#846 – The Expat Files: Safety, Culture, and Practical Tips in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Alright, so the other day I'm walking along a big city in Latin America Pretty big city and I got injured or I should say more specifically my shoes and pants got injured pretty much destroyed So how'd that happen and could it happen to you walking along my in your own business here in Latin America?

[00:49] Well, here's my latest boots on the ground story. I'm in a university district So it's all campus but a lot of big roads going to and from it right in front of this university There's a six-lane highway. That's where all the action is just hundreds of people walking by all the time People dressed really smart suit and ties guys and lab coats nurses Engineering types and children are the rich with real jewelry not a hair out of place Designer clothes iPhone tens. I think they're up to that now Right and on this strip where they've got all kinds of restaurants food stores McDonald's even they've got Municipal police station a very big one. So you've got lots of cop cars going in and out There's a parking lot in there with lots of broken down police vehicles. That's usual in Latin America

[01:34] I'd say half the cop cruisers are pretty shot They look like they came from a scratch and dent sale and the other half just don't work at all missing parts No batteries alternators spare tires, you name it Yep especially when it comes to government property things go missing because you see somehow in Latin America the phrase to serve in Check means serve yourself first by helping yourself to whatever you can get and protect and hide it from the next guy Cuz he'll steal it if you don't but I digress. That's another story. Anyway, right on the main strip in front of this campus They've got a very big comp shop with tons of fat ass cops Some of them grossly overweight sitting around or standing around talking to each other and not doing dick. That's normal So anyway yesterday, I was walking by and I noticed there was lots of construction going on on the front of the building

[02:22] They were doing some repairs on the facade of the cop shop All I sudden I felt is burning on my neck and I looked up in a shower of sparks was hailing down With a pea-sized glowing chunk of metal adding on my shoe and smoking a hole through it Yep I had the proverbial hot foot then came a second round of sparks and shrapnel that put pinholes in my pants Because you see there was a guy two stories up Welding something onto the side of the building and the sparks were flying on all the people that happened to be walking along On that sidewalk below as for me. I was dressed kind of gringo cash My clothes weren't expensive or anything, but there were people walking by in three-piece suits They were getting nailed to now this guy was only welding in spurts So I guess the showers and sparks only came down every 10 or 20 minutes But do you think the groups of cops who were sitting there just yacking away with each other would say anything?

[03:12] No, in fact when I got burned I quickly walked out of range up to a couple of cops who were standing in their Gavin I gave them a what the f**k look and one of them shrugged and gave me a look back as if to say Sorry about that bud, but you live life at your own risk and you know, normally I totally agree with that sentiment That's one thing. I really like about Latin America. No nanny state. No big brother You're responsible for yourself though You'd think they'd give you some kind of advance warning a sign of barricade something So gringos and expats do be where when you're walking around you're gonna see welders Sauterers and people bust in concrete by hand with huge sledgehammers and that means on occasion There's dust and dirt and junk flying everywhere and landing on everything including you and they're not wearing any safety or protection equipment at all

[04:00] So why should they care about you? Believe me? That's not the first time I walk through an unexpected shower of welding sparks The thing is I can weld a bit myself. I used to work on my own cars I have my own welder and though my welding joints aren't very pretty they work But I take precautions and use protection and you've seen welders too Hopefully from a distance and you know, it's a dangerous profession You see the sparks flying everywhere, but the guys are properly outfitted for safety up where you come from anyway But down here you see it's done typically without a mask or gloves and there'll be hot sparks flying everywhere Oh and just one question for you social justice warriors. Where are all the women welders? I've never met one in my whole life. Oh and on that note

[04:46] I've never met a lady plumber or a rotor rooter either and those are jobs that pay 50 to 100 bucks an hour I know I know it's murder on the nails the jellish, but ladies, please 50 to 100 bucks an hour But I digress man. Did I digress anyway, so what about safety equipment? Well, it's not like it isn't provided Sure welding companies and construction outfits do supply all that stuff, but most welders just say screw it It's too hot to wear all that gear and they're used to it. That's the norm and they suffer in silence for it But man, it takes its toll especially when you see the scars on their hands and arms and the inevitable damage it does to their eyes you'd think they'd be Using helmets goggles and eye shields, but only about half of them do you've seen welders, right?

