#639 – The Expat Files: Religion, Heritage, and Taxes in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started You know, there's something I just don't get about Latin America. I mean, it's so Christian 98% Christian nothing wrong with that But there's a big conundrum here. We'll get to that in a second Anyway, the Easter season is coming up and they're already getting prepared for it building the floats planning the menus

[00:47] That means everywhere you go in the big city. You're starting to hear out of tune bands with seemingly drunken horn players Yep, they're all just a little bit out of tune, which means they're either slightly drunk or just plain suck You know up north they talk about separation of church and state, right? Well down here the church and state are gladly interconnected. You see it all the time I mean, you know, you got chicken buses and taxis named after Saints and religious icons Every other street neighborhood named after biblical characters, too And when the Pope's coming into town, they telegraph that news for months in advance and they shut down for a couple of weeks So everyone can line the parade route and party not to mention you can hardly get in a conversation with any Latin Without a mention or even more than a mention of God or Dios even a sign of the cross

[01:37] And of course when you go into most any middle-class or lower middle-class Latin's home They'll have a room or a shrine or altar or table set up with a few religious statues and icons with candles burning and Bibles and rosaries that's par for the course you see that everywhere and when it comes to the upper middle-class even the wealthy They generally won't have a room or a shrine like that But oftentimes they'll have beautiful tile mosaics around the house inside and out portraying religious icons or famous biblical scenes And here's something you might find hard to believe I did at first some years back I was with a gringo who was taking delivery on a new car from a Nissan dealership in San Pedro Sula, Honduras That's the second biggest city in the country by the way, and it's very hot and for a lot of reasons

[02:23] I don't really recommend it for your expat plan B Oh, and by the way when you buy a brand new car down here, not that I recommend it Generally, I don't but if you do the day you walk in to pick it up at the dealership You'll see your car there with a humongous ribbon and bow on it wrapped around the hood Like a huge birthday present now that might happen up in the first row. I don't know I bought a few new cars up in Chicago way back when but none of them ever came gift wrapped nor had I ever seen that Happen with anyone else though I've seen in a few Hollywood movies when someone gets a new car off and it'll be at the front door with a big Ball on it. However, in that case, it's never a Nissan. It's usually a Porsche or a Ferrari but in real life Well, I've only seen it down here in Latin America In fact, if you walk into any new car dealership, you just might see a gift wrapped car fact is the other day

[03:10] I was in a Kia dealership and there were three cars wrapped up like that ready to go Alright, so that's kind of cool in a way But how about this as I mentioned some years ago? I was in San Pedro Sula at a Nissan dealership where a gringle friend was picking up a brand new car And we couldn't help but notice as we were walking through the lot where all the new cars were lined up There was a Catholic priest with one of those holy water batons you Catholics know what I'm talking about there Anointing and blessing all the new cars in the lot How do you like that and when we were sitting down with the salesman my friend said that's a priest, right? And he's blessing the cars. What's up with that? Then get this salesman said don't worry yours got blessed Well, as you might imagine that took a load off my friend's mind

[03:59] Naturally, I wanted to know more about this peculiar custom I found out all Catholic priests will do that you just give him a call They'll come on out for a small donation, of course, and if you think I'm pulling your leg in 1925 Pope Pius the 11th declared Santa Francisco Romana Patron saint of cars and drivers so for Catholics anyway, there is a definite religious connection now The car dealer said Catholic priests will come out and bless motorcycles trucks airplanes helicopters and yes Chicken buses, so does it help not much and I also found out that the prevailing wisdom is once you've had your car blessed When it's new that so-called divine protection only lasts through the original owner kind of like a factory warranty

[04:46] Which is why some people get their used cars blessed, too Anyway down here in Latin America seems the Catholics have a lock on the blessing of inanimate objects kind of stuff Somehow I don't think you can dial up a shaman and get him to come and do his thing over your new Honda though I could be wrong about that. Hmm. That's a thought might be a cool YouTube video, huh? So anyway by now you must be getting the idea that the Christians have deep roots here in Latin America Very deep especially the Catholics in fact I distinctly remember when I first came to Latin America over 25 years ago now Everything but everything was closed on Sunday except a few gas stations pharmacies And what then was a new kid business on the block called super venti cuatro They started out as a 24-hour version of a u.s. Style 7-eleven now

