#674 – The Expat Files: Life, Legalities, and Living in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America the show that tells you just what it's like to live Work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started When any one of us makes a mistake in public that is in front of people it can come off as stupid funny or embarrassing or a bit of all three Which is why I like to thank all you listeners out there who wrote me emails last week saying Johnny

[00:46] You have to look at your show descriptions on potb.com and PRN FM That's progressive radio network because you'll see in one of those shows when you were talking about earthquakes in Latin America You were referring to anti seismic Construction to counter earthquake forces. Well those show Descriptions and pot being in on PRN FM seemed to have gotten kind of lost in translation because they came out instead of anti seismic construction anti-semitic Construction so instead of reading for example green goes the next paths want to live in Latin American houses that have been constructed to current anti seismic codes Instead it says gringles and expats want to live in Latin American houses that have been constructed to current anti-semitic clothes Well, maybe just maybe those kind of codes exist in the Muslim world where possibly they're building mosques

[01:38] Though I assure you there's no such animal in Latin America. Wow anti-semitic Construction codes sounds like a bad comedy skit, huh? So where are the spell checkers and the proofreaders when you need them? Well, instead of feeling stupid or embarrassed about that little faux pas. I hope everybody got a little laugh out of it Speaking of anti-semitic a couple of months ago a longtime listener all around good guy and expat insider attendee Dave sent me a picture from Paraguay It was an advertisement for a chauffeur and driver's school called Iscuelas de chauffeur Hitler Spelled exactly how old Adolf Schickelgruber spelled his yep It turns out in South America not much at all in Central America There are lots of people named Adolf and Hitler even Mussolini

[02:24] Don't believe me just go to South America and check out a few phone books. Yep. They still have them Why would that be when up in the states? No one and I mean no one would ever name their kid Hitler or Mussolini Well, of course that goes back to the Eva Peron days back in Argentina, you know She was a Hitler supporter. In fact, after the war, she let a lot of them in the country. No questions asked So yes, when you're in South America once in a while, you'll see people and businesses named Hitler even Mussolini And if you think that's just a one-off deal, how about this in Brazil the director general of the civil police for the Department of Agoyas His name is Hitler Mussolini, I'm not kidding Hitler Mussolini and if you're watching this on YouTube right now, you'll see that idiot pussbag in all his glory and the Hitler driving school

[03:12] I was mentioning so then what do you do when you actually meet someone named Hitler or someone like the new president of Ecuador named? Lenin Alright enough said about that. Anyway, since this show is going out on July 7th right now as you hear this I'm hurting cats around at my expat insider seminar. That means next week I'll be way too busy with boots on the ground to do my two shows So on Friday July 14th and Sunday July 16th, you'll be hearing two shows from the expat files archives There's a lot to choose from I think there's six hundred and seventy five shows in the archive now So next week, I'll be on vacation. Everyone needs a vacation, right? I know I know people think I'm down here in Latin America Experiencing my own little piece of paradise. So I'm on vacation all the time, right? Well, according to first world standards

[04:01] That's true. So all I can say is get your own plan B going or eat your heart out Alright, here's an interesting question. I get very infrequently but occasionally newlyweds who come down to Latin America will spring this one on me This email goes like this Johnny. My girlfriend and I are getting married in four months We're setting up our plan B Hope to make it down to your seminar within a year or so and then move down there permanently within two years Question is does there exist that phenomena we have here up in the US that now has a very tainted reputation Talking about that anchor baby phenomena, you know You've probably heard is kind of a driving force for certain segment of the illegal alien population in Latin America Specifically they'll try to get across the border when a woman's pregnant

[04:47] Have that baby in US territory and that baby now is a permanent US citizen and neither the baby nor the parents can be deported That's how the term anchor baby came about like an anchor on a boat. Then he says Johnny I'm sure you know all that but the question is does that phenomena exist in Latin American countries? That would be anchor baby in reverse Well, our kids be automatic citizens in the Latin country of our choice I'd like to know which countries if any allow that sort of thing so I can kind of direct my wife in that direction when she drops one because according to your broadcast and so many others that would give the child a Definite advantage all around to have two nationalities and two passports. Thanks again. Johnny. Keep up the good work Norman and Phyllis then he has a PS here. He says Johnny when we come down to your seminar

