#1047 – The Expat Files: Navigating Faith, Politics, and Tax in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started You know, I've got a backlog of hate mail and complaint mail people name-calling and just saying nasty things And you know, I've always thought of myself as a guy with a little bit tougher skin than the average guy Maybe it's because I'm able to defend myself fairly well in a verbal battle

[00:47] Though I've spied enough to know to back off when outmatched or I've been like that said I think I'm gonna dig into the negative mail bag and read some of the stuff to you in this and some upcoming shows Too mostly because it makes for good radio, doesn't it? Hey, let's pick on Johnny. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Did I say good radio man? Am I old school or what who actually sits down and makes time to tune in to the radio for information anymore? Funny thing too, you know when I first started this show something like 11 years ago now when I'd run into people that ask me The usual question. What do you do Johnny? And I'd actually sit and think for a second Should I say podcast because most people didn't even know what the hell that was 11 years ago and people who did know and when I Explained it to others. I'd get that odd. Look I know what they were thinking. Yeah

[01:36] Podcasting right that means it's not quite good enough for a primetime radio yet back then people were thinking Podcasting that's fringe stuff. That's a fad but man how things have changed now if you say you're on the radio They look at you like what a dinosaur too bad people think poor guy He won't have a job for long radios dead, but doesn't know it yet. But where were we? Oh, yeah talking about that stack of negative complaint and hate mail now The first one that I'd like to read today And it's just one of many calling me out on the same theme and in this case I know this particular slew of mail was instigated by what I said about my sister a couple of shows ago You might remember I mentioned that years ago when I used to live back in the States I quit going over to my sister's house for a couple of years because she became an extreme

[02:22] Evangelical Christian and had a Bible in every room even on the toilet tank in the bathroom with passages outlined in yellow highlight marker Now I'm asking you what would you do in a case like that? You heard me say on that show that I couldn't even leave the place say my goodbyes without getting a hallelujah and hellfire lecture And she wasn't calling me out in particular. She did it to everyone now after I mentioned that I got a slew Of emails from people who apparently didn't at all like the way I handled it like this one from mr M now, this isn't really hate mail, but he is calling me out as a lost soul in need of redemption Well, let me read a part of it. He says hi John. Yes as one of your seminar attendees back in 2019 I must confess I'm a Jesus freak a Bible thumper or whatever you want to call me as being one of those religious nutcases

[03:10] He says even though you might look at people like us as being uneducated fairy tale swallowers We're really not that at all. We're not like the rest of the world though either like dead fish floating downstream We're going against the current of this fallen world because God opened our eyes and ears and at some point we heard him and obeyed Believing in the gospel the good news of Jesus. All I will say is that I hope you do believe some day John you need to believe because it's a terrible thing to fall in the hands of an angry God Especially when he made a way for us to escape his judgment that's coming You see this is a very bad world with some really evil people who love their Lord Satan and even though God knew all this would happen He still created people in his image to ultimately have people who would not act like or be robots

[03:56] But would love and obey him willingly. He says there's plenty of historical proof that Jesus is Christ If you are looking for the truth, so John, are you looking for the truth or just rather love lies? You'd better think about it John eternity is a long time You're not gonna be floating on a cloud like those fairytales say or whatever scenario that a fallen mind can conjure up And yes another thing John God knows all things and what he chooses to do with his creation is his business And who are we as sinners who are unfaithful and fallen to tell him what to do with it That's ludicrous. Well, John if you haven't turned me off by now I'll be praying for you to break free from Satan's lies because right now you're just a spiritually dead man Lost in his transgressions living in on his own sense of knowledge Worldly knowledge by the way John if you ever really wanted to discuss Christianity because you're searching for the truth then you can contact me

[04:45] Anytime I'll be glad to help you understand the scriptures better and to explain everything you have questions about and lastly I did enjoy the seminar back in 2019. I appreciate all the work you guys put into it I am still on track with that plan B to move down there. Take care of yourself. Mr. M. Well, thanks for that Mr. M, and I'm all about having thoughtful conversations about any topic Of course religion is one of those never-ending topics. You can't really change anyone's mind about but mr. M Calling me a dead fish floating downstream that hurts not to mention dead fish stink And I always use deodorant before leaving the house and I use the kind without aluminum salts Cuz you know in autopsies, they're finding all kinds of evidence of aluminum deposits and brains of people who've got Alzheimer's Hmm now, where were we?

