#1471 – The Expat Files: Plan B, Scams, and Cultural Nuances in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Okay on with the show just a little warning though There's some big-time construction going on right next door There will be some hammering and maybe some dynamite going off. So if you can handle a few distractions Then by all means keep on listening if not, well

[00:48] So, how about I posed this question? What if you found out in three days there was gonna be some kind of grand all-encompassing? Catastrophe in your area your area being the USA or Canada In other words, what would you do if you found out you only had three days to get out of Dodge? Or would you choose to stay and hunker down like so many preppers are figured on doing no, really? I'm serious. What if you were told you had three days to get the hell out of Dodge? Where would you go? Do you have any place to go? Well, you know what the way the world is right now. You'd better start thinking about it. Just don't think it's a joke Do you have a brother sister best friend or something in another country? You could high tail it off to? Just wondering because one of the first things to go when there is a big catastrophe like a hurricane

[01:34] Is a breakdown in the supply chain of food number one? Of course preppers know that they're all prepared I mean look you see what happens to grocery stores a couple of days before a hurricane warning. Oh And what about clean pure water? Have you seen the pictures of what grocery store bottle water shelves look like a couple of days before a hurricane? Completely empty now I'm not advocating you become a prepper But you should prep a little have enough food and water on hand to get you through a couple of weeks Anyway, I'll tell you what if I was living up in the states and I was one of those America love it or leave it guys I'd certainly be a prepper probably have enough stuff in my basement to last a year I'd probably make a Mormon jealous my own well solar water purification stuff guns and ammo, etc, etc

[02:22] Oh and I'd be one of those guys who had a place in the city and one way out in the boonies as well And that place out in the boonies would be my plan B But in a way, you know, that's just short-term thinking because you know in those dire life-and-death Scenarios you've seen it a million times in movie themes when you got the food the water the lights, etc And your neighbors don't that's not a good secure scenario either. Anyway, that's another great reason to have a plan B in Latin America, man I'm telling you Everyone down here. I mean everyone and it has at least one family member living out in the boonies on a farm Growing their own driveway chickens cows pigs to work Everyone's got a connection to the earth somehow So no one's gonna start and I'll tell you people down here are used to

[03:08] Improvising and doing without because the supply chains down here are always being disrupted In fact in the big open produce markets and such its feast or famine one week You've got maybe ten different kinds of mangoes and seven different kinds of avocados the next week There's none, but there's a bumper crop or two of something else I'm telling you people down here in Latin America are Survivor unlike Americans and they're not whiners. They know how to stretch a meal And they don't throw anything away unless it's absolutely useless. That's why you go into someone's kitchen For example, then you see a refrigerator. That's maybe 30 40 years old I'm not kidding in terrible condition bottom panels rusted right through rubber seals around the door rotting off But damn thing still works

[03:54] Not because it hasn't completely died a few times along the way it has but you know Every Latin American middle and lower middle class household has an emergency kit of duct tape chicken wire and a silicone Caulk gun and there's always a jack-of-all-trades is living on your block He'll fix your washer your refrigerator your microwave and it won't be pretty but he'll fix it in that respect It's such a different society than the one you're in up north We throw most of our stuff away and when it's still good It just doesn't look right or it's not the right new model Whereas Latin Americans at least middle and lower middle class Latin Americans keep stuff appliances and such and clothes, etc Until they absolutely cannot be repaired anymore. No matter how tacky they look. They'll still keep it on hand Same goes for their cars and motorcycles, of course, which brings us back again to that question

[04:44] What if you were told you had three days to get the hell out of Dodge? Where would you go? Think about it. That's why it's so imperative for you to get some boots on the ground in Latin America And while you're at it start developing a network once you get down Oftentimes that's the key as to whether your plan B is gonna be a success or not It's all about how well you blend in and if you know people to help you get over the little humps Or you decide to go back to Cleveland with your tail between your legs So then how do you get that network started? Well, first thing when you land is to hook up with a decent Latin lawyer He'll get you started and you'll be on your way, but you knew that already, right? But really the best way to get that all-important network going lawyers accountants physicians dentists

[05:30] Including trustworthy long-term gringos and expats who've been living in the area for a while It's really important to have a network of people you could phone up in a second So if you want to hook up with a really good network fast That is if you're thinking of having your plan B in the Guatemala El Salvador area Just come down to my next week-long expat insider seminar There's no better way to hook up with the right network in a hurry The fact is though because the gringo expat thing is getting to be such a big deal more and more people coming down more and more clueless gringos with no or shitty Spanish and you know, Fresh green gringos are easy marks to take advantage of there are lots and lots of scammers out there lawyers and real estate guys, especially Unfortunately, a lot of the scammers are gringos and expats themselves. So then who can you truck?

