#1283 – Episode 1283: Navigating Life, Roads, and Politics in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Let's see. Where do we start lots of stuff on our plate today? First one of those crazy boots on the ground stories that can only happen to gringo as an expats down here in Latin America This one once again happened to me, you know, it's the rainy season down here and when it rains man, it rain

[00:50] It can rain so hard that in traffic intersections you can have a flash flood and be up to the running boards in water and Then oddly enough the rain will stop just as abruptly as it started in within a half hour or maybe an hour That sudden Street corner flooded lake is gone Completely dried up By the way, that's why I always recommend when you're looking for a car you're looking to buy Don't buy a compact car or sedan because the running boards are too low Not only will you end up bottoming out on all the countless two mollows, you know the speed bumps down here Which down here are not what you're used to up in the states They're not cute little groups of reflective yellow dots you see all throughout the state's Canada in Europe Down here in Latin America. They rarely use those things

[01:37] They just put in big dangerous cement and asphalt humps that are solid and hard And when you hit him with your car going at a decent speed They'll shake your guts rattle your brain and often scrape the bottom frame of your car, man I can't tell you how many times I've been in a car with a gringo who said ouch In sympathy with the car as if it could feel pain like a human Like fingers on a blackboard only a hundred times worse Everyone knows your car can only take so much of that kind of abuse That is before something gives and then it's gonna cost you That's what's inevitably gonna happen when you drive a compact car around Latin America. You're gonna sedan You know, I've taken a peek under the chassis of many a compact and sedan the creases dense and scrapes You see down there aren't pretty that's why I always recommend you get yourself a mini SUV

[02:25] Not a giant one like a Tahoe or a forerunner Oh, they serve their purpose. All right, and are usually two molar speed bump proof not that they won't come in handy, but it's murder park in those things and Some streets in the cities especially here in Latin America can be so narrow and the way people park on those streets It's so idiot that there's no possibility two-way traffic can pass So you're driving at a disadvantage in one of those big-ass tanks like a Tahoe forerunner or suburban Oh, you see him around or right? They are the preferred vehicle used by Narcos and lard-ass corrupt politicians. Are there any other kind? Anyway again I'll repeat it for the tenth time if you're out looking to buy a car start looking at mini SUVs Like a Ford Escape called a Ford Escapé down here

[03:13] RAV4 Honda CRV Kia Sportage called Sportage down here. I undate Tucson Referred to as a Hyundai Ducsan by Latinos here Etc, etc Again, you want to have a car like that Especially during the rainy season when street corners flood out in a hurry because let me tell you you won't be having a good Day when you're stuck at an intersection You hit the gas pedal and realize your foot sopping wet That's not good for you or your car though It happens most exclusively with compact cars and sedans not SUVs or pickups So anyway, just a few days ago. I was driving in the big city 8 o'clock at night It's dark out. Of course. This is the rainy season throughout most of Latin America. That'd be May through October. It starts pouring

[04:00] And you know as much as you might hate the rainy season because it can really come down hard You can't see sometimes you might even have to pull over once in a while The thing is one of the guilty pleasures of having a heavy rain For me and most gringos. Anyway, is the fact that it's one of the few times motorcyclists get their comeuppance. It's karma time Because you know They have to drive through those deep puddles that are often more like lakes at those flooded intersections, too And during those rains they and their bikes get soaked to the bone now to me and most every other gringo who drives a car That's well deserved karma Too bad though. They only get that comeuppance during the rainy half of the year made through October Anyway, as you know, sometimes when it rains the road service gets very slippery and just two days ago

[04:48] As mentioned I was driving along the big city 8 at night Not too much traffic motorcycles on the right of me Weaving and darting and driving like a crazy idiot as usual He decides to overtake and cut it in front of me to get into the left lane Remember now he's on the right and he's thinking maybe I'm going too slow for the traffic flow and he decides it's gonna speed up And cut around the front of me to the left. Well, it's raining pretty steady, but not cats and dogs But raining enough so that he's losing control and as he pulls out in front of me, he hits a slippery patch He starts weaving loses control by this time He's about 30 feet in front of me directly in front of me the rear tire of his bike Fish tailing all over the place and I know in a matter of seconds

