#949 – The Expat Files: Masks, Facial Hair, and Financial Realities in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Alright back in the saddle again today. We're gonna mix it up. You're gonna like this first a few words about masks Who'd have thought masks would be on everyone's agenda? And what about the use of masks here in Latin America? Are we overreacting about masks?

[00:47] Definitely and who'd have thought masks would turn into a fashion statement I mean really no one cares how hip and interesting you think your piece of spit and garlic Saturated cloth that's meant to protect you from disease and us from your garlic breath would turn out to be some kind of hip Fashion statement come on really though. I don't think it's really effective in either case. Hey, not to diss garlic I like it myself in small doses, but not before a date and definitely not before a job interview So I think it's a very good idea to load up on it in a huge way when you go to an airport That way you can give the lard s TSA guys a full dose So by all means do make good eye-to-eye contact and breathe heavily. Oh, and by the way, what about masks at airports? You know a lot of the more expensive ones have pieces of aluminum metal in them for

[01:34] Reinforcement and to provide a better seal around the bridge of the nose, etc So some masks will definitely set off the metal detectors So then what's TSA gonna do tell you to pull it off Then what put the thing in one of those plastic baskets and contaminate that thing for the next guy that comes along man That's sure to violate the ever-changing social distancing rules Who knows but still I think a good dose of garlic will give those TSA jerks something to think about Oh and now that everyone's got gloves and masks, what a great time to rob a bank, huh? You can be sure soon enough Hollywood will be pumping that movie out now I know the mask situation up in the States is quite variable from state to state city to city same here in Latin America though I have to say didn't take long only a day or two to spawn an industry

[02:21] These days here in Latin America in any medium large city Anyway, you'll see on every second or third street corner All manner of homemade masks being sold and the cost anywhere from 25 cents to a buck Of course, someone's always selling actual factory made masks to a bit pricier than a homemade jobs And those homemade jobs talk about creativity. A lot of them look and smell like they've been made out of well Underwear you get the picture and some that have a sort of musty locker room smell and how would I know about that? Well reports from the front and the rear Though for sure some people dig that I know they do since there are mask fetish websites out there even before the corona virus There's always been an extreme fringe

[03:06] Segment of society into such things that is masks of a certain style substance and fragrance Not to check on that. No, I won't hey, but a while back I heard on Joe Rogan's podcast was a lady guest saying she made over a hundred thousand a year With a fetish website where she sells used underwear that she's modeling at the time for up to five hundred bucks an item Man, what a markup, especially if she shops in the cut rate lingerie bin at Walmart Yep, all that and more on the internet even more so now that everyone's stuck at home bored out of their gourds looking for things to do Sometimes you have to wonder if it was a good idea to sell web domains to the sweaty masses without a background check But then again, I self-identify as libertarian who believes that everyone from geniuses to dolts

[03:54] Have the right to make perfect asses out of themselves and since nothing is perfect I'm sure that's why so many get addicted and keep visiting the same web and social media sites over and over again We're shit regarding the virus. You've got so-called professionals and experts giving out all kinds of conflicting information You need a mask mask won't help masks are one use only they last a day. They last five hours You can wash them. You can't wash them. You can renew them in the microwave You can't renew them in the microwave You listen to an expert you heed his advice until another expert comes along and says he's more expert So expert credibility is out the window and politician credibility. Well, that was always in the crapper So what else is new and why do people listen to government press releases and so-called experts when we know governments always lie

[04:43] Now you might be wondering am I wearing a mask right now? If not, what about the poor microphone? I'm talking into isn't that just loaded with bacteria viruses and germs How about doorknobs car door handles steering wheels handles on shopping carts your shoes your keys your phone your remote controls and your wallet How about the dog? So let's say as some experts team you're only supposed to use that mask once Then let's say you go out two times a day once in the morning to get cigarettes and booze and later that date And sign for that Amazon delivery or walk the dog That'd be two masks a day 60 masks a month and even if you use the same mask That's 30 masks a month per person. Is that practical? Can you afford to do that? Are there that many masks? Available for everyone. Is there even enough room in the cupboard next to those 4,000 rolls of Charmin?

