#1392 – The Expat Files: Tech, Scams, and Life in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started today I'm out about in and out of the jungle doing this show remote today Now my microphone is not all that great. So the listening quality might not be up to snuff but Hey, yeah gets what you pays for right? So anyway, I got invited to this big convention center

[00:49] I'm supposed to say a few words But you know me it's probably gonna be slightly more than a few words It's at one of those big-time all-inclusive resorts. And you know what I've noticed Aside from the fact that most of the people are obese or vastly overweight I'm talking about gringos and Latinos. It's that it seems there are two kinds of people here really really old rich people Upper middle class anyway, and they're not so rich children and grandchildren With them along for the ride. In other words There's a whole lot of decrepit baby boomers here from the States Canada Europe who brought their kids and grandkids along for the ride Because probably very likely their kids and grandkids can't afford to do it on their own

[01:36] Maybe their kids and grandkids will never be able to afford an overseas vacation Unless baby boomer grandma and grandpa die. You've heard the stats the upcoming generations are never equal the income power of the baby boomers their mom's dads and grandmas and grandpas and Because of that fact the kids and grandkids will be sort of leeching off grandma and grandpa for the rest of their lives and when they die Baby boomer grandma and grandpa that is the kids and grandkids will get the house Which they'll fight over and have endless amounts of family stress So what do you do when you're at an expensive all-inclusive resort convention complex? well When you're not at the conference listening or speaking you're hanging around the pool, right? And man

[02:24] I'll tell you things have changed when I first started Occasionally popping in at these all-inclusive resorts. I'd say about 20 25 years ago now before the age of the iPhone That'd be before 2008 People used to actually sit around on their beach chairs and talk or read Maybe even hang out a bit with the people next door or people sitting in the beach chair next to you But hey, none of that's going on now. That was ancient history now Everyone's on their cell phones. I mean sitting at the beach Hanging around the pool not talking to each other But texting and swiping away on their devices Stopping only momentarily when the waiter walks by to get another drink Crazier yet, you know at night these big resorts always have a massive disco thing go until three in the morning

[03:13] Same thing there people have to dance for one hand on their partner's waist the other hand on that cell phone Oh and at these resorts, there are always young couples with a couple of kids in a stroller It's just amazing and pretty sad to see four or five and six year old kids Sitting in their strollers with iPads and cell phones Meanwhile on the other side of the world, there are wars going on Things are escalating and maybe just maybe that reset button will get pushed. Meanwhile over here anyway It's bread and circuses. So what else is new? Alright, let's talk a little bit about lag time and how it helps out scammers and fraudsters down here in Latin America You know what lag time is all about, right? it's basically the concept that whatever arrives up in the first world whether it's a fad a

[04:01] New device new gadget it arrives down here in Latin America with some lag time Often that lag time could be years But you know with the internet and social media the lag time gap is closing though Not as fast as you might think for example you guys and gals up in the states Europe and Canada You know about internet frauds and scams We all know someone who's had their credit card numbers scammed or swiped or even identity theft You know better or you're supposed to know better about people just cold calling you telling you you've won something or saying They're from your bank or credit card company and they need you to change your pin number. That's an old one, right? Because they say they're upgrading their system or whatever you wouldn't fall for that one would you that's the oldest trick in the book

[04:52] Of course now with artificial intelligence the scammers are getting bolder and Wow more sophisticated You've probably heard of some of the latest uses of AI to scam you in fact even my 94 year old mother went to a University lecture just last week a lecture for old folks on how not to get scammed She said they spoke about a particular internet scam where somehow The scammer knows by searching an old person's social media There would be scammers find out the names of their kids and grandkids then they search their social media, too You know how young kids post everything down to the number of corn kernels in our last bowel movement Anyway, one of the latest scams is you get a call from your grandkid or kid who just happens to be in Mexico on vacation

[05:38] Scammers know from your social media postings that you're on vacation in Mexico and exactly where you're going What hotel are you staying at etcetera, etcetera your airline the flight times the works because people tell their friends everything on social media Anyway, grandma or grandpa get a phone call. It's a panicked call and you recognize your grandkid or kids voice They say they've been robbed or bushwacked or pickpocketed and you need to send a couple of grand to them right away well, as turns out AI only needs about 10 spoken words and A scammer can recreate anyone's voice with all the proper tones and inflections Program it to say anything they want. So anyway, my mother was telling me about the all the latest greatest internet scams mostly aimed at older not so tech savvy seniors in any event new scams are popping up all the time and