[05:34] He's going down problem is he's going down right in front of me And I'm going maybe 30 miles an hour and I just know if I slam on my brakes They're gonna lock up on I'm gonna slide right over that shit for brains fool It would have served him right, but I didn't feel like killing him and ruining my day So anyway, he wipes out the bike is on its side He's sliding down the road right in front of me his right leg under the weight of the bike scraping the pavement as he's sliding along Let's just say he won't be walking right for some time. Maybe never meanwhile. I'm working the brakes I'm not punching him because I don't want to skid. In other words. I didn't lock him up I wanted the ABS system, you know automatic braking system to do the work for me Now I was driving a mini SUV which has pretty wide tires. So that gives even more control

[06:20] He's still skidding along his right leg getting torn the shreds though He's slowing down of course, and I'm just about ready to run him over Soon enough. I was just at the point where I couldn't see him anymore He's so low and close to getting sucked under my car. I can't see over the front hood. He's disappeared I'm thinking oh, no, this is not gonna end well for him or my car I hear a thunk at the front bumper by now. We're both stopped. I Under my front end. I stood there in the rain for a sec. Well, I'm guessing at that point He's pretty hurt his leg anyway, but I'm also guessing he had no license or registration You know the stats for a motorcyclist in Latin America 50% of them don't have a driver's license and 50% or even more

[07:06] Don't have their bikes registered or insured and I'll bet you a Bitcoin He was one of those because he panicked and he yanked himself and his bike out of there He didn't even give me a look though. He did try to start the bike a couple times. It didn't turn over He just looked around and hobbled away pushing it and before I could say a thing He sort of said in a panic voice. Don't worry. Don't worry. I'm okay. I'm getting out of here. Don't worry and He disappeared hobbling with the thing down a side street. Well by that time the traffic was kind of piling up behind me Still raining a bit too So I jumped back in and took off by the time I made it back to my place I had enough negative thoughts on my head thinking. Oh, no What's this repair bill gonna cost me because I knew the front end of my car had sustained some damage How could it not have well next morning? I went out to check the car and guess what there were scratches and nicks are right?

[07:56] But under the car nothing you could see from the front or sides So I got away pretty clean didn't need any repair work or anything. But the idiot cyclist I'm still wondering did he learn his lesson that you don't accelerate past people and try to cut in front of them in the pouring rain Did he learn that lesson? I doubt it. That's why I call those guys the human cockroaches Kukarachas de la calle though. I am sure that particular road roach Will always remember what happened that day when he looks at the scars on his leg By the way, the one thing that popped into my mind when I came to a full stop Thinking the worst the one thing that went through my mind was I hope my lawyer picks up when I make that phone call A phone call. Thank God. I never had to make the thing is about accidents like that

[08:43] If it's just a fender bender and no one's heard you could usually ash it out between yourselves right then and there You don't need the cops or the insurance company Especially in a case like that with a motorcycle They'll almost never have insurance and probably not a license or registration either So they'll almost always dust themselves off and take off Even if he hung around you can't get blood out of a stone and believe it or not Even if the cops show up, they'll try to make it simple and easy and give the idiot motorcyclist a way out, too They know it's futile to give the guy a ticket or a fine because he won't even show up in court However, it's a different story if after an accident someone gets hurt and ends up in the hospital Most often when that happens, you'll get your car impounded and you don't want that to happen Which is why you want to get your lawyer on the phone right away And of course your insurance company and they'll show up surprisingly fast

[09:31] Almost always faster than the cops unless the cop happens to be right there when it happens The problem is if the cops impound your car You probably won't get it back for a week or two or even a month and when you do get it back Don't be surprised if it's missing a battery and or spare tire In fact, I remember in the old days when people spent a lot of money on car radios and stereos. Remember those days? Remember when you had a nice one and the faceplate came off your radio So you could take it with you when you parked your car Oh for the good old days anyway There was a time 10 or 15 years ago when there was a big market for those things here in latin America and people would break into your car and steal those things all the time In fact, I had a forerunner and the car radio got stolen three times Thank god that kind of stuff doesn't happen anymore because people just don't buy high-powered aftermarket radios anymore

[10:20] Except of course for the odd macho guy whose low iq brain is stuck forever in late adolescence Yeah, still once in a while you'll hear one of those guys plowing through a neighborhood his windows down All blinged out gold teeth flashing blasting out rapping raggaeton at full volume You know the type the question is regarding those kind of guys. What's lower their self-esteem vocabulary or iq? Hmm the toss-up maybe All right moving on what's happening in guatemala? If you've been paying attention or keeping up with the news You'll see that some of the locals have basically shut down the country for a day or two with roadblocks and all the major arteries Now get this straight if you think this is something new in latin america, you're very mistaken man When I first came down to guatemala what first time I visited 25 years ago, maybe

