#1298 – Skylights, Leaks, and Language: Navigating Life in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started All right, let's start with something easy and practical an email from Dave number 56. Yeah, that's what he says He's number 56. I beg to differ. I think he's Dave number 59 But working his way up with a bullet

[00:46] He says hey Johnny you mentioned a couple weeks ago the use of skylights in Latin America against humidity and mold Are you maybe talking about open skylights that let the steam out when you crank the handle? Dave says I don't really understand the mechanism, but I'm curious and I want to learn Thanks so much Johnny sign Dave number 56 a Dave. Thanks for that and skylights in Latin America I love that subject because it's really so simple, but people make such a complicated subject out of it You know the first thing you hear down here. Anyway, when people discuss skylights is they leak they all leak. Yep. They practically all leak It's true. Sometimes you hear people up in the States say that too, but not so much

[01:32] That's a problem skylight manufacturers licked up in the States Anyway a long time ago thing is when it comes to skylights There are two kinds of leaks one kind of leak and the main kind of leak up in the states is being installed incorrectly You're an installation problem. The other kind of leak that prevails is from one of those skylights that opens You know cranking it open cranking it shut it can be after some time you get a leaky seal now One thing you have to know when you buy a skylight up in the States They're really expensive compared to the typical skylights you see here in Latin America Which are basically polycarbonate or plastic or Lexan domes up in the States and in Canada lots of companies sell very expensive skylights Well, the mechanical ones the ones that open and close with a crank or when you push on them with a stick, whatever

[02:18] Even the smallest ones, you know where the glass is maybe only one foot by two foot in a tiny bathroom It's gonna cost minimal three or four hundred bucks and a big-ass substantial skylight That's maybe six foot by four foot could cost a grand or more That's because up in the States the code is that they have to be double or triple glazed Which makes a skylight really heavy too as in weight, which makes them difficult to set Correctly on a roof especially an angled roof That means most times you can't do it yourself. You have to bring in installation professionals and that'll cost you a couple hundred bucks, too However, in Latin America on the skylight issue things are so much simpler and so much less expensive for one thing There are no building codes involving skylights

[03:06] At least I've never seen any and they don't require double or triple pain either I say forget about having a mechanical skylight that opens and closes just get a stationary skylight I mean one that won't open and close. It's just a sealed shut now when you drive around the burbs of Latin America You'll see skylights here and there Not usually the flat pain type, you know flat piece of glass. We're talking about the bubble kind You'll see plastic dome bubbles And it seems like in every medium and large size Latin American city There's a manufacturer or two or three of those types of plastic domes they use various materials plexiglass Lexan polycarbonate and Down here in Latin America if you're building a house from scratch It's so simple to set it up for skylights flat roof angled roof

[03:55] It doesn't make a difference most quality construction of houses or buildings here have a poured concrete roof And skylights are a good choice for that kind of roof I know you heard me say in a previous show you should put a skylight in every room Of course, that means if you have a two-story house or building your skylights will all be situated for the second floor rooms There's no way to have skylights on the first level but that doesn't really matter because even if there are no skylights on the first floor if you leave your doors open during the day and Let the air flow and circulate throughout your building. The second floor skylights will burn off all the humidity and Believe me, you don't need to have stark sunlight the whole day. Just an hour's enough With the Sun so hot and intense down here

[04:41] Even just an hour's worth of Sun through your skylights will burn away an entire day's humidity It's hard to explain you have to experience it yourself besides that There's nothing like the connection you have with the outdoors with skylights In fact, that's one of the major gringo expat complaints about houses here in Latin America They're generally just dark dank and dismal even though just a few skylights will completely change that look most people don't do it So anyway, if you're building a house you tell your roofing contractor how big you want your skylights And he'll build up a little three or four inch tall concrete border Outlining a simple square opening and your skylight will sit right on it like a loose bottle cap on a bottle So anyway when your contractor is done pouring the roof and it's solid and dry

[05:27] You just grab your tape measure measure the outside perimeter on that built-up concrete rectangular square Take those measurements down to the skylight place and they'll make you up the appropriate sized domed skylight One problem though in time after year two three or five they all leak Now they don't leak because they're a bad design They're formed out of one solid piece of plastic They don't leak because the rainy season is intense though. It is They leak because the idiot installers down here in Latin America drill holes through the perimeter lip of the skylight To fasten it with screws to the concrete Man, I'm telling you, you know, I'm not from down here in Latin America, but I could see in a second the first time