[05:32] When you weld the lights so bright if you look at it for any extended period of time It permanently damages your retina. I asked one guy welding at a body shop one day How can you stand looking at that thing? It's painful and he says, oh, I don't look directly at it Only when I first start the spark, then I look away and catch it out of the corner of my eyes I got a method, you know got it down. Hmm. I don't know about that You can't look at that thing for two seconds without little glowing spots appearing in your vision Long after you have looked away Anybody whether he's a welder or not. I'll tell you that a hot welding bead could be brighter than the Sun Why do you think people use welding goggles to look at eclipses? Have you heard of welders tan? Well, that's what you get on your face and arms if they're not protected and you're a welder up close to light

[06:22] So bright and intense you get a tan But you knew that already right or did you we've all heard that probably the most dangerous common professions are number one farming and number two Construction work. That's why there are all kinds of safety devices and clothes You're supposed to wear when you're doing that kind of work in construction You got the hard hats goggles the leather gloves masks of various types steel toed boots all kinds of stuff All of it's available down here in Latin America, too All you got to do is walk into a hardware store There are racks and racks of that crap, but almost no one uses it or at best that stuff's only used very selectively I've always thought it's kind of funny when you go to a big construction site and you see a guy with a hard hat It's usually the architect or the general contractor

[07:07] I said almost never uses a power tool or swings a hammer But he's the guy with a college degree and he knows better or maybe it's just for the photo up because when you see ads On TV for construction companies and such they always show well-dressed guys and squeaky clean hard hats But when you visit the job site almost no one's wearing one So you have to ask yourself if all that safety stuff is available. Why aren't people using it? They'll tell you it's a nuisance a hindrance and makes their job a little harder And that's why there are so many injuries on a construction job And you'd think things would be different if you could find somebody to sue and even so the Latin culture is not Litiginous so even when grunts and construction workers get hurt They rarely sue and you know throughout Latin America. There's national health care plans So people always get treated at the hospital, even though they're C grade hospitals with often medieval treatment

[07:58] Now get this into your head. No matter what you've heard about national health care systems in Latin America. They all pretty much suck I know I know international living in some of those other rags will tell you Ecuador Colombia and Costa Rica have pretty good national health care systems and gringos oughta check them out They're free for the locals and for gringos and expats beyond dirt cheap. Well, I'll lay it on you Once again, you must get private health care insurance and by all means skip the public national health care hospitals Unless you happen to get in a car accident right outside the emergency room Note that 80 to 90 percent of your average working grunts could never afford private health care So they're always on the national health care system and don't know any different They're used to long lines dirty corridors and rooms in a shortage of everything and being stuck in a waiting room for up to

[08:48] four hours at a time Now every once in a while a new political party will come in and promise to clean up the national health care system And they will for a year or so. I've seen it. For example in Ecuador They brought the system almost up to first-world snuff for two or three years. It was going great guns However, these days in 2019, it's taken two steps backward and is now in bankruptcy Though isn't it strange the top 10% of Latin Americans who have dough Never use that system. They always buy private insurance It's kind of along the same lines as fat-ass tie-in politicians in the States They've got their own private insurance plans and don't use the health care plans. They've created for the common worker Like George Carlin once said politicians have their own private club and you ain't in it

[09:38] Anyway, the good and the bad about Latin America not being a litigious society Is that almost no one gets sued even when someone gets hurt on the job which happens all the time? And though you may have heard there's been a big push for workers rights here in Latin America And in many cases workers have the upper hand especially unionized workers and where do you find unions? In minimum wage factory jobs people working at McKeelis and where else? Government jobs teachers street departments road maintenance cops firefighters mid and low-level paper pushing bureaucratic slugs Yep, they're all in unions and just recently they've had heavy laws passed protecting them However, in Latin America, they don't have traditional unions in careers like trucking

[10:23] In other words, they've got no teamsters style unions and the longshoremen and construction workers don't have a union either Which is why when a person gets injured on the construction job, sure the employer will pay for his hospitalization and stuff And when he comes back, he'll rehire him But generally he won't get sick pay or a cash settlement unless he's lost an eye or a limp Though if he's a good worker, the boss will hold his place for him. That's about all you can expect In fact, I've seen that happen on some of my own construction jobs A guy falls off the roof gets taken to the hospital stays home for a couple of weeks You don't see him again at the job and suddenly he shows up Funny thing he doesn't blame the boss the working conditions or the lack of safety gear Which is usually there for the asking but no one's asking they don't want to sue anyone

