#1453 – Episode 1453: Life, Retirements, and the Noise of Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Let's start today's show with an email It should be of much interest to most of you after all if you've got a plan B And you're thinking of getting the hell out of Dodge One of your top priorities is gonna be the cost of living and just how long your nest egg is gonna last if you have one

[00:47] And or if your retirement income or social security and will allow you to live a first-world style life I mean that is the goal, isn't it? On that note comes this email from Edward. He says dear Johnny the wife and I decided to retire in Antigua Guatemala in 2012. So in effect, we've been living a 100% expat life for the past 13 years We were lucky I retired very young and brought up my two children To fend for themselves and they were out of the house and working and self-sufficient Right out of college as for me and the wife were late baby boomers born in 1964 I'd like to emphasize once again Johnny that I retired very young in my early 50s I had also like to emphasize that I did not especially enjoy what I chose to do for a living

[01:37] Nor did my wife who was a teacher though when she first started teaching She loved it though after a few years She started really getting depressed on Sundays knowing she'd have to go back to what she referred to as the jungle on Monday So Johnny both of us have college degrees But neither of us liked our jobs a common tragedy of a child of the 60s and 70s upbringing In fact, almost none of my friends all of us college graduates really enjoyed what we did for a living But we had nice stable careers jobs as a professional We accepted it and didn't complain much because we certainly did much better than our parents all of us with nice Air-conditioned offices and cubicles. We didn't have to sweat for a living like most of our parents did that was the goal for children of the 60s and 70s Having a nice white-collar career with an air-conditioned office

[02:24] Preferably working your way up to a corner office. That was the goal and a sign that we made it Moving on up like George Jefferson. Yeah, I have to be a boomer or a Gen Xer to remember that show I repeat Johnny. I did not especially enjoy what I did for a living, but I didn't complain nor did I suffer in silence I just thought that's the way it is. After all I was doing much better than my parents ever did though In my case because I didn't especially enjoy what I did I had no urge to build capital endlessly as some of my friends did and are still doing the goal was a nice middle-class retirement So I accumulated just enough to retire nicely south of the border No giant nest egg just a nice calm living or so I thought it was very doable at first

[03:12] The wife and I don't need much just a nice house and a decent car good health care insurance, etc You know despite common perception Johnny economic studies confirm that generally your lifestyle spending at whatever adult age is a function of our individual childhood heritage and family spending habits We grew up with as kids if for example your mom and dad were tightwads You'll probably be one too and if your parents were in debt and fighting about money all the time That'll probably happen to you too. No matter how much you earn It's set when we are young and living with your parents ages 5 to 15 They say those are the critical years that set your future adult economic patterns For example, if during those formative years 5 to 15 your parents gave you everything

[04:02] Then you feel entitled like that all your life Same goes if you were sort of poor or lower middle class and your parents couldn't even give you an allowance Then you will always be sort of frugal and watch your pennies at whatever adult age Multiple studies have shown a person's attitude about money does not change much over the years It's been generally shown through that if you give a person a lot of stuff as a kid They will tend to become ridiculous spenders as adults Especially if they make a lot of money as adults They'll bend to extremes and not have much of an estate even if left a big inheritance They'll spend it all caricatures of Arab princes and rappers and reggaeton arrows come to mind their homes are filled with golden toilet seats and

[04:49] Expensive bad art you'd be surprised Johnny. How many people don't even know how to balance a checkbook I mean when there were such things as checkbooks anyhow Johnny the wife and I Frugal as we are thought we did everything right had a plan for the future got the hell out of dodge It all was going just fine until kovat when prices and inflation started going crazy It was so obvious to see the diminishing value of the US dollar We've noticed since kovat around the year 2020 a 5% loss in buying power year-over-year We've calculated about a 50% loss in the US dollars buying power since we arrived in Antigua in 2012 No way can I blame the Guatemalan stairs suffering, too. I Blame the US political establishment and the bureaucrats whose extreme spending and bad decision have disrupted

[05:39] Everyone's retirement plan, especially anyone who's on a fixed retirement income Hmm, then n word goes on to say thankfully though here in Guatemala We've been mostly protected from severe effects of that inflation and the fall of the US dollar Because things happen very slowly here in drips and drabs But it is very noticeable when we travel back to the US how much inflation is strangling in the middle class we go back to the United States for a week or two once or twice a year for Graduations weddings or important grandkid events It never fails as soon as we land at O'Hare field. We're already starting to feel sad Somehow we always return to Guatemala with a handful of new and more depressing stories. That's not right in the end though

