Episode Summary
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller dives into the practical and cultural challenges expats face in Latin America. He begins by discussing the importance of driving in the region, emphasizing the need for 4x4 pickups or SUVs with high ground clearance due to poor road conditions. He highlights the dangers posed by 'two milos' (speed bumps), potholes, and missing manhole covers, which can damage regular cars. Johnny also makes light-hearted and controversial remarks about his audience, including mocking 'woke' listeners and making sexist comments about car preferences. He offers practical advice on inspecting used cars for damage and jokes about the average male's lack of awareness about their hat size and references the last male hat fashion craze from the 1960s.
Next, Johnny discusses the cost and practicality of manhole covers in Latin America, highlighting the transition from cast iron to composite materials like fiberglass and plastic. He explains that while composite covers are more durable and have no resale value, they are significantly more expensive, which limits their widespread use. Johnny also mentions the importance of high road clearance in SUVs and pickups, especially during flash floods, and explains the risks of driving through water with standard cars. He addresses an email from a listener asking about modifying a sedan's suspension to handle the challenges of driving in Latin America, suggesting that it could be a viable option if done properly, though it may reduce resale value. Finally, Johnny touches on a satirical email about the U.S. government winning the 'war on stupidity,' which he finds ironic given the government's history of losing other wars.
In the third segment, Johnny discusses the impact of the pandemic on expats, particularly focusing on the challenges of travel and quarantine restrictions. He mentions the upcoming Expat Insider seminar, which has been postponed due to changing regulations, especially in Canada. He acknowledges the criticism from a listener named Carol, who points out that mainstream media occasionally gets things right, such as weather forecasts. Johnny admits to generalizing and acknowledges the issue. He shares a story about a seminar attendee who got married at the event, highlighting the unexpected and personal stories that come with expat life. He also discusses the cost of flights during the pandemic, noting a significant drop in prices compared to the peak of the crisis. The segment ends with an email from Emily, a new listener interested in expat life in Costa Rica.
In the fourth segment, Johnny discusses the challenges expats face in Costa Rica, particularly with organized scams and rip-offs. He shares personal experiences and stories of other expats who have been victimized by local authorities, lawyers, and real estate agents. Johnny emphasizes that while Costa Rica was once a popular destination for expats due to its lack of a standing army, it has since become a target for exploitation, especially for those who are not fully immersed in the local culture or legal system.
In the fifth segment, Johnny recounts his personal experiences with the Costa Rican legal system, including a time when he was pulled over by a motorcycle cop and had to pay a bribe. He also shares a story about hiring a lawyer who was a poet and law professor, who advised him to seek another lawyer due to his ethical stance against bribes. Johnny then discusses the broader issue of expats in Costa Rica, emphasizing the importance of living off the tourist trail to avoid overpriced real estate and cultural challenges. He also shares a cautionary tale about a gringo woman who fell for a Panamanian man with a history of infidelity and financial corruption, highlighting the dangers of romantic relationships in Latin America.
Finally, Johnny discusses the importance of being cautious when dating men who have children from previous relationships and are not married to them. He addresses his audience, particularly expats, and encourages them to consider this as a red flag. He then promotes his services, including one-on-one consultations and a seminar aimed at helping expats with their 'plan B' in Central America.
Episode Notes
In this episode of The Expat Files, Johnny Mueller discusses the practical and cultural challenges expats face in Latin America. From the importance of 4×4 vehicles to navigating manhole cover materials, he shares real-world advice. He also touches on the pandemic's impact on expat travel, the rise of scams in Costa Rica, and the importance of legal awareness. With humor and insight, Johnny offers a comprehensive look at life as an expat in the region.
For more episodes, seminar information, resources, and the full archive, visit ExpatPlanB.com.
