#1103 – The Expat Files: Navigating Pandemic Travel, Mexico’s Challenges, and Immigration Changes

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now that I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right back in the saddle again couple of weeks of traveling couple of different countries way too many different airports Oh and hey, if you want to see some really sick people, I mean physically sick go to an airport

[00:46] You can't believe all those people on handicapped scooters. They're everywhere Even the pilots and stewardesses have potbellies. You can tell I'm a baby boomer still call him stewardesses I don't think you're allowed to do that anymore. They're flight attendants, right? No, don't get me started on them man on every single flight and I took a few of them just in the last weeks The stewardesses had masks and face shields meanwhile, dad is coming out saying that people who wear face masks a lot are Chronically oxygen deprived and being poisoned little by little with excessive co2 Yeah I believe in six months or so the mandate of wearing masks is gonna be considered one of the most useless and idiotic Healthcare decisions of the decade though, there'll be lots of competition for that prize So anyway, the chubby stewardesses wore both masks and face shields where shit they scolded you

[01:35] They did me when my mask started slipping down my nose. That's a felony, right? 50 lashes But when the food and drinks come it's every man woman and gender fluid person for himself Oh, and you can forget about getting the usual hospital style cafeteria food on board. Amazingly enough They've actually done worse than that Now all you get is a package of cookies and a little bag of mixed nuts that has a big sticker on it That says this does not contain peanuts or peanut remnants. What the fuck's a peanut remnant? Oh, yeah there's signs all over the airport saying maintain your social distancing and every other seat at the boarding gate has A big red X taped over it and everyone seems to obey that rule till about a half hour before your flight is supposed to board Then the crowds push in ear hole to a hole and there's standing room only every seats taken

[02:24] So much for the fallacy of social distancing Oh and when you're on the plane and you have to use the restroom never a good idea even in the best of times Rule number one board the plane with an empty bladder even so on long flights all bets are off But if it just can't take it, you know You got to wedge yourself into that tiny little bathroom that smells like the elephant tent at Ringling Brothers And the fact there's always a light dusting of pea spray on the seat, but that stands up to rigid Covid norms, right? By the way, I remember and you probably do too if you travel at all about seven or eight months ago Every other seat in the airplane was blocked off too. You had to keep that one seat social distancing rule Remember that actually it was pretty nice Then you didn't have to use your neighbor's love handles as an armrest, which is probably the only positive unintended consequence of the whole

[03:13] Planet but somehow now that one seat empty one seat full rule has faded into oblivion Meanwhile, the pudgy stewardesses, I mean flight attendants with their fogged up face shields continuously scold people as Masks keep slipping lower and lower in the end gravity always wins, you know, and then especially on those long flights There's always a couple of sleepers with their heads cocked their masks a jar drooling on their headrests. Nice, huh? Oh and then there's those Covid it forms in QR codes You got to download and present when you're checking in and when you can't just go online and do that at any time You have to do it 12 hours or less before your flight They ask questions like have you had a fever cough kissed an Aussie been bitten by a bat Have you been in contact in the last 12 hours with someone who has a fever cough or other cold idiot symptoms?

[04:04] Come on. What a bad joke typical government lunacy. Yeah, right If you're gonna be flying are you gonna mark yes to any one of those questions if you do you're staying home You're done. The oh and you have to do that for the country You're gonna fly out to and the one you're entering. Yep both ways and in some cases for every country in between where you'll be changing planes and You know how quirky those online forms can be now imagine those online forms in Spanish on top of that A lot of the forms are brand new in the beta testing phase if you will anywhere along the line You can lose your internet connection It could seize up or send you back to the beginning or just not allow you to enter certain data or reject what you're trying to Enter that's why you see massive lines at the information and help desks at the airport All the people who just couldn't navigate those online forms end up in long long lines

[04:54] In fact that my own computer within that 12-hour window. I was trying to jump through all those hoops myself I started to question my own intelligence, you know, we all think we're above average, right? Isn't that funny every time they do a survey about 65% of people say they're above average Most obviously never took a statistics class before and I kept thinking to myself if these forms are designed for the average slug to navigate Maybe I've lost one too many brain cells along the way though I was after a lot of false starts able to slog through it not have to get into the clueless Latino Helpless gringo line, of course, you've heard me say before that Latinos love lines and when they see when they just get in no matter what Oh, and I think you know this gone are the days you could show up at the airport a half hour or even an hour Before your flight time. I'm talking way back when flying used to be fun. Yep. That's right