[11:09] They don't put the blame on others. In fact, most of the time we'll hear the injured guys saying it's in los manos de Dios It's in the hands of God like fate or Providence or maybe it was his own fault too much tequila the night before You know, that's one thing I like and really admire about Latino workers when something happens good or bad They get hurt on the job or they win the lottery. They take personal responsibility or say it's in the hands of God That instead of blaming someone else and tracking down a lawyer now Unfortunately unions here in Latin America have become a double-edged sword sure They helped the plight of the very poorly paid working guy and his working conditions, too But they're training the next generation of Latinos in the ways of lawyers in lawsuits Luckily, there's a lot of lag time built into that equation

[11:57] And no, you don't see much of that at all on the gringo tourist trail You're certainly starting to see it in places like Columbia, Costa Rica and Ecuador It seems on the tourist trail for every gringo. There is an equal and opposite scumbag lawyer Oh, and by the way, occasionally people say Johnny What are the downsides to living way off the gringo tourist trail and I tell them almost none In fact, that's where your gringo advantage is at an all-time high If you ask me to pick one downside, I'd have to say if you don't know Spanish You're gonna fumble around for a long time But it's also one of the quickest ways to learn Spanish because if you're not around gringos The locals won't speak English, so you'll have to sooner or later Absorb and eventually understand some level of conversational Spanish that'll happen

[12:44] Even if you're as dumb as a box of rocks So I can pretty much guarantee if you're off the gringo tourist trail for six months at a stretch Your Spanish will be good enough to talk to anyone though. As far as understanding everything the locals say that's another story because there are various dialects and city folks speak a little differently from the hayseeds out in the countryside Then you have different Latin countries that have their own accents and slang words, too Now as far as welding and busting concrete and other dangerous professions in Latin America It's only natural that Latino men have busted cement and concrete down to an arc because everything's made out of concrete stone and cement here They don't use traditional wood stud construction So when you bust a wall or have to do some remodeling man the hammers come out the big ones and it's a mess

[13:35] It's really amazing You might drive by a construction site and see a guy pounding away at a big cement slab and you drive by at noon He's still at it all the way till four o'clock when it's time to quit. You wonder how long could a gringo last at that job? Well, I know if you're a do-it-yourselfer like me You'll end up busting out concrete here and there too instead of calling someone to do it for you I'll tell you 15 minutes is enough It's too much your arms wrists and hands are gonna hurt you're gonna be covered dust and if you're not wearing safety glances You're gonna get some of that crap in your eyes and even after a few minutes of hacking away How do these guys do it day in and day out for 15 or 20 bucks a day Crazier yet is that they rarely use power tools. It's all done by hand except on those big road construction crews

[14:22] Then they'll have jackhammers, but you rarely see them anywhere else and I'll tell you there's one thing I noticed right away as soon as I got down here to Latin America I had a house and a maintenance guy when I first shook his hand It was like shaking hands with a marble statue Try it sometime shake hands with a gardener maintenance man or any guy wheeled in a machete on the street I'll tell you it's nothing like shaking the soft delicate hand of an office weenie gringo. Did I say weenie? I meant office weaned It's not that Latinos will give you a power grip they're not competing with you, but you can tell the difference and Some of them have these tiny little hands half the size of yours though Exponentially more powerful almost all the construction workers are small Wiry and don't have an ounce of fat on them and the overweight and obesity problem you're hearing so much about these days in Latin

[15:12] America and the rest of the world that's almost exclusively relegated to school kids Which is pretty sad and the types of Latinos who sit on their dead asses all day And there's something that expat Eddie just pointed out recently He's noticed that taxi drivers bus drivers and people with their own cars are almost always overweight in other words unlike Probably 80% of the rest of the population They don't walk much just like most American car owners. They'll get in their vehicle to drive two blocks to the store All right, let's change gears, but not that much. Let's talk about gringos who complain a lot Yep, there are two kinds of people in this world Complainers and people who complain about complainers. Yeah. Well when you first get down here You got those rose-colored glasses on and everything's beautiful

[15:59] You're in paradise and after a couple months you start seeing reality and that's when some of gringos and expats enter their Complain about everything phase if you end up staying down here like me the complain about everything phase does fade and you fall into Acceptance mode except when you get together with other gringos Which brings us to the subject of noise always high up on a list of gringo complaints now You know if you live in a big city in the US and you drive through a Latino neighborhood The noise levels always jacked up a few notches No doubt about it. In fact, if you walk or drive through a very quiet Latino neighborhood could be something's wrong Maybe someone died now, you know up in the states if your neighbors haven't allowed party after midnight or the dogs are barking too

