#977 – The Expat Files: Legal Marijuana, Bribes, Taxes, and Climate Change in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started So how about a little marijuana story people like to hear those kind of stories, right? You know here in Latin America marijuana has grown everywhere and it's so so cheap then again It's really amazing that it's not really legal yet except in Uruguay

[00:47] But I understand there you can't really grow it and smoke it You got to buy it at a registered dispensary or pharmacy though. It is true in almost every Latin country It's been decriminalized and even if the criminalization hasn't exactly been legislated yet The cops view it that way and of course a lot of countries are coming online right now with legislation to legalize it But that probably won't happen for some months or years and Mexico is right on the forefront with that and man When it's legal in Mexico look out it will be a good thing for the world in the US But it will not be a good thing for expats and gringos living in Mexico Nor will it be good for regular Mexican citizens because the narcos make lots of money off the marijuana trade and when it's gone Well, you think those narcos are gonna get real jobs

[01:34] Yeah, right. Instead. They're gonna get more violent In fact, we're seeing the signs of more violence and shakedowns in Mexico right now because you see legalized marijuana in the state It says put a big dent into their business So now they've moved on to the extortion business in a big way extortion in the beer and tequila business Extortion in the oil and avocado business that means more and more extortions of gringo tourists to naturally and of course Extortion at the small business level the mom-and-pop business as well as some of the really big businesses, too The fact is anyone who's got legitimate trucks on the road whether it's water fuel even coke and Pepsi delivery They're getting extorted every day In fact, they're used to it and in fact practically every medium and large-sized Mexican business that's got trucks or cars on the road has an

[02:21] Extortion fund in other words when they do their yearly fiscal planning they plan on a certain amount of extortion money That would be reason 2456 seven and eight why you don't want to live work play and or have a business in Mexico Wait a minute. I take that back playing is okay As long as you're down for a week or two on one of those kind of cool package deals That's always cool, but to actually do any business or have any assets there Well in order to put up with that I'd say you either have to be a very big risk taker a gambler an optimist on steroids or just plain nuts But you knew that already right well some of you certainly don't because I'm still getting emails from people in Mexico saying Johnny How come you're so down on Mexico? No, let's see. Well, I guess you could say for one

[03:06] I don't like hearing random gunshots in my neighborhood and this in a place where it's almost Impossible to get a gun legally nor do I like hearing reports every single day of people getting mugged and extorted Call me a coward call me chicken shit guilty as charged. But where are we? Oh, yeah, the marijuana story Well as mentioned throughout Latin America marijuana is not exactly legal not yet except in little Uruguay in fact since government got involved a couple years back and did make it legal and Since governments can't seem to do anything right people living there Tell me the delivery system is so bogged down and loaded up with red tape and bureaucracy You're better off just growing a couple of plants in your backyard Even though that's technically illegal, but Uruguay aside, you know with this covid off and on lockdown and such

[03:55] You find here in Latin America since everyone loves to be outside you know Latin society is a much more outdoors type of society simply because of the weather and Because Latino society is a very very social society people just love getting together That means there are still lots of yard and house parties almost always without masks and social distancing, too So last Sunday just a couple of days ago. I got invited to a spontaneous house party So last Sunday there I was in the living room sitting on the couch Talking to an expat gringo friend who has been living in Panama now, I think six years now this guy I like a lot of gringos and expat boomers enjoys the occasional doobie and apparently unbeknownst to me He had just ordered some marijuana about an hour and a half before I got there

[04:43] So you might ask how do you order marijuana? Well turns out Latinos and gringos and expats have their connections, right? And this guy told me and it's news to me There are lots and lots of marijuana delivery services one-stop shop door-to-door and you connect with them through What's up on your smartphone? So I said explain it to me and he proceeded to show me a contact on his what's-up page a guy named Junior And if you're familiar with what's up, you know, everybody posts a picture everyone except me that is So anyway with Junior's picture He's standing with his arm around his wife and he's got a little kid at his knee With the telltale sign being the giant spliff in his mouth. So anyway my gringo buddy Alan He'd placed an order for a delivery about an hour and a half before I got to the party