[06:15] I built a house That the contractors do things the way they do things the way they've been doing them for years and years and somehow they don't realize They're the problem. They're the cause of the leaks But they don't care because when they're done and off the job the leak doesn't come for a year or two or five And they're no longer around there's no callbacks. There's no guarantees not after two three four or five years Oh, and when it comes to construction guarantees, that's a hairy subject Contractors down here will promise you anything They'll even give you a nice one two or three year guarantee signed and sealed though I've yet to see anyone with a claim collect on it Anyway on the first house that I built within three to five years all of my skylights leak I think I had maybe six skylights total. So then what did I do? I took them off and

[07:03] Did the usual Rube Goldberg fix they do with all skylight leaks down here in Latin America? I took a caulk gun and silicone the hell out of the perimeter Then replaced the skylight on top of the wet caulk So it smeared into the perimeter an ugly mess for sure But usually and luckily you can't see the mess from the rooms inside looking up at the skylight You have to be on the roof to see that mess. Yep That's how Latin Americans fix skylight roof leaks or any kind of leak plumbing gutters You name it? They'll glop silicone on it and know it actually may work for a month or two or even a year or more The result is extremely ugly So I learned my lesson on that first house and for my second house I thought I'm not gonna let this happen again. I'm gonna be smart When the contractor placed the skylights this time

[07:50] I went to the hardware store and bought a roll of that spongy looking closed cell weather stripping the stuff that Has an adhesive backing and you pull off the tab and there's a sticky side to it So before they attach the skylights I laid down some of that weather stripping along that concrete border perimeter So the skylights rested on a permanent little eighth inch cushion of weather stripping And yes, that absolutely did the trick. There were no leaks around the perimeter of the skylight But there were still leaks this time coming from the holes that the contractors drilled into the perimeter of the skylights for the fastening screws Because the thing is you see from day to night the skylight expands and contracts it gets really hot in the day and cold at night Which eventually creates more and more of a little gap where the screw penetrates the rim of the skylight

[08:41] That's when finally a light went off in my head I thought the only way to stop these things from permanently Leaking is to never penetrate the plastic with any kind of drill or screw at all They have to be installed in one piece without modifying the plastic at all But how do you do that? Sure. You could sort of glue them down with a silicone caulk bead But that's really messy and you get that expansion and contraction from day to night Eventually that cocks gonna separate and you'll get a leak again By the way, the kind of leaks you get around the perimeter are usually due to driving rain It slams up against the roof Then the rain bounces back up under the skylight lip works its way under the perimeter and now it's dripping on your dining room table And you know, there's nothing more aggravating than having to put little Tupperware dishes around the house every time it rains

[09:30] Can't tell you how many Latino even gringo houses. I've been to where I've seen that action restaurants grocery stores and commercial centers, too Oops, sorry about that and Murphy's law would always have it. Do you remember that guy Murphy you boomers do Murphy's law would have it that all your drips will most often land on something that could be permanently damaged Like your piano keyboard or leather sofa So anyway with the third house I built and all the rest of the house is thereafter. I Never had a skylight leak again Because I developed a simple and dirty way to clamp the skylights to the perimeter concrete base Without making a single hole in the skylight plastic frame at all now think of a grouch beer bottle

[10:17] Remember those expensive European beer grouch g-r-o-l-s-h. They're expensive because the bottles so cool They've got a resealable cap the only beer bottle I know of with a resealable cap Well, that's kind of the system I developed for my skylights though much simpler In fact when I had my solar hot water heater installed, you know, they install that that's part of the deal I remember the installers they put that big hot water unit very close to one of the big skylights. I Remember one of the two guys walked over and inspected the clips I used to fasten down skylight He said man, that's a great idea. I never saw that before Where'd you get those clips? Where can I buy some? I said you can't buy them not the way you see them there

