#983 – Navigating Rules, Bureaucracy, and the Pandemic in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now that I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started You know with all this cold idiot stuff going on You've got to ask yourself a question when the vaccine comes. Are you gonna take it? You're wondering how could I ask that question? Cuz you know the vaccines gonna come and they're gonna make it mandatory, right? Just like in most states your kids can't go to school unless they're vaccinated. Well, you know

[00:50] There's a reason why they call Latin America the third world because a lot of things don't operate like they do up in the first world Now, of course, you can imagine if they're gonna make the vaccine mandatory up in the first world They're gonna make it mandatory in the third world too However, if you recall a couple of shows ago I told the story about a gringo from my jammy who flew in with his Cuban girlfriend You know when they arrived in the airport in Panama City, they took a saliva swab and blood from her But he being the libertarian type wasn't having any of it So he just slipped the health care worker nurse or whoever the official was taking the blood in the saliva swab 50 bucks though, it could have been 20 you can't remember and she just waved him through no blood no saliva Hmm and people wonder why so many smart free-spirited libertarian types move to Latin America

[01:39] Now I'm not saying you should do anything illegal here And what I'm gonna have to suggest next is something you'll have to decide for yourself But the fact is I've been living in Latin America 30 plus years now And I know the whole Latin American mindset is that rules almost all of them copied from first world rule makers are? Extremely flexible. They can be bent twisted buried tied in nuts And of course broken in half with ease all it takes is a wink and some grease I mean look when bribing cops is a way of life Backdating contracts and legal forms done all the time when cheating on your taxes or I should say Tax avoidance is a national pastime where million-dollar houses are valued on the books for 50 or 60 grand again to beat the tax man where five bucks will get you to the front of any government line and

[02:30] The list goes on and on well if you don't think you could get the form or card or whatever you're gonna need to prove that you've had the Vaccine if you think one of those documents can't be obtained on the sly for the right price Obviously you've never lived in Latin America The fact is I've already spoken to a few lawyers and doctors in various Latin countries myself And of course I brought the vaccine thing up and how it's a fact that so many gringles and expats are getting the hell out Of dodge just to get out from under the thumb of big brother with a huge percentage of them Unwilling to take the vaccine and you know Latin lawyers and medical professionals Sympathize with that and when I mentioned the idea of possibly getting a medical doctor to sign off on the Document or card that says you've had the cold idiot vaccine when in reality, maybe you haven't well

[03:20] Let's just put it this way I got a lot of half smiles and winks from more than a few professionals who are on the same Wavelength as me and most of you they believe based on so much conflicting evidence that the COVID vaccines gonna be a crapshoot They're afraid that the cure will be worse than a disease We just won't know until there's a long enough passage of time and that's the problem Vaccines need double-blind tests that last for years and years. Well, that ain't gonna happen So then the bottom line if you're totally against vaccinations of practically any kind and that's the camp I happen to be in and remember, I'm not just shooting from the hip. I have a degree in electrical engineering and Biomedical engineering. So I think I know just a little bit more about biology than the average government

[04:07] Covid it laying down the crazy ass ever-changing rules. We're all supposed to follow So the fact is in the near future We're all gonna be forced to carry around a covid proof of vaccination Carter form or we won't be able to travel shop mingle or even take a in a public restroom By the way, there's practically nothing I hate worse than taking a in a public restroom Well, maybe there is that be doing it in an airplane John. Yeah, or is it just me? How about you? But I digress. Where were we? Oh, yeah So in a way, you should thank Buddha for ubiquitous Latin American inefficiencies laziness and bureaucratic Corruptibility the fact is down here. No matter what you need. Everyone knows a guy who knows a guy And usually the first guy you want to talk to when you want to find a guy that knows a guy is your personal

[04:56] Lawyer, so you better have one because believe me down here You're not gonna be able to walk into just any old lawyer's office someone you don't know someone you've got no Relationship with I mean really I don't think you're gonna introduce yourself and say hey counselor You don't know me, but I was wondering and this is not quite on the up-and-up But you see I'm in a bind. I need someone who might be able to bend the rules a little bit for me Well, what do you think he's gonna say? Well, if he doesn't know he's probably gonna say can't help you pal After all you are an unknown quantity to him But if he knows you and you're a client of his he just might say I know a guy who knows a guy And you know, I've seen this scenario many times for example Let's say a gringo or expat in a particular Latin country doesn't have a driver's license say he lost his Ohio

