Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller dives into the unique aspects of expat life in Latin America, from the culture of backpackers to the peculiarities of daily living. He discusses the absence of modern conveniences like bathtubs and garbage disposals, the prevalence of quart-sized beers, and the challenges of adapting to local customs. Johnny also touches on shark encounters, travel recommendations, and the cost of living in various Latin American countries. A must-listen for anyone considering expat life or backpacking in the region.
Johnny begins by discussing the culture of backpackers in Latin America, highlighting their habits and the commonality of finding them in low-end hostels and cheap restaurants. He notes that quart-sized beers are a favorite among backpackers due to their affordability and the opportunity to share with others. Johnny also touches on the unique aspects of living in Latin American homes, such as the absence of bathtubs and garbage disposals, which are uncommon and often met with fear or superstition.
He then moves on to discuss the range of living conditions he has experienced, from dirt-floor tin shacks to expensive mansions, emphasizing the lack of modern conveniences like bathtubs and garbage disposals. Johnny mentions the presence of bidets in some upscale homes and shares a humorous anecdote about Captain Mango's bidet-related incident. He also comments on the availability of first-world appliances in certain regions, noting that many are unused due to fear or mishandling by cleaning staff.
The episode transitions into a story from Woody about a clueless backpacker who, while camping near San Francisco, encounters a great white shark, mistaking it for a tree due to its texture. The story ends with the backpacker overcoming his fear and returning to water sports in Costa Rica. Johnny concludes by addressing the prevalence of shark attacks in Latin America, acknowledging the irony of being a Jehovah's Witness who avoids humans but not sharks.
In another segment, Johnny discusses the perception of sharks in Latin America, noting that while there are many shark species, only a few are dangerous to humans. He highlights the irrational fear of sharks, comparing it to more common dangers like car accidents or bee stings. He also mentions the low likelihood of being attacked by a shark, even when swimming, and contrasts it with more common risks like being killed by a dog. Johnny then shifts to answering an email from Damien, who is considering traveling to Brazil, Colombia, and Costa Rica. He recommends these destinations for vacation but warns about the safety issues in Brazil, particularly with theft. He also mentions the cost of living in Colombia and the importance of budgeting for expats.
The episode continues with a discussion on the cost of living in various Latin American countries, highlighting that while places like Colombia and Costa Rica are more expensive, most of Latin America, including Brazil, is more affordable. Johnny also addresses the topic of hourglass-shaped women, explaining that in countries with a high indigenous population, such as Mexico and Central America, the body shape is typically more square or rectangular, referred to as 'quadrada.' In contrast, countries like Venezuela, Colombia, Panama, and the Dominican Republic have a higher prevalence of hourglass figures. Johnny also mentions the impact of 5G technology and offers advice on how to minimize exposure to 5G radiation. Finally, he responds to an email from a listener named Mike, who is planning to attend his seminar in January and has questions about 5G, running in Guatemala, and the best places to live or travel.
In another segment, Johnny discusses the challenges of expat life, particularly focusing on the bureaucratic hurdles and the importance of personalization when planning to live or travel abroad. He highlights the time and cost involved in administrative processes, such as obtaining certified copies, and emphasizes that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to where the best places to live or travel are. Instead, he stresses the need for individuals to create a detailed wish list that includes factors like budget, lifestyle preferences, and specific needs. He also promotes his consulting services, offering phone or Skype consultations to help expats develop a personalized plan, and invites listeners to contact him for more information.