[05:35] You'd think the number 24 in their name would mean they're open 24 hours a day, right? That would be the venti cuatro part That's what it's supposed to mean, but it doesn't work that way though. I guess some must stay open 24 7 Just don't count on it. So anyway, Latin America is just saturated with Christianity and of course hypocrisy reigns supreme seems like every week you're reading one of the local newspapers that someone or somebody or some group has Stolen a religious icon from a cemetery or a church or a cathedral Why because obviously these things are worth dough a lot of them go back to the Spanish conquest and colonial time in fact I'm looking at a big circulation Latin paper right now And it says this Wednesday Ash Wednesday One of Nicaragua's largest towns will as usual celebrate the big festival of the Virgin without the Virgin

[06:29] Because it says in the first paragraph and I'll translate here Unfortunately last September the statue was stolen from the temple San Pedro a pastel in an interview The Monsignor of the Paris said it's a shame more than four months have gone by Since the icon went missing and authorities still have no clue as to the whereabouts of our sacred Virgin sadly He said the statue will not be in this year's festival as it has been for the past 160 years So yes There are thousands of Spanish colonial icons missing some of them very large and heavy and you wonder where they're going Where did they hide them and how do the thieves keep quiet about it? Look? They're probably some of the most easily recognizable things you could think of so you have to wonder

[07:16] There's got to be a lot of people involved in Including immigration and customs at the border a lot of payoffs for sure ending up in the vaults and basements of first world Collectors somewhere, you know, there's an underground gray and black market antique business worldwide Especially with stolen artwork and famous paintings, but still I don't get it How can it be in Latin America where Christianity's roots are so deep yet? These sacred religious icons continuously get stolen wouldn't that be a way to get you on a fast track to an everlasting hot foot? I repeat I don't get it However, I do sort of get why there's a huge gray and black market trade in stolen Pre-columbian statues glyphs and artifacts. The fact is if ink and mayan or Aztec articles go missing

[08:03] There's a lot less mental anguish and guilt involved though. It's still a sin It doesn't carry near the gravitas or weight or guilt experienced when they've stolen something from a church now the authorities are sure that the thieves are almost always Catholic because they know the value and the history and the traditions that go Along with those artifacts and I get the idea that when these thieves go to confession and they do with their Catholic They'd never spill the beans to the priest that they'd stolen a religious icon I imagine the priest would blow his stack maybe even haul him out of the confessional and pop him in the kisser or maybe Drag him to the Central Park and let the pissed off Pueblo deal with him Which is why I'm pretty sure that kind of a sin never gets confessed now I'm just speculating here But the townspeople have no sense of humor when it comes to stealing their religious artifacts

[08:52] Which is why especially in towns out in the boonies if someone gets caught stealing something religious They haul them into the Central Park and whip them or stone them none of that New Testament turn the other cheek crap They're the Old Testament eye for an eye type Alright speaking of Mayan Incan Toltec and Aztec pre-columbian artifacts on occasion A treasure trove is hit during the excavation of a construction project in fact a few years ago I mentioned on the show that quite a few times when I've been invited over to a Latin person's house for a party dinner They'll have a shelf for a stand with a few old photos and knickknacks on it along with that stuff You might find a couple of plates or utensils or pieces of pottery Definitely pre-columbian stuff more than likely recovered when they were digging the foundation for that very house now

[09:39] Of course all nations have rules about what you're supposed to do if you find historic artifacts related to the country's patrimony You're supposed to turn that stuff over to your country's historical society But almost no one ever does unless a local person hits something huge like a pyramid Which reminds me of a couple of incidents that happened just lately in Belize turns out a corrupt police congressman Are there any other kind was having his vacation home foundation? Excavated and they hit a pyramid and since his ego was bigger than the pyramid his Contractors kept working until someone reported it to the National Archaeological Society Oh, and you might recall in Belize there was another incident in 2013 a Construction company was building a road and they ran into a pyramid

[10:26] They decided to use the pyramid for landfill around the base of the road The pyramid called the Nomul complex is at least 2,300 years old what's worse is that it was not an error or a mistake You see that pyramid was over a hundred feet tall the largest pyramid in Belize left over from The Mayans in an article from Smithsonian magazine, you know, very prestigious a guy named Jamie Oh, he's the head of the Belize Institute of archaeology He said the structure was very clearly a pyramid an ancient one So there's no chance the construction team did not realize what they were doing He said quote these guys knew it was ancient. It was just bloody

