#1356 – Expats, Culture, and Cost of Living in Latin America

Automatically transcribed from the original recording; names and wording may contain errors.

[00:00] South of the border down Mexico way That's where I fell in love when the stars above came up to play and now I wonder Hello there all you ex-pad wannabes. I'm Johnny Mueller and you're listening to the expat files living in Latin America The show that tells you just what it's like to live work play and or retire down here in Latin America It's a mix of the good the bad the ugly and the great and it's all right here. So let's get started Hey, are you ready for another only in Latin America boots on the ground story? All right. Let me set this up You know some gringos when they come down here to Latin America get a plan B get the hell out of dodge and all that They don't want to live in a gated guarded community or big old residential tower

[00:51] where there's all kinds of layers of security if the punch a code in at the front door and then check in with a Guy at the front desk before you can get to the elevator Some gringos and expats just want to live with the common people It's not that gringos and expats don't want to live in a nice gate guarded community, whatever It's just that some gringos and expats are to Conyo's, you know cheap skates. They don't want to pay four hundred five hundred six hundred or Seven hundred bucks a month to live in a nice first world style neighborhood And I know four five six or seven hundred dollars a month sounds awful cheap to you guys up there in first world land But we're talking about Latin American off the tourist trail pricing here Some gringo is an expense. Just want to go bare-bones basic live on the cheap backpacker style

[01:39] To each his own funny thing too I know lots of gringos with dough who prefer to live in a place for two hundred bucks a month Now to me if you got any kind of dough at all or even making fifteen hundred a month on Social Security Paying two hundred dollars a month in rent that doesn't sound very nice to me But hey again teach his own and down here in Latin America that can get you a nice three-bedroom apartment But it's gonna be in a barrio, you know in a middle-class Latin American neighborhood Which in first world terms is lower middle class for sure and let me tell you if you choose to live that way It's gonna be noisy Chicken buses ripping by roosters crowing at four in the morning cheap Motorcycles ripping by at all hours with their tiny chainsaw sounding engines whining away Can you sleep through that at one in the morning? Oh, and there's little guys hauling fruit carts past your door yelling

[02:30] Agua-cate Agua-cate all day long. Can you handle that might that get on your nerves or not? So anyway this weekend I stopped by one of my gringo friends who prefers to live that way. He's a cheapskate With a lot of money, but he's as tight as they come. I don't know why he's so cheap I don't want to broach this subject with him But I do know that he went through a bad divorce up in the States even when he travels He just got back from Cartagena, Colombia Where he was staying in a $22 a night hotel And he was bragging about it. Like that's a good thing. Well, maybe for him not for me Hey, who am I to tell the guy how to live? It's a nice guy with an interesting life and a ton of interesting stories and it's always worthwhile to Sit with him a while when I run into him now the story goes he was once married to a beautiful Puerto Rican girl

[03:17] He met her on vacation while down in Puerto Rico. Would you believe she was a Puerto Rican lady transit cop? Man talk about crazy ass hookup stories. He met her while stuck in a big traffic jam She and some other transit cops were trying to sort things out on the street. He rolled his window down Tried to use his terrible Spanglish to ask her what the hell was going on They exchanged WhatsApp numbers and the rest was history. That is until the divorce I know the guy and I believe it was 90% his fault simply because he's such a tightwad They'd forever be getting into arguments about it He wanted to look like a backpacker even though he had dough and she wanted well, you know what women want Especially when married to a gringo, you know, your standard of living is always raised a bit when you marry a gringo

[04:05] So she wanted that but he just didn't want to give that to her I mean the basics that you give a woman down here in Latin America if you're a gringo like for example a Cleaning lady even if she comes in just one or two days a week That takes a huge load off the lady in the relationship and you really want to do that for her Why not and remember the going rate for a cleaning lady down here is something like 15 at max 20 bucks a day And really that's the least a gringo living down here could do for his wife or girlfriend Hi, you're a cleaning lady and this guy My Tekanya or stingy ass gringo, buddy He just didn't want to shell out for that and when the subject came up, you know, the cleaning lady subject It does come up sometimes people ask, you know, how's your cleaning lady? What do you pair?

