Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller dives into the real-life experiences of expats in Latin America, contrasting them with the idealized versions often seen in travel media. He reflects on his previous discussions about 'gringo disease' and 'ragaton', and explores the challenges of becoming a musician in the first world versus the third world. Johnny also shares insights on the cultural significance of music in Latin America, the role of guitars as icebreakers, and the importance of musical training for expats. He touches on the struggles of former athletes, the lack of international breakout stars from Latin America, and the cultural perception of mariachi music.
Johnny begins by introducing the podcast's focus on real-life experiences in Latin America, contrasting it with the idealized portrayals in travel magazines and websites. He reflects on his previous episode, discussing topics like the 'gringo disease' (difficulty dancing among expats), the musical phenomenon 'ragaton' (a Latin equivalent of rap and hip-hop), and the challenges Latin musicians face in making a living despite their talent. Johnny then shifts to discussing the process of becoming a musician in the first world versus the third world, emphasizing the importance of starting young with classical instruments like the piano. He highlights the high dropout rate among aspiring musicians and the limited financial success for most, even those who persist. He also connects this to the broader cultural and social implications of musical training, suggesting it can lead to opportunities for expats in Latin America.
He then discusses the odds of a child who starts playing a musical instrument growing up to be a successful musician or even support themselves as a middle-class American. He outlines the statistics of how only 1% of children who start with an instrument can eventually support themselves, and even fewer (1 in 500) make it to the big time with their own roadies. He shares his personal experience of starting piano and guitar at a young age, but ultimately realizing that a career in music was not viable for him. He encourages parents to start their children with music at a young age, around 6 years old, as it provides cultural and educational benefits, and can help build social connections later in life. He also mentions that many of his friends who focused on sports over music now regret not pursuing music, as it offers a more versatile and long-term social benefit.
Johnny then discusses the challenges faced by former athletes who suffered from injuries during their careers, highlighting the lack of financial reward despite their efforts. He shares a personal anecdote about his brother, who was scouted by the NHL but never made it due to knee surgeries. Johnny then transitions to his own experiences as an expat in Latin America, where he uses his guitar to connect with locals and build friendships. He emphasizes the value of music in bridging cultural gaps and how it has enriched his life. He also offers practical advice for travelers, recommending inexpensive guitars from local markets in Latin America instead of expensive ones from the U.S., as they are more durable and less likely to be stolen.
He then discusses the role of a guitar as an icebreaker in social situations, particularly in Latin America. He emphasizes that a guitar can help start the best parties and even change how people perceive someone in a bad neighborhood. He also contrasts his lifestyle with backpackers, stating that he prefers comfort and does not identify as a backpacker. Additionally, he touches on the lack of international breakout stars from Latin America, attributing this to a lack of creativity and over-reliance on copying first-world music.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses the role of a guitar as an icebreaker in social situations, particularly in Latin America. He emphasizes that a guitar can help start the best parties and even change how people perceive someone in a bad neighborhood. He also contrasts his lifestyle with backpackers, stating that he prefers comfort and has minimum standards, such as a private bathroom. He mentions that there are no guitar idols or gods in Latin America, unlike in the first world, and that Latin American musicians are often seen as copying rather than being original. He notes that while Latin America has many great musicians, they rarely break out internationally due to a lack of creativity and over-reliance on copying first-world music.
Johnny then discusses the phenomenon of Latin music, particularly Latin rock and roll, which he describes as heavily influenced by first-world rock and roll. He notes that Latin musicians often rework first-world hits by adding Spanish lyrics, which leads to a loss of the original meaning and rhyming. Despite this, he acknowledges the presence of high-quality jazz, blues, and reggae music in Latin America, even though it's often overshadowed by the more commercially successful Latin rock genre. He also highlights the challenges faced by these musicians, such as the difficulty of finding a following in cities with a significant indigenous population.
