#716 – The Expat Files: Border Challenges, Bitcoin, and Life in Cuba

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Hey, how about a little story? You know all the little stories I tell here on the expat files are unusual and can only happen here in Latin America Which is what makes them so interesting because you know, everyone who's listening to this program is ultimately thinking about moving here, right?

[00:47] I mean, that's your plan B initiative whether it happens to you or not is completely up to you and Circumstances whether under your control or beyond your control But in lieu of having actual boots on the ground here yourself You can always count on me to come through with some weird fantastic funny and well Outrageous stories and every one of them I guarantee will have a little moral or a lesson to be learned all with the intent of trying To stop you from stepping in the same potholes A lot of us green ringos and expats did when we first got down now You've heard me mention one of my very first expat insider seminar attendees who we affectionately referred to as Bitcoin Dan You longtime listeners heard me tell the story of how he and his new wife drove an RV all the way down from the socialist

[01:34] people's paradise of Canada That's how he grating Lee refers to it being that he was in the 60 or 70 percent tax bracket You know if you add it all together He's right and what you pay up in the States is not much less than that Anyway after many of his own wild and crazy adventures just getting that RV down here to Central America You wonder why anybody would ever try that in the first place by the way when people ask me how badly Border customs authorities shake you down when you drive a vehicle through well Dan's story is a good test case First of all when you drive any vehicle through you're a target because you've got US or Canadian first-world plates It's obvious everywhere you go that there's a gringo on board So take a guess which country gave him the biggest shake down at the border

[02:23] Remember he drove from Montreal down through the States Past the Mexican border and then through the Mexican Guatemala border now naturally from all you've heard about Mexico You'd say definitely the Mexicans shook him down. Well, that's true They shook him down a lot of times and he had some decoy computers on board to give away when he got pulled over But the first time it wasn't by the cops It was by an armed group of Mexican thieves in cars and motorcycles In fact, he said it was very strategic as soon as he passed the US Mexican border He was told the first Mexican police checkpoint. He'd come across was about 50 miles down into Mexico Now when she know it about halfway between the US Mexican border and the next checkpoint 50 miles away

[03:09] That group of Mexican thieves pulled alongside pointed some guns and said pull over Welcome to Mexico Benvenidos a Mexico and believe it or not. They didn't want anything from the trailer. Nothing big and bulky They just wanted money and they mount they said 200 cash now, of course, if he didn't give him 200 bucks They'd probably take everything but you have to know the Mexican cops are in on that kind of stuff all the way I mean exactly halfway between the next police stop they get pulled over So that was the first event and he got pulled over a few more times along the way So he kept getting nickeled and dined a hundred here hundred there usually surprised surprised from the Mexican cops themselves But he was ready for that. I'd warn people on couple of my shows Don't have anything of real value out in the open have a cheap phone cheap watch and maybe a decoy computer and oldie

[04:01] Laying around maybe on the backseat a computer is always a nice juicy item to grab They'll never know whether it's six months old or even five years old Of course, you can see why it's not a very good idea to drive your car through Mexico However, things completely changed once he hit the Mexico Guatemala border Like you heard me saying a past show the cops kind of turn into Barney Fife And since they see so few gringos coming through cuz Guatemala is way off the gringo tourist trail pulling over a gringo is kind of the highlight of a cops week or even month and you can bet you'll be the Subject of the conversation around the dinner table at night. Hey, guess what? I pulled over a gringo today Now Mexico's got a border with Belize, too I've been through that one a number of times now the cops and beliefs are not as laid-back as Latin cops

[04:49] first of all, it's an English-speaking country, so they've seen a lot of gringos a Lot of very wealthy and upscale gringos too because they've got those very nice coral island white sand beach Cays you've heard so much about and the cops there even though they're lazy dumbasses, too They know if they stop you they can detain you for a long long time even for nothing most of the time It's for nothing, but they'll take your papers and sit down in their cars for a half hour 45 minutes That is until you start waving the grants the Franklin's or the Benjamin's around However, you're not gonna see that in Honduras or Guatemala Salvador even Nicaragua though more so in Nicaragua these days because the gringos are piling in there, too But again when you're off the gringo tourist trail countries like Bolivia Paraguay

