#1464 – The Expat Files: Life in Latin America, Relationships, and Cultural Insights

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Right today. We're doing the show on the road out and about and as you probably surmise the mic sounds a little dead It's a portable mic and that's what you get when you're on the road Anyway, I got a feces load of emails to go through if you know what I mean

[00:49] So let's start out with a real killer dealer from Luther He says Johnny. I've been living in Latin America for about six years now twice divorced single guy 56 years old when I first got down First off Johnny. I think you're gonna get this email and say I can't read this one on the air it'll piss off half your audience namely the women in your audience because I'm gonna talk about a Taboo subject the differences between American girls Latina girls and sex All right. All right me Johnny here Luther. What makes you think I'm not gonna talk about sex on this show Just the fact that you say I'm probably not gonna read this makes me want to read it even more So here goes Luther goes on to say as for me when I lived up in the US

[01:35] I went through two nasty divorces, which kind of wrecked me financially Was one of the things though that gave me a big push to get the hell out of dodge He says first off, I guess you could describe me as a player high school college athlete man about town Lots of girlfriends lots of dates two marriages lots of sex and I thought Johnny being a popular guy with the women a Couple of marriages and so many girlfriends later I had the lady sort of figured out at least by the time I hit 50 Of course, I'm talking about American women now boy was I wrong You know that old saying that you may have heard from your mother Await to a man's heart is through his stomach Well, that sounds nice and quaint and fine but the truth is the weight to a man's heart is through his dick and

[02:21] With all my experience as a younger man a player I can vouch for the fact that every American woman knows that fact and that's how the world is run That's how we get manipulated. That's how the first world is run And that's why I'm writing this email Johnny because once I got to Latin America, I realized Latina is the majority of them. Anyway, the ones that aren't choppy adores gold diggers Aren't really thinking about how to use sex to manipulate a guy. They seem to have a different attitude towards sex Latinas I found are Unlike American girls because they're not using sex to manipulate men Choppies choppy adores being the exception to the rule. What I'm saying is very simple Latinas like sex

[03:08] For sex sake, of course, like most every normal person they're particular about who they want to have sex with But they don't use it as a tool to manipulate Not like most North American girls and it didn't take me long to find that out You heard me say I've had my plan be going in Latin America for the past six years Well, Johnny in that time, I've had a few affairs and some steady Latina girlfriend And I've noticed another strange phenomena unlike with most North American girls in time Latinas do not lose interest in having sex with you. The frequency does not go down If anything the frequency goes up and they can get demanding if you don't comply and you're the one that gets the headache She could be the one sulking not you in my experience. It seems to be exactly the opposite of American girls

[03:58] Most all my North American male friends will vouch for that. I'm sure yours will too and it's worth pointing out Luther says When you're North American romantic partner is pissed off at you or you're in the dog house That's a signal there. Most probably will not be sex tonight ask any American guy He'll tell you when you're in the doghouse, you're in the sex doghouse too. Oddly enough I've yet to encounter that phenomena in Latin America. Sure. You could say Latinas are more explosive more fiery More excitable and much more jealous than North American women. That's a given Yet unlike with most American girls a fight or a row or some kind of falling out will not diminish Latina's sexual appetite ask any Latina and if she's honest with she'll admit to having and even demanding sex

[04:48] From her man who at the time she's absolutely furious with and think of this How many times have you been sort of hesitant to kiss or embrace your American girlfriend? Because you took her hint in the past when she said please not now or you'll mess up my makeup or lipstick or Hair every American guy knows what I'm talking about. I bet you've been there to Johnny How many times has your American girl or love interest subtly bobbed weaved or tilted her head to avoid a full impact hug or a kiss? Well, John, you know what since I've been living in Latin America That's never ever ever happened to me if the price of affection is some tussled hair or some smeared makeup Latinas are more than happy to pay that price Anytime anyplace within limits and John what I'm talking about here has nothing to do with what you call the gringo advantage