[06:16] Well, let's put it this way if you're coming down on your own not knowing anyone Thinking little by little you're gonna find and create your own network and you will if you do it that way the way I did It some 35 years ago Not knowing practically anyone in the Latin country of my choice with practically zero Spanish, too I'd say if you got screwed out of five or ten thousand dollars along the way somehow like I did you got off easy It's sort of what every newbie gringo or expat goes through in the first year or two He's down here if he doesn't have a network established early on But you knew that already right? Anyway, lots of people have been asking me when my next expat insider seminar will launch Well, if you're a longtime listener, you know, I canceled the last one before it got underway Because you know, I have to have a minimum number of attendees to make it work and I did but at the last minute

[07:06] I found out a bunch of them were tire kickers. In other words, they made plans to come down They even paid their initial deposits and then at the last minute pulled out But once again, I've got all kinds of people asking me when I'm gonna put the next one on cuz I want to come down So in order to avoid that kind of problem again, I'm gonna change the sign-up rules a bit and have a $500 Non-refundable deposit this time. I think that should eliminate the tire kickers. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on the dates and such I haven't picked them yet, but it will be early next year in the spring of 2026 So to get on the seminar early bird list, just send me an email the expat finals at gmail.com Then guess what? If you come to the seminar and somehow the shit hits the fan up in the States or Canada I mean really it's the fan and you know, that's quite possible And suddenly you find out you only have three days or some limited time to get the hell out of that

[07:55] Well, guess what? You'll have some place to go and a network to help you through it. All right moving on Let's start with a really edgy email from Ramon. He calls himself almost permanent expat Ramon He starts off saying I've been going back and forth To Bogota, Colombia because I've got a Colombian girlfriend now Looks like it's gonna be a real permanent thing for me leading to marriage and living permanently in Colombia That's essentially my plan B working on getting a property right now Here's my dilemma John my Colombian girlfriends picking up bits and pieces of English from me Which is good and bad kind of a double-edged sword She says she took a year and a half of English in Colombian public schools like most all Colombian kids do even so They almost never learn enough English to speak conversationally with anyone. They learn just enough English

[08:43] She says to get embarrassed to try to use it on anyone Anyway, John, she's been picking up English more and more for me Because my third grade Spanish sucks and I often just try to explain things in English which works Okay, because her English is better than my Spanish So that's how it's been going for maybe the past six months But suddenly most recently she had a breakthrough with her English and she's been starting to ask me questions I don't seem to be able to answer for example, you know in Spanish the word for prostitute is puta and the street slang for Prostitute in English is whore or ho Ho-ho e well, like I said my girlfriend's starting to ask me questions. I can't answer like for example. She says Just the other day Ramon. Why does it seem like all the girlfriends of rappers up in the United States are prostitutes

[09:33] Putas and when I thought about John, I thought she's right That's what you'd think since most rap songs mentioned the word ho Five or ten times or more now John. I tried to explain to her that in the United States She's correct that the word ho technically is a prostitute But nowadays since the English language has so deteriorated in certain cultural circles not just a ghetto anymore The word ho is interchangeable for girl as is the word bitch which he also asked me about because that too if you look up the dictionary definition is Not only a female dog in English, but slang for prostitute Of course, all that's a bit confusing for anyone who's not born and raised American. We get it We understand the subtle differences, but it's ever so difficult for me to explain it to her So I have to hand it to her. She's right in rap songs women are hoes or bitches

[10:23] No one ever talks about virgins or Christian girls or Mormon girls Girls in rap songs are either hoes bitches or baby mamas and The more you think about it Johnny, it's sort of odd because I don't much listen to rap myself But it's all over the airways and half the soundtracks of most Hollywood movies And that's how my girlfriend got on this subject because of what she sees every day on Netflix Latin America. Yeah, Latin America has Netflix Everyone's got it and everyone's addicted to their programs and miniseries, etc Now Latin American Netflix gets all the shows you see up in the states as well as movies and series produced in Latin America and Spain though just like in the states you can choose your audio language and subtitle language though the default audio is always Spanish and Spanish subtitles

