#1367 – The Gringo Advantage, DIY Skills, and Cultural Insights in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now as I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Let's start out today with something that's very unpeasy, but I get questions about it all the time. So here we go The subject your gringo advantage and love romance mating and dating now Of course Americans living up in the States and those who've never been to Latin America don't even know we have a gringo advantage

[00:48] They've never heard of it before hell I didn't even know there was such things a gringo advantage till I had been living down here at least six months Then you start putting two and two together by the way down here in Latin America two plus two actually does equal four They don't have white privilege woke math down here. They don't even know what white privilege is Sure, the majority of Latin Americans are racists and classes within their own cultural groups Are you surprised to hear that? Well, you shouldn't be but they don't go around pointing fingers. They're pretty silent about it It's just always there below the surface. And if you keep your eyes open You'll soon pick up on exactly what I'm talking about. Let's put it this way You'll almost never see a tall light-skinned maid gardener maintenance guy rent a cop transit copper military grunt

[01:36] So then what about our gringo advantage? Now, of course Latinos can pick out a gringo a mile away by our physical features So then what is it might you guess in our physical makeup that gives us the biggest part of our gringo advantage? Well, if you ask most gringos living down here for a while, they'll tell you a huge part of our gringo advantage is our lighter skin Is that what you're thinking too? Well, guess what you'd be wrong two Latinos and Latinas gringos are gringos We come in a lot of different colors Turns out by far the largest part of our gringo advantage is our height turns out Latinos have this thing about height Of course, the whole world has a thing about height, but Latinas even more so I hear that from Latinas All the time they love tall guys and believe me. It doesn't take much to be considered a tall guy down here

[02:27] Since the average gringo is what five nine or five ten in the average Latino five four or five five Of course, it's not just in Latin America women around the world prefer taller men Look at those dating abs if you're not six foot tall. No one will give you a look. That's why so many guys lie By the way, have you heard about the six six six rule? Ladies up in the States seem to be talking about it clandestinely I understand ladies up in the States say a guy who's got three sixes has got it all yep Six six six six feet six figures six inches turns out That's the sweet spot for girls checking out guys on the dating apps It's why so many guys on those dating apps lie their asses off, too So yes, it's obvious girls like guys who are taller than they are but height bias here in Latin America

[03:17] It's something else Man, that really works in a gringo's favor because what's average or even short up in the States is Considered tall and very desirable here in Latin America compared to Americans people here in Latin America are short Though it's not like you're walking around in the land of Oz Though you have to look up because many Latino residential homes have munchkin toilets Sure, you will notice you've got the height advantage, but it's not a ridiculous advantage Unless you're over six feet Then there will be times I guarantee you will have trouble getting through certain doorways Look out because you could bump your noggin, especially in certain residential homes I'm six foot and I've bumped my head a number of times So if you're just let's say the average American height

[04:03] According to stats for a white American male five foot ten Of course when you hit 50 and start growing at pot belly, you will shrink a bit But generally a twenty thirty or forty something gringo five foot ten and that five foot ten You will be taller than 98% of all Latin men Now this is worth repeating if you did a general poll of Latinas on the street and ask them what they most desire in a guy Physically, they'll say height Yes height not skin hair or eye color or body style In fact, those kinds of polls have been done over and over again and height desirability is number one Many many polls have borne out the fact that the average Latina wants a man at least 20 centimeters taller than she is

[04:49] That's about eight inches taller However, the bad news for Latina ladies is their wish rarely translates to reality Now here's the good news according to statistics. The average white American gringo is five foot ten Let's compare that to the average. Let's say Central American male from country to country It does vary a bit, but not much more than an inch Average height for Central American men that would be five foot five For example, the average height of a Guatemalan male is five foot three inches Seven inches shorter than the average white American male. The average Latin American guy from Honduras is five foot six Same with Panama Costa Rica Honduras, etc. Etc. Averaging out to five foot five for the average guy in Central America

[05:37] Now you can look this up the average Latin American female is five foot one inches average Central American female about five foot and one half inch So remember what was mentioned before the average Latina states that her ideal man has to be at least eight inches taller than she is So if she's five foot and one half inch, let's round it off the five foot one That means her ideal guy would have to be around five foot nine or taller But unfortunately the average Latin American male is five foot five That means there's gonna be a lot of disappointed women out there with unrealized expectations Since only five percent or one out of 20 Latino males are five foot nine or taller Fortunately for you if you're the average gringo coming down from the states at five foot ten