Topics
Backpacker culture in Latin America, Daily life and infrastructure in Latin American homes, Cultural differences and expat experiences, Living conditions, Modern conveniences, Appliances in different regions, Shark encounters, Backpacking experiences, Shark attacks in Latin America, Perception of danger vs. actual risk, Travel recommendations for Brazil, Colombia, and Costa Rica, Expatriate life and budgeting
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:06 Johnny's Personal Connection to Latin America 00:00:14 Welcome to The Expat Files 00:00:20 Overview of the Show's Content 00:00:26 Introduction to the Topic of Backpackers 00:00:31 Johnny's Observations on Backpackers 00:00:37 Johnny's Personal Preference for Privacy 00:00:40 Johnny's Interaction with Backpackers 00:05:26 Living Conditions and Modern Conveniences 00:10:32 Shark Encounters in Latin America 00:10:43 Introduction to the shark topic and initial reactions to the question about sharks in Latin America 00:10:47 Discussion on the cultural and social context of shark fears in Latin America 00:10:53 Johnny's observation on the frequency of shark-related questions from expats 00:10:57 Johnny's personal experience with signs related to natural dangers in Latin America 00:11:02 Johnny's comparison of shark risks to other common dangers 00:11:07 Johnny's mention of the low likelihood of shark attacks and the role of scuba divers 00:11:13 Johnny's statistical comparison of shark attacks to other risks like car accidents and bee stings 00:11:21 Johnny's humorous take on the fame of being bitten by a shark 00:15:59 Soft Landing Experience in Latin America 00:16:12 Cost of Living in Latin America 00:16:30 Guatemala as a Plan B Destination 00:16:45 Hourglass Figure Ladies in Latin America 00:18:17 Indigenous Blood and Body Shape 00:19:08 Email from Mike and 5G Discussion 00:20:36 Minimizing 5G Exposure 00:21:08 Aftermarket Products for 5G 00:21:44 Reducing EMF Exposure with Ethernet Cables 00:22:08 Personal Experience with Low EMF Exposure 00:22:49 Comparison Between El Salvador and Guatemala 00:24:03 Documents Required for Residency 00:26:18 Administrative Hurdles for Expat Life 00:27:06 The Need for Personalized Expat Planning 00:27:36 Consulting Services for Expat Planning
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wander Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started You know Latin America is just chock full of backpackers. Although I've never done it myself I've never had the desire to share a room with someone I don't know much less a bathroom But still they're pretty interesting people in my office sit down have a cup of coffee with one or two
[00:46] Oh and you can always spot a backpacker from a distance besides the uncomfortable pack He's got on his back when they're in a restaurant or diner Whatever there are almost always quart size beers on the table except during breakfast Of course that would denote a real alky You see quart beers are the absolute preference of backpackers because for one thing you get the volume discount There's so much cheaper And if you buy one you can share it with all the other cheap ass backpackers hanging around at the same cheap ass joints In other words, it won't cost you much to be friendly and kind to people You don't even know or you just met by circumstance because they happen to be backpackers hanging in the same hostels and unsanitary Greasy spoons that you do that is if you're a backpacker or a skin flint yourself By the way, if you ever want to locate where all the backpackers are hanging besides going to a low-end hostel
[01:34] Just ask someone in whatever Latin town you happen to be in Where's the very cheapest rat gut Chinese restaurant because you see when backpackers first land in any town Right after they check into their hostel That's usually the first thing on the agenda and I do believe there are more low-end unsanitary Rot-gut Chinese restaurants in Latin America than any other place on earth even China So anyway, I'd like to hear what backpackers have to say So sometimes I'll buy him a coffee or a beer or just eavesdrop on a park bench or in a restaurant or in one of those Confounding government or bank lines because you know, everyone gets stuck in those lines eventually They're the great equalizer and man after talking to so many of these guys and gals I have built up a huge backlog of clueless backpacker stories
[02:20] And occasionally I get emails too from backpackers who tell me some very strange stories and man Do I have one for you today? But first speaking of backpackers and having to share a bathroom There's something unhealthy about using communal soap and picking someone else's hairballs out of the sink and there's something else I never understood in Spanish. It's called el banyo banyo is bathroom comes from the root word banyar Which means to bathe. All right. Now, here's the thing. Here's my observation I don't think it all my 30 years here in Latin America. I've ever been into a Latin bathroom where they had a bathtub I'm serious They do not have bathtubs in Latin America Even if you buy yourself a brand new upscale condo or a beautiful penthouse apartment in a residential tower
[03:05] You're not gonna get a bathtub unless you specifically ask for one when the builders on the job In fact, I'd say only one out of a thousand homes actually has a bathtub could be ten thousand funny thing is I've been into upscale homes where they've got a really nice jacuzzi even big ones that hold six or ten people but They still haven't got a bathtub in the house That's not to say when you go into the plumbing department in an hour store that you won't see bathtubs It's even all the time. They sell everything down here Just like they sell garbage disposals everywhere, too But I've never ever seen anyone except myself and a few gringos who insisted on having them So they ordered them special. I mean look garbage disposals are 50 year old technology And that stuff's pretty much standard issue in middle and upper middle-class houses in the states, right?
