#951 – The Expat Files: Life, Challenges, and Scams in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you expat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Ah since I mentioned in a show last week that I once played French horn and always had issues with the spit valve problem Even mentioning that for any of you creative and mechanical types You might come up with a little solution for that spit valve problem and make a million bucks or so

[00:48] You remember I mentioned that right? Well, as you may have figured I started receiving a flurry of emails from brass and woodwind players. I knew I would Commenting on the ubiquitous spit valve problem, man. Did I get the emails? I never realized there were so many horns clarinets and oboes Gathering dust and rotting away up in the attic along with that box of Barbies national ampoons mad magazines and slinkies For example, take this email that just came in yesterday. It starts Hi, Johnny been a listener since year one of your podcasts and broadcasts You might even remember me as the guy who told you about the Raspberry Pi a 35 dollar credit card size computer that was around 2011 2012 time frame since then kids around the world have really gotten into using and programming those things

[01:38] Then he says please send me info for locking in a spot for your next seminar Got the cash now to go and only thing now is I need to renew my passport By the way, Johnny Did you hear how the US State Department has shut down the passport office for both new ones and renewals? Is this maybe part of a plan for them to close and lock the gate? While people wise up as to what's really happening. Another thing Johnny I've got my eye on a 41 foot sailboat for use in the Caribbean as my base of operations And since that size boat won't float well up in the Altiplano Perhaps I need to also get a condo up in the Altiplano or the mountains as you suggest Then he says the time is past for me watching out for my family members It's time to get myself going gone

[02:25] That is keep up giving us the wonderful shows Johnny and keep your spit valve towel washed and dried Signed a former fellow Elementary and junior high school cornet baritone and French horn player Bruce Bruce you me and a million other elementary and junior high school kids We all love blowing out a tune didn't we but to do so we all had to ignore the spit valve elephant in the room, huh? Man talk about contaminating the premises. Yeah, right We're allowed to blast a blob of spit anywhere we can kick out of tune Meanwhile, you get a fine or arrested if you don't wear a mask in the grocery store. I don't get it There are so many things wrong so many inconsistencies with this virus stuff though You can bet down the line

[03:11] There'll be tons of books and Hollywood movies coming out all about love death survival and stupidity in the age of corona But to comment on a couple of those things you brought up there Bruce number one the passport thing whether you're trying to get A new one or a renewal. Well strangely enough just two months ago. I applied for a new US passport myself Yes, I am a US citizen amongst others and you know people who are close to me say Johnny When you're gonna renounce your citizenship and I say good idea But doing so is more trouble than it's worth at least for now But as that runaway train gets closer and closer to slamming into that mountain renouncing is always an option but don't even think about it unless you've got all your dough and assets out of the USA and you don't plan on Returning even for a visit anytime soon

[03:58] You know, I think in the near future I'll do a show on the subject after this coronavirus thing There's lots of people who want to get the hell out permanently especially when the mandatory chip and vaccine laws get passed and if you don't think that's coming but soon you Deserve to be vexed and chipped anyway as mentioned two months ago. I applied for a new passport Why not because mine was ready to expire but because all my pages were filled up with stamps So when I got down to the final page and realized there was only four spaces left That'd be like only two more trips in and out of other countries Well, then I jumped on the ridiculously complicated US passport website and of course if you've gone there lately, you know, you can renew your passport completely online But you can only do that if you're living in the States if you're out of the country

[04:46] You got to make an appointment online at the nearest US Embassy or consulate and then gear yourself up for the hours You'll be waiting in line for the cattle call. Now you regular listeners heard me tell a story about two months ago When I went down to the US consulate to get mine renewed You might recall I spoke about being in line there with a very talkative and melodiously repulsive neck tattooed anchor, baby I called for obvious reasons, but not to his face ass-crack pants Anyway, after I went through all that suddenly within a couple of weeks came the corona virus lockdown and all the US embassies closed Until further notice, but as for online stuff, you could still go there and get your business done But with the announcement of the embassy lockdown, I thought hell I'm never gonna get that passport it was supposed to arrive at the address