[11:12] And of course everyone down here loves Netflix and they watch all the Hollywood movies and miniseries, etc With the audio in Spanish and subtitles in Spanish But when I'm around I switch the subtitle to English But you know for me, I really want to hear a Hollywood movie in the original language English, don't you? Well, that's almost impossible down here when you're watching Netflix with a bunch of Latinos That ain't gonna happen. What I found it really odd Is that before I started watching Netflix in Spanish with English subtitles I mostly had no idea what the rap songs were actually talking about. I just didn't understand them But now watching Netflix for the first time I can see what rap lyrics coming out of Hollywood Look like when they're translated into Spanish. What I'm saying is when you watch a Hollywood movie

[12:00] That's got some rap songs in it, which is unfortunate But they seem to stick them in most every Hollywood movie these days You can see the English and or Spanish subtitles below when you're watching Netflix, of course Which by the way makes movie translations so valuable because for once I can actually understand what the rappers are saying But it also provokes many questions from my Colombian girlfriend For example when my Latino girlfriend asked me why blacks in Hollywood movies Keep repeating the word Negro over and over again But John you and I know they don't keep repeating the word Negro over and over again They repeat the N word over and over again But it seems there is no Spanish translation for the N word So they substitute the word Negro, which simply means black in Spanish

[12:49] Anyway, John my Latina a girlfriend asks, why do they keep doing that? Why do they keep repeating the word Negro? That's almost not natural Hmm. All right me Johnny here for a minute. She's right You know if you watch an American movie on Latin American Netflix the audio is translated in Spanish and the subtitles in English or Spanish your choice and You will hear in Spanish the word Negro for the N word in the audio and the word Negro spelled out in the Spanish subtitles to Ramon goes on to say It's just not accurate Sanitizing the N word for the Latino population because they don't have an equivalent in their language John you have Latina girlfriends How do you answer that? How am I supposed to answer that?

[13:35] How do I explain the N word in movies and rap songs when there ain't no such word in Spanish? Do I tell her because in the big city ghettos in the United States the public schools are so bad That the kids graduate reading at a third or fourth grade level if they're lucky and because it's cool and popular every young school kid Wants to be a rapper. So Johnny do I try to explain to my Latina girlfriend? Because of terrible public school education and horrible conditions at home and no healthy Role models those kids have only rappers drug dealers and sports icons to look up to So as a result these kids who become rappers They have tiny little vocabularies and thus use the word Negro as a universal filler word That's why it shows up in Hollywood movies every seventh or eighth word. Yes, John

[14:23] I could try to explain that to my Latina girlfriend. It would probably suffice, but it wouldn't be the whole truth So how would you handle it John? I'm sure I'm not breaking new ground here I'm sure many Latinas I have asked their gringo boyfriends the same question Then he closes by saying end of rant John Signed expat Ramon living almost permanently now in Bogota, Colombia. Ah Ramon thanks for that. Yes, you've definitely hit on a testy subject there The fact of the matter is folks here in Latin America have no idea that there's a difference between the n-word and the word Negro Yep, you're right to have picked up on it by watching Netflix. They have no idea and use it interchangeably You can tell that by the way Netflix translates Hollywood movies

[15:10] Now if you want to go deep with your girlfriend have fun explaining that if blacks use it It's a greeting yet if whites use it It's a cardinal sin and it'll get you fired or cancel it or worse that said Ramon I've sort of figured out a way to explain it to Latinos that makes sense and they sort of get it So with curious Latinos and Latinos, I use the following analogy now You've heard me say in Latin America there's a lot of racism and classism and as it turns out the lower classes poverty and culturally speaking are always the indigenous people here in Latin America the more indigenous blood you have the lower class you are and the less chance you have of getting ahead as Compared to the regular Latino who's a mix between indigenous and European mostly Spanish blood and believe me

[15:57] Physical differences are strikingly obvious the more of European but let a person has the taller and lighter They are whereas pure indigenous people are much darker and shorter In fact, there are some towns and villages in Guatemala Honduras Salvador Nicaragua Bolivia Peru, etc Where 95 plus percent of the people are indigenous. Anyway, they have their own version of the n-word. It's called indio Indio down here in Latin America if you call someone in India, it's a terrible insult the lowest of the low Yet you'll occasionally hear indigenous people call each other India in fun or just as a greeting Same way low-class blacks use the n-word with their friends But when a Latino calls a person an India them is fighting words