[06:23] You're already one inch taller than her dream guy So once again, I repeat height bias is a huge part of your gringo advantage Though height bias is really an international thing For example when it comes to people you've never met, but you know are famous or iconic You might be surprised to know that when average people on the street are asked how tall they think that iconic or famous person is They always guess on the high side. They guess that they're one or two inches taller than they really are Oh and get this speaking of weird height facts Did you know of the 45 men who served as US presidents? only three times in history the shorter US presidential candidate one if you were a Vegas odds maker

[07:09] You'd calculate the chance of that happening randomly at about six in one thousand by the way Latinos are very very conscious about their own height or lack thereof That's why they consistently wear much higher high heels than your average first world girl You can tell that by just walking past the average shoe store check out the display window. You'll be amazed Oh, and if you get a chance peek into one of their closets sometime on a slightly different note, it's sort of amusing what latinas say they like the most and dislike about expats and gringos Luckily the likes far out where the dislikes for example what latinas will regularly tell you if you can get them to talk about They'll tell you well of course. It's the height and the lighter skin and the lighter eye color clear eyes

[07:58] That's oh hoes kladdos, and that goes along with lighter hair color That's the obvious stuff But what goes along with that height thing is that it seems the taller a guy is Seems they get the impression we're more authoritative more physically stronger Why wouldn't we be if we're bigger and thicker stands the reason we'd be physically stronger than a slightly punier average latino guy That makes sense But the other thing is that latinas believe we're more intelligent Than the average latin guy simply because we made it down here to latin america and don't seem to work. Isn't that funny? Everyone else down here that is every latin american guy has a grind away at a job to make a living Yeah, the sprinkles seem to just come down here and lounge around all day Living nice houses and apartments nicer than they're living in

[08:46] We've got all the time in the world to schmooze with our buddies at sidewalk cafes etc on top of that Most of us have bays gardeners and nice cars That's why the local latinas even latin guys have the impression that we're more intelligent than they So then could that really be the case? Well, i've thought about that a lot and i've come to the conclusion that it's a definite No, it's just that we were born in the first world. So Instantly we got dealt a better hand because you see i've often got this internal dialogue going with myself and i'm thinking What if I hadn't been born in chicago to a nice Solid two-parent upwardly mobile middle class make that lower middle class educated family You know, it does cross my mind. What if i'd have been born into an average family down here in latin america?

[09:32] Well, i'd certainly have worse teeth because I wouldn't floss i'd be four inches shorter, too I'd probably be riding a chicken bus right now on my way to work at the call center It wouldn't be all bad though because i'd be generally much happier and man for once I could dance So then what's it all mean? How come we were the lucky ones to be born up in the first world at the right time and right place? I guess it just boils down to pure chance and the luck of the draw So then what about you guys and gals who are still on the fence about your plan b? Why are you still sitting there getting splinters in your ass? I know there are tens of thousands of you some of you have been sitting on that fence for years Sitting on a fence is not comfortable. I bet have you guys have numb ass cheeks

[10:19] I know why you're on the fence though. You're thinking about the risks involved Well realize everything you do has a risk of failure, right? So then how risky is it for you to get the hell out of dodge? I know you're thinking about it every time you tune into this show you're thinking about it You're thinking about risk reward ratios, right? How's it gonna work out? as for me My risks were less than the average of persons for two reasons. I had no kids and I had no debt I had a small nest egg, but I did not leave the u.s. Come to a place. I didn't know latin america intending to get rich At the time when I arrived I had about enough dough saved to last me. I figured around 10 years Being an optimist about myself not about the world about myself

[11:06] If I had been an optimist about the world, I never would have left Anyway, I figured I had about 10 years worth of dough if I could not or somehow Was unable to make any money. I figured 10 years. I was a math guy, but man was I wrong way wrong I calculated a latin american lifestyle based on gringo numbers What did I know? I never lived in latin america before I visited a few times. Costa Rica Mexico that was about it Anyway every year after that that i'd stayed in latin america along my 30 plus year journey When i'd reevaluate my situation how much dough I had on hand Oddly enough. I still seem to have enough to be able to last me about 10 years No matter where I was on my timeline again. I did not leave the u.s. Intending on getting rich