[05:34] I gave them three weeks later. That was the promise anyway I mean look they make you pay an extra 15 or 20 bucks cash right there for a local courier service to drop it off They no longer let you go in and pick it up in person Unless it's one of those emergency passports You need to get right away because you're traveling and you had the old one stolen So anyway, as you may have figured the corona virus threw a big wrench into that equation I wasn't expecting for it to come at all and there was really no way to call the embassy and get a living person on The phone that never happens. I figured I'd have to wait months So three weeks came no passport then four and so on suddenly I knocked at the door and there stood a little guy with mask and gloves ready to hand me a package It was my new passport. And remember, I'm not in the States

[06:20] I'm in a foreign Latino country and still somehow with the lockdown and curfew Courier services are still delivering stuff So I can imagine up in the states where you can get a renewal or a new passport online Without having to go down to the embassy or the post office or another government agency There should be no problem doing that and get on-time delivery as long as you renew it online So Bruce you should check that up and about that sailboat Bruce Very good idea because as you probably know, there are hundreds of beautiful little marinas up and down the Latin American Caribbean coast Many of them offering complete first-world services with rents by the foot. So cheap It's hard to believe of course I'm talking about marinas that are off the gringo tourist trail now because when you're on the trail

[07:07] Like for example, if you're trying to rent a boat slip in Panama or Costa Rica Including of course the area they call the Mexican Riviera. That'd be Cancun Playa del Carmen Tulum Cozumel, etc. If you want to pay first-world prices, check it out It's the same as if you had a boat slip in my jammy However, if you're looking for a really nice marina off the gringo tourist trail, I have some links and price lists for you I've visited quite a few of them myself Just send me an email the expert files at gmail.com and I'll shoot you the info again I don't know these guys that don't make a cent for referrals It's just that I'd like to see people finally get their plan be going and I'm glad to help you on your mission They get to hell out of dodge. So by all means get your plan be going and come on down But don't move next to me. Okay

[07:55] Promise by the way Bruce They've got some fantastic ultra cheap little marinas on the Caribbean side of Guatemala in a very large protected Waterway known as Rio Dulce. In fact, I've personally always thought of it It's a great base of operations if you were into boating or into living on a boat year-round Now, of course if you have a nice boat You want to hang out at marinas that are very nice and first-world and have all the amenities and you'd think way off the gringo Tourist trail, there wouldn't be much of that. But believe me they're here. All right There are plenty of gringos and expats who are living on their boats a lot of them down in Rio Dulce In fact, the last time I took a trip through that area. I saw a ton of boats and some huge yachts Sporting Canadian flags, you know the red maple leaf talk about a long sea voyage, huh?

[08:41] So do check out the Rio Dulce. That's RIO Dulce on the Caribbean side of Guatemala. Oh and by the way at my expat insider seminars I always talk a bit about those little marinas those hidden gems now Of course if you're coming down to the seminar and you add a couple of extra days Then you can visit a few of those marinas yourself. It can be arranged Rita my number one seminar coordinator and logistics lady will help you out and arrange the whole thing for you Oh, and again, just a little plug here My next expat insider seminar will take place from Friday August 21st through Thursday night August 27 I should have the seminar information and sign-up sheet ready within a couple of days to check it out Just go to expat plan be calm and click on the seminar link

[09:26] And you know with all these travel restrictions and the fact that the world's financial system is teetering and whether you like it or not The reset button's been pushed, you know, this very well could be my last seminar Who knows how this thing's gonna play out over the next couple of months even years That's to say if you think things are gonna get better and not worse up where you live Then you really are living in a fantasy world though at least now little by little countries are opening up But if anyone thinks things are gonna get back to normal, forget about it I can only hope that most of you are somewhere along on your plan B because you know If this crisis hasn't given you a wake-up call, sorry to say but maybe you do deserve your spot on the Titanic Meanwhile, you've heard me say many times that gringos and expats have to be aware of scams

[10:14] When they come down to Latin America countries, especially where the gringos have piled in sometimes the biggest scammers of all are gringos themselves Gringos who've been down a while gringos down on their luck but can speak Spanish So they found their way to worm into newbie gringo expats lives cuz they know when you first arrive You don't know many people and you don't know much about anything for the first couple of months You're wearing rose-colored glasses and you're vulnerable So these gringo scammers offer all kinds of services and help for free initially With their real aim down the line is to get you involved in some kind of real estate deal That turns out to be a scam I can't tell you how many gullible gringos I've seen that happen to and the craziest thing of all about that scenario Is that most of these so-called quote clueless gringos were not at all clueless

