Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller shares his experiences with travel mishaps, cultural observations, and expat life in Latin America. From a travel mishap in Bogota where he lost his luggage for the first time in his travel history to cultural observations on expensive watches and the growing expat community in Pueblado, Medellin, Johnny offers a mix of humor and insight. He also delves into the economic and cultural landscape of Colombia, discussing everything from the legacy of Pablo Escobar to the cost of living and common scams. With a blend of personal anecdotes and broader observations, Johnny provides a unique perspective on expat life in the region.
Johnny begins by introducing the show, which focuses on the experiences of living, working, playing, and retiring in Latin America. He humorously comments on the prevalence of expensive watches among people in Latin America, suggesting that they are often a sign of pretentiousness. He also discusses the challenges of securing luggage, including the use of packing tape to deter theft. Finally, he transitions into discussing the district of Pueblado in Medellin, Colombia, as a growing expat destination, highlighting its pros and cons.
He then discusses the cultural and economic aspects of Colombia, particularly focusing on Medellin and Bogota. He highlights the enduring legacy of Pablo Escobar, noting that while official sources avoid publicizing his presence, his image is prevalent in informal settings like t-shirts and tours. He also addresses the high cost of living in Colombia compared to Central American countries, emphasizing the significant price difference for food items like mangoes. Additionally, he warns about common scams involving counterfeit money at airports and taxi services, especially for tourists who may not be familiar with the local currency. Johnny also contrasts the cleanliness and standards of Colombia with those of Central American countries, suggesting that the latter have lower standards of cleanliness and environmental care.
In this segment, Johnny discusses his observations and stereotypes about Central Americans, including Mexicans, and contrasts them with South American countries like Colombia and Brazil. He mentions a joke told by a Mexican friend about identifying rich and poor Mexicans by their cars. He also talks about the cleanliness and order in South America, particularly in Colombia, and contrasts it with Central America. He highlights the fashion and style in Colombia, noting that Colombian women are more fashion-conscious and have a distinct style. He also mentions his survey on the most beautiful women in Latin America, noting that Colombian women often have the hourglass figure he finds attractive.
He then discusses the fashion and lifestyle of women in South America, particularly in Colombia, highlighting the challenges they face in finding clothing that fits their hourglass figures. He mentions the high cost of living, the use of credit card debt, and the lack of solar energy adoption despite the region's abundant sunlight. He also contrasts the lifestyle in Colombia with that of Central America, noting the differences in infrastructure, social behavior, and economic conditions.
Finally, Johnny discusses cultural differences in Latin America, particularly comparing the spontaneity of Central Americans to Chileans and Argentinos. He also comments on the relationship between education and happiness in the region, noting that higher education levels seem to correlate with less happiness. Johnny highlights the dog-friendly nature of Colombia, especially in middle and upper-middle-class areas, and mentions a rare sight of a Latino male picking up dog waste. He then shifts to discussing the body types of Latinas, ranking Venezuela and the Dominican Republic as having the most curvy hourglass figures, followed by Colombia and Brazil. He also touches on the concept of high-maintenance relationships in Venezuela and Colombia, noting that while they are high-maintenance, they are not as intense as in the U.S. Finally, he concludes by inviting listeners to engage with the show and offers consultation services.