[16:45] Loud next door you call the cops make a noise complaint to come over in 20 minutes and things calm down It's not a very neighborly thing to do and you don't make any friends that way But that's how gringos handle things up in the states Well, you know here in Latin America every weekend Someone's gonna be throwing a loud party in your neighborhood and the dogs will be barking during the weekend chickens roosting too And if it annoys you so much you can call the cops, but guess what? They'll never come over not unless you report gunshots or someone's died and even then they might not come for a couple hours or the next day Now suppose there is a big party in the neighborhood or next door and you don't want to call the cops that it'd be rude You walk over knock on the door and say hey, can you hold it down a bit? You know, what's gonna happen? They're gonna hand you a Cuba Libre a plate of food and push you out on the dance floor

[17:32] Because that's the way most Latinos are they don't get mad. They don't get pissed. They'll invite you in Especially if you're a gringo talk about the gringo advantage now as for me, I like peace and quiet That's why I like living out in the coffee fields However, if you live in a regular neighborhood or residential tower You'll never be able to escape the sound of reggaeton coming from somewhere and believe me I can tolerate almost anything but there are a few things. I just cannot stomach Reggaeton music and that includes those brain dead knuckle dragon morons Perpetrating that garbage and I can't stomach rap or hip-hop and the mental midget and Neanderthals in that business either Oh, and I can't stand the sight of the Obamas the bushes the Clintons Trump Maxine Waters the she need a brain transplant or what man do I complain a lot, huh?

[18:22] But that's just what we're talking about gringo and expat complainers But seriously as for me, there are very few things. I really dislike about Latin America except reggaeton And those scumbag lard ass thieving politicians. Well like a ripe garbage dump or an overfilled septic tank Politicians are everywhere and you just can't avoid them Anyway, so down here, you've got the sounds of that awful reggaeton coming at you from everywhere TV radio gas stations bars clubs Blasting from iPhones car repair shops supermarkets in taxis and Ubers, too But at least then because you're paying for the riot You can tell the guy to knock it off if you want to preserve a few brain cells Oh, and this is kind of revealing when you talk to a latino, that's over 40 almost every one of them will tell you

[19:09] They don't like ragged on either. They like the classic latin music samba salsa music even latin rock Kind of like how the over 40 crowd in the u.s Feels about rap hip-hop and popular music on the radio up there, too I don't know. Maybe there's something wrong with me I like to hear songs that have an actual beginning middle and an end played and sung by people not computers Who have actual talent? Is that too much to ask? I guess so Speaking of raggaeton music about that latin noise problem every latin country state municipality and city have noise Regulations and some have curfews too, but they're almost never enforced except when it comes to bars and discos If for example bar time is one or two or four whatever you can be sure on weekends

[19:58] Especially when a lot of people are out the cops will be around Ready to slap a hefty fine on a bar owner who serves one drink after bar time If you talk to bar owners and I have in fact, I used to own part of a bar in antigua, guatemala They'll tell you it's pressure from the local residents because bars and discos and such are usually located in high-end areas High-rent areas mostly in mixed business commercial and residential areas So residents there usually have dough especially in tourist areas gringo and otherwise And thus have friends in high places and can get those laws enforced And as for bars and discos that are not in high-rent areas or off The tourist trail the cops will still monitor a lot of those places at bar time not because the residents complained

[20:44] It wouldn't matter because they're not connected but because it's a nice source of extortion or more data money They'll for example on occasion walk in at bar time check people's ids And if they catch one person who doesn't have an idea or who is under 18 That's the general drinking age throughout latin america They'll threaten to close the bar down for a few days till the owner makes a court appearance Or they'll give them the choice to pay the fine right now And of course, that's an easy 50 or 100 bucks for the cops and that's illegal Oh, and here's a tip, you know, lots of gringos and expats Especially on the gringo tourist trail when they're going to bars discos and clubs They get extorted by the cops and it's not about you doing anything illegal or being in the bar after hours None of that what they'll do is they'll do an id check and if you don't have your id on you

[21:32] They'll tell you it's the law In fact, you've heard me say this before if you go to the us state department website It says always leave your original documents in your hotel safe or whatever Don't bring them out with you unless you absolutely need them like to drive For example, you'll need your driver's license And of course, you'll need your passport if you're at the airport or crossing borders or changing money at a bank So anyway, the police will shake down gringos and expats if they're not carrying an idea though It's illegal for them to do that But who's going to argue especially at two in the morning at a bar? Oh, and of course, this will almost always happen on the gringo tourist trail because off the trail Well, there's not enough gringos around for them to pull a stunt like that Not to mention when you're off the gringo tourist trail very few cops can speak enough english to try to extort money from you So my advice yes Leave all your original documents in your hotel safe and carry just a nice high definition

