#705 – The Expat Files: Life, Crime, and Anonymity in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wander Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Hey, you know once in a while they get people asking me. Do you get a hate mail Johnny sure I do But almost always it's unsigned or anonymous kind of cowardly, you know Yeah, like I'm gonna reach out to my Chicago mob friends and have your legs broken from down here in Latin America

[00:47] Hey, if I didn't get hate mail once in a while I know I wasn't tickling enough nerve endings out there By the way speaking of my past life if I get lots of emails from people asking me about that, too You always have to wonder how much of that you want to share. You know, I don't talk too much about that in podcasts or on the Radio, however mentioning I'm from Chicago always conjures up stereotypes, doesn't it? Seems like all over the world every time you say you're from Chicago some guy whether from China Indonesia Peru or wherever will grin and say Chicago Al Capone I'm not kidding if I heard that once I heard it a thousand times They'll say Al Capone and some of them all do an air Tommy gun kind of thing You know rat at that the fact is some of my best Chicago buddies were Italians. Hmm. That sounds rather cliche, doesn't it?

[01:36] You know, you can't really grow up in Chicago and not know any Italians No, I don't mean immigrant Italians off the boat. Those are rare I'm talking about second and third generation Talians, you know, that jogs my memory that reminds me How about this for a boots on the ground Chicago Italian mob story I had a friend and Italian worked as a bartender at a very nice Italian restaurant and the back of that restaurant Just happened to be a private hotel a real nice little hotel Maybe only around 20 rooms that no one no average person could ever stay at you Just couldn't get a room there people did stay there but not the likes of us So you could walk through that nice Italian restaurant and there was a door in the back And if you opened it you'd see there was a regular hotel desk with little slots for mail and such a lot of nice wood

[02:23] And stained glass too very elegant There was usually no one posted behind the desk there, but it did look like it was open for business Now I found out later from my Italian bartender buddy famous Italian guys that came through town would occasionally stay there Like for example Dean Martin Frank Sinatra Sammy Davis jr. Say what Sammy Davis jr? Well, he was an honorary afro Italian, don't you know then there were those visitors with old-world European names like Knuckles and Bugsy You get the idea right anyway I think it was in my third year of engineering undergrad my buddy used to let me eat for free at that little Italian restaurant By the way this Italian guy was one of my high school buddies, so we did keep in touch He worked the day shift in a restaurant and occasionally went into that deserted hotel part for who knows what?

[03:15] And since he was kind of the day manager. He let me eat lunch for free on the house Hey, what are friends for right by the way? This was well before the internet and cell phones And you know there were four VIP tables in the back of the restaurant each with its own private telephone I know I know today everything's VIP right, but back then the VIP label was so rare It actually was a big deal. I mean come on these days even chucky cheese has a VIP section And as for the private phones on the tables today that'd be a joke But back then before cell phones that was the first time I ever saw such a thing outside of Hollywood movies Anyway one day. I was in there getting a freebie lunch, and it was very slow No one was in the place and my Italian bartender, but he said hey Johnny you want to see a million dollars

[04:06] I said what now remember this was way back when if someone had a million bucks They could retire in high style forever Anyway when he said that I said sure kind of half-believing him And he walked me back through the door that led to that private hotel section There was no one there, and he walked me behind the front desk You know where they have the mail slots and there directly under the counter was a nice old safe You know the real old heavy black gilded kind with all that gold trim now the door was slightly open And he just pulled on the handle and it opened all the way They were just stacks and stacks of 50s and hundreds then he said Johnny. I was wrong I think today there's more like two and a half mil in here

[04:52] Anyway as it turns out about two months later the place was raided by the feds little did anyone know But those special phones and the house phone had been wiretapped for months It was part of a Chicago mob money-laundering scheme where bag men would pick up big dough from their operations around town Stop off at that hotel and put the dough in that safe Then once a week drive or fly to Vegas and make a drop at the Sands Hotel Because you know those Vegas casinos least back then were operating with millions and millions of bucks worth of cash every day So it was a money mixing operation Gambling dough from Vegas got mixed with the illegal dough coming in from Chicago Oh for the good old days things were a lot simpler before fat gun got kaha