[05:36] Salvador Guatemala Honduras the cops pull over gringos so rarely man in most cases you can't believe how Genuinely friendly they are and glad to see ya What I mean is if you're down here off the gringo tourist trail long enough You'll really get to know what it feels like to be a B grade rock star You know like the bass player in a popular band Nobody knows his name or can even recognize him on an album cover But he gets preferential treatment free passes and invites to all the cool parties So anyway Bitcoin Dan once he got through the Mexican Guatemala border didn't get stopped once in Guatemala No police roadblocks pullovers or extortion attempts at all However in Mexico about every hundred miles or so by the way I think he got into three accidents on the way down small ones a couple little fender benders all settled without the cops

[06:26] 100 or so passing between hands no lawyers cops or insurance companies So back to the original question what country gave him the biggest border shakedown if you guessed Mexico That's logical, but you'd be wrong He said as it turns out as soon as he left Montreal and hit the US border The US border control officials went into his RV Rifled through his stuff for at least a half an hour and asked him a bunch of questions now You gotta remember this guy's traveling with his new wife He's the cleanest cut looking guy you ever saw plus he's sincere and one of the most polite guys You'll ever meet too remember this guy worked for Microsoft for a couple of years in fact. He was such a valuable programmer He said that every week. They'd fly him back and forth from Montreal to Silicon Valley

[07:16] So that he'd be able to spend weekends at home in Montreal not a bad gig huh, but guess what he quit To start his own company so anyway He said they gave more than the third degree when he hit the US border the US Mexican border wasn't that much fun either Big weights long lines and stuff a lot of street vendors and beggars pulling and tugging on you Man, don't you hate that but then again Latin America is a touchy feely society with a different idea of personal space than you're used to that's for sure Unfortunately the touchy feely hawkers and beggars converge in places where there are a lot of gringos and why is that well? That's where the money is right which is why I like being off the gringo tourist trail so much sure there are beggars

[08:01] I mean, there's beggars everywhere. Hey, Chicago's probably got 30,000 of them speaking of Chicago the other day I was driving around I saw Tienda, you know, they all have their own particular names was called Tienda Chicago Loop Tienda of course means little store now the Chicago thing I get but the loop who would know what the loop was Unless you live there and perhaps been kicked out or deported or not Because we're talking about a real scruffy rundown neighborhood here and the loop in Chicago. Well, that's first world high-end Anyway, the difference is even in the biggest Latin cities off the gringo tourist trail on the busiest corners is where there's a lot of backed up Traffic you'll see people selling stuff They'll be shilling their mops and toys and windshield wipers. And of course, they'll be the guys washing down your windshield

[08:53] But you see 95% or more these people are selling something So they're making a living if you want to call it that or survive it Then there's that tiny 5% that are begging maybe one or two people at a very busy street corner Usually a mom with a couple of kids strapped on her back. Then there's the ubiquitous old guy Pushing someone around in a wheelchair begging for money. See that everywhere But like I said, most of them are out there selling something even if it's candy bubblegum or homemade baked goods A lot of that too. Oh and there's street performers jugglers magicians acrobats fire breathers Yep, fire breathers and we're not talking from the chili peppers either. And just lately I've seen quite a few guys on street corners juggling Machete's not dull ones either cuz they'll slice a few things in front of you to prove it

[09:42] One my favorite is the guy that stands on the shoulders of another guy while he juggles for not three machetes That are get this on fire Cirque du Soleil eat your heart out I mean it some of these guys could be in Cirque except, you know, wrong place wrong time wrong language wrong country But actual beggars with their handout Just a tiny few However, once you're on the gringo tourist trail, man, begging is a racket They know especially new green gringos are a soft touch Now if you travel a lot in third-world countries You know when you land at an airport as soon as you walk out those big glass doors and you get that blast of tropical air And the taxis are out in front just one look and a couple of steps forward and you'll know whether that country's on or off

[10:31] The gringo tourist trail because you see if you're off the tourist trail No one's gonna rush you there won't be a little tribe of people following you around trying to push food Trinkets and t-shirts on you. Nope. There'll be no sad-looking moms shoving big-eyed snotty nose kids in your faces Begging for a handout. You just don't see that kind of stuff that airports way off the gringo tourist trail However, when you're on the gringo tourist trail look out By the way A lot of baggage switch scams going on when you first land in a gringoized area though some gringo tourists stay at deluxe First-class hotels, so they've got private shuttle service coming from their hotel But for most people they land get their bags venture out cautiously into the wave of sweaty masses