[11:56] I just wanted to get the hell out of dodge get independent to be able to wake up every morning and say to myself Let's see. What are we going to do today? What do I have on my list? Do I even have a list? Should I sleep another hour? Read a book build a lamp or a table go down to the beach. I just wanted to live every day on my own terms Not depending on the clock the man the government Now I didn't want to stop working. I just wanted to work at what I wanted to work at My goal was to only do the work. I wanted to do with people. I like to do it with To be able to say when necessary hell I'm getting bored. I don't want to do this anymore. So see ya And you know what that's exactly how it's worked out for me for the last 30 plus years So then all you expat gonna be some wannabes. How do you rate your own risk profile?

[12:47] Tell you what let's try this example suppose you have a nest egg not a lot of dough Let's say you're single no debt and have 20 g's saved up Well, I know I could make 20 g's last two full years here in latin america and have a pretty good time Not living the life of a backpacker either You long-time listeners know my minimum standards wherever I live wherever I go at very minimum I have to have my own personal private bathroom on 10 grand a year You could be living a pretty good first world life though not eating out a lot Nor drinking at the bars just living a pretty good first world life without all the frills The question is how long with 20 grand last you living up in chicago, new york jersey, miami half year, maybe All depends right and if you wanted to live like a backpacker, you could really stretch it out though

[13:36] No way would I ever want to live like that? By the way a little clarification about backpackers here stuff. You're never going to read about on the blogs Down here a backpack is called a muchilla. So a backpacker would be a muchilero By the way, it's not a nice or complementary word What you need to know about that is latinos and latinas mostly the girls latinos They use that term backpacker or muchilero As sort of a derogatory term it sort of means a low class down on its luck cheap ass gringo You see latina ladies have caught on to the fact that muchileros backpackers are tightwads and skin flints So if you come down here as a backpacker you can instantly on arrival subtract two points from your gringo advantage

[14:25] The latinas will notice you but not in a good way. The fact is when you see a bunch of backpackers down here They're usually hanging together Because they stay at the same 10 or 15 dollar a night fleabag hostels Same cheap same ultra unsanitary chinese restaurants, too In fact is you'll often see backpacker guys and girls Hanging together out on the town hanging around cheap restaurants drinking quart beers. Yep quart beers backpackers Know that's the cheapest way to buy a beer. Yep. They share a lot of stuff Anyway, it's sort of rare to see a backpack and gringo with a beautiful young latina Scruffy backpacker guys seem to hang with scruffy backpacker girls Again, it's because latina ladies are wise to muchileros backpacker They know if they go on a date with one. It just might be dutch treat

[15:12] That might work on occasion up in the states But down here that will not fly and down here you'll notice one of the pleasant surprises about latinas is that they may say They believe in equal opportunity and all that which is good in reality. They believe in a sort of feminism light They like romance surprises little gifts They like nice feminine things flowers you open in the door for them You sort of be in the gentleman to picking up the tab They're into the more traditional female role Though they absolutely abhor what feminism has done to ladies up in the states Yep, they get american tv and netflix and see everything that's coming out of hollywood. They think it's nutty and they don't like it I'll give you a good example here. You draw your own conclusions You know in that movie barbie with all those subliminal and not so subliminal messages about feminism and

[16:03] Wokeness and lgbgt and me too Broke all records up in the states. Of course It came to all the theaters down here in latin america too and guess what latinas were confused by it They just didn't get it They did not flock to the theaters like they did up in the states rumor has it it may even have lost money in its run Down here. Hey and latinas have as many barbies and accessories stuffed in their closets as girls up in the states They love barbie the doll But the movie did not quite connect with them as far as the messaging They didn't get it In fact for the latinas i've talked to about it. The ones that have seen it. It didn't do much for him at all They didn't know what the hype was about the feminist angle and the flick just did not resonate with him I kind of get it too because you see the north american brand of militant woke feminism is

