#819 – The Expat Files: Navigating Law Enforcement, Health Care, and Cultural Challenges in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America the show that tells you just what it's like to live Work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Alright now you longtime listeners know I've spoken a lot about cops and authorities here in Latin America You've heard me say how slow they move how they're all on manana time and far as the cops go if you call them

[00:45] They're dialed 911. Yeah, they got 911 here too. Oh The ambulance will respond but don't expect the cops to show up. All right, then suppose you call the cops Wouldn't you know it their response time depends a lot on the neighborhood you live in you live in a nice neighborhood They're gonna come fast Living a body or a Santa Mientos, you know kind of the slums or favolas Just like if you lived in the ghetto in the States, they might not come at all Aside from that you've heard me say that the cops throughout Latin America except in Mexico are not really bad guys at all They're just you know putting in their eight or nine hours a day Whatever it is though. The thing is for them. It's not a career. They're not at all dedicated to their jobs It's just a job and they really don't want to get off to their fat asses to do anything

[01:32] Which is a good thing as far as our sex pats and gringos are concerned considering what we got up in the states involving cops and feds state patrol FBI It's more like the Gestapo versus Barney 5 if you know what I mean So it's true, especially south of south of the border. That would be south of Mexico The cops are fat ass lazy and don't want to do much of anything except they can be lulled out of that passive state There is a way, you know to rile up the most easy-going most passive low IQ fat ass cop anywhere in Latin America. Anyway, in other words, there's a way to instantly get him on your bad side. That is start filming them Get him on camera My advice don't ever do that Even if you're let's say in Costa Rica walking down the street and see a happy cop smiling and talking to people

[02:20] Don't start filming them. I know tourists like to take snapshots and film everything Anything and everything for fake book to prove you got the dough to go international. Hey fake book Instagram Social media is all about the show, right? So naturally for Americans loading up on the photo ops is part of the vacation including a couple of shots of the cops But cops don't understand that because locals will never film cops You know, the cops might be thick skulled and dumb But they know one of the only ways to catch a cop while he's doing something nasty is to get him on film So let me tell you the worst thing you could possibly do you get pulled over in your rent a car When let's say you're driving through Costa Rica. He says let's see your papers Oops, there's something wrong here And you know that can't be because you went through a rental agency you sense a bribe is coming

[03:08] Then you pull out your camera and start filming man. You want to see a lethargic meatball turn into a man of action Well, that's what's gonna happen. And in most cases gonna pay for it in one way or another Oh and get this in the four or five instances where I've seen gringo pull out a camera and start filming a cop in the end the gringo never saw his phone again and Believe me after that none of those gringos Reported the theft and there's one universal truth. That is you never want a cop to be pissed off at you Oh and another way to piss off a cop tell him when he's asking you to do something Let's say to look in your trunk or your club compartment Well, you don't want to say like you just might if it happened up in the States Hey, I don't have to let you look at anything without a warrant. I know my rights What I'm saying is if you're in Latin America and a cop asks to frisk you or look in your car

[03:56] Don't pull the I've got my rights BS now It's worse in Mexico or Costa Rica where the cops can speak some English case They'll get what you're saying and they'll really get pissed because as far as Latin cops are concerned, you've got no rights Why because they certainly didn't read a rule book while they were in the Academy and if they did they didn't remember it In other words, don't expect Latin cops to be up on the law Even if you are and if you know Spanish and blurt that out, it's even worse For far more Senor you say mister etchos. Don't practice that Spanish term on a cop For one thing, you'll instantly lose that clueless gringo thing You got going for you because remember especially when you're off the tourist trail most cops don't know any English at all So if you speak exclusively in English a lot of times, I'll just let you be on your way

[04:45] They'll figure there are easier marks out there. You're just too difficult Unless of course, they've got Google Translate on their phones like the cops in Mexico and Costa Rica I'll tell you the best thing you can do is give the cops a little respect You'll catch them off guard because they're just not used to it Even if it's totally false respect because the locals they know their cops are human dung bags But unlike up in the states, the locals are not afraid of the cops So it's a very good idea not to get wise or X smarter than they are Even if you have to give your own Oscar-winning dumbass performance, which is why by the way You longtime listeners have heard me say this before You should always have some coca-cola Cheetos, Doritos or some kind of junk food in your car Stick it in the trunk because you'll probably eat it if you don't