Finally, Johnny Mueller discusses the cultural significance of mariachi bands in Mexico and Latin America, contrasting their traditional role with the perception of expats and first-worlders. He highlights the prevalence of mariachi music in events like weddings, birthdays, and graduations, and notes the contrast between the local appreciation for these bands and the outsider's view of them as outdated or humorous. He also touches on the modernized version of mariachi music known as Ranchero music, which is popular in rural areas of Mexico and parts of Central and South America. Johnny emphasizes that while expats and first-worlders may not appreciate the music, it is a deeply rooted tradition among Latin Americans.
Topics
The Expat Files introduction and focus on real-life experiences in Latin America, Reflection on previous episode topics like 'gringo disease' and 'ragaton', Discussion on the process of becoming a musician in the first world versus the third world, Analysis of the high dropout rate and limited financial success for musicians in the first world, Connection between musical training and opportunities for expats in Latin America, Music and career prospects, Personal experience with music, Cultural and educational benefits of music, Social benefits of music, Regrets of focusing on sports over music, Challenges of former athletes, Cultural connections through music
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:09 Contrast between idealized portrayals and the real-life experiences of expats 00:00:10 Reflection on previous episode topics and the challenges faced by Latin musicians 00:00:14 Discussion on the process of becoming a musician in the first world versus the third world 00:00:15 Analysis of the high dropout rate and limited financial success for musicians in the first world 00:04:53 Where Was I? - Setting the Stage for the Discussion 00:04:55 The Remaining 5 Kids - Introducing the Statistical Context 00:04:59 Final 5% - Highlighting the Narrow Path to Musical Success 00:05:04 4 Kids in Bands - The Reality of Musical Careers 00:05:09 Making More Money Than the Guitar - The Financial Realities 00:05:15 Recouping Costs - The Financial Challenges of Music 00:05:17 Not Middle Class - The Limitations of Musical Success 00:05:22 The 1% - The Ultimate Success in Music 00:09:37 The Struggles of Former Athletes 00:10:31 Music as a Cultural Bridge 00:13:51 Travel Tips for Guitar Buyers 00:14:14 Guitar as an Icebreaker 00:14:15 Guitar and Social Interaction 00:14:17 Guitar and Comfort 00:14:21 Guitar and Music 00:14:24 Guitar and Musical Ability 00:14:28 Guitar and Musical Comparison 00:14:29 Guitar and Musical Confidence 00:14:32 Guitar and Party Atmosphere 00:18:45 The Influence of First-World Music on Latin Rock and Roll 00:19:37 The Commercial Success of Latin Rock and the Loss of Original Meaning 00:21:33 The Presence of High-Quality Jazz, Blues, and Reggae in Latin America 00:23:14 Introduction to Mariachi Bands in Mexico 00:23:32 Mariachi Bands in Events and Cultural Significance 00:23:59 Ranchero Music and Its Popularity in Low-End Bars 00:24:46 Modernized Mariachi Bands and Their Fame 00:26:22 Mariachi Bands at Social Events and Their Importance 00:26:59 Perceptions of Mariachi Music by Expats and First-Worlders
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:04] Hi everybody, I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America. The show that tells you what it's really like to live, work, play and or retire in Latin America. I tell it just like it is, not the version they give you in those glossy travel magazines, or the picture they paint for you in those international traveler websites, where they're only trying to sell you something. What's it really like for expats living in Latin America? Well, it's time to take off those rose-colored glasses and find out. So let's get started. In the last show, I hit on some topics that were kind of strange, like first world guys that can't dance, which Latin people call the gringo disease. I talked about Latin music and Latin musical groups, the disgusting musical phenomenon called ragaton, which actually turns out to be the Latin answer to rap and hip-hop.