[06:26] I know the wife and I will be fine I know it's common wisdom to say you can't live someone else's life for them But if any of our kids hits this kids or loses his job to cutbacks or AI whatever That I don't even want to think about Anyhow, keep up the good work Johnny. You're one of the main reasons we picked Guatemala In fact just the other day the wife and I were talking about how it was one of the five best decisions We've ever made All right, Edward, thanks for that by the way, my parents could never afford to give me an allowance either Here's a question for you listeners out there. Did you get an allowance? And if you did, how much was it more importantly? Did you give your kids an allowance? Let me know send me an email the expat files at gmail.com now a little bit more on the theme of retiring

[07:13] Here in Latin America and what it will cost you to live a decent first-world style life down here Wouldn't you know a very large study came out? You could check out the website go banking rates calm It's a massive study talking about what it really costs to retire in the US and other countries around the world Well, according to go banking rates calm a so-called comfortable 20-year retirement. In other words, if you retire at 65 and die at 85, that's a 20-year retirement, right? Anyway, according to go banking rates calm a comfortable 20-year retirement will cost between two and three point seven million dollars if you do it in the US while the figure in Latin America For that same comfortable 20-year retirement will cost between three hundred thousand and five hundred thousand dollars about

[08:04] Ten to twenty percent of US retirement costs Sounds really crazy, but you can look it up The survey says that retirement costs very widely in the US depending on where you live Of course with seniors living in Hawaii paying the most about double Retirees living in West Virginia will pay the study also found that less than 50% of Americans have saved enough for Retirement while only about 10% of Latin Americans have saved enough for their retirement Which is why you rarely see older Latin Americans people over 60 years old lounging around in beach chairs Sucking down daiquiris by a pool old even very old Latinos and Latinas still work if you do come down to Latin America Have a look around you see who's got a machete and who is chopping the weeds

[08:50] Some of those guys if you notice are really old see who's manning a little kiosks selling coconuts or tortillas Some of those ladies in charge are really old in fact out in the boonies You see lots of really old guys 80 year old guys with box lunches and machete in hand and man Some of these guys are super fit and super wiry. Oh and by the way though There are large quantities of obese Latinos and Latinas Sort of a recent phenomenon when I first came down here 30 plus years ago It was like one really fat guy or gal out of 20 or 30 now It's at least half I lit enough in the still working class 70 80 and 90 year old category almost no one is overweight Predictably and it's two in the states to really fat guys and gals usually don't make it much past 60

[09:36] But back to that retirement study we were talking about now It seems everybody in the US knows they have to save for retirement much as they try though. Most people don't save enough It's that promise of Social Security that people count on that's become a double-edged sword Most Americans try to save for retirement and eventually end up throwing in the towel thinking with Social Security I won't starve and I'll have a roof over my head So if you really analyze it Social Security has become a disincentive to saving for retirement now Of course every Latin American government copies the US government and practically everything including copying the US Constitution almost word-for-word they've copied the US Social Security program, too Now if you think the US Social Security is a bankrupt abject failure and it is you ain't seen nothing yet

[10:24] You ought to check out some of the Social Security systems here in Latin America But one thing less than half of the Latin American population is covered by that system Because you have to have a job that's on the books where you pay into that system to qualify for old-age payouts Meanwhile 40 to 50 percent of all jobs here in Latin America are off the books are in the informal economy You know on a cash basis no payroll tax. No government withholdings No taxes and even with Latinos who are on that Social Security pension system surveys report just like in the US average Social Security pensions in Latin America cover much less than half the cost of Living a standard middle-class life, you know I've talked to quite a few Latin American old-timers who are on their country's Social Security plan And I haven't met a single old-timer yet who makes more than 250 US dollars a month as a Social Security benefit

[11:16] I've been told the average Latin American Social Security payment is 200 bucks or less That is unless of course you are retired from a government job Another reason why most Latinos would love to work for government They always seem to get a much higher Social Security retirement benefit than someone retired from a private sector job Because their pay is much higher than in the private sector sometimes double for a similar job if you want to call sitting on your ass and pushing paper around half a sleep with One eye on tiktok a real job in government. Those are considered real jobs Anyway, it seems that both the US Social Security system and the Latin American Social Security system are totally inadequate To cover the cost of retirement. So it's not just a problem up by you Speaking of retiring here in Latin America Mauricio writes in with this