[05:42] All you Gen Xers and Millennials once upon a time Hmm, you know even before this covid at nonsense. They used to tell you to get there two hours early Well, man, even two hours can be kind of close Even if you think you've got all the online forms and QR codes right in fact when I bellied up to the aro Mexico check-in at the took him on airport in Panama and Handed the guy all my paperwork in QR codes. He punched my reservation into the computer He looked at me frowned and said Los siento There's a note in the computer that says you haven't completed your health care form for the second leg of your trip. I Printed out hard copies of everything a few hours earlier. I had something like a dozen pieces of paper. I handed them over to him I know. I know most people check in these days with the QR codes. They have on their smartphone

[06:29] No physical paperwork or paper boarding passes necessary at all these days and I thought in my case I better have some backup There's just so much that could go wrong and sure enough the guy at the aro Mexico check-in window said I was missing something I handed him my clutch of papers my hard copies and I said will you please explain exactly what I'm missing what? I'm supposed to do so he rifled through him looked up at me and said you're okay. You've got everything Hmm big sigh of relief there However, if I'd had taken his word for it in the first place and got into another long line I'd probably still be there So my advice if you're gonna travel internationally make hard copies of everything Oh, and by the way a couple days ago when I was in the airport in Mexico City I saw a number of panicky gringos Fidgeting with their phones trying to find someone who spoke passable English to help out why the airport Wi-Fi was on the blink

[07:20] It was out so they couldn't enter or retrieve any data Apparently they didn't talk to their internet or telephone service provider back home in whatever state They were in and paid the additional charges for roaming You know, I think it's something like five ten or fifteen bucks a day if you want international roaming But you got to set that up in advance. Otherwise, you're stuck with the local Wi-Fi connection and if it's strong and good It's okay. But like I said the airport in Mexico City, it's a huge airport to the Wi-Fi would not connect It was on the blink. So they were in the check-in line right behind me Panicking and I said look just go to that pizza joint or the bar across the walkway Buy a $10 beer or $20 slice of pizza. Yeah, that's the airport couch You know that and they'll give you their Wi-Fi code. You'll be all set. That's what they did and they were all right

[08:08] I saw him board the plane. They walked right past my aisle and gave me the thumbs up the very last ones to board So anyway, I was hanging around Mexico for the last couple of weeks Mexico City and Puerto Vallarta Went to the stem cell clinic. I've been telling you guys about for so long now I'll give you the whole lowdown on that and progress reports as we go. So stay tuned for that Now if you think on this trip, I changed my mind about not recommending Mexico as a great plan B destination You'd be wrong a nice place to visit and go on vacation But I wouldn't want to live there and this trip reinforced my original thoughts. I don't recommend it at all First of all flying into Mexico City, man I never saw such pollution the whole city's covered in a gray brown what looks like a dust storm

[08:56] In fact, you could look up any number of scientific articles on the net that'll tell you that just living there This is like smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. I'm talking about Mexico City now It's got something like 22 million people, you know, I think it's the first or second most populous city on the planet Oh and I talked to a number of small business men who have brick-and-mortar joints restaurants travel agents and such and they're telling me that They have a terrible water crisis. I know it was bad, but the predictions are for worse water shortages ahead I'm just referring to Mexico City again In fact at one busy commercial business strip I walked into a restaurant sat down asked the waiter where the restroom was and he said over there Hey, did I just say West womb must be that regressive Elmer Fudd gene? Anyway, then the waiter said there's no water use this and he tried to shove a bottle of that snot like

[09:46] Bactericidal goop in my face. I said no. Thanks. I've got plenty of my own snot Maybe next time by the way I think I told you this before the word in Spanish for snot is moco and mocio Anyway went to the next restaurant same thing no water But plenty of snot like goop dispensers though I gotta say even hundreds of miles away at Puerto Vallarta You know a nice beach town on the Pacific coast walked into a restaurant on the Malecon strip You know, it's the busy tourist area there right along the shoreline No water in that restaurant either plenty of moco dispensers though. Meanwhile across the street You've got the Pacific Ocean, you know what the sailors say water water everywhere, but not a drop to drink By the way, Puerto Vallarta Mexico, it's so totally gringo ices the Pacific Ocean version of Cancun

[10:34] Beautiful place too many gringos first world expensive went into a grocery store They want three bucks for an avocado Meanwhile back in Honduras Guatemala El Salvador and maybe even the big markets in the boonies in Mexico You can get three for a buck But man, Puerto Vallarta is once again proof that when gringos land the whole culture is tipped on its ear In fact one way to definitely know the gringos have landed not just for all their pink white burn skin either is how many Starbucks exists in a given town or city in Puerto Vallarta You walk in and buy a dollar cup of coffee Which I'll never buy or a cafe latte mocha de Java Kona blend with almond milk Which I'll never buy either or even try Though it's interesting to poke your head in because the place is just loaded with gringos In fact sitting there by the ocean. There's a big jogging path. Just loaded with gringos, too