[11:12] Laziness on their part and it turns out he says this is an ongoing problem in Belize our country's littered with ruins He said though none as large as Nomal pyramid and construction companies are constantly Bullstosing them for a road fill. He says several other sites have already been destroyed by construction Just to use the rocks for building infrastructure There isn't much in the way of protection or management of these sites in Belize he says so many people who live in the country either aren't aware of the significance of their past or Aren't educated enough to even know to preserve their own heritage Okay, then on a lighter note one archaeologist said of the boo-boo At least now we can see the inner workings of a pyramid and the ways they were built by the Mayans

[12:02] Hmm. Believe me. That's happening all over Latin America. Not just in Belize In fact, if you're ever visiting Guatemala City and you've got a day or two You have to stop at this mall called Miraflores. It's got a huge Hilton Hotel there Now when they were breaking ground for this thing about 25 or 30 years ago, they hit an entire gigantic Mayan city Pyramids and all but did that stop construction of this giant mall? Well for a little while enough to take pictures remove artifacts and bring in an archaeological team In fact, this will blow your mind It's unlike any shopping mall in the world because when you're walking past the usual Latin and first world franchises guests Tony Roma's Applebee's sizzler

[12:48] There's a nice but not obtrusive glass door with a little sign over it that says Museum you walk in you pay about three bucks. You walk about 30 steps down a hall You're inside of a pyramid walking on a big piece of plate glass where the skeleton Jewelry and artifacts of a Mayan king are laid out right below you in the very same place He was buried a couple of thousand years ago Thankfully that tiny speck of that big Mayan city the mall builders did preserve So what you've got right in the center of that big mall and you can't see it unless you walk through that door is The entrance into an excavated pyramid that leads you into another world Yep, you've got to see it to believe it and the funny thing, you know, is that almost no one knows about it

[13:35] Now I've been to that museum a couple of times and I've never seen more than 10 people in there In fact, there's always more people in the Applebee's not 60 feet away However, I always recommend my expat insider seminar people take a run over there If they got some free time because it really is something you just can't believe especially when you see the scale Model of what that city used to look like. Oh and speaking of my next expat insider seminar as promised I've got the information and sign-up page ready. All you have to do is go to www.thenewexpat.com click the link on the main page It's a little left of center where it says Johnny's July 2017 expat insider seminar. Check it out and do sign up Remember, this is an off the gringo tourist trail boots on the ground seminar

[14:25] That's where our gringo advantages more than alive and well That way you can experience it for yourself. And again, there'll be a maximum of 25 people So do sign up now that way you'll also get in on those early bird discounts So again, just go to www.thenewexpat.com and click on the seminar link. Check it out Oh, by the way, if you're watching this on YouTube right now I've got a couple of screenshots of those idiot Belizean contractors destroying that Mayan pyramid with a giant caterpillar excavator In fact, you'll see a picture where they whittled the pyramid down enough so that they busted through to the heart of it the center chamber What a bunch of idiots, huh? Anyway, these little tidbits We've been talking about today pretty much proved the fact that though Latins pay a lot of lip service to their great Mayan Inca

[15:14] and Aztec heritage in reality, they don't much give a shit about preserving it That's why a US German Japanese Italian British and French Archaeology teams come in and do the dirty work Unfortunately, it seems the average Latin person if given the choice between a pyramid or a chucky cheese on the corner He'd take the chucky cheese every time and yes, they do have those despicable childhood wastelands here in Latin America now, too Yeah, geez However, when it comes to those pre-Columbian artifacts a lot of Latins know there's money to be made now I'm certain because of heavy social and spiritual pressure Very few Latins will steal religious artifacts. It's a select few really bad apples that would stoop that low However, when it comes to valuable Aztec Inca or Mayan artifacts, that's another thing money talks and anything goes

[16:05] Oh by the way If you had a rummage sale or yard sale down here and yet find something that interests you an antique a record piece of jewelry Guitar French horn violin old radio, whatever and you check the antique sites on the net Just remember though. It might be worth a lot up in the states It's probably not worth much at all down here in Latin America because there's no real developed market for antiques or collectibles now That's a double-edged sword. For example Suppose you're at a rummage sale and you find a really nice old coca-cola machine from the 1940s At least nice enough so that you could fix it up and make it into a piece of furniture Art in your own house chances are if you look it up on the internet could be worth a couple of grand But down here in Latin America since there's virtually no market for that kind of stuff