[05:39] And as for my friend when the feds took the place down he played dumb. He played this stupid bartender act He just worked there They weren't after him anyway They went for the big guys and in the end some of the high-end wise guys and their family members went to jail However, my friend suddenly disappeared a lot of us thought he was dead, but he reappeared five years later He said it was part of an inside deal for keeping his mouth shut in front of the feds what that meant I don't really know and I didn't want to know Now the amazing thing for me and maybe you're thinking the same thing There's a safe. It's got a million bucks or more in it and it's open and all morning and late into the afternoon There's really no one around except my buddy the young bartender and in the moment

[06:28] I did say you have the combination for that thing He said no, it's always open and I gave him that kind of flabbergasted. What look he said Johnny No one would dare come in here and take one red scent Yep, that was Chicago way back when I knew exactly what he was talking about So yes I can vouch for the fact that in the 60s 70s and 80s if you lived in Chicago No matter how straight and clean you were yourself You had about one degree of separation between those connected types and of course scumbag Pusshead politicians. So in some cases the stereotypes are true Like for example, Chicago being mobbed up in the past same with Vegas Just like if you grew up in an internet saturated mindless social media big brother state you get used to that, too

[07:17] That's your point of reference or I should say that is the point of reference for most people under 40 these days Anyway, I started out this segment by talking about the occasional pieces of hate mail that I get Of course, I get a lot of complimentary mail too like this one comes from weighty Yes, whitey now I couldn't help but think when he signed it whitey That there'll be any number of snowflakes and social justice warriors that will be offended by that or at least he'll be judged In fact, I understand there are some websites out there where they post a list of names that are get this no longer politically or socially Acceptable to name your pets. Hmm. Can you guess which ones they are man? Am I glad I'm here in Latin America Hey, I can imagine someday you get a knock at the door and there's some government official standing there telling you you have to change

[08:07] The name of your dog or get a fine or go to jail or maybe they'll take your dog or cat away and put them in A foster home until you put in your requisite hours of counseling, but I digress man. Did I digress anyway? Our buddy whitey wrote an email and he says Ola Danjani I just listened to the very first five minutes of your very first podcast and the very last five minutes of your last podcast Then he says that'll do it. I got it. That's all I need to hear Hmm, by the way great tunage at the beginning of the show then he says all bad jokes aside Johnny I wanted to drop you a quick line to tell you how much I enjoyed expat Eddie's letter in the story You told recently about his quote domestic problems unquote. Hope he'll regale us with another story soon

[08:55] Then he says Johnny. I also really enjoyed the last captain mango episode, too You've got a great way of telling stories that tease us up front a little meandering along the way on the related topics and then Getting back to the real story Your discussion also on shipping container homes was very interesting, too I'd like to check out your buddy's hotel next time we get down to Lake Atit land in Guatemala Anyway, keep up the great work Johnny and stay he uses the a word here awesome To get that hey, but there does seem to be some light at the end of the street slang tunnel You know two of my least favorite filler words that would be awesome and dude Thanks for that lurch Thought he was dead

[09:42] Anyway, I seem to be hearing those two feeble words less and less these days You never know what's gonna pop up in their place. So we'll see. Hey now listen to this speaking of boots on the ground stories They have an actual moral Yesterday. Yes, just yesterday got a phone call from a friend of mine living down here in Latin America, too Not so far away from me fact. He's a Bitcoin Millionaire, you know, it's heartening but very strange to find out that quite a few of my seminar attendees are Bitcoin millionaires Or let's just say as early adopters. They really cashed in anyway yesterday one such guy had a flat tire He's got a big old American truck. And wouldn't you know it didn't have a spare and believe it or not? He's not carrying insurance on his vehicle either. He says he'll get around to it like so many gringos do

[10:29] Anyway, I pulled up to his gated guarded community. It's a very wealthy one. It's called Sausalito sound familiar it should cuz it's a direct ripoff copy of a famous little US town right off, San Francisco Now this is a gated guarded community for the extraordinarily wealthy That means lots of scumbag politicians are living there. I know I've met a few I'd say minimum a lot size maybe two acres with only about 50 houses in the whole neighborhood each one a mansion I'd say there isn't a single one under 6,000 square feet. Yep There's shiny high-end late model cars up and down the street and everyone except our gringo friend The only gringo in the hood has multiple bodyguards multiple gardeners and maids