[11:04] I cut and fastened those myself out of one and a half inch Thinwall electric conduit pipe straps. Anyway, not to get into too much detail here. I Showed him how to do it. I'm sure elsewhere throughout Latin America some smart roofing guy probably him and his buddies are doing the right thing with their skylight fastening technique and Saving themselves a world of grief in callbacks and of course secondarily. They're keeping their clients happy, too The question is why does it take some gringo born and raised in Chicago? To figure out a cheap and dirty solution to an age-old problem. That should have been solved years if not decades ago You know, sometimes I think one of the best and worst Inventions of all was silicone caulk it ranks right up there with duct tape in being the universal repair material

[11:54] That really in the end only makes things worse and here in Latin America, man They criminally overuse the stuff duct tape not so much but silicone caulk There's an evil epidemic of it man I'll tell you every roof gutter and skylight is weighed down by gallons of the stuff Oh and cars too Especially after a fender bender when two parts don't exactly fit together anymore and the idiot driver doesn't have the dough to get it fixed Right, especially when it comes to headlight and tail light housings You see it with taxis and public transportation all the time with all the fender benders They get into if it weren't for silicone caulk and duct tape There'd be car parts strewn along every highway. Wait a minute Sometimes there are and man, you should see how Latinos glom that stuff on plumbing pipes

[12:40] And you know, it's not recommended for plumbing pipes or fixtures. But man, I'll tell you if you're renting have a look under your sink That's the first thing Latinos will do when there's a plumbing leak and there's always a leak They'll slather on some silicone caulk which will work for a while if there's just a tiny leak and there's no water pressure But even then give it a couple months and it'll start leaking again again It's all about the expansion and contraction of pipes using hot and cold water at different times You know if those white plastic PVC pipes under your sink are leaking you should always rip them out replace them with new ones It's the only leak proof guaranteed way to fix things but almost no one here in Latin America ever does that Not when they could run out to the corner hardware store called a fad at that

[13:25] Yeah, by the way and pick up a roll of duct tape and silicone caulk for three or four bucks Oh, by the way us engineering techies and nerd types We can always tell if someone's got a liberal arts degree Or if a person has little interest in science or how the world really works when they refer to the word Silicon Valley as Silicon Valley big difference It certainly separates the shit for brains non scientific types From persons who actually have a bit of knowledge about the physical world. Well, guess what? Silicon Valley there ain't no such thing unless you're talking about underground Hollywood studios where they shoot porno flicks Silicone is what they use in boob jobs Silicon as in Silicon Valley is what they use in solar cells and microchips

[14:13] Silicon is an actual element on the periodic table your cell phone has millions upon millions of silicon chips and gates Gates not in that fat slump doofus bill gates We're talking about mathematical bullion gates if you took any computer math now Silicone is stuff. They haven't caught guns and in boobs is not an element to be found on the periodic table It's a plastic polymer That's why often what I'm in a conversation with a reasonably intelligent person and they use the term Silicon Valley, I can't help lumping them into the same category as people who use the word irregardless Same with the clueless artsy-fartsy people who pronounce the word chromosome as chromosome

[15:01] Sorry folks ain't no Z in chromosome. Oh and those liberal scientific know-nothings who Nuclear energy, it's not nuclear energy. It's nuclear energy. I Mean look the words only been repeated over and over in every daily newspaper for 75 years and you still can't say nuclear Come on watch a YouTube read a book again. It's not nuclear But nuclear however all of us can be forgiven for the word Caribbean versus Caribbean The literary world seems to be split on that then again There's aluminum and aluminum a spot-on way to spot a Brit as they say But I digress. Where were we?

[15:48] Regardless of the fact that occasionally very smart people use the word irregardless You have to wonder why some even really smart people haven't figured that one out yet Maybe because people just don't like to correct a smart guy However, if your mother happens to be an English professor like mine is she'd have no problem correcting the pulp if he Now as for me when I screw up in Spanish and I do it all the time, I have a fallback position I always say look, it's my second language got me some slack I'll tell you what the problem is sometimes days even weeks go by and I don't have a single English Conversation with anybody not face-to-face any sometimes when I'm around nothing but Spanish speaking people I don't quite get everything they're talking about and I'll say hey Would you repeat that and sometimes for example my girlfriend who's heard me say that a million times? She'll give me that kind of look, you know an eye roll