[00:52] And by the way, when I say ragaton is a disgusting phenomenon, I'm speaking for expats here because I've never met a single expat myself who doesn't think it's pretty awful. In the last show, I talked about the unbelievable talent that a lot of these Latin musicians have. And due to so many factors beyond their control, almost none of them, no matter how good they are, can never hope to make a decent living at it. Now, being a bit of a B-grade musician myself, I'd like to explain a few things to you about the actual process of becoming a musician in the first world as opposed to becoming a musician in the third world, because there's quite a difference. Now, I'm totally in favor, for all you parents out there, of taking a six-year-old kid and starting him on an instrument, preferably a classical instrument, like piano or violin
[01:39] or cello or oboe or whatever. That is, of course, if the kids showed at least some interest in wanting to take up some kind of musical instrument. And even if he's neutral about it, most kids like new things and they'll be willing to give it a try. And piano, of course, would be the absolute best, because if you start a kid playing a piano at six years old, even a guitar for that matter, but preferably piano, because it offers more flexibility musically and offers a broader range of opportunities later, which I'll explain in a second and what it has to do with becoming an expat down here. Anyway, it's always a trick to keep the kid motivated. The idea is to get at least six good years of practice under his belt, then he'll never lose the ability to play. Even if he drops that instrument altogether and doesn't play it again, by then his playing ability will be hardwired and it'll be something he'll never lose.
[02:25] And in the future, that little talent will serve him well, believe me. I've found out through my own experience that if you know how to play an instrument like piano or guitar, even if you're just adequate or so-so, not only will you be the life of the party wherever there's a piano, you'll automatically get shoved into a group of like-minded people while you're taking lessons. And parents who get their kids involved in piano and other classical instruments are almost always in the higher intellectual and socio-economic levels of society. So your kid's gonna be with a lot of other kids and with like-minded parents who are intent on giving their kids some kind of culture. And it seems inevitable that those kind of kids will make up the movers and shakers in the next generation. Now, you might be wondering what this has to do with the expat files. Well, I'm getting to that, so bear with me. Now, up in the first world, the vast majority of kids that want to play an instrument like
[03:14] to play the guitar or drums, or something that'll get them into a rock and roll band, well, because every kid wants to live that rock and roll guitar icon lifestyle. Young kids are just full of unrealistic optimism, aren't they? I know how that was. But just like in sports, where every kid thinks he's gonna be the next Michael Jordan, the rock and roll success statistics are pathetic. Now, it turns out, for every 100 kids in the first world who get guitars and start taking lessons, 90 of those kids will quit playing after a year. And that's why it seems like, in every other household in the first world, there's a dusty-like new guitar sitting up in the attic somewhere, right next to the ab builder, the thigh buster, and the Ginzu knives. Now, for the remaining 10 of our 100 little guitar owners, they'll actually take lessons long enough to get into a little rock and roll band with some of their friends.
[04:02] Now, 5 out of 10 of those kids will play at little school dances and social events, but will never make a dime because their little bands just aren't good enough, or they don't stay together long enough, to ever really get their acts together. That means that 95 out of the original 100 guitar players will never make enough money to even pay back the original investment that their mommies and daddies made on that original guitar and amplifier purchase. Not to mention the price of the lessons and the cost of the transportation back and forth. That's all money down the drain, too. And that doesn't even take into account the sonic abuse that the family members had to take every time little Johnny switched on his amplifier and started cranking out some sour notes. When put in round numbers like that, it sounds like a pretty disheartening prospect, doesn't
[04:48] it? No wonder they never tell you that down at the music store when you first whip out your checkbook. Okay, where was I? Now, of the remaining 5 kids that bought those guitars, and if you've been paying attention up to now, you'll know that we're down to the final 5% of those original 100 kids. Anyway, 4 kids out of those lucky 5 will get into little rock and roll bands and play at paying jobs now and again and will actually make more money than the price of the guitar and amplifier that their mommy and daddy bought. And they'll even recoup enough money to pay back the lessons and the transportation costs. But none of these 4 kids will ever get famous or make enough money to actually support themselves as middle class Americans. In other words, they have to have a day job to support that nighttime habit as a rockstar
[05:33] wanna be. Now that leaves us with one guitar player out of a hundred. That 1% of boys that gets an electric guitar or drums or piano or saxophone or whatever instrument who gets himself into a decent band or musical group and can support himself as a middle class American. And as far as actually making it to the big time, which most successful musicians define as having your own roadies so you don't have to set up and tune your own equipment, well the odds of a musician having his own roadies on tour is about 1 in 500 guitar players. And unfortunately you have a better chance at success playing the slot machines in Vegas. Now I'm giving you this analysis based on the fact that I was in that business. And I started my own piano and accordion lessons when I was 6 years old. And at 12, I got the rock and roll bug, gave up on the classics and got a guitar.