[12:05] He says everyone wants to know about the cost of living. Everyone's got a different answer Of course calculating the cost of living here in Latin America depends on your style of living and everyone's styles a bit different I have a simpler and more realistic way of viewing this important aspect of retirement I call it the three times plug-in rule It works out pretty good with the exception of the stuff you might plug in like your hobbies could be Technology or drinking habits cars your personal oddball preferences That would be the stuff you plug in like Cuban cigars, which could cost 20 or 30 bucks a peep Anyway, Mauricio says look at it this way My three times plug-in rule means is exactly this if you're up in the States Everything will be three times more expensive that it is here in Latin America

[12:50] Except if you're on the tourist trip if you rent a nice place off the tourist trail here in Latin America It might be 600 bucks It'll probably be 1800 in the States in the States three times as much for rent if a haircut here in Latin America is six bucks It'll probably be 18 bucks in the state if a nice big breakfast in Guatemala or Honduras or Salvador is eight bucks It's probably 24 bucks in the States three times as much I agree with most of what you said in the past show Johnny You said if you're living down here in Latin America and your house is paid for and your car is paid for You could absolutely live a first-world style of life on a fifteen hundred dollar a month social security check double that if it's a couple Even so I see all the time articles up in the States from so-called real estate specialists saying that you should never spend more

[13:36] Than a third of your income on rent or a mortgage So even if you don't own a place outright in Latin America and you pay rent You can get a nice two-bedroom place even a small house for six hundred bucks a month about a third of an average Social Security check so you'd still fall in those real estate specialist guidelines No more than a third of your income for your monthly rent or a mortgage the kicker is I know many people up in The states who pay five hundred to a thousand dollars a month for umbrella Casualty insurance on their houses. That's just for insurance reinforcing the fact it does not make sense to live up in the United States unless you're rich or upper-middle-class definition of upper-middle-class 150,000 bucks a year for a family of four. I just looked it up Anyhow Johnny I can vouch for the fact that you can live very well in Latin America on fifteen hundred dollars a month

[14:26] I do and I live quite well But you might need double that if you're used to making trips back and forth to the US or other countries a couple times A year that goes if you're used to buying Christmas and birthday gifts for your useless entitled grandkid Seems to be quite a common thing with expat gringos I know lots of expats living south of the border who stupidly reward their grandkids who pretty much don't give a rat's ass about They're south of the border grandpa or grandma Older expat retirees are stupid that way then he says I'm a single retiree living in Guatemala I've got a couple of grandkids up in the states and I do not spoil them I don't need them to like me for what I can give them that said Johnny Here's my monthly expenses breakdown rent 400 bucks for a one-bedroom apartment in a decent area

[15:13] unfurnished Utilities electric water gas and trash 60 bucks a month internet and phones 60 bucks a month That's internet plus two cell phones with a prepaid data plan groceries 250 bucks a month That's from local markets and supermarkets with a few imported foods thrown in when they're at moderate prices dining out I figure 120 bucks a month. That's 10 bucks per meal around 12 meals per month Sure, I could eat where it's 20 or 30 bucks a plate But I prefer to eat at nice mom and pop restaurants and give them the business Okay, then we've got transportation 70 bucks a month three taxi round trips per week five bucks each plus weekly supermarket return Nope, I don't have my own car. I found I don't need one just yet All right, then there's private health care insurance a hundred bucks a month pays for 80% of my routine care prescription

[16:02] Etc entertainment and miscellaneous expenses about 140 bucks a month that includes Netflix 10 bucks a month Gym membership 25 a month and a paid proton email account with VPN monthly contingency fund a hundred bucks for unexpected costs like dentistry house repairs, etc If you add it up that leaves about thirteen hundred a month So I'm 200 bucks a month below that fifteen hundred dollar estimate which will get spent for travel or gifts Whatever or I could spend maybe 50 of that hundred on domestic help a cleaning lady one or two days a week with my one-bedroom Apartment, I don't know if it's worth it. Anyway, Johnny I wake up every day and pretty much don't want for anything. My little piece of paradise costs me $1,500 a month though. My best laid plans could go out the window if I end up getting a car or a steady girlfriend