[11:03] In fact, we're very astute back in their home country How do you think they became successful enough to come down to a place like Costa Rica and do some investing? Somehow they left their BS detectors back in Cleveland I don't know what it is could be the air the palm trees the brilliant night sky with millions of crystal clear stars You never see back home in Milwaukee I don't know what it is But so many gringos and expats leave their BS detectors back home and that's probably the number one or number two reason a good percentage of people who do come down to Latin America permanently or so they think end up going back to Denver with their tail between their legs and Probably reason number two why gringos end up going back home again. Is that they just don't adapt or don't want it with that They remain inflexible without much considering the new environment

[11:51] They've been dropped into and that again is one of the reasons why so many gringos and expats end up piling into gringoized areas like Panama and Costa Rica They just don't feel comfortable unless they're around a lot of other gringos in the same boat It's kind of hard to explain but you get to understand it thoroughly once you've been down here a couple of years Which brings me to this letter posted by a gringo expat talking about his Dissatisfaction with Latin America and what he did about it and how it all ended up again I'll paraphrase and cut out the boring parts boring to me that is So he starts by saying I've talked to many people and I've read a number of articles explaining why people become expats I've also seen articles on why expats decide to move back home usually to the US or Canada after they've been in Latin America

[12:40] Wow, as for me I was one of those who wanted to continue being an expat but also wanted to try out a number of countries But that's not the end of the story He says when my wife and I decided to leave the US for good We narrowed our choices down to Spain and Ecuador I'd spent most of a year in Europe in my early 20s Backpacking through it taking college classes, etc. So I knew something about Europe Then he says the wife and I had done our research and we visited for a short time Anyway, both Spain and Ecuador before we made our final decision We chose Ecuador and were satisfied our decision was the right one So we settled into our new life there made friends Developed new interests and I continued doing my software development work on a part-time basis So we had a decent income too

[13:26] That was important because we're not of retirement age and don't have pensions or social security to count on now Even though I found Ecuador a great place to live. I couldn't get Europe out of my mind I was thinking I was missing out on all that great Western culture that me and the wife were a product of Western culture not Latin American culture and I'd probably or we'd probably be more comfortable in Europe Not to mention I had this certain idyllic version of Europe partly because of my time spent there as a college student I remembered those sidewalk cafes cheap wine easy travel between countries to the great cultural centers of the world and a way of life more in line with what me and my wife had been Accustomed to before we moved to Latin America so after spending two years in Latin America my thoughts focused more and more on Spain and

[14:17] My yearning for Europe grew to the point that one day I suggested to the wife that we just move on she of course was reluctant at first but she's an adventurer at heart and so agreed to go and After going through the usual bureaucratic castles to qualify to live in Europe We chose a small town a few miles north of Magala Spain and rented a picturesque cottage The town had just what we wanted outdoor cafes cheap wine close to a big city and Magala is a gorgeous city though Terribly hot in the summer Oh well So we proceeded to drink the wine make the trips to the great European cities and took in the culture that I thought I Was missing in Ecuador, but here's the rub almost from the beginning. I felt things weren't right

[15:02] It was not the idyllic Europe. I remembered from my college days I had not paid enough attention to the European immigration problem and the very high level of unemployment in Spain I quickly became aware of a deep sense of despair and anger with the locals in the community Many of the people who live there had been laid off from factory jobs that closed years earlier And most had not found new jobs at all These were people who had known good standards of living for years But we're now among the ranks of the poor on top of that Our new digs were broken into two times in less than a year And then my wife was mugged just off the town square though. Fortunately not badly hurt Of course, I realized crime happens everywhere or in Ecuador too, but I felt that in Spain

[15:47] It was part of a downward spiral of hopelessness and that would probably get worse We also sensed with the locals and animosity towards foreigners something we never experienced in Ecuador And I realized something even more serious Europe is in decline though. Most people there refused to accept that and There's nothing in sight that'll change it. It's going down It's true. The standard of living in Spain is much higher than in Ecuador But it's heading down and the signs are very visible Then there's that immigration problem Statistics now show that traditional Europeans will be a small minority of the population within a couple of generations Would that be the kind of place my wife and I would like to live? I don't want to get into the non-pc details