[06:29] Those same scams seem to end up down here in Latin America after some lag time Most gringos and expats at least when it comes to internet scams aren't easily caught with their pants down Latinos are much more gullible not to say we can't be scammed physically in person because we often are The thing is for us gringos and expats living here in Latin America We rarely get scammed over the phone cuz our Spanish sucks So when the scammer realizes there is a gringo on the line, they just say goodbye and hang up But for the locals down here in Latin America It's open season for online and cell phone scammers and fraudsters like for example, how about this one? I don't think they could get away with this one up in the states But down here in Latin America get this at the keto Ecuador Airport

[07:14] There's an online cell phone scam going on as we speak the airport called Mariscal sukri International Airport It's issued an alert on its ex-account Cautioning the public about a fake advertisement that's been circulating online It's pretty clever doing a lot of people are falling for it What it is is a fake lost luggage announcement get this on the airport's X account You'll see an ad there. You think it's coming from them It promotes a supposed charity event where unclaimed luggage from that airport will be sold for two dollars per suitcase Two dollars a bag the ad claims that the airports collected a large number of forgotten suitcases with thousands Accumulating each year claims that the forgotten suitcases will now be given away with a two dollar

[08:06] Donation per suitcase through an event supposedly organized by the airport The ex-post online urges those interested to complete a questionnaire online Then you could come down and claim your suitcase one per customer at two bucks Donation a bag the ad emphasizes is for a limited time only and recommends urgency in filling out the form Oh, yeah And they want lots of detailed information on that form and people are falling for it left and right And of course the only way to donate that two bucks and get a suitcase is to give your credit card number That's the scam. So anyway, the airport is Panicking a bit. They're saying this announcement is unrelated to the institution or its operations calling it an obvious fraudulent attempt

[08:53] At ID and credit card theft. So have you heard of that scam up in the states yet? It's happening down here It's a new one on me. By the way, speaking of gringles and expats getting scammed in Mexico Have you heard the latest Mexico's government has signed an agreement to bring back price controls on basic food items? Wow, what good news, huh? Turns out newly elected idiot president Claudia shine bomb Confirmed that the government has renewed the package to counter inflation in the high cost of living the new price control agreement called the PA CIC will fix the cost of 24 products in the canasta bassica basic food basket Including bread potatoes tuna beef chicken milk eggs and corn flour The agreement is expected to be in place for at least a year now, you know

[09:41] If you've ever taken a basic econ course, you know econ 101 You will recall that price controls on food have been tried many many times over the years by many countries and have worked effectively to keep down inflation exactly Never Which makes me recall those famous words on my very first day of engineering school at the orientation Where the Dean of the engineering school gave us a few words of wisdom Like for example, if you don't take notes and have a pen pencil on you at all times. You're probably not gonna graduate That's why back then all the nerdy engineers wore pocket protectors. That was pre pre cell phone days Anyway, he said if you don't take notes have a pen and paper on you at all times and stay organized You're not gonna graduate, but that's not all he said

[10:27] He also said don't worry if you end up graduating in the bottom 10% of your class. You'll still get a job in government that's why he said there are bridges and tunnels that go nowhere and Street greats that never drain. Oh and he said that 10% rule applies to doctors lawyers and economists, too There's always a home for that bottom 10% bottom 10% of any career in government That's a very comforting thought, isn't it? But you know, that's not to say that I haven't met quite a few people who working in government who are very smart Often way too smart for the people they're working with You ever have a boss who was just a klutz or a dick You just were so much smarter than him and you knew it, but there was absolutely nothing you could do about it

[11:14] Because it was the big boss's kid or brother-in-law. Well, that's what some of my civil engineering buddies Tell me what it's like working in government because you know civil engineering Oftentimes you're forced to work in government big civil engineering jobs are almost always connected with government They authorize the building of roads bridges and subways, right? And when you think about it some of the biggest largest most inefficient Monstrosities ever built our government buildings. Just look around when whole economies are in the shitter That doesn't stop idiot government planners from making more monuments to stupidity To house another couple thousand paper pushers, you know I was often tempted when I was in a government building whether it be the license bureau