[04:51] Is she good and if she is does she have a day or two extra a week to come do my house? I hear people say that all the time lots of times down here a cleaning lady will work for two or three different people You know one or two days a week at one house one or two at another Like for me, I'm single and my place isn't that big so she comes in two days a week Though when I was living in a larger house and had a couple of dogs around I'd have her in five days a week Anyway, this tightwad buddy of mine said cleaning lady. Well, that's why you have a girlfriend or a wife Hell, what do I need a cleaning lady for? That's her job. Now when gringos and expats have that kind of attitude, man. I Can almost guarantee it's not gonna be smooth sailing on the home front Though maybe it's me. I'm just spoiled. I've been living down here more than 30 years and almost that entire time

[05:38] I've had a cleaning lead. I'd never ever expected my girlfriend or significant other to clean the house or do the laundry That's the cleaning lady's job. Even though some of them had never had a cleaning lady before I mean, hey, just like up in the states the average middle-class person has never hired a cleaning lady before not usually It's all about the money the finances and the average Latin American makes maybe three to four hundred bucks a month and There's really no room in the budget for a cleaning lady even one or two days a week But it seems that almost every Latin American family that hauls in more than five or six hundred bucks A month does have some kind of cleaning lady not a full-time cleaning lady But one or two days a week doesn't that seem odd to you an American making five six or seven hundred bucks a month

[06:25] Would be living under a bridge in a cardboard box Yet families who cumulatively make five six seven hundred bucks a month here in Latin America Oftentimes haven't can afford a cleaning lady at least a couple days a week So anyway, my cheapskate gringle buddy has not been too successful in the romantic and love department Not that he hasn't had tons of Latina girlfriends over the years But they don't seem to last more than a month or two And if you'd know him, it's easier to see why So anyway, I've been to his two hundred dollar a month apartment in the body or a couple of times And when you walk into the place, it looks like any pretty decent three-bedroom apartment, you know a little rough around the edges I mean hell the guy is a bachelor right bachelor pads can't tend to be a little scruffy

[07:11] You know missing the woman's touch and all that but when you're in the living room looking out the picture window You can see on the street, man. It's chaos cuz he is living in the body, you know Middle-class Latin America, which is basically on par with lower middle-class America or white trash America Hey, we all can picture that in our minds. Can't we? Hey, I don't want to be judgmental here But man, I'd never want to live like that Though like I said some griggles and expects just want to live with the regular people with the masses But I'm thinking more. It's just because they're cheapskates at heart Anyway, looking around the guy's got the cheapest lamps the cheapest sulfas and furniture The cheapest appliances the cheapest beer in the fridge yet the guys collecting the two first world pensions I bet he brings in four grand a month man

[07:56] I'm telling you on four grand a month a single guy down here in Latin America to live like a prince But hey, that's his business how he wants to live is his thing altogether So anyway, we're sitting in the living room looking outside through the picture window at the masses going by outside Soon enough you notice there's delivery guys on little motorcycles everywhere Now here in Latin America every single pharmacy fast-food joint McDonald's chicken ligand mini Mart bar restaurant They deliver deliveries a big thing and it's free delivery to the guy makes his money on tips and some of these places deliver 24-7 now I know up in the states. You got a lot of that going on too with uber eats, right? They've got uber eats down here too or many uber eats clones. Anyway now before the covid it crap

[08:45] You know the year 2020 and earlier most fast-food joints and pharmacies had delivery But during the covid it crap and afterwards It seems every little guy with a delivery motorcycle had babies and they all bought delivery motorcycles, too In fact, it's normal to pull up to a red light. They'll just swarm all around you You can't believe it trying to get the jump on you when the light turns green and often they'll just whip right through a red light too Since the cops are powerless to stop these guys and the cops know it's not worth giving them a ticket anyway Cuz they're not gonna pay up half of them don't even have valid driver's licenses. That's a fact You've heard me talk about many times before so anyway, I'm sitting in the living room shooting the breeze with my cheap ass gringle, buddy There's a knock at the door. I hear a motorcycle downstairs. It's the delivery guy

[09:32] My gringle buddy lets him in he walks up the stairs with the carry-out food bags and my gringle buddy says to the kid I'm guessing the kids around 17 18 years old. He says hey Dumbo have a seat and he hands him a beer And I'm thinking he just called that guy Dumbo. What an insult But hell, you know, he's being offered a beer. So he sits down takes a swig Then the gringle turns to me and introduces me as Johnny and I said and you are Indicate says Dumbo Then I got it the guy's nickname was Dumbo Not a nice nickname at all for an American but down here in Latin America Anything goes now you longtime listeners know in previous shows. I've mentioned how most all Latino guys anyway have nicknames

[10:20] Now remember the whole time we're speaking Spanish because we're in the barrio where practically no one speaks English Well, most know three or four words But that's about it. One of the favorite phrases for Latinos who don't speak English is nice to meet you So anyway, I looked at my gringle buddy and said Dumbo, huh? How did he get that name? And at that moment the kid took off his baseball hat and I could see exactly why Now in English Dumbo could just mean stupid like the elephant in the Disney movie But it also could mean big-ass floppy ears to turns out the kid was not dumb just had big ears So anyway Dumbo left and now I was left a little bit confused I just witnessed my skin flint gringle buddy Give the guy a beer and a tip and I thought man is my buddy breaking down. Is he losing it?