[05:43] License or expired. Well, I've seen guys walk into their lawyer's office and say look I really need a valid driver's license sooner or later The cops are gonna pick up on that and I'll be screwed and that's the rule You know, you can't get a legal driver's license in Latin America unless you've got residency Yeah well It doesn't hurt to ask your lawyer if there's some way around that because if you've got a good relationship with your lawyer He will usually know a guy who knows a guy if you know what I mean And I predict it's gonna be exactly the same way with the co-videa proof of vaccination Card or form that everyone's gonna be required to carry though. I want to make it clear right now That I don't want to be the conduit for any of that kind of activity But I know what's gonna be going on in a big way That said for any of you guys or gals come into my 2021 expat insider seminar

[06:33] If you're wondering or just curious about that kind of thing I'm sure you'll run into a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy now said about that again I'm not advising you to do anything illegal But since the name and the theme of this show is the expat files living in Latin America It is my duty to let you all know what certain gringles and expats actually do when they're confronted with certain sticky problems And let me tell you most of the sticky situations you might run into Can sometimes be unstuck by your lawyer who knows a guy who knows a guy It's not like hearing the same thing from some scruffy gringo in an expat bar who just might be setting you up for a scam That's why I say it's never good to do what so many cheapskate expats and backpackers do Who always seem to be chasing down the lowest bidder just to save a few nickels

[07:21] They use one lawyer for residency one to set up an SA corporation another to set up a bank account He was another when they're buying piece of land or property Turns out a lot of gringos expats especially backpackers are priced shopping lawyers all the time and I can tell you from experience That's the wrong way to go about it Especially since lawyers fees here in Latin America can be 20% even less of what you'd pay for the same services up in the states All right Speaking of getting out of the dodge and the advantages of getting out of dodge comes this article that just came out today from Michael Schneider on zero hedge and I'll paraphrase this to cut off the boring parts It says in all of US history We've never seen anything like the mass exodus of 2020 Where hundreds of thousands of people are leaving major cities on both coasts in search of a better life Then it says homelessness crime and drug use were already on the rise in many of the large cities

[08:11] But many big city residents were willing to put up with a certain amount of chaos and ordered to maintain their lifestyles However, the kovat 19 pandemic and months of civil unrest have finally pushed many people over the edge Moving companies on both coasts are doing a booming business as wealthy and middle-class families flee at a blistering pace and most Of these say they will never plan on returning Los Angeles and California in general are perfect examples Once upon a time it attracted wealthy and famous people from all over the world now, California cities are on the brink Now you see for sale signs dotted on every suburban street in the middle classes and upper middle classes Particularly with those families hoping to flee for the safer suburbs with many leaving LA San Francisco and California

[08:58] Permanently with moving and storage companies saying there's a mass exodus right now From none other than Hollywood. There's also a mass exodus of people out of San Francisco Where inventory new listings to hit the market have jumped 96% over the same period last year as a flood of new home listings hits the market every day But it's not just California according to recent data from United Van lines moving company between May and June. There were two 95% increase year-over-year in moves out of Manhattan, New York with the once bustling city of New York Now on the verge of looking like a demilitarized zone between the pandemic and the riots in the city It's looking more like a dystopian nightmare most businesses boarded up But you knew that already, right?

[09:46] Just a question. How long have I been saying it's time to get the hell out of Dodge 10 years now You know, you're never a hero and you never get respect when you're ahead of the curve And now practically every email I get has within the first paragraph somewhere the phrase Johnny You were right Hmm. You think I should get some I told you so t-shirts and business cards printed up. Nah, that'd be gauche Hey, I don't want to be right I just want to live and maintain a nice first world standard of living and I'll never be able to do that up in The United States. That's why I'm here in Latin America But you knew that already too didn't ya? So again, the question I ask on every show is how's that plan B coming? Are you heading for the lifeboats or are you resigned to going down with the Titanic?

