#670 – The Expat Files: House Swaps, Legal Structures, and Cultural Insights in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America the show that tells you just what it's like to live Work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started. All right, let's get rocking Questions questions. All I get is questions, but you know, that's all right. So let's answer a few this one's from Ron He calls himself the altiplano procrastinator not to be confused with the altiplano drifter who writes

[00:45] Coherent above average emails to and to think before I began this show some seven years ago now People had no idea what the altiplano was Oh people living here in Latin America did but gringos only one I'd say and maybe 10,000 knew anything about it and that's what this program's all about education if I have to beat it in tier So the altiplano procrastinator Ron writes, I'm just checking in with an idea Johnny I finally have a house for sale in the US. You can see it and then he gives me the website However, now I'm thinking of keeping the house and wonder if you have any opinions about house swaps in Latin America Something as on homelink stash us a dot org Perhaps one of your friends down there in Latin America would like a great place from which to explore the eastern US who knows

[01:32] Johnny you see keeping the house overseas When avoid the problem of having more money sitting in banks paying zero interest or buying more precious metals with outrageous storage fees I know I know Johnny just what you need another business opportunity, right? Me Johnny here by the way, Ron I think it's a great idea to buy precious metals as much of the stuff as you can But I think it's a very bad idea to store it at one of those facilities and pay it like you say those outrageous storage fees when in fact when the feces does hit the ventilator Are you sure you're gonna get that stuff back over the years? They've been countless gold and precious metal storage scams. So I'd watch out best bet take possession of it and bury it in your backyard or on grandma's farm next to the chicken coop or

[02:20] Somewhere private you can get access to at any time and you probably know this but others Don't put your medals in a small PVC pipe cap off the ends and bury it vertically not horizontally Why because that'll make it exceedingly difficult for anyone to find if they've got a metal detector Anyway, Ron our altiplano procrastinator goes on to say about house swapping Of course timing is everything. I just wanted to see if you thought that might fly. So what do you think Johnny? Well, I'm not sold on that idea Really the fact is Ron people who are firmly committed to having a plan B and living down here in Latin America They do not want to go back to the States Unless they absolutely have to the fact is most gringos and expats sell everything come down and start a brand new life for themselves

[03:06] And don't look back so I can't see there'd be much call for gringos and expats ever Wanting to swap houses besides most of us want to keep a low profile when we're down here after slowly Losing all our privacy up in the States drip by drip like the Chinese water torture But thankfully there's that other great thing about moving to Latin America You've got another shot at privacy a second chance at getting it back if you plan correctly Yep, believe it or not. You can start from scratch again A lot of people have done it you can if you want almost completely get off the grid In fact, I know some gringos and expats who live a perfectly first world life with all the conveniences yet You'd have to be a very good detective to find these guys What I mean is you won't be able to find them unless they want you to so how do they pull that up?

[03:55] Well, for one thing they stay off the social media then of course like I explained in so many past shows you have your lawyer be your front man on most of the Documents and contracts that you sign like for example smartphone internet utility and rental contracts using a lawyer in conjunction With an SA corporation can get you off the radar like you wouldn't believe so yes You can start over you can get a second chance and if you want to go to full nine yards You can even change your name once you're down here. It's totally legal and ridiculously easy Oddly enough at my seminars that subject comes up quite a bit Hmm, but you know if you swap a house automatically man You're on the radar again first thing of course you'll be shooting addresses back and forth and that's all over the net

[04:42] You'll be skyping and was up and sending photos all over the net to that means Contracts references even credit checks, so if you really want to do your plan be right You don't want to go house swapping because that'll involve opening up another can of worms for everyone to see on the net Plus if you're a little anal in this persnickety like I am that's the German side of me I just don't want people in my house when I'm not there because when you get back It's never the same unless of course your place is built like the gorilla house at the Chicago Zoo You know you just shoot the gorillas out and hose the place down once in a while I mean if you're like most gringos you've got nice art pieces some collectibles knickknacks Maybe even an heirloom or two not to mention here in Latin America You can build with some really cool stuff that you probably couldn't afford up in the states like

