#708 – Plan B for Expats in Latin America: Residency, Citizenship, and Legal Strategies

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America the show that tells you just what it's like to live Work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Hey, you know, we're always talking about how it's really necessary to get a plan B That's your best insurance policy when the big reset button gets pushed up north and it will soon Hey, you don't have to believe me. Just check out the alternative media sites

[00:46] Anyone with an IQ over room temperature knows something big and bad is coming However, that would leave out some of the 21st century's most beloved illiterates You know like Bush jr. And that Cardassians Anyway, one of the first steps to getting that plan B going is getting boots on the ground, right? Which is why I host my expat insider seminars to give people a couple of years Head-start on that plan B and to give them a network of connections personal and professional To make the transition all that much easier and you also know the next step to getting that plan B in place After getting adequate boots on the ground preferably off or slightly off the gringo tourist trail Is to narrow down your Latin countries to your favorite or most convenient and apply for temporary or permanent residency?

[01:32] That's the key, you know get residency first and then move on to nationality and passport that way no matter What happens up in the first world and no matter how desperate big brother and uncle Sam get to suck you back into the system And cheer you like a sheep. You can just flip in the finger and say nope. I'm not having any of that I happen to be a 100% citizen of another country too. And that's that However, if you only have one first world passport Canadian American, whatever You'll never be able to escape big brother maniacs the tentacles will always be wrapped around you So yes, the object is to get a second passport Some people even get a third and fourth, but that's not necessary Just one extra nationality is perfectly adequate and it really could and probably will be a lifesaver for you now in a passion

[02:18] I mentioned that you can outright buy a passport legally, but it's always over a hundred thousand bucks Sometimes up to a half a million. Yep. I know it sounds dodgy Why wouldn't it buying a passport outright, but the whole process is legal. Yep, wouldn't you know it? It's all about money Even the US and Canada will give a person a passport if he comes into the country with a fortune I believe that's how years ago that pustulant maggot bag George Soros got his second nationality He now holds a US passport, you know, most people don't know it But if he stepped foot in some countries, he'd be immediately arrested and held up on criminal charges and put on trial He's a wanted man. Did you know that? Well, they don't talk about that in the mainstream. Do they just for starters? He was convicted of insider trading in France

[03:05] Thailand has him down as an international economic war criminal Putin says he becomes to Russia He'll be jailed for life. And if he shows up in Israel, he'll be tried for war crimes He had up in the states. They kiss his ass up and down and treat him like royalty. I don't get it But where were we? Oh, yeah talking about buying a legal passport Yep It can be done and there are dozen or so countries where you can just buy your way right into residency and citizenship By the way, can you guess the biggest group of foreign nationals buying passports these days? Well, that would be rich Chinese businessmen, of course makes sense, huh since it's a communist country And they know the hammer could come down at any one of them at any time So if you got big money, just pick a country that's fairly stable one

[03:50] You'd like to live in make enough investments and you're in you're a national you got a passport But most of us are not that lucky you're rich So we have to do it the old-fashioned way that is apply for temporary or permanent Residency in a foreign country and wait out a certain period of time usually five to seven years And then we'll be awarded nationality status and a passport for the rest of us There are lots of hoops to jump through and it's that old game of hurry up and wait First do you apply for temporary or permanent residency? hopefully permanent residency Because that cuts around two years off the process to get your passport and as for most Latin countries The application processes are slightly different. There are variations, but not much However, certain conditions rules and regulations could change at any moment

[04:36] Which is why I get so many different emails from people saying Johnny I don't believe it when I go to Latin Consulate or embassy websites I get conflicting information and when I check some of the expat blogs their information is all over the place, too Who's right? Who can you believe? Within their own government agencies. They don't even get it right to which I can only say hey welcome to Latin America You have to love a country. That's so chaotic and disorganized that one hand does not know what the other hand is doing Man, that's a country. I want to be an ain't no big brother in sight Like for example in the case of getting a police or good conduct report from your home state or country That's required when you're applying for permanent or temporary residency And this was pretty easy and straightforward just a couple of years ago when you just go down to your sheriff's or police department

[05:22] And ask for a good conduct report But now since more and more Americans have the idea about leaving the states in fact I mentioned a number of times that there are over one and a half million Gringos living in Mexico at least part of the year So naturally the US government is putting pressure on Latin governments to make the residency process more difficult all the time And generally little by little Latin country immigration services comply Why because the US government is a great cash cow and they give millions if not billions of dollars to Latin governments every year They hand out dough for all kinds of Latin infrastructure projects as well as so-called poverty and education Programs too then there's that trillion-dollar war on drugs that was lost a long time ago and all along the way Latin politicians get their skim So when the US government says throw up a few more hopes and make it a bit more difficult

