Episode Summary
In this episode, Johnny Mueller discusses the evolving landscape of passports, residency, and the challenges expats face in Latin America. He highlights how residency requirements have become more stringent over the years, with increased paperwork, higher income thresholds, and more restrictions on certain types of income like pensions. He also touches on the broader topic of expat planning, including the idea of having a 'plan B' or 'plan C' by obtaining citizenship in other regions like Europe or other parts of the world. The segment includes a letter from Daniel in Lake Tahoe, who is working on obtaining Irish citizenship through his grandparents' heritage and is seeking advice on expat strategies in Europe.
Johnny Mueller discusses the importance of having a second passport as an insurance policy against political instability, conflict, and government inefficiency. He highlights the risks of living in Europe, particularly in countries like Italy and Ireland, due to their proximity to Middle Eastern conflicts, high costs of living, and social issues. He contrasts this with Latin America, where he notes the lack of strategic importance and the unreliability of government services. Johnny emphasizes the need for expats to be self-reliant and to set up their own support networks rather than relying on government assistance.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses the challenges of living in Europe and the United States, suggesting that expats should consider obtaining passports from countries like Ireland or Italy for a sense of security. He also talks about his contingency plans, including having Plan C and D in Latin America. The segment then transitions to an email from Aaron, an expat who has moved to Guatemala with his wife. Aaron asks for advice on obtaining an FBI report for residency in Guatemala, which has recently become a new requirement. Johnny responds by explaining that the change in immigration policy is not sudden, as he has been warning about it for years. He also discusses the implications of having a criminal record, such as a DUI, and how it can affect residency applications in Latin America.
Johnny Mueller discusses the process of obtaining an FBI background check for expats, particularly those living in Latin American countries. He explains that while the FBI report is useful for certain purposes, it cannot be sent directly to a foreign country and must be sent to a U.S. address. He highlights the challenges of obtaining fingerprints, especially for those not in the U.S., and suggests using private companies to simplify the process. He also mentions that the FBI now allows online access to background checks, which can be digitally signed and accepted by some Latin American countries.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller discusses the recent case of a Harvard foreign exchange student denied entry to the US after customs officers searched his phone and laptop, finding anti-American social media posts. He expresses a strong opinion that it's justified to expel individuals who spread anti-American rhetoric, even if it means facing legal challenges from civil rights groups. He also warns about the potential for similar treatment in Mexico if a gringo were to express anti-Mexican sentiments. Johnny then provides practical advice on how to protect personal data during travel, including using burner phones, encrypting devices, and carrying sensitive files on separate storage devices. He also shares personal anecdotes about the intrusive nature of customs searches, including a story about a traveler whose phone was searched and found to contain photos of his daughter, leading to a seven-hour detention. He concludes by suggesting that customs and TSA should rely on tech companies like Google, Facebook, and Apple for data access instead of conducting manual searches.
In this segment, Johnny Mueller humorously warns listeners about the potential consequences of sharing explicit photos of oneself, particularly in the context of customs inspections. He suggests that such photos could lead to trouble with authorities and advises listeners to be cautious. The segment also includes a lighthearted suggestion for verifying the authenticity of photos through an inspection, possibly in a bathroom setting, and ends with a call to action for listeners interested in his expat planning services.