[11:18] I'd say a smaller house here probably runs around a million bucks. That would mean two or three million in the States Anyway, I pulled up to the guard shack at this gated guarded community How is the third vehicle in line waiting to get in you know the driller? Maybe you don't you pull out your driver's license Just stick it into a little slot which takes a photo of the front and back of it Then the guard will ask you which house and family you're visiting He'll call them and get the okay before he lets you through by the way I always advise gringos and expats who want to remain anonymous or as anonymous as you possibly can and believe me you do Have a second chance at regaining your private life But it does take a little planning like for example, you're gonna find throughout Latin America There are all kinds of gated subdivisions not to mention businesses and government buildings that you'll end up visiting

[12:03] That means if you give me your real passport or driver's license They'll photograph it and you'll lose your privacy and anonymity as you get into more and more databases Just like up in the states and don't forget you'll have to give up that information if you get a utility hookup Get a cell phone rent a place or get internet service now you can do all that and still remain quite anonymous if You plan ahead and do like so many wise expats and get yourself an international Driver's license and have it made without your last name on it. Just your first and middle name Then you can use that one all day long when asked for ID. For example, suppose your name is William Harvey Kent Well, you go online look up international driver's license companies Download the forms pay your money probably 30 to 50 bucks and when you fill out the part of the name and the address on that

[12:52] Card skip your last name. Just have William Harvey and put down an address. That's nowhere near We were actually living now in actuality you're kind of pulling a fast one But it's not illegal because here in Latin America People generally have four names the first name middle name last name and mother's maiden name But down here, there are lots and lots of forms and documents where there's no space to print a giant four word name By the way, some Latin people have two middle names. So there would be five words to the name Anyway here in Latin America, even some drivers licenses won't have room for four long names much less five So anyway, if you have an international driver's license, that's only got your first name and your middle name on it That's perfectly fine here in Latin America And if you get pulled over or need to show that license it is your name

[13:38] You know a good part of it Anyway, by the way, you can play all kinds of games with that and still be legal For example, if your name is Charles Harvey Kent and let's say your mother's last name is Miles You could have your international driver's license made out to say Charles Harvey Miles Again perfectly legal here in Latin America and technically that is your name or at least most of it so as you can see there are countless games you can play in that department and still keep your privacy and Anonymity very much intact However, if you don't mind having your real dads collected at every little guard shack office in government building Well do like the Latins do which brings me to another story within a story again Just yesterday a new lady expat said to me Johnny You know, I went and bought a burner phone the other day and they asked me for a copy of my passport

[14:25] Well, I didn't want to do that. But that was the only way I was gonna get the phone Then I said as nicely as I could and I'm not you see that nice. I said you have incomplete information young lady Here's how it should and could have went down if you're gonna buy a phone Pay as you go burner or smartphone or paying on a contract Whatever company you're gonna choose and there's four or five of them down here The big ones being T go clado and movie star if you go into one of their sanctioned offices They're gonna ask you for your passport Every single time or if you're a local or a gringo with residency They'll ask for your DPI and then I'll make a copy of it Well, you know in the interest of privacy and anonymity, you don't want to do that unless you absolutely have to well You don't absolutely have to here's the trick

[15:11] Every big shopping mall and in all the business districts They have their main offices of those companies that I was telling you about and the truth Is almost all fresh green gringo sink they have to go to one of those stores to get themselves a contract or a burner phone Well, you know what? You don't ever have to step into one of those places Instead do what most locals do go to one of the thousands of little tien des or kiosks with the colored phone symbol Logos posted outside the big three again Moby star tego and claro or claro as newly arrived green gringos often pronounce it So there are thousands of independents selling all makes and models of phones and sim cards not to mention They'll often be selling chicharron's tortillas tequila

[15:56] Which is junk food beer eggs fireworks pirated cds and lottery tickets, too So what's the difference if you buy a phone or sim chip from them or an actual phone store? Well, they're rather unsophisticated. So they won't ask you for your dpi identification card or passport Why because they're just corner vendors They don't have copy machines or a way to take your passport and ship your debts off to the phone company parent office I know what you're thinking. How is it possible that they are so lenient and the phone company office so strict? Well, here's what happens when you buy a phone or chip from them The phone company will still try to grab your debts As soon as you load it up with any kind of minutes at all, you'll get a text message