[06:12] For Gringos to get their residency in your country. They say see clado no, I probe limo Hefei, but since Latin governments are so slow lethargic corrupt and chaotic and of course on double manana time nothing ever gets done in a hurry Which is much to our advantage, you know Even though when you first get down that kind of stuff will drive you nuts The longer you're down here you realize that's the thing that gives you all that extra freedom that you lost up in the states a long Long time ago and you know when fresh green Gringos complain about that to me I always say well, you know, that's the reason you don't have to pull 12 damn permits and have 16 Inspections like you do in New York and California just to build a doghouse And that's when sometimes you'll see a light bulb go off the net Gringo's head

[07:00] Suddenly they get it the smart ones. Anyway now normally as a rule bureaucracies slog along they get better thicker and more Dunderheaded for example the move by some Latin countries recently to require an FBI Report for the residency process, which is much more complicated than getting a simple police or sheriff's report But once in a while once in a great while they actually do something to streamline a bureaucratic process Though mostly unwittingly, I'm sure and that's exactly what happened just about a month ago in Guatemala Turns out the Guatemala immigration department made a slight change that makes the whole thing much easier. How'd that happen? Surely a mistake, but I'm not telling well, that's great news if you're applying for temporary or permanent residency in Guatemala, but

[07:47] Unfortunately, if you happen to be going through that process and collecting your paperwork in your own state Right now in the midst of that new change Well, that could and did lead to some problems with one particular person who just sent me an email Describing the craziness and the delays she encountered just because she happened to apply for her residency at the very moment Guatemala immigration changed the rules on the way you get your documents certified and authenticated So now I'm gonna read some excerpts from her emails So you can see what kind of stuff can happen and why like you've heard me say many times before You should set aside a month to get all your paperwork in order up in your own state Though admittedly some gringos and expats have actually been able to do the whole process in one day

[08:34] And one cool guy from New York City named Larry was able to do the whole thing Whipping around to various government offices on his bicycle though That's rare and certainly due to a combination of great luck and amazing timing because as you'll see from this email Government people don't seem to work full days like regular people plus it seems that particular government slug You're supposed to speak to is often not in the office when you show up now for the moment We're talking about getting residency in Guatemala here You know a lot of people who come down to my expat insider seminars kill two birds with one stone By coming to the seminar and applying at the very same time for temporary or permanent residency now a lot of people say Johnny How expensive is it to go through a lawyer and get the residency process going?

[09:20] Well, I can tell you this if you're longtime gringo living down here in Latin America. Your Spanish is really good You could do it by yourself. Yes, it'll probably take you six months to a year to get all the lines conquered You'll spin your wheels all the time. There'll be endless amounts of frustration I heard that story of a hundred times from people who say Johnny I'm not gonna pay a lawyer when I speak Spanish and I got old time in the world Well, go ahead give it a try smarty pants But do bring a lot of reading material and audiobooks because you'll be standing for hours and hours in sweaty lines and bouncing back and forth From this in that government building. However, you'll save money over having a lawyer do it That's for sure, but you'll have to dish out some dough at various government offices And you'll have to get certain papers translated by a registered translator government registered translator

[10:07] That is so if your Spanish is really good and you want to take a crack at it You probably can get your residency process completely done for around two to five hundred bucks Well, we're at it Let me give you some prices from lawyers who are experts at getting gringos and expats permanent and temporary residency For example in Dominican Republic, you can find a lot of bilingual immigration lawyers there ranging from around 2,500 to 4,000 bucks and for Panama 2,500 to 5,000 bucks Remember we're talking about local lawyers fees for getting permanent or temporary residency In Guatemala, you're looking at anywhere between 1,200 and 2,500 bucks Now I'm talking about the prices for lawyers that it can actually do the job with a pretty decent turnaround time Oh and no matter what lawyer you get there will be delays