[11:16] That's when the taxi drivers start fighting over you and when they do look out for that baggage handoff switch Now it's never happened to me But I've talked to a few gringos who've had that nasty experience No fun when you first arrive and you lose a piece of luggage forever. But where were we? Oh, yeah Bitcoin Dan and his RV were delayed at the US Mexican border on the Mexican side But that's to be expected at any Latin land border crossing suddenly It's manana time and there's lots of paperwork bringing a car or a vehicle through the border But they didn't rifle through it like the US border cops did now You know when you hit the southern border of Mexico, you could go straight through to Guatemala or Belize I've done them both many times and by and large the Guatemalan cops

[12:03] Especially the ones out in the boonies are like Barney Fife. There's just so few gringos coming through They're happy to see one In fact more than happy at a routine police stop to bore you with the fact that cousin Tulios got a successful Drywall business and newer. Do you know him? He does good work So next time you've got a drywall job to look him up and tell him cousin. Yoko sent you Hmm. So you play along because well, he's a cop However, if you're driving from Mexico on through to Belize You'll find as a general rule a cop's a little more rude a little more Kurt a little more jaded a lot more angry and don't seem to like their jobs much and why is that well I know a couple of gringos who've lived a long time in Belize and they tell me since it's an English-speaking country

[12:49] And they've got those beautiful caves, you know those coral islands They get lots of gringo tourists and most all of them have money Well a lot more than any Belize and you know It's a very poor country and the cops who come across gringos with nice cars and a lot more money than they'll ever have Often use their power to squeeze you so even if your papers are a hundred percent in order They know add a police roadblock or stop They can detain you for as long as they feel like it and you know gringos and expats We're always in a hurry and the little Christmas New Year's birthday or whatever gift of 20 or 50 bucks We'll get you to the front of the roadblock post haste By the way, if you ever take a ride through Belize, you'll see some Extremely poor neighborhoods. It's no wonder why so many of them have a kind of a chip on their shoulder when they run up against

[13:37] a wealthy gringo in a nice car In fact, one expat police told me the fact that the Belizean speak English Though a big bonus for Americans tends to drive an even bigger wedge between the locals and the gringos Since unlike poor Latinos who don't understand English the Belizeans understand every comment complained and slur Gringos make inadvertently or not about the Belizeans their habits their country and their culture now I know that gringos living in a hot sweaty backward country can be edgy and irritable and often complain more than they should Mostly about things they can't change. Unfortunately in Belize the walls have ears in the rest of Latin America However, they don't speak English, which is why you could still be a big jerk in most of Latin America and Latins will still like you

[14:26] Hmm. So anyway back in around 2012 Bitcoin Dan came down to my seminar and you may have heard me say this before But after the seminar, he said Johnny I'm staying but I have to look for a place to rent in the meantime Can I park my RV out in front of your place just for a couple of weeks till I find a place myself Well that couple of weeks turned into four or five or even six months can't remember But here's what I do remember right around a month into it. He knocked on my door and said hey Johnny Listen, thanks for letting us stay outside in the RV And I really want to give you something for and I said no Dan It's no trouble and he handed me a little piece of paper with a barcode on it. I said, what's this? He said it's an address for a Bitcoin and I said a Bitcoin. What am I supposed to do with it?

[15:16] He said hold on to it because there's a chance a pretty good chance that someday It'll be worth a lot of money and I said, well, what do you mean? And he said well right now it's worth about 11 bucks, but there's a chance it could go up to now Don't laugh five or even ten thousand bucks or even multiples of that when the fiat currency systems start crashing And I said for one of them. He said yeah, just one now at that point I knew Dan was big into gaming. In fact, sometimes at two or three in the morning I'd see that ghostly flicker of a computer monitor screen at all hours He'd be gaming with people from all over the world now You see at that time Bitcoin was just starting to be used by gamers whose protocols had become so sophisticated That most all dedicated gamers would necessarily to have the advantage over other gamers have to buy more and more virtual

[16:08] Accessories like swords guns tanks spaceships armor ammo, whatever So gamers started using Bitcoin to buy accessories Much easier and faster to transfer that stuff around than dollars Anyway, so Dan gave me a Bitcoin at the time worth I think 11 bucks and now today I still have that Bitcoin and of course that was a pre fork Bitcoin it came long before any of the forks to Bitcoin gold or Bitcoin cash or now it's a Bitcoin diamond I hear and the value of that Bitcoin you could call it rent for keeping his RV outside for call it six months Would you believe over? $12,000 So the question is would you accept? $12,000 rent for someone to park their RV in front of your house for six months