[16:45] Yep, fact is I've heard my maintenance guy who is pure indigenous call a person in India I mean in conversations he's had with me about other people. That means there is shift list. No good untrustworthy No count. So being an indigenous person himself He can use that word all day long but a Latino or gringo. No way not in mixed company Now remember if you do and you let it slip an indigenous person might not react though He'll never forget the insult. So anyway long story short That's how I've learned to explain or partially explain the meaning of the n-word When Latin Americans become curious about what makes it even more complicated though Is I know some Latin Americans who've gone to school up in the States, you know Entitled children of the rich and such and you think after living in the US society for four years, whatever

[17:33] They'd certainly have an understanding of the complications of using the n-word But often they don't all right enough said about that except to say I personally never used the word India Except once in a while when talking about what a trigger it is When fresh green gringos and expats are confronted with someone who uses it The fact is I've heard many upscale wealthy Latinos males almost exclusively use it when talking about their maid gardener cleaning lady Whatever never in front of them though always behind their back again, sort of like what happens with the n-word up in the States Alright moving on. Let's try to clean up a few emails now. This one's from Hannibal. He says Johnny He says mate. I bet he's from down under these guys And then he gives me a link here Paraguay farming calm are offering Paraguay farming investments of a seventy thousand US dollars leading

[18:22] To an immediate permanent resident. What do you think of this? Alright, the reason why I'm taking this shorty mail from Hannibal is because it's rather important You guys hear this the link he sent is from a Paraguay farming outfit Where you're just sort of the silent investor and they do the farming for you and you get a certain percentage of return every year And partial ownership of whatever project they're doing. Well, let me tell you Hannibal I've seen so many of these things come and go and everyone turned out to be a scam or at least No one ever got anything back Everyone gets a haircut and some people walk away with nothing. Oh, and you know, these outfits are all marketing this stuff in English Why not locals aren't dumb enough to buy and it's only the gringos who rarely do the due diligence

[19:08] they're just looking for a foot in the door of a foreign country a high interest rate or at least a higher one than they could get at home and That little carrot dangle of an immediate permanent residency or somewhat immediate Well, let's go back 30 something years ago in Costa Rica where almost the exact same investment opportunity came by back Then most people weren't even on the internet But I saw the pamphlets my Costa Rican lawyer had pamphlets on his desk pointing out these Costa Rican teak farming Investments back then you could get in for chunks of five grand five ten fifteen twenty, whatever and within five to seven years You're supposed to get 17 percent return on your money And after 15 years when the teak trees were fully grown a huge windfall profit and of course Within a couple of months have put down that first five G's you were to get permanent residency in Costa Rica. Guess what?

[19:57] Hundreds of gringos bought in every last one of them lost it all Oh, and let me tell you about that little farming investment Leading to immediate permanent residency in Honduras turns out right after hurricane I think was Mitch came through and wiped out most of the East Coast of Honduras put it underwater Turned it into swampland for a couple years at least came another fantastic farming investment opportunity in English again beautiful glossy pamphlets nice website government endorsements the works again everyone got scammed Oh, and how about Guatemala a couple years back a huge farming investment opportunity leading to immediate permanent residency in Guatemala Again, a silent investment in a huge Guatemalan avocado ranch Guess what friend of mine a nerd buddy mine put I think 15 G's into it

[20:46] He even did boots on the ground went out and looked at it said it was an actual farm Producing avocados look good then one day about year or so later. He called me up Johnny the manager and the accountant took off with all the dough that was in the bank account and Disappeared into Mexico however one of those guys left his wife and kids in Guatemala So after a few big lawsuits the cops came down on her and he resurfaced in Mexico But he'd ripped off so many people he knew if he came back to Guatemala for any reason He'd spend the rest of his days in the slammer I don't know how that ended, but it was big news in Guatemala for a while Oh, and just a few years ago. I saw there was a big property investment scheme building big resorts in Dominican Republic Same thing all in English beautiful pamphlets excellent website you could buy in at blocks of 25k

[21:34] Well the land got bought the project broke ground and everything and now if you were to visit the place you'd only see broken Skeletons of buildings that never were completed so Hannibal I'm not saying that some of these investment projects aren't really jet. I'm sure some of them are I Just haven't seen one yet I'll tell you what's a big red flag for me though is when you the investor puts in a chunk of money and they promise To do all the work, and you know things like farming Avocado teak pineapples, whatever that's a tricky business left to experts And when they guarantee a certain percentage return on your investment How is that possible when in Latin America there are earthquakes hurricanes floods? You know farming is one of the least predictable investments of all you're at the mercy of so many things the weather environment So unless you actually know the principles and they've got a track record and you can go out and visit the place any time