[05:30] That believe me is a huge and instant icebreaker It's the easiest and cheapest way to make a friend out of any cop It still might cost you 20 or 30 bucks in the long run if he's looking for a bribe But it'll be a very friendly encounter. Oh And here's another little tip if you're pulled over or flagged down By a group of cops on a regular stop where they're pulling over Let's say one out of 20 cars when there's a big organized setup like that where they're waving people into different lanes with colored pylons And such they'll almost never ask you for a bribe. Why is that that's because there are too many cops involved And once you've got more than a handful There are always one or two straight arrows or rookies who just won't play ball They won't take a bribe which puts the other guys in the uncomfortable position of being good cops

[06:18] At least for the moment because the last thing a bad cop wants is a good cop witness in the event of things going south However, if you get shagged down by just one two or three cops You can almost count on the fact they're gonna try to squeeze some dough out of you because usually when it's one cop or cops And pairs or triplets they've already worked out their system Oh and as far as bribe or more data rates these days if you're in a place where there's lots of tourism like Costa Rica Mexico you're looking at a hundred bucks or more However, when you're way off the gringo tourist trail Nicaragua Salvador Honduras Guatemala Bolivia Paraguay Well, then 20 or 30 bucks will usually suffice on that note Here's some good advice from expat Eddie He says look when you get pulled over by one two or three cops, you know

[07:05] They're gonna try to hit you for more data. So don't beat around the bush say, okay What did I do and they'll come up with some excuse whether it's bad paperwork not using a seat belt or talking on the cell phone Whatever just say, okay. I'm in a hurry. I'll pay my fine right now And by the way, like most everything in Latin America, you can negotiate. Yep, you can even negotiate your more data More data, of course meaning bribe Actually, the direct translation is bite, you know like taking a bite Oh and about that cell phone use thing Yeah It's a law in every Latin country that you can't drive and use a cell phone and since no one cares about that law Everyone does it so talking on a cell phone while driving has become a catch-all phrase when you get pulled over by the cops

[07:50] Why because it's totally unprovable and most likely true, but that doesn't matter It says word against yours and you know who's in the power position there By the way, when expat Eddie was living up in the states He got out of two speeding tickets by telling the cop he had a terrible case of diarrhea and the cops He said, you know wanted no part of that and one even escorted him to the nearest gas station Of course, you have to do a little bit of acting there playing the part of a really stressed out guy ready to explode So might that be a good way to get out of a speeding ticket here in Latin America? No, why because they don't give speeding tickets Except once again when you're on the gringo tourist trail Mexico Costa Rica Panama and the big cities in Colombia where the cops have radar And some of them surprise surprise even work

[08:36] Oh and do note some Latin police stations in the bigger cities are buying these automated camera systems Where they're checking your plate and your speed and you'll automatically find out you've got a speeding ticket when you try to renew your license So soon enough even here in Latin America, there won't be any cops with radar guns Just cameras posted here and there checking your plate against your speed But the lag time on getting that going in a big way is gonna take years Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't tell you there is a certain circumstance when you can film cops and take their pictures and that is when you're pulled over and for some reason you've Bonded with the cop. He's buddy buddy with you and it usually starts out when you tell him where you're from For example, you told them you're from Cleveland and he's telling you about his cousin Frederico

[09:22] In Maine and asking if you ever had drywall installed by him because you know Latinos have no idea how big the US is They think everyone's got something like two degrees of separation like in their country Anyway, if you've really bonded with a cop and that happens sometimes with gringos The cop will be the one who will actually say hey Let's have a photo together and suddenly not only are you posing with the guy, but he's inviting you over for dinner Hey, don't laugh. I know gringos this has happened to though never on the gringo tourist trail Always off the trail now get this I know one gringo who got pulled over by a couple of cops and he happened to have a big collection of guns up in The states this guy asked the cop about his gun They got to talking about guns general the gringo pulled out his phone and showed the cop the awards

[10:09] He'd gotten for sharpshooting and his big gun collection and one of those cops was really into guns and was a Supposed sharpshooter, too. You'll never guess what happened that they wanted to see how good this guy was They wanted to see him shoot they drove out into the county and had some target practice with the cops guns Of course the gringo bought the ammo, but just goes to show what crazy things can happen here Imagine a situation like that happening up in the states talk about never, huh? And if a cop ever handed his gun over to a civilian Especially if he's someone being pulled over for a violation traffic or otherwise Well, let's just say that US cop could kiss his pension. Goodbye But not so in Latin America. Oh and forgot to tell you this part when the gringo went shooting with the cops

