfect Spanish and you probably won't. So wherever you're going and whatever you're going to do when you get there, you're going to need her help with the translations, well at least at first. And secondly, the roads, the walkways and the sidewalks are in such terrible condition and in such miserable disrepair. You're going to need that extra person to help guide you around all those potholes and cracks. Not to mention on practically every stretch of sidewalk, someone has broken or stolen the utility access covers for plumbing shut off valves, electrical boxes and cable connections. So if you're in a wheelchair and don't keep an eye out, you'll never make it through an obstacle course like that without a big problem. And don't forget all the piles of litter, the occasional dog crap and the pools of urine.

[18:14] And those are the kind of conditions you'll encounter in Latin America unless you're tooling through a wealthier section of the city. And the downtowns in the smaller cities and towns aren't much better. And like I said, if you have to cross the street, you'll be hard pressed to find a ramp. And I have to mention here that a huge percentage of Latin American towns were built with cobblestone roads and sidewalks dating way back from the Spanish colonial days. Quaint but not convenient. Not for a cane, a walker or a wheelchair. So that's another hazard you almost never find up in the US. Not to mention Latin America has some of the craziest drivers that you've ever seen. No one respects the crosswalk or the crosswalk signs or in fact any traffic signs at all. And as long as there's not a cop around, people routinely run red lights down here. And they routinely drive the wrong way down a one-way street.

[19:01] And that's especially true for motorcycles, who sometimes when there's a lot of traffic actually drive right up on the sidewalk to get ahead. And that, my friend, is where your wheelchair is going to be. So the bottom line is you need your nurse's extra pair of hands if you're going to go outside your house and do some business. Which brings me to the third reason why you need a nurse or a nurse's aid when you go outside. And that's because of the lawlessness down here. Now like I said in a past show, the number one victims of crime are women and older folks. Because criminals know there are easy marks and less likely to fight back and much less likely to have a gun. But handicapped people, even blind ones, and ones in wheelchairs are even easier marks for crooks and thieves. So it's not recommended at all to take your wheelchair out and go it alone. And you know there's safety in numbers. So if you have your nurse or nurse's aid pushing your wheelchair or walking alongside you,

[19:50] you almost never have any trouble. And that's according to a handicapped friend of mine who isn't a wheelchair and who fearlessly makes the rounds with his wheelchair and nurse in any part of town he wants, or so he claims. Though he also carries a small semi-automatic pistol. But then again, he's a nom-vet. Now there are places in Latin America that, believe it or not, comply completely with the Americans with Disabilities Act. And those places you won't be surprised to hear are those franchise stores and businesses that came down from the first world. Like Sears and Walmart and McDonald's and Wendy's. And it's nice to know that all those first world franchise imports, including almost all of the new shopping malls down here, are completely handicapped accessible. And since all the new malls are basically copies of successful first world malls and

[20:37] loaded with first world franchises, they're all built to first world standards too. Now I know some of you up in the first world have a special van for your wheelchair. One with a hydraulic lift and some other special accessories. Now if you're going to come down here as an expat and bring that van with you, you'll be glad to know that the mechanics and repair guys down here can fix just about anything, believe me. And if you do need some kind of adjustment or repair, you'll pay about a quarter what you pay in the US. And if any special parts or accessories are needed, just get on the internet, look it up and have it shipped. So you never have to worry about that. And of course, like I said in past shows, they have all kinds of first world private hospitals down here and every specialist you can think of. Which means you could get any kind of treatment or therapy down here that you were getting up in the first world. And again, probably at about a quarter to half the price you were used to paying up

[21:25] there. And of course, all the meds that you might need are available up here too. And some of them, especially if they're generics, can be as low as 20% of the cost that you pay up in the states. Which brings me to another negative that you have to be prepared for. You have to consider that the power does go off here occasionally, anywhere from minutes to hours to up to a few days. Which means, for example, if you're a diabetic and have to keep your insulin refrigerated, you'll be in trouble, right? And that goes for any medicine you might be taking that has to be in the refrigerator. Well power outages to me aren't such a big concern and they shouldn't be for you, even if you are a diabetic. Just take a look back in my archives and you'll see that I did a program on generators and what to do in case of power outages. And I have to mention that if you do have a more serious medical condition, let's say

[22:11] for example, you need dialysis a few times a week. Well down here, all the big private hospitals have dialysis units. So just remember, although it's the third world, there are high quality first world services available in every big city. You just have to know where to look for them. And like I said before, the American Embassy always has a nice big list available of doctors, specialists, hospitals, services, and whatever expats might need. And note that in this segment I've been talking a lot about nurses and registered nurses down here. Well because this is such a macho culture, you'll find that 99% of all the nurses and nurses aides are female. Just to set the record straight on that. Because you see, nursing is not considered a manly field. So in that respect, it's about 20 to 30 years behind the first world. And a bit like the hairstylist profession down here too, where if you do see men working