Keep exploring
Related guides: Cost of Living in Latin America · Renting and Buying Property · Safety and Scams
Related episodes
Search the full episode archiveBrowse practical guidesExplore the Expat Insider SeminarAsk about a consultation
Topics
Driving in Latin America, Car maintenance and safety, Expat life challenges, Cultural and social commentary, Humor and satire, Manhole Covers, Driving in Latin America, Car Modifications, Government and Education, Pandemic impact on expats, Travel and quarantine restrictions, Expat Insider seminar
Chapters
00:00:00 Opening 00:01:36 Ground Clearance Matters for Expat Cars in Latin America 00:02:01 Johnny Mueller's Practical Advice on Choosing High Ground Clearance Vehicles 00:05:13 The Three Main Reasons to Avoid Regular Cars in Latin America 00:05:41 Cost of Manhole Covers 00:05:59 Why Composite Covers Are Not Everywhere 00:06:15 Importance of High Road Clearance 00:07:42 Email from Mr. Gringo Star 00:08:52 Modifying a Sedan's Suspension 00:10:24 Satirical Email on Government 00:11:12 Victory Claimed and Criticism of Mainstream Media 00:11:14 Criticism of Mainstream Media Accuracy 00:11:20 Acknowledgment of Generalization and Criticism 00:11:28 Discussion on Mainstream Media Accuracy 00:11:32 Acknowledgment of Mainstream Media Accuracy 00:11:35 Discussion on Mainstream Media Accuracy 00:11:42 Acknowledgment of Mainstream Media Accuracy 00:11:45 Acknowledgment of Mainstream Media Accuracy 00:17:47 Organized Scams in Costa Rica 00:18:27 Johnny's Personal Experience with Expats in Costa Rica 00:20:31 Targeting Snowbirds and Part-Time Residents 00:22:23 A Personal Encounter with the Costa Rican Legal System 00:23:10 The Legal System and Expatriate Experiences 00:27:22 Warning Signs in Romantic Relationships 00:27:27 Is This a Solid Red Flag for Expats? 00:27:36 One-on-One Consultations for Expats 00:27:50 Week-Long Seminar for Expats: Get Ahead with Plan B
Transcript
Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.
[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came out to play and now that I wonder Hello there all you ex-pat wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great And it's all right here, so let's get started all right a couple of emails first And then we'll see how many woke listeners we can root out and make fun of yeah You know I've got all kinds of listeners from all over the world lots of woke people whose main mission It seems to me is trying to get people like me cancelled. I say go for it you retards
[00:48] Question is why do you keep listening and sending me emails? What's the matter aren't CNN AOC mad Maxine Waters? The New York Times Bill Gates, dr. Falsy Ellen degenerate and Oprah making you and your lemming buddies happy anymore But I digress and in the first 30 seconds of the show how about that now to set this first email up you longtime listeners have heard Me say many times before since some of the roads here in Latin America are so badly maintained if you're thinking about getting a car You should really consider getting a 4x4 pickup or a mini SUV. It's not that you'll ever put the thing into four-wheel drive I've had many four-wheel drive vehicles down here, and I've never had to switch in all axles It's just that pickup trucks and SUVs many are full-sized always have heavier duty suspensions And a lot more ground clearance than the average car
[01:36] You know a distance from the road to the frame under the door to me the number one thing you should be looking at in A vehicle is ground clearance the more the better that should be the number one thing for guys anyway because ladies Hey, they just want a nice-looking car Nothing wrong with that you know different strokes for different folks and all that is that sexist well then cancel me Why don't you all right then who's left listening? Let's move on in fact I've actually taken some measurements and have looked into what's available in the way of high ground clearance vehicles if you look it up You'll find some of the standard pickups and SUVs have road clearances of seven eight or even nine inches again when driving down here The higher the better basically for three reasons number one those things called two milos known up by you as speed bumps
[02:24] I'll tell you those things have trashed out more undercarriages of regular cars than even the deepest of potholes and believe me some potholes are monstrous the thing is though even a Standard car could take a pothole at low speeds But those two milos are speed bumps some of them are raised so high in the air that you will scrape no matter How slow you take them and know you may be very cautious and slow down Appropriately the thing people forget is that when you've got passengers in the car and a couple of extra hundred pounds your car rides a little Bit lower that includes hauling or stocking up on stuff in the hardware or grocery store, too Don't forget your car will ride a bit lower meaning the same two milos You may have cleared just fine on the way to the hardware store on the way back home You just might bottom out on them now if you're down here long enough, especially if you drive down here