[12:00] Post office, whatever, you know when you're stuck there sitting for a while waiting for someone who's three times your size To push a couple buttons and print out a form for you I was often tempted to ask, you know at your performance review you do get those right once a year Whatever do they measure your performance by how many useless stacks of paper you move from one desk to another? I mean look even as a young kid everyone knew government jobs were brain-dead boring In fact, I remember back in high school. There was a term called going postal. They don't use it anymore I wonder why if you're old enough to remember the post office being a government job When you filled out an application you got extra points for being a vet So lots and lots of Vietnam vets got hired at the post office and some of them as it turned out were side cases

[12:49] Thus going postal was a thing back then now if you're wondering why people just don't go postal anymore Not at the post office. Anyway, maybe at Burger King, but not at the post office It was the invention of Prozac and all those anti psychotic drugs So instead of going postal the vets went zombie at least that's what one of my cousins told me he's a psychologist He said don't quote me But the truth is people don't go postal anymore they go zombie and that's supposed to be a good thing, right? So then what does all that have to do with living working playing and doing business here in Latin America? Well, because lots and lots of retired and pension off vets are moving down here to Latin America most especially ones who've been stationed overseas Navy guys and merchant marine guys, too Why because most all of them who end up down here had a little stint or two?

[13:38] Stationed here in Latin America for a bit while they were in the service In fact, I can't tell you how many times I have heard an ex-military guy living down here in Latin America say to me Johnny if it wasn't for being stationed in Panama or Puerto Rico or doing embassy duty in Colombia Guatemala or the DR if it wasn't for the time I spent in Latin America man I would have never known what a great life I could have after my 20 and out And you know when I first heard ex-military guys talking like that I said 20 and out What are you talking about? That's when I found out you go in at 18 put in your 20 years and you can retire it That means you're 38 years old and getting a pension Of course, you could stay on as many years as you like but 20 years you get a pension That's a goal of a lot of people in the military

[14:25] That way you can have another career another chapter in your life when you're still young now I remember one military guy told me he retired 20 and out living in Panama He makes about twenty five hundred bucks a month. He was an e7 whatever the hell that is I don't think that's too high on the list Anyway, like he said I could never ever live on twenty five hundred bucks a month up in the states I'd be living in a trailer park But man down here in Latin America living on twenty five hundred bucks a month is a single person if you're not on the gringo Tourist trail that's upper middle class. In fact if you mention that amount twenty five hundred a month to most Latinos They'd say that's a rich man's wages In fact, I remember in the 70s. I asked my dad dad. What would be a really great wage to make? He said Johnny if you're making 50 grand a year, you'll be on easy Street

[15:14] I think back then he was making around 15 grand a year Which brings me to right now here in Latin America if you ask the average Latino on the street What would be a really good wage? He'd say if I could make a thousand bucks a month. I'd be on easy Street again I'm not talking about living on the gringo tourist trip. Of course Latin Americans live quite differently than us gringos and expats, too You know, I've mentioned this a few times You can't come down here to Latin America and get a decent apartment for 300 bucks a month Decent inside, but it's the outside that just might drive you nuts Because you see here in Latin America There's sort of an unwritten rule the lower your rent than noisy your your neighborhood So for two or three hundred bucks a month, you might get a nice little apartment But you probably won't want to spend much time sitting on your porch

[16:00] Even if it's a nice porch because the buses will be ripping by people will be beeping their horns The guy cross the street will have his stereo blasting that shit rag-a-thon Which is even more insulting to your intelligence if you speak a little Spanish because then you'll know how juvenile and imbecilic The lyrics are too besides that in a low rent area. There'll be dogs barking and roosters crowing at all hours But if you move on up and pay five or six hundred bucks a month for rent suddenly You're in a neighborhood with a different class of people people with a little more culture a little more sense a lot less noise a lot Less litter though. I have to mention even in a very nice neighborhood once in a while You'll hear that rooster crowing at three in the morning Because you know you could be in a real nice gated guarded neighborhood and right next door on the other side of the wall perimeter