[16:53] All right, Mauricio. Thanks for that now about getting a car and a steady girlfriend That's the real wild card Mauricio having a Latina girlfriend Is it worth it? You'll never know unless you try. Hey, you only live once All right moving on and a little bit off the point, you know, i've seen something down here that I never saw before First of all, you all know that having a cell phone up to your face 24 7 is not a good thing Even though the lane stream media will tell you that cell phone radiation doesn't do any damage Just look up cell phone radiation damage on an independent search engine not google Try the brave browser. Anyway, you'll find hundreds if not thousands of studies most of them coming out of europe Talking about how long-term exposure to 4 and 5g radiation from your phone can cause brain swelling

[17:39] Heating of the brain tumors on that side of the head where you most use the phone You know the story And it kills me when I see mostly women With that phone tucked in their ass pocket where she had close to the heart in the bra Anyway, what i'm starting to see down here in latin america is a very new sort of strange phenomena And I guess if you were a cynic you could call it darwinism, you know survival of the fittest latin america's just crawling with little delivery guys On rice burner motorcycles every little mini market grocery store restaurants got a fleet of them So, you know when you're driving a car down the highway There's a plague of these guys weaving and bobbing and occasionally scratching the side of your car as they squeeze through Well, you know these weasely little delivery guys live and die by their cell phone They constantly have one eye on the road and one eye on their cell phone because they're checking ways

[18:26] Delivery orders and best routes to take to get to their client Well, i've noticed for the last couple of years those little piss ant drivers would have their phones mounted on their handlebars somewhere Because you know when you're driving a motorcycle You can't very well hold phone in your hand hit the handbrake and make quick turns at the same time And when you got your phone mounted on the handlebars and the sun's glaring There's no way to really see the screen with any d-tip and with all the traffic noise There's definitely no way to catch the audio. Thus in the last two or three years There's been a huge increase in motorcycle accident Which normally I would say is a natural culling process of idiots on the road Except for the fact they almost always collide with a car and that means every car nearby is in convenience, too You know what happens when there's an accident traffic gets even more clogged up and a gaper's block always ensues

[19:13] Anyway, enter a new fad just starting to see this and it's catching on like wildfire Turns out those little rat-faced motorcyclists have found a way to attach their cell phones Inside their helmets using double-sided tape and velcro So the phone is effectively plastered to their ear and cheek They've developed a system to listen to the audio and talk into it the whole time Without ever having to actually look at the screen So now when I pull up at an intersection stuck in a swarm or I should say plague of delivery guys Almost all of them miracle of miracles have both hands on their handlebars because the phone's in the helmet So then what are the secondary effects of having a cell phone plastered against your face 24 seven? Well one positive effect is the motorcyclist is actually driving safer

[20:01] He's got two hands on the handlebars and he doesn't have one eye permanently glued to his phone The other positive secondary effect is that to have a phone stuck to your face in that manner Means you have to have a helmet on well, how would he do it? Of course, none of those fools knows that having a cell phone plastered against your head 24 seven It's like having your head in a low-powered microwave oven all day Which probably doesn't matter much because most of those road rats have shit for brains and shit doesn't fry Anyway, just thought you might like to know about the latest trend though. It's not recommended for normal people. Don't try it yourself All right. By the way, there's an interesting little article. I saw posted on an internet forum the other day where some expat wannabes were talking about how they were so Looking forward to moving to latin america for some peace quiet and a well-deserved relaxing retirement

[20:51] Anyway, they got a lot of responses from some expats living down here That mostly said hey if you're looking for some nice quiet neighborhood living the rest of your retired life You're just not gonna find that in latin america unless you move way out in the boonies And have virtually no neighbors at all because if you're nearby to any neighborhoods or houses at all You need to understand that latin americans love their parties their parades their concerts their festivals their fireworks And there's almost no place in latin america where you don't hear the occasional dog barking And the more than occasional rooster crowing And in the city even in small towns the day-to-day traffic can fire up to decibels that just Overpower you and you have to know that here in latin america 99 percent of houses are not set