[10:58] He told me he let the cop the sharpshooter of the two I'll shoot him by just a little bit because he figured if he beat the pants off this guy He might lose points and at this point he had a pretty good in all right enough said about that Let's talk about Latin health care for a second always a popular subject now I'm gonna read this email should scare you a bit or maybe not says hi Johnny your podcasts are fantastic By the way of my background. I have an MBA in health care administration and an MS in health care finance and currently work in IT I'm 49 years old and counting down till I can mobilize my own plan B Then he says I've worked in multiple areas of the US health care system and just to confirm the obvious It's totally and irrevocably

[11:46] Up Then he says globalization of health care may be one of the solutions. That's why I'm beside myself Waiting for your health care in Latin America report. All right me Johnny here again He's referring to my hundred page report. It's called an expats guide to health care in Latin America Subtitled first world health care at third world prices if you want to get it go to www dot the expat files all one word comm slash health care All right, then he says in his email Here's a novel topic for your show and this strategy could help attract many people to your seminars. He says Johnny suppose your participants could come down to the seminar and get a procedure done or even an

[12:34] Executive physical exam in that case they could have most of the cost or a lot of cost offset by a tax Deduction that's permitted by the IRS the IRS allows deductibility of such things And then you've also got that option called the health savings account HSA Now the benefit of the health savings account is that the contributions are tax-free and the account earns Investment income tax-free too, of course if used for qualified medical expenses Then he says I personally save in a health savings account myself and have about 15 grand once I hit 55 I hope to have around 50 to 75 grand and he says I'm very much interested in visiting Latin America So please send along your health care report as soon as possible

[13:23] All right. I've already given you at that link. It's expat files that comm slash health care Then he finishes up saying thanks for everything Johnny sincerely. We won't use his name here Let's just call him mr. US health care administrative expert Then he gave me a list of the exact IRS rules regarding health care savings accounts and what you can and can't deduct Hmm very interesting So it looks like if you come down to Latin America for example for so-called medical tourism, and you know me I don't like that term medical tourism Anyway, if you're coming down for pretty much any kind of medical treatment at all You get to deduct all or part of the cost of the trip So it's a win-win a double win you get your medical treatment at a fifth or even a sixth of the cost of first-world

[14:14] Treatment and you get a tax write-off. Oh by the way about two months ago I got an email from a health care administrative official in Los Angeles. He's the chief administrator overseeing 15 hospitals and his email was so damning of the US health care system He told me he didn't want me to read any part of it on the air Even if I change the names the dates and the place and you know what surprise surprise Actually, it was no surprise at all he's working on this plan B and planning on coming down in the next three years and This coming from a guy who's the chief administrator of 15 hospitals Need we say more? Oh and he too mentioned something about HSAs that's health care savings accounts. But the fact is, you know, if you move to Latin America

[15:05] Permanently or semi permanently you will not need a health savings account Not when you can get a top-notch first world style health care plan for a hundred to two hundred bucks a month And when I say first world style and top-notch I mean it and those of you who've read my health care report and those of you've come down to my seminar Know exactly what I mean because part of our seminar is devoted to talking about Exactly that health care and health care insurance and we visit a first world hospital and talk to English-speaking highly trained doctors, too But you knew that already right and now I'd like to read a part of an email Entitled cultural traps. Let me set this up by saying, you know The more gringos pile into a place the more we gringoize things and we start changing their culture

[15:51] To reflect our culture and the people meaning the locals certainly get influenced by the influx of gringo dollars They get jaded by all that and start preferring us funny money over their own local currency Soon enough then you'll find this all over the place in Mexico and Costa Rica For example, the local businesses would rather cater to gringos and expats than their own people And of course is because we have more money we're perceived as rich whether we are or not though It is true compared to the locals. We are there are certain stereotypes about us that prevail in the business community Like for example, we pay on time or pay when we say we will our checks don't bounce and When we make an appointment or a meeting date, we're there and we're on time and most of all Latin businessmen

[16:39] No, if we're happy with their service will refer other gringos to them We'll also pay their bills on time checks won't bounce they'll keep appointments etc and as far as restaurant owners and service personnel They also know that gringos chip and we tip big Relatively speaking the thing about Latinos is they rarely tip That's why in so many Latin countries the tip is Automatically added to the check at a restaurant bar disco Whatever because you see if it wasn't that way There wouldn't be many waiters or waitresses willing to take the job because that's how they make most of their money here in Latin America Especially on the tourist trail gringo tips, which has become a double-edged sword Sure, it benefits waiters and waitresses tremendously