[06:23] And much to my mother's everlasting regret, she actually bought me one. And I ended up in that top 5% that actually was able to make enough money to pay for my guitar and my equipment and have some spending money. But I wasn't lucky enough to be able to make a career out of it. And luckily I realized that when I hit about 18 years old. And I decided instead to go on to college while my musical buddies decided to stick with the band and go on the road. But I was more realistic and knew I'd eventually have to get a real job. Now the reason why I'm telling you all of this is not to discourage you from starting your kids and music programs when they're very young. I think that's great and you really should do it. And you should start them at about 6 years old. Because that's one time in your kid's life that you still have a lot of control over them. And they'll still listen to you and you can get them to practice without a lot of nagging
[07:09] and bribes. Though they'll always be some of that. And another reason why I'm talking about this stuff that seems a bit off the track is because I get a lot of emails from people asking me about my life and how I got to the point where I decided I wanted to become a permanent expat down in Latin America. I don't know why. But people want to know what kind of twists and turns I took in my life to get here. So I'll give you some bits and pieces. Anyway, what I've found is that playing a musical instrument has been a great help to me as an expat. Even though it's nearly impossible to make a living at it. You have to look at the whole idea of getting your kids started on a musical instrument as a purely cultural and educational leg up. And personally I believe very strongly that if a young kid shows any interest at all in playing a musical instrument, you should act on it right away and think twice before you push him into other activities like sports.
[07:56] It's much better to nurture a kid's feeling for music and musical instruments than to fill up all his free time with sports and sports related things, believe me. Because I can't tell you how many of my own first world friends who are now in their 40s, so many of them have told me, including my own brother, that they really regret not taking up a musical instrument and all of them said they wished they hadn't spent so much time in sports. Of course, all these guys still love sports, but their playing days are long gone and all they can do now is sit at home and watch it on TV. But guess what? Johnny still has his hobby, piano and guitar, and he can play just as good or as bad as he always did, unaffected by rotator cuff injuries, knee surgeries, and pulled hamstring muscles. Anyway, they all have come to me in one way or another and said Johnny, we used to think
[08:42] you were kind of a wimp because you never were serious about sports. You never went out for any of our high school teams and you didn't follow professional sports nearly as much as we did. Now they admit to me they wished they would have taken up a musical instrument. And now that we're all middle-aged guys, man I hate that word middle-aged don't you? Anyway all my old friends express a lot of regret that they're not the ones that can walk into a strange house, a strange room, or a strange party. Sit down at a piano or grab a guitar, play a few tunes, make some new friends, get everybody together and put a smile on everyone's face. The fact is, if you know just the basics, in three minutes flat you could strike up a friendship with anybody. And you don't even have to know their language. Unfortunately, all my old friends can do is talk about baseball and football statistics
[09:29] and their old glory days back in high school and college. And in fact, a few of my friends who've had a number of sports injuries back in college and high school, they're suffering right now from all those old injuries, arthroscopic surgeries and ligament repairs. And all they've got now is memories and achy bodies, and not a dime to show for their pain because none of them ever made it to the big time. Though a few came close, including my own brother who was scouted by the NHL in high school, but after two knee surgeries in college, he never made it. Though now he's in his 40s, and every morning the arthritis in his knees reminds him that he almost did. Now as for me, when I travel through Latin America, if I'm lonely and I don't know a soul, all I have to do is pull out my guitar, sit on a park bench somewhere, and in no time
[10:15] I've got a crowd around me and some new friends. And better yet, if there's a piano in the house, I can get all the moms and grandmas on my side too. And I can't tell you how many times an older lady or a grandma is offered to treat me to a lunch or a dinner, after she's watched me play a little music in the park that is. And it just goes to show you how well music can break the ice between the cultures. And you know, that's probably one of the greatest gifts that my mother ever gave me. She got me into music and kept pushing me to practice and make my lessons, even when I whined and wanted to go outside and play baseball with my buddies. I can't tell you how much playing a musical instrument has helped me all through my life. Like I said, I never really made a lot of money at it, but man it really adds points to your social life, I'll tell you that. And of course, women love a guy who plays an instrument. And if you're capable of writing a song for a girl, no matter how pathetic it is, man you're