[05:36] Don't call my wife Phyllis. She hates that name. Call her Phil. All right, Norm. I'll try to remember that Though keep in mind in most Latin American countries It's very very easy to do a legal name change All you do is hook up with a lawyer fill out some paperwork Go to court just one time take maybe 15 minutes once you're up there in front of the judge and you'll have a brand new Legal handle then your wife can be just Phil or anything else She wants to be and after that you just go down to immigration and get your legal ID paperwork changed However, if you're gonna do a legal name change down here in Latin America I recommend you don't do it until you've gone all the way through the residency process and got your nationality and passport Fact is I know of a gringo with permanent residency in Latin country who went for a name change

[06:22] Got it done and it's caused great complications for him because he had to have all his residency paperwork and his DPI That's his national ID card changed to the new name, of course But his new name and ID documents in Latin America don't match the name on his US passport anymore He's running into all sorts of roadblocks trying to straighten out that mess Why because he's ready to get his nationality and passport in his chosen Latin country And when he goes to get the Latin passport They're gonna ask to see his American passport or whatever country is coming from and the names won't match So imagine the hoops he's gonna have to jump through going back to the states Changing his name legally there getting a new passport to match the new name change in his Latin country So he's kind of screwed. He'll remain a resident

[07:07] But he probably won't be able to get a Latin passport in that country So on the end if you're looking for a legal name change It's absolutely cheap dirty and fast and a hundred percent legal But don't even think about it till you've gone through all the residency steps and received your nationality and passport in your chosen Latin country At that point who cares what it says on your US passport You really don't need that one anymore And as you know to get a Latin country passport It generally takes five to seven years five if you enter the country on a permanent residency status And around seven if you enter a country with temporary residency status So after you've been a permanent resident for five years or so, that's when you can get your nationality and passport However, there are a few countries like Paraguay where you can get a fast-track passport in three or four years

[07:53] But you knew that already right? Anyway, we're talking anchor babies here Hey, in fact, I know of a couple that came down to one of my earlier expat insiders seminars They moved down here had two babies now and they're both anchor babies Yep, they instantly got their Guatemalan citizenship, but what about other Latin countries? Well, here's the rest of that story now Latin countries do not use the term anchor baby. They call it who's so lee That's Jus so li which translates to the right of the soil in Latin not Spanish Yep That term juice so lee is latin which means just like up in the states that children born in the country are granted citizenship Regardless of the nationality or immigration status of the parents in other words

[08:38] The parents could be illegals or just tourists passing through no matter any kid bored. They're immediately achieved citizenship All right. So here's a list of Latin countries with what's called unrestricted Jus so lee that means a hundred percent anchor baby status. That would be Argentina Belize Bolivia Brazil, Costa Rica, Dominica, Ecuador, El Salvador Granada, Guatemala, Guiana, Honduras, Mexico, Nicaragua, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Uruguay and Venezuela So it turns out in other Latin countries such as Chile a newborn can only receive instant citizenship If certain additional requirements are met such as at least one parent being a citizen or permanent resident of that country

[09:26] Or at least one parent born in Chile, too. Now, it's true There are very few gringos and expats coming down to Latin America Thinking of starting a family in heaven to concern themselves with such things So it is obscure information but in the interest of being complete about various situations here in Latin America There it is. By the way this you may or may not know but there are some vindictive evil gringos living down here in Latin America Especially on the gringo tourist trail off the trail around many gringos. So you don't find any evil vindictive ones I've met a few and I stay far far away. What am I talking about here? Listen to this email. Johnny Thanks for that special information about how to get a police report in the US if you move around a lot and don't have a permanent mailing address there Thankfully, I've got my plan B going in Costa Rica

[10:15] I know you don't like Costa Rica much and every day I spend there I'm seeing more and more of what you mean, which brings me to this little story Just when you think things are going right you're having some luck sometimes by getting a lawyer and Skirting around the edges of things like so many of us gringos and expats do Only to find out that there are gringos in your new Latin country that will try to sabotage you Seems that some gringos are irritated when other gringos have good fortune Why probably because they had some bad luck along the way themselves and been ripped or scammed or maybe they're just generally Nasty people anyway as you know and probably your listeners do too in order to get a driver's license in a Latin country You have to have permanent residency Which is the basis of this story and since almost all of us gringos have been brought up to be sticklers on the law

[11:05] We do know how harshly it can be enforced up in the United States So once we get to Latin America We want to have all our paperwork correct and we feel very nervous if we don't so recently about six months ago Anyway, my US driver's license expired So I'm down in Costa Rica driving with an expired US license and the cops down here seeing so many gringos day after day No enough English to be able to check and see if your license is expired now and they'll give you a real hefty fine It's up to a couple of hundred bucks now I know that's very unlike the police in other Latin countries where they seem to really like gringos and give you the benefit that Every time of course the other exception being Mexico