[16:36] She'll repeat it slowing down a bit in a slightly edgy way not registering that it is my second language How would anyone realize that if we're never speaking English just Spanish? How would they know I'm not getting a hundred percent of what they're talking about? Besides that I know after all those years standing in front of a big bass amp. I'm a little bit deaf Not enough to get a hearing aid or anything. At least I don't think so Though I have had girlfriends tell me I should look into one but you know how most guys are we're stubborn about things like that and Sometimes, you know, especially at parties where they're blasting out that ragga ton trash It's sort of an advantage to be slightly deaf. By the way, speaking of slightly deaf or even lost in translation Here's one thing I've noticed that most people probably haven't picked up on

[17:22] When there's a gringo or expat who speaks pretty decent Spanish or enough to get by if he or she doesn't quite get all What's being said doesn't help. There are a couple of different versions of local Spanish the proper schoolbook version the Spanish you might converse with your family around the house with and Street Spanish which is loaded with slang words and sloppy usage. Sometimes they'll truncate the word There won't be an ending like for example, the word restaurant is restaurante on the street. They'll say restaurant They'll finish with the end and cut off the te completely Beware of that or for example resort, you know all-inclusive resort. They'll say resort They'll cut off the tea

[18:07] So for example, if you're in a crowd on the street or in a cab or talking to your uber driver He might lap off the ending of every fourth or fifth word and where are you gonna be if you're Spanish? Isn't that great, but plenty good to talk to someone formally like if you're conversing with a teller at a bank That's why for example, if let's say you're living in a country like Guatemala for two or three years You're finally getting the hang of the way that you Spanish down here. Your Spanish is clicking You can talk to business and educated people sort of formally you can make out what your cleaning ladies talking about You can even figure out what your uber driver saying to you then suddenly you decide to visit or move to a place like Panama or Argentina the DR Yeah, it landed the airport getting an uber and you don't know what the hell the guy's talking about you thinking

[18:53] Oh shit, what happened? I just got my mind wiped How could one get so dumb all the sudden? Yes, that can't be a problem that has happened to me Anyway, if there's one thing that gringles an expanse will do that is gringo is an expense to speak a little Spanish who? Miss something in translation. They don't get what a person might be saying. They just won't claim up They'll say can you repeat that please? They're generally not shy about it Whereas Latinos who know a bit of English or maybe even a lot of English When they hear someone speaking in English with an accent, let's say or with street English Something they're not getting they're not understanding more often than not. They'll just let it go They won't pipe up and ask you to repeat it. I don't know what it is, but it must be something in their nature They just don't want to seem confrontational don't want to rock the boat though. That's not really confrontational

[19:44] Let's just ask in a question. I mean how hard is it to say would you please repeat that? I didn't get it, but more often than not They'll just smile and nod as if they got it all and you won't be the wiser In fact one of my friends who owns a couple of big McKeelis in Guatemala He told me that as he expanded he hired an English-speaking Latino to run one of those McKeelis for him be the general manager His English was pretty good He said things were running pretty smoothly and my buddy told me it took him my buddy a couple of months to figure out His new English-speaking employee wasn't catching everything He was saying but he was too embarrassed and didn't want to show his lack of understanding to his new boss So he never did ask his new boss to repeat things more slowly In fact, my buddy told me in the factory when someone knows English that happens all the time

[20:31] You assume they understand your English So if you're in that situation with workers who speak English, don't assume they're getting much of it at all Don't be fooled if they nod and smile a lot doesn't matter if you say if you have any questions speak up even so Latinos won't simply put When in doubt gringos ask a lot of questions Latinos not so much Expedity tells me the same thing. He's got some great workers, but they don't ask many questions He says they'd rather take a chance to do something wrong than appear stupid and ask questions He thinks it's a macho thing because it happens much more often with Latino males He says when Latino ladies are a bit confused. They'll bring it up. They'll ask Latino guys. Not so much That's why he said when he was running the restaurant businesses

[21:17] He had a nice detailed employee handbook in Spanish, of course Which left no doubt about the correct way to do all the operations and procedures funny thing too And this was a while ago and he told me that back in around 2005 to 2008 he got to meet lots of Latino restaurant and business owners some with quite a few employees to and almost none of them had an employee handbook a Lot of them though wanted a copy of his and he was reluctant to give it out because it takes a lot of time and effort To put one together at least it did way back when when the internet was first coming on Now you could find hundreds of different examples on the internet. You don't have to reinvent the wheel But it was funny to note Eddie said that many many of his Latino friends who were business owners