[11:04] really in. Though it does help if you look like Brad Pitt. Now when I go for an extended trip down here in Latin America, I always haul around my cheap $40 guitar. It actually sounds pretty decent. I'd never haul around a name brand like a Gibson or a Fender or a Martin. That would be nuts. I use a no name brand, and if I misplace it or somebody steals it, big deal so I buy another one for 40 bucks. Or down here, even less. Now in my 20 years down here, I've only lost two guitars. One got stolen from me while I was taking a bus trip from Mexico down to Panama. And that involved a lot of stops, a lot of getting out, and at least 10 border checks. So there was a lot of opportunity for someone who figured he needed that guitar more than I did. And the other guitar that I lost, while it actually wasn't lost, I made a mistake of asking a guy to toss it to me from a balcony at a hotel in Panama, where I was sitting
[11:54] down at the pool. The guy tossed it short, hit the cement, bounced a few times, the neck broke and it ended up in the water. So that was the end of that one. You know, I meet up with a lot of first world college students down here that are on vacation for a month or two or three, and I see a lot of backpackers too, especially Europeans. And though it looks miserable to me, they seem to love it. Sunburn, mosquito bites, scorpion stings and all. Anyway, a lot of times I'll see a first world college kid on vacation down here, carrying one of those very nice little mini acoustic guitars specially made for travelers and backpackers. And they're very light and about one third the bulk of a regular guitar. And they sound really nice, but I highly recommend that you don't buy one of those, because they cost around $300 or even more. And you don't want to have to worry about another expensive thing being lost or stolen
[12:42] besides your iPod, your Blackberry, your camera and your Kindle. Forget about bringing that expensive little guitar down here, instead buy one for 30 or 40 bucks when you get here, and when you're finished with your vacation, whether it's a month or a half a year, just give it away to someone who appreciates it. And if it's lost or stolen along the way, it's no big deal. So for all you world travelers out there, whether you've been to Europe, Canada, South America, Central America, wherever, let me set up a scene for you now. I know you've all got a common memory of sitting in a park, a restaurant, a parking lot, a hotel room, a lobby or an airport, where there's some fellow traveler, backpacker or whoever, with a little crowd of people around him. Just because he's the guy with the guitar. And that happens all the time when you're stuck in a foreign airport with a big layover.
[13:29] And he's the most popular guy in the room, because he's the guy with the guitar. So all you expats and expat wannabes out there, I recommend that if you do play the guitar, even if you can only play Louis Louis, don't buy one up north and bring it down, because even the cheapest ones cost at least 100 bucks up there. Instead, when you come down to Latin America, go to any music or variety store and you should be able to pick up a cheap guitar for 30 to 40 bucks. And usually they'll throw on a soft case and a strap for free. And if you're traveling through a lot of countries down here and just seeing the sights, it could be your best friend. And the thing is, wherever you go, if you have that guitar with you, you're always going to attract people and there'll always be other locals and fellow travelers who'll want to take a crack at it. And if you got a cheap 30 or 40 dollar beach model, that's what I call the cheapies, the
[14:14] beach model. Because a lot of times they end up in the water. Anyway, if you got a cheapie, it doesn't matter how many people you let pound away on it, or how wet it gets or how much sand you get in it. And when you pass that guitar around, you'll always run into somebody who can play a lot better than you can. And there's nothing wrong with that, so don't be embarrassed. And that's how the best parties get started. And if you're toting a guitar, you'll always run into people who can sing. And that'll get a party going too. And if you play the harmonica, ukulele, or banjo, those are good too. But I've learned that the guitar is the number one icebreaker. And believe it or not, sometimes having a guitar is like having a dog. If you're stuck in a bad section of town and you have a guitar with you, and you get that sense that you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, even the slimiest looking people with tattoos on their faces will not only leave you alone, but they'll often give you
[15:02] the thumbs up and crack a smile. They might even ask you to play a tune. Or they'll want to play one themselves. And even if they sound terrible, under those circumstances, I always smile and nod as if I was listening to Eric Clapton himself. Like I said, a guitar is kind of a universal icebreaker. And in all my years down here, I've never had a single problem with the locals, even in the worst of neighborhoods, as long as I was carrying my guitar. And don't get the idea that I'm a backpacker. I'm not the backpacker type. I'm not into roughing it. I could never be a backpacker because I have my minimum standards. And my minimum standard is, I have to have my own private bathroom when staying at a hotel. And backpackers by nature are big on sharing, including food, clothes, bathrooms, towels, and water bottles. Now, I consider myself a nice guy, but I'm not that nice.