[11:51] I totally agree what you say I've been stopped by the police in Mexico and men never want to go through that again Anyhow, I have a number of friends in Nicaragua They've been driving on expired US driver's licenses for years and the cops when they get pulled over Don't even know how to read those licenses and just wave them right on through. It's that gringo advantage You're always talking about Johnny By the way cops in Nicaragua are hundred times more friendly and obliging than the police in Costa Rica But that's another story because obviously Nicaragua has not had the flood of gringos that Costa Rica has in the last 20 years And I'll tell you here in Costa Rica the locals including the cops are addicted to US money Sorry to say the country's pretty much ruined But if you own land or you've got some kind of thing going here For example in the tourist biz like I've got that's dependent on gringos what you're gonna do

[12:40] So I've been driving on an expired US license just waiting to get stopped by the cops here in Costa Rica and getting nailed for a Fine and since in my case, I'm stuck I can't prove a constant source of outside monthly income of at least $2,000 a month. That means I can't get my permanent residency without that I can't get a Costa Rican driver's license and drive legally, etc, etc So my next step of course like you mentioned I should go back to the United States and get my driver's license renewed man That's easier said than done Especially since laws in the US have really cracked down as you've mentioned most states I've checked in to now require you to live in that state for at least one to six months with a permanent address Before they'll renew your driver's license or let you get a new one

[13:26] The only legal way around that is if you own a house or business in that state and thus have a legal address In the past many gringos and expats who were stuck in the same situation as I Were getting around it by giving the address of a friend or family member when they went down to renew their license or get a new one Warning since this is technically against the law up in the states be careful who you share that information with as I've already known at least two people that shared that info on blogs with Expat groups in Costa Rica Panama and Mexico and there were repercussions Specifically in Costa Rica the police knocked on the door of one of these bloggers who? Reported how he got his license getting someone to front an address for him Yes, the dummy used his own name the police interrogated him took down all kinds of information and finally

[14:16] Confiscated his driver's license I know of two separate instances of this happening in Costa Rica all because they were proud to tell their stories on Expat blogs in a Latin country whose people mostly speak English including government officials So sadly this is what happens sometimes when unhappy nosy gringos with way too much time on their hands Sit around in paradise just waiting to rain on someone else's parade I also know of a few cases where Expat gringos tried to bring in some Organic veggie seeds and stuff from the states flying into Costa Rica and when they arrived at Immigrations the airport they were stopped by the Minister of Agriculture Called in an S specifically for those seeds how they know that now nothing happened

[15:04] They just confiscated their seeds But again that commonality here was that these gringos in Costa Rica were posting all kinds of things on their healthier lifestyle blog So bottom line all is not well with paradise Especially when there's way too many gringos with way too much time on their hands So do watch what info you share with others in blogs and on the internet and don't use your real name and address So in hindsight my advice which no one will listen to anyway is to skip Costa Rica Panama and Mexico and now Ecuador in fact my ex tells me now that the Social Security and one so nice national health care system that so many especially Retired gringos are counting on is completely buzzed It's bankrupt former President Correa has left it in the shambles and it's unfortunate that when the gringos start landing

[15:54] It really is paradise lost but for all the negatives is still much better living down here than Los Estados O'neill's however as you often repeat it in your shows Johnny people can have a smaller footprint down here But most the time they don't think about it till it's too late once again beware of the Expat blogosphere It's a temptation to get on those things I know I've done it anyway Johnny hope to buy you a gluten-free donut and a cup of coffee someday Gert well, thanks grit for that But the problem is if I took everyone up on the offer to buy me some Predigested gluten-free donuts I'd be looking at a decaf coffee colon cleanse for sure and you know how I feel about decaf That's strictly for whims. You know I often wonder why is it that everyone wants to buy me a tequila coffee or a Cuban cigar?