[16:50] You might be able to pick it up for a hundred bucks or less unless One of the kids in the family that's selling the thing is internet savvy and knows a bit of English Which isn't likely but it does happen So he just might check it out on an antique site or eBay and that golden by will slip right through your fingers that's why when you run into a real antique store here in Latin America a Store that actually says and take with that is painted on the sign or on the front door You're never gonna walk away with a deal Especially if it says antiques in English because if that's how the owner makes his living He'll be on the internet checking out what he's got and what it's worth up in the first world So then you might ask who buys that stuff if it's all overpriced and you can't get a deal

[17:36] How do these guys stay in business? Well, for one thing there's not many of them at all You'll find where they do exist. It's almost always in the upscale areas That means the nearby populations are in gated guarded communities So you can guess who's buying that stuff upscale Latins who believe it's the trendy thing to do In fact, I've been in a few Latin homes where they've done it up pretty nice with that kind of mix and I've seen a few interior decorating disaster moves to Yeah, right. Like I'm the expert then there are those wealthy Latins who own a real piece of history a colonial house Estate or even mansion in a beautiful part of an old Latin city or town There are thousands and thousands of hidden gems like that throughout Latin America However, most gringos on vacation are just passing through never get to see the interiors of those spectacular places

[18:26] The fact is you could be standing on the sidewalk right outside One of those courtyard estates that takes up more than a city block and you wouldn't even know it in Latin America You never know what's behind a set of rustic old doors could be a giant garden a huge Spanish courtyard antique statues sculptures Fantastic ironwork and intricate water fountains. You just never know and believe me. Those are the kind of houses. Yes stick with that pattern You don't put modern furniture angular glass beanbag chairs IKEA and stainless steel Unless you want to ruin the whole Spanish colonial feel of the place By the way, those old homes are where a lot of the greatest antiques are scavenged That can happen when the owner dies off for they sell the place to make way for a skyscraper parking lot or office complex

[19:15] That can happen because most of the really great colonial places with those huge Courtyards are located in the center of big Latin cities that happened because the Latin colonial ruling class that first came over Settled right near the government buildings the Cathedral in the Central Park and now a couple hundred years later The majority of them are right smack in the middle of a business district And now that lands much more valuable when used for a mall parking lot or skyscraper But some families still maintain those houses and they furnish them with the antiques of the period and of course some families rent them out as elegant restaurants or office spaces and when they give them up or sell them in the Name of progress they become the major source of some of the coolest antiques you'll ever see

[20:00] But most of that stuff will end up in those high priced antique stores now throughout land America way out in the boonies There are many great Spanish colonial estates to some probably most of them in various stages of disrepair Most have been there for many generations and owned by or previously owned by big land barons Coffee sugar tobacco magnets and such and those places to have the big courtyards filled with Spanish colonial antiques Though modernized to a degree as far as their kitchens bathrooms wiring and plumbing though A lot of those places are up to only 1940s or 50s style codes in the first world the rest of the house usually kept in the old Spanish colonial theme Yet another reason why there are a small number of overpriced antique dealers in medium and large Latin cities

[20:51] Bottom line if you know anything about antiques yourself if it's your hobby or past time You could really clean up down here and have a lot of fun doing it too many years ago back in Chicago I collected a few antiques myself I used to go to a lot of Saturday and Sunday morning estate sales And I've noticed that since latins rarely throw anything away unless it's absolutely useless That means even middle and lower class latins who don't even have hot running water Will often have a couple of real nice antiques in the house Latin families of all classes are noted for handing down the furniture from generation to generation So there've been many times when I've sat on a very disgusting sofa Looking across the room at an absolutely beautiful letted glass lamp or dining room set

[21:38] Often the stuff's well over a hundred years old and the people who own it have no idea It's an antique or collectible and they keep it because they can't afford any new stuff And you know as hard as this is to say 90 to 95 percent of latins would rather have that crappy made in China junk that they sell at Walmart in Costco Now you've often heard me say that latins don't do maintenance and they don't take care of their things So a lot of this furniture isn't in the greatest shape, but most of that stuff is so well made it could easily be restored So that's where the hunt begins and where you really strike gold By the way, keep an eye out for those pre-columbian knickknacks. You'll see them occasionally in people's houses The fact is I've seen a lot of pre-columbian museum pieces sitting on shelves next to old Barbie dolls in