[11:09] As soon as I crossed the border from Belize into guatemala I got stuck for two and a half hours in a roadblock People protesting toting signs. I didn't speak spanish So I didn't know what it was about by the way, whenever there's a protest or a walkout or a bunch of people block the road It's called a huelga H-u-e-l-g-a huelga You know for me that's always been one of the hardest spanish words i've had to learn to remember huelga Sure, I learned that word a long time ago, but I just couldn't find it in my head when I needed it huelga So I used that old memory technique. I rhymed it with something else helga, you know a girl's name helga huelga So anyway for the last couple of years there's been all kinds of huelgas going on You can't get around in guatemala anymore. You can't even go into the stores. That's for the last couple days. Anyway

[11:57] So then what's it all about this time? I can tell you the usual reasons for these huelgas most commonly It's a group of workers like teachers asking for a raise or demanding a raise That was the point of the first huelga I saw some 25 years ago By the way, every latin american country has plenty of these huelgas going on at different times Even countries that prohibit them like cuba nicaragua and venezuela Even in those three countries where it's prohibited you still catch students blocking roads and totem signs Even though the cops will occasionally fight them arrest them and turn fire hoses on them But everywhere else as a rule throughout latin america as long as a huelga is peaceful. It's completely illegal You got a right to protest things and protest your government The problem comes of course is when you block traffic and commerce and disrupt businesses by blocking their entrances

[12:48] In that case the cops often will come in and move people even push them around and arrest them Now, of course, you know the number one group of people Let participate in these huelgas are college students, you know demanding something or another college kids will often protest at the drop of a hat Protesting and repelling is part of being in college. By the way I remember the last big huelga throughout latin america Guatemala included was when all the taxi drivers went on strike Protesting the ubers that were coming in and displacing them In fact, I remember a trip I made to barcelona spain a couple years back Where all the public transport guys, you know, the licensed taxis and stuff went on strike for an entire saturday Of course, they'd announced it a couple of days in advance on the internet and on tv, etc

[13:33] And sure enough the following saturday all the taxi drivers came out and their vehicles just stopped in the road Parked them and got out caused lots of pain for truckers and tourists that day But did they get what they wanted? Nope uber came in Now the moral to most huelga story is is that they usually cause more damage than good at least in latin America more damage to the economy and the locals then what they're trying to achieve like for example the uber thing Didn't work The ubers are here and they're here to stay Of course, it's a very solid prediction in the works that i'd be willing to bet on all my engineering buddies and nerdy friends Believe the same that in the next four to five years The world of public and private transportation is going to be overcome by robo taxis, you know artificial intelligence driving cars with no drivers

[14:19] No human drivers that is what's that going to mean? Well, that means every taxi and uber driver in the world is going to be at a job Regular bus and chicken bus drivers too most if not all truck drivers as well Now you might say so what but man the world is not ready for that but it's coming fast It will be a reality in the next four to five years. Maybe less What are all those displaced people going to do? Oh, and here's another thing Artificial intelligence and robo taxi thing is going to put a huge wrench into the works of all the illegal aliens Coming into the united states in europe. I'll bet you can't imagine why well, guess what? I'd say a good 50 percent That's half of all the illegal latinos i've met who've been deported from the states As well as the illegals that were up in the states and ended up getting their legal residency

[15:07] Most tell me the same story I've spoken to dozens and dozens of them over the years I run into them down here all the time just ran into one yesterday at a tire repair place And my two favorite questions to ask are number one. What's your long-term goal? Number two, how did you support yourself when you were up in the states? Well, no surprise half of them say construction or yard work and the other half of them speaking to guys, of course They'd say truck driver uber driver taxi driver In fact you longtime listeners probably heard me tell the story about a guy named tibaron, which means shark. That's his nickname He lives in el salvador. He's been deported from the united states at least four times But he'll go back to the united states no longer because he achieved his goal He made enough money during his four illegal stays in the us to send back and remisses