[10:53] You know what? It is manana time down here and you'll be dealing with lots and lots of bureaucrats lines and paper pushing government slugs You actually won't be dealing with them. But your lawyer and his staff will on behalf of you That's the stuff you won't see that'll be going on behind the scenes Sure, you'll show up at this and that government building to give a fingerprint and sign a signature But that's about it Of course your Latin lawyer will set that up and hold your hand through it and you won't be standing in big long lines Now the thing is and you got to be aware of this You could be sitting in a gringle bar in your chosen Latin country And you'll struck up a conversation and you just might hit upon the topic of residency and how much should cost for a local lawyer Now I've seen this happen You'll talk to a gringo and he'll say what you're paying fifteen hundred or twenty five or thirty five hundred

[11:40] You got to go to this lawyer. You can do it for eight hundred That's when it's time for you to open your mouth and say so it's eight hundred or a thousand whatever Man, that sounds like a great deal. Tell me but is that the lawyer you use to get your residency? Aha, that's when you'll generally snag him because nine times out of ten. He'll say who me no I don't actually have my residency yet But I'm almost there. I'm working on it or he might say I have my residency But I didn't use a lawyer. I had my Latin girlfriend walk me through Then he'll shake his head and say hmm. I don't know man. I'm sure you can find a lawyer down here That could do it for eight hundred man I've heard that story a million times and guess what get ready for the gouge man Because when you get a lawyer referral from a gringo bar, you are just asking for trouble though

[12:29] It's true. Whatever quote you might get from a lawyer. You can always find another lawyer who's a bit cheaper Here's the key. You want to go to a lawyer who does gringo an expat residences on a fairly regular basis But why you say what could be so hard about that? Well, you know Latin America is all about who you know and who you grease and if your lawyer does them on a regular basis He and his staff will be hanging around the immigration offices quite a bit That means he's bought a few lunches and paid for a few coffee breaks for the slugs that work there and he gets Preparational treatment and because of the slugs the chaos the disorganization and the long lines at immigration That can make all the difference in the world. In fact, just the other day. I was speaking to a lady Latin lawyer There's not too many of them, you know Remember, this is happening way off the gringo tourist trail and I said hey you've been practicing for what ten years or so now

[13:15] How many residencies have you processed? She said one my husband She's married to a Canadian so I can tell you this is not the lawyer You want to go to if you're looking to get your residency processed That means she's got no inside context to lean on if she needs something to hurry or some problems come up Hey, not that she can't do it But I guarantee you it's gonna take twice as long and she'll have to bone up on all the things that happened since she did Her last one years and years ago because like I said, the rules and regs are always changing then I asked her What would she charge if a gringo needed residency and she said, I don't know I have to think about it Nope, not a good sign. Even if you can save a couple hundred bucks You don't want to be with a Latin lawyer who's reinventing the wheel on your time and your dime

[14:02] So if you're doing residency, that's the very first question you'll ask your lawyer How many have you successfully processed and how long from start to finish? Alright, so let's read this email comes from a young lady who came to one of my expat insider seminars By the way, she's coming back down in January as a repeat offender. She says hi Johnny your procedure for applying for Residency is well done and I feel confident I could get the documentation together Okay, it's me again Johnny for a clarification when someone does a plan B phone consultation with me or comes down to one of my seminars I send him a general report a step-by-step procedure on how to apply for residency in most Latin countries and in that report I give a real-world example of a person going through that process in Guatemala since that's where you can kill two birds with one stone if you're coming down to my seminar

[14:52] Anyway, our email goes out to say however Johnny I ran into some problems which substantially delayed the process. Good thing I started early. Here are the gory details. Oh, and by the way, she's applying for permanent residency That means she needs two documents the police report or sheriff's good contact report and proof of having a recurring monthly income of at least a thousand bucks a month for a single person now we're talking about Guatemala here and for that step Depending on which Latin country you're applying for residency in that could be anywhere from 800 bucks a month to 2,500 a month. Anyway, if you don't have a document that proves you have that kind of recurrent income every month You can't directly apply for permanent residency But have to apply for temporary residency when you apply for temporary residency in most Latin countries

[15:38] You don't have to prove an income But you do need a police report and a reference or sponsorship from a local Latin lawyer Then normally after you've had temporary residency for two years or more. You can instantly go to permanent residency That's when the clock starts ticking that five years generally to get your nationality and passport Anyway, she says Johnny obtained my two documents proof of income and police report on August 31st I sent everything first-class certified mail including the return envelopes to myself so that I can track the packages Then she says my state North Carolina's Secretary of State could only authenticate my criminal record background check Because it was already certified as a true copy by the county clerk as part of a $25 fee