[05:30] rainforest hardwood mahogany floors and doors and windowsills and what about those nice appliances you selected and maybe your jacuzzi or sauna and those Electronic gadgets that can so easily get trashed now I don't know about you, but I'm not big on other people fiddling with my stuff even worse If they're camped out in your house for weeks at a time of course I'm talking about if it's your primary residence if you've got a vacation home You know like a condo on the ocean in Belize or Cartagena And you only use it a month or two out of the year, and you've got it in a rental pool That's a completely different story You know you can expect somewhere and tear from renters, and it's not your primary residence So it was probably designed to be in a rental pool, but as for swapping out your personal residence Well, it's my personal opinion that I'd never do it. Oh not that it couldn't work

[06:19] I'm sure there are lots of upper middle-class latins that would swap a house with you in the States But remember latins of all classes are short on details And they're never gonna take care of your place like you'd take care of theirs So are you ready for that eventuality by the way if you swap with an upper middle-class latin family surely You'll have a living maid So why bring that up well remember a latin family that can afford to swap is gonna have a full-time maid That means they're used to having maid service all the time That means the family you swap with is not used to lifting a single finger to do anything around the house So don't be surprised if it's a real mess when the contracts up, and you get your house back So yes swapping in your US house for a latin house is certainly possible, but I doubt if you get any gringo takers

[07:05] It'll be mostly upscale latins as for me I think there are way too many downsides that is unless your house is indestructible Oh by the way this will blow your mind lately on the big latin television networks I've been seeing quite regularly mostly in the late-night infomercial segments. There's a company I think it's called the American properties or some BS. That's selling plots of land get this in Florida So some latin real estate company is found a niche to fan the flames of the Swenio Americano That's the American dream though to any gringo who can understand the commercials because they're all in Spanish It looks like one big scam. Yes, it's a sucker pitch for latin americans who think they'll get a piece of gringo landia The ad is totally misleading

[07:52] It shows happy upscale gringos frolicking beautiful beachfront condos and south beach and disney world Only they're not beachfront lots. In fact, they never show the lots. I'm sure it's swampland. I'll bet half the time It's underwater So what's the sucker pitch? Well, no money down and they're selling them on the payment plan with prices starting at about 35,000 bucks However, if you call the 800 number or you go to the website you find out you never have to visit your land You can buy it from latin america pay the payments over 5 10 or 20 years. Whatever. No money down. No credit check No bank approvals. Oh and get this the way they word it It makes it sound as if once you own land in the states or have a claim to own land in the states Like a mortgage it's a shoe in to get your green card now. They don't say that outright, but they surely infer it

[08:41] So this real estate company is not aiming at the very wealthy Upper one or half of one percent of latins that can fly to my jammy or disney world once or twice a year Just to go shopping. They have the money to buy houses and condos. They don't have to buy undeveloped unproven lots like that Instead that company's targeting the next level down people who can't fly in and out of the states Quite so easily probably have never been to the states at all and most probably can't even qualify for a legal visa to the states That would mean the majority of the targeted market could never pass a us bank credit check Or have the down payment to get a mortgage on a property Actually, it's a pretty smart move by this real estate company They know every latin person's dream is to get a green card and own land in the states

[09:28] So they market it to upper middle class latinos That would be middle class americans to us who can afford a couple hundred bucks a month for the payment to me It's kind of brilliant They market it to people who can't afford to actually go visit the land No credit check. No down payment All you have to do is sign up and start making the payments and if you miss a payment or two or three It's over with you. I've broken the contract and now that lat can be optioned or sold off to the next guy In a long line of gullible latinos who are brainwashed by the american dream syndrome Yep, pete barnum said there was a sucker born every minute, but here in latin america. There's one born every second I'm sure of it now believe it or not This reminds me of a pakistani american guy who came to my very first seminar really nice guy now

[10:16] He told me he made his first million buying up whole blocks of distressed property in detroit You know ghetto war zone land He said he was picking it up for sometimes a hundred to a thousand dollars a house I'm sure you heard the stories whole blocks even subdivisions of detroit housing Abandoned and blighted went back to the city for non-payment of taxes And you could pick up those condemned dumps for as low as a dollar each or by just paying the back taxes Well, this guy bought up whole city blacks in detroit in the worst areas Got the titles free and clear and then he took out ads in cheap supermarket newspapers Guess where in europe mostly he said in middle class suburbs in england and his ads would say you could buy distressed properties in the us