[05:33] Now as for masks, which one should you get the standard ones the cheapies the expensive models? Well, I guess that depends if you are or are not trying to make a fashion statement at the Costco checkout line now I have noticed here in Latin America There are lots and lots of do-it-yourself mess with funky little designs on them some with vampire teeth evil clown faces McJagger lips that seems to be a favorite I've even seen a few Mickey Mouse rat snouts worn of course by entitled children of the rich who crave that kind of stuff Sometimes, you know, you just feel like slapping someone don't you of course that would violate social distancing wouldn't it? Hmm now ask for masks whether you want to believe they help or not the cheaper ones The do-it-yourself cloth jobs, etc The question is does it pay to be cheap you get a hell of a lot more of them for your money or spend

[06:23] Top buck and get the Chernobyl or Fukushima rated once then again because there's a shortage of everything Maybe you just take what you can get but how long do they last two hours a day? One sneeze two coughs even better question to ask is are we all slowly going insane? Come on. Is this what you call adult behavior? I haven't seen much of that lately if you you know It seems to me people just don't look at or don't care about science and the statistics I mean look even in Italy the country with the worst measured fatality rates so far What most people don't realize is around eighty six percent of the deceased have been aged 70 or older and fifty percent 80 or older and as it turned out every last one of them had some kind of underlying chronic

[07:09] Condition of which they were taking some kind of prescription medicine However on the positive side that means next time you visit grandma you've got a great excuse now not to give her a big hug Look when I was a kid, I did not see my grandma much maybe twice a year and I did not like hugging her She always smelled like an old farmhouse. Yep to this day I remember that smell because she lived in an old farmhouse Makes me sound like a rat doesn't it? Yeah, you know my brother and I had many discussions about it on that long lonely car ride out to the farm I think my brother liked it less than I did in fact one time he pissed her off by saying Grandma when I get old is my face gonna be wrinkly and leathery like yours Yep, kids can be brutally honest and that year for his birthday from her He got five bucks instead of the usual ten speaking of wrinkly lathery faces not leathery lathery

[07:59] Let's talk for a second about beards and mustaches which are natural food bacteria and virus traps And wouldn't you know it here in macho Latin America facial hair on guys Anyway, it's a very prized and cultivated possession because you know very few Latin American guys can cultivate a nice thick mustache Your beard. However, the more pure Spanish blood the bigger and thicker the beard With some Latin countries having an indigenous population of over 50% that means indigenous people with Mayan Incan and Aztec blood Like native North American Indians have very little facial hair it's a fact the more European mixed in the blood the more facial hair and Latinos are very much aware of that and since you know Many Latinos are quick to lie about the percentage of European blood

[08:46] They have the more the better seeing that there's such a high level racism towards indigenous cultures here That's why you're always running into young Latino guys with just a few spindly little Pathetic hair sprouting from the lip or chin to us. It's laughable and idiotic I know so it means a lot down here to these clueless Latinos somehow it gives them bragging rights But I don't know why now to me and so many other first-world gringos There's nothing worse than a straggly patchy beard or mustache like a certain famous Barber friend of mine from Chicago once said if you can see a patch of skin through anyone's beard or mustache Give it up. Don't even try meanwhile down here in Latin America Seems like every guy who can sprout three hairs on his chin thinks he's the next Antonio Banderas

[09:32] I'm talking about the young Antonio Banderas not the 120 pound bag of bones Banderas you see on the screen today Well looks like he's on AZT. Oh and by the way, did you know that certain ER doctors associations in both Europe and the states? They've advised their medical staffs to shave their beards off completely for hygiene reasons Of course not to mention Australian paramedics have all been told they must shave their beards Why because masks need to have a good seal and it's impossible to have a good seal with any kind of facial hair Not to mention if you've got mutton chops sideburns a handlebar mustache or Alaskan whaler beard Studies have proved guys with beards and facial hair touch their faces three to five times more than a clean-shaven guy Which I guess means if you've got a philosopher's beard and a handlebar mustache

[10:22] You're probably absent-mindedly stroking that thing and occasionally twirling the ends of that mustache like snidely whiplash In other words, you're fucked In fact the CDC the Center for Disease Control in the US recommends no facial hair at all But if you must have it they list 12 styles that may be appropriate for a face mask Funny thing is I'm a guy and I never even heard of some of these facial hairstyles like for example the soul patch What the hell's that the pencil style the toothbrush style the lampshade the Zorro the Zappa the walrus The painter's brush and the chevron hmm. Some of those sound more like pubic hairstyles, don't they? But there's more the CDC adds even a little stubble which is all the fashion and the rage today