[10:32] Well, you know the easiest and fastest way to get a head start on that plan B is to come down to my expat insider Seminar the next one starts Friday, January 8th 2021 Have a look at the agenda and the sign-up sheet at expat plan B calm I know it's a ways away about four months from the date. This show goes out today's show date August 21st 2020 with the seminar starting Friday evening, January 8th 2021 and ending Thursday night, January 14th, so it's a little over four months away and I had to plan it that way We know by then anyway things will have slipped into the new normal Whatever that is by then the chaos and the co-vitiate stupidity We'll have subsided and we should be in a reasonable pattern by then if not then we're all doomed, huh?

[11:21] So come to the seminar get a two to five year head start on your plan B hook up with me and my expat network Check it out. Go to expat plan B calm Sign up soon and get in on those early bird discounts and for you single travelers If you're interested in saving 750 bucks off the single price I can hook you up with the same sex roommate By the way down here in latin america with lag time and full gear. We still have only two sexes. How about that? Male and female what a concept Oh and speaking of getting out of dodge and the collapse and chaos of big cities up in the states Addressing that very point comes his email from expat insider attendee dave Who knows what a pain in the ass is to live in california? Because that's where he is right now He says johnny as you mentioned in the show as part of my plan b

[12:08] I too know that it's necessary to leave california for at least a year before getting out of dodge completely By the way dave is talking about the fact that you have to establish residency in another state other than california If you leave the country or you end up paying California taxes the rest of your life. I mentioned that on the last show. Anyway, he says Johnny you're right The latest thing from california government is to tax people even if they leave california Just like the feds do with us citizens. They tax your worldwide income In fact california tax collectors are more notorious than the irs The california version of the irs is called the state board of equalization Could there be a more communist name than that? Then he says for you texans who complained that californians are moving to texas and turning texas into california

[12:57] The fact is that trump won some texas counties in the election because of the california transplants without former californians in texas That pus-filled maggot bag hilary would have taken texas By the way, that was me johnny who injected the pus and the mag for example my very smart mother who's around 90 years old Right now. She's the one you know who goes into the voting booth and doesn't select individual candidates She just pulls that democrat lever and selects them all a lot of very senior citizens do that You know because like her they still believe that the democratic party is the party of the canadies Somehow they can't get that camelot era out of their minds They don't want to believe like the republicans that democrats are completely corrupt That's the mindset of the grandmothers from the world war two greatest generation

[13:44] Even though the logic is all wrong. I can understand where they're coming from Think of it this way the music you like and love and will always like and love were the hits that were in the charts When you were between the ages of about 14 and 25 and even though you're 40 50 60 70 years old right now That's still the music you love and cling to the stuff that always gives you a warm nostalgic fuzzy feeling And even though there are millions of lemming kovidiots out there There are millions of very smart people Especially older very smart people who are just chomping at the bit to get that vaccine Like my very smart mother who i've had this conversation with yet. She still gets the flu vaccine every year She along with her 70 80 and 90 ish friends. I call the widows club And get this nearly every one of them still gets the flu every year and when I bring that up to my smart mother

[14:34] She says yes, I do get the flu, but i'm sure it's an attenuated version of it She thinks getting a shot makes the flu less severe on a biological basis. That makes no sense Go ahead look it up do some research and you'll find that if you're actually being protected by a vaccine Your body's immune system will take care of it before you get any overt signs The for example, if you get a small pox vaccination, which we all got when we were little kids And most of us have that little crater pock on our arm to prove it Well, if my smart mother's erroneous logic prevailed that would mean at some point or another most people would get small pox light But no that doesn't happen. You got the one pock mark and that's it Which by the way happens to be one of the very few vaccinations that actually works and does what it's supposed to do

[15:21] Don't take my word for it. Look it up But you know, no matter how devastating this covid it thing is The psychology of it the effects it's had on society and the financial world etc Nothing bad, you know comes without at least one or two positive effects For one people stuck at home bored with not much to do often get to those do-it-yourself clean up plumbing Electrical and home repair projects they've been putting off for years But I could think of another positive effect that seems to be exclusive to latin america People are actually learning to tighten up on the manana time thing Instead of being two or three hours late for an appointment They've cut that down to an hour or so and that's of course because of the lockdown and the quarantine When the government says you have to be off the road by five seven nine, whatever the number they pick