[16:50] You could have a neighbor or two or three living in ten checks Maybe they've been there their family anyway for generations and generations and they've always had driveway chickens They're not gonna stop now just because some rich folks came in and put up a gated guarded community next door Yep down here in Latin America. You'll find they're not big on zoning Of course when a big development firm buys a chunk of land and makes a gated guarded community They'll have definite structured rules within that community, but it doesn't pertain to anything happening outside those perimeters those walls That's why to me anyway It's always nice to live in a gated guarded community a little bit outside the city limits where there are wide open spaces Nice big open stands of trees and forests

[17:37] Then you sort of have the best of both worlds a city very nearby and a great view problem is for me anyway As I see it if you live in a nice gated guarded community in a big city You don't have any control of the neighborhoods around you outside of your community Because you see the question always does come up especially with gringos and experts. They'll say Johnny Look, I live in a nice gated garden community. Everyone's got nice cars nice houses They take care of everything but right outside just five or ten minutes away You've got some really dirt poor folks just kind of scraping by What happens if the country or the world economy takes a big hit? Those folks know exactly where the wealth is where the rich people hang out. There aren't a lot of us

[18:22] They know it and the poor folks. They've got the numbers and you know when people ask me that question I say all right. Let's take a look. Where has that happened? Where in the world can you tell me when poor folks have turned on the rich or the folks living in better neighborhoods? Well, we know where that happened. All right in places like Cuba, Venezuela The former Soviet Union and Soviet black countries, right? Places where communism and socialism took hold. That's why when certain countries ease more and more into socialism I like to advise people to keep their distance. Don't look for a plan be there Which reminds me and this is related. Like I said, I'm at a big all-inclusive resort convention center Just this morning when I went to the big breakfast buffet

[19:09] Standing in line waiting for the breakfast chef to cook up some eggs I said to him in Spanish for eggs over easy hold the salt. He said you can ask me in English. I speak English in Reality, he didn't speak it all that well, but he wanted to show off a little bit now I instantly knew by the way he spoke he lived up in the States for a while and was Deported in other words his English was not book learned. He didn't go to a high-class Bilingual school to learn it. He arrived in the States illegal and learned it on the streets So standing there making conversation. I said the usual thing. Where'd you live up in the States? He said Brooklyn I'm guessing the guy was maybe 26 27 years old and then a guy next to me in line a Canadian said What do you think about Trump winning?

[19:54] He was saying it to me, but the Latino chef who was very talkative said I love Trump He said I'm glad he won and the Canadian guy says and you were deported from the US and you still love Trump He said listen. I want my kids to grow up in an America. That's free That's not socialist and the Canadian guy said oh you're going back, huh? He said yeah, I'm working on it and the Canadian guy was just flabbergasted He was thinking how can a guy who's been deported root for Trump when his policies against immigration are gonna be even tougher than Biden's Then the Canadian guy and I got into this little discussion about How people assumed Harris was gonna win because all the illegals in the states were gonna vote for her That was the rumor you've heard that a million times, right?

[20:42] After all places like California sometimes known as commie, Fournier Letting people vote without asking for ID well if you remember all the hubbub before the election That Harris would surely win because of the illegal vote Well add to explain to the Canadian who by the way also hates his prime minister Trudeau, but that's another story He said what happened Harris lost we in Canada all assumed the illegals were gonna turn the tide Well, I told them my theory have I mentioned this before if I have stop me Well, I've developed my theory from talking to lots of Latin Americans who've been deported from illegals who got picked up For one thing or another they were driving a car Eradically wrong place at the wrong time drunk and disorderly whatever no proper ID or had a fake one

[21:33] That was way too fake and they got picked up and deported Well, if you're a longtime listener, you know, I like talk to these guys. I run into them all over the place Working at a bank a mini mart pumping gas Seems they all like to use their broken English on me. Anyway, here's my theory and it's based on lots of personal interactions with deported Latino Just put yourself in their shoes Imagine yourself an illegal alien who slipped into the United States and you don't know any English You know people who've been picked up and deported and you don't want to be one of those Possibly some of your own family members have been so you want to stick with your own you want to stick in your own You don't want to mingle with regular gringos you want to blend in you don't want to appear like a fish out of water So the absolute last place you want to be because you're always looking over your shoulder when you're not with your own is