[05:37] That's a completely separate and different thing Just wanted to write this email to point out some obvious differences in the ways Latinas leave North American ladies in the dust One last thing John now a guy living up in the States might say you're all wrong Luther My girlfriend does all those things. She's ready for a kiss or a hug or a tumble any time Messing up her hair or lipstick or clothes is no concern that may be true, but I'm willing to bet You're likely still in the early phases the honeymoon phase of your relationship Give it six months then tell me about it Personally, I found with Latinas the honeymoon phase will last and last even if you're an asshole a jerk a serial cheater

[06:24] Latinas are used to relationship trauma as far for the course so in the end I'm not inclined to feel sorry for all those poor schmuck American guys who will never experience Unconditional love Latin style. It's a little hard to explain, but if you don't have a plan B You'll never get a place at that table Signed expat Luther Medellin Colombia. Oh right Luther. Thanks for that lots of good points there But you say you're in Medellin Colombia, right? That's pretty much ground zero for Latina gold diggers I'd say of all the countries in Latin America, Colombia takes the cake for the sheer percentage of gold diggers or Chapia dores per capita then again you could say when we get scammed by a gold digger

[07:10] We deserve it expats gringos in North Americans. We're responsible for creating the monster like expat Eddie said it just takes one gringo to Excessively spoil a perfectly reasonable Latina Then something happens something clicks. She starts posting her great new life on the Internet The restaurants that trips the cars the bling the nice apartment all courtesy of an overindulgent gringo or two or three in the end It's a snowball effect Which is why all those Latina Cupid dating sites are such minefields But you knew that already right one more thing about Luther now. I don't know the guy But I know the type and I think you do too handsome athletic big man on campus in his college days a

[07:57] Guy in that top 5% who's never had trouble picking up girls as my younger brother would say a chick magnet Of course, most of us grew up never knowing what that was like which makes Luther's take on things all that much more interesting Because it is a fact that most gringo expats who've come down here to live in Latin America most I'd say more than 90% anyway Report that they've had lots of girl and marriage troubles up in the States Some even say that was the main reason they got the hell out of Dodge Saying they just couldn't deal with American women anymore. So they're looking for a fresh start a clean slate Do you know anyone like that? Does that sound familiar to you? Speaking of sex love marriage relationships, etc here in Latin America just the other day I got an email from a regular listener Douglas an

[08:43] American guy who met a Guatemalan up in the States Married her whilst up there and now some years later has come down to Guatemala To live the good life with his wife in that famous altiplano paradise now He's told me in previous emails that he's met some of his wife's relatives in Guatemala and he gets along with him Just fine. Needless to say he's got some good stories to tell Anyway, and his most recent email. He says Johnny your recent episodes on marriage and divorce in Guatemala and Latin America have hit home for me He says many of my Guatemalan wife's cousins and aunts up in the States have followed some of the similar Relationship customs you've mentioned in a few of the past shows like for example staying

[09:28] legally tied To an ex-husband who's also got another family Doug says while at first Johnny I sympathized with the wives who were left behind because Over time I started to see a particular dynamic Like for example some of her relatives living in the States becoming overly American eyes Call me sexist. I've been called worse He says but it looks like that contributes a lot to that previous Latin American marriage back home falling apart Alright me Johnny here He was referring to some of the topics we were speaking about in a couple of past shows Where I mentioned I run into people all the time here in Latin America Latino male deadbeat dads that is who have somehow managed to create two families one down here in Latin America and one up in

[10:15] The States somewhere of course the shithead of a guy tries his best to keep the secret and sometimes he can for years and years But eventually people find out meanwhile. He's generally not responsible enough to support either family adequately That's the saddest part and the kids back home in Latin America are the ones that really suffer It's a huge problem. Everyone down here in Latin America knows someone in that situation Friends uncles cousins to me those have exactly the kind of people you don't want sneaking into the United States Poor values bad habits. They're just terrible parents and role models But that's what you get when you don't filter out those kinds of people and you leave the borders wide open Alright moving on next email comes from Dave number 23 from Oklahoma City. He says Johnny

[11:02] I'm curious if you could talk on your show about people who want to do a plan B in Guatemala or El Salvador on a Part-time basis. I would be down there full-time myself Dave says but my wife is very concerned about being away from grandkids that we don't even have yet My idea he says is to buy a place or a long-term rental and be down there for a couple of months at a time Maybe two or three times a year and then rent it out as an Airbnb during the times We're not there Johnny if you have any tips from people who have done something like this It would be a great help of interest to me By the way, if you hear a lot of pounding and hammering going on There's a big construction project going on right next door can't help that. But hey, it's real-life stuff going on, right? Anyway as to Dave's inquiry to be brutally honest here after living down here over 30 years myself