[16:57] Hey, you know this kind of stuff could only happen in Latin America in the States You wouldn't be able to park and live with an RV in a residential neighborhood Someone would call the cops on you within a couple of days The homeowner would get a fine the RV owner would get a fine and they'd surely impounded Hey, you know if you live up in the States There are so many thousands and thousands of laws and regulations people commit at least three felonies a day and don't even know it But you knew it, right? So anyway at my upcoming January 2018 expat insider seminar None other than Bitcoin Dan will be given a couple hours spiel Anything and everything you wanted to know about the cryptocurrency world from a guy who let's face it Lives and breeds that stuff not to mention He's the very first person in the world to teach a cryptocurrency course at an accredited university and he's still doing it

[17:48] That's one of the added attractions if you come to my January expat insider seminar after all There's no hotter topic in the world in Bitcoin Oh, and by the way at our very last expat insider seminar in July There were a lot of very instructional cryptocurrency discussions Dan was hanging around at the seminar Of course, he was sort of leading those discussions, too As you might imagine and at the time around five months ago Bitcoin was hovering between 2,000 and 2,500 and after gathering up some of that information some of our attendees bought Bitcoin Right when they were at the seminar or at least made a arrangement to put in their orders to say the least They are very happy campers right now up at least 400% in five months. So then is it a bubble for sure?

[18:33] It's a bubble how big in the bubble blow before well, there's a huge correction Well, they're gonna be huge corrections all the time, but you know, there's some very big things in the works institutional investors are dying to get in but they have to find the vehicles and they are coming right along right down the Pike very shortly. So everybody asked a question how much higher well since I'm not the expert I guess you'll just have to come down to my January expat insider seminar and hear it from the horse's mouth Oh, and one last thing about that day Dan gave me that one Bitcoin. Hey, I didn't even have a Bitcoin wallet yet You know didn't even know what a Bitcoin wallet was or how to get one. Anyway, I said Dan. Thanks a lot for this Bitcoin can I ask you how you know this stuff's gonna go up in value and the rest of the world will catch on

[19:20] Well, he said I read the white paper from Shoshito both me and my brother did then he said the only thing that could really shut It down right now is if governments came in and banned it now I remember this was 2012 five years ago when Bitcoin was having all those little growing pains if you remember it was declared DOA That's dead on arrival at least nine times by professional financial gurus and pundits Oh, it got kicked back down nine or ten times All right But each time it came back stronger than ever and now like Dan said it's too big to kill But back to what he said, he said, you know, Johnny, I'm sure this thing's gonna go way up My brother says so too and I said well who's your brother cuz I'd never met him He said well, he's the only guy I know who's smarter than I am Hmm

[20:06] Anyway, if you want to catch up with the very most current state-of-the-art and crypto currencies come down to my expat insider seminar You know how to sign up. Don't you just go to the new expat comm website and click on Johnny's seminar link We're exactly a month away from launch So you've still got time and remember when you sign up you'll get an hour-long one-on-one phone call with me, too So we can discuss the seminar details or anything having to do with your own plan B All right Let's go into reverse for a second you know Cuba has been opened up to American tourism and then kick back on the gray list again, right and Lately, I've been seeing blogs and articles even getting emails for promotions from travel writers, etc People supposedly in the know telling me all about the wonders of living the expat life in Cuba

[20:51] Yeah, and you know what? None of them actually seem to be living there They've all visited a few times I've been there a few times myself and I'll tell you this you'll never learn the real Cuba unless you speak some Spanish and get out The tourist areas that means get out of Havana and Baradero Beach, which most gringles and expats Never seem to do so no matter what you've heard about Cuba and or whatever promotions are out there trying to sell you on The idea that you can actually live the good life in Cuba Well, I can tell you this unless you have a lot of money to Continuously hang out at four-star hotels and resorts. Yep. They've got a few and they're really expensive if however You're not independently wealthy and you have to make a living that is start a business or work to supplement your income down there