Topics
Residency requirements in Latin America, Passport and citizenship planning for expats, Expatriate planning and 'plan B' strategies, Letter from listener discussing Irish citizenship and expat strategies in Europe, Second passports as insurance policies, Risks of living in Europe, Comparison of Europe and Latin America, Government inefficiency and self-reliance, Expatriate life and safety considerations, Expatriate life, Contingency planning, Immigration policy
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:00:31 Passports, Residency, and Changing Rules in Latin America 00:02:41 Emails from Listeners Concerned About Passport and Residency 00:05:35 The Importance of Second Passports and Record Challenges 00:05:48 Historical Record Loss and Passport Insurance 00:06:07 Residency as an Insurance Policy 00:06:39 Ireland and Italy as Travel Destinations 00:06:44 Johnny's Personal Views on Living in Europe 00:07:34 Europe as a Potential Target for Conflict 00:08:16 Europe's Strategic Importance and NATO Bases 00:08:34 Latin America's Strategic Importance and the Panama Canal 00:11:21 Advice on Obtaining Passports for Security 00:12:03 Introduction to Aaron's Email 00:14:33 Explanation of the Change in Immigration Policy 00:16:42 Introduction to the FBI Background Check Process for Expats 00:17:15 FBI Report Restrictions for Expats 00:17:40 Challenges of Dealing with the U.S. Government for Expats 00:18:35 Fingerprint Submission Requirements for FBI Reports 00:20:41 Online Access to FBI Background Checks for Expats 00:21:47 Introduction to the Case of the Harvard Student and Customs Searches 00:22:44 Legal Framework for Customs Searches 00:25:01 Personal Anecdote: George's Seven-Hour Detention 00:25:37 Another Traveler's Experience with Customs and Phone Search 00:26:14 Johnny's Final Thoughts on Customs and Tech Companies 00:27:25 Warning About Sharing Explicit Photos with Customs
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right. Let's talk about passports Residency and how the rules and regs are changing throughout Latin America You know, I hate to say I told you so but even eight years ago when I first started the show I kept harping on the fact that the first step in getting your plan be underway is to apply for temporary or permanent
[00:48] Residency in a Latin American country and man eight years ago five years ago, even two or three years ago Was dead easy to do that. Sure. It was bureaucracy and a lot of manana time You're always gonna have that but now it seems with every single month one Latin American country Another is putting up another hurdle to residency whether it's requiring more paperwork or raising the minimum outside monthly income requirement For a pension social security or rental income or trust fund income, which does qualify, you know Or Latin governments are restricting or increasing the amount of investment you have to make in the country If you're going the investment route, for example, it used to be in many Latin countries You could open up a twenty five or fifty thousand dollars CD in a local bank and that would cover your income requirement for permanent residency
[01:34] Some would tell you that you had to keep it in the bank for three to five years But truth of the matter was once you got the residency card Let's say six or eight months after you applied you were done you had residency and no one could take it away from you And no one was monitoring that dough you had in a CD in a bank either So after you had that card in your hand, you could pull that out of there and most people would do that Well much of that has changed to only here's another one for you in the past Every Latin country would accept any kind of pension income as a requirement for permanent residency As long as it meant the monthly amount requirement and for every Latin country. That was a different amount some countries It's a thousand or twelve hundred a month other countries It's two thousand dollars a month and now some Latin American countries will only accept certain types of pensions as the income
[02:19] Requirement for permanent residency in fact about five years ago I remember there were quite a few Latin countries where you only had to have 750 bucks a month income to qualify for permanent residency, but those days are gone Now depending on the country. It's generally twelve hundred bucks a month or more That's for a single person if you're bringing the wife of the family along the limit goes up a few hundred bucks per person again Depending on the country So then let's start today with some emails from people who are concerned about the passport and residency thing Some are already saying it's not as easy as it once used to be this one's from Daniel in Lake Tahoe He says dear Johnny. I Certainly relate to the lady who said something about strongly objecting to some things that you say But being unable to stop listening and liking you despite that I