[23:00] in the field, they're almost always gay. And speaking of gay society down here, which is pretty well deep in the closet still, and that's because this is a strictly macho society. Anyway, I'll talk about gay and lesbian culture in a future show, so stay tuned. And by the way, the easiest way to find a registered nurse or a nurse's aide is to go down to one of the hospitals or universities where they have a nursing school, and post a want ad on the nursing station bulletin board, or put an ad on the medical school or university bulletin board. Or, you can go to any hospital and visit the nursing station, and you'll always find a few nurses who speak English. Anyway, just tell them that you're looking for a nurse or a nurse's aide, and you're on your way. And of course, you can always advertise for a nurse or a nurse's aide in the classified section of your local newspaper.

[23:46] And there's always a person at the classified ads department desk who speaks English, and will translate that ad into Spanish for you. And if you like, you could put into the ad that you need someone who speaks a little English. If your Spanish sucks, that is. And remember this, if you put in your ad on the bulletin board or in the classified ads, that you're a foreigner from the United States or Europe, I promise you'll get double the amount of responses that you'd normally get. Because the fact is, Latins are enamored with everything and anything first world, including the people. And most every one of them would love to work for a first world gringo or a European, because they see a lot of advantages in that, not the least of which is that they'll surely learn better English, and that first world people are known for keeping their word, that is, a deal is a deal, and this is a big thing.

[24:32] First worlders are not known for abusing their female employees, sexually, verbally, or otherwise. They say we're generally good natured, and they know we pay on time. At least, that's how Latin stereotype first world people. Now one thing you have to remember, if you have a live in person, or if you have a person helping you out in your house eight hours a day, eventually of course they're going to know every little thing about you, including all your habits and where you keep your money and your jewelry and your valuables, and your booze and your porno, just kidding, or not. Anyway, right now you must be wondering just how far you can trust someone living in such close quarters with you, especially since in some of the past shows I mentioned one of the things you really have to watch out for is the cleaning lady and gardener, because they often end up stealing from you. And I mentioned before, that even for example, if your cleaning lady is absolutely honorable,

[25:22] there bound to be at least one bad boy in her family, a brother, an uncle, a cousin, and when one of her delinquent relatives finds out she's working for a gringo, and of course the stereotype is all gringos are rich. Anyway, one of those bad boys just might be pumping her for information, and you'll never know it till the day you get robbed. So what about a nurse or a live in nurse's aid, who for sure is going to find out things about you that even your cleaning lady will never know. And that's why it's best to make your first contact through a teaching hospital or the nursing program at a university. Then you could get a personal reference from the nurse in charge, and if she's at a nursing school, from at least one of her teachers. And that's why before you contract anyone, including a cleaning lady or a gardener, you have to get a copy of her national ID, passport, or a thing called a sedula. And in most countries, a sedula is a document that you get when you turn 18, and you use

[26:12] it to register to vote. Though most Latin countries are little by little switching over to the national ID card, which is about as big as a driver's license, and has a biochip embedded in it. Shades of big brother, just like in the first world. Anyway, when you hire a nurse, you get a copy of all those documents, and a reference from the hospital or school that you went to. And another thing, in general, the doctors down here have told me that the nursing profession, like in the first world, is more or less a calling, and not necessarily a job just to make money. And the vast majority of Latin girls that go into this career are really quite good-hearted and are in it to help people, so your chances of hiring a bad apple are pretty remote. To them, it's a serious profession and not a common job, like being a cleaning lady, a shoe salesman, or a bank teller.

[26:57] So if you do take just a few precautions, you shouldn't have any problems. So it wasn't unusual when I discovered that a lot of disabled expats bond with their home care nurses so well that they sometimes end up marrying them, or they end up in the expat's will. And by the way, doctors are a good resource to ask when looking for one of these nurses. They always know some very good and trustworthy ones that are looking for that kind of work. And another thing, if you find a good candidate, you might mention her to your doctor and ask him to make a few calls. And because you're a first world foreigner, your checks don't bounce and you pay your bills on time, he'll be glad to do it. You've been listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America. And don't forget, you can email me on anything at all about Latin America.

[27:44] The Expat Files at gmail.com. That's the expat files at gmail.com. See you next time. Nos vemos. South of the border, south of the border, south of the border.