[16:34] But the immigrant problem in Europe is huge and rapidly changing the entire culture There seems to be no plans at all to handle it and there's very little interest on the part of immigrants to assimilate Ironically despite Europe's decline I found it to be overrun with tourists to the point it negatively affects the lives of locals And the nature of tourism is that people are only there for a short time so they don't see the effects of the immigration problem They're just there to see the sights and enjoy the old world culture And after a couple of weeks of that, they're back at home again I have noticed that French and Spanish newspapers are filled with opinion pieces Decrying the fact that Europe is dying becoming a museum even a mausoleum But the wife and I did not want to give up entirely on Europe

[17:21] We tried out two quaint towns in Italy for example one in Tuscany and the other near Rome We found the mood there as well as a crime even worse than in Spain Though just like in Spain we made some friends there and heard the tales of whoa how the locals longed for how things used to be Then about that same time the laptop that replaced the one that was stolen in Spain was stolen in Italy So I had to buy yet another So after all that the wife and I decided last December to move back to Ecuador And even though we have to repeat the arduous process of getting residency again We know we made the right choice and we know despite its many problems We miss the people the smiles and the sense of optimism in that country

[18:08] Which is on the rise and not declining as with Europe Meanwhile some of our gringo friends said we didn't give Europe a chance that we didn't try out places outside of Spain in Italy They're right to a point However, we spent several months in France Germany UK and Belgium too and I saw the same despair I saw in Spain and Italy I also saw huge numbers of immigrants looking for a better life that will never come it doesn't exist for them So anyway, I'm back in Ecuador and when people ask me why I don't give them the long boring story I just tell them it's because the people are truly happy and optimistic and you can see it in their smiles All right me Johnny here I just thought I'd read that little letter to you because I'm always getting emails from people saying Johnny What about Europe for a plan B? What about Portugal? What about Spain? What about Italy?

[18:58] What about those Eastern European countries Romania, Montenegro, Armenia, etc, etc They're supposed to be beautiful and insanely cheap Well, I hope now you can see why I vastly prefer Latin America Even with the corona virus things will calm down here And in fact, they're calming down already things are loosening up people are going outside a little bit more Of course, no one's hugging and doing the Latin American kissy face thing. Not yet But we can expect within a month Most things will change a lot for the better as far as you know Traveling and gatherings on the other hand people's finances are being destroyed economies are being destroyed There are no government bailout packages for Latin America and people here except for that five to ten percent of gringo wannabes With their high-end gym memberships bodyguards and they're entitled bubble kids going to those bilingual helicopter schools

[19:45] Well, they're the ones who are really gonna be in trouble because nearly all of them according to my friends who work at banks here They're in debt from their a-holes to their ear holes That's why the up-and-coming real estate bust is a sure thing and in a few months, man If you got the cash, you'll be able to name your price even before the corona thing and every major city there were thousands of high-end houses and condos for sale and Thousands under construction. I'm guessing all the high-end real estate the ones listed in glossy monthly real estate magazines You see everywhere. Well, I'd say within a half a year or so You should be able to get properties like that for 50 to 25 cents on the dollar In fact, I just talked to a real estate agent yesterday He said he's got something like 200 properties listed himself and they haven't done a single walk-through in two months

[20:33] And they normally have one or two showings each day Why because sellers are afraid of the virus thinking when a prospective buyer and their family walks through the virus will be hitchhiking along So what would you think if you were a realtor? You got to eat too and you don't get a salary you earn your money through commissions So here's what I see happening and I proposed this to the realtor and he reluctantly agreed I said look don't you think as the weeks and months roll on and nobody's coming through houses? Realtors will advise their clients to drop their prices dramatically at least planting the idea that they should take anything they can get It's obvious. There are tons of sellers and very few buyers and the banks They won't make any loans unless you have at least 20% down with no one working and businesses not open Who's got that kind of cash and even if you have 20% down

[21:20] How you gonna qualify for a bank loan if you're an employee and your incomes uncertain or if you're a business owner and you've got No customers cash will be king at least for a while In fact, I can't see banks making home loans at all unless they're 100% backed up by government And if that happens look out because here comes that inflation monster So that's my take on the real estate situation not only Latin America, but all over the world and you know This crisis is that exact reason why you should have been working very very hard To get completely out of debt But really how many people do you know who are in that situation everybody? I know up in the states all my friends my relatives etc. They have got home loans car loans second and third mortgages Credit card debt personal loans school loans and more