[22:24] And get monthly bona fide reports from a registered accountant on the investment if not I personally wouldn't give it a second look. Oh and Hannibal you're talking about Paraguay man I don't know if you heard it, but in a show I did not so long ago I mentioned how a gringle friend of mine expat inside seminar alumnus and his wife moved to Paraguay Started a real estate business down there and got involved in a farming investment as well Well turns out they got ripped off from day one lost quite a bit Maybe all and moved to El Salvador by the way his wife is a very sharp real estate person speaks Spanish perfectly Born in Guatemala and her family moved to the states when I think she was 10 years old think of it if she very smart 100% Spanish-speaking Latina can get scammed in a farming investment scheme

[23:11] What chance does a homegrown gringo have whose Spanish by the way is non-existent or certainly sucks? Oh one last thing on this Paraguay farming investment. It's persimmons They're growing have seen them but never tried them have you now get this in the link They have a table for average rate of return per year. It's up there 18.4 1% That's what they claim. I say it sounds fishy Who wouldn't jump at 18% when banks are paying what to 3% a year, but hey Hannibal if you want to roll that ice It's your dough Alright moving on. You know a couple of weeks ago. I made an offer to you guys and gals out there I was offering you a free Remodeling and home building checklist a report that specifically explains and goes into lots of details on the do's and don'ts of

[24:01] Building a remodeling here in Latin America Well, I got dozens of requests for that report with people writing back saying things like man this report. It's golden I wish that I had my hands on this two years ago when I started my project I'm mentioning this and putting out that offer again because of all the people reporting in saying it's so handy So again, if you want that report the do's and don'ts of Remodeling and building in Latin America send me an email the expat files at gmail.com Alright, how about this email from Jeff sees as I John even though I'm now deeply entrenched in living in Texas I always enjoy listening to your show and I don't want to think about how many years it's been that I've been listening to you Easily over eight not everything you mentioned is relevant to me But you do have some interesting things that definitely are to the point

[24:48] He says I know you often purposely but your names like fake book and so forth I'm not sure if you're doing it with high on day when you mentioned it in a previous show But having owned two of their vehicles over the years. It's properly pronounced like Sunday So it's not how young day. It's hun day Hmm. Well, Jeff. Thanks for that. You know, I wasn't purposely trying to butcher that name. In fact, I owned a Hyundai myself a Hyundai tuxon. Yeah, that's what they call them down here in Latin America. Not Tucson. They call him tuxon Oh, and you know what they called the Hyundai Santa Fe the new one and the one that looks like a box It's a complete redesign. It's very square. So it looks like a hearse in a funeral procession Anyway down here in Latin America, you're starting to see him around and I've heard people comment and it's obviously they don't think they're very pretty

[25:39] Because I've heard more than a handful of people say there goes a Hyundai Santa Fe not Santa Fe Santa Fe That pronunciation is relevant because the word Fea in Spanish means ugly Of course, that's something an English speaker would never pick up on you got to be down here in Latin America Hey, who says Latinos don't have a sense of humor, huh? Oh and on kind of the same note Remember that Einstein brain trust presidential candidate named Kamala Harris Well, it turns out down here some conservative Latinos who watch American politics were dubbing her Kay mala Harris not Kamala, but Kay mala spelled exactly the same way but

[26:26] Hyphenating the word, you know what Kay mala means if it's split into two words Kay mala It means how bad in English Kay means how or what and mala means bad So like I said some Latinos especially educated Latinos who aren't paying attention Do have a sense of humor. In fact, I heard Doug Casey on one of his podcasts call her that too Kay mala Instead of Kamala, I don't know why because he's speaking in English and his audience certainly doesn't speak Spanish So very few people got the joke But anyway, we're getting towards the end of the show So one final email a short one from Caleb he says Johnny. I spent a couple of months in Medellin, Colombia I know exactly what you mean when you talk about gold diggers chappies or chappie adores

[27:11] Seems to me in Medellin there everywhere, but even outside Medellin you could always spot one She's a girl who calls a taxi or an uber on your dime Just to cross the street signed Caleb in New Jersey Hmm sounds like he maybe got took by a chappie. Well, mr. Kay. Thanks for the info. I'll keep an eye out You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com