#1420 – The Expat Files: Aging, Care, and the Hidden Risks of Living in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play And now as I wander Hello there all you expat wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great And it's all right here so let's get started Just when you thought you've seen everything Just recently I was on a plane from Bogota, Colombia With a Copa Airlines layover in Panama, that's their hub I was in my plane sitting on the aisle seat And across the aisle from me was a guy sleeping

[00:47] A twenty-something guy with cornrow hairstyle You know what I'm talking about, right? Scruffy, spotty beard Obviously in the minimum wage club So you gotta wonder, how could he afford the ticket? Anyway, this guy with a stringy cornrow hairstyle was asleep Dressed, you know, sort of typical ass-crack pants gangster style A Latino guy obviously And he was pretty much out like a light for the first half of the flight Then, as what sometimes happens, people get up to go to the bathroom He got up to go to the bathroom And when he spun out of his seat, that's when I saw the other side of his face Man, talk about doing a double take On the side of his face, right below his eye He had a tattoo of an automatic machine gun

[01:35] Are you getting this? A guy? On an airplane, no less With a machine gun tattooed on his face Now, of course, we're all used to seeing gangbanger tattoos in movies And even in certain news headlines, etc And I'm thinking, man, as far as the authorities are concerned This guy's got an absolute bullseye painted on his face You gotta wonder how much shit he takes going through customs and TSA How many times they shoved him in a room and did complete orifice checks And you know, it's funny, when the guy got back from the bathroom Sat back down and started snoozing off again Talk about having a totally different opinion of the guy You know, before seeing that machine gun and after seeing that machine gun You hardly feel up striking up a conversation I thought to myself, if I was sitting in a bus or a metro, man, I'd be scared shitless

[02:23] Now, my girlfriend was sitting to the left of me, and I poked her with my elbow And I said, have a look And she saw that guy's tattoo as well And when he disappeared into the bathroom, she said I'll bet you a million dollars, or maybe it was pesos He's not on his way to El Salvador Man, was she right, cause you know in El Salvador You have a gangland tattoo, or any kind of tattoo They throw you in the slammer and ask questions later You're automatically a criminal persona non grata Which makes me wonder now, since Trump has designated cartels as terrorists Gang members too That should mean, just like in Salvador, guys and gals with gangland and cartel tattoos People who have marked themselves as members of a gang Should instantly and automatically get rounded up

[03:10] And shoved into a communal lock up where the sun don't shine Hey, I'm off for that You got a gangland tattoo, you get put away So, what do you think? Obviously anyone committed enough to tattoo himself, gang or cartel symbol Is labeling himself a criminal menace to society I say lock every last one of them up and throw away a key Alright, changing gears Here's a question a lot of expats are afraid to ask You know, most all of us find it's awful nice living here in Latin America It's cheap compared to the first world, the weather's great People are friendly, there's a million things to do Stress levels are definitely lower than back home Plus, practically everywhere in Latin America Except for maybe in the vicinity of the Panama Canal

[03:57] Nothing is strategic in a military sense So, all the rumblings of war and conflict you hear about on the news all day Don't really apply to you if you're living down here And that's a big relief But what's not a big relief is the fact that there are so many older Gringos and expats living down here The question is, what happens when we get really old and decrepit? That's an inevitability that will come But no one seems to want to question it out in the open anyway I mean look, when you're down here just take a look around Look at the expat communities Look at the average expat and his girlfriend or wife walking down the street We're not talking about super fit and healthy 20 and 30 somethings Turns out that almost everyone who can afford to get the hell out of Dodge permanently is over 50

[04:43] That means there's going to be an approaching tsunami of old and decrepit Gringos living throughout Latin America For example, Wally living in Panama sent me this little email Actually, it's a pretty long email He says, Johnny, how would I as a 60 something single expat living alone cope with everyday living if I fell down and broke my hip He says, that eventuality hits me everyday when I see a giant pot hole Or a missing water drain grade Or stones that are loose in the pathway The question I ask myself, he said, is What would I do if my health took a turn for the worse and I needed help Just getting out of bed Wally says, these are some of the questions that ran through my mind As I worked with a couple of friends up in the States last year