[05:33] You know, mr. M now, I don't want to sound defensive or anything but growing up a good Catholic boy I went to church every day for something like 10 years That's what you had to do when you went to Catholic school every morning before school you went to Mass In fact, my family is just chock full of great religious role models I have three first cousins that went to seminary and became priests and two first cousins that became nuns One of my best friends is a Catholic priest and two of my best high school buddies who turned out to be closeted gays went to seminary Too though. They both did quit right before they were supposed to graduate and become priests Where will I tell you that story? It'll be coming up in the future. So stay tuned Oh and I was an altar boy too and believe me I just lived for weddings and funerals because being an altar boy

[06:21] We'd get an envelope with a tip in it from whoever was in charge of putting on the gig Though we did very much dislike the man in charge to big bad Monsignor a terrible mumbler with donkey breath an insult to the donkey By the way, who used to open up our envelopes take half and give us the rest. What a terrible role model He was oh and mr. M. I had my own pagan baby, too You know what that is for five bucks a month The nuns would hook us up with a poor kid from Africa back then with inflation five bucks was like 50 bucks Anyway, I supported my pagan baby for something like eight years. Sometimes I wonder whatever happened to him His name was something like Zabawandi something or another living in a Catholic orphanage in Mozambique Sometimes I wonder what became of him or if he really existed at all back then

[07:07] You know no internet in the mail never made it through to Africa. Anyway, mr. M I did get my 10,000 hours in of religious indoctrination and Really where it all fell apart was when I took a comparative Religion course in college. I highly recommend a course like that for anyone sure makes you jettison organized religion in a hurry Though I have to say some of the best people I know are pretty religious But they don't lay it on you and so unlike so many people I read the Bible many times both old and New Testament And one of the things that bugged me and I noticed early on when I was still back in grade school when I read That God was a jealous God. I always wondered even at 10 11 12 years old How could a supreme being be jealous? You see that show up many times, especially in the Old Testament

[07:52] I don't know Maybe it's just me but it seems like there's some really flawed logic there And you know even as a kid the first four of the Ten Commandments Also struck me kind of strange because you could replace the word Lord or God in the first four commandments With the name of any egomaniac dictator who's ever lived and they'd be just fine with that I always thought why Ten Commandments when you only need two Occam's razor, you know Everything needs to be reduced to its simplest most logical form Well, the Ten Commandments sure weren't two commandments would be perfect number one harm No one just like the doctor's Hippocratic oath and number two treat people how you'd like to be treated That's it. Why ten when that pretty much covers how to make the world a better place But that's just me babbling. Oh and remember what Nietzsche said

[08:39] He said even if there was no God it would be necessary for man to invent him And personally, I think religion for most people is a good thing since there are many many bad people out there Think of this if it was universally known that there was no God Bad people would even be worse than they are already because knowing there's a God in the heaven and a hell the hell part Anyway, it's sort of like a governor a break and some motivation for really bad people to do less harm than they Ordinarily would the fear of hell and all that even knowing or justifying if they end up in hell It'll be a pretty interesting place. And of course, we know the music in hell will be fantastic Hopefully down there they'll allow musical instruments by the way, the most amazing book I've read in the past probably 15 or 20 years on that subject

[09:26] It's called infidel and you know books on religion and philosophy tend to be kind of dry and boring But this one far from it is an absolute killer of a page-turner It's a harrowing true story called infidel. I tell you if you read that book You'll never think the same way about the world and politics government and religion again By the way, it's been banned in the majority of non-christian countries That should make you want to read it even more by the way The lady that wrote the book was just on Jordan Peterson's show and when he started the interview He said before he did it. He was wondering whether it was a good idea or not because she's got a fatwa out on her She's been on the run and for about 15 years it's her true story and the price she's paying for telling it is having aliases and bodyguards and moving around all the time and when Jordan Peterson who's fearless and has balls of steel says

[10:15] He's a bit scared to interview someone that should really pique your interest, too So if you want to book I'll give it to you for free send me an email the expat files at gmail.com Oh and check out that Jordan Peterson interview with her. Her name is Ayaan Hersey Ali. Don't ask me to spell it I'm serious. Check out that interview while you can before the woke people cancel it and it gets pulled from YouTube I know I know that rant had nothing to do with Latin America But since I've got so many listeners trying to direct me in a path towards Jesus. I just want to repeat once again I've got my ten thousand hours in already and I think for most people religions a good thing or at least necessary Oh, and there was a time back in college when I thought I was a solid atheist And then I was bombarded by a lot of my religious friends with philosophy and religious books

