#1419 – The Expat Files: Navigating Latin America’s Transportation Risks and Cultural Insights

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border, down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play And now as I wander Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to The Exped Files, living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live, work, play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good, the bad, the ugly and the great And it's all right here so let's get started Back again, somewhat live Missed a show last week, had an attack of laryngitis again You know, that's an occupational hazard when you blather on for a living, you know? So if you're wondering, that's what happened

[00:46] Alright, let's get on it, got some good stuff for you today First of all, just another little warning for all you guys and gals out there Who would think it's so cute and cool to ride the chicken bus Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Great photo ops and selfies to send to the folks back home But let me tell you, those things, especially the older ones, are death traps I'm talking about chicken buses and certain kinds of public transportation, etc And even the new ones, all chromed out with a million lights flashing Like some high-voltage, low-budget carnival ride on wheels And though it's true, much drivers are proud as punch to be in control of those things The truth is, they're not really in control because a lot of them are technically DUI In fact, I saw a report not so long ago in the Prince de Libre, Guatemala's biggest newspaper

[01:33] That said, around 50% of the drivers pulled over and tested over the limit for a DUI 50%! So then what happened next? Well, apparently they just quit testing them By the way, I'd say I've been pulled over at least maybe 60 or 70 times over the years Of my living here in Latin America, a couple times a year anyway Never, though, in the usual traditional way, you get pulled over up in the States You know, you're just driving along, a cop pulls up behind you, hits the lights, and yup Better pull over, or else Down here? That just doesn't happen, I've never seen it happen Although you'll see cops with their cherries flashing all the time They never use them to pull over people They use them to get through a traffic bottleneck on their way to McDonald's or a donut joint

[02:20] So don't worry, don't get excited when a cop pulls up behind you with his lights flashing He's not gonna stop ya, he's not gonna pull you over Even if you've got two burnt out tail lights, it doesn't matter, he's not gonna stop ya Anyway, I'd say I get pulled over maybe twice a year, nothing happens They, of course, want your license and paperwork And if they ask any other questions, just mumble in English In nothing but English And even if they're out to extort 20, 30, or 50 bucks out of ya They'll just give up the mission and frustration and wave ya on But the point is, in all the times I've been pulled over, never, ever have I been given a breathalyzer test Or asked to walk along In fact, there was only one time I ever saw a breathalyzer That was once when I got pulled over in Costa Rica The cop had it in his hand, but he didn't ask me to blow into it

[03:09] Instead, they apparently just got it that day, it was a new toy for him So the cops themselves were blowing into it Laughing and giggling and kinda showing off that they had a new toy By the way, while I was watching, they dropped it on the ground two or three times Which means probably a piece of junk by the end of the day Though apparently, most recently in some Latin countries, they're getting kinda serious about this drunken driver thing Because they know the public transport drivers and the chicken bus drivers Are, for the most part, drinkers Which brings me to this headline article from Ecuador That came out on March 3rd, just last week This is from El Mercurio, and I'll translate this It says, Runaway Chicken Bus Kills Five on Cuenca's West Side I'll paraphrase this enough for you to get the idea

[03:56] It says, Five people are dead and another ten are seriously injured After a chicken bus crashed into vehicles and buildings in the Sayasi area early Saturday It says, the bus driver, who was injured in the accident, claimed his brakes failed As he entered the commercial district Meanwhile, it says, residents describe what they call an apocalyptic scene Following the accident Police report that the bus struck at least nine vehicles and glanced off two buildings Then, taking down two power poles before ultimately smashing into a taxi Oddly enough though, in addition to the driver, there were only two passengers on the bus at the time None who died but both seriously injured Among the dead include a pedestrian, two people on a motorcycle

[04:42] Two passengers in the taxi And at least two other injured reported to be in severe to critical condition in a Cuenca hospital Now, here's the part you should let sink in Following a police records check of the driver Police said neither the bus nor the driver were properly licensed or insured And get this, police records also show that the bus and the driver Were involved in a recent accident in December There were no deaths but multiple people were injured It says, the driver is in guarded condition recovering from his injuries in the hospital He will be held in preventive detention when he is able to be moved Now, here's the thing, I've seen and heard of multiple chicken bus accidents over the years