[15:55] Enough cash to buy a light new taxi free and clear that he drives. That's his job in el salvador now In fact every time i'm about to fly into el salvador international airport I what's up tibaron and say hey pick me up at the airport as usual And he takes me down to the bitcoin beach area, which is about a 40 minute drive from the airport Which cost me about 30 bucks And during that 40 minute drive He tops me up on all the info and all the action going down in el salvador and up in the states with all the illegals He knows up there He's a well-connected guy and his english is pretty good. It should be considering he was deported four times Anyway, he tells me that's a goal of so many of his illegal buddies up in the states to do exactly what he did

[16:41] He's an icon a success story amongst his peers He's a taxi driver with his own car in his home country The thing is he tells me that maybe only one out of 25 taxi drivers in el salvador for that matter Any taxi driver in latin america has his own car They rent cars from the owners of fleets of taxis. They pay a rental fee by the day They never seem to get ahead. They make enough to put food on the table and pay the rent But in no way he says anyway Can a taxi driver get ahead unless he owns his own vehicle? Now the last time I was in salvador and in tibetone's taxi I was thinking about the sad fact for him anyway That he and all his uber and taxi driver buddies are going to be out of work when ai comes in with robo taxis

[17:28] And I was thinking what's going to happen to all those millions of guys? Whose main goal in life is to have their own taxi business with their own car. They have no idea They don't even know what ai is and I didn't have the heart to bring it up to him Because i'll tell you simple people simple guys like tibetone live pretty uncomplicated lives sort of the latino equivalent of joe six pack They have no idea about that steamroller called artificial intelligence and what it's going to do to their plans and how it's going to disrupt Their simple lives By the way for you guys and gals up in the states if you've got any uber or truck drivers in your family Their days are number two. I hope they're close to retirement because it ain't going to be pretty when the ai steamroller comes for them By the way, i'm of the other opinion and kind of looking forward to it

[18:15] I'm talking about self-driving cars robo taxis etc Because that will finally reduce quite a bit of chaos fender benders vehicle noise and air pollution and even Minimize some of that road rage that so many of us have yep road rage is alive and well here in latin america It's a bad habit. All right, and with some people it doesn't seem to diminish. They say humans could get used to anything, right? Well, I beg to differ I know lots and lots of gringos and expats who've been down in latin america for years and years and they still Have road rage that smolders right below the surface and big city latin american rush hours are sure to bring it on By the way rush hour is called order pico So if you ever hear a latin american driver say the words order pico Take a pill because you're entering a shit storm. Fact is i've been down here dozens of years

[19:01] I've mellowed out a lot, but I still have great intolerance for shit drivers That's probably the number one thing that bothers me the most about latin america the traffic So in that respect i'm looking forward to ai Then again, the pessimist in me might say yeah, but look at lag time down here in latin america ai Just might take over the first world in a couple of years But never make it down here to latin america or maybe we'll have to wait 20 or 30 years Well, not so fast lag time does exist with practically everything here in latin america But lag time comes at a different rate for everything for example Latinos get their movies netflix and series and all that stuff on social media exactly the same time As you get it up in the states So there's really no lag time with the entertainment industry at all

[19:47] Though with some movies and programs there might be a week or two lag time while they do the translation into spanish But a week or two or even a month is nothing Same thing with it and the internet for example when cell phone towers in the states and europe Transitioned from 2g to 3g or three to four It only took about six months for that to happen here in latin america Same thing with increased velocity on internet plans About a six month lag time there, too So although lag time for traditional things might take five ten fifteen even 20 years when it comes to technology The lag time windows only months weeks or even days But I digress as usual now. Where were we? Oh, yeah talking about those roadblocks and huelgas in guatemala Well this time the natives are restless because

[20:35] There was just a recent presidential election And a guy an unknown came out of nowhere and won the presidential election And boy, did that piss off the thoroughly corrupt two Ruling parties that have been in power for the last 30 years Now that's not to say this new president Will not be as thoroughly as corrupt as the last couple of presidents were Three or four of whom are either in prison right now or are fugitives It gives you an idea of the quality of people we're talking about here So then why all the roadblocks and shutdowns? Well, it's because the thoroughly corrupt attorney general of guatemala who by the way was appointed by the outgoing thoroughly corrupt government She's said there's been voting fraud