[03:11] There'll be one odd thing you'll start noticing about most cars that are not late model or brand new the front and or back bumper Which in today's cars are all plastic, you know well down here They've been knocked and jarred and banged around so much by those tumor lows I'm talking about the plastic underside of those bumpers where they're connected to the frame Well the thing you'll notice right away If you're looking at the lines and seams of the bumper where they match up with the other car parts like the fenders and rocker panels You'll notice they never quite meet or match like they used to when the car was new in fact I'd say most regular cars that have been on the road here in Latin America for three years or more They've scraped bottom on two milos so many times that some of the underside Fasteners which are also plastic have popped out or have been torn out and when you try to replace them or fix them It ain't easy new fasteners just won't fit in those slots and holes anymore
[03:59] That's why so many car owners whose bumpers are virtually falling apart Will shimmy down under the car and try to refast and then stabilize the bumper somehow using those ubiquitous nylon tie wraps You know what I'm talking about and obviously after a few more two milo hits those things eventually get torn loose, too That's why I always say if you're looking to buy a used car here in Latin America Always stick your head down under the bumper and look how much damage has been done by two milos See how many of those clips that fasten the bumpers are missing broken duct-taped or rigged up with multiple nylon tie wraps Well, and here's another quick tip if you can't get your head under the bumper to take a look at that stuff Either your head's way too big or the car's way too low. Don't buy it
[04:45] Then again, you could disregard that advice if you wear a size 6 hat or less or if you're a pinhead government bureaucrat By the way, I'd venture to guess that perhaps 98 or 99% of adult US males don't even know their own hat size Though women might because they do come in and out of fashion periodically in a soft kind of way But for men the last male hat fashion craze petered out with a rat pack around 1960 But you knew that already, right? Anyway, I mentioned three main reasons why you don't want to have a regular car because they sit so low Number one the two milo the speed bump number two the occasional gigantic pothole number three and you rarely see this up in the states Missing manhole covers, you know The typical manhole cover is cast iron and weighs between a hundred to two hundred pounds
[05:32] Now here's something that almost no one knows or gives a damn about But the reason why there's a market for stolen manhole covers here in latin america is you get about 30 bucks in scrap for each One now get this a replacement cast iron manhole covers around 200 bucks So naturally companies have come out with fiberglass and very dense plastic manhole covers That'll take all the weight of a cast iron one up to 40 tons and those composite fiberglass plastic manhole covers Have zero resale or scrap value. So why don't you see them everywhere then? Well because they cost about six hundred dollars each and standard cast iron manhole cover 200 bucks But you know, I am starting to see some of the fiberglass ones in and around latin america So I guess that's some progress Oh, and I just remembered a fourth reason why you want a car suv or pickup with high road clearance
[06:21] It's because during the rainy seasons There are always flash floods though an intersection might only be flooded for 20 minutes to an hour If you're driving through in a standard car with normal road clearance, you could get a wet foot worse yet Since water offers tremendous resistance when you drive through it Remember those plastic fasteners beneath the car frame holding down the bumpers Well as you plow through an intersection is temporary lake the water will get up and under that panel And cause a hell of a lot of strain on those fasteners Same effect when you're driving fast on the open highway in a car whose bumpers have been repaired or refastened because of damage Like the force of the air on the wing of an airplane the 60 or 80 mile an hour Air will get up and under and tend to separate any openings in those loose plastic panels
[07:08] That's why when you're taking a trip through the boonies in latin america You'll often see on the open road where people don't much care about the speed limit an abandoned chunk of car plastic alongside the road In fact, i've been a passenger in many cars taxis ubers, etc Out on the open road where at a certain speed you start hearing some odd noises and vibrations most of the time It's not a mechanical problem It's the air getting up and under those bumper panels that have been jarred slightly loose by tumelows at high speeds That stuff vibrates separates and makes a racket eventually loosening up and causing damage too Which brings us to this short email from mr. Gringo star He says dear johnny as an alternative to buying an suv or van or pickup truck with a raised suspension Would it pay perhaps to have a mechanic raise the suspension on a standard sedan auto like a toyota celica?