[16:42] But no one ever offers me a lift in their Learjet or the keys to their villa in the south of France Bet you guys have that problem too, huh? Hey, by the way you longtime listeners know I sometimes talk about how one of the easiest ways to pick up the local Latin dialect Is to watch the 6 or 10 o'clock local Latin evening news and there's a couple good reasons for that First of all the news announcers speak nice and slowly and enunciate correctly and they don't use a lot of slang However, you'll pick up the local slang too because when they do interviews on the street when there's a chicken buss crash or a perforated Pustulant politician they'll interview the locals or the cops or the bomb bettos. That's the fireman Yep, they call them bomb bettos which literally translates in Spanish to the pumpers because a bomb

[17:29] Bah is a pump it also means bomb, but let's not go there So you'll hear it nice correctly pronounced Spanish from the newscasters and the slang and the local lingo When they're interviewing people not to mention you'll get the scoop on what's happening in the local area the politics the nice areas the bad areas The movers the shakers the nice guys the scumbags the local advertisers the big names in town The social events where you want to be and don't want to be on Friday and Saturday night Yep listening to the news is a really good way to get the lay of the land and I'd be remiss if I didn't mention those Cosmetically cantilevered Latin weather ladies that you have to see to believe okay So I was watching the local Latin news just the other day and they have reports from the states all the time You know on the street reporters up in Nueva York my jammy and other Latin meccas

[18:18] And the reporter was interviewing some crying wibbering Latin ladies who'd just been ripped off via cell phone Turns out there's a brand new scam going on right now up in the states now illegal Let's have all the amenities smartphones and stuff. Why wouldn't they that's part of this when you Americano American dream Right and they also make money in the so-called informal job market meaning cash money And they send remiss us back to their home countries every month like every good Latin person does up in the states well as it turns out there's a group of Latin IT specialists up in the states who are posing as IRS agents sending text messages to illegal aliens on their cell phones saying that Taxes are doing if they don't pay up ice will show up at their door and deport them So how'd these bad boy IT guys get that information?

[19:04] Well, Latin's just love their iPhones and devices and they're all over social media What's up Facebook Instagram probably even more than the average legal American and they give up all their data So a group of Latin IT guys figured out a great scam in a way. It's brilliant They contact these illegal aliens on their smartphones tell them they can pay their estimated Back taxes and payments and give them official looking bank deposit information and they say if they don't pay ice The US immigration service is gonna show up at their front door or their place of work But if they keep up with the payment schedule, they'll be within the law and won't be deported What a scam and as it turns out thousands and thousands of illegal aliens are falling for it because well, they're afraid

[19:50] They're scared and the scammers know the illegals are perfect targets because they're not gonna go to the authorities and complain Now the question is and they asked this in the report to a Latin tax attorney in my jammy They asked him if it was illegal to extort money earned illegally from illegal aliens He said the victims aren't being forced to pay up. Then again, he said it's illegal to impersonate an IRS agent Well mull that one over for a while. Will you? Hmm, that's the kind of stuff You're likely to see when you're watching the six or ten o'clock news down here in Latin America. My advice It's highly recommended whether your Spanish sucks or not Now I know quite a few gringos whose Spanish sucks and they'd like to improve it, but they're not getting anywhere They've tried Latin movies soap operas and sitcoms

[20:36] But the big complaint from gringos is that most of the time they talk way too fast The fact is sometimes even very good Spanish speakers have trouble listening to the movies and soap operas I've had that trouble off and on too So then what about trying to improve your Spanish by reading Spanish books and novels? The only gringos and expats I know who do are backpackers and teachers and such who've actually majored in Spanish back in the states I mean that is part of the curriculum if you're a Spanish major even so I've yet to meet a gringo or expat Aside from Spanish major or a Spanish teacher reading or toting a Spanish book made out of a dead tree for that matter these days You rarely see gringos with books made out of dead trees kind of sad, isn't it? Enough said about that. By the way, I occasionally get emails from people saying Johnny You know if you're living in Latin America, and there's an EMP strike over the states

[21:25] Is that gonna knock out the power in Latin America, too? Well, if you know anything about massive solar ejections or EMP strikes You know that could bring down the power grid for days weeks even months It's not if but when though most people just don't want to contemplate it and by the way That's why some very wealthy people will come down to my expat insider seminars They're not all wealthy, you know, some of them are just collecting social security or disability, too But there are some that are very wealthy. They tell me Johnny, you know, I could live anywhere I've got enough money to build myself a little city a compound my own guards I could have an isolated homestead or bunker in Idaho or Montana completely off the grid However, if there's a war in the states or an EMP attack, I don't care how isolated or well protected I am

[22:11] I'm screwed which is why again some very wealthy people want to get the hell out of the states They foresee certain bad things on the horizon that maybe most other people don't or would rather not think about Anyway, a large solar flare or solar mass ejection could hit anywhere on earth at any time. They're rare But when I hit they fry all things electronic, but that stuff's random and it's like throwing the dice You don't really know it's really those directed EMP attacks that are so worrisome up in the first world That scenario has been talked about quite a lot lately a tiny nuke Detonated high up in the atmosphere could wipe out the power grid for a whole section of the US and a couple of them There goes the whole northern hemisphere. And if you've been reading up on this, you'll know if that happens