Topics
Introduction to The Expat Files, Travel mishaps and luggage issues, Cultural observations on expensive watches in Latin America, Luggage security tips, Discussion of Pueblado as an expat destination, Cultural Legacy of Pablo Escobar, Economic Cost of Living in Colombia, Tourist Scams in Colombia, Cleanliness and Environmental Standards, Stereotypes about Central Americans, Fashion and style in Colombia, Comparison of cleanliness and order in South America vs. Central America
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:16 Introduction to The Expat Files 00:00:26 Overview of the Show's Content 00:00:31 Travel Mishaps and Luggage Issues 00:01:05 Cultural Observations on Expensive Watches 00:04:11 Luggage Security Tips 00:05:10 Discussion of Pueblado as an Expat Destination 00:05:46 Sitting on a Donkey in the Coffee Fields 00:06:13 Pablo Escobar's Tour in Medellin 00:06:53 Cost of Living in Colombia 00:08:39 Airport Money Scam 00:10:40 Cleanliness in Colombia 00:11:14 Stereotypes about Central Americans and Mexicans 00:11:28 Joke about identifying rich and poor Mexicans 00:11:39 Outliers and the importance of visiting South America 00:12:08 Cultural differences between Brazil and Central America 00:12:29 Road repair and cleanliness in Colombia vs. Central America 00:13:19 Colombia's cities and fashion trends 00:14:15 Fashion and style in Colombia 00:14:59 Clothing markets and fashion in Colombia 00:16:51 Fashion Challenges in South America 00:17:12 Economic Conditions and Credit Card Debt 00:19:23 Solar Energy Adoption in Colombia 00:20:51 Cost of Living and Electricity Prices in Latin America 00:21:08 Lifestyle and Social Behavior in Colombia vs. Central America 00:22:30 Cultural Differences in Latin America and Dog-Friendliness in Colombia 00:24:35 Ranking Countries by Hourglass Body Types 00:26:36 High-Maintenance Relationships in Venezuela and Colombia
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Alright back in the saddle again missed last show because I had a little trouble in Bogota, Colombia Would you believe first time in the history of all my travels and I've been through three passports now all stamped out At least that's the history of my US passports and this is the first time ever
[00:49] That an airline has lost my luggage now I'm not saying I haven't been robbed a few times small things like a few Swiss army knives Watches cheap watches that is I don't use watches anymore Hey, we only have about 11 things on our body that tell time these days, right? That's why I think anyone who's sporting one of those Patek Philippe or Rolex or any one of those expensive chronographs It's just well a pretentious show off. In fact, I remember the ex-president of Guatemala Alfonso Portillo A real crook who stole the lot more than the next guy who did five years in prison in the US He had an expensive watch collection of over 50 watches worth three quarters of a million dollars Real man of the people huh, you know, what's funny about that?
[01:35] Have you ever been to a gambling town like Vegas or Atlantic City? They've got those pawn shops You look in the window. There's like 75 Rolexes in there and the owners pawning their Rolexes Pretentious dickheads all of them but for Latinos moving on up man You just hit one of the upscale shopping malls and you will see Rolexes who knows if they're fake or not I'm certain most of them are and those idiots sporting them. They'll make sure they're wearing a shirt That's two sizes small so that sleeves and cuffs are automatically jagged up So that Rolex is in full view There are some people in life that just need to get slapped and then there are those certain guys whose mug you see In the media all the time born with a kisser only a mother could love remember George C Scott and Carl Malden and of course Pete Townsend of the who they had kind of more nose than face
[02:25] Hey, but they had talent so they did All right And then there's those guys with a face only a mother could love that have no talent at all But made it to the top people with a face That's not exactly homely but yet you want to slap and in a more caveman like world They wouldn't be around anymore like for example, and he's the perfect example mark Sucka turd which kind of explains the look on his face Don't you think but I digress man this early in the show and I'm digressing already So anyway, the airlines lost my luggage from Panama to Bogota had some of my recording gear in there And it eventually showed up but a couple days late. So in a way, you really have to hand it the airlines I mean really have taken hundreds of air flights and only once if they lost my baggage But they found it and about getting stuff swiped out of your luggage Well, you know the baggage handlers know every trick in the book and those cheap ass cracker box zippers and locks man
[03:15] There's no use at all besides they're made so the TSA can crack them open in three seconds luggage locks What a joke, but then again, you can always have your stowed luggage shrink wrap for like 10 bucks, right? something I never do because often up to the last minute I get a kid in there and Rearrange things and if you're lucky to shrink wrap forget about it and why pray tell would I have to rearrange things? Well, because sometimes I'm carrying heavy stuff and with a stowed bag They only allow up to 23 kilograms about 45 pounds And if I'm overweight I can just pull a little something out of there and put it in my carry-on and I'm back within The limit again. Otherwise, it's a fifty to a hundred dollar surcharge You know airlines are strict on the stowaway luggage weight But they're oh so lenient when it comes to carry on as long as the size is within the requirements