[08:00] He says my girlfriend has just such a car If a sedan car was raised to counter the physical hazards of driving on latin american streets Would it be worth the money to do so or perhaps would the car be too unstable to drive? Many thanks signed gringo star antigua guatemala. All right, mr Starkey, you know, that was ringo's real name richard starkey You know the longer you live here in latin america the more you become accustomed to seeing cars and trucks modified extended raised lowered There are just all kinds of welders and mechanics that'll do anything you want them to do with your vehicle If you want a complete metal enclosure welded to the back of your station wagon or pickup truck so that your driveway chickens goats You're fighting cockroosters pigs. Yep, even pigs will be well caged when you're driving them to market
[08:47] Well down here. There's no laws against modifying your car And if there were there's no enforcement and I imagine mr Star a modification like that to raise your suspension on a toyota would be fairly cheap Maybe a couple hundred bucks though to make it worthwhile you'd have to raise it at least two or three inches That means some steel and extra welding as far as stability Well, if you're not into high speed highway driving or taking hard fast curves I can't see stability being a problem except car suspensions are not nearly as heavy duty or well reinforced as a truck In fact, most suvs are souped up car bodies put on truck suspensions where the frames axles tie rods Even the brakes are more heavier duty than a regular car besides that once you've modified and jacked up a car Like that it'll have almost no resale value So if you do that plan on owning it and running it till it dies and toyotas are pretty hard to kill
[09:35] You see lots of 30 even 40 year old ones on the road here. It still amazes me How long cars can last here in latin america? They've got everything going against them with the sun and the rainy season Lack of maintenance and even the lack of in most instances regular oil changes All right now an email from a lady expat insider seminar attendee one of our favorite people chris She says johnny. Thanks for sending us the cove idiot links She's of course referring to the links that I have for Youtubes that are certain to be banned soon because they tell the truth about dr Falsy bill gates and all the dough the pharmaceutical companies are making because that's what it's all about It's about the dough and panicking all the sheep into believing only big pharma and the government know what's good for you Yeah, right as if the government has ever been truly successful at anything
[10:22] Oh and before I get into chris's email I have to tell you about an email I got from a listener Danny who says finally the u.s government has achieved their mission. They won a war. They've won the war on stupidity Wasn't easy. He said it took about 20 or 30 years of dumbing down The curriculums in the public schools and public universities. It's a war They've won about time too because when it comes to wars The government spent a loser for the past 50 years the past three generations It's pretty embarrassing to look back and note They lost a war on poverty the war on drugs the war on cancer the gulf wars the afghan wars the vietnam war All the way back to the korean war. Oh and just recently as you all can see They've lost the war on inflation. But finally, yes, finally, they've proved their mettle. They won the war on stupidity
[11:12] Victory can now be claimed 99% of the population have been completely dumbed down good to see for once your tax dollars Have produced the desired effect that reminds me recently another listener scolded me saying you keep talking about how The main street media keeps dishing out fake news while I beg to differ. It's not All fake news said carol a long-time listener She said the mainstream media occasionally get the temperature the time the hockey scores and the weather forecast completely correct So please johnny quit generalizing Carol you got me there guilty as charged and carol I know you're from canada who else would mention hockey scores by the way I've got a very big list now of people who want to come to my next expat insider seminar
[11:57] Which I hope to launch before the end of the year and of course, you know The reasons i've been postponing it the ever-changing covidiot rules one of the main problems in wild cards being That at almost every seminar i've ever had i've had a canadian or two or three And as you probably know the covidiot restrictions in canada are some of the worst in the world Turns out even if you're a citizen returning to canada You got to go into quarantine for 10 days at your own expense And believe me that really puts a damper on people wanting to go back and forth like for example to a seminar So the seminar will be launching when those lunatic requirements ease up now I've heard that canada is going to be lifting those restrictions soon Of course, we'll be monitoring that the other problem is that some countries including a lot of european countries Are refusing the entrance of people from certain other countries that have had a high covid count yet more proof that governments have won the war