[21:43] Chances are you will end up regretting it That said I was recently sent this little blurb from a very knowledgeable gringo who spent a lot of time in Cuba I'll paraphrase and add my comments as usual This piece has the generous and kind title get this Cuba the worst piece of Communist dictatorship in the world. It starts. I couldn't get close to making it just 10 reasons. So here's 15 reasons number one Everyone will try and scam you 24 hours a day Even if your Cuban friend is standing right next to you telling them that you know the real price of things They'll still try to gouge it now. You might love the old cars You see them everywhere, but the pollution from those old cars is horrible

[22:31] You cannot even breathe in some parts of the city even in your apartment You're gonna have trouble breathing so much for living in Havana Remember all those cars were built way before there were any kind of pollution or emission controls And even if they were so equipped that stuff would have long since rotted and rusted off Never to be replaced because no one's checking just like in the 50s and the 60s back in the states. No one cares Number three where the people live it's one of the ugliest the most dilapidated countries in the world with one of the worst infrastructures Almost all the buildings are pre Castro and no one does anything to fix them up from a distance They look sort of majestic But as you get closer, they're falling apart as far as I can see the government puts no money into anything

[23:21] And there really is no economy except tourism number four There's nothing to buy even if you have money one day you've got products the next day You don't so you better buy it while it's there number five It's an island But it takes you an hour to get to a decent beach from Havana and the taxis want 50 bucks to take you there Which is more than a month's salary for the average guy The system is all screwed up and if you stay at a nice hotel by the beach It's more expensive than any other one. You can get in Bahamas or Jamaica or anywhere number six Unless you're staying in an all-inclusive first world hotel. The food is horrific You'll be eating rice beans and chicken and every variation of it every day number seven again Unless you're in a first-class first world hotel

[24:07] There are no clean toilets or clean toilet seats. Sometimes no toilet seats. No toilet paper No soap So definitely bring a large stash of white peas and don't buy them in country cuz you'll pay ten times the price But don't worry. They rarely stock them number eight There is barely an internet even if you're in an upscale hotel You'll pay four bucks an hour for an internet that simply crawls along like a dial-up modem So then how you supposed to have a business in Cuba? Every business has some internet component these days So forget about it By the way, as far as private homes and such having internet in Havana the biggest city in Cuba as of March 2017 they were just rolling out private internet service with get this only

[24:54] 400 private clients and houses having internet up till then So what's it cost to sign up now? You'll get 30 hours of internet per month How about that and for speeds of a hundred and twenty eight kilobytes per second Whoa, like a dial-up modem five bucks a month And if you want the maximum speed which is two megabytes per second. Yep. I said two megs That's the fastest you can get at a hundred five bucks a month, which no average Cuban person could ever afford Now if you want more than 30 hours of internet a month, he has to pay an extra dollar fifty an hour So they're opening up internet to private individuals But no one can afford it up to now the connection in homes has been allowed only to some professionals like doctors journalists and academics

[25:42] Which required government authorization? Number nine, there's never much at all in the supermarkets. That is if you can even find a supermarket In fact, there are barely any shops says we know them of any kind number ten the locals who don't have US dollars or cash have to line up to get boxes of matches sugar oil and Government bread coming from government bakeries And of course, you know how much pride government employees have in their work. So the bread is basically crap Number eleven, they've created a so-called tourist currency just to make it easier to gouge tourists Number twelve Havana has one of the worst airports in the world with no Wi-Fi or phones that work So if you have a problem with a visa or a flight or comes in way too late, for example, you're absolutely

[26:34] 100% screwed number 13 services slow and heartless. It's clear. No one gives a crap about anything Number 14, there are only eight TV stations all total crap and propaganda Outside TV stations are banned. There's still a kind of a fear instilled in the people's minds and hearts They're not willing to open up after a while as a tourist, especially as a resident It wears you down and sucks the energy out of you. They says, of course, there are lots of good things about Cuba Most of the people are quite nice considering their situation haircuts are really cheap and they've got the best cigars in the world So bottom line the next time you see blogs International living or anyone else trying to sell you on the idea of living retiring or investing in Cuba

[27:20] Don't say I didn't warn you by the way The object of a plan B is to get residency in a passport, right? Well, a Cuban passport is rated as one of the worst travel documents in the world This is the expat files living in Latin America If you want me to help you out with your own plan B Just schedule a one-on-one consult send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to learn how to move forward with your own plan B from right up there in the States go to www.expatplanb.com and check out my three videos. See ya nos vemos