[03:52] You gotta have a garbage disposal and to tell you the truth That's why I think there are so many drainage problems here in Latin America besides the fact that the plumbing is always undersized Problem is what doesn't go into the kitchen garbage receptacle goes down the drain If you haven't got a garbage disposal, you know what that means In fact when I first came down and installed one in my own kitchen, my cleaning lady wouldn't go near the thing I showed her how it worked and everything and when I turned it on she backed off a few steps Like I just pulled a pin on a hand grenade since the early days I've had many houses and residences since then and they've all had garbage disposals and I installed them all personally Why because I never met a plumber in Latin America who ever installed one either So if you do buy one and have a plumber install it you're gonna be the guinea pig So all these years in various houses, I've had garbage disposals, but in all honesty
[04:38] I never heard the telltale sign of the motor kicking in unless I was turning the thing on myself My cleaning ladies steered clear. They just didn't want to touch it Why they're afraid of those things now, I don't know if it's because they've seen too many Chucky movies Yep, they've got them down here too pretty badly dubbed I must say by the way, I've never seen a Chucky movie for that matter a Freddy movie And about trash compactors they sell them down here to not so many places but an upscale hardware stores In First World franchise hardware stores like Ace Hardware and an upscale kitchen stores, too They've got lots of those places in very nice neighborhoods here Yep, you go to a high-scale kitchen shop in a mall and you'll see trash compactors That's another thing they sell down here, but I've never ever seen one in a person's house
[05:24] Even after all these years and you know I've been in dirt floor tin checks all the way up to ten million dollar mansions and still no bathtub No garbage disposal. No trash compactor However, I've been in a few older upscale apartments and houses where they have in a master bathroom a matching bidet No bathtub, but a bidet. In fact, Captain Mango had one in his last apartment In fact, if I recall one night he had a war with it and the tequila won Actually, you know when you think about it a bidet is a very good idea Hmm. Can you think of any other good ideas? The French came up with besides the croissant champagne and the guillotine Now, of course, we all know that stuff you can do without you know, the bathtub garbage disposal trash compactor and the guillotine
[06:10] But man three cheers for first-world conveniences, huh? When you can get them that goes for dishwashers too and these big Home Depot style hardware stores They sell them and they've also got Sears down here in Costco And by the way, the name down here for Costco is price smart price smart. Why they picked that name I don't know. I wonder why they didn't pick a Spanish name because people don't speak English here People know what it is, but they have no idea what the name means the But where were we? Oh, yeah talking about appliances that are available down here But almost no one installs and when they do they go unused Well, I have to say in upscale homes and upscale condos and townhouses They will have a dishwasher but I'd say only one out of maybe a hundred of them that are installed are in use because the cleaning lady is either
[06:59] Terrified of using the thing or more likely she did give it a try when it first was installed and ended up with some Kind of disaster on her hands as for me when I'm living in a place permanently or somewhat semi permanently I'll almost always insist on a dishwasher though. I don't use it too much I use it to sterilize stuff You know a couple of times a year you air out the cupboard to take the dishes and plates and containers You haven't used for months and months. You give them a run through the dishwasher along with your toothbrush once in a while That's a good idea and everything can go back on the shelf spig and span not to be used for another six months or a year Hmm, hopefully your toothbrush won't suffer that fate, but I am digressing and it's pretty early in the show to start digressing, isn't it? Anyway, I've got this email from woody talking about clueless backpacker stories. Listen to this one. It just might take the cake
[07:44] He says Johnny my brother-in-law was raised a Jehovah Witness He is a dyed in the wool backpacker has been all over the place Oddly enough even though he's backpacked through Latin America and other places being a Jehovah's Witness He doesn't really seem to have the first clue about the natural world as in animal behavior and stuff You won't believe it But here's what happened to him once when he was backpacking and just kind of hanging out north of San Francisco He and some friends went camping on the beach You could still do that back then and the weather was perfect that night The water was warm and calm and he asked one of his new friends if he could borrow one of their wetsuits and go For a swim in the middle of the night He wanted to see some seals and sea lions who were often hanging out there We're talking about north of San Francisco at the beaches of West Santa Rosa