[11:04] Whole houses with lots for around. I think he said ten thousand dollars selling them on the payment plan But no credit check whatsoever to gullible europeans mostly british people lower middle class and middle class Who also would love to have a real piece of land in the us Again, same deal. No credit check You just pay your monthly payment a few hundred bucks a month on a five ten or twenty year mortgage plan And if you missed a couple of payments, you broke the contract and the deal was off So that property was freed up again to sell to another gullible brit He said the lower class of brits who bought into that stuff Didn't have the money to make the overseas trip to see that property themselves And he said on the odd chance that someone actually did show up. He'd already informed him. It was distressed property

[11:52] Neighborhoods that had hit rock bottom and had nowhere to go but up Now we know that anyone would have to be crazy to invest in detroit property like that But if you're from new castle england and you live in a council house, which is sort of welfare and have big dreams I mean really big dreams Well, at least that gives him some kind of bragging rights down at the local pub The whole key he said was to market it to people who he knew would never be able to afford to take the trip To see these dumps. So in fact he had the title. So there was nothing illegal about it. Was it unethical? Well, you decide All right. So, you know how I feel about wife swapping. I mean house swapping You might feel completely different about it. Just my opinion, you know, all right

[12:37] So that was an email from the altiplano Procrastinator now you got one from the altiplano drifter just mix it up a bit says hey johnny Can you recommend someone that does lasik eye surgery in for example, guatemala city and approximately? What should one expect to pay for a treatment like that? All right drifter not to beat a dead horse, but we've discussed medical issues like that many times The fact is if you're in any medium or large sized latin city whether you're on or off the gran go tourist trail They've got all the first world medical treatments and technology Just like you have up in the states For example in guatemala city there happens to be a medical zone if you want to call it that All the medical specialties are represented. They've got many hospitals and clinics all private pay and first world In fact, they've got an ophthalmology

[13:23] Specialty building of around five or six stories just loaded with ophthalmologists What else right and you know a gringo friend of mine who's mikilas we visit at my expat insider seminar He had lasik surgery done in his eyes more than 10 years ago at that same clinic and is more than happy with the results And the price well when you're off the gringo tourist trail like in guatemala city It can be from one fifth to one quarter of what you'd pay for the same thing up in the first world And when you're on the tourist trail like panamark costa rico or mexico It's still a very good deal at around half of what you'd pay up in the states Of course, it all depends on the doctor in the clinic. I'm just generalizing here In fact, I generalize all the time on this show people accuse me of that in emails too

[14:09] And I say well life's all about generalizations, right? For example, if you're walking down the street and you feel like crossing However, you see two guys on the other side of the street with tattoos on their necks Topped off with green mohawks and a few other body mutilations. Are you gonna think twice about crossing that street? Are you just gonna mosey on over and say hey nice hair? Well as dirty harry would say are you feeling lucky? All right now an interesting question from mr. F. He'll be attending my july seminar He says johnny is medical marijuana and or hemp oil legal in latin america Would like to know the legal possibilities of bringing some down with us Well, mr. F. I can tell you this as far as raw marijuana goes I've never met anyone who's ever been busted down here though

[14:56] I see on the news occasionally if someone has a pound or more stationed his car and gets pulled over by the cops With that amount they'll assume you're a dealer and they're gonna nick you Now when you see big busts on tv, it's almost always for large quantities of coke Nowadays that and heroin are the big ticket items in latin america with the legalization of marijuana Little by little up in the states the marijuana business is not what it used to be and the narcos are saying There's no future in it meaning that they'll be shifting all their efforts to coke and heroin So even though latin lawyers will tell you that marijuana and hemp oil are illegal throughout latin america except in uragwe That said legislation is in the works in almost all latin countries to decriminalize marijuana and legalize it for medical use

[15:43] So let's talk about it and you read about it occasionally in newspapers But for now, anyway, it's only legal in uragwe In fact about two weeks ago, there was a report that mexico was going to decriminalize marijuana for personal use Looks like they'll be voting on that shortly and most think it'll pass Now the truth is all throughout latin america. You could say marijuana is decriminalized in spirit Meaning the cops have no will or desire to enforce the legislation. Here's a perfect example Now when you make it to one of these big markets here often you'll see little guys walking around selling little jars of stuff called marijuana You'll hear them. Yell marijuana marijuana and you're thinking wait a minute. That sounds an awful lot like marijuana

[16:29] What are they selling if you buy one of those little jars? I think it's like two bucks You'll see the logo is a marijuana leaf. Yep. It's a Mentholated marijuana cream used as a skin balm It comes in nicely manufactured little tins and plastic jars like carmex lip balm in the states And you can get it right out in the open on the street People are selling it in the market all the time and it doesn't look homemade looks like it's manufactured at a plant So lawyers and cops I think will tell you that marijuana is illegal even medical marijuana But yet they're selling this stuff right out in the open and when people are caught with a couple of joints Nothing happens You longtime listeners will probably remember me telling a story about a german drummer in one of my bands years ago who