[04:03] It could be well over the usual weight of 22 to 25 pounds. No one seems to Karen rarely do they ever get weighed So I don't shrink wrap my stowed piece of luggage, but I do carry roll of packing tape You know that clear stuff that's so strong and I do run about 10 turns of that packing tape around my stowed luggage It's not exactly hermetically sealed, but it's a great deterrent All you really want to do is secure the zippers and pockets because baggage handlers are pretty rough I've watched them and they don't seem to like their jobs much like my mother always said beware of people who don't like their jobs Hmm that'd take in maybe 80% of the world, huh? Oh and the second reason I use packing tape on my stowed luggage is to detour the baggage handlers from
[04:50] Swiping valuable stuff which you really should be putting in there anyway, but hey one man's smartphones and other man's doorstop, right? Anyway back in the saddle again doing this show from guess where many in Colombia I thought I'd take a swipe through for a little while since so many gringos have been piling in into the district of Pueblado That seems to be gringo heaven and that's exactly where I am right now And it's believe me so cosmopolitan and since all the retirement rags blogs and international living are all pushing Medellin, especially the district of Pueblado. They're calling it the latest greatest gringo expat retirement destination along with Cuenca, Ecuador Well today I thought to give you the good bad the ugly and the great about Pueblado Just in case you're playing on going there first I have to tell you that Medellin and in fact all of Colombia's most famous citizen is not Shakira nor Juan Valdez
[05:39] Boomers you remember that guy Juan Valdez Johnny Valdez old ranch Harrow Mountain guy with a big old sombrero Sitting on a donkey in the coffee fields We'd see him promote coffee day in and day out on boomer TV Well, he's still around or the ghost of them is still around but you know whose ghost is alive and well It's Pablo Escobar, but the city fathers of Medellin surely you don't publicize that he's the black guy They don't want you to look at even though there have been movies TV shows crime reports Dozens of books written about the guy but no official publicity Even though the most popular tour in Medellin in fact of all Colombia is a tour of Pablo Escobar's On stigs in many homes, but you won't see that in any of the official tourist rags But ask any cab driver or a man on the street, and he'll know in fact the most famous piece of tourist junk in Medellin
[06:30] Colombia are Pablo Escobar t-shirts or Specifically Pablo Escobar t-shirts with the FBI wanted poster printed on him And it says there's a 2 million US dollar reward for information leading up to the arrest and capture of mr. Escobar So when you're in Medellin you can certainly spot a tourist a mile away He or someone in his group will have a Pablo Escobar t-shirt or coffee mug Now you've heard me mention a number of times in a past show that many in Colombia and Colombian general is becoming first world expensive Well, that's true in the gringoized areas That's what always happened But here's what you didn't know even food in the big markets is to even three times as expensive as it is in Central American big produce markets for example. I've just pricing out mangoes yesterday
[07:16] They've got these big dinosaur egg-sized mangoes that you can get up in Guatemala or Salvador Even the Dominican Republic in season for around three to five for a buck Meanwhile in Colombian food and produce markets well when you're in the big city in Medellin It's a big city about four million and Bogota ten million bigger than Chicago or New York So then how many of those big mangoes could you get for a buck? Try one if you're lucky two and if you get two they won't be as big as dinosaur eggs Oh, and I ran into a neat scam when I first arrived at the Bogota and then Medellin Airport You see in Colombia about 99% of the places will not take US dollars including taxes Of course there are money changing persons and kiosks and your hotel will change your money
[08:01] But for a crap rate for example right now It's three thousand three hundred Colombian pesos to the dollar at a bank or ATM But in your hotel even a very nice first-world hotel you'll get 2,500 to the buck if you do the math you'll see your hotel is skimming 25% off the top 25% At least the money-changing kiosks on the street and at the airport will give you 3,000 to the buck They take about 9 or 10 percent. That's a pretty stiff skim, too But now here's the airport scam like I said taxi drivers resist taking US dollars Which is why they have so many money-changing boots and ATMs at the airport So you get off the plane you go to one of the official money changers kiosk You know in the airport or an ATM and let's say you just changed a hundred bucks and you got three hundred thousand pesos