[08:31] Well, he swam out there were sea lions everywhere They were barking and splashing and coming pretty close to him and even though there were five times his size They were docile and friendly So he was loving every minute of it and wished he'd had a night vision camera or a GoPro But they were a new item back then and few people had him then quite suddenly He said the sea lions started making a very strange bark and they all vanished Then next thing you know something bumped him on the side gave him a little push Then he realized it's very large and a rough object in his mind He thought it was a redwood tree or log or something that was floating long And he reached out with his hand to feel it instead It was like really rough sandpaper with coarse grains then he thought to himself hmm trees Don't feel like this So he reached his hands over the top of it to see if he could wrap his arms around it
[09:20] This guy's six foot two So he's got a big reach but he can't reach over the top and touch his hands The thing's girth was too wide Then he tried to reach around and feel the bottom of it and couldn't feel where the round part of the bottom began Then the object vanished just as quietly and as suddenly as it appeared He waited around in the water a while and the sea lions never came back So next day he's reading the local newspaper And there's a story on the front page about a fishing boat that had a close encounter with a 21 foot great white shark And he just about pooped his pants on the spot Now he knows for sure that object that scared the sea lions off and had the texture of a really coarse sandpaper Was indeed a great white and by trying to measure the girth of that thing He figured it was at least a 21 footer and after that day, which was some years back
[10:08] He swore he would never go into the water again. Not even a swimming pool He thought jojoba was kind enough to save him once but probably not twice. But as they say time heals all wounds Guess what he's in costa rica right now doing water sports living on the beach and most of the time in the water It's as if what happened before was in another life Yes, johnny such is the life of a clueless backpacker. My sisters got her hands full Which leads me to the obvious question. Johnny. What about sharks in latin america? Seems like every couple of weeks you're reading the news that some american somewhere has been attacked or even eaten by one Just wondering johnny signed woody. Well woody. Thanks for that But seems rather strange if you're a jojoba witness, you're not allowed to dance with humans, but with sharks But you know the question about sharks here in latin america comes up more than you think
[10:57] And believe me, it's never the locals asking the question. It's always gringos. Are there sharks? Are there sharks? Well, i'll tell you this i've been practically everywhere in latin america and many times I see signs that say Beware of falling coconuts. I even saw a sign once that said beware of jellyfish I've never seen a diagram depicting nor a sign saying beware of sharks nor have I ever met anyone who even had a story about a shark Except for scuba divers, of course, you know They're looking for them and though some swimmers and people on the beach say they've seen a fin But most of the time they're mistaken besides of the dozens and dozens of species of sharks Only three or four will attack humans now as far as your odds of being attacked or killed by a shark This will put things in perspective. Did you know that in? 2017 73 people died while taking a selfie which is probably a good thing
[11:46] That's darwinism in action, right? Look, do we really want those people reproducing? And the number of people killed in 2017 by sharks try four Though I gotta say if you get bit by a shark and you survive which is usually the case By the way you and those bite marks definitely get your 15 minutes of fame In fact for most people that's the highlight of their life one thing's for sure everywhere you go You'll be asked to exhibit your symptoms and you'll always be the life of the party now I know people are irrational and there's all kinds of shark hysteria out there ever since jaws Now speaking of the lifetime odds of being killed in strange situations or under odd circumstances How about this your lifetime odds of dying in a car accident are one in 110 being killed in your lifetime by an accidental gunshot About one in eight thousand if you live in the ghetto and about one in a hundred thousand if you don't as of being killed
[12:37] By a bee sting in your lifetime one in eighty thousand by an earthquake one in a hundred ten thousand by a flesh eating bacteria That's a new hysterical biggie these days, right one in a million a shark attack in your lifetime Well, if you don't swim never but if you swim one in three point seven million likelihood in your lifetime of being killed by a terrorist One in forty six million and my personal favorite your lifetime chance of being drowned in a bathtub One in eight hundred and forty thousand unless you live in latin america, then it's zero because they don't have bathtubs in latin america Well, here's a stat that'll make you crack a smile Did you know that in your lifetime you're 30 times more likely to be killed by a dog? Than a shark and they say dogs are a man's best friend. I guess einstein said it best