[16:49] Distained down here. It's just not on the menu But I digress as usual man. Did I digress? Anyway If you're going to be or want to be sitting on the fence and you're wondering How long your own nest egg will last here in latin america, however large or small it might be Well, I could throw out some generalities, but I can't answer that question completely It all depends on your risk tolerance and management skills And how soft your life has been so far. Yep. I said soft. So what the hell does that mean? Are you a softy by nature or strong and kind of tough? Do you overthink things? Maybe you're a bit gullible I know you're not quick to act you don't act on impulse or you wouldn't have splinters from sitting on that fence for so long

[17:37] So how does all that stuff relate to be in an expat gonna be or want to be? How does that have anything to do with how long your nest egg is gonna last once you get down here if you get down here? Well, let's see. Let's do another couple of thought experiments Let's say where you're living right now up in the states You have a door that's pulling away from its hinges. It still works It's still closes, but it's starting to make some nasty noises And you know something's got to be done or maybe you've got a door that scraping against the floor It's annoying and something's got to be done In fact, what do you do when your door passage lock is rusted and the mechanism is sticky or jammed? It works sometimes but you know, it's gonna fail soon Or how about when you have a leaky kitchen faucet or a window that's not closing, right?

[18:23] Are you the type of guy or gal who will call someone to fix it? Or are you the guy or gal who'll pull the lock out and buy a new one for 10 bucks and replace the guts yourself? Do you have some basic tools around the house like a chisel and a wood plane? So you can fix the door when it scrapes against the ground Do you have a simple electric drill with some assorted bits a basic set of wrenches or ratchets? You don't have to be the fix it man or bob villa Remember bob villa this old house Used to watch that show back in the day myself. What a klutz. You know, he was pretty useless. It was norm who did all the work Anyway, like I said if you come down to latin america and are worried about how long your nest egg is gonna last If you had a nice soft little life back up in the states

[19:08] And phoned up other people to fix things for you If you're not what they used to call mechanically inclined you paid others to do everything for you And you never bothered to pay attention when they fix it or take a crack at it yourself Well, then it's definitely going to cost you more to live down here Just like it costs you more to live up in the states and here's something else that's going to sound pretty on pc But so what? Speaking in purely sexist terms 99 of women are not mechanically inclined Single women generally don't have a toolbox around the house So you'd think they'd be sort of so well if they choose to live alone here in latin america They'd burn through their nest egg in a hurry Things around the house tend to break down need maintenance, etc That's entropy and that's gringles and expats don't like to see things in a state of disrepair

[19:58] Not for long anyway, so ladies gringas does that automatically put you at a disadvantage? Nope Never fear note that latino guys will fall all over themselves to help a lady in distress Any lady in distress, but for gringas you'll get attention. That's on the next level life. Ain't fair I know, but that's the way it is. Oh, well now, of course, there could be gentlemen in any culture knights in shining armor But man, i'll tell you here in latin america A damsel in distress will draw good samaritans from far and wide and that's a good thing I can't even count how many times i've seen it in action a lady pulls over having trouble with her car within five minutes She's got good samaritans buzzing all over especially if she's a gringa then suddenly the whole situation is on steroids

[20:45] So anyway as to that question for all you guys and gals up there sitting on the fence If you have a fixed nest egg, just how long will it last? Well, it depends on your management skills your risk profile and innate ingenuity Funny thing tinkerers and do-it-yourselfers always seem to have a great time down here And for those of you who think or have been told you're not mechanically inclined That's what youtube videos are for. Just make sure you have some basic tools around the house Of course, there is a limit to everything There are things that even the best do-it-yourselfer cannot fix should not attempt to fix We'll get into that in the future now for a question. That's actually a quiz How many cables can a suspension bridge lose and still not fall or collapse?