[08:48] Remember at the bank and the ATM you'll get three hundred and thirty thousand and they'll give it all to you in big bills Because that's what you want and it's pretty even number the big bills in Colombia being fifty thousand peso notes That's about sixteen or seventeen US dollars now the normal taxi ride from the Medellin Airport to the city to Pablo Oh, that's the gringo district is about seventy five thousand pesos That's close to 25 bucks. And of course, you don't have that in exact change So you'll give him two fifty thousand notes and he'll give you twenty five thousand back, right? Well, that's the scam Taxi drivers can spot a gringo in a second and not just because he can't speak Spanish and in the mix of your change He'll slip a twenty thousand peso note. That's a counterfeit But of course house a tourist in a foreign country gonna know that the same thing just might happen if the cab driver accepts your dollars
[09:38] Let's say you give them a 50 give you twenty five bucks change in pesos And you'll be glad to get it because you don't have any of the local funny money That's where you just might get slipped a counterfeit or two Especially if your plane comes in at night where people are coming in are all worn out and frazzled from layovers and lines TSA loose bowels lump in the stomach from that pre-digested airplane food You know what a travel day is like and when you arrive at 11 12 or 1 in the morning Hell you just want to get to your hotel or any hotel or jump in the shower Or maybe skip that and go straight to bed. So for late arrivals at airports That's when the counterfeit money scam works best now once you get out of the doors of the airport There's no official place to change money, but there are always guys hanging around who'll do it for you
[10:23] My suggestion don't buy it cuz you'll be right for the scam there, too Now I'm not saying all those guys are scammers, but there are enough stories going around that I wouldn't take the chance All right. Another thing I noticed in Bogota, Medellin and really all over Columbia except Cartagena Because it's really just a gigantic beach town You'll find Columbia's by far cleaner than any of the Central American countries You'll visit for one thing they're more educated more college degrees They care more about the environment and cleaning up their own backyard Or maybe it's that they put more money into garbage pickup Well, you know all you have to do is go to a big city like Cleveland or Chicago in to the Latin district and You'll see where all those bad habits came from mostly Central Americans not South Americans and you know Chile Ecuador and Argentina have higher standards of cleanliness to the people seem to be just much more tidier
[11:14] So yes, I'm more than willing to stereotype Central Americans including Mexicans. They're probably worse than any They don't give a rat's ass about keeping their own house in order Hey, that reminds me of a joke a really good Mexican friend of mine told me way back in high school He said how can you tell a rich of Mexican from a poor one? The rich ones got two cars up on blocks in the driveway Alright that calls for a pregnant pause Sure, there are always picky Central American outliers that are clean freaks But I certainly haven't met many of but I'll tell you it's true and I dare you to come down to South America yourself They really seem to have developed higher standards than their Central American counterparts So the old saying po folks have po habits only works It seems for Central Americans with the exception being Brazil Brazilians are pretty damn scruffy
[12:03] They belong right in the same stereotypical bracket as Central Americans as far as cleanliness and order But you know, it's a completely different culture because their original roots were Portuguese So for example, even the lower middle-class scruffy neighborhoods in Colombia are nicer than a lower middle-class Scruffy neighborhoods in Guatemala Honduras Panama El Salvador Mexico Even Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic and another thing in Colombia They spend a lot more money on road repair than they do in any of the countries in Central America or Mexico Now compared to Central America and Mexico unless we're talking about a new road more often than not There are gaping holes and manhole covers missing. That's why I advise don't drive at night Oh, what's that? I hear from the peanut gallery. You can't say manhole cover anymore
[12:52] Well, I challenge you to come down and look me in the eye and say that and I'll do a mo Howard I poke on you. Oh and here's another thing just in the last month the floodgates of pissed off Americans have opened I'm getting emails like crazy from people saying Johnny. I've had it up to here I got to get out of the US and my answer What the hell took you so long to getting around to get that plan be gone, you know every day It's getting worse and worse. I hate to say I told you so so I won't but I did Suggest at least a thousand times that you got to get that plan be going but back to the good bad ugly and the great in Colombia specifically Bogota Medellin now as mentioned there are society that's much more Educated than Central Americans in general the Argentines are to the Brazilians right next door. Nope They're largely stuck 30 or 40 years in the past educationally speaking