[03:05] To agree with most things you say but once in a while. I yeah, yeah, yes Ricky Ricardo used to say Then Dan says my objections don't include any of the so-called politically incorrect items Those things are refreshingly real and often entertaining and I don't want to go into any details on what my objections are because I don't want To fight with you, then he says I began with that digression and now it's out of the way So to paraphrase one of my old professors a medievalist named Jennifer Miller Digression is one of the great joys of life. Hey, I agree. It's me Johnny How can I not I do it all the time? Then he says her digressions did a lot to make her lectures more interesting Now to the chase Johnny. I'm one document away from what I need to apply for Irish
[03:52] Citizenship based on my grandparents birth in the old country The Irish immigration website says that applications have increased in recent years a friend is telling me now that he's thinking of doing the same Thing but through Italy it might have something to do with the new 5g installation now in front of his otherwise beautiful Tahoe property Anyway, I remember meeting an American when an Ireland several years ago He'd become a European citizen through the Italy route He lived in Spain and only was in Ireland because he was a pipefitter and was hoping to get on to a big job there I remember him saying though. He'd never want to go back to the US and he was a homegrown US citizen He'd fought in the Contra war in Central America and that might have been a small part of the reason for it
[04:37] So what's the point? Let me see. What was the point? I know Johnny that you specialize in Central and South America. Nevertheless. Do you have any thoughts about Europe? I know old Donegal is not exactly the altiplano and the European Union certainly has its problems But do you know of any Americans with a plan B and a plan C perhaps in Europe? Meaning original US citizens who have also Citizenship and a passport from a country south of the border and Europe to or perhaps some other third location Signing off now. Love the show Daniel from Lake Tahoe Alright Daniel, you know I'm always happy when I hear of someone who's working on their plan B whether it's in Latin America Asia or Europe and I know a lot of people and there are a lot of listeners who've gotten
[05:23] Passports from places like France Ireland Britain Italy Romania even Slovakia Simply because one of their parents or grandparents that's more likely came from the old country and they can prove it Sometimes that involves someone digging in the archives of the registries to find birth certificates and such and sometimes those records aren't clean Especially since World War two lots and lots of files disappeared or were destroyed back then But still the fact that a person has two passports is a very good insurance policy No matter what country you've got that second passport from that is provided It's not a Middle Eastern passport Unless it's Israeli and provided it's not from Afghanistan, Venezuela, Cuba or North Korea again Once you've got a second passport even residency in another country. That's an insurance policy
[06:11] For example, if your first passport country makes it difficult to travel outside your own country Whether the excuses terrorism border problems or martial law for example in the case of civil uprisings and such like what's happening in Venezuela Right now, then you just get out of Dodge or out of harm's way by traveling on the other passport That's how it works and some people have more than two passports and you don't have to be double-o seven either Now as we're focusing on the two countries Daniel was talking about Ireland and Italy while it's true that those two passports are great for traveling I personally would never want to live in Italy or the European mainland for that matter and not just because they're heavy into big Brother there, too Not to mention the cost of living is even higher than in the States Really? All you have to do is look at the huge problems are having with African and Muslim immigration
[07:00] And then there's those extreme levels of taxation Socialism and the fact that practically everywhere in Europe is so close to that perpetual Israeli Arab powder keg It's crazy to see that barely a week goes by when Muslims and Israelis are not firing rockets back and forth at each other Then you've got the fact that Muslim countries have vowed to wipe Israel off the map and you still want to live in Europe At least now anyway, the rockets they're using are conventional no collateral damage anyway in the neighboring countries Though just give it a little more time and the nukes will fly It's not a matter of if but when and for that reason alone Europe would be one of the last places I want to have my plan B or even plan C However, Ireland is kind of a different story because it's really far removed from the Middle East distance wise
[07:47] It's even pretty far removed socially and economically from the rest of the UK So when the reset button is pushed and the poop really does hit the fan Everyone's bet in the trigger point will be Israel How close do you really want to beat it of that? And if and when nukes blow if you're in Europe the fallout's gonna get you though Maybe not so much Ireland and Great Britain simply because they are in the hinterlands But still way too close for comfort for me, but it's not just conflicts in the Middle East Europe is way too strategic. The US and NATO have bases all over the place and nukes Whereas in Latin America sure the US has a few bases scattered around mostly in Colombia But man, you know, there's absolutely nothing strategic about Latin America except the Panama Canal