[05:30] Whereas in this case, the driver and or the bus or both Were not legally licensed to be driving or on the road And it's also very common when chicken buses get into big accidents The driver makes a run for it Now, why would he do that? Well, if he and his bus were properly licensed and insured And he wasn't drinking or had a relatively low blood alcohol content He wasn't packing any open booze in his cab Then he'd have no reason to make a run for it, right? And this guy, I'd be willing to bet, would have made a run for it Considering the facts that he wasn't properly licensed I'd bet a Bitcoin he didn't haul ass because he was too mangled to do so Oh, and speaking of shit drivers The other day I was driving along with a gringo at night

[06:16] In a big Latin America city, which I don't recommend I'm talking about driving around at night Though sometimes you have to, it's inevitable Anyway, the gringo in the car said to me, Johnny, I just can't believe What must be in the minds of the drivers down here Obviously, they're super proud of their vehicles Most of them are driving 15-year-old pieces of junk But they buy all kinds of stupid accessories and add-ons Reflectors flashing lights, sparkling decals Absolutely pointless spoilers and chrome exhaust pipe tips Along with Jesus decals and Bible sayings My gringo passenger was saying all that while pointing out cars as they went by Then, at the same time, he pointed out cars that had no taillights or headlights at all

[07:05] That's what he meant by drivers being schizophrenic here in Latin America Some will outfit their cars and trucks with a hundred different flashing lights and stickers And some will drive around with no lights at all Not even proper headlights or taillights Yeah, what goes through the minds of drivers down here is a mystery to me, too That a guy with a 15-year-old rusted out Honda Civic shitbox Will buy a thousand dollars worth of chrome rims Slap a useless spoiler on his trunk Mount a beast of a throbbing stereo in his backseat And yet not spend two bucks to get a burnt-out taillight fixed Or even fix his cracked windshield Now, I can tell you all day long that you shouldn't let that stuff get to you

[07:51] But, man, when you're brought up in the first world, it's just hard not to be a critic Take road rage, for example There's no switch you could flip on and off at will Either have it or you don't That's why I always tell gringos and expats Sure, you can have a gun down here As many as you want Unless, of course, you're living in Mexico, Cuba, or Venezuela Yeah, but in most other Latin countries, the gun laws are very liberal But because of gringos and their road rage, I don't recommend you have one in your car Alright, switching gears a bit You know how I always say that upscale Latinos are super gringo wannabes And how, if you're off the gringo tourist trail Latinos with money, position, and power will want to be your friend In fact, most gringos living down here off the tourist trail for a while Will tell you they've had many encounters with people they could never have met

[08:40] Had they not been gringos In fact, one of our very good expat buddies, Chase, is a guy who it seems that kind of stuff happens to all the time Man, I'll tell you, if you sat down with that guy a while He'll tell you some stories on how he, by virtue of the fact that he's a gringo Living down here off the gringo tourist trail Has been invited to exclusive places and parties that would seem even outrageous in a Hollywood movie If you ever do run into him, or come to one of my expat insider seminars Ask Chase about it, you'll be amazed Anyway, in every medium and large size Latin town There are certain districts that the wealthy Latino gringo wannabes hang, work, and play We're not talking about the middle or lower classes, because it takes money to hang there

[09:28] You'll see upscale malls, and gyms, and Starbucks High-end car dealerships, etc, etc It's as if every medium and large Latin American city has its own little version of my jammy So if you ever want to get a snapshot of how the wealthy Latinos live, and of course their entitled kids There are certain districts and neighborhoods in medium and large cities they all seem to hang The very definition of gringo wannabe However, if you want to see them all in one place at one time All you have to do is buy a ticket to a live event When a first world musical has been, or oldies, or classic rock band comes to town And yep, they're coming on through all the time because there's a ready market of gringo wannabes

[10:14] And most of these musical husbands, whose time has come and gone Can still fill a stadium Not up in the States or Europe, but down here in Latin America they can still fill a stadium Case in point, guess who came through Latin America just this month? Good old Sting Now I'm not much of a Sting fan myself, though the police had a few good songs They never did ring my bell Anyway, Sting came through with his new band I think it's called Sting 2.0 or 3.0, something like that And he's selling to full houses throughout Latin America He just came through Cuenca 20,000 gringo wannabes packed that stadium, it was a full house He sold out at the stadium in Lima, Peru, Bogota, Colombia, Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, Buenos Aires, Argentina