[11:07] I never saw him that generous in my life now. Don't get me wrong It's not that I hang with this guy when we once met some years ago in an outdoor cafe We exchanged what's up numbers though. I didn't tell him I never use what's up So anyway, I said Mick I can't believe you gave the guy a beer and a tip that's not like you You find Jesus or something? He said nah, it's just that I feel sorry for the guy He's been one of my frequent delivery guys for some time now I real likable talkative guy and when he told me a story I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy It turns out he said he's one of seven sons in the family No girls all sons and he's really proud of the fact that he's the seventh son the last one

[11:53] It's a superstition, you know only problem is he and his six brothers all have different fathers So imagine that having a mother who had seven kids with seven different guys Then he said of course Dumbo doesn't know his father as he never met him And those are the kind of stories that absolutely pervade every section of the lower middle-class barrios It's a culture very similar to the ghettos up in the states where people just don't know who their father is or they know But they don't have much contact with him Yet because it's a Catholic culture here in Latin America The fatherless kids down here and the single mothers and the body owes here Produce a different kind of atmosphere a more civilized kind of society more respectful and polite. That's for sure

[12:41] I mean look, it's certainly not all that great, but there's less crime fewer assaults less dangerous streets More kids playing outside like normal kids used to do though. I'm not saying these kids are normal I mean look it's hard enough growing up as a kid if you got two normal parents But imagine if you never met your dad or all your brothers and sisters are half brothers and sisters Anyway, there's something about Latin American culture. It seems broken in many aspects Just like so much of what's happening up in the first world except somehow the Catholic Christian thing You know you walk into someone's house and you see an altar with Jesus and Mary Candles burning Bible wide open to a certain page I don't know if that's what's doing it, but I can tell you from my experience most Latino families

[13:28] Even though there might be single mothers and kids from different fathers. The families are really tight They even sit down and have meals together though. It's true Latin America is full of deadbeat dads You find in the higher income brackets, you know, the upper middle classes and the wealthy There are plenty of single mothers and absentee fathers too But they do support their kids in the body was however the middle and lower class areas town There are just as many deadbeat dads who've abandoned their kids and don't support them They don't support their kids financially after all they are deadbeat dads But they'll still show up at the house say hi to the kids hug them Sit down have a chat and have a bite to eat. It seems to me. It's not a purely antagonistic Relationship like you see with deadbeat dads up in the state Now I don't know to what extent that makes a difference

[14:15] But there definitely is a difference The fact is I've met tons of Latino kids down here who live at home with their single mothers Typical deadbeat dad situation yet. A lot of these kids are not resentful of it at all They're still polite and nice and respectful of strangers, etc That's something you just don't see up in places like Chicago Where there are just hundreds of thousands of single mothers who've been abandoned by deadbeat dads The kids are broken and resentful and they abuse their teachers physically and verbally and they get away with it American kids of single mothers and deadbeat dads are generally not nice respectable and polite I mean look in every US public school You got to go through a metal detector to get in and out here in Latin America

[15:01] It's unheard of and when you bring it up to a parent down here, they can't believe it Latino kids are not allowed to mouth off or be disrespectful to their teachers never how refreshing is that? Now about gringles and expats living in the body. Oh, you know Some guys and gals do give it a try because it's dirt cheap I mean really where could you find a two or three bedroom apartment where everything works for 200 bucks a month? I know. I know you're thinking location location location Well, you know, you'd be right But you could still find a very nice two or three bedroom apartment in any place off the gringo tourist trail in a nice area Get it guarded community residential tower for five six hundred bucks a month I'm talking about living like a first world gringo and that's really what we want to do, right?