[13:41] So then as far as Medellin and Bogota the places you and other gringos might want to live work play and or hang out Well, they've got some fantastic brand new malls that are practically cities in themselves and amazingly enough You'll see that the women and most of the guys are almost always in style in talking to some of the locals down here You'll find just like you find up in Central America Most of the women and men spend all their dough on clothes and discos Of course, it's a lot easier to do because most Latinos under 30 live with their parents, but it's true here in Colombia They really do look sharp in Spanish It's called la Moda the mode or the fashion and man to Colombians, especially the girls know how to dress But here's the thing in Central America the clothing market for ladies mostly is saturated with items coming from China
[14:30] You know the deal right got the same thing up in the states Even though there are hundreds of clothing Makila's throughout Central America The fact is those clothes end up being shipped to the states and the locals can't afford the real designer labels So they buy the Chinese knockoffs now is for South America specifically. We're talking about Columbia They've got the lower-end districts and lower-end malls where you can get the Chinese stuff But in the middle class and upper middle class malls There's a surprising number in fact a huge number of clothing stores and outlets With just some really fashionable clothes and accessories that are made right there in Colombia. They say right on the door It show in Colombia. In fact, you know those famous Colombian women powerglass figures are Responsible for most of the reason why they wear clothes made in their own country because the Chinese stuff that comes in is made
[15:19] For North American and European bodies as you know certain Latina body types don't much exist up in the states Meanwhile in the last year or so I've been doing a poll I kind of a subjective body style survey because people are always asking me who are the most beautiful girls in Latin America What countries and cities are they located in now? I ask you who better to put together a survey like that, but yours truly I'd go to a coffee shop in a mall or outside of a busy business district I'd look at body types logically like an engineer would do now We all know what a full figure Latina woman looks like, you know, Sofia Vergara even half of JLo The bottom half you get the picture What I've been doing off and on now for about a year now been traveling quite a bit
[16:05] I count the average-looking girls as they went by, you know One two, three four five and so on until one of those hourglass full-figured girls walk by you rarely see that body type up in The state so they're easy to spot as it turns out about every 15 to 20 Colombian ladies had a Sofia Vergara type extreme hourglass figure the reason I'm bringing this up now because you don't know how many emails I have in The archives from guys saying Johnny, where can I find the most beautiful shapely voluptuous yada-yada? So anyway about three months ago I did the same thing in Panama sat down in Panama City coffee shops malls and stuff and did the count now Remember all girls and guys have their beautiful and not so beautiful parts. So I wasn't looking for pure beauty I'm just looking for this so-called Colombian style hourglass figure now in Panama
[16:51] It seemed to average out about one in every 20 to 25 ladies Now you have to know what I'm talking about that tiny little waist big bust big but let's put it this way You wonder where they can find clothes to fit a figure like that and how they ever managed to fit into those jeans They must a either have a personal tailor and believe me That's not the case They don't make that kind of money or be by clothes made in Colombia where the market is now in this little straw poll I've been taken through various countries Now remember this study is in the interest of science only after I received many many curious emails from gringos and even a few gringos So it did take a lot of emails for me to start this endeavor with any kind of seriousness at all now Where were you? Oh, yeah, and I'm not delineating whether these ladies came by those extreme hourglass figures through genetics
[17:41] Or they've been artificially pumped up. My job as an impartial observer is to check the facts and the figures Mostly the figures tough job, but someone's got to do it, right? And it's true here in South America Anyway, there's a whole lot of surgeries going on mostly if not exclusively on the payment plan, too Because and here's another thing that's hard to believe since the people are so well-dressed You wonder how the average person could get the dough to do that since the minimum wage in Colombia and most of South America Is pretty much exactly the same as the minimum wage in places like El Salvador Guatemala Honduras Dominican Republic, etc around 300 bucks a month Maybe a little more the question is how do the ladies and even the guys dress in fashion on that kind of salary?