[05:30] It was a sad job helping them transition from independent living to an assisted care facility A dreaded nursing home I kept thinking the clock's ticking and soon enough it's going to be me Problem is, he says, I know lots of friends up in the States in that position And even up there, most have no plans or ability to make good decisions on their own when they reach that point It's looming ahead, but people just don't want to face it Then he says, since I've been living in Panama for quite a few years now And the fact that I know lots of old timers and have lots of time on my hand I decided to run a small online survey to determine how expats envision coping with the long-term health care needs They're going to face in the future, whether they like it or not He said I put up an online survey in November 2024 and posted some ads on gringo Facebook sites

[06:22] I asked some questions about becoming old and decrepit here in Latin America Inviting responses and participation The confidential responses were informative and in greater numbers than I anticipated Here are some of the results, they might surprise you The results reflected that most expats come to Panama to retire Not to temporarily visit or just hang out for a while Not so surprising, but over 92% of the respondents were over 60 years of age And 61% were over 70 years of age About half, 51% live with a spouse or partner Fully 44% were singles though, like me, who live alone That surprised me, the high number of single expats living alone

[07:07] Those numbers are concerning Because single gringas and gringos living alone are even more at risk If and when calamity hits and they're all alone at home without a plan when some bad thing happens For example, get burnt in the kitchen, fall down in the shower Get lightheaded, pass out or just can't get out of bed The other surprising thing is my survey indicated only 6% of gringos and expats Have other family besides a husband or wife living nearby in Panama And get this Johnny, only 1% of respondents said they had children living with them here in Panama So much for counting on immediate family for emergency support As for the rest of my survey, I found that 57% of the respondents have lived in Panama more than 6 years

[07:55] Fully 80% report speaking no better than intermediate Spanish Intermediate meaning wishful thinking or not so good Suggesting that most expats will definitely need English speaking caregivers if they need long term care And as for the 20% who say they speak pretty good, pretty fluent Spanish I believe most of them are good fibbers Oh and Johnny, many of the respondents reported they are already facing challenges with their muscles, their strength Their ability to perform routine daily tasks, etc In other words, the common typical health challenges and maladies of aging The thing is Johnny, most respondents said that if they were incapacitated for a few weeks or months They could turn to their friends and family, spouses, etc. to help them

[08:45] If we were talking about short term incapacitation, few days, few weeks However, if there were more severe challenges like toileting and bathing problems Inability to cook, prepare food, feed themselves, etc Almost all said the solution would be to hire an in-home caregiver, a support giver, a part-time or live-in nurse Though they said they didn't know how to go about finding one, that would be the proper solution Another surprising thing is that only 4% of the people responding said if incapacitated long term They would eventually consider moving to an assisted living facility Only 4% said they would consider that Meanwhile, the statistics up in the states say that 7 out of 10 people, that 70% of all older adults

[09:34] Are expected to require assisted living care at some point in their lives So obviously reality does not fit expectations By the way, according to a recent article in Forbes magazine The average even crappy assisted living facility The cost start at around $4,000 bucks a month Which by the way is just slightly less than the yearly salary of an LPN nurse here in Latin America So are you getting this? For the cost of living one month in a mediocre, even sort of sickening, American nursing home The kind that smell like a mix between urine, disinfectant and old people BO Well, for the price of one month in a disgusting, dilapidated, assisted living facility in the US Here in Latin America, you could hire a full-time LPN nurse to come and sit with you at home for an entire year

[10:26] But you knew that already, right? Alright, back to Wally's survey He says, Johnny, a fourth of the respondents, 25% indicated they had no plans and no idea How to find resources when finally affected with these challenges In other words, how to find nurses, live in help or even assisted living facility By the way, Johnny, in the written commentaries, many of the singles especially Expressed concern about inviting strangers into their homes to provide care when and if they were disabled But here's what might be the most amazing fact Only 8% of the respondents indicated they would move back home to the US to live with a family or assisted living care there