[12:48] On stupidity. So yes, there will be a seminar We're just waiting for some of the more crazy ass restrictions to loosen up which brings us to this email from expat insider alumnus chris She says thanks for the real covidiot links Also, I appreciate the letter you read on the podcast recently from another repeat seminar offender I'm gonna guess johnny. It was jenn as in jenn and steve who got married at the seminar All right, me johnny here. Yeah, that's something I failed to mention on the show talk about expecting the unexpected Imagine that at one of the previous seminars our seminar lawyer married two of the attendees How's that for a boots on the ground story? But chris you're mistaken that letter I read on the podcast recently About making sure when you build a rental place that it's correctly and ergonomically designed
[13:33] Especially important for people slipping into old age and you know what that means and people with mobility problems Just to set the record straight the gen who wrote that on our last show was another gen. Anyway, chris says johnny I appreciate you talking about planning for our decrepit years in regards to construction and house layout I know many people she says who have parents who live on the second floor of a house with very treacherous stairs And other hazards of old age then she mentions how airlines have been gouging people during the covidiot thing She says last june a year ago when I was in guadamala and decided to return to the us Smack in the middle of the most panicky stages of the pandemic. Well johnny at that time The so-called quote repatriation flights from guadamala to the united states were running
[14:21] 1800 bucks one way then when the lockdown came in march 2020 There were lots of gringos and antigua who were on vacation were stranded though stranded as a strong word Because it really was quite tranquil in antigua guadamala, but it was obviously airlines were price gouging one way economy class 1800 bucks So anyway, even though the airport was closed to incoming flights for non-resident travelers I decided to book a round trip with a return date as far out as I could get one which was five months The first class round trip was 850 bucks my how things change So I booked it the return flight, however was scheduled for last october and it was canceled by the airline But the ticket is good until may 2022 a small win, but a win nevertheless
[15:10] Well, thanks for that chris and I gotta tell you price gouging was everywhere during the panic months of last summer But now prices have not only moved to pre-pandemic levels. I can't believe today I just looked it up for a round trip flight from o'hare field in chicago to guadamala city in october 350 bucks now, I know pre-pandemic you could find flights for about 450 to 550 but 350 is the lowest i've ever seen it a far cry from a year ago last june as chris said when The rates were 1800 bucks one way and for that disruption from normal. We can thank dr. Dickhead falsie He's the one, you know who funded the gain of research at wuhan lab that produced the Covidiot strains and he's gonna go down for it. You watch what a pompous two-faced lying sack of
[16:02] And of course as usual, I mean that in the kindest most christian sort of way Though I think both bill gates and dr. Falsy would look good in matching orange jumpsuits. Don't you think? Then comes this email from emily. She says hey john. Nice to meet you I'm a new listener to the expat files podcast long time spanish speaker too and lover of all things central american I really enjoy your podcast your delivery information. Of course political views Ask me about january 6th. Why don't you? Anyway, i'm here for your help another gringo family headed south of the border Just can't take the bs anymore Now john, you mentioned boots on the ground a lot in your podcast being off the gringo tourist trail, too Well, i'm here with a typical gringo response for you
[16:47] We are looking to head to costa rica and here's why i've been to costa rica The most out of any country that I visited in central america and I have connections there already We're looking around the lake arinal areas more specifically in the village of el castillo as I have some work opportunities there I think this area is a little less gringoized and whitewashed than some of the other areas of costa rica Although I can't be sure because I haven't been back since 2015 seven years ago. Anyway, john I'm hoping you can help us with a two-year plan or less It will be my husband and two children ages three and four. We're all making the faithful leap I'm just trying to gather as much info as I can before we start making the move As this will be the most planning I've ever had to do in my life looking forward to hearing from you kind regards
[17:34] Signed emily. Well, thanks for that emily And you know i've got over a thousand podcasts out there and many many of them. I talk about costa rica I've been there dozens of times. I lived there almost three years myself and in that time. I watched every Single one of my gringo buddies and expat acquaintances get ripped off over and over again Now i'm not talking about petty crime like a motorcycle pulling up cutting your purse off or stealing your wallet A lot of that goes on too in every big city in latin america, basically smaller towns not much at all But i'm talking about the organized astute gringo rip-ups involving land rent businesses permits licenses everything problem is emily costa rica was the very first destination that was cool for gringos and expats to go to