[11:52] Hearing stories from hundreds of married and unmarried expats They're sort of a common thread you often see that doesn't turn out well Unfortunately Dave when a married couple comes down. It always seems that one of those two people is Much more dead set on having a plan B than the other Often the more excited or gung-ho of the two will spend months trying to convince the other that a plan B is the thing to do and Some couples will come down where one doesn't want to be here at all In that case, there may be some kind of deal that involves time For example one might say I'll give it 90 days or six months if I'm not loving it by then I'm going back to Cleveland with or without you in that case He or she will go with the flow having high hopes that the whole thing will work out

[12:39] But guess what it usually doesn't it might take a year or two But more often than not when one of the two people is having second thoughts even before they get on the plane Both of them end up going back to the States Though sometimes that I've seen this repeatedly to they end up breaking up in a lady It's usually the lady ends up going back home and the guy ends up staying here in Latin America In fact, I can write down a dozen names for you right off the top of my head Names of people I saw go through that very situation Now as far as married couples come down and end up living happily ever after well There are lots of those situations too But it seems to me it's the older couples that come down who most easily adapt to the transition The people over 60 or 65 fully retired couples on a pension who end up tuffing it out and stay in the course

[13:27] The sad fact is when I see a much younger couple coming down here with a plan B people in their 30s or 40s It's hard for me to think of more than a handful of people who stayed the course That's not to say they didn't stay down here in Latin America and live happily ever after I'm just saying most of those couples broke up and went their separate ways So they did stay with the plan B, but just not with each other So in my opinion the biggest predictor of success with your plan B That is if you're a couple or married couple coming down is that you're 100% on the same page Early on from day one. Oh and I've also noted the more disgust a person has for the US government The more a person is likely to stick with his plan B permanently The thing is if you come down as a couple there's always gonna be one who's a little bit more gung-ho

[14:17] But when one of the two has certain doubts right at the start That's a red flag like for example worrying about not seeing grandkids said aren't even born yet Well, I'd have to say based on couples I know who are in the same boat the idea of going back and forth to two homes one in the states and one in Latin America a couple times a year just to check in with the kids or grandkids Sounds good, but can get pretty tiring and expensive, too. And remember as economies crash travel restrictions will come Moving on. We've got mr. C talking about generational wealth latin style What does he mean by that? Let's see. He says keep us a Johnny Taking your advice. I've put some boots on the ground in every Central American country

[15:03] Sometimes with a city tour guide and mostly on my own in Doing so he says I have just noticed a huge change going on that. I hope you can confirm He says I live in Philly, Philadelphia, and I live in a heavily populated area of Latinos Believe it or not. He says some towns in the area are over 55% Latino He says decades ago Latinos would come up here illegally Work menial jobs make minimum wage of that sleep six to eight people per tiny apartment Pay for basic shared living expenses and send the rest of their money back home to their families It's what we call remisses now So back then decades ago Americans never bothered them and sometimes Industries actually tried to protect them cheap labor, of course

[15:50] So unless they were committing a crime and got caught they were almost always safe living under the radar in the US Alright, mr. C. Let's stop for a second here You know you very long time listeners might remember a story I told about my brother who was the manager of a huge meat packing outfit right outside of Chicago that employed Probably he told me 90% illegals my brother was in charge of hundreds of people at that meat packing plant who by the way made hamburger patties exclusively for McDonald's and Wendy's So don't tell me McDonald's and Wendy's didn't know there were hundreds if that thousands of illegals working at the bottom of their supply chain Anyway, that's how my brother picked up his street Spanish. My brother could talk just like a Chicano from East LA