[11:10] The so-called five o'clock shadow. Well, the CDC says in writing those styles will definitely reduce the effectiveness of your mask Now come on, isn't it self-evident that any kind of facial hair is going to collect more food bacteria viruses coke and cooties did I say coke Could be yet guys persist in using beards as a fashion statement Now as for me when I'm out and about grocery store, whatever and I see a guy with a big beard I'm thinking buddy have your macho jeans overridden your survival jeans, but hey, that's just me However on a positive note masks are a golden gift and an opportunity for Marginally ugly people in the live-action not internet mating and dating game because you know with internet dating people are

[11:59] Always lying their asses off because you know with a mask It's a way to automatically get one or two points added to your score Yep, when it comes to separating the beauties from the beasts a mask is a great equalizer Yes, even a cutesy masks do wonders for snaggle-tooth guys with halitosis and huge honkers That includes you sun-damaged leather-faced ladies, too. You know who you are now. Let's not be accused of look ism I'll say this I don't get it every time I see a lady especially a young lady with a hairy mole or elbow Sideburns I'm thinking man if you grew up in my old neighborhood in Chicago the cut-ups and bullies would have eaten you alive Then again, some people will say that's one of the things that makes the Middle East mysterious All those millions of ladies with burkas and veils they get extra points, too

[12:45] Now that reminds me of a three Stooges episode where Shemp was to inherit a million bucks But he had to get married within 24 hours. So he married a veiled Arab lady You know how that turned out which makes you wonder how's this mass gloves and social distancing thing gonna play out time will tell However, I fear in the near future in the States Anyway, you'll see signs in every establishment that say not just no shoes No shirt, no service, but no shoes. No shirt. No mask. No chip. No vaccine card. No service Yep, George Orwell's world has arrived and I'm so glad I'm here in Latin America Oh and one more thing about masks I'm really amazed by the simple lack of basic biology taught in school what almost no one seems to understand is that to see

[13:34] Or observe a single virus requires an electron microscope Meanwhile, you only need a regular light-powered microscope to see the holes in any particular mask now I'm not talking about a defect here. It's just that all masks have tiny little holes that allow for the passage of air Except those holes are like the Holland Tunnel for a virus So while your mask might be highly rated a c95 for example And it may reduce the spread of the virus that's suspended in liquids and aerosols in the air What people don't realize is that even a c95 mask will not stop Individual viruses all you can hope for even with a so-called high-quality mask is reducing the viral load That is lower the virus count of the particles entering your lungs in hopes that your immune system can take care of a small number

[14:24] Of particles at a time. So then what's my recommendation? Now, I know some of you might just think of me as some blabbermouth with a weekly podcast Remember I have a degree in engineering and Biomedical engineering that means I should know slightly more than the average guy about these things That said, let me throw this at you You've heard of HEPA filters. Maybe that's a GPA stands for high efficiency particulate absorbing filter HEPA HEPA now get this the COVID virus is approximately zero point one two five microns in diameter It falls squarely within the particle size range that HEPA filters capture with extraordinary efficiency Now I've seen in some media outlets they say that HEPA filters won't do the trick but they're wrong

[15:12] They've got incomplete information because HEPA filters come in five different grades And even if you order a standard HEPA filtration device for your home Almost a hundred percent of these filters will capture ultra fine particles below the point three micron average HEPA filter test standard Now what you might not know is many high-end cars like Audis BMWs and Mercedes actually have a HEPA filter in their ventilation systems check your manual You'll see most of them do but to get the best level of filtration while in your car You have to keep it in the recycle mode instead of continuously bringing in fresh air from the outside You know, that's the mode the recycle mode you use most when you're using air conditioning in your car

[15:58] But aside from that I recommend you get a HEPA filter for your home Now oddly enough and by coincidence about a year ago, I bought one of these things well before the virus I did hours and hours of research I wanted a small unit that I could take with me if for example I was staying at an Airbnb in a big city now I don't have allergies or anything that might necessitate me purifying the air in a space Except I know that big Latin cities are always pretty polluted It's easy to tell all you have to do is look out the window when you're Circling before landing at an airport You can also visibly see a lot of pollution in the morning when the Sun's first coming up Problem is most Latin cities have an ungodly number of motorcycles that are never quite tuned up And there are so many junk cars on the roads and chicken bus spew and smoke that makes high levels of pollution