[18:20] That all started some 30 plus years ago now In fact when I first went down there back in 1985 just to get my bearings get some boots on the grounds, etc The locals weren't quite jaded yet. There weren't that many gringos at all Though they were coming in by the boatload The simple reason was that costa rica touted itself as the only country in latin america that did not have a standing army Though if you actually have been down there for a while or live there like I did You realize if you added up all the law enforcement personnel local police federal police national guard sheriffs deputies the works They've got just as many people in uniform or more per capita than most other latin countries who actually have a standing army Great pr, but not quite what people think unfortunately in 30 or 40 years costa rikens have learned all about gouging gringos
[19:07] At all levels too the local population including lawyers cops realtors land dealers and government slugs have become masters at fleecing Especially starry eyed newly arrived gringos. In fact, if you go back into my archives, they stretch back 12 years now I relate all kinds of wild and crazy gringo rip-off stories. In fact, I personally know a gringo who got ripped off for $800,000 by his lawyer. I knew a gringo canadian who had the hottest most successful bar restaurant and Live entertainment place too He bought a hole in a wall in a great location built up that business from scratch only defined after it was a huge success That his girlfriend costa rica had worked that deal with a lawyer to fleece him out of his title Then there was a couple of canadian buddies of mine who bought into a beautiful already built beachfront community with
[19:56] Cabana's and condos swimming pools restaurants the works only to find out after they'd moved in for a year or so that the land Was registered in someone else's name. Oh the houses and condos were in they the owner's names, of course But the actual land was titled in someone else's name In other words, they could never sell that property or pass it on to their heirs without clearing the title And to clear the title they all had to fork up by I think it was 12 Thousand dollars apiece and only then did he give him free and clear title to that land It was a big surprise to something like 35 mostly canadian property owners in the same project You see that's who costa rican scammers target mostly snowbirds that come down just for a month or two a year or even more But most generally people who aren't in the country full-time and when they leave for a month or two or six
[20:42] Whatever when the cats away that's when the dirty dealings start Oh, and in my own case, I was extorted twice by costa rican neighbors They were property line disputes on land. I owned one wanted 5 000 bucks He said my fence was on his property by 10 feet which wasn't true So I sick the lawyer on him and he had to go away But the thing is you see the average gringo does not speak spanish and when his lawyer informs him He's being sued by someone like that Sometimes the lawyer's in on it and he'll tell you it's better to just pay him off than to go to court which would take Years and during that time he'd go to court with all the delays and postponements You can never sell or do further developments to the land while a dispute about the properties being dragged through court though I won that one without going to court because it was so blatantly obvious He was in the wrong and it was just a nuisance suit then another group came after me the neighborhood zoning board
[21:31] I can't remember now how many there were on that board, but they each wanted a thousand dollar bribe If not, they said they were going to slap me with a zoning ordinance violation that never existed for anyone else except me Yeah, right. Welcome to the neighborhood gringo looking back I think I did pay them something. I think it was a thousand bucks total Funny thing though latino culture is different from ours in that the guys who bribe and extort you like that once you pay them off They want to be your best friend. They invite you to birthdays backyard barbecues and quince años events Can you believe it as if nothing ever happened like you were all of a sudden best friends? Oh when you regular listeners know that also happens with cops when they stop you telling you there's something wrong with your papers How are you gonna fight that and even if you did how could you decipher all that legalese? Well after you fork up 20 30 or 50 bucks, whatever suddenly cops will even whip out their wallets showing you pictures of their wife and kids
[22:21] Very strange and hard to get used to in fact I'll never forget the time I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop in costa rica Back then I didn't speak much spanish at all. So I couldn't talk my way out of it paid a 20-dollar bribe I think now get this before we parted he wanted a hug. Well, you know, i'm not such a touchy feely guy But I obliged what the hell went in rome, you know And then there's the fact that when I was searching for a lawyer in costa rica I selected a guy who had a law practice and was a law professor at the university and a poet Who had published a few books of poetry? I figured those were great qualifications as to what kind of person he was He was honest. That's why day one. He sat me down and said, you know, you're gonna need another lawyer, too He said I don't pay bribes or get involved with dirty dealings But I have a lawyer friend who will so he said when it comes to bribes and backhanded stuff