[11:02] And again, those stadiums were absolutely filled to the brim With wealthy Latino gringo wannabes, because it was the place to be Most of who don't know enough English to even be able to understand what the words to the songs mean But you see, if you get to know any wealthy gringo wannabes You'll find out that they just love to play first world gringo musical artists Because it gives them some first world cachet And my impression is, it's not that they love gringo music so much It's just that it sort of marks you as a person of higher culture A sophisticated, so to speak You play gringo music in your car and around the house It's a status thing, like saying you have season tickets to the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra Even though you're not at all into Bach, Schubert, or Beethoven

[11:49] Now, if you don't believe me or you think I'm yanking your cord Just take a visit to any one of those upscale neighborhood shopping centers I was talking about Upscale car dealer, Starbucks, high-end gym, physician, or dentist's office Just have a listen to the soundtracks they're playing on their stereo systems Though there may be a spattering of popular latino music I guarantee you there'll be classic English language music And if it's a much younger crowd, like a gas or diesel or Stradivarius or Forever 21 store There'll be some popular American shitty rap songs in the mix There'll be some Spanish hits, but most songs will be in English Put it this way, both upscale wealthy latinos To prove to the rest of their neighbors in latino society that there are cut above

[12:38] They'll have lots of English language songs in their Spotify or YouTube music rotation It's something that always struck me funny, since they can almost never understand what the words mean But just to have that stuff playing in the background, in the car, in the house, in the bar, the restaurant To be in that so-called exclusive club And apparent connoisseur and aficionado of first world music, well, that's the point As opposed to middle and lower middle class latinos Who wouldn't be caught dead with the likes of Sting or Bon Jovi, Clapton, etc. in their music rotation In fact, with most latinos, you mention those names, they don't even know who the hell you're talking about Meanwhile, since we're talking about Cuenca Ecuador And the fact that I happen to be reading a police report out of El Mercurio, the largest news service in Ecuador

[13:31] And this caught my eye, because in a previous show, we were talking about how throughout Latin America, thieves love stealing iPhones And that's why it's not a good idea to have one Though I mentioned every Latin American teenage and adult girl, it's absolutely number one on her wish list And she'll go into heavy debt to get one Anyway, get this, it says, last Friday morning, there was an arrest of a woman who was found with 17 iPhones in her backpack It says the woman was preparing to board a bus in Guayaquil at terminal Terrestri when the police stopped her and did a search So why'd they mess with her? It turns out, the police say, it's because two of the iPhones had tracking software And their owners were able to determine their location

[14:18] By going to the tracking app on their computer Turns out, when questioned why she had 17 iPhones, two of them actively being tracked She said she's from out in the boonies and comes to Cuenca every year, the big city, for the carnival event You know, late February, carnival, big fiestas, people getting drunk, partying She said when there's hordes of people in a big event and everyone's drunk, people leave their phones around And she just picks stray phones up off the ground She denied that she's stolen them or that she was pickpocketing Hmm, nice try Alright, let's take an email from Willie, he says Johnny, I own a house cleaning service in Niles, Illinois I subcontract with around 35 Airbnb's

[15:08] He says, or she says, I don't know if it's a guy or a girl Willie, are you a guy or a girl? Because he or she spells Willie W-I-L-L-I Could be a girl Anyway, Willie says, you've mentioned Airbnb's in your shows a couple of times Well, you know, Johnny, that's how I make money cleaning Airbnb's But I'll never, personally, take a vacation or recommend to any of my friends, take a vacation rental And an Airbnb Willie says, I've been cleaning Airbnb's for eight years now I've seen so many neglected Airbnb's I've seen mold in dishwashers Coated ceiling fans Clogged furnace fans And gross stuff on walls

[15:54] Roach motels inside of toasters Boogers on bed frames Hardened, unknown organic gunk in showers and bath stalls Hairballs in drains and corners Decorator sofa and bed pillows that have never, ever been cleaned Willie says, Johnny, I've seen it all and I personally would never, ever stay at a vacation Airbnb rental in the U.S. so I can hardly imagine staying in one in Latin America Where the standards are even lower than ours As far as I'm concerned, says Willie A decent three-star hotel is perfectly adequate Hotels have definite standards They count on trip advisory views and repeat customers Airbnb's don't