[05:30] Meanwhile, we're sitting on the couch and Alan says to me Johnny. I don't know what happened to Junior. He's supposed to be here He's late and that's how I found out about this junior guy My gringo buddy Alan was getting slightly agitated the guy hadn't shown up yet. Alan said it's not like him He usually arrives within a half an hour. Then again, this is Latin America where manana time prevails But Alan said no, not this guy when it comes to making a few bucks. He's always on time He didn't call so Alan thought his motorcycle broke down You see as it turns out all these little marijuana delivery guys do it by motorcycle So Alan sent him a few what's up messages and still Junior didn't answer Meanwhile as the party in the conversation rambled on we changed topics probably 20 times Almost every conversation having to do with the rise and fall of the good old US of a finally

[06:21] There's a knock on the door. Alan goes to answer it Let's a short Latino guy in sporting a motorcycle helmet The pudgy kid grabbed the chair opened up his fanny pack pulls out about ten little white plastic balls Each one the size of a robin's egg or one of those jumbo jawbreakers Remember those and then Alan paid him 15 bucks Yep 15 US greenbacks because we happen to be in Panama They use US dollars there and that includes pocket change Except there are two kinds of pocket change in Panama US coins as you might imagine since that's their currency and coins That are the same size as US coins, but they're called Balboa's That's what the old obsolete paper funny money used to be called to Balboa's But they don't have dead presidents or former slave owners on them

[07:08] They've got the Spanish conquistador Balboa who discovered the Pacific Ocean if you remember your geography and history Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I take that back. He was worse than a slave owner He was a slave capturer not of African slaves He'd capture Central American indigenous tribes and enslave them. Oh, and by the way Here's an interesting little note about Balboa Which will certainly ensure that his days will be numbered on the pan-american coins and currency of any kind Get this according to spanish royal records He managed to collect a great deal of gold mostly stolen from native women and from indigenous royalty through violence In fact, he was always searching for gold and slaves Now if that isn't enough for the SJWs of the world to want to remove him from all the history books

[07:55] Wipe his ugly mug off of all the coins and topple all the statues Listen to this according to catholic archives a priest named peter martyred dejangeira a religious contemporary of balboa's who wrote a chronology of that time He wrote how balboa had fed 40 local indigenous homosexual men to his dogs You could say he was a bit of a homophobe. In fact, here's a telling quote from that chronology quote A brother of a local indigenous king and some other men Obliging men who dressed effeminently in women's clothing went too far with the unnatural for balboa's tastes So he fed 40 of them to the dogs and if that isn't nasty enough get this and this is another quote

[08:41] Only spanish nobles and gentlemen practiced that kind of desire The indigenous people of the new world knew that sodomy gravely offended god But practiced it anyway So back then it was okay if you were a nobleman, but if you were a local indigenous native american Well, you were food for the dogs So then you might ask our enraged social justice warrior latinos pulling down balboa statues and they're everywhere and melting down All those millions of coins in a word No By the way, he had an untimely death when francisco pizarro, you know another genocidal maniac spanish can kiss the door When he arrived he had balboa beheaded for treason on orders from the queen of spain Yeah, you know in those days no internet. No tv. No radio. No smartphone

[09:30] I could be heading always brought out the picnicers But I digress. Where were we? Oh, yeah So this weed delivery guy shows up two and a half hours late And my gringo friend alan said what took you so long now? Here's the part that could only happen in latin america He said there was a big congested roadblock where cops Were giving out tickets to people who were not obeying the recent rule to drive on alternate days Depending on the last number of your license plate. He said for once I couldn't do evasive maneuvers I got stuck in that line the cops were walking back and forth checking numbers on the plates and his plate number didn't match for that day So the cop asked him for his driver's license and he didn't have one Which by the way seems to be the case throughout latin america with more than 50 percent of motorcyclists

[10:16] Either not having a license at all or having one that's expired They can get away with it because they're almost never stopped by the cops when they see a roadblock They just keep on going because they know the cops won't chase them And at other times they just take a side street when they see cops up ahead In fact i've seen them jump curbs and go down the sidewalk in the opposite direction only in latin america So the cop asked him for his license and he lied and said he left it at home He said normally without a license. They let you slide or try to extort 10 or 20 bucks out of you However, this time he figured the cops spotted him out as a moto weed deliverer Why not? Eventually these guys get known to the cops and everyone else. I mean they're on what's up Anyway, they instantly shook him down went into his pockets and found the weed and the cops said you're going to jail