[23:10] We'll use him now imagine if it was you sitting there and that was your first introduction to the costa rican legal system Hey, I could ramble on for five hours talking about costa rican gringo expat ripoff stories And none of them here say either all stories that have happened to gringo expat buddies and acquaintances of mine And that's one of the main reasons why I prefer to live way off the gringo tourist trail And emily you talk about living near lake adinal I know it. Well, you say how it might be less gringo whitewash than the rest of the country Well, sorry emily. There are no places in costa rican that are off the gringo tourist trail The whole country is the gringo tourist trail though. You say you do speak spanish Well, then you have a huge advantage if you decide to live off the gringo tourist trail anywhere in latin america because that's generally the number one reason why people
[23:56] Want to go to gringo tourist areas because they can't speak spanish and they want to be around their kind and all that But you've gotten over that hump you've got no spanish learning curve So you could adapt really well off the tourist trail and it'll be half as expensive too Because you know when you're on the tourist trail, especially in costa rican It costs just as much as living in new york or chicago in some places even more though Of course emily if money's no object you can live anywhere and surround yourself with all the creature comforts you desire So emily, I hope I haven't put you off But hey I've got to tell it like it is as opposed to rags like international living who've got overpriced real estate to sell But you knew that already, right? All right Now let's talk a little bit about gringo ladies hooking up with the latin guy of their dreams Here's a portentous brutes on the ground story for you a 30 something gringo lady friend of mine
[24:42] Came down to latin america met a man of her dreams in panama city panama Her and I talk on signal once in a while and shoot emails back and forth Well, she just reported in a couple days ago and said her world had collapsed on her She'd been living with this handsome latin lover guy nice guy Kind of born with a silver spoon in his mouth His dad owns a couple of car dealerships in panama And so when his three sons came of age he gave each one of them a piece of the car business This guy in particular is in the spare body parts business. He told me get this He pays off four guys on an annual basis who are insurance adjusters for four different insurance companies In other words, he bribes them He gives these four guys a thousand dollars a year He says and when one of their clients gets in an accident They call the insurance adjuster. He goes out inspects the damage comes up with a repair bill
[25:30] He calls up the guy who bribed them who pays him a thousand bucks a year and says, okay I need this part this part and this part you get it. Hey, what can I say? This is latin america Anyway, my gringo friend had been living with this guy for two years or more and just a couple of days ago He was out of town attending his uncle's funeral. Somehow in the meantime, he forgot his phone at home She knew his password too. She'd seen him do it a hundred times. It was one two three four She was tempted to snoop because she knew all the stories about latin guy infidelities Though she said she didn't have any real cause for suspicion except for the fact he had a toxic streak of jealousy Whenever she was out on her own and came back He gave her the third degree. She had to account for every minute. She was gone account for everyone. She met He was even jealous that I was her friend And once she confessed he smacked her in the face when she came back from the gym all because she sent him a hello
[26:21] Lunchtime video of her working out at the gym and there happened to be a handsome guy on the machine right next to her And apparently the guy on the neighboring machine looked over a couple times at her while she was talking to her boyfriend on the phone And when she got home her latino boyfriend read her the riot act and smacked her for it So for that reason his toxic jealousy She had some suspicions and had her chance to check his whatsapp. Well when she called me, she wasn't crying She was furious her handsome latino boyfriend the guy she'd been living with for over two years He wasn't having just one or two affairs. He was juggling seven different women Hey, I know that sounds crazy and you wonder how could he do it and get away with it? Well, he got caught I'll keep you posted. There's more to come on that because as of right now when i'm doing this show She has not confronted him yet. She's only told a couple of her best girlfriends and me
[27:10] Now and I told you so would definitely be rubbing salt in the wound But love is blind though. I can't believe she didn't see the warning signs way up front when she met the guy She knew he had two young kids from two different women and he was never married to either of them Come on ladies and especially you gringa expats. Is that not a solid red flag? You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b send me an email the expat files at gmail.com
[27:57] nos famos