[16:40] Thanks, Johnny Just thought I'd throw in my two cents about Airbnb's since you do mention them on your show on occasion Good shows, by the way, Johnny Keep them coming Signed Willie Alright, thanks for that, Willie You know, speaking of cleaning ladies, since we've been talking a lot about that lately I got this email recently from Lindsay She says, Johnny, I'm well along on my plan B And one thing I really am looking forward to is having someone else clean my house She says, I'm living in Atlanta and I used to have a cleaning lady come in twice a week But I just can't afford one anymore She says, cleaning ladies here, ones that are in the country legally anyway Won't accept the job unless they get a whole day's work out of it They won't do half days And most will not work for less than 25 bucks an hour

[17:25] So eight times 25, that's $200 a day Think of it That means a cleaning lady makes $1,000 a week That's almost more than I make 50 grand a year So, Johnny, when you tell us your cleaning lady makes, what is it you said, $15 a day Well, I just can't wait to get down there and see that for myself Whether it's $15, $20, $25 a day, I don't care Even $25 sounds too good to be true Just hope it isn't too good to be true Here's breaking news Canada's Ontario Premier Doug Ford Just threatened to cut off electricity to over 1 million homes in New York, Michigan and Minnesota In response to the Trump administration's tariffs

[18:12] That went into effect a couple of days ago You can see the article in Newsweek magazine Amongst many other news sources Now, while I believe this is just a threat And most likely he won't follow through on this It seems to be even more prudent these days Not to rely on anyone else to provide your power to your home You gotta start thinking about solar, get the hell off the grid Supplemental solar anyway By the way, my favorite hybrid solar inverter on the market Is called the Flexbox 21 by EG4 You could buy a truck from a US company called Signature Solar My favorite battery, it's also EMP protected Is the EG4 PowerPro wall mount all-weather lithium battery

[18:59] By the way, it's got a 10 year warranty And will probably last 30 By the way, I'm putting together an off-grid solar system right now With three of those batteries They're 14.3 kilowatt hours each That means I'll have about 43 kilowatt hours of battery Could be in the dark for five days and it would still power a whole house Anyway, if you want more information on that stuff I'll send you the links, I don't make any money off of this Even though I recommend certain products By the way, if you're worried about batteries exploding and catching fire Let me just tell you the facts There are two kinds of lithium batteries on the market On occasion, the ones that have so-called potential risks You know, you heard about them catching fire on airplanes and stuff

[19:45] Are lithium ion batteries Those are the kinds of batteries you have in your cell phone In your laptop, in electric cars That is electric cars up to about a year and a half to two years ago The second, much more safe lithium batteries Are called lithium iron phosphate batteries It's a specific battery chemistry that's proven to be much safer Compared to traditional lithium ion batteries So contrary to what you've heard, some misconceptions Lithium iron phosphate batteries do not pose an explosion or fire threat You must remember, there are two kinds of lithium batteries Lithium iron phosphate, the safer newer ones And the lithium ion batteries, which happen to be in all your cell phones and laptops, etc

[20:33] Any small electric devices that run on batteries Yep, they still use them because you can make them very small and flat Whereas lithium iron phosphate batteries, LiFEP04 they're called They cannot be made small and flat They can make them big, tall and square, but not small and flat So that means you can rule out cell phones and portable battery packs, etc That's why the FAA has put limits on the size and volume of those things you can carry on airplanes Anyway, one of the main reasons why the lithium iron phosphate batteries are so much safer Is their stable crystalline structure They can withstand a much higher temperature than the more reactive lithium ion types Anyway, the whole world is starting to switch over to lithium iron phosphate batteries

[21:18] Because of those reasons All the newer electric vehicles have them, as well as medical devices In fact, all the electric vehicle fires and explosions you've been hearing about and seeing in the media Those are almost all the older lithium ion types of batteries So, bottom line, in case you're worried Contrary to misconceptions, lithium iron phosphate batteries pose no risk of explosion of fire Reason why I mention this is because most people don't even know there are two kinds of lithium batteries The older, more unstable, more prone to explosion and fire, lithium ion, being phased out Bad information most people have accumulated about battery safety must be addressed And accurate knowledge promoted To make sure you're not avoiding electric cars and solar because you think they're dangerous