[11:11] If they ended up being disabled In other words, Johnny, 92% of the expats prefer having available options here in Latin America The vast majority preferred not to uproot themselves and return to the US Oh, and here's a telling question that was asked on the survey The question was, do you know of anyone living in Latin America, gringo or expat, who currently needs assistant living care or a nurse or live-in person at home? Turns out, out of 300 respondents to that question, 109 or 37% know of at least one gringo expat candidate for assisted living care or definitely need someone living in at their home So again, it's sort of a ticking time bomb

[11:59] Turns out there are many many gringos and expats with health conditions that are just getting by without extra help But as we all know, time waits for no one The approaching tsunami of expat assisted care is on the horizon Now as far as assisted living care facilities in Panama and the rest of Latin America The sad fact is almost none of them have English speakers working there And most of them would never meet the amenity expectations of North American expats Oh, and Wally also says, you know, the stated point that 80% of expats say on questionnaires, they have at least intermediate Spanish Is likely very generous He says, in my social circles, and I'm in lots of expat social circles, I'm the only one studying Spanish

[12:47] And I personally am only at an intermediate level after two years of pretty intensive study He says I have many many gringo expat friends, female and male And my friends struggle even to employ basic greetings in Spanish He says I've got plenty of friends who've been residing in Panama for more than five years Who don't speak a lick of Spanish They even clam up around Spanish speakers Don't even try to get into the conversation Yet they're the same ones who will complain about foreigners in the US not speak in English Speaking of gringos and their language problems, here's an email from Frenchie She says, Johnny, I've been living in Guatemala eight years now I can read a little Spanish and understand some

[13:34] Depending on the speed at which it's spoken But as for everyday conversation in Spanish, I'm at a loss But after eight years here in Guatemala, which is considered way off the gringo tourist trail I do a darn good job of convincing people I can actually speak Spanish I know the common words and the street phrases everyone uses And I know when to toss in a few Spanish cliches So the Spanish speakers around me think I understand what's going on I usually don't get it all 60 or 70% is good for me And when Latinos tell a joke in Spanish, I never get it Though I do chuckle along with the rest of them, though I don't get it I don't know if I'll ever improve, if I'll ever get any better Maybe I'm just stuck I'm at a Spanish conversational plateau Signed, Frenchy

[14:21] Hey, Frenchy, does that mean you speak French? You know, I've been told that if you're a native French speaker You pick up on Spanish quite easily Though personally, I know two French expats in Latin America And when they speak Spanish, it's Greek to me, I can barely understand By the way, I've also noticed that for Americans So-called Western or American exceptionalism provides cover For lazy-ass gringles and expats who don't even try to learn Spanish They come to Latin America thinking already that they're king of the hill, top of the heap So why learn Spanish? I've heard people say that, and my answer always is Well, then you know what, you're gonna get gouged and ripped off a lot Man, as long as you live down here in Latin America, you're gonna be hit with gringo prices

[15:07] Because you see, if you know Spanish, even just a little bit of Spanish When wheeling and dealing with somebody, you know, getting a bid, an estimate A so-called prisupuesto When you're getting nailed for gringo pricing, you can call a guy out on his bullshit in Spanish If you're fairly fluent And most times, not always, but most times, he'll give you the local price But if you're an arrogant gringo and you let that Western exceptionalism attitude pop through Look out, it's gonna cost ya Just remember though, if you don't try to at least learn a language, at least meet him halfway In the end, you're gonna be the big loser Oh, and by the way, people have asked me too They've said, Johnny, you're no spring chicken anymore What are you gonna do when you start losing your grip?