[16:25] I didn't realize I had to get the second document my income statement notarized as a true copy as well So I did that and sent it back for authentication Then the North Carolina Secretary of State office called to inform me that Guatemala had just signed on to the Hague Convention and are now accepting Documents that have been apostilled that's apostilled a P O S T I L L E D Instead of having documents certified and authenticated as they did in the past. All right, it's me again, Johnny That's the new change. I was telling you about now getting a document apostilled really simplifies the process And you'll see why in a second Like I said that just happened about a month ago So not too many people know about it By the way, a few other Latin countries have signed on to this too, but others haven't anyway until about a month ago

[17:15] You had to get your documents authenticated at your local state's State Department. I know sounds weird That means for example with the police report first you get it notarized Then you send it to your Secretary of State office You look on the internet and you find out how to do that They would authenticate it and send it back to you. Then you'd have to send it to the nearest Guatemalan consulate For example, if you're from Wisconsin, that would be in Chicago Then even though the Guatemalan or Latin consulate you're dealing with is on US territory first world territory like Chicago They're on manana time. So they fumble around with it. Sometimes lose track of it Don't get back to you and sometimes lose it completely Which is why until about a month ago You'd have to be on them all the time or any of those things or worse could happen So when Guatemala or any country signs on to the apostol agreement surprise surprise

[18:06] You can skip that last step altogether Instead you send your notarized document police report income statement, whatever to your state's State Department I know that sounds redundant, but we're talking about government here, right? Yep, believe it or not your state actually has a Department of State within it In fact, if you go to your own state's website, you'll see there's an actual section there to have documents authenticated or apostoled That's where they give you all the information on how to send it and how much dough to send in because this stuff costs a few Bucks. So anyway, the thing to remember is now in Guatemala as with a couple other Latin countries You no longer have to go through that Authentication process sending it to the nearest Latin American consulate in the US and believe me that really is a big thing It streamlines the process and eliminates a lot of problems and errors while in the hands of those latin lardasses that staff the consulates

[18:57] And wouldn't you know what our emailer had some bad luck? Unfortunately, she sent out her documents in the middle of the changeover and here's the rest of it She says the North Carolina Secretary of State's office called to inform me that Guatemala had just signed on to that new agreement and they were now Accepting documents that were apostilled the North Carolina Secretary of State's office wanted to know if I wanted my income statement done with a pastille for the new requirement or Authenticated the old way my choice because the two documents the police report and income statement had to match Well as luck would have it I took the wrong guess and had him do the old way with the old seals and Authentications now Johnny under the old way the Guatemalan consulate website said I had to send my documents to the

[19:45] Consulate they had in Atlanta where they do legalization of documents for Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina and South Carolina So off they went be a certified mail. It took a full 10 days to get there Wow, the post office kept trying to deliver it outside of business hours from 8 to 3 Monday through Friday, so they just couldn't get a signature Hey me Johnny gun you get it. They work from 8 till 3 typical government lard-ass slug business hours, huh Then she says unfortunately the documents were just sitting at the post office and they stopped attempting to deliver them In fact the documents were not delivered until I had called the US Postal Service customer service and spent More than an hour on the phone with them

[20:31] I put in a read delivery request online and spoke with a nasty Supervisor at the post office branch which by the way also has limited working hours Big surprise, huh? Then she says finally they did deliver it though I waited a week while the Guatemalan consulate in Atlanta just sat on it Then after that week with nothing happening. I started the phone calls to the Guatemalan consulate They list local numbers on the website, you know, but sometimes a call would be answered in Guatemala City What's up with that? I was told different things by different people Then they said I had to send my paperwork to Raleigh, North Carolina I told them to just send the documents back to me so I could proceed

[21:16] Oh, and I was also informed that I was talking to a mobile Consulate and that the one person that could help me was already at the airport on a Friday afternoon At 2 30 presumably on her way home to Guatemala for the weekend So they finally did send my documents back to me. And when I opened the envelope, there was a very very light Barely legible Xerox copy of a flyer announcing they had opened a consulate in Raleigh, North Carolina back in June And now they are handling Legalizations for North Carolina in South Carolina now, they tell me turns out surprise surprise the Guatemalan consulate website Had outdated information and probably still does However, I was also informed by the rep in Guatemala that with the apostol situation now, you no longer have to get it legalized