[08:34] Which is pretty much owned by the Chinese now. At least they've got the real estate at both ends of it all tied up So bottom line Daniel, you have to ask yourself what a plan B is for what's the objective to get out of Dodge and harm's way, right? It's not to move from one potential disaster zone to another No matter how nice the scenery and by all accounts if your plan B is moving to Europe You're just jumping from one frying pan into another. So good luck with that. By the way, I'm speaking from experience here I live two and a half years in England in a year in Italy That was many years ago, but it was testy back then it much worse now But I do go back to visit periodically now was there just a little over a year ago now and what you're hearing about The illegal immigration problems. They're absolutely right. There's an invasion going on and what's saddest of all
[09:23] Just like some of the big cities in the states. There are hundreds of neighborhoods The cops won't even go to if you dial 9-1-1 That's not to say the cops or anyone else will show up if you dial 9-1-1 in Central or South America either Yeah, they have 9-1-1 but certainly an ambulance will show up right away if you got a private health insurance plan That's part of their service But as far as just being a tourist or a visitor if you're dialing up 1-1-1 in San Pedro Sula, Honduras Or let's say Minagua Nicaragua Well, if you're calling from a business district or a nice first world neighborhood, they'll show up anywhere else Maybe not or maybe in two or three hours or even the next day now I know I know some people might be thinking that's terrible I'd never want to live there you dial 9-1-1 and there's a possibility. No one will show Well, you see as for me and most all expats. We've already decided that we're responsible for ourselves
[10:14] We don't want to rely on government for anything Including the 9-1-1 service because we know with government any government. It's always too little too late So your choice is to let the government give you hit-and-miss crap quality service or pay out of pocket for a private service and get 100% response time Meanwhile your average Joe who doesn't think too deeply believes stuff like that should be handled by the government in other words free Though nothing is for nothing except maybe this show, huh? That's why I always remind people if you're gonna have your plan B in a third world country You have to set up your own network. Don't expect the government to help you with anything and if they do Consider it a gift One of my purposes in life is to have as little as possible to do with any kind of government or agency and here in
[11:00] America they certainly don't want to have anything to do with you either which is another great thing. You don't bother them They don't bother you whereas up in the states in Europe That seems to be the reason they exist to monitor you keep you on a short leash and milk you like a cow Every which way they can so then Daniel how much did I digress in that rant that said Daniel in the end my advice Is if you do have relatives in Ireland or Italy go ahead go for that passport and do visit the old country in the relatives Once in a while and just hang on to that passport to create insurance policy personally. I'd never want to live there I want to be living in a non strategic zone at least 500 miles removed from any place that people call first world That way when the reset button does get pushed. I can watch it implode from a nice safe distance
[11:46] However, if you're living in Europe or in the US, you'll be in the epicenter of the implosion Not good and as for having a plan C. Well, I've got one It's my contingency if my plan B goes in the crapper. Now, of course my plan C and D are also in Latin America Which brings me to this next email concerning Latin American country residency Now this one comes from an early expat insider seminar attendee He's got his plan B well in motion and has moved with his wife to Latin America now His name is Aaron and actually he's a very cool and brilliant guy. He's down here now And I really wish I had more time to hang with him But I've been traveling a lot lately so that hasn't been possible, but we will be connecting face-to-face soon enough One thing I can tell you for sure about my expat insider seminar attendees
[12:32] I've been doing these seminars now for eight years every last one of them It's way smarter than the average bear and some of them well, I'm thinking if the rest of the world had their brain power and common sense we would be needing plan B's because the world would be an excellent place and Aaron's one of those guys an Engineer and inventor that went to MIT and I'll tell you every engineer I know wishes he went to MIT and the cool thing is he's humble about it, too Anyway, he says hello, Johnny long time No talk having a great time in Guatemala and the family is doing well Just a question in the orientation at your seminar You stated you're not here to hold our hands and help us with every little thing when we move down here So I have not been bothering you on purpose Then he says thanks for the car info. You gave me last year and it's done me. Well