[15:54] Well, there's a pretty easy but sort of unfair solution for gringo males As you know, down here in Latin America, you've heard me say this a million times You've got this thing called the gringo advantage that operates in almost every socio-economic sphere And I know you American ladies don't want to hear this But if you're paying attention, you'll see that American guys who come down here single or divorced, whatever They almost always, and I mean 99.9% of the times, end up in a new solid romantic relationship With a woman that's probably 20 or more years younger than they are Now, as unfair as this sounds, when talking about fairness, it's even more unfair To consider that when an old gringo starts getting past his prime His Latina better half will gladly take care of him, cook for him, clean for him to the bitter end

[16:45] And she'll have the energy to do that because she'll be at least 15, 20, even 30 years younger than he is I repeat, this is not fair But it does solve that age-old problem that every person faces That cruel and inevitable march of time and what it does to all of us in the end The question is, who's gonna clean up your slobber? Now, that's not to say that single gringas, lady expats down here Can't find a suitable young Latino male as their life's partner Fact is, I've been down here over 30 years now I've yet to see a gringa expat and Latino romantic match end up well in the long term Though I've seen it happen many times with gringo males and Latina girls Though it is true, almost all single gringa ladies who romantically hook up with Latinos down here

[17:33] Hook up with guys that are much younger than they are Nothing wrong with that, but the fact is, almost always, the guy ends up cheating on her And, of course, she's having none of that, so they break up I must have heard that story from single gringas living down here dozens of times Meanwhile, I know many, many gringas and expats who've been romantically attached to a Latina girl for years and years And they're still going strong Not all of them, of course, but more long-term successes than failures That's why I say, when it comes to old age and aging out down here in Latin America Gringo expats have it much better than gringa lady expats And we really have it over those Americans living up in the States By the way, there's a big money-making idea for a gringa or gringo down here

[18:20] Build a website where gringos and expats can hook up with caretakers and nurses You know, a go-to site for gringos and expats who do need some in-home care You could break it down into caregiving categories From permanent living nurse or just living companion To maybe just visiting certain homes an hour or two a day Make sure that people got their meds, etc. Just checking in, making sure everything's all right Man, if you could organize something like that As you can see, there's quite a demand and it's ever-growing So there's a niche that really needs to get filled And think of it, you could do it all online through a website With a very tiny dollar investment How about that for a business plan? All right, moving on, here's a news item that's pretty confusing

[19:06] Confused me This is a news article that came out of Mexico City on February 25, 2025 It says, Mexico's lower house of congress on Tuesday approved a constitutional reform To ban the planting of genetically modified corn GM corn Good news, you say, right? Well, didn't we talk about this a couple years ago? That they'd banned genetically modified corn? Why is it coming up again? I thought that was all settled a couple years back Well, you know, we're talking Mexico Land of corruption Land of the cartels Well, the plot thickens because last December Mexico repealed its import restrictions on GM corn For human livestock and industrial uses So in other words, Mexico has pretty much out loud all growing of GM corn

[19:53] But they import it So then what's the difference? Especially since Mexico buys about five billion dollars In US genetically modified corn each year Mostly for tortillas and livestock feeds So remember that next time you have a tortilla in Mexico It's GM corn By the way, did you know that all of the corn used For that most favorite beer, Corona, in Mexico Is imported from the US It's all genetically modified corn So next time you drink a Corona Just remember it's processed from genetically modified US corn Yuck By the way, might that genetically modified corn Coming from the states into Mexico in huge quantities Could it be part of the reason why 60% of adult Mexicans are obese?

[20:43] Just wondering Speaking of old decrepit gringos and expats living here in Latin America And old gringos, gringos and expats who aren't so decrepit Who managed to keep themselves in pretty good shape Well, I've been getting into a lot of social security discussions lately With gringos and expats I mean hey, it's a huge topic because lots of gringos and expats down here Live almost exclusively on their social security check And of course most gringos down here and expats are pretty much aware That you could get your social security check direct deposited To a bank in whatever Latin American country you're living in But here's the thing, something that gringos and expats find out the hard way Once a year, you're supposed to fill out a form It's called proof of life form To make sure, you know, you're not dead And someone else is receiving your social security

[21:31] Like your girlfriend or your wife or your kids The thing is if you're living down here in Latin America And you're getting your social security check direct deposited The social security division has your address on file Your Latin American address, of course And when January rolls around That will often be the last check you receive Because a February check will be held up Unless you fill out that proof of life form Now that's something you're going to have to remember And you will be reminded when you don't get that February check You'll say, what the hell, I didn't get a deposit You'll think it's just a mistake It's a bank holiday up in the States or something You'll wait and you'll wait You'll let a week or two go by and it still won't come Then you'll go to the social security website in a panic