[15:50] I like a good deal like everybody else. But I don't walk the streets in Jesus sandals, a backpack, and a guitar over my shoulder. I try my best to blend in and not look like a tourist. And that means not like a backpacker or a Mormon. And by the way, there are a lot of Mormons and missionaries down here. And they stick out like Harry Krishna's in an airport. And you really don't want to stick out down here, believe me. And I'll talk about that on a future show, so stay tuned. And I won't leave out those Mormons and missionaries. I have to talk about them. And I'll do it real soon. Now, a little while ago, when I mentioned how nearly impossible it is to think that you have half a chance at all of actually making a living as a musician in the first world. Well, down here in Latin America, it's not one in a hundred musicians that can make a middle class living. It's more like one in a thousand. And of course, every young kid down here with a guitar thinks he's going to be the next
[16:39] Carlos Santana or Eddie Van Halen. But the fact is, throughout Latin America, there are no guitar idols. There are no guitar gods like we have in the first world. Like Eric Clapton or Jimi Hendrix or Jimmy Page or Peter Townsend or Stevie Ray Vaughan or Slash or Eddie Van Halen. In fact, for every ten guitar heroes you can name from the first world, you can name about zero guitar heroes from Latin America. And for every international first world diva, like Madonna or Lady Gaga or Beyonce or even Jennifer Lopez. And for your information, J.Lo is considered a first world diva, because she was born in the States and is an American citizen. Anyway, for every ten first world international divas like that, there's only one Latin diva that even comes close to that category, and that's Shakira, who was born in Columbia,
[17:25] and who by the way has half Middle Eastern blood. Anyway, Latin America for all its huge quantity of great musicians, they have practically zero international breakout stars like Shakira. And the fact is, professional first world musicians that I happen to know, people who are a lot better qualified to talk about this than me, they explain that the reason why Latin American musicians, as great as they are musically, almost never break out on the international scene, is because they're short on creativity and long on copying to the point of plagiarism. I've been told that they're just great on copying, lick per lick, anything that a first world superstar can do on his or her instrument, but they're very short on originality. The well known music that we know, that comes from Latin America, all originated more than
[18:11] fifty years ago, with those pure Latin and Caribbean beats of salsa, rumba, bassa nova and tango. But since then, as far as music goes, nothing really creative has come out of Latin America since then. And don't get me wrong, Latin America does have its super groups, and its regional superstars like Maná, Inános Verdes, Ricardo Arona, Paulina Rubia, and countless dozens of others that you've most likely never even heard of, all of whom when they release a CD sell millions of copies. But you see, the thing is, if you listen to that music with a critical ear, it's all rehashed versions of first world music. The chord patterns, the changes, the structures have all been done before up in the first world. And down here, the Latins are good at dissecting it, adding their own twists, and putting it out as Latin rock and roll, which is by far the number one selling listening music down
[18:58] here right now, with Ragaton being the number one selling dance music. In fact, every young Latin teenage boy down here, if you ask him what he wants to be in life, he'll tell you he wants to be the next big Latin rock star, that is, if he doesn't want to be an international soccer star. And if you listen to Latin rock, like I have, in fact you can't help it because it's blasting out of every young kid's radio. Anyway, you can hear musical passages in it that have been directly ripped off from first world hits, sometimes note by note and phrase by phrase. The riffs are basically stolen right from classic first world rock and roll bands, like the Rolling Stones, Kiss, Queen, The Beatles, Black Eyed Peas, ACDC, you name it, Latin songwriters and guitar players, they've stolen it. Which again, is another reason why we call it the third world. And because the copyright laws are so weak, no one does anything about it.