[13:20] But aside from that my Guatemalan lawyer told me to email you about the new FBI reports required for Citizenship and residency in Guatemala I could tell you a long story about having to turn paperwork in and how long it's taking Almost as if it was not supposed to happen It seems like the government just keeps changing things and by the time I turn in some paperwork Suddenly I need to get more and then my old paperwork expires and I have to redo that over and over Anyway to the point I'll be needing an FBI report That's the new requirement and my lawyer said perhaps you could advise me how to get one at the US Embassy while we're down here So Johnny, please some advice on how to accomplish that before my second set of papers expire again. Thanks, Johnny Aaron
[14:06] Well, Aaron looks like you got stuck in one of those manana time analyst loops kind of like a maybe a strip, huh? Maybe a strip. I think only physicists mathematicians engineers and artists get that one But anyway Aaron, I'm sorry you got caught in that fray But I have to tell you and all the dozens of emails I've gotten from people wondering about the same thing Why suddenly has Guatemala changed its immigration policy and now requires an FBI report or so-called FBI background check? Well, I'll tell you there's nothing sudden about it because I've been mentioning for years now that all this kind of stuff's been on The horizon that eventually every Latin country was gonna insist on an FBI report instead of that much much easier and much more convenient Police or sheriff's good conduct report, you know, we're gonna look back and say those were the good old days
[14:52] Even just a few months ago You could walk right into your local sheriff's department ask for it yourself and get it issued in about 20 minutes But that's all over now and that's one really cool loophole was closed too because you know And I really didn't want to mention this on this show before but if you had let's say a misdemeanor or even a felony Or a drunken driving charge It would definitely show up on your sheriff's report and some people when applying for residency would send me an email saying Johnny I don't think I'm gonna be able to get it because I had DUI or I got picked up in college for having a couple Of joints and yes that would show up on your sheriff's report. And even if it was exonerated no Latin immigration department Will process a person for residency if his report is not absolutely squeaky clean without a single mark on it and thus the loophole
[15:40] For example, suppose you live in Chicago and had a DUI right there on your sheriff's report However, that didn't mean it was case closed for residency because you see in situations like that I would often advise a person to take a walk or a ride over to Indiana another state or any other state where you've got Friends or relatives living then you see one of them could go down to their local sheriff's department and pull a report on you Now you're probably thinking how is that possible? Who knows? You might never even have been in that state But remember we're talking about a loophole here Suppose your sister's living in Indiana and you're not she could go down to the sheriff's department and ask for a police report on You the only thing the bureaucrats will ask for in that case is your full name and address Of course, you don't live there, right? But they don't know that but your sister does so she puts down her address
[16:29] They check the records to see if you've got any black marks. Of course, you don't because you never live there They print it out on their official stationery and voila a clean sheriff's report. Now, you might be thinking that's dishonest, right? Put it this way It's pretty great because the part about you not having a criminal record in that state or Jurisdiction is certainly true and the part about living at your sister's address just a technicality Well, all you have to do is walk in and sit on the couch for 10 minutes and technically for those few minutes Anyway, you were living in that living room. See what I mean? Yep But as time goes on those windows of opportunity are closing or are closed So Guatemala was the straggler in that department, but now it's up to date Unfortunately and in Aaron's case or anyone who's already moved to a Latin country
[17:15] You'll find out two things right away about FBI reports. One is they won't send the report to a foreign country It's got to be a US address And if you're out of the country That's not a problem because you could always have it sent to your mother another relative or friend that is if you don't mind Them snooping they might look at that report Which begs the question you got anything to hide now if you search the internet You'll find there are companies that will process your FBI report for you They're private companies are just out to make a buck But anytime you have to deal with the US government regarding forms and submission of applications and such it's a pain in the ass No wording is never straight. So maybe it's not a bad idea that drop 50 bucks and have one of these companies do it for you So you can either do it yourself from the US government FBI site and it is a pain in the ass or you can have a company Help you with it. If you do they'll have all the downloadable forms and PDF right on their website