[22:23] In or near a place where there are lots of US authority figures like around US public buildings police stations post offices Polling offices or maybe it's just me if I was an illegal I'd be looking over my shoulder all the time I'd be a coward when the so-called leaders of the Latin community said to me go out and vote vote Democrat They won't ask for an ID. You know what the coward that I am. I would say okay. I'll do that No problem. I'll listen to you. I'd look them in the face and lie I won't vote but I'll tell those local Latino democratic voter organizers exactly what they want to hear But I'm not gonna step within ten miles of a voting place What with all those lily white gringo standing around looking at me I'm gonna walk into a government building surrounded by nothing

[23:10] But a hundred percent legal gringos who would like to see me trip up so they could deport my ass. No way Anyway, I don't know if you've heard that theory yet But that's my theory as to why the illegal alien voters that were supposed to show up by the millions Did not do their prescribed part. They did not follow orders though I'm sure some of them the brazen ones did show up maybe one out of ten or twenty But believe me if I made that five hundred mile thousand mile or two thousand mile trek All the way up through South and Central America through the Darien Gap through the jungles Paying five or ten grand to coyotes to get my ass there the fear of getting hassled and ripped off even raped all along the way And after finally getting in I'm gonna risk it all by walking into a US government building

[23:58] Right up to some government officials I'm gonna lie to them about being eligible to vote then try to vote when I don't even speak English Uh-uh, I'm not gonna do that But I'll go through the motions and nod my head when the Latino Democrat activists come around Anyway, I had that hypothesis formulated way before the election though. You can't be sure of anything. There's a million ways to cheat Nevertheless knowing human nature and how I would feel if I was in that situation I personally would revert to being cowardly I'd rather lie and stay in the country then take a chance and slip up while voting illegally and get sent back, but that's just me if I wasn't illegal in someone else's country and Some wise-ass gringos living there already were pushing some political agenda. I'd say go ahead. You do it. You run the risk

[24:46] I'm not I'd rather be low-profile and keep out of harm's way And finally comes this email from Manny who's got a foot in Michigan and a foot in Guatemala He says Johnny whenever I go to a restaurant in the States with my wife I usually jokingly request a seat in the non screaming baby section I usually get a laugh and surprisingly it works the babies usually get places on the other side of the restaurant He says add to my pissed off list parents who allow their children to watch videos on their cell phone at top volume in Restaurants I've seen restaurants post signs even saying this is not a playground parents Please control your child and adults must accompany a child for service Meaning this restaurant got tired of parents letting their kids run wild inside of the restaurant since they got rid of smoking and not smoking

[25:34] Sections he says maybe they should have baby and non-baby sections if the place is labeled a family restaurant It's okay, then bring the baby along Same he says goes for a movie theaters Nobody wants to hear a screaming kid when they're trying to watch a movie My parents always says if you choose to have a kid there are certain things you have to give up doing for a while Babies should not be in restaurants until they're old enough to understand how to behave in public Unfortunately parents today as well as the last 30 years worth of parents have failed miserably to achieve this goal Except for a very few good parents. I'm sure you know one or two He says just last night the wife and I went to dinner after a long day of working hard Only to find four screamers in the restaurant that the parents just totally ignored While the parents themselves scarf down their food and played with their own cell phones

[26:22] I know why too parents today are afraid to discipline their own kids Because they're afraid that some other third-rate parent might see them and accuse them of child abuse Make that dreaded phone call the child protective services Many says keeping a lid on your child in front of other adults is part of being a parent Going out to dinner was supposed to be a treat not a torture test for the rest of us When I was a kid the relatives traveled to the kids No kids went out to dinner or traveled until they were at least 10 years old He says if you have kids and must go out to dinner go to McDonald's or another fast-food joint where loud kids are the norm Don't take them to a nice sit-down dining place He says Johnny I've seen what dining is like in Guatemala

[27:08] I've noticed even at the lower end of family restaurants kids are nice quiet and behave Funny thing too seems the more money Latino parents have the more poorly behaved their kids the more they get away with It's kind of baffling the more money Latino parents have the more lenient they are with the kids the more their kids get away with Why is it they insist on copying all the bad habits of American parents? You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat Insider seminar in Central America where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B

[27:55] Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com. No spamos