[11:23] You know, I couldn't help but notice for every Mexican that walked by there were three or four gringos most of them in Fashionable designer jogging get ups to most of them slightly wrinkly and of early retirement age, too And almost none of them could speak a lick of Spanish though It's undeniable Puerto Vallarta has its own kind of charm the presence of so many gringos and the high prices just turned me off So I have to say it's got one big thing in its favor talking to all the taxis and uber drivers They all told me it's very safe Probably one of the safest areas in Mexico right now And naturally I pumped the locals for information about the narcos and the gang problems throughout Mexico and the big question Why Puerto Vallarta which has about two or three hundred thousand people? Why is it the safest place in Mexico right now? And you know, the answer is gonna surprise you it surprised me

[12:10] Well, not that much But hey with all this big brother cold video crap and the way all the first world and third world lemmings fall in line Nothing should surprise you anymore. So as far as the gang in an Arco situation, here's the dope on that Hmm Turns out and all the locals in the nose seem to be in agreement on this There's one cartel one group of narcos running the show in the port of Vallarta area the Halisco cartel And really you can walk around all day and not see too much evidence at all of any narcos or gang members Not too many people at all with tattoos on their necks and faces gold teeth and ass-cracked pants It turns out and this was news to me too when one particular gang is in charge one narco cartel There's virtually no gang wars drive-by shootings or guys hanging from bridges by their toes And since there's no shoot them ups

[12:56] There's no tourists or bystanders ending up in pieces or in the emergency room The whole area appears quite safe Whereas in the most of the rest of Mexico especially as you get up towards the US border There are two three even four gangs always buying per power and thus you forgot those shootouts drive-bys Guys hanging from their thumbs from bridges and tourists and bystander collateral damage And that's sort of a recent development done the so-called Mexican Riviera Tulum Cancun Playa del Carmen multiple gangs and cartels They are vying for a position and the tourists are getting in the way Whereas in Puerto Vallarta the Halisco cartels in control of all the vice in the territory all the locals know that the gringos and expats They've got no clue, but the locals they know it meanwhile behind the scenes businesses pay their protection money

[13:43] The Halisco cartel owns the politicians and pay off the cops. They alone run the drugs prostitution Loan shark and gambling rackets as well as a coyote Transport business in human trafficking to the states and as far as tourists and expats and gringos living there Because of the lack of violence and relative safety compared to the rest of Mexico people are pretty much unconcerned And it is a very nice vacation destination though I have to admit the Pacific side of anywhere in the Americas north or south is Never quite as beautiful as the Caribbean side where you have those crystal clear waters and beautiful powdery white sand beaches Think of California beaches like Malibu Beach. They're nice, but the water is never crystal clear Way overrated if you ask me and if you're scuba snorkeling

[14:29] You don't have those beautiful tropical fish like you do have in the Caribbean where you've got all those great coral formations So for example, if you rate California beaches Seven or eight out of ten in the Caribbean beaches nine or a ten the Mexican beaches on the Pacific side You can rate like Malibu seven or eight and as you go farther south Guatemala El Salvador Costa Rica Panama Then the beach sand gets darker due to volcanic activity and to me it's not pretty I wouldn't want to have a beach house there worse yet almost impossible to walk on during the day because dark sand beaches man They absorb the heat and then as you move further to the Pacific side of South America The beaches get lighter and whiter due to lack of volcanic activity but still none of the beaches I've ever been to on the Pacific Coast of South America rate more than a seven or eight out of

[15:18] A ten scale and that's pushing it because the water is never crystal clear and you've got those terrible Pacific under toes So you don't want to go out too far? By the way since I was in the land of the gringos port of Vallarta I discovered that many gringos and expats who spent a lot of time down there Are very pissed off at the recent immigration and visa changes for gringos and expats well for all visitors actually But mostly affecting gringos and expats a theme that we discussed a couple of weeks ago In fact since I did that show I got quite a few emails from very pissed off expats living down there For example this one from PT Marcos. He says hey Johnny I just want to give you another heads up about what's happening in Mexico Your other Mexican context have given you the basics about the crackdown on tourist visas But here are some more important details you should know about