[11:02] So he gave him 10 bucks and the cop kept his weed So then the little delivery guy had to go all the way back home pick up another load of weed and make the trip again Then expat ellen said you didn't take the same road back Did you and the guy said why not? There was no problem They just waved me right through though He did say he hid the bag of weed under his gas tank just to be safe But he also said he wasn't worried about the cops anymore as he said and i've seen this before myself Once you've paid a bribe to a cop suddenly he treats you like his best friend Now, you know, I meet johnny I've paid a number of bribes over the years to cops myself And almost every time when it's over and you part not only will he most likely shake your hand He'll give you a man hug though. Maybe not so much in the age of covet

[11:50] Hey, i've had cops give me their street address and their phone number I'm talking about cops that shook me down for a bribe You've heard me say this before but the farther you're off the gringo tourist trail The more likely latinos will want to be friends with you Even cops who shake you down will want to be friends with you though Remember one thing the farther you are off the gringo tourist trail the smaller the bribes are Though don't expect to get off easy in mexico. That ain't going to happen Somehow there the cops are completely off the rails if you offer them 10 or 20 bucks They'll laugh at you in mexico. The cops are very serious about their bribes Meanwhile south of south of the border, you know as you pass on through guatemala and part south 10 or 20 bucks man. The cops are super happy with that and so are we right? I mean look just a crappy parking ticket in new york or chicago or l.a will cost you 50 even 100 bucks

[12:41] Wouldn't you just love to be able to give 10 or 20 bucks to a meter maid and say? Look, here's a sawbuck for your time. Take the kids to mcdonald's but as you know, that's never gonna happen Oops, sorry little faux pas there. Someone told me I think it was my brother. You're not allowed to say meter maid anymore Well, I guess then capital records is gonna have to scratch that song off the beetle sergeant pepper album Remember that one lovely rita meter maid According to the lunatic sjw standards of the day that would be sexist and not allowed man I don't know how you guys and gals can take it Though I know from your emails to me lots and lots of you are getting your ducks in order to get the hell out of dodge The thing is you want to get your ass and your assets out of dodge before uncle slam slams the door

[13:26] And it is happening, you know little by little as you'll hear right now There's a new development to punish black sheep expats who dare to leave? Oops another faux pas. You gotta be kidding me Black sheep. That's a microaggression, huh? You know, I don't give a No, sjw is gonna tell me how to formulate my bad sentences Nope said about that. Anyway in regards to putting up barriers on getting your ass and your assets out of dodge Comes this email from an expat insider seminar alumnus dave who's now living in guatemala He says johnny. I had originally thought of moving my social security direct deposits to a guatemalan bank But I thought better of it now Now i'm hearing that the us congress is planning to impose a general special tax to anyone who leaves the us

[14:14] Specifically taxes on any money that leaves the state's banks and heads for another country So by keeping my social security in a us bank and maintaining a us address I think I might be able to avoid those taxes which appear to be a sure thing after the elections And johnny the original reason for me not moving my social security direct deposits to guatemala Was that the social security administration sends anyone with a check going abroad a letter every six months Which the recipient needs to respond to on a short-term basis And if you don't you get that letter that says they're going to stop your check So you lose that month's check and getting that back is a hassle Anyway, johnny if you've got any ideas on how to avoid what's coming next i'd appreciate it

[15:02] Well, thanks for that dave And you know what dave the us congress has been threatening to do that for years now That is threatening to put a tax on money going out of the country and landing in foreign accounts So dave if that discussion has been on the table for all these years, why do you think it hasn't been passed so far? Well, that's because dave Three-quarters of the products that used to be made in the united states are made now in vietnam. China, indonesia, india Mexico, south america, etc, etc And that would mean dave that all these big mega transnational corporations would have to pay taxes when they send money Back and forth to their gigantic subsidiaries throughout the world So naturally when certain congressmen try to push a bill like that there's massive lobbying against it because all the big transnationals would have to pay

[15:54] Those taxes and we're talking about hundreds of billions of dollars outflowing to foreign corporations and banks and other entities Now dave that's not to say right after the elections. They won't push a lot of crazy debilitating taxes through They'll certainly have to do something because the economy is destroyed The u.s is entirely broke and in such debt Congress is going to be looking to tax the shit out of everyone and everything including if they can Your doghouse and the cockroaches living under your sink. But here's the thing dave social security and disability payments Have always been somewhat untouchable Politicians know if they mess with social security, they don't get reelected not to mention you've got Aarp if you're a retired old fart, you know who those guys are They've got massive lobbying power in congress