[19:46] Not to mention, the music almost never gets back up to the first world for anyone to really take notice that a lot of it's been ripped off. In fact, down here, there's a whole industry in taking first world hit songs and re-recording them with Spanish lyrics and releasing them down here. Now the funny thing is, that hit songs, when they're in English, the way we're used to hearing them, the lyrics and phrases usually have some rhyming to them. I mean, isn't that one of the qualities that makes a good song? A good rhyme? Well as you might imagine, when you translate a hit English song into Spanish, you lose every bit of the rhyming in a literal translation. Now take for example, a song like Piano Man by Billy Joel. Now we all know it's a song about a guy playing a piano at a bar for a living. But when it's put out with Spanish lyrics, it doesn't rhyme at all anymore. So to get it to rhyme and flow with the new Spanish words, the actual meaning of the song
[20:35] is completely lost. And now it's some kind of a love song, with some guy leaving a girl in the lurch at the airport. And it's no longer at all about a guy playing a piano in a bar. And that's what happens all the time with these reworked first world hits. Once they're re-recorded and Latinized, they almost always end up being your standard love song. So any of you expats and expat wannabe Spanish speakers out there, if you want to get a good laugh, get on the internet and tune in to one of those middle of the road Latin format adult radio stations. And every fifth song or so, you'll hear a Latinized version of an old number one first world hit. And if you can follow along to the Spanish lyrics, you'll be surprised how little they have in common with the original first world hits. In fact the other day I heard the Spanish version of that sugary old ballad from the
[21:21] 80s called Feelings. You remember that one? Well when I heard the Spanish translation, it was a song with a completely different meaning. But it didn't matter because in Spanish or in English, the song Feelings still sucks. But I still say for raw talent, the best musicians I've ever seen are down here in Latin America. And for those of you who like jazz and blues and reggae, don't get the idea that all they have down here in live music are first world cover bands, Latin Rock and Salsa. Believe it or not, down here I've seen some of the best blues, jazz and reggae groups in the world. And some of these jazz quartets, they're absolutely outstanding. If you close your eyes, you'd think you were back in Greenwich Village, in the heyday of straight ahead jazz back in the 50s. Believe me, some of these latin groups are that good. And when it comes to the blues, well I've seen some blues groups down here that would
[22:08] give any blues master a run for his money up in the States. The only thing that with blues, there's a lot of singing. So there again you run into that problem where the singer always has a little bit of a Spanish accent, which kind of blows the effect if they're trying to sing Chicago, New Orleans or Texas blues. But the music itself, when you set the singing aside, it's first rate. And you've still got to wonder, and you've got to scratch your head, when you realize that you're in La Paz, Bolivia, the heart of Latin America, where over half the people are indigenous Indians, well you have to wonder how a first rate jazz or blues band can pop up in a city like that. In fact, not just one, but a handful of jazz and blues bands. You've got to wonder how these individual guys in these bands even found each other, what with such a rare common interest, much less obtain a following or find places that
[22:55] they could actually play at. Kind of blows my mind when I think about it. That would be like getting top rate musicians from Salt Lake City, Utah together to start a bus and over band to tour Mormon country. Man, could you think of a tougher road gig than that? Now in talking about Latin music, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the phenomena of mariachi bands down here. Now of course, almost every North American knows what a mariachi band is. It's that group of overweight guys in sombreros in velvet Elvis jumpsuits that walk over to your table at a Mexican restaurant and play their favorite Mexican songs for you, and they're always a little bit out of tune. Have you noticed that? Well, mariachi bands are huge in Mexico, and they show up at almost every event. From weddings to birthdays to christenings to sporting events, you always got these sweaty