[16:38] Anyway, my brother said they all had IDs not very good IDs and so security numbers too Nothing convincing under any kind of scrutiny But it was part of the whole system of routing illegals up to the states fixing them up with IDs at a couple of hundred Bucks a pop not fancy but good enough so that the meat packing company wouldn't get into any trouble if there was a raid They could fall back on the story that they check IDs and social security numbers and they all had them and like my brother said it wasn't the meat packing company's job To check those IDs in detail or go deep They didn't want to that was to catch 22 and that was a status quo for 20 or 30 years My brother said and even if there was a raid by ice There was a grapevine such that someone would get a phone call at the plant that for example

[17:26] A raid was coming the following morning and then that following morning. There'd be nothing but a skeleton crew So anyway, what my brother told me absolutely confirms what mr. C says in his email Concerning the part specifically that everyone was sending money back home mostly to Mexico and back then we're talking about the 70s 80s and 90s Almost all those illegals were Mexicans and thus that money was sent back to Mexico But that was pre millennium things have really changed Back then illegals roamed freely when like mr. C says unless one of those illegals was caught committing a crime They were almost completely safe living and working in the gray zone under the radar almost anywhere up in the states But that was then these days as mr. C also points out

[18:11] He says things have changed drastically Johnny And I didn't take notice until a recent trip back to El Salvador where I got a tip about Salvadorians living in the states moving back home turns out Johnny and the progression of things those Salvadorians who came to the United States years ago Eventually started making a little more money and of course started families He says Johnny keep in mind all the new kids they had in the states are now US citizens So called anchor babies. Oh and mr. C me Johnny here again Don't forget at least three presidents including Carter Reagan and Bush had massive Amnesty plans for illegal aliens turns out back then if you were an illegal alien living in the states for more than five years

[18:57] And you had no criminal record during that time. You could apply like tens of thousands of people did to get amnesty Which meant full legal residency in the US? So anyway a generation or two ago illegal Latinos living up in the United States Started getting an emissary dropping anchor babies and now that they were legal able to buy starter homes Little by little though is now legal Latinos started going back and forth to the home country El Salvador and with the nest egg they've saved they start buying those upper middle-class homes in El Salvador That they never could afford all those years ago, but here's the kicker Johnny They're grown kids up in the states don't want to move to El Salvador the states is their home

[19:43] So eventually one of the kids up in the states Inherits or buys the parents house with the parents helping the other kids born in the states to buy a house after they get married However, those kids born in the states are mostly educated and making much more than minimum wage out Mr. C says Johnny. I don't think most Americans really get it those first sets of illegals That landed in the US a generation or two ago. They've done something brilliant without even realizing it They actually did find and are living the American dream We're talking about people who came to the states before the millennium with them. The pattern is much the same They buy a house almost never sell it But we'll buy a second or a third house to help out married kids, etc

[20:29] Those first-time arrivals all those years ago are probably grandparents today They almost always have money whether in the bank or under a mattress, but they never flaunt it Though they create jobs and open up many small businesses For example restaurants food trucks and mini markets So Johnny back to the original point. We're now on about the third generation of Latinos It explains why so many towns up in the states are primarily Hispanic now as mentioned the town I live in is 55% Hispanic Meanwhile sadly most Latinos in the United States are working their asses off to get upward mobility While young homegrown Americans are demanding more and more entitlement programs So they can sit in their mom and dad's basement playing video games all day without a clue of how to pass a job interview

[21:21] Then mr. C asked this question. He says Johnny. Are you seeing this in any other Latin American countries besides El Salvador? That's my boots on the ground report from El Salvador signed mr. C. All right, mr. C Congratulations for hitting every Central American country, but I'll tell you El Salvador seems to be a special case Turns out you can't spend one day in El Salvador without running into some older Salvadorian or Salvadorian couple Who've done exactly that made their mark up in the states and are now building or buying a house in El Salvador to spend their? Retirement years, you know, everyone loves the country they were born in even if it's a shithole But Salvador a former shithole really is a special case The place is absolutely safe now and the land of opportunity. There's so much construction and building going on

[22:09] I'm telling you Guatemalans living up in the states Nicaraguan's up in the states Costa Ricans Panamanians They're not in any big way heading back to their home country to live out their retirement years It's something so far as I can tell is only happening with El Salvador Basically almost all due to what buccal a has done. No matter what you think of them. The turnaround is spectacular I don't even want to get into a discussion about those first-world human rights whiners Who hate buccal a who continuously talk about how the wrong people get picked up and shoved into that maximum security prison? Yeah, right. Have you been there though? Isn't it funny that everyone in the maximum security prison seems to have a big-ass snake or scorpion tattooed to his face? And all those American human rights whiners will say it's just someone expressing themselves