[22:07] That's a consulate Once it's apostol you skip that step and send the documents directly to your lawyer in Guatemala where he will get the residency process started So at that point I decided to start all over again in the last week of October I obtained new documents sent them back to the North Carolina Secretary of State to be Apostilled so the documents should be ready for the Guatemalan immigration authorities Without ever dealing with that pain in the butt Guatemalan consulate up in the states Then she says I presume and hope that my lawyer in Guatemala is up to date on this stuff and she says Johnny now I guess you'll have to revise your instructions a bit to reflect the apostol change It will be much easier for everyone in the future

[22:55] I'm sure but I personally paid the price by being caught up right in the middle of the whole transition You know, it's a fact that every foreign consulate or embassy is not actually on foreign soil at all when you're there You're not for example in the US anymore. You're in a piece of the original homeland That means in a Guatemalan embassy You're actually in Guatemala that tiny little embassy is considered part of Guatemala not the US same with all embassies and consulates on US soil Or any country's soil whether they're Peru Bolivia, Russia, whatever when you walk in you're on their soil That's why it's possible. For example, if you're a fugitive or a wanted person in a country You can go to someone else's consulate or embassy and ask for asylum You know, that's how Julian Assange got his asylum in London

[23:41] He went over to the Ecuadorian embassy and stepped in there to give him asylum In fact, I understand the people at the Ecuadorian embassy are pretty sick of having him around because well, he's a slob In fact, according to the Ecuadorian ambassador there Assange never cleans up after himself He leaves dirty plates around even dirty underwear Blasting techno music at all hours. He says he's forever leaving his food takeout containers in the embassy's Reception area so people get smacked by the odor of curry the minute they walk in Nice one Julian Then it says he eats other people's food from the fridge and leaves his dirty socks drawn on the embassies main staircase And in almost five years, he's never replaced the toilet paper though Everyone else does and get this the ambassador says yesterday

[24:28] I was having a meeting with Scottish Secretary of State and Julian just wandered into the conference room Propped his bare feet up on the table and started clipping his toenails Oh nice one Julian The ambassador said he had to stop himself from gagging when a small yellow toenail clipping just missed the rim of his water glass Then the ambassador advised Assange He said we're all sharing the same space here But at least put on a shirt if you're gonna walk right through a negotiation session Especially when there are leaders of nations present Oh and get this staff members at the consulate have gently tried to hint that Assange should be looking for a new place to live By pointing out there are lots and lots of nice embassies nearby Well, Julian sounds like you've overstayed your welcome at embassy by about five years, huh?

[25:19] All I can say is the guy must be going stir-crazy stuck in that tiny place for so long But I digress man did I digress you can't make this stuff up if you want a copy of that article shoot me an email But where were we? Oh, yeah Just note once again if you have to have any kind of interaction with a Latin embassy or consulate up in the States Canada or wherever once you step inside you're officially in Latin America Then again, some people say if you visit my jammy you're officially in Latin America, too Anyway for all the Latin countries that signed on to that apostille agreement That's great news for anyone looking to get residency in one of those countries Why because you'll never have to deal with one of their brain-dead consulates or embassies again However, once you're down here in Latin America, you'll find all the government building staff with lazy ass bureaucrats on double manana time

[26:10] Which is why you don't want to deal with that yourself You'll want your lawyer and his staff to handle that stuff behind the scenes and they will So anyway, our lady friend after having more than a bit of bad luck and getting the timing all wrong Through absolutely no fault of her own, of course She did finally get all her paperwork together and is all set to go on her residency Oh and speaking of my upcoming January expat insiders seminar and in around Guatemala I'd like to mention that some people have asked me if I could hook them up with a roommate so they could share double occupancy No mixed genders, of course. Hey, we're all like-minded, but some are not that like-minded Anyway, if you're coming down as a single and you feel like hooking up with a roommate Just let me know that's a way to save an extra 500 bucks on top of the early bird discounts

[26:56] By the way, the early bird discounts will be ending on December 1st 2017 then the rate goes up 500 bucks to the regular price That gives you about three weeks to get on board and take advantage of those deals So just go to www.thenewexpat.com and click on the seminar link do check out the sign-up details And those famous John Galt pre and post seminar trips, too Also note if you want to stretch it out There's a three payment plan and of course if you just can't make the seminar or get boots on the ground yet Don't forget to sign up for my 9-hour expat essentials course. Just go to expatplanb.com This is the expat files living in Latin America If you want me to help you out with your own plan B Just schedule a one-on-one consult send me an email the expat files at gmail.com

[27:45] And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan B from right up there in the States go to www.expatplanb.com and check out my three videos. See ya nos vemos