[21:36] Way back like they are in many neighborhoods in the states No, one's got insulation or soundproofing in their houses either The houses are set right up to the sidewalk or the street So even when you're laying in your bed at night you hear the sirens the horns and the rumbling of traffic It never fails at the crack of dawn. You'll hear those little guys in their push carts yelling mangoes brooms plastic buckets anything and everything So even if you live in the country unless you have your house planted in the center of your acreage With no other houses in sight. You can't escape the noise And on weekends, man Look out latin america almost no matter where you are is alive with the sounds of reggaeton salsa hip-hop And christian preachers with bad pa systems cackling on with distorted speakers telling us the final days are near for years

[22:23] I lived out in the bunnies with enough land and forest around me so that no matter where I was on the land I could not see another house Still there's always some music Wafing through the air not to mention cows mooing roosters crowing etc Oh, and i'll never forget the first time I woke up early in the morning only to see a parade of drums and trumpets People dressed to the tee pushing a big old cart down the road with a giant statue of the virgin mary arms Open wide followed by a flatbed cart with a coffin in it Yep, I looked out the window amazed to see when you're living out in the boonies, especially when someone dies They have a showing of the body in the living room then the whole congregation gets together and walks that body along with the virgin mary

[23:09] Down to the cemetery which could be a couple of miles away. They don't go quietly either There's always a certain amount of whaling But most of the time here in latin america when you see a parade coming up the street You really don't have any idea what they're celebrating Not if you're a gringo or an expat So just a little heads up there if you think Coming down to latin america will be a way of notching down the noise of city life The subways the trains the planes the airports police sirens honking horns Yeah, i'm from chicago so I was dying to get away from those city sounds too Well, it's true some sounds will definitely get notched down with new noises in the mix that are just as irritating Have I told you how much latin americans love their fireworks? How you can buy firecrackers roman candles?

[23:55] Bottle rockets and everything you could think of at any little corner tienda or mini market how there's no restriction on the amount of gun powder They can pack into those things Oh, well just in case you were wondering about how much latinos value peace and quiet. Well, there you have it All right And finally as we near the end of the show I got lots of emails coming in just in the last couple days With lots of you guys and girls commenting on what's been happening in mexico city Distrito federal for example this email I got from anthony in las vegas. He says johnny I was hoping mexico city would be an exception to your general disdain of all things mexico But alas what you've said about other parts of mexico seems to be coming to mexico city as well He says johnny. I instantly thought of you when I saw this and then he sends me a link to a bunch of mexicans in masks

[24:46] Destroying upscale gringo restaurants and hangouts in mexico city. I'm sure most of you have heard it by now It started last friday about a week ago. Talk about the irony of ironies It started last friday when a large group of protesters Mexicans marched in mexico city to protest against the city's status as a hot new residential destination for american expats With some of the demonstrators turning violent and accosting certain american residents and tourists Smashing restaurants banks and other businesses that cater to gringo Mostly the protesters are angered by soaring rents and inflation. They blame on foreigners gringo and expat foreigners Turns out the two neighborhoods in mexico city most loaded with gringos and expats are called condessa and roma

[25:35] the two neighborhoods that are Particularly popular amongst americans living or visiting mexico city You may have seen some of these demonstrations in the news people are holding up signs saying for example Gringo stop stealing our homeland Gringo mexico is for mexicans gringos speak spanish use pesos or get the hell out of here Gringos your new home here is an invasion of ours Gringos you make us feel like foreigners in our own land But the one sign that kills me the most is gringos. We speak spanish here Oh man, could there be more irony could there be a better payback? Oh, they don't like being invaded by other cultures who don't speak their language

[26:22] Isn't that funny by the way the news reports say that a starbucks was amongst the most damaged properties I guess that protest wasn't all bad Oh, and did you see that video that captured protesters screaming at american-looking tourists yelling gringo go home And did you see those graffiti spray paintings that said kill a gringo today? But the biggest irony of all is that all those americans in mexico city being attacked and called out by the protesters all those americans entered mexico Legally and all of those americans are spending their own money in mexico They're not coming to mexico broken destitute with no skills or education They're not looking to drop a kid in mexico so they can get instant citizenship or residency

[27:08] They're not looking to get a job or a leg up enough said about that All right. Finally the other day. I was talking to a gringo lady. She was telling me that she's a really good parent I thought yeah, right. That's what they all say. So I said kind of cynically tell me about it She said I have two kids in high school and neither of them wants to be famous I thought hmm. She's right That is definite proof of good parenting You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b

[27:55] Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com