[16:09] Well for the first couple of weeks manana time prevailed and people were still on the road ambulating and wandering around Hours beyond the deadline But now after a couple of months and lots of warnings in the press and in the media about fines and such Latinos are actually starting to fall in line. They're respecting the quarantine lockdown hours Oh, there are still some stragglers And the cops and government slugs are extremely lenient still this quarantine lockdown thing has affected the manana time attitude Like nothing i've ever seen before in my 30 years down here And that's a good thing because you know, although the concept seems quaint manana time That means everyone's going to be a little late for everything Believe me for many successful gringos and expats who left the first world to live in latin america

[16:54] People who always valued time and promptness well that manana time thing It's something gringos and expats complain about the most but it's so ingrained and so part of society It did take a big chaotic event like this covid thing to shake them out of it or partially shake them out of it And it has in the time is money respect kind of dragged latin america kicking and screaming into the 20th century where time is money Notice I said 20th century Meanwhile, have you noticed in this covid it crisis? No matter what country you're talking about the supply of government and health care idiots and morons far outstrips the demand Though I guess that's to be expected Because even if you're an average guy that means every other person you pass on the street is dumber than you are God the thought of that just drives me nuts and I was always a kind of glass half full guy, too

[17:44] Though not about the world and the people who run it and that's for sure But about me taking responsibility for my own life All right changing gears, but not so much What about gringos and expats living here in latin america who do contract corona? Well, we've got a long time listener who's going to tell us all about that because he got hit himself Listen to this this email comes from robert He says hola johnny from a bit farther north in the magnificent morning chill of the altiplano I'm in ohaka mexico 5 000 feet in elevation I just caffeine'd up on freshly ground local coffee and i'm ready to share my own experience actually getting covet 19 Down here amongst full-blown Covidient local paranoia gone truly mad you see johnny after getting pretty disgusted with the ignorant locals

[18:34] Overreacting with such daily blunt-headed actions as roadblocks Making me get out of my van while they spray the inside with bleach water or whatever mixture They're using then you've got those bored security guards and renokops at the mall Yielding pistol grip laser thermometers like beer bellied captain kirks with toys are us phasers Though I know you johnny laid out the local ignorance so well Anyway with all the morons running around throwing logic to the wind I decided to throw social distancing caution to the wind as well and stop being paranoid myself And given a healthy dose of your aforementioned gringle predilection for internet research and realizing that eventually

[19:19] All of us will be exposed to this apparently lab tweaked micro booger Even as it seems to be losing its potency overall due to mutations over time Well that said I gave up on any serious mask wearing besides what it takes not to inflame the ignorant down here Occasionally I even hopped an inner city bus here to the state capital too Funny how in buses its social distancing be damned Meanwhile since this chaos started I was dosing up with small weekly doses of chloroquine Which is fairly well proven as an anti-viral drug along with zinc I did that just to have a bit of a barrier in case I did get nailed with a virus Oh and by the way johnny with absolutely no side effects as the chloroquine known is well proven for over 70 years as a potent

[20:09] Anti-malarial drug with almost no downside if you use it responsibly However, it struck and I did get nailed the classic signs of shortness of breath fever malaise sore throat and dry cough So I upped the chloroquine dosage to the regimen doctors are having good luck with globally All the well wondering what direction this whole shebang was going to go Whether the invaders trying to nest in my lungs are going to go on and make a total nest in there or not It's the usual paranoia when dealing with the lab experiment that's gone off the rails And conflicting intel and symptoms reported from all over the globe. Who do you believe flip a coin? So then did I end up in an icu with a thirty thousand dollar ventilator bill? Nope, it was the usual 10 to 12 days of getting over it and I was well

[20:56] But during all this I have asked locals here if they have any friends or family who've gotten covet 19 and surprisingly few have answered Yes Or maybe it's because no one has the numbers because tests are expensive here and apparently with the accuracy of a cross-eyed sniper Then one amigo of mine said his daughter had been nailed with the virus and got over it by going on the natural route Of mixing up a pot full of local herbs and garlic and onions and throwing a blanket over her head twice a day And breathing in the mixture deeply. It's not voodoo johnny It's classic antivirals grown locally and apparently it worked for her in the same 12 day window That ran for me, but get this johnny. My friend added It's very important not to bathe at all during that treatment That's some of the indigenous local folklore tossed in for good measure