[22:17] And there'll be a section there for people living outside the US There'll be a prompt that says, what happens if I don't get my social security check on time Now it might take you a long time to find that page It's nested in there quite deep in the social security website But it's there alright and it'll say something like this If you did not get your February 2025 check It's probably because you didn't fill out the proof of life form Click on this link to download that form Then you'll read that form and you'll find out you have to print it out And send it to the nearest US embassy in Latin America That handles social security payments Nope, you can't send an email You can't fill it out and scan it and send it to them You have to fill it out, sign it and send the original by DHL or UPS

[23:04] So that'll cost you 20 bucks Because it also says that they will not answer these mails And tell you if they got it or not So you have to send it by courier Your tracking number will be the proof that it made it to the social security office And in order to get a tracking number from a place like FedEx or DHL You have to pay that extra courier fee It further states on that proof of life letter Once they receive it, within 10 days you will have your direct deposits reinstated Now it seems like a pretty convoluted and stupid way to handle things But we're talking about government right? Here's the rub They have your address in Latin America wherever you live And if you are lucky enough to call a US embassy In your Latin country and get through to them

[23:49] You know, you can do that They actually have a number to call But you'll almost always be put on hold Average waiting time at least a half an hour During which there'll be a very good chance you'll get cut off while you're put on hold Anyway, if you do get through to one of the representatives at the US embassy They'll speak in English And you get through to the social security desk And you complain you didn't get your direct deposit They'll tell you They send out letters with that proof of life form in them To your address That's part of their job That letter usually shows up in late December or January It shows up at the address the social security has written down for you And that representative will say, what is your address? You'll repeat it They'll say, yep, that's what we have here

[24:35] We sent that letter out Unfortunately, you probably know by now, but maybe you don't In Latin America, regular mail almost never gets through Never unless you live or work in an office building Because, you know, they're not sending it out by DHL They're sending it out by regular mail And regular mail in Latin America gets through maybe 10 or 20% of the time Mostly because addresses are so damn weird And most people don't have mailboxes And if the mailman does show up, he's got no one to add it to And most people don't have address numbers on their doors So it's like this The social security department wants that proof of life form by January Each year If they don't get it, they send out a letter to your last known address It'll never get there Unless, of course, you live in a super high-end gated garden community

[25:24] Then it'll likely get dropped off at your entrance gate guard station Maybe not And it's quite possible you'll get that letter if you live in a residential tower But if you don't, if you live in a regular house or apartment With that chance, you'll get that letter You'll just get your social security check cut off And you'll scramble around for a while Thinking maybe you should call the embassy You won't get through or be put on hold for half an hour By the way, I've been told that the number at most embassies Is only good from 9 in the morning to noon two days a week In whatever U.S. embassy in whatever Latin American country You happen to be trying to contact So my suggestion is this Go to the social security website Download that proof of life form Print out a couple of them for the upcoming years Send one out by courier

[26:10] DHL, FedEx, whatever As stated on that form In December or January And you'll never miss a social security direct deposit check By the way, I highly suggest if you're of social security age To sign up for a my social security account At the socialsecurityadministration.gov website Because then you can check your own account online And they list all the times they sent a direct deposit So you can see if they're holding up a check or not Or if they sent it By the way, when you sign up for that social security online account You can't use a regular password They give you a print out of I think it's 20 different one time use passwords Once you use it, can't use it again

[26:56] So that means once you've entered a site at least 20 times You got to request another 20 passwords You can do that right there Basically that's so people can't hijack your account By the way, one older gringo called me in panic the other day He said, Johnny, now that Elon Musk and the Doge team Have found all these fake social security guys that are 150 years old, even 200 years old and such He was afraid with all that going on That was why they cut off his social security payment for February And I said, nope, you probably didn't fill out the proof of life form He said, what? What's that? I rest my case You've been listening to The Expat Files, living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult

[27:42] Just send me an email And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long Expat Insider Seminar in Central America Where you're guaranteed to get a 2-5 year head start on your plan B Send me an email Tell The Expat Files at gmail.com