[16:04] Some of it coming from a fake book page by Sonia Diaz a professional who works with expat visas and other paper pushers or Trami Tadoras here in Central Mexico The interesting part is that the changes to the tourists and even residential visas for gringos and expats aren't random or even temporary They have a definite purpose in mind He says it all goes back to what you've been telling us all along about getting residency while the door is still open Somehow I was astute enough to get my permanent residency years ago back when the financial requirements were much lower than they are today But many expats have been foolishly living on tourist visas and renewing them every six months expecting the rules were never going to change Now it's apparent. It will become much more difficult to get residency or at the very least. There'll be longer and longer waits

[16:52] All right, then our friend PT Marcos lays out this fake book page for expats in Mexico that has 71,000 members. It's a Mexican immigration lady in the know posted by Lalita Cruz Who's a dual US Mexican citizen whose husband worked for the Mexican immigration services? Let me give you some of the extra series says this year all air approach will follow the new tougher rules and The land borders will follow the new rules beginning in January 2022 Immigration will continue to involve and tighten up in the coming year as Mexico is no longer the loose and fast easy to immigrate country It once was and over the next three years immigration to Mexico will become increasingly more difficult These immigration changes have everything to do with the arrival of undocumented foreign populations in Mexico

[17:42] Obviously on the way to the US though many will end up staying in Mexico causing a strain on Mexican Sustainability in other words food supply housing medical care, etc All of which are stretched to the limit currently already with kovat creating even more pressure on the current system Then it says with an upsurge and unexpected Applications by people wanting to enter the US the thing is when their applications to qualify to enter the US are denied Next step try to qualify for residency in Mexico in January the plan is to start detaining and deporting all foreign nationals who violate immigration policy Please note residents are required to carry their actual card on them at all times the original visa or residency card Failure to do so will result in that person being detained

[18:30] That applies to gringos and expats who've overstayed their visa or don't have residency. Oh, and this is key It says the Mexican government realizes people are coming to Mexico to avoid the covid restrictions in their own countries in other words, lots of Anti-vaxxers worldwide are piling into Mexico mostly from the US because of Mexico's loose restrictions on vaccinations and Non-requirement of covid it testing to enter the country Alright me Johnny throwing my two cents in here. I saw that firsthand this last week to enter Mexico I did not have to have a covid it test no restrictions if you weren't vexed either no erroneous up-your-nose PCR test or rabbit antigen test and No public or private business. I visited in Mexico required any of that stuff either

[19:20] Alright, then PT Marcos continues. He says Mexico is considering requiring that new residency applicants Be fully vaccinated prior to receiving their residency appointments at their home consulate What oh man, that's not good However, Mexico still does not agree with vaccination of children So anyone under 17 would be exempt though anyone over 17 would have to comply if this is decided on it will start in January possibly even in December 2021 However, this is just a tip of the iceberg the word on this street with the common people He says they're thinking Mexico will back down on this That's not likely Mexico has plenty of resources and growth because of NAFTA They don't need to bow to or suck up for foreign money like they did 30 years ago before NAFTA

[20:11] Sure, it's true beach communities in Mexico rely heavily on foreign money But those dollars come from tourists on short vacations not residents or snowbirds or people popping in and out every 180 days and it's those Residents or snowbirds that drive up prices in Mexico more than they contribute to the economy That's always been a double-edged sword tourists come for two weeks toss a few thousand into economy and fly home They're coming in just for a one or two week vacation. There'll be no travel restrictions for short visits like that All right, then PT Marcos continues. He says Johnny today was a live broadcast in Spanish with a guest Who is a senior executive with immigration in Mexico City? He says I took some notes from the radio feed to share and help clear up some of the confusion that you see with many gringo

[20:57] Fake book groups and forums recently. He says yes, it's true Mexican immigration has been much more diligent recently in attempting to crack down on misuse of tourist visas He says Mexican immigration agents are now asking for more proof of your travel itinerary Such as your hotel accommodations dates Addresses where you'll be staying return airline tickets exact length of stay, etc And as for snowbirds and those on longer-term stays The immigration officials will look at your age and retirement factors and their tourist visa assessments By the way me Johnny again when I flew into Mexico They asked me exactly how many days I was going to be there and they gave me a brand new kind of three-colored form On which they wrote that exact number of days

[21:43] They told me I must not lose that form because I had to hand it back in on the day I left thus proving I stayed the exact number of days I wrote down initially on that form not one day more in other words The new procedure is the immigration agents will look at your age retirement factors and how long you say you're gonna stay Etc, etc And they'll decide right there if they're gonna let you stay the length of time you requested That is if it's longer than the two or three weeks Normal tourist will spend at the beach at a resort So for example, if you say you want to stay for three months or four or five or six They have the power right there and then to decide it sounds quite arbitrary depending upon if you answer their questions satisfactorily Oh, and there's another new harsh conditions for gringles and expats if snowbirds own and rent out property in Mexico