[18:04] You just fill that stuff out and send it to them. The problem is you see the FBI will want your fingerprints Done a certain standardized way too. And if you're in the states, that's fairly easy Well, I shouldn't say that nothing with government is easy But at least these days you could have your fingerprints captured and submitted electronically But only if you're in the US they've got what are called live scan locations are over 14,000 of these locations they're mostly law enforcement agencies police sheriff's offices and University campus security stations However, the FBI will also accept your fingerprints in ink on a special FBI approved fingerprint card Now this form is called FBI fingerprint form FD dash 258 and when you're on one of these company websites that'll do the whole thing for you for 50 bucks
[18:53] You can click and get the official FBI card downloaded right from their site. So Aaron That's what you're gonna have to do print out a couple of them I suggest three why because if the first or second fingerprint card is rejected by the FBI because of the poor fingerprint quality Whatever you're covered. So for guys like Aaron who are not in the States, what do you do then? How do you get the fingerprints on there correctly? Some people have tried it at home with an inkbladder But forget about that something that needs practice because you got to roll your fingers in a certain way So what do you do? Well take those fingerprint cards down to your local Latin American police station Make sure it's a big central station too because then they'll have all the equipment and the experience Oh and bring someone with you to translate you'll have to speak Spanish because they probably won't know what you're talking about Though they might if you wave the forms in front of them and who knows it might charge you five or ten bucks
[19:43] And I don't think they've got any reason to refuse to do that And if they hesitate show them some green or red or blue or brown whatever color funny money they're using in that country Though I'm positive they won't refuse. In fact just about four or five months ago now I acted as an interpreter for a gringo couple from New Jersey who were applying for residency in Panama and I went down to the police station with them and watched them as they got their fingerprints rolled all in all pretty interesting The cop that did it. He just said hold out your hands He grabbed the fingers and did all the work though You do walk out with your hands kind of blue and skanky looking My advice don't wear white and bring a little pack of those diaper wipe ease with you Because chances are and it's almost a guarantee. There won't be any paper towels in the cop shop bathroom
[20:28] That's a given anyway If you want to link or two to some of those companies that'll do the whole works for you Send me an email the expert files gmail.com and I'll ship it off to you Oh and one last thing and I can't hardly believe this is possible just in the last year or so the FBI has somehow set it up so you can access your FBI background check report on the internet and believe it or not many Latin American countries will accept an online version of your report as long as it's digitally signed Though for security purposes the FBI set it up so that only you have access to the report online And then you can download it and send it off to one of those companies So not only does the FBI have a time limit on when you can download it They also give you a unique list of codes So for example if right now you want to access your report you go to the site
[21:15] They'll give you a code you'll find it on your chart And then you'll respond by putting in the code that's next to it only then will you be able to see and download your report? Like I said, you've only got a limited amount of time to access that report and then it's gone, man That's one thing governments good at complicate in your life Well, that's why I say it's probably not a bad idea to have one of those private companies hold your hand through the process Oh and the FBI charges another 50 bucks or so So the whole cost over a hundred then you've got the courier cost UPS or FedEx for them to send the hard copy To that address in the states you gave them all right moving on but not straying too far from that line of thinking You've probably heard or seen on the news just this last week Harvard foreign exchange student was recently denied entry to the US after
[22:01] Customs officers questioned him about his religion and searched his phone and laptop at the airport and found that he and his friends Had written anti-american social media posts Well, as far as I'm concerned, I hate it when they go through your stuff at the airport But I do absolutely think it's the right thing to do if a foreigner comes in and he's spouting anti-american rhetoric kick his ass out Oh, but you know civil rights groups will be suing the US government over that one You know, by the way as a gringo next time you visit Mexico try spouting anti Mexican rhetoric and see how long you last Anyway, if you're wondering how far federal and TSA agents can go and searching your phone and your laptop, etc At the borders, even if you are a citizen, here's the facts Customs officers are legally allowed to search travelers personal electronics without a warrant whether they're visitors or American