[23:42] fat guys in sombreros playing that sorrowful Mexican music. And to tell you the truth, first world people and expats just don't get it. Now down here in Mexico, which is pretty much the land of these mariachis, they play a variation on that music called Ranchero music, and that's the kind of music you'll almost always hear played on the jukeboxes in those very low-end bars and restaurants that are called cantinas down here. And I'm sure you've heard that word cantina from some of the Hollywood depictions of Mexico in those old black and white movies in the 50s. And they call that kind of music in these cantinas Ranchero music, meaning cowboy or farmer music in English, which is somewhat similar to its first cousin Tex-Mex music. But we won't get into that right now because that's the American Latino version of it. Anyway, down in Mexico, they actually have these Ranchero groups, a kind of modernized
[24:32] version of the mariachis, with synthesizers and electric guitars and all the modern electronic equipment. And they play in front of crowds of 20 and 30 thousand people sometimes. These are true super groups that sell millions of records, like for example El Tigres de Norte, which means Tigers of the North. And they're all rich and famous and have huge houses, and young sexy wives, and have body guards and entourages, except no one in the first world, that's not Latino that is, has ever heard of them. And they look like a complete joke. Almost every one of them with a pot belly, a huge sombrero with dingle balls, and satin sparkled tour outfits that would put Elvis and his fat days to shame. But you see, this superstar Ranchero phenomena pretty much only exists in Mexico and mostly
[25:17] in the rural areas, and parts of Guatemala and Honduras. Because they have borders or near borders with Mexico, so they have a lot in common and a cultural spillover. Now throughout Central America and in parts of South America, every city has their group of mariachi bands, and usually on every Friday and Saturday night, in the popular restaurant hotel and disco districts, if you're driving your car through there, you'll often see five or six mariachi guys in full regalia, sombrero, satin suits, guitars and all that, slowly but surely, making the rounds from restaurant to restaurant, and serenading the clients at the tables, whether they want to be serenaded or not. And generally, they don't get paid by the bars in the restaurants, not like the mariachi bands you see at the Mexican restaurants up in the first world.
[26:03] But down here, throughout Latin America, these guys play for tips. And when I said before that up in Mexico, it's a very big deal. Anyway, in the rest of Latin America, mariachi bands like that are always called on to play for certain special occasions, like graduations and wedding parties. And it's such a tradition that it doesn't matter if you're dirt poor or very wealthy. Mariachis can show up at almost any event, and at certain events, they're mandatory. In fact, I was at a graduation of a friend of mine who just got out of medical school, and his father and mother are both doctors from a very wealthy family. And yet, they had this out of tune mariachi band playing at the country club for the guys' graduation party. Now, to me, if this happened up in the first world, it would have to be somebody's idea of a cruel joke. Because the most first worlders and expats I know, just the idea of a bunch of fat guys
[26:51] dressed in sombreros and velvet Elvis jumpsuits, well, you get the idea. Anyway, no first world person or expat I know has tolerance for that kind of music. It's good for about three minutes, a few laughs, and that's it. But down here, Latins of all social status take that mariachi thing mighty seriously. In fact, a few days after the party, I heard my buddy, who's now a medical doctor, bragging to some of his friends at the hospital how great his graduation party was, and especially the mariachis. He was quite excited and proud about that. To tell you the truth, I don't get it. I guess it's like the Scottish in their haggis, the Texans in their prairie oysters, and the Australians in their marmite. It's an acquired taste, and some people never get used to it. You've been listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America, and don't forget
[27:42] you can email me on anything at all about Latin America. The Expat Files at gmail.com. That's theexpatfiles at gmail.com. See you next time, nos vemos.