[21:31] I know what you're thinking. Johnny. Why in the world would you ask such a question? Well, it's because I was driving in the boonies the other day and I saw such a bridge with a few missing and frayed cables And I thought to myself Does that scare me enough to not want to drive over that thing? Hell, I just watched a dozen cars in a dump truck go over that thing and nothing happened Didn't rock nor sway one centimeter Anyway, I recalled from my engineering days my structural engineering course where such infrastructure projects as bridges are overbuilt by a factor of three In other words, take the golden gate bridge and remove or cut 66 percent of those cables i'm talking about the vertical support cables not the horizontal ones It should still hold and support its rated design load

[22:18] Now, of course, that's if you follow international rules and norms and don't hire your cousin or drunken uncle to manage the project And since routine maintenance is an english phrase not often found in the spanish lexicon Should you should we be scared when we see such obvious deterioration in infrastructure projects? Well again, it's your call, but I don't see the locals getting nervous about it The crazy thing too is that in all the years i've been down here There's almost never a report of a road or bridge collapse except When there's some big natural disaster like a flood an earthquake a hurricane Though it is true down here in latin america Just like up in the usa the infrastructure has been deteriorating at an alarming rate Though i'll tell you what scares me most and i've mentioned this before

[23:05] Missing manhole covers i'll tell you if you're driving along and you hit one of those dead center You will regret it. That's why I do not recommend driving in latin america at night I try not to though. I know there are going to be plenty of times when you have to Like going to a concert dinner party wedding, whatever sure the other shit for brains drivers can scare you a bit It's driving home at night that compounds the danger Because you see in general you will notice Latino roads and highways are never as well lit as the ones up north Sometimes there's whole sections of a road blocks and blocks that have no lighting at all Then there's that added fact that so many cars buses and trucks don't have working headlights or taillights either I'm not just talking about one missing taillight or one headlight

[23:52] I'm talking about vehicles that have no headlights or taillights at all And that really pisses me off though. It doesn't seem to bother latino drivers one bit. I don't get it Here's a little thought experiment. What have you got in an accident with a guy with no lights? Obviously, it would be the other guy's fault Now remember that excuse that the guy had no headlights or taillights will get you nowhere with the cops or with your insurance company After the fact it never seems to be an issue Even though that was the trigger for the accident The crazy thing is that no one seems to get penalized for that In the states they'd give you a 500 fine and tow your car. But down here It's so common even cop cars patrol cars often have missing lights and no one says a thing So what would you do down here? It's kind of like no fault insurance

[24:39] If you get in an accident and the guy bothers to stop that is his car's not out of commission That cops will come they might come and your insurance company will show up because you called them The crazy thing is it doesn't seem to matter whose fault it was even if you've got 10 witnesses Believe me the other guy the guy that caused the accident he'll lie Maybe that's why the cops in the insurance company sort of view every accident as no fault Unless of course the guy is obviously drunk By the way I don't think a week has gone by when I haven't seen someone with open booze in their car It's almost always beer never the hard stuff, but still tell me how that would go down up in the states In fact many times I've pulled to a stop sign or red light and the guy right next to me is holding a bottle of beer His passengers too. It's something to get used to though. You never really do

[25:28] All right and moving on news from argentina. I bet you won't hear anything about this story in the lame street media This comes from argentina's largest news service August 15th, 2024 about a week ago now. It says prosecutors in argentina Have launched a series of investigations into former president alberto fernandez who is accused of causing serious Life-threatening injuries to his ex-wife It says last week former first lady fabiola yanes 43 years old filed complaints accusing the 65 year old ex-president of beating her multiple times during their relationship Which ended after he left office in 2023 In her testimony Deposed while in protective custody in spain. She describes how she lived

[26:19] In fear with psychological and physical threats practically the whole run of her marriage accusing Ex-president fernandez of forcing her to have an abortion She's hoping to press felony charges against the former president The investigation comes after a judge reviewed multiple photos on multiple dates showing first lady Yanez with black eyes bruises, etc, etc The photos were leaked by local news sources with the incident triggering mass indignation amongst women's rights groups and feminists in argentina fernandez it says served as president of argentina between 2019 and 2023 Well, what do you think about that? You know, I just came back from argentina I was there for a couple of months people on the street We're talking about it with the general consensus being amongst both argentine men and women

[27:08] Why in the hell did she stay so long and put up with it? Why didn't she blow the whistle on the guy while he was in office? The general consensus amongst the sweaty masses is Apparently at the time to her at least being a battered and bruised first lady Living the life of a spoiled and pampered dignitary was a hell of a lot better than being a divorced nobody You You've been listening to the expat files living in latin america If you need some help with your own plan b we can schedule a one-on-one phone or skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat insider seminar in central america Where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan b send me an email the expat files at gmail.com

[27:58] No spamos