[17:24] But it also causes economic and social dislocation Which is why on the tourist trail almost everyone wants to work at a gringo hotel a restaurant and or in the tourism Especially since it's normal for a gringo to give a waiter a hotel bellhop a $10 tip Which would be in effect the day's wages for someone working a factory or warehouse job or a farm worker or someone working in? One of those so-called sweatshop Makilas That's another reason why Latin cops single out gringos and foreigners for more data because they know they're good for it Their easy marks that is they usually fall right into line and pay right up and they almost seem glad to do it Just to get out from under the thumb of the cops because you know us gringos were afraid of cops

[18:11] And the fact is if they didn't hit up certain people former Dita They wouldn't be able to live on a cop salary of only around three to five hundred bucks a month That's the average salary for a cop in most of Latin America and they can't live on that So the fact that gringos and Europeans are piling into certain choice Latin destinations Distorting the social and economic equilibrium and of course jacking up prices and the cost of living Well, that's why I get the occasional email from someone who's just visited Costa Rica. He'll say Johnny. It's really expensive here Same thing with Panama parts of Mexico Brazil and even now Medi in Colombia where there's a huge gringo boom and thus a real estate boom Which certainly will bust short be like all the real estate bubbles in the medium and large cities here in Latin America as well

[18:59] It's up by you, but back to our email entitled cultural traps says Johnny I'm no bleeding-heart liberal, but in 2015 I witnessed an incident in Morelia Michoacán, Mexico that made me reconsider my idea of moving there We were sitting at a restaurant when a native Indian came to our table intent on showing us her wares and selling things our guide and friend tried to shoo her away and His attitude was that this person's a lowlife and we should not engage with her now My wife did want to talk to her because she had some very nice jars and pots and I can't remember what else We would have bought something from her I know but the items were just too large and heavy for us to take along in our luggage

[19:47] What shot this though was our friends total disdain for this woman who hardly spoke Spanish and whose culture had been displaced by the Spanish We all know that story the same Revulsion had been aroused in me when I first came to Buenos Aires Argentina and I ran into a lady begging on the street the pedestrians there were urging me to move on and not give her anything I gave her some money though and moved on. These are not unfamiliar scenes to you. I know Johnny. I'm sure Question is how does one maintain a balanced and ethical lifestyle in your adopted community in the midst of all that? What role do you or do we play in the local culture and another thing? How do you avoid those fanatic?

[20:33] Evangelicals those things aren't totally unfamiliar to me in the US, of course, but here's another example I just returned to the US after a period of life in Argentina We were attending a conference in Louisville, Kentucky was the 4th of July We were having trouble finding an open restaurant to have dinner and we finally found an open restaurant We were about to enter and the woman came out and said you can't come in here like that, sir I was wearing a most school Losa shirt. I bought in Brazil and it was sleeveless I guess she didn't like the fact that you could see my arm and body hair She then slipped a t-shirt over my head and said there that's much better So as hot and hungry as you were I made no resistance But I noted never to think of Louisville in the same way again Anyway, this and many other similar experiences in Latin America, especially make me want to ask

[21:23] How is life on a day-to-day basis in for example, Antigua Guatemala? I know I will have to make some compromises and I hope it's much more liberal than Louisville But I think maybe your expert listeners and some of your seminar attendees like know just how you and your friends Manage to integrate into the local scene. All right. Thanks for that. Mr. D Well, one thing you realize right away is when the gringos pile in so do the poor locals trying to sell you stuff Fact is when you're way off the gringo tourist trail almost no one bothers or pesters you Walks up to you on the street and says hey, I give you good price only six dollars I mean look that's when you really know you're on the gringo tourist trail when they try to sell you stuff use in english Worse yet if their local funny money currency is in pesos colognes or

[22:10] It's Alice whatever and they're giving you a price in dollars Also note that when you land an airport in a country that's not on the gringo tourist trail There won't be people running up to you trying to sell you junk either But look out if you're flying into an airport near a tourist destination Then you're going to get the full treatment as well as taxis pulling scams Now as far as places like antigua guatemala, which by the way only has around 20,000 people in the city and it's a unesco world heritage site So it is on the tourist trail as much as the tourist trail can be in a country That's not on the tourist trail If that makes sense, although it's on the sort of tree hug and backpacker learn your spanish kind of tourist trail So it's in no way glitzy or glamorous with limousines dormant and four star hotels popping up everywhere. None of that