[18:28] Much less get a little lipo on the side or more likely in the front. Well again, it's good old credit card debt Everyone's maxed out. However, unlike up in the first world people don't seem to be too stressed out about it And people working at the banks here will tell you almost no one's got anything in a savings account sound familiar so bottom line if you're thinking about Bogota or all-time gringo favorite Medellin as Compared to doing your plan being Central America. The roads are nicer and cleaner way less garbage A lot fewer road hazards and potholes and in general a much more cosmopolitan style of living But it comes at a price. For example, if you want to buy a really nice two-bedroom apartment Let's say 1,200 square feet. Those things are 200 grand enough. There's a real estate bubble for sure
[19:15] Mega construction going on because they're expecting all the gringos in Europeans to flock in continuously like they're doing now Here's something you'll never read about I've been staying in a couple of high-rise hotels and Airbnb's on upper levels and I've noticed something almost no one's talking about There seems to be an extreme shortage of rooftop solar panels and rooftop solar water heaters, etc In fact, just yesterday afternoon. I took a 360 degree survey of the rooftops from a rooftop gym on an eight-story building And I couldn't find one single solar panel And I was looking at hundreds of buildings and houses and of all the hundreds of storefronts I walked past in business districts. I didn't see one advertising solar or solar power and I'm thinking what the hell's going on over here? I've got unlimited amounts of Sun
[20:03] I mean Columbia the equator goes right through the southern part of it and you've got the two biggest cities Bogota and Medellin At 4,000 feet and up elevation, so they're considered in their own small altiplano So you've got perfect weather and intense solar radiation because the air is thinner at higher elevations yet No solar and I'm thinking what the hell is wrong with these people then? I thought you have to go back to the source About 80 to 90 percent of all solar panels are made in China designed in the states usually but made in China and as mentioned before Containers are coming from China every day with goods But they haven't completely taken over the market like they have up in the first world and in Central America, too In any event, there's a huge opportunity for anyone who wants to get solar business down here because you know
[20:48] Electricity is not cheap anywhere in Latin America It's much more expensive than up in the states except where it's subsidized and socialized That would be Cuba and Venezuela. And of course having the government own your electrical utilities means you have equal opportunity power outages, too Lots of them now talking about the good bad ugly and the great Here's another problem if you own a car in Bogota or Medellin You're only allowed to drive it every other day because they've got so much air pollution going down Actually, the cars and trucks are in very good condition compared to Central America You almost see no junkers on the road But you see both of those cities are in a bowl surrounded by mountains So pollution builds up fast, but the drivers are just as crazy as they are in Central America In fact within one hour. I saw two accidents semi wiping out passenger car and something
[21:39] I've never seen before a taxi hitting a pedestrian I mean hard that certainly bollocks up things on the road for an hour or so And another thing I noticed about Colombians with all their newfound wealth social climbing and fashion sense They don't seem to be quite as happy as the poorer people you see in Central America In fact, it seems they're less excitable less likely to break out into laughter or sing or tell jokes on street corners Who knows why that is? But I was with two people from Panama and both of them made the comment that the only place Colombians get a little wild and crazy is at night at the discos Whereas in Panama and most other medium and large cities in Central America You'll see people on street corners laughing hugging slapping each other on the back telling jokes with music virtually everywhere
[22:25] Blaring out of cars storefronts houses everywhere. Don't get me wrong the Colombians love music They're just more civilized about it and believe me the girls can dance and the guys too It just seems like they Chileans and Argentinos seem to be a little bit less spontaneous than Central Americans It's funny too that in Latin America the higher the education level seems to be the less happy It's as if the more education you have the bigger your treadmill. Here's another thing about Columbia. They are totally dog friendly I mean, you can go to any mall or any store and see people walking their dogs I'm leashes, of course and very clean and well-behaved to not just poodles and chihuahuas either I've seen some big ones now. I'm talking about seeing dogs in middle and upper middle class malls I don't know about the low-end malls. I doubt it because again, po people have po habits and po people with dogs