[16:41] They've got the force of millions of retired baby boomers behind them and they claim if you read their literature They will lobby that bill to death. However, if it does get passed and anything's possible They just might do what lots of countries including some latin american countries like the dominican republic have done Those sneaky bastards they put a point one five percent tax on all The transfers that come into banks in their country So then how will that affect social security and disability recipients that are getting direct deposits in foreign countries? Well, the number that's being tossed around in congress is a point one to point one five percent tax So suppose to make the numbers easy you get a thousand dollars a month deposited from social security to your bank in costa rica

[17:26] Well point one five percent of a thousand dollars is a dollar fifty You got it a dollar fifty tax on a grant. That means if you're getting double that two thousand a month It's three dollars a month. You'll be taxed So bottom line is it really worth it to open up a bank account in the united states to receive your social security direct deposit or your Disability check whatever just to avoid a tax of a dollar and a half to three dollars every month I don't think so because those are the numbers they're talking about Now for example, if they were talking about three to five percent tax That would be a thirty to fifty dollar tax for every thousand dollars wired out of the country Now that would hurt but for now for what I can see If those lying magnetists pestilent thieves in congress ever get around to passing that tax

[18:14] It's going to be fought tooth and nail by aarp and other retirement groups And even if it does pass with the numbers they're talking about it will be less than the fee That's charged when you pull a thousand bucks out of an atm machine So as bad as it sounds and I hate taxes more than anyone or I should say I don't hate the taxes themselves It's just that the taxes are basically thievery. It's the government continuously picking your pocket Taking your money lowering your standard of living so they could fight unjust wars Bail out their cronies and buddies and banks and industry and support a totally lard ass inefficient bureaucracy So personally i'm not against taxes. I'm just against legalized theft Oh, and there's another really good reason why if you get social security or disability You should have it direct deposit into a foreign bank

[19:00] That's of course provided you've already gotten out of dodge and have got that plan be well underway The reason is if you have your money in a us bank or deposit into a us bank your federal state local government The irs are practically any court or us lawyer Can lock up your bank account in some cases with just a phone call whereas once your money lands in a foreign bank As long as that bank doesn't have a branch in the u.s. They can't touch it for love or money But you knew that already, right? Oh and by the way as far as being able to live a nice first world style life on just a social security or disability check Let's say 1500 a month Well, as long as you don't have a house or a car payment You can absolutely live a first world lifestyle here in latin america as long as you're not on the gringo tourist trail And if you are on the tourist trail food and lots of other things are very cheap, but rent will kill you

[19:51] For example when you're off the gringo tourist trail, you can get a really nice apartment for around 500 bucks a month But when you're on the tourist trail, that might cost you 1500 and there goes that social security check, right? Take me for example I'm a single guy and I can easily live on 1500 bucks a month But then again, i'm not a booze drinker And of course i'm not counting all the trips I take but if I was living in one particular place all the time I don't think I could spend more than 1500 bucks a month Though again, if I had a car or a house payment or boat then 1500 wouldn't cut it But just rent and expenses man, if you're off the gringo tourist trail 1500 will do you fine And if you're a couple i'd say on 2000 or 2500 a month that'll work fine, too Meaning you'll never have to load the pantry up with mac and cheese hamburger helper or google 101 ways to prepare cat food

[20:41] Though I do know some gringos and expats who have a thing for mac and cheese and hamburger helper Just don't invite me for dinner. Okay So anyway bottom line dave as far as taxing outgoing social security and disability payments to a foreign bank I'm a hundred percent sure after the elections. We're gonna see drastic measures drastic taxes An extreme real estate bust with deflation at first and then inflation like we've never seen before With permanent business closures and job destruction beyond what anyone can imagine That's why you've got to think about getting that plan b going to get out of dodge And the best way to get a massive head start come on down to my january 2021 Expat insider seminar now instead of going over the benefits of the seminar one more time

[21:26] Just go to expat plan b.com and click on the seminar link. It's all there for you to review Sign up while you can get in on the early bird discounts because i'm limiting it to 25 people All right. Now we have an email from another expat insider seminar attendee One dollar not his real name, of course It's a good one though. I've read emails from him before they're always interesting Anyway, he attached an article to his email and says this johnny Here's an article for you talking about guadamalans leaving for the us Because of drought and climate change can't grow stuff here They say is there any validity to this article sign one dollar? You know one ever since I came to latin america 30 years ago Even back then the local media tv radio of which I was part of the latin american radio scene since about 1998