[23:00] But there are people Hasseling you on the street to buy stuff and as for me sometimes i'm into people watching and sometimes I want to be left alone So if I want to go into a restaurant and be left alone i'll go deep into the restaurant Not out front where they've usually got tables sitting out in the sun or with umbrellas Those are the prime people watching areas and you're bound to be hassled a bit if you're on or slightly on the gringo tourist trail In some cases the ladies and kids will come up to you trying to sell you stuff every minute or two And believe me if you start looking at the trinkets and trying them on others Will gather because they figure you're in the mood for buying and everyone wants a shot at you But like I said, that will not happen to you when you're off the gringo tourist trail So then what do you do if you're into people watching and you just keep getting past it?

[23:49] Well, some gringos who know those spanish will say please don't bother me now Can't you see i'm eating or they'll say they've got all their souvenirs already or they can't fit any more stuff into their suitcases That usually doesn't deter them They've heard all that stuff a million times before and they'll always have a comeback Like for example if they're ganging up on you and you buy something from one person The rest will say now you have to buy something from me and they'll give you that well practiced sad dejected look Now i've seen expat eddie in action. He likes to play little games For example, a lady will say ten dollars for this shawl or whatever and he'll say i'll give you a dollar for it And she'll say okay eight and he'll say 50 cents and she'll say five and he'll say 25 cents He just keeps going down and it doesn't take long for her to figure out. She's gonna lose that game

[24:37] I say her because most of the vendors on the street are ladies or little kids and about eddie's little game I've watched him do it a couple times and it really throws him for a loop They're just not used to that though I've also seen when a lady is called his bluff and he ends up buying something for a buck that originally started at 10 I'm not kidding because you have to remember a lot of this stuff is handmade in a person's home With local materials they get for practically nothing So it's all labor and they have to eat too. So no matter what they sell an item for They're not exactly losing money. It may have cost them a lot of time to fabricate the thing, but they're not losing money They've actually invested in materials Whether it's made out of a piece of wood some fabric some pottery clay paint and leather strips

[25:22] If you figure it out, it's probably under 25 cents worth of stuff for whatever they're producing But no matter if you're sitting in a restaurant or a coffee shop right on a main drag You're going to get hassled though. Sometimes the more aggressive types will actually follow you deep into the restaurant and present their wares Right on the table as you sit down And it becomes a job for the waiters waitresses and restaurateurs to shoe most of these people out of the restaurant Because they will come in and hassle you if there isn't some kind of overall policy against it And believe me if you're on the tourist trail soon enough You're going to get sick of being hassled. So the trick is how to deal with it without insulting anyone or getting upset yourself Oh and beware if you see a cute little group of kids coming up to you trying to sell you little stuff like Hand-painted pencils and such sometimes the kids are so cute

[26:10] You can't resist buying something from them And if you do chances are they'll be following you around all day And if they see you tomorrow, they'll follow you around then too And once again expat Eddie has come up with a unique solution When kids start following him or us around He takes out a dollar or the equivalent of a dollar in the local funny money change. He gathers them around I'm not gonna buy anything. He says and he says it in pretty good spanish, too But i'm paying you to go away and you know what kids are not insulted by that You'll usually get a nice big smile and they're gone Except if they run into you the following day, you might have to pull the same trick But in the end, I always stick to my own personal rule Which is I never give money to anyone who's not selling at least an eraser or a pencil or even a stick of gum

[26:58] It does no good for anyone to receive money for nothing Just encourages more the same and sometimes if i'm pestered by someone just with a handout i'll say to him look Next time I walk by you if you got something to sell i'll buy it But until then i'm not giving you anything Hey, I know what I say is not going to change the world, but it's something that really needs to be said And by the way, sometimes when a really poor person is selling a piece of gum, whatever I'll give him some money way more than they asked for and not take the gum. I'll say don't worry Just sell it to the next guy You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b, you can schedule a one-on-one phone call with me But first download my free plan b questionnaire at www.thenewexpat.com

[27:47] Better yet if you want to get your plan b going from right up there in the states Just sign up for my nine hour expat essentials course Get the perfect plan b blueprint by going to the expat files.com slash academy