[22:06] You should not be afraid to make the move to off-grid solar and newer and much safer electric vehicles By the way, if you ask Rock or Chet, GPT or any of the artificial intelligence engines Ask this question Electric vehicles versus internal combustion cars Give me a fire risk comparison Well, I'm reading this directly now It says, according to most all studies and data Electric vehicles are considered to be much less likely to catch fire compared to internal combustion cars Due to the following reasons Number one, lithium battery risks are much more manageable now Especially with the newer, less flammable lithium iron phosphate chemistry Number two, internal combustion cars, gasoline-powered cars, have many more fire-prone components

[22:55] Presence of fuel tanks, gas lines, spark plugs, all which can ignite if damaged or properly maintained Number three, electrical vehicle fires are easily contained When an electric vehicle battery does catch fire, the risk of the fire spreading is much lower Due to battery's newer designs and the vehicle's safety features Such as firewalls and thermal management systems Bottom line, internal combustion engines, gasoline-powered cars, explode and catch fire Much more frequently than electric vehicles Now, if that doesn't convince you, how about this stat from the National Transportation Safety Board Only 25 out of 100,000 all-electric vehicles are likely to catch fire Compared to more than 1,500 gasoline vehicles out of 100,000 on the road likely to catch fire

[23:47] In other words, according to the National Transportation Safety Board The fire rate of electric vehicles is 61 times lower than that of a gasoline vehicle So then why all the panic and hyperbole in the media? Why every week or so do you see an electric car or two on fire, going viral in the media Where they almost never show a gasoline vehicle on fire or blowing up, though it's 61 times more likely Scare tactics, man, fake news It seems to be a plot against, guess who, Tesla Because all the cars you see blowing up and on fire in the media are Teslas You ever notice that? Never a Ford or a Honda or a Kia or a Volvo electric, only a Tesla

[24:32] Yet it's a stunning fact that when the average American is questioned As to which type of cars more easily catch fire or explode They always say electric vehicles Now if you don't like the facts from the National Transportation Safety Board Australia's Department of Defense funded an EV safety fire study to look into the question In their country, they found there was a 0.0012% chance of a passenger electric vehicle battery catching fire Compared with a 0.1% chance for an internal combustion engine car to catch fire In that study, internal combustion engines, gas cars, were 100 times more likely to catch fire than an EV

[25:18] How about Norway, which has the world's highest proportion of electric car sales There are between four and five times more fires in petrol and diesel cars According to the Directorate for Social Security and Emergency Preparedness Then there's Sweden, you've got the Swedish Civil Contingencies Agency This year found there were 3.8 fires per 100,000 electric cars Compared with 68 fires per 100,000 cars taking all other fuel types into account, gas and diesel So are you bored and sick of these statistics yet? Well, just hope now you're much more well informed Alright, last but not least Remember when you were a kid and you had a Schwinn bike Maybe you had a Huffy or an expensive dirt bike or a racer

[26:05] Didn't we all try to pull wheelies? You know, prop yourself up on the back wheel and hope you don't fall over and kill yourself It was the cool thing to do Girls didn't pop wheelies, guys, we did it Some of us got pretty good at it, we could pull a wheelie for half a block Well, you long time listeners probably remember me saying that most Latin American guys Their brains don't seem to mature, they never get out of adolescence Their brains seem to freeze up at around 18 Once you get down here you can see it for yourself Seems to be sort of a brain disease going around Where Latinos with motorcycles, guys of all ages Will just, out of the blue, pop a wheelie right in front of you Now, I'm not talking about popping a wheelie on a bicycle Which is fairly dangerous, especially in traffic

[26:52] I'm talking about something really dangerous and stupid Popping a wheelie on a motorcycle in heavy traffic, in any traffic You know, I don't think a day has gone by in the past year Where I haven't been driving down the road And some guy on a motorcycle will just pop a wheelie I'm not just talking about a guy going back and forth to work I'm talking about delivery guys, delivering pizzas, Taco Bell, McDonald's They'll be right in front of you or next to you, pop a wheelie Race ahead on one wheel, the back wheel They're so happy when they're up in the air like that Like they deserve applause or something So, be on the lookout for fools on motorcycles pulling circus stunts Just saying Email the expat files at gmail.com