[23:16] Well, that means dogs more or less will do what they want and you can't have much of that in a shopping mall and related To that I saw something for the first time in all of Latin America a Latino male picking up his dogs poo Oh, I'm not talking about in the shopping mall saw dogs, but no poo there Like I said those middle and upper middle class shopping malls are spic and span speaking of shopping malls I happen to be standing in the doorway of forever 21, you know, that's everywhere right forever 21 Just when you think you've seen everything I saw two Catholic nuns in there checking out the clothes Yep, I got a picture talk about liberal. Does the Pope know about this? Well, who knows we've all heard stories about nuns having something on the side I mean hell priest do it who knows what goes on beneath those flowing robes I can only imagine that second thought better not but I digress as usual though
[24:05] Not too much since lingerie does tie into that Stereotypical concept of the curvy hourglass Latina shape So I was talking about my unofficial straw pole analysis of which Latin countries have the curviest girls with the best hourglass shaped figures Or the greatest percentage of hourglass shaped figures Well, you know, I've been putting together data for some months now And here's my tally my breakdown the lat country with the highest percentage of curvy hourglass figures By far Venezuela by my count sitting in the malls cafes business areas mostly off the gringo tourist trail almost exclusively off the tourist trail I'm seeing about one in ten or twelve Venezuela's with that kind of shape But you know in the mind of a first world gringo or gringo up in the states
[24:52] Who only sees women like that on TV or in beauty pageants or in the media you think the percentage would be a lot higher? That's something like seven percent of girls in that age category Like I said, just giving you the facts and figures here and then we've got the latin country that comes in a close second Take a guess Dominican Republic now in addition to the fact that in the Dominican Republic They've got some of the greatest hourglass shapes in the world There's that extra little spice of a touch of African descent So the girls come in all colors and hairdos to whereas in Colombian Venezuela The stereotypical girl with the hourglass shape is almost always light-skinned in much more European looking Of course the hairstyles and shapes are all over the place these days because well girls like to change up all the time It's interesting
[25:38] I found the only other country besides Dominican Republic where the guys and gals come in all rainbow colors and Natural hairstyles is Brazil. However, you longtime listeners. No, I don't recommend Brazil to live play work and or retire Alright as for that straw poll of the girls with the hourglass shapes country number one Venezuela number two Dominican Republic number three Colombia number four Panama and of course Brazil as for the other 15 Latin countries. They're not even in the running All right. So there you have it my personal superficial analysis of extreme Latina body types the analysis undertaken by popular demand And I mean popular when let's touch on the subject of high-maintenance Used to be according to a lot of my friends when Venezuela was on the up-and-up and oil was booming
[26:26] 15 20 years ago Most of my friends both gringo and latino hood gone to Venezuela and found themselves in the mating and dating game Well back then they found the ladies they're very high maintenance But not anymore because the country's in the crapper and you know that affects people's standards now However, since Colombia is booming same thing everyone I know both gringo and non gringo who find themselves in the middle of the Colombian mating dating game are crying high maintenance Especially if they found their mates on Colombian Cupid sites But admittedly high maintenance in Latin America is nothing like high maintenance up in the states All right, we're getting towards the end of the show now and I expect to get a poop load of hate mail Well bring it on ladies Just remember the name of the show is the expat files living in Latin America and we'll touch on
[27:13] Everything and anything that has to do with living working playing and or retiring and that will include Sometimes talking about offbeat subjects that you won't hear anywhere else For example, how is it that some latin ladies have body parts that seem to defy gravity? Is it real or is it memorix? You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com