[16:48] Inevitable add to that the fact that there's virtually no environmental department Testing exhaust gas emissions from the tailpipe So considering all that I decided to get one of those little HEPA filters The one I have is about as big as a Cuisinart food processor. It's ultra quiet has about four different speeds Weighs less than 10 pounds and it's got a sensor that tells you when you have to change the filter or clean it and so Far I've been using this thing 24-7 for about a year now and I haven't had to change the filter at all The sensor has not popped on saying change me please even so a replacement filters only around 20 bucks Now if you want to know exactly which HEPA filter I use and believe me I highly recommend this thing send me an email the expat files at gmail.com and I'll send you the Amazon link

[17:34] I think it was something like 70 bucks It's been one of the best purchases I've ever made now some people will buy a rather large one that will take care of The whole house they come in all sizes the one I have is a small one, but it's the latest design It'll filter the air for three small rooms very nicely though Some people will just stick it in the bedroom for sleeping Oh and when I last cleaned the filter manually about three months ago It was absolutely amazing to see how much junk was trapped in there again. I don't make a thing for recommending this product It's a good one. That's all you need to know by the way You know where most of the world's HEPA filters are in hospital surgical and intensive care units that says it all And one more thing about masks that bugs me when I see people on the street jogging or exercising and even just shopping in a grocery

[18:19] Store, they'll often remove or shift their masks around multiple times to make it more comfortable or easier to breathe So what do they do they touch the front part of the mask, which is the moist part It's got the most viral load on it And then they touch the door handles packages shopping carts steering wheel stick shift car radio Cellphone you get the picture Now said about that. All right changing gears. I mentioned in the last show I've been getting three times as many emails and questions from people most all of them coming from people who have not Got their plan be in motion yet and now are kind of panicking. So how's your plan be coming? You know, my next expat insider seminar is coming up in late August Starting Friday the 21st and finishing Thursday night the 27th now

[19:09] And I figured by the first week in May I'll have the sign-up sheet and all the info ready on my website expat plan B Com and when I say people are panicking or are really on edge I'm not kidding since travel restrictions are everywhere and the airlines are all screwed up So aside from the fact that many more people are interested in coming down to my next seminar because well They finally realized that everything bubbles been popped and that social financial and economic chaos is at their doorstep anyway, most people most thinking people that is realize with this Unprecedented stimulus package a huge wave of inflation's coming. Of course He also realized there'll be deflation first which makes sense because initially everybody's scrambling for cash to pay their bills So people are coming to the realization that though dollars are important now because bills are coming due

[19:58] Very shortly The dollar will be worth less and less and that they better start diversifying into other assets that will at least Manage to preserve their wealth. So for you skeptics just to review why we're screwed and huge inflation's coming Just remember that in the last 100 years since the Federal Reserve came into existence. The US has printed 900 billion dollars. That's 900 billion dollars in the last hundred years Then when the 2008 crash came they printed three times as much money as was printed in the previous hundred years In other words, they increase the money supply 300% then in just the last month the Fed created three times as much money as Had been created in all the US's past history and that's massively

[20:46] inflationary so we've seen this flood of money just in the last month that we've never seen before an experiment in madness Because you know if you understand anything about capitalism or read Adam Smith's historic opus on capitalism written in 1776 called the wealth of nations He states plainly companies and institutions that have not managed their assets correctly are supposed to fail They're supposed to go bankrupt. No one's supposed to save them. That's how capitalism is supposed to work Inefficient companies and businesses are weeded out and when the dust settles You've got more competition a stronger system and cheaper and better products But when an artificial parasite like government steps in and says certain industries are too big to fail

[21:31] They're injecting mass doses of corporate socialism into the system If you look at history Every empire from the French to the Germans to Dutch the British when they cranked up the taxes and turn down the printing presses It was the end of the Empire. That's exactly where we are today so like it or not we're at the end of a long-term debt cycle a Cycle that's been repeated over and over again. It never fails But countries and empires never learned from the past either historically when empires print money and don't back it by anything The crash burn disappear and are replaced by another system In fact, the Fed has just made the biggest most risky bet in the history of the world by increasing the money supply 300% in a period of one month with that massive bet which has no basis in sound economic theory