[13:23] Quote two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and i'm not sure about the universe And einstein even though he was the most brilliant mind of the 20th century didn't get everything right Here's a guy considered the most brilliant thinker of the 20th century No doubt the poster child for the definition of genius yet The guy couldn't hold his love life together was divorced a couple times and tons of trouble with women So what's that say about the human condition reminds me of another expat eddie saying Smart and business stupid in love All right enough said about sharks dogs and coconuts. Let's have another email This one's from damien in st. Pete florida. He says good evening. Johnny I have recently renewed my passport after doing nothing with it for 10 years And i've started looking into taking a vacation in brazil during the first week of september
[14:10] I heard you mentioned the fact that brazil is scratched off your plan b relocation list Do you even recommend visiting brazil just to visit he says brazil costa rica and columbia are the countries i've been considering visiting However, if you don't recommend any of those three countries Do you recommend guadamala as a place to visit when you are not having your seminar? And my final question is do you see a fair number of hourglass shaped ladies in guadamala like you do in other countries? By the way, also, please send the water filtration system that you mentioned Thanks, johnny damien from st. Pete. All right, damien Just a quick overview of brazil columbia and costa rica all three are great places to take a vacation However, if I was in brazil i'd stick to the all-inclusive resorts because the place is crawling with thieves and opportunities
[14:55] Even in the tourist spots. You really have to look up That's where the more sophisticated crooks and pickpockets hang because they know gringos and expats and europeans coming for vacation Arrive wearing rose colored glasses and a good percentage of them will let their guard down That's what happens when the sights smells culture and ambience are completely different from your own Now as far as costa rica, I lived there a couple years long time ago But I would never recommend that as a plan b destination Never though. It is a great place to go for a week or two on vacation And as for columbia, I like it a lot I could live there and be happy but in many places It's first world expensive So you always have to weigh your nest egg in your budget because if you got a lot of money Let's say a million dollar nest egg in a pension plan, whatever you can live a really nice first world life practically anywhere But honestly, I think probably 90 percent of the people that listen to this program
[15:44] Would like to live the life of a first world person on maybe a thousand to three thousand dollars a month Which is the definition of poverty in the first world Which brings us back to columbia to live a nice first world life there where the gringos are on the gringo trail because most people Well, at least they get started by doing their plan beyond the gringo tourist trail as a soft landing kind of experience Especially if they don't speak spanish and 99 percent of gringos don't the thing is if you do end up on the gringo trail In columbia, you're probably going to need about 2500 to 3000 dollars a month to live like a first world person You'll need even more dough in costa rica Whereas in most of the rest of latin america including brazil you only need maybe a thousand to two thousand a month I'm being real general with those numbers here
[16:30] As far as guadamala damien, I don't get why you're asking me if guadamala is a good place to visit when i'm not doing my seminar Guadamala remains the same whether i'm doing the seminar there or not Either way, it's one of my top picks for one of the best plan b destinations you can think of However, if one of your contingencies as you mentioned is to find hourglass shaped ladies You'll find that in guadamala mexico honduras el solvador Nicaragua almost all of central america except for panama The hourglass figure lady phenomena is not at all as well represented as are the countries of venezuela columbia Panama and the dominican republic now if you want to get scientific and technical as to the real reasons Besides the fact that plastic surgeons are having a heyday in those four countries It's the fact that in mexico and central america
[17:18] There's a very high percentage of indigenous blood up to 60 percent in some of those countries And indigenous ladies and men for that matter too are very short and referred to as quadrada Quadrada, that means square or rectangular shaped Allow me to explain if you're down here and speak spanish You'll hear that term all the time when a lady says for example to another Bonita pero quadrada What that means is she's beautiful, but she's square and they're not talking about her personality attitude or how she dresses They're talking about her general body shape You see if you're looking at a lady with her back to you in your mind You could draw an imaginary square that runs across the top of her shoulders down her sides and below her butt And back up again. That's a square or rectangle and with the indigenous population