[17:17] Got in an accident hit a kid on a bike Traffic cops happen to be right there at the scene. So they hauled him down to the local police station He had an ounce of pot in a car had it right on the dashboard or was it in the glove box? Can't remember. Anyway, he was worried He figured he was going to spend the next five years playing dodge the weenie in the local slammer But when his lawyer finally arrived and paid the necessary what you might call gratuities He not only walked but they gave him back his bag of pot too Which is another reason why you want to have a lawyer that you can call if anything out of the ordinary happens when you're down here All right. And speaking of medical marijuana and hemp oil I have a gringle friend was really sold on the idea that hemp oil could help him with a medical condition He went online and researched a guy named rick simpson who has formulas and how to make your own hemp oil

[18:06] So my gringle buddy grew some in his backyard Collected about a pound of it boiled up a batch one afternoon And now he's got a nice little Gerber baby jar full of this stuff And like he said if it doesn't help his ulcer or gastritis, whatever he could always smoke it Which begs the question would you have the balls to grow a pound of marijuana in your backyard? Just to cook up some hemp oil The point is down here a lot of people do it even if it's considered illegal on the books Why because there's little or no enforcement and no one really cares All right, switching gears slightly when I first got down here and for some years thereafter I hear latin ladies comment about kids they see and kids on tv They'd smile and say these words como herber

[18:53] Which in spanish means like herber and you know, I never quite got it until some years ago I realized they were commenting about the baby or kid they'd seen saying just like gerber Meaning the gerber baby on the baby food jars So when someone says como herber and it will always be a woman a guy will never say that What they're really saying is is that baby or kid looks just like the gerber baby latin people pronounce their g's As an h thus nino herber baby gerber. Oh and speaking of babies, you know I mentioned that when someone dies down here in latin america They'll put a big black bow on the front door of the house and I mean big Almost always around the size of the pillows you have on your bed

[19:41] So you see them on doors and you see them on chicken buses, too That usually means the driver or his helper bit the dust However, if a child dies that is a person under 16 They'll put a white bow on the door not a black one and the casket will always be white, too So if you're driving around and you see a black bow or a white one, you'll know exactly what that means Now a boots on the ground story from yours truly the other day My maintenance guy was doing some cement work construction drilling holes with an old Milwaukee brand hammer drill that I brought down with me from the states almost 30 years ago So that hammer drill is old but for those of you who know about construction tools and equipment You know the name Milwaukee sure the brand still exists They're heavy duty and not something the do-it-yourselfer would buy. They're just way too expensive

[20:30] Why because they pretty much last forever this Milwaukee hammer drill i'm talking about has had some life. It's helped build around 13 construction projects here in latin america And was still going strong until well the other day when my maintenance guy drilled I guess one too many holes in a very thick slab of concrete Not to mention about a week earlier. He dropped it off the roof and it fell two stories So I let it cool down. I took it apart Notice that the contacts the brushes for the motor were a bit fried and worn down to the little springs that keep it in contact with the rotor Now brushes are little sticks of carbon about as thick as a pencil that start out Maybe an inch long and the more you use a drill or a motor that has contact brushes like that

[21:17] Well, they wear down to nothing now looking at these things I saw they were custom made and soldered to the springs So I checked on the internet for the nearest service center for Milwaukee drills and you know, every big latin city Has service centers for all well-known brands of tools Bosch, Ryobi, Skille, DeWalt, Black & Decker Even Craftsman because Sears is everywhere here in latin america now So I located the repair center for Milwaukee products And you know because few people down here use Milwaukee It's the high price stuff most will use Black & Decker or those cheap Chinese knockoff brands And you may have heard of a brand called trooper. That's really popular here in latin america. It's made in mexico That's probably the number one brand in all of latin america and 10 years ago. They didn't even exist