[16:42] It'll say please punch in your dpi identification number and your phone chip will be activated Now notice they didn't say your passport number. Well, that's because especially when you're off the grangle tourist trail The form of identity that all latins use is that little dpi card now If you aren't a resident, you don't have a dpi number just a passport number So what do you do? Do you give up? Are you sol? Well, here's another trick you only learn if you're down here and you know a little bit of spanish Everyone with a dpi card has an individual number between eight and fifteen digits long depending on which latin country you're in Almost always they're all numbers. No letters. For example, Ecuador's got 10. Costa Rica's got nine. Guatemala's got 13 digits

[17:30] Sounds a lot of problems So that means when you put that new sim chip into that new little burner phone And it asks you in a text message to put in your dpi number and you haven't got one Well, you know some expats will go to greater lengths than others to maintain their anonymity So what's that mean? Well surprise surprise you pump in the right amount of digits and it works You'll get a text message that'll say congratulations success in spanish And now you can start using your phone now Do notice when you buy a phone or a sim chip at one of those little kiosks You'll get a receipt. They always give you a receipt and they'll ask you your name And who really knows what they're gonna do with that name if they're collecting it or if they're just gonna toss it at the end

[18:16] Of the month, that's your chance to play another little name game with them Just in case, you know However, like I said, if you don't mind giving up your name and debts to every tom dick and Julio that asks for it Go ahead have at it. But I think most of you are smarter than that How about this some expats and gringos? I know have remained off the radar a long long time when they have to register for something official like getting a utility service Or cable tv modem router internet service, whatever now, this might sound devious and it is in a way But many of these gringos and expats will use the dpi number Of their gardener nanny chauffeur or cleaning lady now as devious says this might sound Since you're not telling your employee or ex employee that you're using their id to get yourself

[19:03] For example a burner phone you could say that's the gringo instigated version of latino identity theft expat Eddie calls it identity theft libiano. That's identity theft light The fact is you don't even have to be underhanded like that at all All you have to do is give your maid or cleaning lady maintenance guy or gardener 25 bucks and send them down to a local kiosk tell them to get a phone for you They'll buy it stick to chip in and put in their own dpi number. They don't care In fact, i've never met a single latin america who had any privacy issues at all Like I mentioned in the previous show they'll give up their name dpi number passport email home address business location You name it they'll give that stuff up in a heartbeat Especially if it's required to win a pizza or a happy meal Talk about living in the moment. They don't think two minutes ahead

[19:52] And of course some gringles and expats take advantage of that naivety Bottom line since big brother is very weak here in latin america And latin's are in the very early stages of being monitored and cataloged They don't realize the dangers and what it's leading up to but we know man. Do we know? Now i'm not recommending you pull a fast one and use your cleaning ladies dpi number to buy a sim chip or internet service Though some expats will oddly enough and for the reasons mentioned previously if for example You just came right out and asked your cleaning lady if you could borrow her dpi number to buy a phone chip or whatever 99 times out of 100 she'd give it to you with a smile And when she does I suggest you buy her a happy meal and a pizza

[20:39] Oh, and here's a really useful tip buy yourself a cheap burner phone and set it up in your kitchen Give that number to the guard check the cleaning lady your help and to any person or business You're going to have some dealings with like let's say the tv or washing machine repair guy Why because you don't want repair guys and one-off people you're dealing with to have your personal phone number Because you know lower middle class and poor latins get their phones stolen all the time Remember they're taking the chicken bus and that's a favorite happy hunting ground of petty thieves And when that happens the thief will then have your number but where were we? Oh, yeah I was in my car waiting to go past the guard station in a very high-end latin subdivision called Sausalito

[21:25] Anyway, there were three other cars in front of me All of us waiting to show our ids and get in past the guard and the line was just not moving That's when I noticed in front of the lead car was a pickup truck From the local power and electric company had a couple of hard hat guys in the cab Small fiberglass ladder in the back So these guys were stuck at the very front of the line dealing with the guards and no one was going anywhere That was when I got a call from my gringle friend the guy I was going to help with the tire He said where are you? I said i'm at the front gate trying to get in I said, I don't know what's wrong here But there's an electric company truck haggling with the guards holding up the whole line Been there for 15 minutes now and my friend said oh, no, not again. And I said, what do you mean? Not again