[21:44] So I guess there is a touch of voodoo Oh and johnny as you mentioned a few times over the years I'm drawn to the slightly eccentric locals over the mainstream fairly shallow types Otherwise known as gringo wannabes turns out to somewhat oddball non-traditional more open-minded folks down here I'm drawn to them because they have a slightly more latin spicy slant on life I find them intriguing and worth a bit more of my precious old guy time I'm talking about the time. I have left on old t.r firma So johnny my final takeaway is that this virus covet 19 is real but not to be feared Most folks will shrug it off easily and old baby boomer dudes like me will have a bit of a tougher time for sure But still just don't let the virus turn from a brush fire into a raging forest fire

[22:31] Just douse it with a little chloroquine and zinc or use the local antiviral herb treatment It may last two weeks. So no matter what they say do take a bath And now as a result of beating the thing myself, I forget the mask and social distancing protocols a lot Though when i'm out and about the locals seem to be immersed in more paranoia than ever about it Subconsciously, it's a relief that i've had it. It's behind me though. It takes even more gringo patient skills not to be irritated By the cloud of pandemic ignorance. I see all around me here. Oh well They don't call him covet it's for nothing. Now. There's a thought covet it bumper stickers t-shirts and masks could go viral And johnny, thanks again for the great info six years down here in oaxaca mejo

[23:19] And still listening weekly and learn something new and useful all the time from someone much farther down the expat experienced rat hole than me Wait a minute. Did he say rat hole? No, it was me. He said rabbit hole So johnny best wishes from oaxaca a somewhat temporary oasis of peace in a mexico that's slowly Descending into a failed state signed robert. Well robert. Thanks for that report. Glad to see you shook it By the way, I know two other expats living south and south of the border that also got the covet thing They recovered quickly within a week and they said it was nothing more than a medium to a medium well Case of the flu and here's the prophylactic regimen they were on By the way, this is what i'm on too been on it for months now three grams of vitamin c a day

[24:06] 200 milligrams of zinc 200 micrograms of selenium 5000 international units of vitamin d3 a gram of magnesium citrate and a gram of shaga mushroom extract And I get all that stuff from amazon because the local health food stores here in latin america that have imported Vitamin and mineral products are ridiculously expensive Why because they cater to the wealthy and upper class gringo wannabe crowd Who will spend stupid amounts of money just because it's the gringo thing to do i'm not kidding I've been to many upper middle class and wealthy latinos houses I've walked into their kitchens and I see on the counter Five or six bottles of vitamins and minerals with the gnc label on them And i'm sure most of you listeners out there know Gnc is not the place smart people buy their vitamins and supplements in fact

[24:52] They're three four five times as expensive as getting them directly off amazon Oh, and by the way, there's a company called bulk supplements. You get them on amazon, too They've got something like 200 different vitamins and minerals not in jars or cans But resealable packs and some of this stuff is five times cheaper because you're buying it In powder form by the ounce pound in kilo The only thing is a lot of people are used to peel in capsule form So you got to measure the stuff out with gram and milligram measuring spoons But man will you save the dough i've been buying that stuff from bulk supplements through amazon for years now Have a look and you'll see what I mean and sure you can go to their website I don't make anything off of this, but you actually can get them cheaper on amazon again. Just for your information Oh and another thing just for your information I'm always getting listeners asking for the instructions for my under counter water purification system

[25:44] You know the permanent system with three canisters that sits under your kitchen sink and supplies pure water Through a spout you install right next to your regular faucet Oh, and it's well under a hundred bucks to set the whole thing up until now I've only had the instructions on how to assemble a thing but by popular demand I took photos of my system the other day So if you want to see my actual setup send me an email to expert files at gmail.com And i'll send you photos and instructions on how to set one up yourself So you can see exactly how I did it Oh, and by the way, I said it consists of three canisters first a sediment filter then a ceramic filter then a carbon block filter You'll see in the photo between each canister is a quick disconnect So you can take the whole thing apart in something like 30 seconds in case you want to change the filters You just want to disassemble it and take it to your next place to install

[26:30] Oh, and I almost forgot there's one more possible advantage of this covid thing and that would be maybe just maybe latinos will start Placing their used toilet paper in the toilet instead of the trash can wouldn't it be nice if that bad habit Were relegated to the waste bin of history Wait a minute. We want the tp in the toilet. Not the waste bin. Even if it's the waste bin of history You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b send me an email the expat files at gmail.com

[27:18] nos vamos