[22:29] They are now expected to be a temporary or permanent resident with a visa that gives them permission to work Man that sucks So a renting of properties considered work that really complicates things if you own a property there I've never heard of any other Latin country having that rule in Honduras Bolivia Guatemala Panama ever you own a property you rent it And that's it. You don't have to be a permanent or temporary resident much less have a work permit That's nuts. Oh and as far as remote workers are so-called digital nomads in Mexico Immigration officials are now saying that if you work there, then you are a resident of that country You're not a tourist. So you're expected to have a residency or a visa card All right, then PT. Michael says repeat or serial tourists must note that all other trip histories are available in

[23:18] Immigration computers now and are being constantly updated He says anyone who stays for 180 days leaves and comes back in for another extended period Will now be flagged by agents given shorter and shorter visa periods Some will be denied entry altogether. All right, that's the latest word out of Mexico. Hmm. Thanks for that bad bit of news. Mr. Marcos So there you have it reason 2456 through 76 Why I don't recommend Mexico as a good plan B destination then again as always it's your call However, if you have permanent residency already in Mexico, my advice is go for the passport Because as you've probably surmised the doors are closing on this immigration stuff and the windows of opportunity Getting thinner and thinner but hey have we been saying that all along in the entire 11 plus years

[24:06] We've been doing this show which begs the question. How far along are you on your plan B? Are you a perpetual tourist or perpetual procrastinator? I hope for your sake you're making some progress It'd be sad if you have been listening to the show all these years and haven't made some good Context and got at least a few ducks in line Alright changing gears now, you know in this show I like to point out how gringles and expats do things here in Latin America Even if they're not quite on the up and up and legit I mean, that's what certain gringles and expats do so I'm reporting on it. That's my job And of course, I never recommend you do anything illegal I just like to inform as to how certain gringles and expats find ingenious solutions around some of the problems that seem insurmountable Case in point expat Eddie who's not exactly an anti vaxxer. He says he might get the back someday

[24:54] Maybe in a couple of years once all the human guinea pig testing is done and the true results are in In the meantime expat Eddie wrote me this email just a couple of days ago He's writing from an undisclosed Latin American country on the Caribbean side and it's not Guatemala He says Johnny like you I've been traveling through Latin America quite a bit in the last few months And I've noticed in some Latin countries the government's forcing businesses to ask for a vax card places like banks government offices Even hardware stores won't let you in unless you flash a card and I'm sure Sooner than later airlines will make you flash a vax card too And when it comes to airlines and cruises a fake one won't cut it if there isn't now There's gonna be a national or international database So the question is how does a guy like me and millions of others who feel the same way?

[25:40] Get a real registered card without being a human guinea pig Then Eddie says I've heard stories of gringles bribing nurses at clinics with a hundred-dollar bill and gringles walking into a clinic saying They lost their card and will pay whatever to get a replacement card nudge nudge wink wink Well through the Latin American grapevine I found there are a number of doctors who feel the same way as I do they won't take the vax till it's proven But still they administer it to people who want it who come into their clinics and offices and Johnny I visited such a doc and here's how it went He walked into the cubicle Loaded up the syringe with the experimental jizz placed it in my hand and said here's your first dose come back in 21 days And I'll give you the second one. He said did you ever inject yourself for a pet? I said I injected my mother with insulin

[26:29] She's a diabetic and I've injected pets with antibiotics and stuff He said good, then you know what to do I guess that was a tricky way of covering his ass and now Johnny I have my vax card eyes dotted T's crossed all registered and I can honestly say with a straight face When asked about the vax that I was given the Pfizer both doses 21 days apart So Johnny FYI just to let you know, there's a nice little grapevine out there Alright, I expect Eddie rides again boy. That's a brand new twist, huh? Now I just know I'm gonna get a bunch of emails from people asking me for a little more detail And when I get him I'll ship him off to Eddie. I'm just the messenger. I'm staying out of it Oh, and there's a PS here from Eddie. He says if you pop off to a Latin American country and get faxed your passport stamps better

[27:19] Reflect the fact that you were in that country for both jabs 21 days apart and you have to appreciate the fact that there are some Latin American health care professionals that aren't buying the big farm a big brother line either You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan be we can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat Insider seminar in Central America where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com