[22:57] It's a personal choice. Of course, if a guy like that tried to move in next door or go out with your daughter Wouldn't that be the greatest kind of woke stir karma, huh? But I digress as usual the fact is mr. See I'm just not seeing a rush of Latin Americans living in the states moving back to their home countries except in El Salvador Though I am hearing more and more from Latinos. I know down here. They're telling me There's lots of fear amongst their illegal brothers sisters aunts and uncles living up in the states a kind of fear that has never existed before It's no joke and the fact that more and more Illegals up in the states are figuring out that American dream. They so want to believe in does not exist anymore Isn't it funny? It sort of parallels what's happening generally in the United States with regular citizens You know, it's the first time in history kids are not doing better than their parents

[23:47] They can't afford to buy houses and therefore must settle for lower expectations Yet I never met a Gen Z kid who I can honestly say is willing to bust his ass like so many middle and lower middle class Kids from my generation So lately I've been hearing that lots of illegal Latinos up in the states are thrown in a towel and just going back to their Home country why because after seeing the reality of what it takes to live a decent life in the states It's just not the American dream. They were promised enough said about that except to say that mr. C and Philly has a PS to his email. He says Johnny Can you send me your water filtration set up then he asks? Why do you have just an under the sink and not a whole house water filtration system? He says I assume no copper piping is used due to costs. Correct. All right, let's talk about that for a sec

[24:37] So then why do I have just an under the sink system and not a whole house system? It's about cost Because you see let's say you've got two people in the house and the average person uses 50 gallons of water a day Which is about half of what they say the average American uses Just go online and take a look at one of the more popular Water filters Berkey if you look at the specs they say you're supposed to change the filters Which cost about a hundred bucks about every thousand to two thousand gallons So think of it if you have a whole house water filtration system and you use a hundred gallons a day two people You'd have to change the filters every ten to twenty days at a hundred bucks a crack or so Of course, it's totally worth it If it's just drinking water because you're probably only gonna drink a gallon or so a day

[25:24] So with two people that's two gallons a day Let's say if you work out the math you'll see you won't have to change your filters for over a year Though mr. C and a couple of the houses I've owned in Latin America. I've put in a whole house sediment filter because you know Sometimes sand and muck and sediment will come through your pipes, especially if you've got a private well in that case It's worth attaching a whole house sediment filter, which will probably clog up pretty fast But these days they've got these sediment filters called spin down filters. Look it up spin down filters It's a filter. You don't have to change You just back flush it like a pool filter They work great and the one I have now I back flush it about every three months You could see through the clear housing when the filter is getting clogged. You'll also see the water pressure start dropping

[26:13] Which is why it's worth it to buy a $10 pressure gauge and put it in line And as far as the copper piping thing, you know copper pipes good It'll last a hundred years, but it's very rigid and hard to deal with you have to cut it have the proper tools Know how to solder. Yes, I can do all that but it's a pain in the ass besides that copper is super expensive Why do you think the whole world switched to plastic some 50 years ago? Who knew how bad any kind of plastic is for our health so something's got to give but I don't think we'll ever go back To copper pipe. It's just too damn expensive By the way, as far as my own personal water purification system since the pipes and the filters and the housings are all plastic About a year ago. I bought a Dalton gravity feed ceramic candle purification system the equivalent of an echo filter a

[27:02] Ceramic and charcoal filter that's made in Guatemala expats living in Central America know all about that filter. It's great. Anyway, I'm using a similar gravity feeds ceramic filter For the final stage of my under-the-counter water filter to filter out any and all micro and nano Plastics that might be flaking or exuding from the plastic tubing or pipes To some it might sound like overkill, but hey, I was born with that overkill gene, you know Sometimes it comes in handy. Sometimes it's a pain in the ass You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at Gmail dot com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week long expat insider seminar in Central America

[27:51] Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at Gmail dot com. No spamos