[15:48] We don't want to come down here to Latin America and lower our standards though. A lot of us really should Jettisoned a lot of the junk we've accumulated over the years because we do accumulate lots of junk more than any other culture That's a hard thing to do. It's hard for me, too By the way when talking about my skin flint gringo buddies delivery guy jumbo Oh, and they don't pronounce it jumbo like in English. They pronounce it jumbo Anyway, my skin flint gringo buddies says you think that's funny He said in the apartment downstairs, you see my gringo buddy lives on the second floor He says they've got five boys and a girl in the family not a broken home either There's a mom and a dad there a totally intact middle-class Latino family. You do see a lot of those Anyway, he said get this Johnny. The dad's name is Luis or Luis. They've got five sons and a daughter

[16:38] The son's names are Luis Luis Cito, which means little Luis day Luis, which is D apostrophe Luis Like you might see in a French person's name the oldest kid is named Luis Mayor or they just call him Mayor which means oldest and finally the youngest kid's name is Wait for it now Junior and the daughter's name. They have one daughter One guess drumroll here Louisa So you have Luis Luisito de Luis Luis Mayor and Junior Now you might be thinking you boomers out there might be thinking anyway, that's what George Foreman did

[17:23] You know the heavyweight champion of the world. He had like five or six kids. He named them all George Well, we're talking about apples and oranges because the Louis's in this family when written down are not the same at all Similar but not the same by the way, my skin flint gringo buddy told me that the Louis who is a junior You know the youngest kid in the family on the first floor It actually says Junior on his center his birth certificate and all his ID documents. Oh and one more thing I'm back from Argentina now. I'm roaming around Central America and the Caribbean now Anyway, and past couple shows you heard me give some reports of what's happening on the ground down there in Argentina especially in and around Buenos Aires you heard me mention that more than a whole generation of Argentina's are

[18:10] Completely used to super high inflation rates of a hundred to two hundred percent a year That means their fiat paper money is devaluing so fast that the 1,000 peso note The most commonly used denomination is worth less than one US dollar something like 80 cents And now that malaise been in office only six months, by the way He's ordered the currency printers to print 10,000 peso notes. They're worth about eight dollars So the highest denomination paper note in Argentina's worth only eight dollars And I was down in Argentina well And I only saw one of those notes being passed because there's so few of them in circulation. They're just being introduced now Anyway, more than a whole generation of Argentinos are used to massive inflation a hundred to two hundred percent a year

[18:57] That's why the culture does not save they spend almost all their paychecks within the month they get them Because by the end of the month their actual amount in their bank accounts or in their hands with paper fiat money is worth 10 to 20 percent less anyway the other day I was talking to a 50 something Argentino guy and I said you know tell me something that foreigners aren't likely to know guys like me gringos coming down here Tell me something that foreigners are almost completely unaware of he said where do I start I said well start somewhere He says for one Argentina does not mint any coins He said young and young adult Argentinos have never even seen an Argentine coin He said because long ago when coins were in circulation the junk dealers and the scrap dealers Collected them all because their melt value was five even ten times as much as their face value

[19:46] So he said at the time it seemed to make sense when the government announced they weren't going to coin anymore However, he said for about a year to two years. It caused a huge problem Why because all the vending machines and the buses and parking lots subway systems, etc Were coin operated machines. There were millions of machines that only took coins And of course, there's no way to change over all those machines rapidly. It took months even years I said what you do then he said Capitalism or underground capitalism handled it for us turns out He said the scrap dealers that collected all those coins They did not melt down all of them and turn them into scrap. He said turns out for a couple years running There'd be little kiosks all over the place Where people would line up and pay in paper money for coins just to get through their daily lives

[20:35] Getting rid of the coins was supposed to help the common man the working man on the street It turns out he ends up having to buy him back It's a huge markup to be able to ride the bus or pay the parking meters So think of that the government eliminates coins because they're too expensive to produce Yet the people had to buy him on the black market to get around town But now of course, he said all the machines take bills since that happened. There are no coins They've all been mouthed down for scrap. What a sad story. He was absolutely right though He told me a story. I've never heard before I don't think a single gringo or expat I've ever met other than those living in Argentina has ever heard about that one Have you doesn't it always go to show that when governments try to fix things? The unintended consequences are always much worse than the supposed cure

[21:24] But you knew that already right and that's why your plan B is moving along nicely, isn't it? Isn't it? Hmm, then why are you listening to this show? That is the point right to get the hell out of Dodge while you still can meanwhile, I stumbled on some Information you'll find quite interesting According to the my jammy Association of realtors. Yep, the Miami Association of realtors people of Latin American extraction hold nine out of the ten top spots as Foreign buyers of real estate in the greater Miami area turns out considering real estate purchases in Miami based on population Ecuador ranks second only to Colombia on