[22:26] Houses that have cold water plumbing and driveway chickens. This is Latin America You know so in the end latins are very very proud of their heritage They give a lot of lip service to the Mayans Aztecs Incas and their conquering Spanish colonial Ancestors who raped and pillaged everything along the way. Well, that may in part be why so many latins have a Schizophrenic love-hate approach to their ancestors. They're extremely proud of the pyramid of builders But they were short and brown which places a person at the bottom of the social and class heap in 21st century Latin American society. Whereas the Spanish conquistadors were brutal mean and cutthroat However, they brought new world technology and were taller and lighter Which places a person at the top of the social and cultural class heap in 21st century Latin America

[23:17] Hey, there's nothing fair about it But that's the way it is down here, which is certainly why there are lots of genealogical guilt complexes going around Oh, and I forgot to mention not so long ago I was at a Latin party sitting next to a Catholic priest and we got to talking about this very same thing And you know what he said? Everybody's afraid to go into hell But unfortunately, that's where most people are going and he wasn't just talking about Latin Americans either Okay. Now, here's a report that'll probably never make it up to the states Well, it will now this just came out yesterday from the Central American Business Network and we'll translate here. It says Taxes will be going up on rental accommodations in Costa Rica A bill is being prepared right now that would force individual home renters and Airbnbs to pay a

[24:03] 13% sales tax plus an additional 5% on top of that to support Costa Rica's national park system This new law it says will affect all private Accommodations for tourism such as Airbnb's home way and other private home rental operations It says the purpose of this tax actually two taxes is to force a more equal playing field Between established hotels and other hospitality industry groups who have been claiming for years that Airbnbs and other homestay platforms put them at a competitive disadvantage That means your next Airbnb rental in Costa Rica is about to go up at least 18% such a deal, huh?

[24:48] Hey, wait a minute. I know how to level the hotel and hospitality business playing field in Costa Rica Lower the taxes on everybody else 18% But those malignant pustulent maggots and government wouldn't have that now would they all right So once again, I recommend Costa Rica only for that quick week or two package deal all-inclusive sun and fun vacation And that's it. I won't go into much more detail on that you longtime listeners know exactly what I'm talking about By the way, like you I get a lot of stuff in my inbox and a lot of junk mail a lot of spam But this one kind of took the cake for this week why I'd get this stuff Who knows maybe they think I have some kind of ham or pork connection Here's the lead it says Dear, mr. Johnny our Chinese company wants to buy pig parts

[25:36] Our company represents a Chinese food processing company wishing to develop long-term Contracts for pig products coming out of Central America to be shipped to China But wait, it gets better or I should say worse. It says dear. Mr. Johnny if you wish to participate Forming long-term contracts to purchase pig tripe large intestines heads and feet the contract can include our Chinese firms provide the processing machinery and technical expertise So if you represent a pig slaughtering house or pork Rendering plant in Latin America and are interested in discussing a mutual benefit purchase sale relationship for pig parts We are looking forward to your contact. Mr. Johnny in English Spanish or Mandarin

[26:23] Well, that was nice, don't you think but I did notice they're very specific about the pig parts. They want to buy Yep, leave it to the Chinese to do their homework. They know this is the land of chicharrones You know, that's what you guys and gals up in the States refer to as fried pork rinds Yum, yum, so it turns out the Chinese want what's left So then how about we pack the first container to China with the Costa Rican Congress? All right We're getting towards in the show now and I almost forgot to mention as you probably know I do quite a few personal phone and Skype consults helping people work through their plan B And since my July 2017 seminars coming up as a little bonus for any of you listeners Who've done a phone or Skype consultation with me if you come to the seminar

[27:08] Whether you've done a half hour or full hour phone consult or Skype with me I'll give you a full refund. Oh and don't forget if you want to get your plan B ducks lined up right from the comfort Of your own home. They're up in Cleveland or Milwaukee There's no better way to get those wheels turning than by going to expat plan B.com and signing up for my expat essentials course Do check it out. That's expat plan B.com south of the border This is the expat files living in Latin America If you want me to help you out with your own plan B Just schedule a one-on-one consult send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan B from right up there in the States go to www.expatplanb.com and check out my three videos. See ya nos vemos