[22:17] Way back then they were talking about climate change droughts floods Etc, etc With the news always focusing on a sad looking farmer and his family in a burnt out or flooded field Most often it was a field of burnt out corn the staple down here for tortillas and such The fact is one it's the small mom and pop farmers that are always highlighted not these gigantic farm industry players who know Exactly what they're doing. Yep. It's a small guy that rolls the dice every year and a lot of times he loses The question is how come you never hear about the big sugar producers the big pineapple avocado and banana guys They're not in the news complaining yet They continue to export to the entire world and in some countries the number one export tropical flowers and roses

[23:02] You never hear in the news about climate change affecting them So then why do the big guys continue to thrive and survive? It's because they're not throwing the dice. They grow their crops scientifically and they're heavily mechanized and some heavy into chemicals, too Though not all of them many organic farmers here, too But recognize this if you take a car and drive through honduras guatemala mexico any latin country You'll see gigantic farms with huge amounts of produce and then you'll see little truck farmers little patches of farmland On hillsides and slopes that don't look like they're able to support much that they can be farmed But they are and all the good land the big boy transnationals have it the flat land the easily cultivated land And the little guys have always been eking out a living throwing the dice every year farming on the marginal stuff

[23:53] But here's the thing when you look at those gigantic industrial farms, they're heavily mechanized Meanwhile, the little guy with just a couple acres most of them still do everything by hand. They don't even have a tractor It's all manual labor the way they've been doing it for hundreds of years And when they get a bad year or two, man, they suffer So what do they do or mostly what do their kids do? They head for the big city or throw the dice in another way and sneak into the u.s And it's not always because things are tough on the farm It's that they want to be where the action is in the big cities or head north the land of milk and honey el Sueno amaricano the un-american dream. So let me just repeat once again The big farmers the ones that are shipping to the states like chili one of their top exports is wine I'm sure you've had it same with argentina along with beef and soybeans

[24:40] They're massive highly mechanized businesses speaking of grapes for wine. They're very fragile So you should have heard of in the news about vineyards being destroyed by climate change, right? How about almost never and bananas, pineapples, coffee? Occasionally you'll hear about a new pest or a fungus but you don't hear about climate change wiping those fields out So i've got a question for you How come you see the little mom and pop guy anguishing over his crap and the big guys never do? Because the little guys don't have good land. They don't have science or mechanization That means they're virtually 100 at the mercy of the elements So if it's really true that guadamalans and other latin americans are leaving in great numbers because of climate change I say come on down get in a car and take a ride out in the boonies

[25:27] You'll see pineapple cocoa sugar coffee bananas coconut and avocado plantations, etc, etc As far as the eye can see all of course on nice fertile level land So then what about all the hills valleys and mountains in latin america? Well, those are farmed too. They're subdivided and subdivided and further subdivided into postage stamp sized lots And you know what? I swear every gringo i've been out in the boonies with has said to me at one time or another How in the hell do they farm that stuff? That's land for goats not crops But still mom and pop farmers are slugging away at it same way. They've been doing for hundreds of years All horse and manpower. So why don't you do it? Come on down and rent a car. You'll see exactly what I mean Then we'll sit down and have a discussion about climate change now. I'm not saying climate change isn't happening

[26:16] What i'm saying is 80 to 90 percent of small farmers are on marginal land always been on marginal land They're very poor and barely squeaked by rolling the dice against nature every year But they do have an escape valve at least the adolescents and young adults do That is head north on that big trek to meet up with uncle tulio He must be doing all right for the past couple of years He's been sending back a hundred bucks a month religiously you get the picture now I'm no fan at all of industrial farming But they've got plenty of industrial sized organic farms here, too In fact, there's a couple of nice big organic farms right outside antigua guatemala We always visit a couple of them at the expat insider seminar They've got on-site organic restaurants, too with everything the restaurants serve grown right there

[27:05] Yet you never hear those organic farm owners complaining about climate change Why because they're up on the latest science on how to grow things if you come to the seminar You'll see all that with your own eyes Oh, and one of those organic farms has an excellent deal going you donate four hours That is work on that farm for four hours and at the end of the day You can take home as much organic produce as you can carry so bring along a couple of jumbo shopping bags. What a deal, huh? You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america

[27:50] Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b. Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com No spamos