[21:22] And thus calling into question the election of this new president In other words, she's basically saying that this new upstart should be disqualified either have the election all over again Or go with the second corrupt runner-up same old same old With her whole object to keep the existing totally corrupt regime in power Now the sweaty locals who came out in mass To vote for the upstart guy who won Did so because he promised to gut the whole rotten political system that it's been in charge for the last 30 or 40 years The new guy he pointed to existing cancerous groups and coalitions within government the usual thieves and scoundrels Sucking on the government trough. He actually named those government groups. He promised to dismantle So he was the dark horse that got elected then right away the corrupt attorney general came out and said there's been

[22:12] election tampering election fraud Now where have we heard that before which thoroughly riled up large groups of the sweaty masses who already knew The party machine would try to pull something like that because there was too much at stake Being that any party in power has a license to steal and man to this deal She couldn't let the machine that appointed her lose power Because when a new guy a new party comes in power They fire all the hangers on an old guard and put in their own hand-picked lard ass scumbags And the sweaty masses fall for those pre-election lies every time and the game goes on Oh and another thing everyone knows this lady your name is porters Probably the most corrupt attorney general in guatemala's history She just would not prosecute anyone in her own party even if they were caught red-handed committing some vile act of corruption

[23:03] She always let him off the hook. Meanwhile anyone else her party wanted to discredit she'd go after Sounds like the biden administration, huh? And the sweaty masses the local people just hated her for that And that by the way is what the protesters out in the streets right now are demanding They went her the attorney general for us fired and tossed in jail herself They also want the government to drop the accusations of election fraud and let the new guy take office on the appointed date So anyway, that's the long and short of it Except for the fact there are many many rumors going around That the us government, you know, the alphabet agencies have their paws in this like they do in every single third world country election I mean, let's face it us alphabet agencies are masters at the regime change game

[23:51] No one does it better and you know what? I try not to think about the us government because I just absolutely Hate them as far as the usa itself. It makes me sick to think of what's become of the place I know I know you might be thinking that is if you're a liberal wokester That there is nothing wrong with the us that 20 or 30 million eighth grade educated illegal aliens can't fix Yeah, well, we're watching that play out right now, aren't we? Anyway, as far as the squatter mala election and roadblock thing Rumors are flying all over the place that the us alphabet agencies and First world woke libtard NGOs are actually doing the organizing of the street protests That there are a few key players getting paid to organize those things

[24:37] Yep, the conspiracy theories are hot and heavy Then again just lately so many conspiracy theories have turned out not to be conspiracies at all Just look at the cove idiot thing that fiasco spawned a dozen conspiracy theories most of which turned out right on the money By the way adding even more fuel to the fire is the existing corrupted guatemalan president giamatti He was quoted as saying just this week in a press release That the us and the cia are behind a lot of these protests Now think of it for a president even a thoroughly corrupt one to say that Well, all I can say is i've seen things like this happen all throughout latin america What usually happens is after a few days it fades away the sweaty masses in the street

[25:22] They gotta eat They gotta go back to work the people have spoken they let off steam and it's back to the same old same old My guess is the corrupt president will fire the corrupt attorney general He won't want to but there'll be just too much international pressure She'll go into exile somewhere with her millions. She won't do time None of the old guard will either they'll exit with their millions Either to nicaragua panama or my jammy and the new president will be inaugurated on the proper day He with all his big promises to root out corruption will be somewhat of a hero in his first months in office Meanwhile, he'll load up the government with his friends and cronies and just be slightly Less corrupt than the last guy So then how does all that affect us gringles and expats living in guatemala or any other latin american country?

[26:09] Well, not much. It has almost no effect on us at all We don't care or count on the national health or social security or the minimum wage Or the cost or condition of public transportation We're just well treated visitors with a thing called the gringo advantage now if you're living in guatemala right now You will be inconvenienced for a few days by all this stuff the stores the markets and tienes that are closed etc, etc, but you know That's part of living in latin america I've been down here 30 plus years now and i've seen that kind of thing a dozen times My solution is always meant to be somewhat self-sufficient extra food on hand garden fruit trees Water purifier, etc, etc. By the way, are you still buying bottled water?

[26:57] You guys up in the states and in latin america If you are, aren't you in the least bit worried about all this talk of forever chemicals and microplastics? That researchers have found Accumulating in every human come on what's wrong with you get a water purifier now And always have a few bottles on hand that are glass or stainless steel as for me. I filter my own water I make my own i've always got a glass pitcher in my fridge and a glass bottle of water in my car Which begs the question have you had your usda minimum requirement of microplastics and forever chemicals? You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult

[27:42] Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com