[18:05] You'll see it's almost a perfect square whereas if you made that same measurement Try to draw an imaginary square on those very curvy ladies from venezuela, columbia panama and the dominican republic Let's put it this way their body parts are way out of the box By the way that term quadrada square doesn't just refer to when you look at a girl with her back facing you Turns out most indigenous folks both male and female are quadrada when you look at them from the side as well So there's few pronounced curves in that direction, too And that damnian accounts for the fact that hourglass figures are fairly wear unless enhanced by cosmetic surgery in mexico And most of central america same thing goes for south america where there's a big indigenous population peru Bolivia peragua parts of chile because of all the ink of blood and of course in central america
[18:54] You've got mayan blood and in mexico aztec blood So if you're in south america, you're not going to find many curvy hourglass shaped women in peru, bolivia or peragua So then how many of you listeners are offended by this kind of discussion you say you're not offended yet Well, just wait the show is not over yet. All right now. We have another email. This one's from mike He says johnny i've listened to your shows and have some questions I'm thinking of possibly coming down before your january seminar and also taking the seminar I was in guadamala antigua guadamala a couple years ago and couldn't find any place to run Or a track to run on i'd like to do that. Do you know of any then he's got other questions But let's tackle that one first. Yes, there are places and neighborhoods to run in But i'm not privy to any particular places people are using these days, but I can find out in a second
[19:41] I've got a really lightning fast grapevine. So not to worry. By the way, he's talking about my january 2020 seminar Funny you should ask that mike because I just picked the dates We'll start friday night january 10th and finish off thursday night january 16th details to come So stay tuned then mike says here are some of my other questions Number one, how will 5g affect guadamala and what can be done to protect yourself? You also mentioned countries like chile will have it in place soon Then he asks where are the best places to live or travel for now? All right, mike 5g They're testing right now in chile it will eventually work its way throughout latin america as it will the world except The difference is if you're going to live in the city or slightly out of the city or in the boonies because
[20:26] Obviously, it'll be rolled out first in the cities with a much denser overlap, too So then what do you do? Well, if you want to truly avoid as much of those 5g waves as you can I suggest you live slightly out of the city or in the boonies and when it comes in use your devices sparingly Because just like 4 and 3g that we're all using now in order for you to be affected by the waves You have to be close to a device that's receiving them And if your device is off or you're not nearby one, you're getting an extremely scaled down dosage of emf That's why it's a good idea when you're on the phone to use headphones not bluetooth But real headphones and to turn off your wi-fi in your house at night And when you're sleeping don't leave any of your devices next to your bed Another thing I was talking to a gringle buddy of mine an engineer the other day He was talking about how aftermarket products are going to come on the line once 5g is in because people are going to start realizing
[21:16] It's damaging and those aftermarket products will be able to limit The angle of coverage for a 5g device mounted on a pole outside of your house In other words, you'll be able to get a device that you can attach or connect aftermarket that will only permit 5g coverage Let's say in one room or one section of your house So for example, you can leave your smartphone in that room or your router It'll be connected and receiving and transmitting data But when you're in the rest of the house, you're not bombarded with those waves And if you got computers or smart devices throughout the house, you can hardwire them with an ethernet cable Direct to the router in that room. It's a good idea and you can picture that can't you? Otherwise though without some kind of limiting filter like that as long as you're carrying your phone with you You're being bombarded all the time But I can't tell you this in my place on the coffee fields in guatemala right now
[22:04] The nearest cell phone tower is probably half a kilometer away and not so long ago I took an emf meter and I checked around the house and man It's just so clean and devoid of electric garbage and spikes It's like i'm living in the age before cell phones So obviously the farther out you live from a city and the farther away your neighbors are the less emf penetrating your house As opposed to let's say living in a residential tower As soon as you turn on your wi-fi to see who's got routers in the area There can be a dozen or more signals and they're penetrating virtually everywhere And you can't do a thing about it unless you make one of your rooms preferably your bedroom a faraday cage You know what that is, right? That's going to be really easy due to a certain kind of new paint keep you posted on that All right back to mike he says your seminar will be covering el solvador and guatemala, right?