[22:57] 90% of the US population will be dead in six months, which brings us to Latin America People say what happens in an EMP attack down here? Nothing because no one's gonna do an EMP attack down here It's not strategic It'd be a waste of time and effort and a very expensive new and even if somehow there was a nasty EMP attack up north Then the missile somehow went off course and ended up over Mexico or Panama Well, you know for three-quarters of population of Latin America life would go on as usual cows tomatoes papayas driveway chickens are not affected by EMP attacks, you know So the question is how many cows tomatoes and driveway chickens? Do you have in your backyard in Milwaukee, New York or Cleveland? Don't forget when you're down here in Latin America, especially in the Alti Plano

[23:43] You don't need air conditioning or heating up where you are. Can you get along without that stuff? Oh, and by the way, when you listen to alternative radio, you get on all kinds of mailing lists usually prepper lists, right? I'm sure you get those junk mails from all kinds of preppers sites I do some of them really make me laugh. They want to sell you way too much unneeded stuff Some are even out to gouge you I mean if you really followed the prepper handbook to the letter you'd spend at least 50,000 bucks out fit in your house or your bunker Whatever and to think all that well you could have been putting together your plan B Latin style Spending a fraction of that with a fraction of the stress actually having fun while you're doing it You could have made a few trips down hooked up with a lawyer started your temporary your permanent residency made some contacts Checked out the rentals the doctors the hospitals the neighborhoods the food markets in effect

[24:32] You'd have a fantastic insurance policy when the feces hits the ventilator up in the states Which it surely will eventually then at the first whiff of trouble and there'll be a lot of hints up there You head down settle into your plan B and watch the first world crumble from a nice safe distance I did mention that some prepper sites so over sell you they'll even scam you and gouge it mostly because Americans aren't Experts when it comes to survival techniques or surviving calamities So the paranoia effect kicks in and we open our wallets and buy a lot of junk Remember the billions spent prepping for y2k now a good example of prepper advertising overkill is when they talk about Protecting your sensitive electronic equipment with a Faraday cage or two or three So prepper sites will sell you a Faraday cages and Faraday protective bags to put your electronic equipment in

[25:22] In fact, I'm looking at one of these Faraday bug out bags right now range from 100 to 300 bucks Of course that stuff will work. But did you know that your old microwave oven? Yep But burnt-out microwave oven that you probably throw in the trash or maybe it's sitting in the basement because you're a pack rat And you don't throw anything away Most people don't know that a burnt-out microwave oven is one of the best Faraday cages All you do is put your electronic devices in their iPhone iPad back up hard drives Plug the microwave oven cord into the wall and you're all set Everything in there will survive an EMP attack. So why a microwave oven? Well, think about it The microwaves produced inside can fry and damage most anything so they have to be confined So every microwave oven is in fact a Faraday cage Just look through the glass in the front door and you'll see it's a perforated metal screen

[26:12] That's the front wall of the Faraday cage though to work properly as a Faraday cage You have to plug it into the wall Then it's grounded to the earth through your electrical wiring in the house Now don't try this unless your microwaves completely out of commission bad idea because someone might come along press the buttons and then fry what's inside I know you're thinking microwaves are too small to get all your electronic stuff in there Well, you can't but here's a great hack get yourself one of those big metal garbage cans Like used to have in the old hood when you were a kid before the plastic ones came So a metal garbage can with the cover on is a very nice Faraday cage But it's got to be grounded so you can put it on the cement basement or garage floor Put a couple of bricks in it to weight it down That'll give it pretty good Contact to the earth ground through that cement and some people will attach a thick number 10 or 12 copper

[27:01] electrical wire to the garbage can Using a bolt a nut and a couple of washers to tighten it to the metal then attach the other end to a spike Or grounding rod that they've driven into the dirt nearby now. You've got a really good earth ground You know, you could protect five even ten laptops in one of those Of course, I can go into a lot more detail on how to do all this, but I'm sure you're probably bored to tears So wherever you are up in the stage You could protect yourself from any MP rather cheaply or you can skip all that and come on down here to Latin America This is the expat files living in Latin America If you want me to help you out with your own plan B Just schedule a one-on-one consult. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan B from right up there in the states go to

[27:51] www.expatplanb.com and check out my three videos. See ya. Nos vemos