[22:04] Why are they so popular? Well, they're about half the price of the expensive stuff and do get the job done That is if you're a do-it-yourselfer and use tools just occasionally But I'd never own that stuff if I was a contractor and just in the last year or two latin america has been flooded with weirdly named Chinese construction tools and it's mostly all cheap ass junk So what's a local contractor going to buy a Milwaukee tool that costs a month salary or a cheap ass piece of chinese Junk that costs a quarter of that so then who buys the high-end stuff? Well, there's not much of it That's for sure, but it's those big construction companies the ones that build shopping malls subdivisions and residential towers They'll buy the heavy-duty expensive stuff that lasts a lifetime because you know when you're drilling holes through steel and concrete all day

[22:52] You have to really have the heavy-duty stuff not the mexican trooper brand or the junk from china By the way, that's not to say Milwaukee and dewalt and all the others aren't made in china Yeah, but they've got high-end first world standards So don't buy the sang wang shang brand from china You'll be sorry So anyway, the Milwaukee tool service center was in an industrial scruffy part of the big city a place Gringo's would never want to live work play or hang out But that's normal when I pulled into the protective parking lot There was a big sign that showed all the brands they were authorized to service there and sure enough It wasn't a service center just for Milwaukee tools. They serviced black and decker dewalt Makita bush a lot of the high-end brands So I handed over that poor old burnt out Milwaukee drill to the guy behind the desk

[23:40] He checked the computer for inventory and found what he called the carbonas. It's spelled just like carbon. That's C-A-R-B-O-N-E-S Carbonas what we call brushes in english. They call them carbonas because they're made out of carbon So why not logical right? He said yeah, we have the carbonas and I said how much 25 bucks I said what 25 bucks He said yeah, but original parts and all that I think I paid something like 200 bucks for that drill So maybe it wasn't such a bad deal But I also knew there was a little electric motor repair place called edison That's like thomas edison not so far away in an even scruffier dirtier part of the industrial section of town An area that was okay during the day, but i'd never want to walk through it at night

[24:26] It was a place a year or so ago where I'd taken my burnt out exercise machine treadmill motor and they fixed it that is rewired it good as new For around 30 bucks and that was a big job. Not just carbonas. So I told the guy at the repair center I'll be right back and I headed down to edison. I walked in handed the drill to the guy behind the counter I said how much to fix this he looked at it for about two minutes and said no problem Be ready tomorrow with brand new car bonus the price five bucks I said five bucks and he said yeah, that's because I got to put him on the lathe and make him by hand Like he was apologizing and justifying why they were so expensive you're getting this So, of course, I gave him a crack at it. Pates it up works perfectly

[25:12] Even gave me a 90-day guarantee And the moral of that story is you go to a first world service center You pay first world prices you go to a local guy You pay latin prices same thing happened about three years ago when my lg washing machine took a crap Solenoid was leaking on the intake water valve and I stopped into the authorized service center They said 20 bucks for the house call plus parts. Meanwhile a couple of miles away There's a little hole in the wall appliance repair shop really tacky looking washers refrigerators and microwaves stacked everywhere Well, he came over the house. No charge came back with the part about two hours later total cost 20 bucks Versus the authorized service center, which would charge 20 bucks just to come over and look at the thing Now, of course i'm talking about getting things fixed when they're out of warranty, but you get the idea

[26:01] Bottom line always give the little local repair guys a crack at whatever breaks down in your house before you take it To the factory authorized repair center makes sense on two levels, doesn't it? First of all, you're getting a great deal. And second of all, you're giving the local neighborhood guy the work All right, we're getting close to my july 2017 expat insider seminar as this show is going out on june 23rd And the seminar starts july 8th. You still have a chance to get in got a few spots left There's always a last minute scramble to get in, you know Anyway, if you're still working out the details, don't forget to go to The new expat dot com and click on johnny's seminar link for full information and sign-up details

[26:46] Once you're there, you'll also see some information about those famous john gault pre and post seminar trips You don't want to miss one or both of those if you're thinking about doing business in latin america That's where the ideas will really pop up And if you just can't swing it or get boots on the ground right down Don't forget to sign up for my expat essentials court Just go to www dot expat plan b.com to get my three free introductory videos to my nine hour course Hey, check it out. What have you got to lose? They're free, right? And finally when you're at the new expat.com website, you'll see there's a phone consultation slash questionnaire form you can download You'll need that if you're thinking of doing a one-on-one consult with me Do have a look at that to see if you've hashed through all the questions pertaining to your own plan b

[27:35] This is the expat files living in latin america If you want me to help you out with your own plan b just schedule a one-on-one consult Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan b from right up there in the states Go to www dot expat plan b.com and check out my three videos. See ya nos vemos