[11:03] Then I thought maybe I'm wrong about all this So I took a comparative religion course and by the time I hit my 30s, I called myself a born-again atheist I figured I was right the first time in other words I started out very Catholic turned atheist had my doubts reviewed it all again and decided yeah I was right the first time but then when I hit 50 I softened up yet again And when people ask me now, do I believe in God? Well, I tell him I don't know if there's a God but I know for sure. There's a devil Oh and sometimes when people try to convert me, you know, I'm here in Latin America and it's an extremely Christian mostly Catholic society So when you arrive unless you're Christian or Jewish you're better off keeping your religious opinions to yourself It is the diplomatic thing to do. However, when I'm confronted with gringos and next paths who try to push their religion on me

[11:52] You know, there are tons and tons of do-gooders NGOs and church groups down here in every country building solar outhouses for Jesus You know, they'll tell you like Jake told his brother Elwood Blues in the Blues Brothers. We're on a mission from God Hey, who am I to argue with that? And when someone comes up to me and says Johnny, have you heard the word? I like to ask them if they've read the word that is how many times they've read the New and Old Testament Cover to cover not just snippets sermons and parables here and there that you like You know, I feel comfortable asking that because I'd say I've read the New and Old Testament at least ten times myself I even sat down with a cigar a bottle of wine and a bowl of popcorn and read the Quran Actually, it was more like four bottles of wine and four bottles of Tylenol. Like I said, I've got my 10,000 hours in

[12:41] How about you enough said about that way too much said about that. Hmm. I wonder how much hate mail that's gonna generate That's all right, folks. Keep those cards and letters coming on a completely unrelated note I saw a very funny sign the other day at a Mexican restaurant It said in Spanish, of course, we have an agreement with the bank We won't take any checks and the bank won't make any tacos Which makes you wonder do people still write checks? I know down here in Latin America when you open a bank account you get a checkbook I think I've written two checks in 30 years However, I do like the fact that when you open up a bank account in Latin America They give you an instant debit card in most cases two debit cards because you'll want to have a bank account in u.s Funny money dollars and the local currency funny money, too

[13:27] So what a lot of gringles and expats do is they use the local funny money Oddly enough the money in Guatemala is called the Quetzal by the way The Quetzal is the national bird of Guatemala. He's got a very long colorful tail It's longer than the body of the bird itself though oddly enough and somewhat like the American Eagle. It's practically extinct Yep, the locals killed off ninety nine point nine percent of them for those long beautiful colorful tail feathers Of course In fact if you go to a Guatemalan museum or cultural showplace or display of any kind you'll usually see a stuffed Dead Quetzal on display and even if you're a consummate birdwatcher chances are you've never seen a live Quetzal Though they say there are still some nesting in the jungles of Petén That's northern Guatemala where that huge Mayan pyramid city is you might know it. It's called Tikal

[14:17] It's an amazing thing. You know if you drive or fly It's hundreds and hundreds if not thousands of square miles of jungle and suddenly boop There's a clearing with 30 or 40 pyramids that seem to be growing right out of a jungle floor But that's not all there's a hundred or so pyramids and buildings that haven't even been excavated yet if you're ever in Central America It's a must-see and you know what makes it different from Chichen Itza and Tulum and those Mexican pyramid sites Is that in Mexico they're all on dry open land and Tikal It's deep in the jungle if you're an old classic movie buff that kind of reminds you of Tarzan and the Lost City type movies It really is spectacular one of the wonders of the world you have to see it anyway moving on I get lots of emails from people saying Johnny I'd love to have my plan be down in Latin America

[15:04] But I've just got a bad feeling about the politicians and the government's down there after all are we heard of while growing up? We're stories about revolutions and massive political and social upheavals like for example the never-ending Venezuelan and Cuban sagas then you've got the march of socialism in Brazil and Argentina Same thing with Nicaragua Ecuador Bolivia and Peru Yep I get emails all the time from people who want to come down but are afraid to and the short answer is yep All the governments here in Latin America are completely corrupt Hmm and yours ain't only difference is down here They'll actually put their leaders once out of office on trial and send them to jail I'll be at country club style jails, but they do go to jail and it's not just a one-off either meanwhile up in the States You've got that high-level political revolving door a different kind of backhanded not-in-your-face

[15:54] Corruption between big business and government where congressman presidents federal reserve governors generals and cabinet members when they get voted out Rotate out of their government jobs. They not only don't go to jail. They become millionaires Just because they pushed the right legislation or directed the right government contracts to the right corporation They hit the jackpot though. It's a pre-arranged jackpot known as tit for tat You know the story they walk right into Million-dollar do-nothing seatwarming jobs on corporate boards of directors or get a half million dollars of speech like Obama Clinton in that human pustule yelling, but in the States almost no Politician ever serves time in jail nor do any banksters even when he caught and convicted for billions of dollars in money laundering