[22:03] they were university graduates in business and Eddie who'd never went to business school or college He had a great little detailed employee manual and those Latino business owners didn't isn't that one of the main tenants? They teach you at business school Was it Latin American lag time or just a cultural thing or another sign of the gringo advantage though? These days all Latin American companies have employee manuals and you know who ushered in that eventuality in a big way American franchises Taco Bell Mickey D's Kentucky fry They have turnkey operations where everything spelled out in manuals down to the last letter So then local chicken licking style franchise operators here Started taking their hints from that playbook now speaking of getting a head start on the competition

[22:50] Or just getting a big head start on your plan B. Don't forget. I've got another expat insider seminar coming up in March 2024 we'll be kicking it off Friday March 8th 2024 finishing off on Friday March 15th 2024 So it'll be a week long eight days actually two different countries Guatemala and El Salvador You'll be flying into Guatemala's International Airport and leaving from the same Airport Airport code G UA So it's about time you check out those round trip flights. Oh And the seminar price includes eight nights in our various hotels and once again for all you repeat offenders Yeah, we always have repeat offenders believe it or not

[23:36] We've had people repeat the seminar three different times So if you're wondering if the seminar is really worth it think about that for a minute Anyway for all you previous attendees thinking about becoming repeat offenders you get a thousand dollar discount off the regular early bird discount price Now to get in on the early bird discounts Just go to expat plan B comm click on the seminar link for all the details and sign up info Just go to expat plan B comm hope to see you there enough said about that Alright moving on. How about some Christmas news coming out of Mexico City joy to the world now get this according to Mexico City's Largest newspaper it says Mexico's president Lopez over door Appealed to the country's citizens Tuesday not to accept holiday gifts

[24:25] Presents or handouts from drug gangs after videos posted online showing pickup trucks Handing out loads of gifts in different cities while bystanders describe the drivers as members of drug cartels Hmm. So this year Santa's got an 8k 47, huh? Oh and then it says get this president Lopez over door said in a morning press conference Local residents receiving those gifts should not try to protect those drug traffickers Since locals will often oppose national police when stationed in their city Then it says the 30s have confirmed the source of the gifts mostly toys the kids have been narcos handing stuff out most exclusively in Poor neighborhoods now you can see pictures of narcos handing that stuff out on tik-tok and Instagram

[25:14] Meanwhile convoys of trucks carrying inflatable Santa decorations and Christmas lights are popping up in all kinds of low-income neighborhoods with powerful speakers blaring narco Corrido songs praising the cartels and local leaders of gangs You've heard about those narco Corrido songs, right? If you don't know what I'm talking about the cartels will hire local and even international reggaeton artists and cowboy Ranchero artists that is if you could call those guys artists at all, but that's another discussion Anyway bystanders in those video clips receiving those presents can be heard saying out loud Why shouldn't we accept gifts from the narcos? The government doesn't give us anything. They just take Now at the press conference when asked about the videos

[26:02] Lopez over door conceded the practice was common and part of a strategy by criminal gangs to win popular support Hmm you think can you believe he actually said that? Anyway, then it goes on to say narcos in some regions are so popular for their gifts that when there's a cocaine seizure communities come out and defend the traffickers and even try to abduct members of the army and National Guard to prevent the seizure of the cocaine and Get this local residents in three different Mexican states have held demonstrations against the construction of barracks For the National Guard they prefer the narcos in their towns to the National Guard then it says most recently the Mexican populations most massive show of local support for criminal gangs has come from

[26:49] fuel theft gangs that drill into government pipelines to steal gas and diesel and After they've filled their trucks They let the local people collect gas and diesel from those taps Which is why so many local communities fight raids by the police in the army against the narcos Because narcos share the wealth with the locals and the government gives them nothing So once again in a press conference Tuesday Mexico's president appealed to country citizens not to accept Christmas holiday handouts and gifts from drug gangs. Yeah, right. That should work Yeah, mr. President that should teach those nasty cartel members a lesson deck the halls with boughs of stupidity Merry Christmas to you, too You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America

[27:37] If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat Insider seminar in Central America where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com