[22:13] He said well i've seen this thing before you see if you don't pay your electric bill for three months or more There'll be a cutoff order So the electric company truck will come go to the guard gate. The guard will call the house meanwhile The owner has been notified a number of times on his smartphone or by email that the truck is coming They'll give you the date and some of those house owners will play the game of not answering the phone and the guards You know have their orders if you show up at the gate and they call the house and no one answers They just don't let you pass Now can't you see the irony in this i'm at one of the highest end subdivisions in the whole country Cheapest house two or three million bucks Every one of these owners has a bunch of luxury cars porches hummers couple of gardeners maintenance guys cleaning ladies the works

[23:02] Yet they routinely get three or four months behind on their electric and utility bills So much so that the utility companies come and try to shut them off In fact, my gringle friend said just a few weeks ago They tried to shut the power off to the house next door to him And he was talking to one of the electric company guys and he said they had three cutoff notices that day In that particular subdivision now remember there's only 50 or so houses in the whole community And they're gonna cut off three in one day Which again proves that point that i've been saying over and over again that it's all about the show Doesn't seem to matter how much money a latin person has they spend or I should say overspend so much on the show That they routinely get far far behind on those routine payments like electric water maintenance garbage pickup

[23:50] And as I mentioned in a recent previous show They're consistently if not callously late in paying their own help Which begs the question how much loyalty would you have to your employer if he pulled that on you? Well, I can't help but think that for some that would be like planting the seeds for sabotage or revenge Which is why so many of us long-term gringos and expats believe when you hear stories about the help and others Stealing from wealthier people or even being extorted or even experiencing kidnapping threats You might want to believe in some cases. Anyway that there's a cosmic payback going on Hey, i'm not a tin foil sombrero kind of guy, but sometimes the universe reshuffles the deck if you know what I mean

[24:36] All right Here's some breaking news This article says you're on the cusp whether you know it or not of being robbed and it's approved by the securities exchange commission of the u.s Turns out a new us regulation allows your ira custodian To freeze all the money and assets in your account if that's what's required to save your financial institution If it's in trouble, in fact the u.s. Government supports this theft They're calling it by the little known mandate money market reform Man, is that not scary? However, the good news is you've heard of self-directed or checkbook iras, right? You can hold assets like gold land and property outside of the u.s and still keep them in your ira

[25:23] Well, guess what? There are now for the very first time Bitcoin iras. Yep Just ponder that if you think bitcoin and the other cryptocurrencies are just a fad All right. Let's see if I can squeeze my seminar info into less than one minute here Yes, if you sign up now, you can still get in on those early bird discounts for my january 2018 Expat insider seminar that'll be from the 6th through the 11th of january Though I highly suggest when you come for this seminar You should add four days to the front end or the back end of the seminar dates to take advantage of those 100 boots on the ground pre and post seminar trips if you're looking for business ideas once you get down you can't do better than that So to check out the seminar itinerary as well as the early bird discounts

[26:11] Just go to www.thenewexpat.com And the info for the two john gulf trips are around the new expat.com too And for those of you who just can't make it down to the seminar The next best way to get your plan b ducks lined up is to take my nine hour expat essentials course Check it out by watching my free introductory video at expat plan b.com Oh, and don't forget if you sign up for my expat insider seminar you and I will be doing a one-on-one phone or skype consult By the way, why do you think my phone consults are so popular? I've done over a couple hundred of them Well, that's an easy one. Everyone's a bit different and their wants and needs will vary For example, some expat gonna bees and wannabes are absolutely convinced. They'll want to live on or near a very nice beach

[26:59] Others say they want to live in the highlands. They don't care about water, but they want a view of mountains or volcanoes Some want to have pets even big ones like horses others want to homestead or be completely off the grid Some have kids and want to be close to a helicopter school Others have a pension or social security and they want to fade into the sunset margarita in one hand a cuban cigar or Duby in the other hey, you know, there's lots of baby boomers coming down and some of them want to relive their childhood, you know Never a deadhead myself, but to each his own south of the border This is the expat files living in latin america If you want me to help you out with your own plan b just schedule a one-on-one consult Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com

[27:45] And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan b from right up there in the states go to www.expatplanb.com And check out my three videos see ya nos vemos