[16:41] And fraud take Morgan Stanley and HSBC They've been fined billions and no one ever went to jail or even got fired, but you knew that already, right? Anyway, the fact is politicians everywhere are totally and irredeemably corrupt But at least here in Latin America many of them actually do time take Peru for example now Peru is not a country I recommend for your plan B for a lot of reasons, but one of them being they've got a terrible water shortage It's a dry country. It's dry and dusty at least half of the year and Lima is a huge city with millions of people and it's ugly I won't go into the other reasons now except to say if you consider politics in all of Latin America Peru Probably takes the cake but for me That's not a reason not to live in a country because the government sucks

[17:28] They all do when it comes to bad government and extreme corruption Peru takes the cake except for those countries that are communist and have a dictator like Cuba and Venezuela in Democratic Latin countries Peru takes the cake for one thing Did you know that Peru has had five different presidents in the last five years? Just think about that for a second and think about this three living former presidents have done jail time Including get this one of the favorite presidential candidates in the upcoming election Oh and another recent president killed himself to avoid arrest and hard time He offed himself on a fifth living Peruvian ex-president Martin Viscatta was just impeached for malfeasance in November and his replacement president who lasted less than a week in office is presently under indictment for

[18:18] Directing the fatal shooting of two young men which led to his resignation Oh, and did you get the part about him lasting less than a week as president? Can you make this stuff up now as for the candidates in the upcoming election a leading contender is Kiko Fujimori Whose dad was president Alberto Fujimori convicted of stealing 15 million dollars going to prison for six and a half Years for that then reconvicted for human rights violations and sentenced to 25 more years in prison They nailed him for personally ordering a death squad. Oh, and I forgot two months later He pleaded guilty in a fourth trial this time It was bribery and received an additional six-year term. Anyway, his daughter Kiko Fujimori is running for president

[19:04] This will be her third time trying by the way She has been in the slammer three different times herself. She's been indicted Convicted pardoned and re indicted in an ongoing multi-million dollar money laundering scheme, man I'm telling you you need a penitentiary scorecard to keep track of all this, huh? Which reminds me of a famous Gandhi quote Gandhi said when idiots are elected to office the voters will be well served Oh, and he also said you mustn't confused fame or popularity with talent Hmm. Wait a minute. Maybe it wasn't him. After all he wasn't alive to witness rap music or the retired asians So the main question is to corrupt politicians and bad governments here in Latin America scare me away Well, not really except for the countries like Venezuela Cuba and Nicaragua that have virtual dictators

[19:54] And it's not like dictators just pop up overnight It's telegraph to you years and years in advance So it's all about due diligence and getting boots on the ground But you know that already. All right now an email from Kurt. He says Johnny two questions Why does every retail or food service outlet ask for a knit number? That's an IT number second question, can you share the location on the coast where you get your fresh seafood as Mentioned in a show you did about two weeks ago. Hope everything's okay signed Kurt Alright Kurt, by the way Kurt's signed up for my next expat insider seminar The date to be announced soon when this govidia thing simmers down now Kurt's first question revolves around what they call an NIT number

[20:43] That's a national tax number You see if you're a citizen a resident or own a business legitimately in most all Latin countries The government will issue you a national tax ID number a knit number as they're called in Guatemala Other Latin countries have slightly different names for that knit number with slightly different letters So what's it for? Well like the United States when you do your taxes, you can write off certain expenses That's a good thing, right? Except for the fact you can only write off a certain small percentage of expenses in the states They have to be related to your business and some medical expenses are tax deductible, too Well, surprise surprise another great thing about Latin America is that you can write off practically everything Even your personal stuff and it's all linked to that

[21:29] NIT or knit number now if you're in Guatemala Honduras, whatever and you're only living on outside income, you know money coming in from a business Let's say in the states or pension or social security You won't pay income taxes anyway because most Latin countries except for Colombia Costa Rica and Brazil now Do not assess income tax on outside source income only on money you earn within that country So let's say you're a permanent resident of Guatemala or Panama and you have a knit number a tax Number, obviously you will well when you're at the checkout lane at the grocery store the person will say While it's too knit. What's your knit number? Well, if all your incomes coming from Social Security or a pension, you don't even have to give a net You can say consumer door fee now that means final consumer But if you're paying taxes, let's say you have a business or you're a teacher or something within that country