[22:10] The list of foreigners purchasing real estate in the greater Miami area Here's how it stacks up. Number one Colombia number two Ecuador three Argentina for Brazil number five, Venezuela Let's stop there for a second now. How in the hell can Venezuelans afford to buy anything in Miami? Why it's because those Venezuelans are politically connected stinking crooks By the way, most of the Miami real estate purchases by foreigners Just coincidentally happen to be politically connected in their countries of origin You know exit senators diplomats generals kernels So accordingly the vast majority of the money used to buy that real estate has been stolen, you know skimmed obtained illegally and drug deals

[22:59] Etc, etc. Man, I'll tell you they talk about these corrupt politicians in other countries US politicians take the cake who allow that shit to happen allow Latin American politicians Dictators and their families to buy real estate in their names or their wives names or their mistresses names or their kids name When I see and read about stuff like this, I'm just so glad I got the hell out of the US best decision I ever made well in the top three. Anyway, the question is how much does this kind of stuff bother you? Are you not just totally irate and ready to get the hell out of Dodge if you're not Guess what you deserve to go down with the ship but back to this Florida real estate article It says in a report by the Miami Association of realtors Latin American foreigners paid more than five billion dollars for Miami real estate in 2023

[23:45] The numbers expected to reach six point five billion by the end of 2024 the list of top Latin American buyers Number one Columbia. I wonder where they get all that extra money. What a mystery, huh? Number two Ecuador three Argentina for Brazil five Venezuela six Mexico number seven Canada. Yeah, that's right, Canada Can you believe it? There are six Latin American countries buying up more real estate in greater Miami than people from any other country in the world With Canada being the top non Latin American country at number seven followed by number eight again another Latin American country Peru Is it any wonder and even this article says Miami is now being called the capital of Latin America

[24:37] Seriously, I'm hearing that all the time because now and it has been for some time Populated by at least in the greater Miami area more than 50% Latinos and about all that dirty stolen money flowing in from Latin American dirtbag politicians into real estate in Miami How do you feel about that? Doesn't that irk? Yeah, we know they're gonna steal, right? But how is it possible? Let's say for a general an Ecuador making $22,000 a year to afford a three million dollar mansion in Miami. There are hundreds if not thousands of cases just like that Oh, but but wait a minute. I forgot every US politician that goes to Washington DC goes in skinny and comes out fat The Clinton's Obama's Biden's are all worth well over a hundred million bucks

[25:26] Yet they never worked our real job in their lives never had a callous on their hands They have absolutely no idea what it's like to actually work for a living. Oh, well, it's best not to think about it Sometimes, you know, I look at people who are stupid, you know, every other person you pass on the street is below average, right? Sometimes I think being curious is a curse You look at the average guy and he seems so much happier than the deep thinker So what would you rather be smart and curious or dumb and happy? Hmm. I wonder what chat GPT has to say about that Alright, let's exit stage right today with an email from Carol. She says Johnny You've been talking lately about microplastics and contamination in our water, etc, etc She says when I was very young we lived on a street that was not paved. It was gravel

[26:14] So every couple of weeks or so a truck would drive by Spraying a kind of brown thick oily chemical on the dusty dirt service. So the cars wouldn't kick up the dust Later we found out it was mixed with DDT to kill mosquitoes, but we didn't care. We thought that was great Our government looking out for us. I Also remember Johnny as a kid playing around running through sprinklers and and when it was hot taking big drinks of water from people's garden hoses Thinking back now, I remember that water always tasted like rubber or plastic Obviously from laying out on the lawn in the Sun all day By the way Johnny when the truck would spray that junk all the kids in the neighborhood including me would jump on our bikes and follow That truck pretending to be flying in a mist of clouds. I

[27:02] still remember that oily smell and the funny taste of the water from the garden hoses and Now Johnny 50 years later though. I can't speak for my neighborhood friends. I lost touch with them many years ago I'm surprised I myself don't have cancer Knock on wood though. There's not much real wood to knock on anymore. Is there? Keep up the good work Johnny. I've listened to every show you've put out since I found you three years ago signed Carol Winnetka, Illinois You've been listening to the expat files living in Latin America If you need some help with your own plan B We can schedule a one-on-one phone or Skype consult Just send me an email the expat files at gmail.com And if you want to get on the waiting list for my next week-long expat

[27:48] Insider seminar in Central America where you're guaranteed to get a two to five year head start on your plan B Send me an email the expat files at gmail.com. No spamos