[22:07] so they're now Seems like most everyone I know up in the states if one month goes by and they don't get a paycheck They're in panic mode because they know they're screwed However, I think that most people that listened to this show figured it out a long time ago You knew the government and all the usual suspect talking heads relying to you And it was just a matter of time before the titanic hit that iceberg So it could be 50 or more of you who listened into this program are ready You're out of debt and you're already somewhere along on your plan B Whereas as you probably figured out already about 95 percent of the rest of the world Could not last a month without a paycheck But I digress as usual, you know earlier I was talking about scams and how gringos and expats are prime targets

[22:54] Especially when they go to a latin country that's gringified like panama or costa rica Well, since I was just talking about ecuador allow me to paraphrase this little article It's sure to piss you off But at least since we're talking about it you'll be fully aware of it Thus you'll see the signs and it probably won't happen to you. All right, here it is Title of this article is and it comes out of ecuador as mentioned Catholic priest is on trial for stealing an elderly woman's home and putting her out on the street It starts by saying a three judge panel will be ruling friday whether a catholic priest defrauded a 76 year old woman of her home Where she lived in quenca ecuador in addition to the priest three others are accused in the case including a former notary slash lawyer Then it says according to her attorney erica

[23:39] Peralta turned to her catholic priest identified as father angel Yeah, right. He certainly was she turned him for help due to a disability and he provided assistance All right He took her to a notary where she was persuaded to sign documents selling her home to one of the accused members for nine grand far less than the property's fair value court documents revealed the sale was an act of deceit by the priest and his friends and Took advantage of the older lady's lack of legal knowledge and her physical condition That according to her attorney who was handling the case pro bono Then it says the priest also took advantage of the woman's strong belief in god and her catholic faith and her lifelong trust in priests And the clergy well, she did that. All right, but she paid dearly for it

[24:26] So anyway, the deal was cut and she was left homeless after the sale And she lives today in a wooden lien to that lacks plumbing and electricity Photos of her living arrangements were displayed in court So then what of the nine grand she was supposed to receive as of now? No one's talking though friends did testify that father angel was a priest with the salacian order who also after the deal was made Took money from her saying he promised to provide support for her after she sold her home Bottom line the priest and his cronies took everything and left her alone and on the streets after the deal was done All right, me johnny here. I know that happened to a local not a gringo or an expat but If you think that can't happen to you or one of your relatives because you're a first world gringo and smarter than that

[25:15] Yeah, right. Keep saying that to yourself. Let me tell you a little story that happened in my own family Now over the years i've told a lot of stories, but I don't think I told this one before You see when my grandma died, she was something like 96 years old She owned a huge farm and finally when the dust settled and the will was red She was worth well over a million bucks Now the kicker was she gave over half of that to her local catholic church And my parents and aunts and uncles were irate. How'd that happen? Well, i'll tell you how here's what they found out In the last two or three years of her life not too many people would go and visit her She lived alone in front of the farm and had other workers run in the place Anyway, her 10 living kids. She had 11 rarely came out to visit her not in those last few years

[26:01] Anyway, but surprise surprise The catholic parish priest did and he brought cake and cookies They had a little coffee clutch going every week Part of his job as it turned out was making the rounds to a lot of old widowed ladies With large estates and or big bank accounts and naturally an old lady who doesn't get many visits from her own Kid will be quite moved by a nice young priest who comes by every week to share stories Give a blessing and shoot the breeze with him. What a ploy, huh? In a way, you know, it was karma though, not quite sincere nor ethical but perfectly legal and nothing anyone could do about it Though man i'll tell you at the reading of the will my parents and aunts and uncles were they pissed And as far as me and the rest of the grandkids, I mean we're 56 of us at the time

[26:46] We never expected to be in her will but we were we each got five maybe 10 grand if you could believe that Oh and get this each one of us 56 grandkids got a birthday and christmas present from her every year, too Sometimes five or ten bucks and sometimes some hand knitted doilies She wasn't big on small talk and we certainly didn't like to kiss her but she was a good soul So anyway in the case of my grandmother the priest wasn't an out and out cheater a fraud I mean he was a lot more subtle than that. Yep He had a tried and true plan and i'm sure he didn't make it up himself the moral of the story Beware of clean-cut young men with funny collars bearing gifts of milk and cookies, but there's a corollary to that Visit your grandma often even if her house smells like a moldy cupboard and you don't like to kiss her

[27:32] You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com nos vemos