[22:15] You give them your knit number and that shows up on the cash register receipt You save those things and when you file your quarterly or yearly taxes You give those to the accountant and he will write that whole amount off against your taxes because here in Latin America Most everything's a write-off unlike up in the states where you have to prove it's directly related to your business And that's why it's always very misleading when you go on the internet and do a search I'm not gonna say Google search because I hate Google when you do a search for income tax rates in Mexico Panama Guatemala, whatever you'll see there For example an average income tax rate of let's say 10% I say 10% because in most Latin countries, it's on a sliding scale 10% is an average number You see the misleading part about that is you're allowed just so many more tax deductions than you are up in the states

[23:03] So for example, if you make 20 G's in El Salvador, 10% is 2 grand, right? The thing is a person in El Salvador who makes 20 G's is probably writing off about 14,000 bucks of that So he's paying 10% on only 6 grand or 600 bucks instead of 2,000 You get it? So just be aware if you're making money within the country and are actually on the books paying taxes You want to give your knit number to the cashier with every purchase you make and even at restaurants and grocery stores appliance stores Car dealerships the works However, if your income or what you're living off of comes from the states or anywhere else The knit number is of no concern to you except in certain cases where you're obliged to give it like a social security number For example when you buy a car and they register the plate You'll have to give a knit number and if you go for a driver's license, you'll have to give a knit number

[23:52] Now if you're not a resident yet, you won't get a knit number However, if one is required like for buying a car your lawyer will get you one and nope He's not doing it under the table because you see if you're planning on doing a business You have to get a knit number before you even start You can apply and get a knit number and never open the business if you don't feel like it But you'll still have a knit number and it'll just sit there dormant as long as you want it to be When there's a hack to using knit numbers, too Now I'd say about 90% of gringos and expats don't earn their money within that Latin country Or if they do it's off the books or on the internet or whatever That means of course you can just say consumer la finale and not give your knit number when you buy stuff It won't matter because if you're not paying taxes Well who would need a write-off however if you've got any gringo friends with businesses or Latino friends or even your lawyer with

[24:41] The business oftentimes they'll say hey when they ask you for a knit number Give a mine I'll take those deductions if you can't use them and since there's no IRS style tax police or SWAT teams coming to knock your door down and go through your receipts if you're buying stuff and giving someone else's knit number No one's gonna ever know no one cares except maybe on very high ticket items Like if you buy a car because then your knit number will be linked to your driver's license and your plate number So you don't want to be handing over someone else's knit number because it won't match in a car registry archives But for everything else except for real estate in cars You can nice guy or gal that you are lend or give your tax deductions to anyone you want Oh and just a suggestion here skip the knit number when you're doing small-time stuff

[25:29] Like buying something for $3 at Starbucks skip it don't bother for small-time purchases involving change skip it It's probably too much hassle. Hmm. That begs the question. Can you buy anything but watered down tea at Starbucks for three bucks? I wonder and finally Kurt wants to know where my favorite fresh fish market is in Guatemala That'd be in the giant market in Guatemala City First off always go there before 9 in the morning. Then you get it fresh off the truck Oh and always say quiero no con hilado I want fresh not frozen because you know the frozen stuff is from yesterday or the day before the stuff They didn't sell. So where's my favorite place? Well, right in the center of Guatemala in zone one I've been there a hundred times It's the biggest craziest food and produce market in all of a Central America

[26:15] It's so big you could get lost in there and never find your way out And I've got a lot of outdoor and indoor spaces and there's an indoor section Specifically for fresh seafood of all kinds you can even buy and this is pretty gross turtle eggs Yeah, now FYI that's supposed to be illegal. But hey, this is Latin America You know where there are no turtle egg police except for maybe a few volunteer gringos on the coast now Kurt You'll need someone to take you by the hand in there and bring you to that place My seminar logistics lady Rita knows exactly where to go and so does captain mango I took him there once or twice don't try to find it on your own. Not the first time after that fine It's completely 100% safe. That's not the point The point is you can and probably will get lost. In fact, we go there for our expat insider seminar

[27:01] We spend a morning there and you know people have told me it's a good thing to go there and get lost sometimes because It's a hell of an interesting and eye-opening experience. That's the reason we always go there with the seminar I'm telling you that market is an amazing experience. Once again, it's the biggest market in all of Central America and the prices Well, you just won't believe it last time I was there. I was getting three or was it four? Avocados for a buck. Of course, it was avocado season, but I'm asking you how much is an avocado in Cleveland? You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at Gmail dot com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in Central America

[27:50] Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at Gmail dot com. No spamos