[22:23] Color copy of your passport and or driver's license or both then you're covered 100 percent It doesn't even have to be certified or notarized So then how do I know that'll work when confronted by the cops trying to pull that stunt? Well, it's happened to me a number of times So then what do you do if you don't have an idea on you? Well, you know, you're in the right and if you're a stubborn kind of gringo, you can always call their bluff and say, okay Take me down to the station I know my rights or you could say take me to my hotel and i'll get my documents out of the safe Either way you'll more than likely stonewall them because taking you to your hotel or to the station is the last thing they want to do They just want 50 or 100 bucks Now I don't want you to think that this is a common occurrence I've been in latin america over 27 years now and it's only happened to me maybe four times. So

[23:12] What that's once every seven years. Oh and every time it happened. I was in a tourist area. That should tell you a lot I found out that if a gringo or expats at a bar or disco off The gringo tourist trail and it's bar time and the cops walk in and check for ideas They'll skip the gringo completely and go around to the rest of latin people and check theirs That's part of the gringo advantage you have to see to believe They treat you with more respect than they do their own citizens when you're off the gringo tourist trail Even so we all get a little bit uptight nervous when cops walk into a place and start shaking down people But I can tell you in my 27 plus years here in latin america. It's never happened to me off the gringo tourist trail

[23:57] Speaking of carrying passports and id documents, you know, I always recommend a passport pouch I have a really cool one. Actually, I have two they're damn cheap only around 13 bucks They're rfid protected So they can't be scanned and they're absolutely perfect for traveling and comfort and still having all your documents on you when necessary But here's what I've found especially if you're traveling the lowlands and in hot tropical climates Especially when you're standing in line for an hour or so at a hot sweaty border where people are leaning and breathing on you You know that personal space thing Since that little hidden passport pouch is up against your body It's going to get moist and sweaty those things aren't impermeable. They're made to breathe So air can go in and out of them and keep the stuff fresh

[24:43] But also that means moisture will get in there too your own sweaty body moisture and natural humidity And if you've got your passport in there, which is made out of paper It's going to absorb some of that and get well monged up as will other documents like bus and airplane tickets Anything made out of paper, but I do have a fix a hack and it works really well a day or so before you leave Stop in an office supply store and buy one of those thin clear plastic cover protectors that people use for college reports It'll set you back like 50 cents What you do then is cut two pieces just slightly bigger than the size of your passport Take some transparent packing tape and make yourself a little passport holder Slip your passport and other valuable paper stuff you're going to carry in your passport pouch into that thing

[25:30] And now you've got a plastic impermeable protector so that your own sweat and tropical oozings won't penetrate into the paper Hmm tropical oozings that paints a picture, huh? Oh and for you guys and gals coming to my expat insider seminar this july I'll show you mine and how I made it No, not the tropical oozings the passport protector now before I came up with that little hack I'd always carry a paper copy of my passport and id documents folded up in my passport pouch But after about three months of constantly wearing the thing They start becoming fragile and decomposed with the humidity especially at the seams where they were folded Now my paper id copies last years in that thing By the way, if you want to know exactly which passport pouch I use send me an email the expat files at gmail.com

[26:17] Oh and a lot of times when i'm hanging around the beach or traveling in real hot areas I'll stick my paper money in that thing, too There's plenty of room because you know, there's nothing worse than pulling out a wad of wilted cash. You know what I mean? Yeah, of course None of that will happen to you if you're living or hanging around in the alti planet because it's perfect spring weather all year round It's cool. There's low humidity and you just won't sweat What i'm talking about is when you're hanging around at the beach or in a big hot sweaty city Anyway, i'll be showing all my seminar attendees that particular setup and many many more things, too Oh, and if you're thinking about signing up for my july seminar Check out the info and sign up page by going to www.thenewexpat.com And click on johnny's seminar link the early bird discounts that are in full force right now

[27:06] So do check it out and as far you past attendees who want to be repeat offenders. We always have those Remember you get an automatic one thousand dollar discount By the way, if you're wondering if my week-long seminar is worth it All you have to do is ask yourself. Why does johnny have so many repeat offenders? In fact, i've had some people as repeaters three different times if that's not the best endorsement you've ever heard I don't know what is You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b you can schedule a one-on-one phone call with me But first download my free plan b questionnaire at www.thenewexpat.com Better yet if you want to get your plan b going from right up there in the states Just sign up for my nine hour expat essentials course get the perfect plan b blueprint by going to the expat files.com

[27:57] Academy most famous