[22:51] However travelers can refuse access to devices But customs officers are not obliged to allow anyone into the country who won't let them probe or do a search So for now, if you're worried about that kind of stuff lawyers and privacy experts will recommend that travelers carry burner phones Encrypt their devices or simply not bring electronics along with you at all All right Here's a little tip from me If you're gonna for example bring a laptop and don't want to go through all the troubles and hours It would take to sort files into personal meaning you don't want anybody to look at them or non-critical files like reports and youtubes and videos music audio books all that stuff because you can do that But it takes hours to partition those files And then you can encrypt the sensitive stuff and leave the other stuff wide open for them to see and the encrypted files
[23:37] You can hide and nest them within another obvious file that says for example Colostomy bag emptying instructions, but that does take a lot of time effort and it's a hassle Probably right up there with emptying a colostomy bag Here's a better tip buy one of those mini SD cards that has huge memory on it You know 500 gigs or a tetra byte cost you maybe 40 or 50 bucks Then the night before you go on your trip shove it in your computer slot and completely copy all of your files And you know those things are smaller than a sim card You shove that in your wallet your shoe your pocket your baseball hat and no one would ever be the wiser Then just bring a cheap tiny maybe 10 or 11 inch screen computer with you with just an operating system on it Then you're back in business soon as you get out of the airport Oh and by the way if you refuse to let TSA air customs look at your stuff if you are a citizen or legal permanent resident
[24:28] They have to let you back into the country eventually, but they can hold you at the airport for an indefinite period of time But if you're not a citizen border agents can refuse your entrance meanwhile I have a couple of cases here of some people who were actually given the third degree While going through customs at the airport listen to this one George s says my cell phone was searched upon my return from the Customs found many photos of me with my seven-year-old daughter all very ordinary poses of father and daughter spending time together I told them she was my daughter and offered to show him her birth certificate, which I had They held me at the LA Airport for seven hours with no food or water After five hours two detectives arrived and took me into a small room for questioning. They let me go after one more hour I was told that it was a routine examination and I was picked randomly
[25:16] It was one of the absolute worst experiences I've ever had then there's this one from another American citizen He says I went to South America on a trip while I was there I dropped my phone in some water and it died when I was coming back to the states customs Told me to turn on and unlock my phone. I told them it didn't work They didn't believe me and I spent almost the whole day in customs before they released me But they didn't give me back my phone, but gave me a paper about how to claim my phone later I never did all right then Henry writes this one while in Canada As I was getting on a plane to come back to the US I was pulled aside and my phone and laptop were searched TSA refused to give me any information about the search and told me someone would be in touch What a lie when I tried to contact Canadian border control They told me I need to file a freedom of information request to find out why they searched me being the stickler
[26:06] I am I actually filed one. It came back denied because I didn't provide enough information All right me Johnny here. Here's what I'm thinking just a thought Seems like customs enforcement and TSA should cut out the middleman and just ask Google Facebook Apple and the NSA Hmm and finally my favorite border control story of all time Listen to this from Lawrence last time I went through customs The officer took me in a small room and asked me some routine questions I gave her my phone and warned her that her love life will be forever tainted if she looks through it She gave me a terrible look and told me this was not a joking matter and she had a serious job to do She left with the phone and came back 20 minutes later with another female agent Their faces were flushed and red as I got up to leave I told them if you think your eyes are deceiving you there are
[26:54] Photoshop pixel analyzer programs free on the internet to check for positive verification that the pictures aren't photoshopped Then I winked and said when you get off tonight You can come on over to my place and do an inspection in the interest of science Of course to make sure as eyewitnesses that my phone pictures are truly not photoshopped Or we could do it here in the bathroom bring your rubber gloves if you like I was right You know after that day both of their love lives were tainted forever So a word of warning few fellas out there expect trouble with customs if you have photos of your big Johnson You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com
[27:44] And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com