[22:21] They're counting on or hoping that the rest of the world will continue using the US funny money system as the standard Not only that they're in the process of buying and backing every known financial asset that exists allowing almost no bank or financial Institution corporation or organization to fail top of that they've done something else that's never been done before a huge experiment They've changed the fractional reserve system for banks used to be they had to have $10 in reserve for every $90 they'd lend out one in nine now. It's infinite. No reserve necessary at all That means the banks can create an infinite amount of money and loans That's sure to turbocharged inflation too and here's another thing that should really piss you off

[23:06] But people don't think about it You know if you put your money in a bank you get zero to maybe 1% interest yet You'll see every time bank quarterly reports come out banks report record profits year after year When banks can borrow money from the Fed at zero interest yet for credit cards They're charging you 20 even 30% interest talk about virtual thieves They get free money and they gouge the hell out of you and me You know what else drives me nuts when people glorify Warren Buffett We know George Soros is a criminal, but everyone gives Warren Buffett a pass Well, here's what you didn't know and it should really piss you off last year and you can look it up Americans were charged 36 billion dollars in overdraft fees from their banks In other words, if you wrote a check and you didn't have enough money in your account

[23:54] They'd nail you with a $30 or $40 fee Whatever in other words, it was the poorest Americans paying those fees because they're the ones that are gonna do the overdrafts They're the ones always short on dough now Here's the part you probably never heard the banks took this 36 billion dollars in overdraft charges and paid it out as dividends to shareholders and the largest shareholder of Wells Fargo Bank of America and all the big ones is Warren Buffett, he got the biggest share of that 36 billion dollars in overdraft money So in effect, he's the guy who took the most money from the poorest members of society in America The problem is people don't understand how their money Disappears and ends up in the hands of the richest 1% or 0.1% People don't understand that all the debt cards are stacked against them

[24:41] And then people go and celebrate Warren Buffett as this big capitalist hero The fact is practically a day won't go by where you don't see his ugly mug being interviewed by some talking head on the news Or on a podcast with people hanging on to his every word and people especially in finance celebrate him like the guy They all want to become ever wonder why he hates crypto and Bitcoin because cryptos are bank killers And that's how he makes his dough bottom line now that the everything bubbles been popped Abnormal is the new normal reminds me of a quote that goes back a long way I don't know who said it, but I like it goes like this on a long enough timeline Government will do the right thing But only after they've tried everything else and failed and when they finally get around to it

[25:28] The Titanic will have already hit the iceberg. So who said that? Well, I think it might have been Alfred E. Newman And then I had a call from expat Eddie. He said this just last week. He said Johnny I hope everyone's enjoying their free 90-day test trial of socialism Oh, and as you well know, you can vote in the socialist government, but it takes guns to kick them out Alright, we're getting towards the end of the show now I'd like to remind you once again that you can get on my early bird waiting list for my August 2020 expat insider's seminar will be taking place in the Altiplano highlands of Guatemala at 6,000 feet Where it's springtime weather all year round and also in the lowlands and beaches of El Salvador to get on the mailing list and in On the early bird discounts. Just shoot me an email the expat files at gmail.com

[26:17] And don't forget however far along you are on your plan B You'll be thinking about health insurance once you land in Latin America It's all the more pressing now with this virus thing By the way, I can tell you all the public hospitals and clinics that is the national health care hospitals and clinics in Latin America Are absolutely balls to the wall packed to the gills with coronavirus cases However, all the private hospitals, you know people who have private health insurance Which is only about five percent of the Latin American population All those first world style private hospitals are far from overwhelmed back for most of those hospitals It's business as usual and that's mostly because the virus has basically hit the poor and lower classes Who are on their country's national health care system because they don't have the money to buy private insurance, but you know that already, right?

[27:07] Anyway, I'm just saying you'll want to get private health care insurance once you get down and who wouldn't since full coverage is generally Under a hundred bucks a month and the best way to find out everything you need to know about Latin American health care coverage Besides of course coming to my seminar where we spend a whole day on it Well, just go to expat plan B calm and click on Johnny's Latin American health care report It's an eye-opener. So do pick it up You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B

[27:54] Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com. No spamos You