[22:49] How does el solvador compare to guatemala? Well in a couple of ways. It's a lot smaller. It uses the us dollar It's got almost no altiplano that permanent everlasting spring like weather. We like so much in guatemala Though it does where it borders guatemala have a coffee growing region. That's a couple of thousand feet above sea level It could be considered low altiplano That's a very beautiful laid back peaceful region there if you're thinking about a plan b In the coffee fields out in the boonies now as far as the cost of living between el solvador and guatemala el solvador is Slightly less expensive than guatemala real estate being much less expensive than guatemala But it's a less developed country their biggest city san salvador is a little over a million people Which is about a quarter the size of guatemala city
[23:35] They have a bigger and nicer beach strip than guatemala has on the pacific side But I find guatemala itself is more lush and plush and there's a lot more things to do So if you're interested in having a beach house on the cheap, you like heat you like surfing you like water I'd pick el solvador over guatemala, but if you want a more cosmopolitan style of living i'd say guatemala Especially in and around antigua guatemala and just outside in the eastern and southern berbs of guatemala city All right, and mike's final question He asks what documents are necessary that need to be authenticated when applying for permanent or temporary residency? And he's talking about documents that need to be Apostoled always a confusing word some people pronounce it apostille Even weirder is the fact that word looks and sounds like the word apostle like, you know
[24:22] The 12 apostles now that means for example, if you have a birth certificate and you're from let's say michigan You have to send your birth certificate certified copy that you got from your city's municipality To the michigan state government state department. It's called. Yep Every state has what they call a state department if you can believe that Anyway, if you look on the web, it'll say how to get your documents authenticated or apostille Then you send your document to them with the check for 25 or 30 bucks They want their cut the dirty leeches just to attach a signature in a piece of paper to the birth certificate You also had to pay for you get it back and you ship it off to your attorney in whatever latin country So then what documents need to be authenticated or apostille like that? Well for residency, you'll need your birth certificate as mentioned and if you're married your marriage certificate
[25:09] And if you have kids their birth certificate's apostle too now, of course, you'll also need your passport But you don't have to get that apostle But what you will have to do is something only lard-ass government blood clots could ever think of you have to go to the u.s embassy or consulate in the foreign country where you're applying for residency and get a certified copy of your passport there Always a big hassle because you have to make an appointment online to do that and you know The question comes up all the time Why can't you go down to the post office in minneapolis or chicago or cleveland? Whatever and have some certified copies done there and just bring them with you or send them to your lawyer In the country you're applying for residency But no, that would be too easy Instead you're forced to get a certified copy at the us embassy or consulate in the latin country. You're applying for residency How stupid is that? Anyway, that's what you have to do
[25:57] Luckily though your attorney in the latin country You're applying for residency can make that online appointment for you so that when you come down you're ready to go Because it says you may have heard me say before you can't just walk into the us embassy in whatever country and say hey Here's my 50 bucks. I'd like a certified copy. Please. Here it is Like you used to be able to do just two or three years ago Now you have to make that appointment online and you won't get it that day It'll probably be a week or two from when you sign up Oh, yeah, and another thing 50 bucks to have a certified copy where they can do it right and funny in three minutes What a bunch of blood suckers, huh? And finally mike when you ask the question, where are the best places to live and travel in now? That's absolutely impossible to answer unless you have a very specific wish list of what you like and don't like
[26:44] Whether altitude cost of living your state of health things you like to do for example entertainment hobbies and pastimes What's your budget and nest egg? Do you want to buy build or rent? Do you want pets animals your own garden? You want to live in a high rise condo apartment or off the grid you want on offer near the tourist trail All those things have to be factored in when you're considering the best places to live or travel And that's why I do so many of these phone or skype consults That's when we talk for an hour or a half hour even more and discuss all those points But only after you've filled out my plan b consult questionnaire you send that to me beforehand Then we have a nice structure and we can go from there So your first step make a wish list then we can hone it down. There are so many things to consider Everyone's got their own wants needs and budget
[27:32] You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b send me an email the expat files at gmail.com nos vamos